Frustrated

When I got my second hair cut at a New (for me) salon in town, it cost $35.00.  I wondered about the discrepancy because my first cut there cost $25.00.  As I left I ask the gal at the counter about it.
'I paid $25.00 last time."
She clicked on her computer, "No last time...you paid forty-seven.  It was less this time because it was just a trim."

Well, knowing full well that I couldn't have paid forty-seven dollars for a hair cut and not remembered, when I got home, I checked my Debits from my checking account.  Sure enough, I paid twenty-five dollars.  

Okay--so it looked good for the wedding, but..........here we are, not even two weeks out and my hair is waaay too long in front.  I started feeling around my head.

The tip top of my head--the hair is one inch--which is perfect.  The hair on the crown is 2.5" and the front is over 3"!!  I have this big gray "surfer" wave going on.  It keeps wanting to fall down on my forehead/eyebrows.

Wouldn't you think that a professional stylist at an upscale salon would know how to cut short hair?  Especially after I showed her 3 photos, at different angles of how I wanted it cut?

I had another appointment with her on July 3rd--by then my hair will stick out like Bozo the Clown  the sides are getting there already.  I called and canceled that appointment and made one for this Friday at the salon I used to go to.  My stylist there, died 2+ years ago and I haven't had a decent cut since.  I am taking in photos again and "teaching" the new girl that I have gone to twice before, how to get the cut the way I want it, not the way they think it should be!

Besides she charges $17.00 and I can teach her, as we go along, I just might be happy.  My hair is about the only thing that I have pride in.  It is my best feature and I'd like to keep it that way.
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Today I went to the dentist for my 4 month cleaning.  Lately this office as been all in a dither with using the ultra-sound cleaning process.  I don't like it--half the time I feel like I'm drowning and I get so tired of that noise in my ear.  Today, the hygienist used the old way--digging and scraping.  It was so relaxing.  I enjoy have the back of my teeth scraped.  Unfortunately, she found a small cavity so I have to go back.  I just got my bill to them paid off.  Now I will have $210.00 to start paying on.  I send them $40.00 a month and like to built up a credit, but..................
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I started cleaning this house last weekend.  I tend to lay stuff on the counter tops and with this open concept plan, anyone who walks in my door, sees the clutter.  Of course my back was killing me.  I started with the bedroom and worked forward to this room.  I got it done the first day--except this office--the messiest, dustiest room in the house.  

I got that done Monday--took me over 2 hours--for one room!!!  I still have to do the windows, which if you watched the video I made last year, I have to clear off my desk, sit on it, then stand on the 4" widow ledge, brace my calves back against the desk, to take down the curtains and wash the window.  It's kind of tricky.  I am doing it Friday.
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Tomorrow is lunch with the Old School Gal Pals in a town about 50 miles from here.  Luckily it is going to be a nice day, with low humidity, which is nice as the A/C in my car only works intermittently.
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Look at this.  I've been working on it every day since January and not even half done.  The pattern is very complicated as well as the stitching.

I love these photos.
They are so representative of my Karen's beautiful heart.  Her smile never leaves.

Another really difficult month--financially.  $82.00 for new car license tabs, 'cause it's my birthday month. Six months worth of house insurance due.  I was paying by the month and think I'd better go back to that way. Why don't I put away a little  money each month to pay for these extra things?  Hey!  I would, if I could, but every month, the bottom line in my budget is red--in fact, I rejoice if it is only a bit pinkish!!

I wish I had that $20.00 back that I gave to the homeless vet.  Why did I give the next door kid five bucks for carrying in my groceries?  I should put the tags on my wedding outfit and take it back for a cash return.  Of course, I have a new bill each month in the summer--$40.00 a month for lawn mowing.

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I decided to get my car washed--needed it soooo badly.  When I drove into the entrance and they hooked my car in, it felt like it was a bit crooked.  But it went through fine--until the last, big brush.  KA-WHAP!  It yanked my driver's side mirror right off!  It was so loud, it made me jump!

I pulled back around to the entrance and told the guy what happened.  He had to shut the wash down, go in and get my mirror.  I asked,"Do I file a claim to get this repair paid for?"

He pointed to the, "We are not responsible for external mirror, antennas, blah, blah, that come of the vehicle during the wash process."

I was about ready to cry, "Could you at least give me my seven dollars back for the wash?"

He looked at me like I had two heads.

The mirror is one of those you can adjust from the inside--wires and all.  I don't need that kind of mirror.  I am perfectly capable of rolling down the window, putting my hand out and adjusting it.  What was this repair going to cost me?  In an already dark red monthly budget.

This morning I drove on down to Brighton to my service garage.  I was singing, "God Will Take Care of You" all the way in.  The guys in there have always been good to me in fixing my old car.  Using not the most expensive parts, but good enough to last years.  Kevin greeted me.  I laid the mirror on the counter.

