Monday, July 6, 2015
Saturday, July 4, 2015
Confused
This is a very interesting blog post. Not what I expected, when I first started reading, but exactly what I needed to read and think about. It humbled me and showed me that I sure can try a lot harder to be a better person.
https://kaitlinebeling.wordpress.com/2015/06/27/dear-homosexual-america-im-sorry-an-open-letter-from-a-christian/
======================
I didn't do very much today. Watched H2 channel, series called "The Sons of Liberty"--I had seen it before, good enough to watch again. Then I watched "Independence Day" tonight. Great film.
I was half asleep in my chair and Jennifer walked in the door. She was on her way home from a bar-be-que they had at church.
I stood up and she gave me a big hug--asked about how I was doing. Then, we had a "real" talk like a woman would have with her mother.
I won't disclose our conversation, other than to say, neither one of them really wants to move, but Eric thinks they should, but he is very troubled lately.
Jennifer received a call from our Governor's office wanting her to be on a committee of some sort--probably pertaining to her vast knowledge of non-profits. So she's not real keen to leave.
They are having trouble in their marriage because Jen keeps trying to get Eric to make up his mind, figure out a schedule of sorts on when they will move, or even IF they will move and he is angry that she keeps asking him those questions.
I let her talk and gave absolutely no advice!!
She hugged me good-bye and told me she loved me.
I'm glad and sad about all of it.
================
Then it got real noisy around here with lots of fireworks going on down by the lake--even though it is forbidden in this park. Fireworks going on in Brighton, which I can also hear and in a town south of us. We are surrounded by loud booms and lots of noise.
Praise God, at least no one is shooting off those M-80's over my house. Perhaps tomorrow, it will quiet down?
https://kaitlinebeling.wordpress.com/2015/06/27/dear-homosexual-america-im-sorry-an-open-letter-from-a-christian/
======================
I didn't do very much today. Watched H2 channel, series called "The Sons of Liberty"--I had seen it before, good enough to watch again. Then I watched "Independence Day" tonight. Great film.
I was half asleep in my chair and Jennifer walked in the door. She was on her way home from a bar-be-que they had at church.
I stood up and she gave me a big hug--asked about how I was doing. Then, we had a "real" talk like a woman would have with her mother.
I won't disclose our conversation, other than to say, neither one of them really wants to move, but Eric thinks they should, but he is very troubled lately.
Jennifer received a call from our Governor's office wanting her to be on a committee of some sort--probably pertaining to her vast knowledge of non-profits. So she's not real keen to leave.
They are having trouble in their marriage because Jen keeps trying to get Eric to make up his mind, figure out a schedule of sorts on when they will move, or even IF they will move and he is angry that she keeps asking him those questions.
I let her talk and gave absolutely no advice!!
She hugged me good-bye and told me she loved me.
I'm glad and sad about all of it.
================
Then it got real noisy around here with lots of fireworks going on down by the lake--even though it is forbidden in this park. Fireworks going on in Brighton, which I can also hear and in a town south of us. We are surrounded by loud booms and lots of noise.
Praise God, at least no one is shooting off those M-80's over my house. Perhaps tomorrow, it will quiet down?
Friday, July 3, 2015
Happy
Maddie is home!!!
Her best friends were there too--they rode to the airport with Stephen and Helene.
She and her bestie, Susanna, had a sleep-over.
and then, Maddie reconnected with life in America and her favorite--Jimmy Johns
...but I kind of worry about this guy who keeps sending her love-lorn messages on Face Book---
Then I notice in her Jimmy Johns photo, she is still wearing her "Purity" ring, so I am reassured that ALL was not lost in Guatemala!!
==========================
You just never know. I remember when Jennifer went to Spain for a 3-month work/study program while she was in college. There was a guy named Miguel--her host family's oldest son. He even came to the States the next year to visit. Then after she graduated from college, she went back for nine months. Miguel was distraught when she married. Then, after her divorce, she went back again--just to see if they had a future. THANK GOD--on her plane trip back home to Boston, she sat next to a guy from New Jersey and, as they say, the rest is history.
