Then--There's Always Another Way To Look At Life

Now, let's see if I can turn this whole Jennifer moving into something positive.  I will attempt too.....

1.  Eric's mother has a second home on the Jersey Shore--the kids are going to love that.

2.  Eric's mother has a third home down on Florida's West Coast--the kids are going to love that.

3.  Eric's father has a large farmhouse and "farm" (10 acres) out in the country--the kids are going to love that.

4.  The kids will be able to see all the culture and fun times in New York City.

5.  Eric's father has friends in the New Jersey Mafia--always a good thing, I suppose.

6.  Eric's father is very rich and likes to take his family on all expense paid  trips all over the world.

7.  There is a lot of historical places to tour on the East Coast.  They can go visit Boston and show the kids where they were married and lived and where Jen went to Law School.  Andrew can see where he was born in Salem, MA,  and the condo they lived in until he was 9 months old.

8.  They can all learn a New Joysey accent.

9.  Eric's father has provided full paid college tuition for the kids--Andrew wants to go to MIT, so he will like that.

10.  Eric's father is old and will die--eventually, .....leaving Eric and Jen multi-millionaires, which Jennifer will love!!!

What a wonderful, advantageous opportunity this is going to be for all of them!
============================
I am NOT a paranoid person--really I'm not.  But---when a third cousin read my blog post in April of 2013 and then told my step brother-in-law, who then told Jennifer and made her think I had defamed her reputation to the WHOLE world, and I deleted my old blog and then three days later started this one, because NO ONE tells me I can't blog; I made sure it couldn't be found by any Internet search engine.

As far as my family knows, I do not have a blog.  I needed a blog!  I need to get these worries/feeling/emotions out of my head.  As soon as I have written them down, for all of you poor readers to peruse, then I feel better.  Your comments help me sort through and see things.  See where I might be wrong in my thinking or correct in my thinking.  It's like having a gab-fest with my friends.

Well--on bloglovin.com, there was a way to find my blog--if by chance you might know the name.  You just never can tell when some extremely intelligent, Internet savvy Grand Child (Andrew) might go looking.  I had followers, most I don't even know, but no one that is related to me, but if you clicked on "posts" you could read all of them from day one to today.  I have tried, with no success, to get bloglovin.com to delete my blog.

Yesterday, I sent two different e-mails to them, and had two different responses from them and this morning--TA DAH--if you go to bloglovin.com and type in this blogs' name, or my name--it says it cannot be found!  YAY!!
================================
So--back to real life here--I went to the Food Bank this morning.  I am allowed 40# pounds of food and some stuff is "free" and doesn't count toward the weight.  Like--Peanut Butter, Jelly, Detergent, Bathroom tissue, baked goods.  Well, I don't eat much PB or J, but Pammie does!  and...there is no Food Bank in the county Pammie lives in!  and....is it stealing if I get some of that stuff for Pammie?  Is it morally, ethically wrong?  If it is--then I am going to Hell.

Today, I was told that they are upping my food weight to 60#.  I told them that I didn't need that much and could they just take the extra 20# and put it on a family's allowance?  They said they couldn't do that, but, also, because I am now 75--aged and feeble, I will also get some assistance on my rent and utilities!!!!  Now--that made me smile and "thank you, God," all the way home!

Then when I got home, I got the nicest surprise!  I parked, put my purse up on the porch, opened my car trunk and then decided to go over and talk to Jackie for a couple of minutes.  About 10 minutes later, she said, "Your neighbor's are getting worried about you."

"Huh?"

"Dar walked over a few minutes ago and now she and Pearl are walking toward your house."

So--I ran out and Dar was shaking and Pearl looked worried.

Dar says, "OHMYGOD!!!  I was so worried about you!  I came over and saw your purse on the porch and thought you were inside with a dizzy spell or something.  So, I went in and looked and called your name and you didn't answer, so I went down to get Pearl's help because if you were laying on the floor or in the bathroom.....I didn't want to be alone!  I didn't know you were gone and just got home!"