"Ahh--I want you to pull outta here and go up three buildings to the body shop.  Ask for Ryan.  They can do it better and cheaper than we can."

So I left and drove up to the body shop.  Kevin must have called ahead because Ryan was waiting for me in the drive.  I handed him my mirror.

"I don't really need this fancy mirror.  Can you get a regular mirror from the junk yard and just put it on?"

"Come with me," he said.

He sat down at his computer and put the VIN of my car in.  Then he called a parts place.

I'm standing there thinking...two, three, four hundred?

He put some more information into his computer, looked up at me and said, "A hundred dollar bill."

All of a sudden, water started coming out of the corner of my eyes.  I was soooo embarrassed!

I never cry!  I didn't cry at the wedding.  I don't cry at funerals.  I never cry.

"I'm sorry for being so emotional.  I thought it would cost more and...I guess I'm relieved."

"That's okay,  We'll get the part and call you for an appointment.  You won't need to find a ride home because the fix will only take about thirty minutes."

So I asked for a copy of the paperwork, so in case I get stopped by a cop, I had proof I was going to get my mirror fixed.

I drove back to the service garage--Kevin was the only one at the counter.  I gave him a hug, still with tears in my eyes.  "Thank you so much!"  He got one of those "aww shucks" looks on his face.

Then I had to drive all the way up to Walmart in Howell to pick up a prescription.  Not too worried about the cost.  Probably $3.00.  The pharmacy guy handed it to me and said, "No co-pay today."

I sat in my car.  Why was there no co-pay?  There was three months ago.

I use the Walmart Savings Catcher.  I put in my receipt number, they check other stores and if a product I bought is cheaper somewhere else, they give me the difference and it goes on a card I can use the next time I shop.

I had over $22.00 on that card, but last week when I tried to use it, it showed zero balance.  So I called their Corporate office.  They don't use that card anymore.  They put the savings on your Smart Phone and you use that at check-out.

I explained that I didn't have a cell phone.  How was I going to get my savings money?  I had let it build up purposefully to use in a RED month.

The service guy didn't have any help for me.

"That doesn't seem fair," I said.  "Not every old person has a Smart Phone.  I don't."

He was sorry, but couldn't help.

I said, "I understand.  Thanks for trying to help me."  and hung up the phone.

Hours later, I noticed an e-mail from Walmart.  I thought it was a notice that my prescription was ready.  I opened it to read it and there, from the customer service guy, was a e-gift card.  All I have to do is present it at the check-out.  They will scan the code and I will get my money.

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Coincidences?  I don't think so.  I just  looked upwards and said, "Thank you, God!"

and this one will be getting married on

May 29th, next year.

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I am feeling bad about Dar.  She came over yesterday evening to talk.  Her conversation left me feeling pretty shaky.

April of 2016, her car was rear-ended by an SUV.  She still has no settlement from it.

She has many health issues since then.  Related to the accident?  Maybe.  Maybe not.  Caused by her emotional/mental issues?
Some.

She has had over a year of physical therapy.  Then, she had to have hernia surgery.  Two months ago, shoulder surgery.  

About six weeks ago, she had another AFib and had to have her heart shocked back into normal sinus rhythm.  Two days later, she had an ablation.  

Two weeks ago she started swelling up.  She gained 15# in two days!!  She has been to the Cardiologist every other day for the last two weeks, having tests, MRI's, Echo, EKG, and a heart cath.

She has been diagnosed with Pulmonary Hypertension.  The arteries in the lungs narrow and not enough blood can get through to the heart, thus raising her blood pressure--200/120.

It is also a progressive, fatal disease.  No cure, very little drugs to help maintain it.  The longest most patients live is 3 years.

It is not caused by smoking, but rather a rare genetic gene she was born with, although no one in her family has ever had it.  It will probably progress to heart failure.
===============
This really shook me up!  She's younger than I am and has always appeared so physically healthy.  

I don't know anything else to do except pray for her.

I hurt from the back of my neck to my toes.  I am not kidding!!

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I had quite a fiasco with my make-up.  I actually had to Google, which to apply first, concealer or foundation.  Strange how I could forget a process I did every day when I worked.

When I opened up the light brown, white swirly Cover Girl foundation I had last used two years ago, it was kind of dried out.  So---like any normal woman, I spit on it a little, to get it to a more moist, creamy state.

Foundation--concealer--blush--more concealer.  Big poufy brush on cake powder.  Smaller poufy brush, more blush.  More concealer.  More poufy brush powder.  Highlighter under the brow--a bit of bluish eye shadow at outside corner of eyelids.  

Mascara--the scariest part of all.  I told my right hand tremor to just hold still and brushed upwards as best I could.  I discovered in the process, that I have really short eyelashes.  Where did they go?  Another coat of mascara--let it dry.  Should I chance another coat?  Nope--not taking any more changes of sticking the mascara wand into my eye!!  A bit of lipstick on my thin, disappearing lips and a final spray with a fine mist of water--just to set everything.

