title explained

Onward and upward! something that you say in order to encourage someone to forget an unpleasant experience or failure and to think about the future instead and move forward.

My e-mail: jjmiller6213@comcast.net

Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Memories



This made me think of Jennifer

I have no idea. 
 I do have her address so I Googled Earth(ed) the house they are renting,
 but couldn't get a ground view of it.
Sometimes, I get real teary-eyed and desperate about it, but then,
I give it up to God, because I can't do a thing about it.

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I have a basket that hangs on the wall under my seasonal angel x-stitched pictures.  Every time Fred gave me a bouquet of roses, I'd take one rose, hang it upside down in a dark closet and after it had dried, put it in this basket.The three yellow roses he gave me on our first date--him telling me, "Yellow roses stand for friendship.  Red roses mean love," were at the front of the basket and the rest filling up the back, until that basket was filled to the brim. (On the 3rd date, he brought me a dozen red roses.)


Well, you know how it is.  You place something in your house and it is there and after awhile you don't even look at it because it is part of your house?

Yesterday, while cleaning the living room, I put up my Spring angel picture and noticed how old, dead, dusty and ugly looking that basket of roses had become.  So, trying to be logical and practical, I took the basket out to the trash can and turned it upside down.  That act made me sad, but.......only for a moment.  Let's face the cold hard truth here.  There hasn't been a new rose placed in that basket for nearly five years.  The first yellow ones were 11 years old!!  Time to go.

I stuffed a bunch of fake Tulips in the basket and each new season, when I put up the next Angel picture, I will put in new fake flowers for that season.


BUT--I still have Fred's, dirty, worn out, old sneakers in the upper shelf in my bedroom closet.  Sigh.
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Something one of my blog buddies posted about reminded me of a long ago memory.  Butterflies. 

My Mother had a thing for Monarch butterflies.  She planted Milk Weed to get them to come in near her gardens.  When she read about them gathering in Point Pelee, Ontario for their migration to Mexico, she persuaded my Dad to load up their pick-up camper and take us all there.  Mother, Daddy, Susie, my hubs, me and our three kids.

We saw millions of Monarchs hanging in the bushes and trees.  Mother was thrilled!

Mother died five months later.  

That summer, as I sat on the ground, weeding my 120' long perrenial garden, a Monarch came and lit on my left shoulder.  I sat quietly for a moment and then said, "Mother.  Is that you?"

When I got back inside the house, there was a message on the answering machine.  It was from my sister, Susie.  She lived quite a distance away from me.  I called her back and first thing she said, "You will not believe this.  I was sitting out in the sun on the patio and a Monarch butterfly came and lit on my shoulder!  I wondered if it was Mother."

"Which shoulder?" I asked.

"My right one."

Now, neither my sister or I believe in "signs" from the hereafter, nor that people who have passed on can send messages, but when I told her of my experience, almost at the same time as hers, we both said, "Hm-mm.  Maybe?"
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The Monarchs come into this link at about the 3 minute mark.








23 comments:

  1. So poignant. Your daughter. Your true love. Butterflies.

    Love you.

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  2. That's a precious story. I love what you did with the flower basket. I'd love to see the monarchs! xoxo

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  3. I lost my firstborn, and only draught when she was 31. There's just no way to tell--- about grieving, is there. She would have been 50 this Oct.1. For a long time I have grieved, but I believe in God, I know she was saved by His Son. The world is a messy place, isn't it? She always worried about losing friends who weren't interested in Jesus to be their Savior!
    Now, time has passed. I think of her all the time--but I feel she's where she wanted to be. She'd have had all that worry now, but Our Loving Father sees ahead and He knew exactly when was His perfect time. It's taken me years to see this.
    I praying day you will see God's timing in this is perfect, cause I know you know our Father, too!

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    1. My sister always has had deep faith and it served her well when Matthew died. I've always had faith too, but mine has grown deeper and I believe much stronger the last decade. There are times when I wonder why I'm still here and just want to leave this earth and see Jesus and be reunited with my Christian friends and especially Christian family members! I am ready!!

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  4. Love that you were able to throw out the dried roses. I would have probably tried to save one under a brandy glass or something. I'm too sentimental for my own good. Your tulips look great in the basket.

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    1. Ah-hh, Jean. Yes. I do have photos of every bouquet and every Sweetest Day Fred gave me a Lily plant which are all in my perennial gardens. I don't know why I can't get rid of his old sneakers--probably because they are the last shoes he stepped out of before climbing into that hospital bed for the last time. His DNA is still inside those sneakers. :-)

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  5. I like the tulips in the basket. It took you 5 years but you were ready! I had a couple things happened to me after my mom died that definitely had me wondering if she was giving me a sign that she was still with me. I think I will do a blog post about it in a few days!

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  6. I had a friend whose sister was crazy about Monarchs, when the sister died, the cemetery was full of the things. You just never know huh?

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    1. Aren't those happenings strange? I'd like to think they are signs, but...................

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  7. I like to believe we have signs from our beloved family members who have passed on, whether it is true or not it is comforting. At least that's how I feel. The tulips are beautiful, and I think Fred would have understood, Judy.

    I'm so sorry about Jennifer. That's very sad, but you always have such a good attitude, and hopefully things will change.

    xoxo

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    1. Sally, it's only been the last decade that I have learned to forgive and REALLY turn my entire life of worry/concerns/fears over to God. It is amazing how truly relaxed, peaceful and happy I feel about my past and everything that is going on now in my life. I don't know how it happened or even when, but all the abuse I had in my past life? I never think of. The present problems and worries about Mark, Pam and Jennifer, just don't seem to be in my mind all the time, like they once would have. I finally get that I am not in control about any of those things and I wake up every morning, feeling peaceful and just figure, What ever will be will be and it may be hard and it may be awful, but God will get me through all of it.

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  8. how absolutely wonderful that your dad gave your mom that beautiful experience, before she passed. i adore butterflies, i have one tattooed on my foot, purple and blue of course!!!

    your flowers are beautiful, i like the rose story!!!

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    1. I hate needles so no tattoos on this body. LOL
      My oldest grand daughter has a tiny butterfly on her ankle and she and her next in line sister, have a two-word, small tattooed phrase in Latin, on the inside of their wrists. I forgot what is says, but it's in script.

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  9. What a touching story about the yellow and red roses. I shuddered when you said you threw the dusty dried roses out. But the tulips though are so life-affirming, and your sadness passed with no regrets, so that's a sign. My Ev didn't bring me bouquets, though I did receive one red rose. When he was dying, we visited Williamsburg, VA, and there on our guest bed was a silk rose. I still have this silk rose on the dashboard of my car.

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    1. A silk rose is much easier to keep. The dried ones I had were in very bad shape!

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  10. What a beautiful post ! Between the roses and the butterflies I have tears in my eyes : )

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    1. Thanks, Debbie. I sometimes tear up when I am writing my posts.

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  11. What a beautiful post ! Between the roses and the butterflies I have tears in my eyes : )

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  12. the tulips look amazing!

    i'm not big on stuff like that but the butterfly thing is too coincidental!

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