Pearl said, "I saw you drive by when you came home and I figured you were okay, but maybe had to run into the bathroom real quick and left your purse on the porch.  I asked Darlene if she checked the bathroom and she said 'no', so here we are."

Dar said, "I was afraid you had passed out in the bathroom or in the shower and I didn't want to find you all by myself!"

So--Jackie and I laughed and then we all hauled my groceries into the house, sat down, and the four of us had a great hour-long chat.

Now--aren't I lucky that people care and keep an eye out to make sure I'm all right?  Of course, the four of us look out for each other too--we make a good team of friend-watchers.

It's All In God's Plan Anyway

Another beautiful day in the State of Michigan.  We have had such a wonderful summer.  In fact, I think I have turned on the furnace, to take the morning chill off, more than I have run the A/C.  Quite unusual, but a lot of unusual weather around the USA.  I am pondering on what this winter will be like.  Is it going to be another humdinger like last year?  

I set the alarm and got up this morning to go to church.  I guess there is a new movie called "Moses" coming out--kind of like the "Noah" movie and our minister is having a month long series on Moses REAL life, so we know before we go to the movie.  Well--I won't be going to the movie.  I WAS going to see Noah and then my friends that did, said it was weird and strange and not at all like the Bible story, so...................it's hard enough to read the Old Testament and figure it out--I don't need a movie confusing me more, LOL.

Anyway, my heart said I was going to church, but my body said, "Nah.", so I took a nice long bike ride around the park and down by the lake.  It was peaceful and sunny and cool (72), and I hummed a hymn as I rode along.  I do like church--once I get there--it's just the getting there that I have a problem with.

A friend posted on the last page that it was nice that I got to see Jen and that she talked to me.  Well--no she didn't--not exactly.  She didn't engage me in conversation, unless I asked her a direct question.  She was pleasant, but....she is acting strange right now, it seems to me.

I haven't really seen her in 18 months, but she seems very hyper--talking fast and a lot with arms and hand gestures.  I noticed too, at least it seemed to me, that she acts more like her kids older sister than their Mom.  Alex got stung by some ground Yellow Jackets--Karen was slathering him with baking soda, I was wiping his tears away with a cool cloth and Jen was standing there and said, "C'mon Bud--suck it up.  Remember when you broke your arm--this isn't that bad."  Perhaps, as a Grandmother, it hurt me to see him in pain, more than it would if I had been his mother--I don't know.  I was trying to remember how I reacted when one of my kids got hurt--yeah--I was probably as causal as she was.

Then something was mentioned about the middle east conflict and Andrew said, "It's all in God's plan anyway," and Jen said, "Don't start spouting that Shepherd of the Lakes Lutheran stuff!"  Andrew said, "Well, it is." and looked at me and I nodded my head "yes."

This is the church they went to and the school the kids went to for five years.  It was the "be all to end all" for five years.  The one place they poured their extra money into.  Jennifer was on the school board.  Eric played on the softball team.  They never missed a Sunday.  The same place where I had misgivings about the minister years ago.

Now--apparently, this place is not to be talked about, referred to, and if the kids learned anything about the Bible or religion there--they are supposed to forget it all?

Jennifer was brought up in the Methodist Church.  She was very active there at one time.  Then, when she was a rebellious Junior in high school, she decided to convert to the Catholic church BECAUSE, she thought it would upset me.  Her exact words, "Your church is stupid!  I am going to become Catholic!  The true church."

So--being the kind of person I am, and knowing that daughter Karen converted and is a lovely, spiritual woman, I encouraged her to be Jen's sponsor.  I was wonderful.

Eric is 2nd generation German and is not Catholic--he's not really anything.  Jennifer wanted to find a church that they both could attend comfortably and raise their children in.  She and Eric have attended five different churches in the 11 years they have lived here.  They finally settled on Shepherd of the Lakes because it had a Christian school.

They are now going sporadically to the 2/42 church up the road.  A non-denominational, Evangelical church.  I think Jen would be better served if she attended Karen's Catholic church in town and took the kids.  If Eric is uncomfortable with it, he doesn't have to go, but can attend if and when he wants.  