Hair?  That's easy.  A run through with the brush and spray.

Susan and Chuck picked me up at 12:30.

You can tell we were born 13 years apart.  She obviously came at the end of the gene pool!  HAH!

When we got to the big Catholic church, I sought out the groom's room, and presented  his "lucky penny for his pocket", to Marcus, which also gave us a few minutes to kiss, hug and for me to give him his blessing.

6'5" grandson Stephen walking me in.

I had to whisper to slow down a bit,

he was taking such big strides.

 Our side of the family

Della, Helene& Mike, Madeleine, my ex's wife, my ex, Morgan, Marcus, Me, Karen & Mark, Susanna and Stephen

Karen & Mark and Morgan & Marcus

The back of me and Grandma Irene's head

I now have her e-mail address.

She will be moving up here this fall 

The newly constructed Rivard clan.

Stefan & Maddie, James & Susanna, Morgan & Marcus, Mark & Karen, Carolyn & Stephen

Della, Helene & Mike in the back.

Stefan & Maddie to be married a year from now.

James & Susanna, dating.  He lives in Alaska, she in Portland, OR.

Carolyn & Stephen, dating, both in pre-med at Michigan State.

Me and my girls

Jennifer, Cindy (DIL)

Moi & Karen

Missing our Pammie a whole lot!!

 My Mark & Cindy

The reception was held on the grounds of Michigan State University, in the Horticultural gardens and conservatory.

 Chuck & susan

Karen and her eldest son

the groom.

I have tons more, but this is enough.

Interesting Note: 

Marcus graduated from University of Michigan--the inside lining of his Navy jacket was Maize.  The rest of us in Marcus' family either went to, graduated from or just love Michigan State University.  Morgan and her family moved here or still live in Ohio and are huge Ohio State University fans.  This makes for interesting conversations when we get together to watch college football and basketball.  It's a good thing we are all nice people, as there never is any picking on whoever's team loses.

Our family is now comprised of Catholics, Protestants (Morgan did not convert), Jews, Agnostics.  Republicans, Democrats and Libertarians.  Again, because we are all nice people, we never argue about differences...heck, we don't even think about it.  We are family and family means (should mean) acceptance of each member.

====================== 

BTW--the bathroom at the reception was 864 steps away.  There was a blue painted line on the cement walkway, that led through green houses on each side, through the loading dock area, around passed classrooms.  864 steps!  I counted.  I made the trip 3 times.  Plus all the walking on cement parking lots and sidewalks--thus the severe back, hips, feet pain today.

Worth every bit!!!!

I'm ready

I have my schedule make for tomorrow.  Susan and Chuck are going to pick me up instead of me having to drive to their place.  12:30 is the time--to get there by 1:30 for wedding at 2:00.

I have developed a UTI which is making my small bladder even more irritated.  I hope the ceremony doesn't last very long.  I will be sitting in the front of the church and would have to stand up and leave to seek a bathroom, while everyone watches me.

I shined up my old navy blue shoes and they will work.

I have everything ready to go.

I ran the top and skirt through the dryer,

on low heat, with a dryer sheet.

Hoping to prevent static cling.

I have my purse, knee highs, two scrubbies I made for

the bride,s aunt because I heard her mention how

much she liked and needed them.

Mints, a cough drop, tissues in the purse.

The gift

An Marcus' lucky year-he-was-born

penny for his pocket.

A cool front coming through tonight promises temperature of 72 tomorrow!!
Good thing, because the reception is held in the Michigan State Horticultural gardens--conservatory.  All that glass might be a bit too warm if we had temps like we had this past week.

I will not be taking my camera, but hoping someone takes photos that I can get them to e-mail.

I have been remiss----

Over a week since I posted.  What can I say?

It's too dang hot!!!  We are not used to 94 degree temps, with 80% humidity.  Here in the Mitten State, surrounded by cool Great Lakes and many trees, we shouldn't have to endure this kind of weather.  If I wanted to sweat and feel faint all the time, I'd move to Florida!!!

While my neighbors open their windows and doors in the morning, I have my A/C on all the time.  If it is cool, it doesn't come on.  It's the humidity, you see.  To keep it comfortable inside, one must keep it dry.  To keep it dry, one must run the A/C.  I once had an HVAC guy tell me, when the A/C comes on, it will run for an hour to cool and dry the house.  Sofa's, carpets, curtains all hold the moisture and heat---it takes a long time to cool those things off.  It is cheaper to keep the A/C on than it is to try and cool everything down in the afternoon.  So, until we get that cool, less humid front
to come through tomorrow or Friday, I will keep the house shut up.  That way, my A/C comes on infrequently.