Then I remember when I went for the summer music program at Michigan State University ( 2 months) and on the 4th day there, I met a really, tall handsome and suave kid. The first time I was on my own, so to speak, and he was so cute and funny and really interested in ME and not just some jock who only wanted to talk about himself. He was a fantastic dancer; taught me some of the new dances that were unknown to my small hick high school, and his kisses? Be still my heart. The last week, he took me downtown Lansing, to a jewelry store and told me to pick out any ring I wanted. Oh my! But, I came home and married the high school boy I had known all my life.
Richard Spencer Dunham. His name still sends shivers. Luckily, we are still in touch, and sometimes he says, "I wonder how different my life would have been if you had said 'Yes' to my proposal."
==================
There is something so romantic about being away from home, for the first time, and meeting a boy, and no one you know, knows him and...............
================
As Maddie was flying home to Metro airport, her Mom Karen, was also headed out from the same place, headed west to spend some time with Susie.
So, I had two in the air at the same time, which gave me a moment's pause. Back in the day, I would have had their flight numbers, the airline they were flying on, when they left and when they arrived. Sometimes, even going on line and watching their flight on the radar thingy.
Nowadays, I just ask God to keep them safe and go about my day.
==================
Pammie called this morning. I asked if her two gay friends, Jimmy and Paul had gotten married or were planning too, now that it is legal.
She said, "They've been together twenty-five years and they see no need for a certificate to prove anything. Besides that, I've heard them talk about how gay marriages usually don't work out. Nope. They think the whole legal thing is rather stupid."
Hm-mm. A younger friend of mine, Phil and his partner DID get married. They too have been together 20 years. They thought it was important to get the "certificate."
Different ways of thinking, I guess.
==========================
Hosta luego
Cool.
The Farmer's Almanac foretold of a cool summer for the Midwest, including Michigan, and sure enough. How does 49-50 degree night and morning temperatures sound? I sleep with the bedroom window open and had to switch over to the "heat" setting on my thermostat, just to take off the chill so I could take my shower.
On the other hand, I just love the temps in the 60's to mid 70's all day. My kind of weather!!
I was running on $1.66 in my checking account and the Fur Kids only had one can of wet food left and my prescription was ready and I had one pill left here.
I checked my bank account this morning and THANK YOU, LORD, Social Security hit a day early!! I was off and running--at 2:00. Up to Howell, with stops at the gas station, bank, Wal-Mart (to pick up prescription) Tractor Supply (for cheap bird seed, which was on sale--SCORE).
Then drove past my place and on to Brighton. Cartridge World to get more inkjets, VG's (the Rich Peoples store) for two deli salads, Grand Traverse Pie Company (pure impulse for a slice of pie for supper), Michaels, and Aldi's--hunting for the elusive Finish POWDER dishwasher detergent.
The traffic in Brighton was awful--which is normal for that time of day, but the driver's there are so polite--they will stop and let you out of side streets, malls, etc.
All that and I forgot to drop off my rent check on the way out and the way back in to the park. DUH!!
============================
I called John when I got home and said, "I need your help, when you have time. I've got two bags of bird seed in the trunk."
"Okay--give me an hour and I'll come over."
<an hour?>
Ten minutes later, Merle came riding by on his bike, saw my car trunk open and came up to the door and offered to get the bags out and fill up the bird seed can.
Okey Dokey!
Then I called John back.
"I don't need you any more."
"You aren't the first woman I've heard that from!"
I almost fell into the trap, about to say, "No. I DO need you..." but I quickly gained my senses and said,
"I mean I don't need your help with the bird seed."
"Okay."
"Thanks, John. See ya later."
Bahda Boom, Bahda Bing!
==========================
Merle is really not well. He had every test imaginable last fall and just got done with more. Not one single thing wrong with him, that can be seen in a CAT scan, or an MRI or stress test or Echo Cardiogram or Ultra sound of his innards, plus a Colonoscopy just for good measure, and a sleep apnea test, overnight. He doesn't have high blood pressure or cholesterol. Nothing is wrong anywhere. He is just weak, kind of quiet and not the jokester he used to be and he sleeps all the time.
