title explained

Onward and upward! something that you say in order to encourage someone to forget an unpleasant experience or failure and to think about the future instead and move forward.

My e-mail: jjmiller6213@comcast.net

Thursday, April 6, 2017

Lesson I should have learned by now..................

.....one should not post on their blog when they are tired/depressed/having a pity party!

Sorry for the downer post yesterday.  I almost deleted it this morning, but--after all--this is my journal, so I guess it stays.
It's hard (for me) to get in the mood to spring clean when the outside weather is gray, cold, rain dripping days with 4" of snow predicted!  I have some how lost my, smile and push forward attitude.  Where it went, I have no clue.  How to get it back, seems a mystery.
The water heater repairman--expected between 12 & 4, called at 10:00.  He checked the vents and lit the pilot light.  He explained to me that these kinds of heaters are vented through the roof AND through the floor.  Any little cross breeze can poof out the pilot light.  
"So there is no way I can fix the problem?  I have no control over it?"
"Nope," he said, "It's like an act of God."

After he left, I hurried up and got my garbage out for pick-up.  Most times I set it out the night before, but it was raining and cold last night, so I decided to wait.  Luckily, they didn't come today until after 2:00.  So, for all my planning of taking it out when the weather was better, I got to haul it out in the cold, wet falling rain/snow.  I'm brilliant!!!
Put the closet back together, watched my Soap, did the last load of laundry and a full dishwasher of dishes.

Tomorrow I get to go to the dentist and on the way home, stop at Walmart for cat food, milk and something to eat.

My life is so exciting I can barely stand it!

Wednesday, April 5, 2017

Middle of the week blues--------

Trying to get winter things cleaned-up and put away.  So far--I have de-limed the humidifier and got it back in the storage box.  That's about it.  I have soooooooo much to get done before May.  Painting the porch and steps one of the biggest projects.  Cutting down Lilac bush suckers and putting some mulch on the area around the bushes--another big project.  Washing all the windows inside and swapping out my new curtains--still haven't even taken them out of the box they came in a month ago.
No hot water --AGAIN!!  I heard the water heater come on last night as I was going to bed, but ice cold this morning when I wanted a shower.  The last repairman--March 13th, put in a new thermocouple so that is not the problem.  I think it is the gas exhaust vent on top of the roof, is situated in such a way that any little breeze blows the pilot light out.  I need to get someone up there to see if that might be the problem.  Thankfully, I have appliance repair coverage through my electric company so I don't have to pay the repair guys to re-light the pilot light as I can't get down on the floor to do it anymore.  The only problem, the water heater is located behind a pull-out panel in the back of my bedroom closet.  I have to clean out the clothes, shoes and other "stuff" stored there and that is a big pain in the back!!
PT today.  She is now working on my lower back.  I don't think it is helping one bit, but my neck and shoulder ARE better from the previous manipulations.  <sigh--Arthritis is a mean thing.>
With all the increases in price of car insurance, health insurance, food prices,  my budget is back to what is was a year or so ago.  I guess I shouldn't have redone my living room and put that money away for this year.  

While I am on the budget plan for utilities, their price went up, so my budget payments did also.  I had NO idea my health insurance was going to triple or my car insurance was going to increase $30.00 a month.  It gets a bit discouraging to have to use thin Marcel toilet paper and laundry detergent that smells like oil, that I get free from the food bank.  I want to buy Charmin Extra Soft and Tide detergent.  Those are luxuries to me now.  I am really grateful that we have a food bank that I can use.  And grateful that my food assistance went up to $23.00 a month, which isn't a lot considering the price of food, but anything helps.

There are positives to being poor.  I am probably healthier than I was five years ago, when I had meat everyday, and potatoes and bread.  I am 30# lighter and that's a good thing.  I usually only get beef once a month and vegetables to go with it.  A supper of Cheerio's and milk is pretty healthy--except I like lots of sugar.  Nowadays, it doesn't take much food to fill me up and that's a good thing too.

At least I don't have to file income tax.  Nothing I receive is taxable.  HAH!!

There isn't anywhere else I could live cheaper.  Rent is $377.00 and includes garbage pick-up and water.  I checked into government housing--egads those apartments are tiny, and it would cost me just about the same as living here.  I can't bear the thought of having to live in an apartment, with windows only on one side of the place, one bedroom.  I so love it here.

No more buying anything that isn't absolutely necessary for me to live.  

Sorry for the downer there.  I know that something will come along to help.  It always does.  
I'm worried too about my Pammie.  She is working a school custodial job at night.  She isn't suppose to be doing that kind of work.  She has two missing vertebrae in her spine.  She has had all the X-rays, CAT scans, MRI's that prove she can't do this kind of work, but every desk job pays way less than this job.  Every specialist she has seen told her to get disability, but here, you have to be out of work for a couple of years before the government will give it to you.  How can she do that?  Make no money for two years?