Anyway--expecting a break in the weather and for the wedding this Saturday--72 degrees and low humidity.  YAY!

I have all my gardening done.  I only have one pot of annuals.  A day after I finished, we got a good, soaking rain.

Madeleine had a ballet recital last week, that I attended.  Not only does she still dance, but now she choreographs dances and teaches two classes.  It was delightful and I got home at 8:55, just as it was getting dark.

Yesterday, I got my hair cut and my eyebrows arched.  As I was reclining in the waxing chair, I heard someone say, "MOM!"  It was Karen, there to also get her hair cut.  I thought for the wedding she was probably going to wear her hair "up", but she said, "I'm here to get this hot mop chopped off!"  What that means to Karen and what that means to me are two different things.  She probably is going to get an inch cut off.  When I say that, it means, I want it a half inch short all over my head.

Although I got it trimmed, with still a bit of length to bring my hair over the top of my ears, after the wedding--------I will go back to have it cut around my ears, and short, short on top!

I was so lucky that one of my genealogy clients had mailed me $150.00 check, as being the end of the month, I have no money.  I cashed that check, filled the car with $3.09 a gallon gas, $39.00, got my hair cut and brows waxed = $50.00,  and a couple refilled ink jets=$50.00.  I still have $$$ left to buy food, which is needed, but too hot to drive a car that A/C only works intermittently.

I have never in my life seen so many Maple tree whizzers, falling and laying on my driveway.  I have heard from sister and friends that they too have this problem.  I wonder what is causing it.  Too cold and wet an early spring?  Too hot and dry a late spring?  Whatever, in my long life, it is not a natural occurrence.

I need to sweep them off because when rain comes,

they will turn mushy and start to decay

and stain my driveway.

First Lord Baltimore comes

Then Lady Baltimore comes 

Then Lord Baltimore checks out the Hummingbird

feeder to see if the juice in there is tastier than in his feeder. 

I did write about the genealogy I am working on, right?  Trying to find the correct "blood line" surname.  

It took me days, but I finally figured it out and have gone back 12 generations.   I decided though, that because I had done research on the adoptive families, I would also enclose a pedigree of those ancestors.  I have his book done--90 pages.

Now to start his wife's book.  At first they wanted them together, but you know, nowadays with the divorce rate and all, I figured I would do separate books--one of his family, one of hers.  That way, if any unforeseen divorce happens in the coming years, they won't have to fight over who gets custody of the genealogy--although probably that worry would be the last thing on their minds.

I just have this obsessive, perfectionist thing going on with my genealogies.  I want them to be true, accurate and perfect in every detail.

After all...what else do I have to do around here, but sit at the computer and work 5 hours a day.

Oh--yes--there is laundry and cleaning that needs doing.  I can barely walk into this room for all the "stuff" that needs putting away.  Dust an inch thick in here.  I haven't washed the windows or the curtains as yet.  I have too many papers and research stuff on my desk to even think about clearing it off.

Ahhh--there will be time for that...later.

Spring Time

I have 4 Lilac bushes to the west of my house.

When I open the one living room window and my kitchen window, the scent that comes in

just about hynotizes me.  I have such wonderful childhood memories of the large

Lilac bushes my Mother had--also west of the house.  

"So the breeze from the west will blow their scent into the house." she said.

It's Spring time here!

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I made out a schedule or "to do" list or whatever you want to call it.

Monday--clean planters, arrange, plant.  Corn in raised bed by shed.  Cherry tomato in one pot, Bonny Best tomato in the other.  Large blue tub, plant cucumber to climb on trellis.

Plant annuals in 3-tiered planter.  Pull Quack grass from front garden.

Reality:  Monday, it rained all day.  Vacuumed and dusted house.  Washed bedding.

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Tuesday (today)--do Monday.

Reality:  It is going to rain most of the day.  Run to Walmart and Michael's.  Buy garden hose.

======================

Wednesday--do Monday??

I deleted the post I published on Thursday.
I had written about something/someone that if someone found out would send me back into "ignoring you" prison.
I have no people from Russia that read my blog like pal Jean does, but I just might have spies.
HAH!!

Recap

May 1st--by budget was in the red $67.00
May 3rd-I received notice that my monthly budget payment for my electricity was being lowered by $7.00 a month.
May 5th- I received a check from one of my genealogy clients to pay account in full.

MY BUDGET WAS NOW IN THE BLACK.

May 9th-the pilot light on my water heater blew out again.
May 10th-lunch with the Old School Gal Pals--cost more than I had in cash--had to use Debit card.
May 11th- service guy lit pilot light and told me I probably needed a higher exhaust flue up on the roof to keep it from blowing out every time we have a storm.  Cost estimate: $200.00
May 11th-evening, microwave oven blew up.  Made horrible noise, grinding noise, then light started flashing, sparks started flying and door popped open.  Cost estimate for new one-$50.00-$70.00

MY BUDGET IS IN THE DARK, DARK RED.