Anyway--Jen did not make any statements about them moving--I only heard from Pam that they looked at property last weekend and that Eric's Dad will pay for them to build a smaller house--only 5,000 square feet at $600K, instead of the million dollar 7,500 sq ft mansion they now live in and can't keep up or afford.

This is the fifth time they have talked about moving.  They have spent a month each year, in New Jersey, talking with Eric's father.  Eric doesn't want to move--I know that.  Eric doesn't want to take over his father's business because he can't work with his father and father doesn't want to go with any of Eric's newer ideas.  

Jennifer has often said she can't stand his father.  Eric's Mother and sister are Jehovah's Witness, which Jen deplores and his sister's kids are "wild brats".  They specifically moved here so that Jen's kids would grow up around Karen's kids and their good influence. 

Neither one of them can tolerate his father's wife--a much younger Asian lady he married six years ago.  However, Jen has stated that the "Will is clear on who inherits the business.  She gets a certain percentage to live on."  Seems like something like that was in my Dad's Will?

Jen and Eric and the kids went out to New Jersey in May and when they came back, Jen told Pam, "There is no way we are EVER moving out there!"

Jennifer hates her job and I don't blame her.  She worked on a case until 2:00 a.m., Thursday.  From 6:00 a.m. until 2:00 a.m. the next morning.  Those hours aren't unusual for her.  She wants to quit.  

Eric has gone as far as he can in his job.  He can't start his own Prosthetics business here because there is a two year "no compete" law with Hangar (the company he works for.  They made the prosthetic tail for the Dolphin at Sea World).  

His father has a HUGE Prosthetics business in New Jersey which covers a lot of work with hospitals in that area and New York city.    

Pam told Karen and me that either Eric is moving to New Jersey and get the kids in school out there and Jen will stay here with the Baby, or Jen is moving to New Jersey with the kids and Eric will stay here with baby Evan and Pam will still have a job until they all get moved.  Which means, I probably will never see those grand babes again--unless they come home occasionally for Christmas.

AND I AM AT THE POINT WHERE I AM ABOUT TO SAY:

because it is way out of my control!!!

  

 Karen and Mark raised five children in this house.  It cost $250K to build.  Plenty of room.  8 rooms with a finished basement.

Jennifer and Eric's house.  It cost $750K to build just a few years after Karen's was built. Plus now, there is another 1,000 square feet addition to the left.
13 rooms with a finished basement.

Tell me that Jen and Eric couldn't stay here and downsize to something they could afford!!!  Eric could keep his job and Jen could go with a smaller law firm (she has had many asked her to work for them) where she could work 9-5.

Sorry--I'm just truly upset!  

Oh well--after they move, Jen will probably communicate with me more because she will need someone to complain to about Eric's father/mother/sister/sister's kids/New Jersey/Eric's job--whatever!!

and I can sit here and worry about terrorists releasing bombs/anthrax/ricin/small pox/and/or the Atlantic flooding all of the east coast!

If I close my eyes, I can see a day--Jennifer was in Kindergarten.  She was in front of the house, waiting for the school bus.  I turn and can see it, coming down the road, a quarter mile away.  All of a sudden, she walks back toward the house.  

"Jen, what's wrong?  The bus is coming!"

"I changed my mind.  I am not going to go to school in this dress.  I want to change."

"Honey, the bus is right there.  Get back out there!"

She puts her hands on her hips..."NO!"

I wave the bus on, she comes in, goes upstairs and changes to another dress, comes back down and I drive her to school.  I did manage a nice slap to her bottom on the way passed me, but..................

I should have gotten the hint then that she was going to be a strong willed, know her own mind, "this is what I'M going to do", type of person.

Perhaps, as Andrew said, "It's all in God's plan anyway."

Pictorial of a Nice Thursday and Friday

Thursday, I went up to Byron, to the cemetery in town and then out to "our" cemetery and over to The Farm to visit my sister, Susan

(Bethie--the hanging flower basket is beautiful)
===================

On the way--a ten acre field of nothing by Sunflowers 

Our cemetery--everyone is right where they belong

except--me on this end. 