Kind of sad. Pearl has just given up on him. Personally, I think he needs to quit work and be
prescribed a nice, mild anti-depressant. But that's just Dr. Judy's observation.
===========================
As I noted earlier, I cannot find Finish POWDER for the dishwasher! The repair guy told me to use only Finish in the dishwasher, but not the Pods. Nobody around here sells the powder anymore. I want it!!!
Plus, the powder is said to be a really great detergent to use in the washer for the white clothes--it gets the yellowing out. I need that!
Our water here is full of rust/calcium/lime. My once beautiful white sheets are now beige--as are most of my white shirts and pants.
I see that I can order it on Amazon, which seems weird, but I just might have too. Get a few month's supply or something.
======================
I have completed the blanket I was crocheting as a test, for my friend Chrissy. It turned out quite nice and not too heavy, as I had feared. I have washed it very delicately (just to get all the cat hair out of it), dried it, very gently, and have it folded, rolled and stored in a nice plastic bag. I like her pattern and think it might work up really well, using a baby yarn and a size E hook, for a baby afghan. I just may try it to see what it looks like.
===========================
John called at 9:00 tonight.
"How are your mosquitoes?"
"My mosquitoes? Fine I guess. Why?"
"They are terrible here. I took Maisey out for her bedtime walk and I got eaten up alive!"
"Well John...your back yard is by the swale. Of course there are going to be skeeters back there. Why didn't you walk her down the street?"
"'Cause they are terrible. Every where!"
"I just came in from sitting out on my front porch and I didn't see or hear one mosquito. Of course, I wasn't out walking in the grass to stir them up."
"I'm itching to death here! I've got bites all over my arms and neck and even down my legs! How did they get up, inside my pants?"
"Because, you were walking around, stirring them up out of the grass! Anyway--do you have any Calamine lotion to put on? You know...that pink stuff people use for poison ivy?"
"No. I don't know what to do. The itching is driving me nuts."
<Geez Louise>
"Do you have any kind of lotion? Go look in your bathroom cabinet, or...you could make a paste out of baking soda and water and spread that on the bites."
"Baking powder?"
"No! Baking SODA. The kind in the orangeish box with the arm and hammer thingy on the front."
<good grief>
"Just a minute..."
I hear him walking around.
"I just found some kind of salve or something in the medicine cabinet. It says, 'Cortisone Cream'."
"Okay. That should work. Try it and see. It might take half an hour, but it should work. If you are still itching by bedtime...do you have any allergy medicine. Like Benedryl or something like that?"
"Yes. I have Claratin. I'll try that. It makes me sleepy too. Okay. Thanks. We'll talk tomorrow."
=================
This and several instances have shown me that John is not the smartest egg in the Baker's Dozen children his parents had. Either the gene pool was thin by the time he was conceived, #7, or....it's his Polish heritage.
<wow, how many people did I offend with those last two words?>
This goes to prove one thing--men need to be married, or at least have a woman around to take care of them. As I have said before, men are the weirdest animals I have ever known!
On the other hand, I just love the temps in the 60's to mid 70's all day. My kind of weather!!
I was running on $1.66 in my checking account and the Fur Kids only had one can of wet food left and my prescription was ready and I had one pill left here.
I checked my bank account this morning and THANK YOU, LORD, Social Security hit a day early!! I was off and running--at 2:00. Up to Howell, with stops at the gas station, bank, Wal-Mart (to pick up prescription) Tractor Supply (for cheap bird seed, which was on sale--SCORE).
Then drove past my place and on to Brighton. Cartridge World to get more inkjets, VG's (the Rich Peoples store) for two deli salads, Grand Traverse Pie Company (pure impulse for a slice of pie for supper), Michaels, and Aldi's--hunting for the elusive Finish POWDER dishwasher detergent.
The traffic in Brighton was awful--which is normal for that time of day, but the driver's there are so polite--they will stop and let you out of side streets, malls, etc.
All that and I forgot to drop off my rent check on the way out and the way back in to the park. DUH!!