She keeps her thermostat at 50 degrees all winter long and lives in her bedroom where she has a small electric heater.  I wish I could help her in some way.  She is such a wonderful person.  Always doing as much as she can for others.  

It would be beneficial for her if I moved in with her and gave her my Social Security check every month.  But, neither one of us really wants to do that.  I told her I would if it ever came down to where she couldn't make it on her own.  I at one time, wanted desperately to move back to my growing up area, but now, I know that now and as I age, I need to be close to grocery stores, the food bank, doctor and hospital.  If I moved out there, I would have to change doctor's and dentist to a closer town.  Plus, it takes an ambulance 45 minutes to respond and the nearest hospital is 30 miles away.

What to do, what to do?  Life gets very hard at times.  I never realized that until a decade or so ago.  We become too soon old and too late smart!!!!  I never should have gotten divorced!!!
Oh well--what can I think of that's positive?  We are expecting 4.5 inches of snow tonight and tomorrow--I don't have to go anywhere tomorrow.  Baseball is starting Friday, so I can enjoy watching that.  This weekend the temperatures are supposed to be in the high 60's and next Thursday, I can go to my Old School Gal Pals lunch and after wards, visit my little sister and travel the roads back home.  Stop at the Cemetery and see how things look around the graves and have a chat with Fred.

My colonoscopy was clear, as well as my lung scan, so no worries about that.  Thank goodness.

It could be much worse.  While, I can't control prices of anything and I can't control the money coming in, which puts me in the red every month. 

 BUT==everything is going to be okay.  

I know it is!!!!!!!!!!!!  I know God will help me---somehow.  He always has!!!

Monday, April 3, 2017


I drove down to Karen and Mark's yesterday morning, to ride down to the baptism with them.  All my grand kids were home for the event.  My grand girl from Oregon was to be the God Mother.

We went to Mass first, at St. John the Baptist Catholic Church.  They claim it as an historic church, but I noticed it's date was 1932, and, personally?  I don't call that historic.  Maybe it was historic for something else?

There we all sat--taking up one whole pew.  Karen, Me, Grand daughter Helene and baby Della, Mark, Maddie, Marcus and his GF Morgan, Steven and his GF Caroline.  The pew thinned out when they went up for communion--leaving Morgan, Caroline and me.

Back to Helene's for breakfast.  

Her hubs Mike was home preparing the meal.  Then Maddie's boyfriend arrived, Stefan Von Bulow.  German!!  YAY!! and Catholic.  He and Maddie were in the same home school group when they were tiny tots and somehow have found each other again, in their 20th year.  

I got a tiny bit of time with Della.  She cries every time I hold her face-to-face, so I hold her looking out, and we get along quite well.

Back to the church for the baptism.   

The Jewish grandma was there, as well as the Jewish grandpa and his wife.  Son-in-law Mark's parents were also there.  They had driven down from way up north, and his mother kept telling everyone and complaining about the long ride for a "thirty minute deal".  She is a piece of work and I would like to kindly tell her that 77 year old women don't look good in ink-black hair dye, but I keep those thoughts to myself.

We all went up, behind the altar, to the baptismal font.  I thought the priest did an excellent inter-denominational baptism.

He invoked Jewish scripture and blessed the Daddy.  Then blessed Della with oil on her forehead, eyes, ears and heart.  Blessed the Momma, invoked the responsibilities on the God Parents, Aunt Susanna and Uncle Marcus and then took Della over to the font and used the little spoon to pour water over her head.  Not a peep out of her, so I guess she liked it.  Then the Lord's Prayer, which in the Catholic church ends a few words short of the Protestant version and I forgot and mumbled three extra words before I remembered to stop.

I noticed that the baptismal area was a quite large marble enclosed pool with steps.  So after wards, I asked the priest if they do full immersions.  I supposed for adult conversions/baptisms?

He replied, "Yep.  We dunk 'em here.  Children and adults."
I said, "Ah.  Like the name of your church--John the Baptist.  He dunked 'em too."
"Yes he did.  He dunked a lot of them"
"One in particular, that was most important." I replied.
"Yes.  The very best!"
"Amen, Father.  Amen."  I said.

 Grandson Stephen and GF Caroline had to get back up to Michigan State to study for a big exam today.  The study of the liver.  Stephen was impressed when I mentioned, "Ah.  You're studying Hepatology now?"

Everyone else went back to Helene and Mike's place for a light supper, so I rode back to Karen and Mark's with Stephen and Caroline.  We had a great conversation on health care, sports, and medical specialities.  

I thanked them for the ride, hugged and kissed and jumped into my car and was home by 4:30--exhausted!!

It was a lovely day in that I got to see all of my older grand kids, meet their new love interests and observe the Darling Della.  