May 12th-Got Mother's Day check from Jen- $100.00--new microwave in the future, with some left over.  Also got a call from Pammie.  She is having so much fun and sounds so relaxed and happy that I could not be sad that she has moved out to NJ.

May 14th- Shoes arrived I had ordered for wedding.  So low cut on sides that my foot spreads out.  Have to return to Mall, which involves driving through two round-abouts!
May 14th-Got car license renewal from state.  Cost-gone up from $71.00 to $85.00 for my 20 year old car.

I can't wait to see what disasters await me the last half of this month!!!

Grandma's, Godsends and Goodness

Grandma Irene, the bride Morgan, Grandma Judy-the groom's grandma.

We both look like our hands are crippled.

Well, you know I was worrying about this month's budget.  I just had to put that worry out of my mind and keep thinking, "God will provide."

The next morning, I got an e-mail from my gas company.  I am on a budget plan where I pay the same amount every month--year around.  It was a notice to say that my budget payment had been lowered by $7.00.  I read it twice and then said, "Well now.  Ain't that something?"

Two days later, I opened my mail and there was a check from one of my genealogy clients.  She was paying me off by the month.  I had totally forgotten and thought she had paid in full.  There was her final payment check.  Guess what?  My budget for May is no longer in the red.

Yeah--I know, a lot of you will think, "What a nice thing for Judy.  A nice coincidence that these just happened to come when she needed them."

You can think that, it's okay, but...I know that I know that I know...

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Hey, I got a phone call from the Old Coot last night.  We talked for an hour and it was nice--kinda nice.  He stated that I was an amazing woman--generous, compassionate, forgiving.  I told him the forgiveness was selfish on my part, because things were still in my mind after all these years, made for some bad dreams and the only way to save my own sanity, was to forgive him (and others).  The thoughts went away, along with the night terrors.

Then he went on (trying) to discuss his political beliefs.  I thought perhaps he had moderated on them in the past 30 years.  Not so.  I didn't comment, just sort of "hm-mm" every now and then.  We may both belong to the same political party, but he is so far out there, that I can't agree with any of his views.  So best to direct the conversation to how he is feeling--emotionally.

The day I saw him, he was a mess.  Skinny, unshaven, emotional.  He's doing better.  Concentrating on eating better, getting lots of protein for strength and has no more grief because, "Life is for the living."  Okay.

He is still buried in paperwork and things that need doing, but also preparing his garden for planting season.  He still has a huge garden.

So we reminisced about things--I racked my brain to come up with funny memories that would make him laugh and we ended the phone call on a positive note.

He didn't offer to come down here for a visit...I didn't offer to stop in at his place for a visit.  I can see that phone calls could be nice.  I would like to be friendly.  I'd like for both of us to end our lives without rancor towards each other, or at least with me having no rancor towards him, as he has said many times lately, it was none of my fault and that he was in the midst of mental illness.

Boy!  He sure was!! I just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.  LOL

YAY! YAY! WHAT A DAY...............

...I HAD!!!
My soon to be grand daughter's bridal shower.I was kind of dreading it--you know, the figuring out what to wear--especially shoes.  I had an Alfred Dunner top of navy and tan, and tan pants, wore a pair of navy heels I had from my work days.  I knew better than to purchase that top--I've tried two other times over the last 20 years, and Alfred Dunner does not bit me right.  Too short--too boxy--looks very grandmotherly, but--hey, that is what I am.

I even managed to put make-up on!  Hell must have frozen over.  I even managed a bit of mascara with my shaky hand.  Except when Karen arrived to pick me up, she said, "I brought mascara to put on you Mom."
"I already have it on.  Doesn't it show?"
"Not really."
"Well, that's because I don't have many eyelashes left.  It's good enough."

That was my first good thing of the day.  Karen picked me up for the ride up into Lansing AND also in the car were Madeleine and Helene and little one Della Helene.  Let the fun begin.   Della started to tear up when she saw me, so I ignored her.  She just loves everyone, except her Great Grandma.

It was an odd place for a shower--a bakery called "Glazed and Confused".  Well, ya know, it's a college city so they have to be hip or clever or something.  No air conditioning, but the front and back doors open for air flow.

Graduation week there.  We had to park a block and a half away.  That is way more than the 200-400 steps I can manage.  The girls were all laden down with boxes of flowers and snacks, and baby, so I told them to go ahead and I mainly just strolled along at my own pace.  I was over half-way there, when I met the girls coming back for their second trip to unload the car.

I got in, got sat down, introduced myself to unknown people and got served a Diet Coke.  Blech!! No diet Pepsi on the premises and no iced tea.  Ice coffee, coffee and Coke products.  I got up to look at some of the photos and the bride's mother tapped me on the shoulder and said, "You must be Gramma Judy?"
"Yes.  I am glad to me you."
"I wanted to introduce you to the other Grandma, my mother, Irene."