Moved the Dog Angel on Fred's stone, it gets wet under it

so every time I go out, I move it to the other side. 

Turning down the road to the farm--

acres and acres of corn. 

My gosh!  Their pond is flooding over, back into the corn field.

Very rare for this time of year. 

On the other side of the road.

This is the spot where Fred and I were going to put our new double-wide

We would have a wet driveway--still in August. 

Susan and I yakked continually for 3 hours--more her than I.  I didn't get a chance to tell her I am filing for bankruptcy.  That's okay--another time.
================================
Friday--

Madeleine's 18th birthday.  I drove on down to Karen and Mark's.  Pammie was there, and Jennifer and the littlest Grands.  A really nice time.

 It appears we are going to have ice cream!

        Karen, Moi, Pam and Jen--I don't know why Pam is scrunched down.
                        She as tall or taller than Karen and Jennifer.

 

 Elise (grand 7), Madeleine and SIL, Mark                        

Alex (grand 8), Katie, and Stephen (grand 4).  Stephen and Katie are both in the medical college at Michigan State.

Pammie making bunny ears behind Andrew--he has no clue, LOL

==========================

Jennifer's four.

Grands Elise, Alex and little Evan on Elise lap.

Grand 6: Andrew, almost 13.  If he only knew how much he looks

like his Grandpa Miller (my ex) at that age.

 =================================

Do you think Elise (10) looks up to her older cousin, Madeleine?             

Little Evan just kept saying, "Cake?  Cake?"

Look at his eyes, just dancing, and I think he has his tongue out!

I cropped the picture of me and the girls, but I wanted you to see Pammie's feet.  She rarely wears shoes and she always has on toe rings and differing ankle bracelets!  She's such a hoot!!

Throw Back Thursday

1984-1985

45 years old

I was a Sophomore in college.

Apparently the advertising department thought it was cool to put an "old lady" in with four other sophomore's for a TV, newspaper, radio commercial.

The End of the Month--Already!

Today's high temperature was: 63 degrees

A few sprinkles, but a nice day

==========================

I didn't wake up today until 11:00 a.m.--because I was still wake at 4:00 a.m. last night.  

I watched this out my front windows:

The manager Rob and Jackie discussing something.

She is not happy with new neighbors coming in.

OH LOOK!  

Do you see the dog?

GUESS WHAT? 

Another Shih tzu--just like the one who lives behind me.

I will get to have a YAPPY DOG chorus--

in stereo.

I can hardly wait!

Cutting up the sod and ready to lay foundation

for their storage shed 

Pearl called at 1:30, wanting me to come down and help her get her credit score--FICO.

I walked up at 2:00--after my SOAP and back to the computer we went.  I had her sit down and show me how she was trying to enter her account to get into creditkarma.com.  She was very frustrated.

Come to find out, she had put in her e-mail address in CAPS--which is okay, but she had entered (dot) com, instead of (dot) net and it was telling her it was an invalid e-mail address.

We got that straightened out and finally got in to the website.  She didn't want her credit REPORT, she only wanted her credit SCORE and guess what?  You have to pay $1.00 for your FICO score AND they enroll you in a 7 day trial program, that, if you don't cancel within the 7 days, they then charge your credit card $29.95.

Knowing that Pearl would never remember to cancel her subscription--I stopped her and we searched around for FREE credit places.

WELL GUESS WHAT?  NO site, not even the government site, will give you your credit SCORE for free--you gotta pay either $1.00 and a free trail, or $4.50 to get just it.  You can get all the credit REPORTS you want for free, but not your FICO.

So--after 90 minutes we gave up.

"Why do they want to charge me?  It's my score!  I should get it free.  Where can I get it free?"

"I don't know for sure."

"I'll bet the credit bureau would give it to me."

"Yes--ah no.  Credit bureau?  They are the ones trying to charge you."

"My bank?"

"Not unless you want to take out a loan."