Thursday, March 30, 2017

I'm Fine!!!

The worst part of that prep was 3:00am this morning when I had to drink the other bottle of the Suprep.  I mixed it with ice cold Crystal Light Lemonade--which I will never be able to drink again.  I held my breath, and breathed through my mouth for several minutes--followed by water.  But--I was "running clear" as they call it by 6:00 and did get a nap in before Pammie arrived.

We had to drive down the traffic laden expressway in a continual downpour, but found the place and the correct entrance before 9:00.  The worst part of the next phase was the needle in my hand, but I had to have it so I could get the Michael Jackson Special--the Milk of Dreams--Propofol!  I love that stuff!!!

I don't remember it, but the recovery room nurse said I was singing, Jesus Loves Me, while I was waking up.  Pammie was soon sitting right there beside.

The doc removed an internal hemorrhoid I got when Jennifer was born, I wanted the doc to put it in some formaldehyde so I could give it to Jen for her 46th birthday, but he said he had to send it in.   Then he stated, "Considering you have never had a colon-oscopy before, you are in great health for someone your age."  Why do they have to put those last three words on every report I get?  I guess he expected to find polyps?

So, I go back in five years.  As if that is ever going to happen.  LOL.  I'm glad I got it done though.  Along with the lung CT scan, now I know another hidden area in my body is healthy and happy.

We got there at 9:00, my procedure was at 10:00 and Pammie and I were on our way home at 11:09.

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

MIsh Mash of emotions..........

My little sister's 65th birthday--- 

I never thought I'd live long enough to see her this old!
My best friend's 5th year sadiversary.

68 years we held each other up--

Bethie and I visited her in the hospital hospice
our last time--4 days before she died.

I never thought I'd outlive her.  She fought that evil demon ovarian cancer, for four years, with grace and positiveness, even through her husband's illness and death.  She put all of us in awe with her happy spirit.
Toward the end, she told her family, "Take care of Jude.  This is going to hit her hard."

and it did--------

I still miss her--more than anyone.

Today, I am to eat light as I prepare for the dreaded COLONOSCOPY PREP day tomorrow.  I fear tomorrow evening/night more than I have feared anything in a very long time!!!

Sunday, March 26, 2017

Thursday, March 23, 2017

Questions and Answers

If any of you or if you know of anyone, who would like their genealogy done, please e-mail me with a mailing address and I will send you a brochure that explains pricing and all that will be included in the finished book.  I will even waive the usual $100.00 deposit I normally require.  We can even set up a payment plan so you don't have to pay for it all at once.  I need the work and something to occupy my brain.  

Most genealogists will send you pages that look like this and leave it for you to figure out:

My pedigree pages show each individual, then I add pages that show the other family members information and other pages that show the written story of the direct ancestors.  Plus any photos you want added or ones I find, plus--much more. Each book is about 100+ pages with a real nice front and back cover and printed on acid free, archival paper.  They also make nice gifts for family members.

Someone, I think Deb, asked how far along I was with the cross stitched baby quilt.

What with the basketball tournament continuing until April and then baseball games starting--I should have it finished by the 1st of May.
PT went very well today.  I have been asking, the last couple of weeks, if my therapist could do the traction machine on my neck.

Finally today, because I still have numbness in my arms and hands, she relented.  She got me adjusted in the head contraption and started it.  OMGosh!  It felt soooooooo good to have my neck stretched up, held for a few minutes, then released and repeat, and repeat, and repeat.  I could almost feel the vertebrae opening up and letting the nerves flow.

My therapist doesn't like to use the kind of "tools" I have had other therapists use with good results.  She prefers manipulations, with her hands which are extremely painful.

She said that we will do the traction each visit from now on.  YAY!!! Anytime I have had PT on my neck, traction is the only thing that gave me really good results!

She had an intern there who is 19 years old.  We had a great conservation about woman's lib, and politics and religion.  My therapist is almost 30, so her mother would be in her 50's.  I told her we needed her mother to join us next time to get a perspective on how it was when she was growing up.  Then we'd have an old woman, one my daughter's age, the therapist my grand daughter's age and the intern, a younger grand daughter.

We agreed on most of the religion and woman's lib stuff.  They are both Liberals, but calm, moderate Liberals, so we all agreed in most part on politics.    I sure got my money's worth today and stirred up my brain.  I loved it.

I would truly enjoy being in a conversation/discussion group---with people younger than me.  When I tried the Senior Citizen group, those people are way too old for me--as are my School chums luncheon group.

They don't want to explore philosophies, or anything interesting.  They mostly just complain about their husbands, and moan about their illnesses.

I do like interacting with younger's and I need the stimulation to keep my brain from dying out.  LOL
This little Princess is 13 years old today.

 and nearly as tall as Gramma.  My New Jersey girl, Elise Ann.