============================
I called John when I got home and said, "I need your help, when you have time. I've got two bags of bird seed in the trunk."
"Okay--give me an hour and I'll come over."
<an hour?>
Ten minutes later, Merle came riding by on his bike, saw my car trunk open and came up to the door and offered to get the bags out and fill up the bird seed can.
Okey Dokey!
Then I called John back.
"I don't need you any more."
"You aren't the first woman I've heard that from!"
I almost fell into the trap, about to say, "No. I DO need you..." but I quickly gained my senses and said,
"I mean I don't need your help with the bird seed."
"Okay."
"Thanks, John. See ya later."
Bahda Boom, Bahda Bing!
==========================
Merle is really not well. He had every test imaginable last fall and just got done with more. Not one single thing wrong with him, that can be seen in a CAT scan, or an MRI or stress test or Echo Cardiogram or Ultra sound of his innards, plus a Colonoscopy just for good measure, and a sleep apnea test, overnight. He doesn't have high blood pressure or cholesterol. Nothing is wrong anywhere. He is just weak, kind of quiet and not the jokester he used to be and he sleeps all the time.
Kind of sad. Pearl has just given up on him. Personally, I think he needs to quit work and be
prescribed a nice, mild anti-depressant. But that's just Dr. Judy's observation.
===========================
As I noted earlier, I cannot find Finish POWDER for the dishwasher! The repair guy told me to use only Finish in the dishwasher, but not the Pods. Nobody around here sells the powder anymore. I want it!!!
Plus, the powder is said to be a really great detergent to use in the washer for the white clothes--it gets the yellowing out. I need that!
Our water here is full of rust/calcium/lime. My once beautiful white sheets are now beige--as are most of my white shirts and pants.
I see that I can order it on Amazon, which seems weird, but I just might have too. Get a few month's supply or something.
======================
I have completed the blanket I was crocheting as a test, for my friend Chrissy. It turned out quite nice and not too heavy, as I had feared. I have washed it very delicately (just to get all the cat hair out of it), dried it, very gently, and have it folded, rolled and stored in a nice plastic bag. I like her pattern and think it might work up really well, using a baby yarn and a size E hook, for a baby afghan. I just may try it to see what it looks like.
===========================
John called at 9:00 tonight.
"How are your mosquitoes?"
"My mosquitoes? Fine I guess. Why?"
"They are terrible here. I took Maisey out for her bedtime walk and I got eaten up alive!"
"Well John...your back yard is by the swale. Of course there are going to be skeeters back there. Why didn't you walk her down the street?"
"'Cause they are terrible. Every where!"
"I just came in from sitting out on my front porch and I didn't see or hear one mosquito. Of course, I wasn't out walking in the grass to stir them up."
"I'm itching to death here! I've got bites all over my arms and neck and even down my legs! How did they get up, inside my pants?"
"Because, you were walking around, stirring them up out of the grass! Anyway--do you have any Calamine lotion to put on? You know...that pink stuff people use for poison ivy?"
"No. I don't know what to do. The itching is driving me nuts."
<Geez Louise>
"Do you have any kind of lotion? Go look in your bathroom cabinet, or...you could make a paste out of baking soda and water and spread that on the bites."
"Baking powder?"
"No! Baking SODA. The kind in the orangeish box with the arm and hammer thingy on the front."
<good grief>
"Just a minute..."
I hear him walking around.
"I just found some kind of salve or something in the medicine cabinet. It says, 'Cortisone Cream'."
"Okay. That should work. Try it and see. It might take half an hour, but it should work. If you are still itching by bedtime...do you have any allergy medicine. Like Benedryl or something like that?"
"Yes. I have Claratin. I'll try that. It makes me sleepy too. Okay. Thanks. We'll talk tomorrow."
=================
This and several instances have shown me that John is not the smartest egg in the Baker's Dozen children his parents had. Either the gene pool was thin by the time he was conceived, #7, or....it's his Polish heritage.