"Well-----all I want is my number!!!"

"I tell you what.  Go up to the car dealer up the road.  Pick out a nice new car and tell the guy you want to buy it.  The business manager will take you into his office and start getting the paperwork ready.  Along the way, he will check your credit score--realize that you can't afford the new car and tell you your credit score is too low.  THEN, you ask him what it is--he will tell you, and then you say, 'we didn't want a new car anyway.'  You walk out knowing what your FICO score is.  Problem solved!"
=============================
Karen called today--we talked about her great accomplishment and she said, "Oh Mom...you know I'm not the greatest writer--I know what I want to say, but have a hard time getting it down on paper.  I almost called you to have you read the portfolio and edit it for me."

"You did a great job!!!  I like the different personal touches you added, like how you remembered some assignments that you dreaded because............"

"Yeah.  We had a seminar with the prof the other day, and he mentioned that.  How most of the other people in class just wrote, 'I did this or I did that', and I put in my feelings and what I got out of the assignments."

"Well--you posted it on FaceBook kind of late last night, so I stayed up and read the whole thing--every chapter and sub-chapter and....I thought it was fantastic!"

Then we talked about the camping trip they just got back from--to Arcadia National Park in Maine and how they hiked up (I can't remember the name of the mountain) to see the sun rise--the first place in the US that the sun hits in the morning.  Then, she told me, she wanted to do a Cathedral tour of Canada and they went to Quebec and also Montreal.  Come to find out, they visited the same place my Grandma and I visited in 1956--the summer between my junior and senior year of high school.

"Did you get to the St. Anne of Beaupre shrine?"  I asked.

"Oh yes.  It was wonderful!  Were you and great grandma there too?"

"Yes--wow, 58 years ago.  People went there for cures as they say the water is blessed--kind of like Lourdes."

"YES!"

"Did you go to the Notre Dame Basilica in Montreal?"

"Yes--it's beautiful.  Did you and great grandma go there too?"

Yep.  Grandma paid for a chauffeur driven guided tour of Montreal.  And, she got some Holy bread from the Basilica."

"I didn't know great grandma was Catholic!"

"She wasn't.  Her mother, Great Grandma Augustine was--you know that picture Aunt Susan has of the Madonna and Child?  My great Grandma, brought that over on the ship on her wedding day.  She was French and her husband was English.  My Grandma--grandma Helene was Methodist, but she still kept some of the ways her Mother probably taught her.  I know she treasured the little knots of bread that the Priest blessed.  She carried them in her purse until the day she died."

"I had no idea!"

Then, she invited me to Madeleine's 18th birthday, this Friday.  The WHOLE family of mine is coming--Jen included.
========================
Tomorrow, I am driving up to The Farm to visit baby sister Susan .  I'm also going to stop in at the Byron cemetery and visit Beth's sons' grave and then drive on out in the country to "our" cemetery to make sure all my ancestor's and Fred are okay.  

I do love cemeteries!!!

Feel The Love

Today's high temperature was: 63

50 degrees this morning when I woke up

=============================

I CAN FEEL THE LOVE FROM ALL OF YOU!!!

Yes, Pammie knows my situation.  Hers is almost as dire--especially if Jen and Eric move and Pam is out of her "Nanny" job.  Pammie is the ONLY one who knows my situation.  I am visiting my sister one day this week and I will probably tell her.

It would be helpful for Pam and I to live together--we could pool our money and it would help her pay her taxes and household expenses, but...she loves to live alone--as do I--and I think it might come down to her at the brink of losing the farm before she'd consider it.  Plus, I would hate to saddle her with the job of having to care for me if I got sick or disabled.

We shall see--it may be in The Plan and we just don't know about it.  I have always trusted God to lead me along whatever way HE wants me to go, and HE has always put me right where I need to be, so...........
===========================
Melissa--I missed church last Sunday, so I am grateful for your words of encouragement.  In fact--they did more for me this morning, than ANY sermon, LOL.  Bless you my friend!  You lift me up!!!
==================================

This was just posted on FB.  Karen has earned her Master's Degree with a 4.0 GPA!!