We decided to sit together on one of the cushioned seats along the wall.  She said, "I can't sit on hard chairs anymore."

...and, therein started the magic!

As we sat heads close because we could not hear each other over the swirling conversations, we found out---we have so much in common, that, as she mentioned--"are we long lost sisters?"

For two hours we talked--many times the phrase, "I feel the same way", was uttered.  She has been married twice, widowed 6 years ago, finds that living alone is more fun that she ever thought.

We played some of the games, but not the gift Bingo, as I sat there not having filled out my card, I noticed she hadn't either.  "Aren't you going to play?"

"I hate  Bingo," she said.
"Me too!" I answered.
"How are we going to share an apartment in the Assisted Living place if neither one of us likes Bingo?"
"We'll play Backgammon."
"Oh, I love Backgammon," she said.  "I haven't played in years.  I miss it."
"Me too."

I was sitting at the end of the bench seat so it was easier for me to get up.  I asked her if she'd like some ice water or a soda.  "Do they have Diet Pepsi?" she asked.
"Nope,  Diet Coke."
"Oh, yuck.  I'm addicted to Diet Pepsi.  I hate Coke."
"Me too!"
"Put a lot of ice in it.  Maybe I can swill it down."

Then she told me that when her second husband died, it was hard.  I thought she meant loneliness, but she went on to say, "He had been married before and had four children.  They always acted like they liked me.  I was real good to their Father.  I let them make the decisions for his funeral.  He wanted to be cremated, but two of the kids lived away, so his oldest daughter wanted him embalmed, so they could see him.  He was cremated after wards.  That cost a lot more for the funeral."

By this time I was mesmerized, as this was the same as Fred and my funeral story.  I didn't say anything, just nodded my head.

"His oldest daughter and son said for me not to worry.  They would help pay for the funeral.  It never happened.  They didn't pay one single dollar."

I nodded.

"Then to top it all off, after the funeral, they came to the house and roamed around and took anything of his that they wanted.  They even went out in the shed and the boys took tools that belonged to MY son.  Then, what I really thought was odd, none of them wanted his ashes.  I paid to have him buried with his first wife!"

I nodded again and then said, "Well, let me tell you my story."

Her daughter was listening by now.

"My story is exactly the same as yours, except his oldest son took his bike from the shed--a bike I wanted to keep for myself.  And, since none of his kids wanted his ashes, I paid for a stone and buried him at the end of my own family cemetery plot."

She looked at me with her mouth open.

Her daughter said, "Mom.. it sounds like you and Judy have lived parallel lives!"
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I have never connected so quickly and completely with another woman, other than my BFF.  We both stated that it felt like we had known each other for years and years.  We sat holding hands.

When the gifts were being opened, Irene said, "I can't hear a thing they are saying and I am only ten feet away!"

"I can't either.  It's all that extraneous noise.  I guess I need a hearing aid."

"Me too."

Then I said, "I can hardly see what they are opening.  They are sitting right in front of the sun, shining in the window and it makes everything look blurry to me."

"Me too," she said.
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When we left, Karen said, "Mom, I didn't get to sit with you.  You looked like you were having fun.  Did you know that lady?"

"No.  Never met her in my life.  She's Morgan's grandma, Irene."

"You're kidding!  Every time I looked down that way, you were deep in conversation or hugging.  I thought you had probably met her before."
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Well, Irene and I can't wait for the wedding and we are figuring out how to sit together again--no matter where our place cards are, at the reception, we will just move them, because as she often said, "We are old.  We can do anything we want and we don't care what people think!"

She lives in Pittsburgh, but is planning on moving back this way to live with Morgan's parents.  They only live about three miles south-west of my sister, on a farm.  Irene and I are making plans to get together after she moves.
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After we left, we stopped in for a quick visit to my other grandson, Stephen.  He lives on the Michigan State campus so more walking from the parking lot, but I got to see his apartment and get a big hug.

We left here at 1:00, got home at 8:00.  My feet, back and hips didn't hurt a bit, but I fell asleep quickly, I was so tired.  This morning a few aches from so much walking, but oh...........so worth it.

What an awe-some day.  I still can't believe it!!

Everyday an adventure in how to exist meaningfully.....

There is much to do around here, and none of it getting done.  Curtains need washing.  Windows need washing, at least on the inside.  I will have to leave Mother Nature to do the outside with a nice rain.  Mulch needs to be put down on my garden by the porch.  I have two bags of dark mulch that I bought late last fall, that have resided in the trunk of my car all winter.  It's no big deal to haul them out and put it down.

