title explained

Onward and upward! something that you say in order to encourage someone to forget an unpleasant experience or failure and to think about the future instead and move forward.

My e-mail: jjmiller6213@comcast.net

Monday, April 27, 2015

Hip Hip Hooray!

I can't explain how great I feel today!

I think I found the one new med that was causing all my problems.  Didn't take it yesterday and today, I have not been wobbley or disoriented and only a bit dizzy and I know that is from the water pill.

I researched that new med--Clonidine.  It helps lower BP, but it is also used for ADHD, anxiety, to help people stop addictions, etc.  So, it is also an anti-psychotic med and I sure as heck don't need that.  I recognized my symptoms because they were exactly like the ones I had when a doc put me on Seroquil and Effexor and when I tried Chantix years ago.  I was falling down, having mini seizures.

I already take an anti-depressant, anti-anxiety med, I sure didn't need another one messing up my head.

My BP has been so good today--in the 130-140 ranges with diastolic in the mid 50's.  While my pulse rate is still in the 40's low 50's--it's been that way for two years now.

You should see the report I have kept and giving to the doc.  He will see exactly every med I took, when I took it, my BP every 4 hours and what I felt like each day.

I'm a good guinea pig!!!
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Dar was over today and I did not take my BP after she left because I was scared it would be way high.

She walked in and said, "Are you all right?"

I said, "No!"

and she said, "Me either.  I went over to tell my brother and sister-in-law goodbye, but they had left at 7:00 this morning.  My other sister-in-law told me that they said they were going to leave before I got there because they were afraid I'd get hysterical.  Well, I got hysterical all right, but it was because I didn't get to say good-bye.  Daddy is leaving on the 13th, my birthday and then...I will be all alone."

"Sorry."

"I just don't think I am going to be able to take it!!!"

"Good thing you have a job to keep you occupied."

...and the rest was all about her.  She didn't come over to check on me.  She came over to dump on me.  Once again--


but--I don't care.  I watched my soap, did the laundry and worked on my How To book the rest of the afternoon.

Then I watched an hour of the riots in Baltimore.  I swear those people act like ignorant savages.  They don't fear the authorities anymore and the cops are so scared of being sued, they don't do their jobs.

30 years ago, while visiting a friend in Baltimore, I saw how unreasonable the police could be to blacks--because I was with one, in a group of blacks that weren't doing a thing.  Now, they've killed this kid because they arrested him for "making eye contact" with them?  Similar to what it was like 30 years ago, so I know t his police brutality has gone on there for a long time.

But now, these damn black kids think they are entitled to loot and steal and burn and throw rocks at the cops?

Turn a water cannon on them!  Shoot them with rubber bullets.  Make them a bit scared so they will think next time.

This is a no win situation in our country and I place the blame for it squarely on the person who lives in the White House.  He has empowered them to think they can get away with this crap--telling them, "that boy could have been my son" and Sharpton and all the rest of the race baiters!

Dear Dr. King, God bless him,  must be spinning in his grave!!!

Sunday, April 26, 2015

Hello!

Toughest six days I've had in a long time.  BUT--I think I am finally settling in and I feel much better today.  I have switched around the new meds--like taking one at a different time of day, and splitting one in half and taking 1/2 at 8:00 and the other 1/2 at noon.  Yes--self diagnosing and medicating, but I have researched these meds and I am doing the same thing the doc would do.

My blood pressure is reasonable now..and my pulse rate has stabilized into the 40's range, which is still too low, but I can live with it.

I kid you not--I've have been through some interesting things.  Not only dizziness, and a mild seizure thingie, but hallucinations and hearing voices.  Really.

Friday, I came out of the bathroom and headed to my chair.  About half-way there, I thought I was going to pass out.  When I got to the chair, I put my hand on the arm and sat down on the box next too it.  I looked at the chair and couldn't remember exactly what it was or how to get on it.  Scary--thought I had had a T.I.A.

I was sitting in this computer room and saw a bright red, blue and yellow plastic ball rolling down the street out in front.  I stood up to get a better look and there was no ball there.  Another time I saw a man walking down the street in front, but when I looked out the window, there was no one.

I tried to heat up a bowl of Chili in the microwave and couldn't remember how.  I decided to put it back in the refrigerator, but later when I went to get it to try again, it wasn't in the frig.  I thought maybe I had eaten it after all, but I started opening cupboards and the stove and...found it on the top rack in the dishwasher!

I thought I had had a stroke or Alzheimer's had set in fast!!

I canceled all my appointments for two weeks, because I certainly can't drive.  I will go into the doc's office on Tuesday morning to get blood drawn to see how my Potassium level is,  I have a regular appointment with him on May 7th, hope to have this figured out by then.

Sorry I couldn't post much as my eyes were very blurry and I couldn't remember some words.
======================

I am feeling better and today, went outside and looked at all my gardens and set up my porch railing planters to get ready to plant in a couple of weeks.

I did get something accomplished, as I have mostly sat in my recliner for the past week.  I got my fifth quilt done to go into the great grandbabies box of quilts.







I think I need a new crochet project--kind of tired of cross stitching.

Thursday, April 23, 2015

What?

My blood pressure is down, but the new meds are making me wonder--who am I and where am I?

Such a disoriented feeling in my head.  I stagger when I walk.  

I get up take my blood pressure, take my meds and go back to bed for an hour.

I get up, take my blood pressure, eat, watch my soap and take a nap for an hour.

I wake up, take my blood pressure, stare out the window, eat, watch TV, take my meds, go to bed.

BUT--my blood pressure IS down.

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Action Plan

So the doc comes in, after having looked at the reports I had left for him yesterday and said,  "I really appreciated these reports and suggestions.  I want you to keep recording your blood pressure for the next two weeks.  Three times a day, just as you have been doing."