Karen Rivard

12 mins · 

Well, one more small assignment and my Master's will be finished. Big sigh!! Take a look at my webpage if you like.http://rivardk5.wix.com/mrsrivardportfolio

mrsrivardportfolio

RIVARDK5.WIX.COM

So Many Things On My Mind

Today's high temperature was: 64 degrees

Sweatshirt weather in July!

==========================

I am so unsettled!

Last night, I woke up at 3:00 with a horribly dry throat and the sound of a scream echoing and cats flying off the bed.  It must have been one heck of a nightmare!

I got on-line this morning and spent two hours taking the REQUIRED debt counseling "work-shop" to be able to file for bankruptcy.  Lastly, I did a live, on-line chat, with a counselor.  She was quite amazed that I have a budget all figured out in an Excel spreadsheet and that I have investigated ways to decrease that budget, like researching moving to a Government Subsidized apartment UGH, (which would cost me $10.00 less a month than staying here).

Got it all done and got my certificate.  Now--I have to do another on-line class that is only suppose to take an hour.  All fees are included in my attorney's fee.

Like... at my age, I need debt counseling?  I know what has brought me to this state--it's not from charging cruises, vacations, cars or fur coats to my credit cards.  

I am $629.00 over budget every month.  That is credit card payments.  I played the credit card transfer to a 0% for 12 months game and it worked for awhile and I got 2 cards paid off and down on the other 3, but...now that game is over, the APR  has gone up, the payments have doubled.  I have always paid early and more than the minimum.  

I HAD a FICO score of 779!!!

HAD is the operative word here.

I am on Welfare.
I go to the food bank every month.
I am going to file for bankruptcy.

I don't know what else I can do and IF--any appliance goes, or the car breaks down, or....or-----I do believe this is the source of the screaming nightmares...the What Ifs.

I have thought of moving back to my farm and living with Pammie.  It would help both of us, financially. I would be back where I most want to live, BUT, I know, Pammie doesn't want a house-mate and unless she asks---

About 8 years ago, Jen and Eric offered to build me an apartment over a third garage they were going to build.  I probably should have done it.  But what now--if they move, would I "go" with the house?  Be the "Mimi" to the new owners?

HOW THE HECK DID I GET TO THIS POINT IN MY AGED LIFE?

My family was fairly wealthy.  I was married to a GM worker with a good salary and benefits.  I worked for fifteen years.  WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?

Well--I know, but it does no good to ponder on the whys.  A lot of it IS my fault--too generous--too wanting to help (probably to gain love and affection?)

STUPID!!

It is what it is and I am going to have to live with it.
=======================

I didn't realize how tall my Rose of Sharon bushes have become.  See their flowers?  At the top of the Lilac bushes.

Everything else in the perennial garden is starting to look a little "shop worn"--not much left too bloom.

Waning days for the Star Gazer Lily

 Only one Lemon Lily left--and was gone after yesterday's storms

The Rudbeckia will bloom on until frost.
Black-Eyed Susan

 Even the annuals on the front porch planters are shabby looking.

I didn't have good luck with them last year either.

    I don't know why.

 The only thing growing like a champ is the

Purple Bean Hyacinth vine, but....

no bean pods as yet and I don't think I am going to get any. 

The only thing I did well with this year, was the Zinnias.  I planted the seeds and forgot about them until they were nearly full grown.
=======================================
A trip up to the Meijer store in Howell, for some milk and tuna fish and a small macaroni salad took care of my afternoon.  The young male clerk asked me if I smiled all the time.  I answered, "Yes."  He said, "I do too.  Some people  have asked me if I had a secret."

"That has happened to me too," I replied.  "I guess if they see us smiling for no reason, they think we are up to something."

We had a good laugh and actually...he made my day!!
The only human contact I had all day.
=======================

The footings are in.  Apparently they aren't going to pour a cement slab under the unit?  

Odd. If anyone ever has to crawl under the unit, they will be slithering around in weeds and mud!