<wow, how many people did I offend with those last two words?>
This goes to prove one thing--men need to be married, or at least have a woman around to take care of them. As I have said before, men are the weirdest animals I have ever known!
Wednesday, July 1, 2015
In The Blink of an Eye
feisty
1.
full of animation, energy, or courage; spirited; spunky; plucky:
=================================================
Maybe not so much today!
I know I have told you about the neighbor I had when I lived in Saginaw. She lived directly across the street. A bit eccentric, but a good person. She was a professor at a college just north of Saginaw; Delta College. She started the entire dental hygiene school there. Never married. At one time, a heavy drinker and was continually setting off her house alarm--usually in the middle of the night. Ernie would have to get up and run across the street and shut it off for her, because in her confused state of mind, she couldn't figure it out.
When I moved, 12 years ago, she kept in touch, once in awhile. Then, after Fred died, she started calling me every Tuesday, at precisely 4:00 in the afternoon. Every Tuesday! Sometimes it became an annoyance. She had a habit of saying, "anyway" every few words.
"Anyway, I had to pick up Sally this morning, you know to take her to her doctor's, anyway, she was not quite right in her head. Anyway, we got there and, anyway....."
It was sort of distracting listening to her because I got to counting "anyway", just to see how many times she'd say it.
She only had so much allotted time to talk as she had to get on with her next Tuesday phone call, on her list. She had a list of people she called, on a certain day, at a certain time.
I was her Tuesday...at 4:00.
She didn't call on June 16th, and I wondered about it, but she did call on the 20th-the day before my birthday.
"Just called to wish you a happy birthday." and then hung up the phone. Strange.
She didn't call on the 23rd, the next Tuesday. I called her, but no answer so I left a message to please get back to me as I was getting worried about her.
I felt so uneasy. I thought she must be in the hospital or dead. If she were in the hospital, she still would have called. So yesterday, I decided to check things out. I went on-line and searched the Saginaw, Michigan obituaries. And there it was--IN MY FACE!
Phyllis Ann Jernstadt, age 78, of Saginaw, formerly of Big Rapids,
passed away on Wednesday, June 24, 2015. She was born on February 24, 1937 in
Big Rapids, the daughter of Martin and Mary (Eichenberg) Jernstadt. She
graduated from Big Rapids High School and earned a Bachelor of Science degree
in Business Education in 1968 and a Master of Science degree in Occupational
Education in 1991; both from Ferris State University. Early in her career, she
worked as a dental assistant for Dr. Harmon in Big Rapids then Dr. Najar in
Grand Rapids. Phyllis started the dental hygiene and assisting program at Delta
College, Saginaw 1967, retiring in 2003. Phyllis was president of the Michigan
Dental Assisting Association in 1973 and 1974. She held local office in the
association throughout her career and had been the education chair for the last
three years. She is survived by one sister-in-law, Betty (Jim) Jernstadt;
nieces and nephews, Bill (Shirley) Jernstadt, Dale (Mary) Jernstadt, Ollie
(Mary) Irvin, Gail Weller, Dana (Angela) Irvin, Ace Jernstadt, Honey (Karl)
Blemaster, JT Jernstadt, Carol Jernstadt, Marty (Angela) Jernstadt, and Anna
Maier; her adopted son, Tony (Liliu) Bao; grandchildren, Tony Jr. (Shelly) Bao
and Julia Bao; several great and great-great nieces and nephews; plus many
cousins. Also surviving is dear friend, Sally Ross. Funeral Services will be
11:00 am Monday, June 29, 2015 at the Mohnke Funeral Home in Big Rapids.
Visitation will be Sunday, June 28, 2015 from 2:00 5:00 pm at the funeral home.
Interment will follow Monday's service at the Highland View Cemetery. Memorial
contributions may be made to the Mecosta Animal Rescue and Adoption Center.
I could feel my heart starting to pound and I felt a chill all around my mid-section. Yes--I guess I was in shock.
But--you know me. I had to find out what and how and when and....all of it. But how?
I checked out the funeral home guest book and found a name I recognized--a friend Phyl had talked about. Carol Moody. She had worked with Phyl.
