Perhaps if I climbed up on my roof and started yelling about TRADITION, the news cameras would come and my kids might see me on the news and know that I am sad and angry. Most probably, the police would come and take me to the Nursing Home--which wouldn't be all that bad. At least there would be a reason why I would be alone at Thanksgiving and Christmas!
Tradition! I am big on tradition. Every Thanksgiving our entire family met on that day. Not the day before, not the day after--ON THAT DAY! There were no excuses. We KNEW we would be together ON THAT DAY! After my Mother died, I kept up the Tradition. When my kids got older and married, they would come to the house--the Grandmother's house for dinner--1:00 precisely, and then later in the afternoon, go visit their in-laws.
Christmas Eve--always at my Dad's. 7:00 pm, then changed to 4:00 pm because Karen and Mark and their kids had to leave to go to Mass with his parents. Then changed up to 1:00, so my son and his girlfriend could go to her Mom's, because her Mom always had Christmas Eve in the evening.
After Daddy died, we still kept the same tradition. At the ancestor's house where my sister now lived. We accommodated Mark and Cindy and the Catholic Rivard's. We had our Christmas Eve at noon then.
I didn't like it, but I kept my smile pasted on my face and was joyful. At least, once a year we all were together.
Now, I find out that this year my oldest grandson will be hosting Thanksgiving at his house. Near Toledo--some 100 miles away. "You could ride down with us, Mom," said Karen, "but we will be getting home late and you can't drive after dark."
My sister and her hubs are going to her son's house--some 65 miles away. I could ride up with them, but would have to drive from their house, home, in the dark.
I also have found out, Christmas Eve will be celebrated on the 23rd. Why? Because Karen's brother-in-law is coming in on Christmas Eve. So? Why does that mean we can't have our celebration on the 24th? He can join us.
Why did all of them respect my Daddy enough (or fear him) to ALWAYS, no matter what, celebrate on the 24th, but they don't worry about me, now the Matriarch of the family, to continue our tradition?
Of course, Jennifer will be no where around here. They are going to Disney World. That's fine. She wasn't here last year, even though she promised they would be. They were moving and for some reason, couldn't take 2 hours out of their day to celebrate with the rest of us.
If I didn't know it would end my life, I'd like to write a note and commit suicide somewhere between Thanksgiving and Christmas. It would take some good planning on my part because I might not be found for three weeks, but.........................fill them with guilt. Spoil their holidays for the rest of their lives. HAH!
Or--if I could afford it, not tell a single soul and book a flight on Thanksgiving day and return on December 28th. Better yet! HAH! Of course, I have my pets to worry about. I'd have to leave them in a pet hotel for that long and I know, they wouldn't like that one bit. Poor Buddy might die of loneliness, although Maggie would be okay.
I am reasonable--at face value. None of them will ever know exactly how I feel Maybe they should? Maybe I should rant and rave, like an angry, cranky, senile old woman? Would it really matter? They don't exactly include me in much of their life anyway.
Why don't I? Because all of my life I was told to be compliant. Don't make waves. Don't complain. Smile and be nice, no matter what. Which is the very same reason I ended up in terrible relationships and marriages.
I would like to be more like a Jewish/Italian/Polish mother who would voice her opinion--loudly--and yell, "WHAT do you MEAN. The day BEFORE.? The day AFTER? NO more of this STUPID talk!! We meet on THE DAY and that's ALL there is about it!"
I wonder. Do any of my older blog buddies feel they are just in the way at times? Only invited or considered when it is convenient for "them"?
Tradition, tradition! Tradition!