"Okay."

"I have thought about this a lot.  It is going to be tricky to keep your blood pressure low and yet keep your pulse rate up."

So, he took me off two meds I have been on for years, put me on two new ones and double the Lasix.

We shall see, I go back in two weeks.  

I have tons of bottles of new meds and old meds, tried and stopped.  So if any of you want drugs, just let me know.  They won't make you high, but they will make you dizzy---if that floats your boat, LOL.

I no sooner got home and Wal-Mart called that my new prescriptions were ready, so back up I went.  Got some milk and English muffins.  Thankfully I had a Wal-Mart GC from my adopted daughter.  I was suppose to use it to buy myself a bouquet, but it paid for my prescriptions.

I now have $2.00 in my billfold, $10.50 in my checking account and $11.00 on my food card.  I should be good for the rest of the month.

Life sure can be interesting at times!

Monday, April 20, 2015

Egads and Little Fish Hooks!!!

Cold and rainy today with a bitter wind.  Kind of matches my mood.

To the doc's office early to get a blood draw.  A different nurse and she can't seem to find a good vein and have I mentioned?  I HATE NEEDLES!!!

I left a report for the doc to look at before I go back, late tomorrow afternoon.  A list of the meds I was on when the AFib hit and a list of the ones I am on now.  Also a list of my BP three times a day--that oughta scare him, I know it sure does me.  Questions and suggestions we might try to lower the BP again and in large letters:  WE NEED TO COME UP WITH AN ACTION PLAN!

The lowest my BP has been all week was 179/58.  Did you know if you have a high number that the bottom number should be higher too?  With the bottom number low, it is not a good thing.  With 179 Systolic, I should be in at least the 70's, diastolic.  

I went back to taking 30 mg of my BP med, twice a day, like I was on before, as the 20mg wasn't doing a thing.  Unfortunately, neither is the 30mg.  

Last night, my BP was 213/79--this morning 197/62.  Pulse rate: 48.  THIS IS NOT GOOD!!
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Dar came over at 11:00, just as I was trying to relax in my recliner and maybe catch a tiny nap.  

"I got the glider chair."

"Cool.  What is a glider chair and why did you get one?"

"It was my Dad's.  Pat and my brother are moving next week and they sent Dad's chair home with me."

"Okay."

"I am really feeling forsaken."

"Why?"

"Well, Pat and my brother are moving to Arizona and Dad will be flying out to get a new place next month and....I'm going to be all alone."

"Your brother Mike and his wife are still here."

"I don't like her."

"Oh."

"I feel like I'm not good enough and that is why everyone is moving away from me."

"Oh good grief!  They are moving because your brother wants to live in Arizona and so does your Dad.  That's the only reason."

"It doesn't feel that way to me."

"Good thing you have a job or you'd drive yourself crazy."

"I think that is the only thing that will save me."

"I think YOU think too much!"

"I'm going to go get my hair cut at one today."

"That will make you feel better.  I'm going to have to cut this short.  I'm not feeling well and I wanted to catch a little nap."

"Oh...okay."
<not so much as a question on why I didn't feel well--cause you know--IT'S ALL ABOUT HER!>
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Off to the Chiropractor at 2:00.  My neck feels better anyway

Got a Subway with my gift card, on the way home.

Hopefully tomorrow brings some sort of explanation of the BP and how to fix it!!!

Sunday, April 19, 2015

Illegal Aliens?


 Karen Rivard Our van had just arrived to Madeleine's house in Guatemala. I was so excited to see her I couldn't even wait for them to open the door. I grabbed her sweet face right through the window!



Karen, Madeleine and Susanna, in the 
tropical rainforest.

In order to stay another three months, Madeleine and her friend Emma had to cross over into Mexico and stay a day.  Then they could get their Visas renewed and cross back into Guatemala.  They had to pay the guys $50.00 to take them across the river separating the two countries.



Friday, April 17, 2015

ARGGH!

188/723--last night when I went to bed.

165/75--an hour ago.

I hate this!  There is a wive's tale about not worrying about the top number on the BP, but it worries me.  I continue with the Doc's experiment, even though I know if I increased my BP med, it would straighten out.  I USED to take 25 mg of Lisinopril, twice a day.  I was down-graded to 20mg twice a day in the hospital.  I just KNOW the doc will increase it back up to 25 next Tuesday when I see him.  

I have to get a blood draw Monday 9:30am, so he will have the results of the test when I go in Tuesday at 2:30.  You know how I HATE blood draws--I get so nervous and jumpy when I see that dang needle.  I DO NOT have White Coat Syndrome--my BP at his office is usually 126/68.  AND the dang Lasix is giving me the dizzies.  I never met a water pill that didn't make me dizzy.

You know what is weird?  Dar and I have the same thing=AFib,  She goes to my Doc now.  We are basically on the same meds, but she has to be careful about low Sodium and I have to be careful about low Potassium.  

Just my luck--we'll probably go down at the same time and be in hospital at the same time--no doubt the same room!  My worst case scenario!!!
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Anyway--yesterday I drove on up to the hometown and joined my friends at the High School Cafeteria for their monthly Senior Citizen lunch.  We had a good meal and it was nice to see people I haven't seen in years.  Some of them look the worse for wear--I tell you.  Younger than me and not looking good.  Scary!  

Then I went out to The Farm to drop some stuff off for my sister and they were not home.  I found out later, we passed each other on the road as I was coming home to Howell and they were leaving Howell to go home.  HAH!

Today--I work outside even if it kills me!!!  Dar tells me the harder I work, the lower my BP will go.

WHAT?