I saw Carol Moody now lived in Kalamazoo. I jumped on Face Book and found no account. So I Googled the White Pages and there was a Carol Moody listed...in Kalamazoo. I took a chance. Her phone number was listed so I called. No answer so I left a message.
"Hi--this is Judy Miller, a friend of Phyllis'. I just found out. Could you please call me and...if this is not the Carol Moody who was also Phyllis' friend, I apologize for this call."
She called me back!! Carol was Phyllis' 8:00 pm, every Monday phone call.
She didn't know much either, but...Phyllis had pain, went to the doctor and he admitted her to hospital on the 15th of June. She must have called from the hospital to wish me a happy birthday. She had a blood clot and they were giving her blood thinners to break it up. She was doing well, but on the 23rd, the clot broke free and went to her lungs. They put her on a ventilator and she died the next day.
========================
I sure will miss our phone calls. Phyl kept me up to date on all the happenings in the neighborhood where I used to live. When Ernie was sick and dying, she'd call two or three times a week to let me know what was going on across the street. If he had been outside walking--how he looked. What he said and how he acted when he went over to visit with her. If I hadn't heard from him, I'd call Phyl and ask what she knew.
She told me when his house sold and all about the cute, young woman who bought it and how much she loved the house.
Phyl kept me in touch with a place I had lived and loved for 12 years. It was nice for me to have that.
I'm sure going to miss her Tuesday at precisely 4:00, phone calls.
Tuesday, June 30, 2015
Feisty!!
That's what I have decided I am. Feisty!!
It sounds so much better than, "cranky, old woman!"
I think that any of us widows, divorcee's--we women that live alone, or have for awhile, have to be kind of feisty, or we'd be dead by now!
Sometimes we wake up in the middle of the dark night with a bad nightmare--we gotta get through it all on our own.
We wake up in the morning, with the aches and pains of arthritis and we don't have the option of sitting all day in our chair. We have to get up, tend to our pets, do the house work, outside work--whatever needs doing.
We have health issues, sometimes scary ones. Being alone can make them even scarier. No one with us to reassure us---we push on.
We have financial issues--really scary. No one else in the house, sharing expenses. No one else to tell us, "everything is going to be okay."
Sometimes, in our moments of quiet reflection, we get angry at the way life has treated us. How come a parent was so critical of us? When we see others who had wonderful childhoods.
How come our men didn't treat us right? When we see others being treated (perhaps) way better than they ought to, because they are mean, nasty, bitches.
How come our loves died? We were so happy together. How come, when we see long time marriages where the couple can hardly stand each other.
How come?
It is as it is.
We gotta be a bit feisty or we'd fall right down on the floor and never get up!
=====================
I get angry at the way our society has become. Is my upset and anger going to help me or anyone?
No!
If I harbor unforgiveness from past hurts. Is that going to make the person I won't forgive feel bad?
No!
When I get to Heaven and the Lord questions me. He isn't going to ask me about anyone elses life. He is only going to ask me how I lived MY life.
I think I will say, "Feisty, but with a sense of humor and always a kind, loving smile."
It sounds so much better than, "cranky, old woman!"
I think that any of us widows, divorcee's--we women that live alone, or have for awhile, have to be kind of feisty, or we'd be dead by now!
Sometimes we wake up in the middle of the dark night with a bad nightmare--we gotta get through it all on our own.
We wake up in the morning, with the aches and pains of arthritis and we don't have the option of sitting all day in our chair. We have to get up, tend to our pets, do the house work, outside work--whatever needs doing.
We have health issues, sometimes scary ones. Being alone can make them even scarier. No one with us to reassure us---we push on.
We have financial issues--really scary. No one else in the house, sharing expenses. No one else to tell us, "everything is going to be okay."
Sometimes, in our moments of quiet reflection, we get angry at the way life has treated us. How come a parent was so critical of us? When we see others who had wonderful childhoods.
How come our men didn't treat us right? When we see others being treated (perhaps) way better than they ought to, because they are mean, nasty, bitches.
How come our loves died? We were so happy together. How come, when we see long time marriages where the couple can hardly stand each other.