Well, it's been too darn hot!  85 degrees yesterday, May 1st and 80+ today?  It was winter here about 10 days ago and now we have July temperatures.   Yes, yes--I know.  All my Northern friends will yell at me for complaining about the heat, but--I do not deal well with heat and humidity.  I wish it would just stay 72 degrees all summer.

I have tried to walk everyday.  It is 250 steps from the end of my driveway up to Fred's special tree.  I did it Monday with no problem, up and back.  Yesterday, I barely made 100 steps before my back and hips started feeling like there were knives embedded.  As I was walking back, my balance was so off from the pain that I looked like I was drunk.  Mind you--I've never been drunk, but I've seen drunks trying to walk and I can only assume, that is the way I looked.  Merle was raking his side lawn and he called out, "Are you okay?"  I just waved and kept on walking.  It is only 50 steps from Merle and Pearl's--I had to keep going.  Collapsed in my recliner and the pain went away.

I have come to the conclusions, that if I want to walk, I am going to have to put a recliner chair at the half-way point!!!!  Or...maybe...suck up my pride and use my fancy-smanchy walker with the seat to walk with.  I think I need the handles to hold onto because when I grocery shop, I walk about 1,500 steps around the store, but with the cart to hold onto, it doesn't seem too bad.

Later in the afternoon, I did take the cover off the outside A/C unit, filled up and hung my Hummingbird feeder and the bird feeders.  I already have my Baltimore Oriole feeder up and saw a scout stop by the other day, so they must be migrating into the area.
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Last evening I did something so out of my realm of possibilities, that it isn't funny.  I seem to have a touch of Agoraphobia again--not liking to be in enclosed areas with a lot of people.  Haven't been to church in 4 years.  Can't see well enough to drive after dark, comfortably.  I wanted to go to a seminar a friend was giving.  What if this program ran until after dark?  To heck with it.  I figured it would be another adventure.  The road was familiar, I could drive home blind, if need be.

Anyway--a Dear Friend of mine had been invited to give a presentation to the Audubon Group located about 10 miles from here.  I have known her and her husband since they were little kids--they went to school with my kids and I knew their parents.

I remember when she first picked up a camera to take photos of her beautiful gardens--she has 18 gardens.  I knew the minute I saw her first photos that she had an "eye for photography".  Then she started building natural habitats for the birds in the area.  She has since had several photos published in Birds and Blooms and other magazines.

So, she had been invited to give a presentation to this group.  It was held in the Senior Center.

Now, the people in the group are serious Birders!  They travel all around the state and even other states to find and count different birds.  They mentioned some birds I have never even heard of. I thought I heard someone mentioned a Red Bottomed Fly Sinker, but I am hard of hearing, so I may have misunderstood.

She only did the presentation on her Backyard Buddies--the birds that are in her own backyard.  It was fantastic!!!  She knocked those experienced photographers and birders off their seats, with her photo slide-show and then videos.!!  I couldn't have been prouder if I was her own Momma.

These people all have very expensive cameras and big zoom lenses that they tote around with them.  She still has a fairly simple camera, not big lenses to struggle with and yet...her photos are amazing!

So now that group is going to make plans to drive out to her home, near Byron, and spend time touring her gardens and her bird habitats.

Oh--I pulled into my driveway just as it was really too dark to drive.  Glad I made myself conquer my fears and go.

You can find her website here and view her photos.
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May 1st--yesterday, May Day--our winter has been so long that there are NO wildflowers blooming to make a pretty May Basket treat.  No violets.  No May flowers.  No Trilliums.  No May Apples.  Na Da.  But my Daffodils are blooming and Tulips ready to burst into blossom any day now, and a few pretty, bright yellow Dandelions sprinkled around the yard.

Just before I went to bed, being the first of the month, I printed out my budget.  Not a good thing to do late at night, when worries can keep me awake.

I'm $66.00 short this month.  A new bill from the CAT scan place.  Dentist bill, with another cleaning coming up next month.  Health insurance nearly doubled, even with my subsidy.  Gas for the car?  I only allow $20.00 a month for gas for my car--even if the price is near $3.00 a gallon.  It is worrisome, every month, even if the budget has a few dollars left over, but when it is in the red so much................?  Lawn mowing starts this month and that will be $40.00 a month, if I only get it mowed twice a month, and this time of year, it needs a weekly mow.  I will just have to live with longer grass, simple as that.

Plus, just this moment, I remembered--I have to get a pair of shoes and a small purse before the wedding.  Oy Vey!!! Oh my Gosh--and next month my license tabs are due--$71.00.
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Well, enough of that.  I will do the best I can and God will provide the rest.  He always has.

The United Methodist Church has had some pretty funny memes lately.  I laughed out loud over this one.

Adventures

One easy peasey trip up to Walmart to pick-up a prescription.  No other shopping needed.  I decided to take in the 3 bags I had filled with empty Pepsi 2 liter bottles.  No problem.

