Past Life & Past Lives

I have never felt the presence or had a dream about my Father.  He was rather cruel to me for the first 68 years of my life.  He died 8 years ago.  I rarely even think of him.

I do have nightmares of some man trying to hit me and I wake up kicking and yelling, but I always thought those nightmares were of my second ex husband, who tried to kill me twice in the three years I was with him, and when not trying to kill me, was extremely abusive emotionally and physically.  I suppose the "unseen" man could be my Father?

I get into trouble when I have those dreams.  Two weeks ago, I bit the inside of my cheek when I had that dream--it is always the same dream.  The time before that, as I kicked out, I sent Maggie the Cat flying off the bed and on her exit, she dug her claws in deep on my shin.  I was up for an hour, trying to get the bleeding to stop.

One time, I flayed out and knocked the lamp and radio off my bedside table, another time, fell off the side of the bed, trying to get into the corner to save myself.  Down on the floor and fully awake, I had a heck of a time getting back up.  HAH.

It has been explained to me that these nightmares come from deep in the sub-conscious.  Something we have buried and don't even thing about during our normal day activities.  Then, when we get into deep sleep, our sub-conscious kicks in and brings these things up.  Usually they are from unresolved issues.  I have forgiven my Father, that's why I don't think the "unseen man" is him.  I thought I was over thinking about my second ex, but in reality, I never could find out why he treated me as he did.

He has been married 7 times to date.  I have met 4 of his exes and although he abused them emotionally, he never laid a hand on them.  Hm-mm.  Not a nice thing to say, but I just wish he'd die and I check the obits every day to see if it has happened yet.  He's 87!  How long is that awful person going to live?  Maybe when I know he is gone, the nightmares will end?
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I had an appointment at the food bank this late morning.  The shelves were quite bare.  I needed hamburger--none.  I wanted a bag of salad greens--none.  

After wards, I headed up to the Homestead.  Stopped in to see Pammie before she left for work, then on up the road and checked at my son's place--his truck was gone, then on down the road to Susan & Chuck's.

Susan has let her hair go natural and she has pure white hair--just like our Mother's father.  It is beautiful  AND  she got it cut real short.  I mean short.  Shorter than mine!  She has worn a chin-length Bob for years and years and this cut makes her look so much younger.  She is just adorable and Chuck loves it!!

I got home around 5:00 and jumped on the computer to work more on the genealogy I am doing.  The lady's father will be 103 on May 7th and I want to get his side of the family done, printed and put together so I can mail it off and she can give it to him.  

It is a really good genealogy.  In that, I mean I have traced part of his family back to when William the Conqueror was King!!  That would be in the 1066!

That takes time to get all that info, and then write it down, so I just stayed in here and did my thing.  John showed up around 7:30 and I told him I was busy and didn't have time to stop and chat.  

He'll be back tomorrow and by then, I will be ahead of the game and can stop and talk.

Now, I'm so geared up by my find that I will find it hard to sleep.  So--off to play some games on Face Book and then bed.