How come?
It is as it is.
We gotta be a bit feisty or we'd fall right down on the floor and never get up!
=====================
I get angry at the way our society has become. Is my upset and anger going to help me or anyone?
No!
If I harbor unforgiveness from past hurts. Is that going to make the person I won't forgive feel bad?
No!
When I get to Heaven and the Lord questions me. He isn't going to ask me about anyone elses life. He is only going to ask me how I lived MY life.
I think I will say, "Feisty, but with a sense of humor and always a kind, loving smile."
Monday, June 29, 2015
Just Going Along.
I used to be a "go along to get along" kind of woman.
Never gave my "real" opinion unless it agreed with the person I was speaking with. Never said "no" to any request, even though I really didn't want to do it.
Differing opinions were not allowed in my childhood home and I found that out early--after a few slaps across the face from Daddy.
Then I married, one week after high school graduation, and soon found out, different opinions weren't allowed in that home either. Yet more slaps across the face.
One time, I do believe back in 1968, my husband, his sister and her hubs and I were all sitting in our living room discussing George Wallace and his campaign for President. I voiced my opinion of the man, which differed from the other three and I got yelled down into silence.
Then I married again, to a man who appeared to be very open-minded--until after the wedding. I was not allowed to watch any TV program that had blacks participating. This meant basketball, football, baseball, Oprah--nothing. The TV remote was thrown at the wall, the face slap came next.
Then, in a garden space that I was told was all mine and I could plant anything in it I wanted--after two days of planting, those plants were torn up because, "they aren't lined up right!" When I voiced my opinion that I planted them that way to differentiate from the rest of the garden, I got more than a face slap.
When I, by then realized, White Supremacist husband, started his rhetoric, I learned very soon to be quiet, or I might be chocked, slapped, beaten--whatever. You learn to be very quiet and pleasant when being held hostage by a terrorist.
Then, of course, at my job, my opinion was rarely asked. I was the secretary. I was the peon, who did all the work to keep the office running smoothly, but...that was it.
Then I was fired, because I was too old. (I was actually told that by the CFO). Did I sue? Of course not. I was scared. I probably was wrong in my opinion. He had told me in a weak moment and not testify or say I had imagined his words.
Then, I moved here and was all alone. Still not voicing any opinion about anything.
Then I met Fred who not only allowed my opinions on everything to be voiced, but was really interested in hearing what I had to say. Of course, it was easy because--we agreed on everything and...he thought I had a brilliant mind!
Then, my father died, which gave me even more freedom to voice my feelings and opinions. Then my step-mother died and no one left to tell me I was stupid in my opinions. FREE AT LAST. FREE AT LAST. THANK GOD ALMIGHTY I'M FREE AT LAST!
Then, after Fred died, and a couple of months of therapy, where I was told that it was quite all right to give voice to my feelings. Of course, not in an angry or threatening way to others, but to say what I felt IF I wanted too.
So--long ago and for many decades, I was liked by everyone! I was compliant. I was submissive. I just smiled and listened, even though in my head I was saying, "Wait. What?"
I raised my children to have independent thoughts, to express those thoughts and feelings--at least they knew they could with me, and they all seem to be much healthier, emotionally, then I ever was. As a result, I now have, Conservatives, Liberals, and whatever 3rd party is running.
I have Catholic, Methodists, Lutherans, Episcopalians and an Agnostic in the family.
I have gay and straight, pro-life, pro-choice and fence setters in my family.
I have gun owners and ones that wouldn't touch a gun, let alone have one in their home.
If I don't agree with them--it is quite all right. We voice our opinions and no one gets mad at each other--well, maybe one does, but then again, she isn't quite old enough yet to know everything she THINKS she knows.
There is something so freeing about getting old. You can be opinionated and voice those differing opinions and people just chalk it up to the fact that, you are senile and cranky. Just stop and talk to any elderly person. They've got opinions on everything! LOL
Plus, I have come to the point in my life where I don't HAVE the NEED to have everyone like me. I'm not stuck in that place I was for so many years. I can say "no", once in awhile and not feel too guilty.