Except--the machine would not take my bottles.  There were 5 machines open and not a single one of them would take the bottles.  I even tried each machine twice--with two different bottles.

So, I lugged the bags down to Customer Service.  The 2 cashiers were busy, but the manager, in her bright, yellow vest, came up and asked if I needed any help.  I explained the situation to her and she replied:
"I just checked an hour ago and all five machine are working."
I said, "I just came from there and none of the five machines are working."

Then, of course because I'm old, she questioned my mental capabilities.
"Perhaps you tried to put them in too fast."
"No.  The minute I placed the bottle into the machine, the red light came on and it quit working."
"Did you put it in bottom first?"
"Yes."
"Are they bottles from another State?"
"No.  I purchased them in this store."

Now she's going to get her huff on.
"Well, I don't understand.  I personally checked and all five machines work perfectly!"

Just as I was about to raise my hand and slap that snotty face, one of the ladies behind the cash register, spoke up.

"The Pepsi rep was in yesterday.  They made some changes, but he forgot to re-calibrate the bottle return machines.  They won't take any Pepsi products."

Miss Huffy turned and walked out, headed down to the bottle return area.  The cashier said, "Here let me help you."

She dragged an empty cart over to where I was and we started counting bottles.  Then she went to the register and gave me my $4.60.

I walked down to the Pharmacy, was first in line for my script.  No other customers.  When the girl said, "Ms. Judy.  How is your day?"  I told her of the incident and all the Pharmacy staff laughed and laughed.  As I left, the one kid called, "Always a pleasure to see you Missus Miller.  You brighten our day."

Bah Humbug!!!
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I have created a problem.  I feed the squirrels and birds all year 'round.  I decided years ago to feed the squirrels separately to keep them out of the bird feeders.  Worked great.  Usually, in the spring, the squirrels would quit eating from their feeder and go off to forage for themselves.

I filled the bird feeders and dumped out what was left in the squirrel feeder.  An hour later, I looked out and there were four squirrels, covering the bird feeders, tipping them to the side and gorging themselves, while my poor Finches, Cardinals, Nuthatches, Chick-A-Dees, Blue Jays, sat in the nearby bushes watching.

Dagnabbit!!

I watch Dr. Phil once in awhile.  He is very big on enabling and how not to do it.  You don't reward bad behavior.  Apparently, I have enabled the squirrels and now, if there is no feed in their box, they will just eat from the bird seed.  

So, off I went to the Tractor Supply farm store to get more shelled corn and peanuts.

As I walked in the store, I noticed a couple of cages with baby chicks and ducks in them.  I had to stop and talk to the fuzzy, yellow baby chicks.

Just then an older man came up and said, "Just buy a dozen of them.  You'll have all the eggs and roasters ya need."

I explained. "Oh...no thanks.  I don't like to eat eggs or chicken.  I grew up on a poultry and hatchery farm and I just wanted to see the baby chicks and listen to them peeping."

I've got forty-six Guinea fowl," he said.  "I could give you a couple of them."
"Oh my gosh!  It must be noisy at your place."
"Yep.  They are noisy...and ugly."
"Well, they make good watch "dogs.  Anybody drive in and you'll know it."
"I have them because they eat ticks.  All the tall grass around the out buildings are full of ticks.  Those ugly things eat ticks, so they don't get on my other animals."

Click here to see Guinea Fowl.

I went on to get two 5# bags of shelled corn, and a bag of shelled peanuts and unshelled peanuts.  Only cost $20.00.

On my way out, there was a much older man having a sales clerk load his pick-up truck with 6 heavy bags of fertilizer.

Of course, I had to engage him in conversation.

"How you gonna unload that when you get home.  It looks pretty heavy to me."
He looked frail and had a frail voice.  I noticed his hands shaking and thought he probably had Parkinson's.

"I don't know.  I like to spread the fertilizer on my garden and then roto-till it in before I plant."
"You know...hm-mm...you could put a wheel barrow under the tail-gate and slide a bag off and wheel it out to your garden.  That would be easier than trying to carry the bags."

He looked at me like I had just discovered sliced bread.

"Well now...gol damn...that sure would work.  I could split the bag and just spread it around by the shovelfulls."
"I think that would work great!"
"Ya know...I ask my son to come over and help, but he's always so damn busy that by the time he gets to it, it's a week past planting time."
"Oh boy, I know about trying to get help from kids.  They have time for everything else except helping their parents."
"Ain't that the damn truth?"

I walked on and loaded my trunk with my supplies and as I drove away, he lifted a shaky hand and waved good-bye.
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That adventure took just about as long as the one the day before at Walmart, but it sure was a lot more fun.  I felt like I had been conversing with a couple of neighborhood farmers.  Reminded me of home.

Got the squirrel feeder filled up and now it appears, that everyone is happy and at their proper feeding stations.