Maybe it's because I'm old or maybe---could it be that I'm still the timid, "go along to get along" I used to be, but the people that ridiculed me are all dead or gone from my life? Makes it easier for sure.
(I still have to work on my Dar skills. :-) Maybe she will move and make it easier?)
Never gave my "real" opinion unless it agreed with the person I was speaking with. Never said "no" to any request, even though I really didn't want to do it.
Differing opinions were not allowed in my childhood home and I found that out early--after a few slaps across the face from Daddy.
Then I married, one week after high school graduation, and soon found out, different opinions weren't allowed in that home either. Yet more slaps across the face.
One time, I do believe back in 1968, my husband, his sister and her hubs and I were all sitting in our living room discussing George Wallace and his campaign for President. I voiced my opinion of the man, which differed from the other three and I got yelled down into silence.
Then I married again, to a man who appeared to be very open-minded--until after the wedding. I was not allowed to watch any TV program that had blacks participating. This meant basketball, football, baseball, Oprah--nothing. The TV remote was thrown at the wall, the face slap came next.
Then, in a garden space that I was told was all mine and I could plant anything in it I wanted--after two days of planting, those plants were torn up because, "they aren't lined up right!" When I voiced my opinion that I planted them that way to differentiate from the rest of the garden, I got more than a face slap.
When I, by then realized, White Supremacist husband, started his rhetoric, I learned very soon to be quiet, or I might be chocked, slapped, beaten--whatever. You learn to be very quiet and pleasant when being held hostage by a terrorist.
Then, of course, at my job, my opinion was rarely asked. I was the secretary. I was the peon, who did all the work to keep the office running smoothly, but...that was it.
Then I was fired, because I was too old. (I was actually told that by the CFO). Did I sue? Of course not. I was scared. I probably was wrong in my opinion. He had told me in a weak moment and not testify or say I had imagined his words.
Then, I moved here and was all alone. Still not voicing any opinion about anything.
Then I met Fred who not only allowed my opinions on everything to be voiced, but was really interested in hearing what I had to say. Of course, it was easy because--we agreed on everything and...he thought I had a brilliant mind!
Then, my father died, which gave me even more freedom to voice my feelings and opinions. Then my step-mother died and no one left to tell me I was stupid in my opinions. FREE AT LAST. FREE AT LAST. THANK GOD ALMIGHTY I'M FREE AT LAST!
Then, after Fred died, and a couple of months of therapy, where I was told that it was quite all right to give voice to my feelings. Of course, not in an angry or threatening way to others, but to say what I felt IF I wanted too.
So--long ago and for many decades, I was liked by everyone! I was compliant. I was submissive. I just smiled and listened, even though in my head I was saying, "Wait. What?"
I raised my children to have independent thoughts, to express those thoughts and feelings--at least they knew they could with me, and they all seem to be much healthier, emotionally, then I ever was. As a result, I now have, Conservatives, Liberals, and whatever 3rd party is running.
I have Catholic, Methodists, Lutherans, Episcopalians and an Agnostic in the family.
I have gay and straight, pro-life, pro-choice and fence setters in my family.
I have gun owners and ones that wouldn't touch a gun, let alone have one in their home.
If I don't agree with them--it is quite all right. We voice our opinions and no one gets mad at each other--well, maybe one does, but then again, she isn't quite old enough yet to know everything she THINKS she knows.
There is something so freeing about getting old. You can be opinionated and voice those differing opinions and people just chalk it up to the fact that, you are senile and cranky. Just stop and talk to any elderly person. They've got opinions on everything! LOL
Plus, I have come to the point in my life where I don't HAVE the NEED to have everyone like me. I'm not stuck in that place I was for so many years. I can say "no", once in awhile and not feel too guilty.
Maybe it's because I'm old or maybe---could it be that I'm still the timid, "go along to get along" I used to be, but the people that ridiculed me are all dead or gone from my life? Makes it easier for sure.
(I still have to work on my Dar skills. :-) Maybe she will move and make it easier?)
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