title explained

Onward and upward! something that you say in order to encourage someone to forget an unpleasant experience or failure and to think about the future instead and move forward.

My e-mail: jjmiller6213@comcast.net

Friday, June 10, 2016

SpookyThings and Oddities, oh...and Dar Too.

Have you ever had a really, unexplainable coincidence, that was so spooky it gave you goose bumps?

Yesterday morning, John called just as I was getting into the shower.  He said he'd wait 45 minutes to take Maizey for her walk.  That would make it a bit late in the morning for their visit, but at least I would be dressed and ready for the day.

He stopped in and I was so glad to see Maizey.  She has been poorly lately and he and I both, expect one of these days soon, Maizey will be saying, "Nite Nite" for the last time.

He had just sat down to talk and there was a knock at my door.  I was expecting it to be Dar, so when I opened the door, it took me a few seconds to recognize a woman I started Kindergarten with and went all through school with.  I hadn't seen her in three years.  We squealed and hugged and squealed some more.  She was on her way to lunch with her daughter's and only had about 15 minutes.

I introduced her and John.  I just happened to mention that John grew up in Munising. (that's in our Upper Peninsula--many miles from here)

Janet said, "I have friends in Munising.  Do you know Bob and Jean Porter?"

John said, "Yes.  Bob was my neighbor.  We went to school together."

OH.  MY.  GOSH.

They started tossing out names of mutual friends--sometimes each having a hard time bringing the names up from their memory bank.  I just sorta stood back and watched.

Then Janet said, "Do you remember Pee Wee?  He worked with my husband Jack at Howell Metal."

John said, "Pee Wee?  Yeah.  I worked at Howell Metal too.  You don't mean Jack Sear do you?  Is he your husband?  I worked with him too!"

Then the light slowly started to dawn.  

John said, "Janet.  Are you Janet Sear?"

Janet said, "Yes.  What's your last name."

John told her and then the hugs came.

John turned to me and said, "My ex wife and I went to a party at their house.  Way out in the boonies."

I said, "I lived just a half-mile west from Janet and Jack's."

Then John looked back and forth at Janet and me and said, "You two girls have known each other...how long."

Janet said, "First day of Kindergarten."

I replied, "Seventy-two years."

Then Janet said, "but she's older than I am.....by two weeks."

We three stood there and looked at each other.  I said, "What a spooky coincidence.  John if you had come by earlier, you would have missed Janet."

Janet said, "I was 15 minutes early and just decided to swing in and see if I could find where you live."

John said, "I think God arranged this.  There is no other explanation."  Janet and I nodded our heads.

What a fantastic happening!  Janet also knows Merle and Pearl.  They lived across the road from one another at one time.  Janet said, "Next time I come this way, I'll stop and you and I will go and surprise Pearl!"

"She lives two houses up, in the gray house.  You'll see it on your way out."
=============================

I had my 6th month "meet and greet" with my doctor yesterday afternoon.  He was out so I got to see his PA--whom I like better than him.

She walked into the room and the first words out of her mouth were, "Holy Shit!"

I was so shocked I said, "WHAT?"  I really never expected that kind of talk from her!

"Your blood work is amazing!  I have never seen anything like it from a person your age!"

"Yeah...doc told me in January that my blood tests were like that of a fifty year old."

"I'm a fifty year old and mine aren't this good! 

She waggled the report at me and said, "This report is like someone in their thirties!"

She lays the stethoscope on my chest, "You've got the heart of an athlete.  Strong, steady and slow.  Do you exercise a lot?"

"Never."

"You must walk a lot then?"

"Nope.  The only time I walk is when I go to Walmart, grocery shopping."

Then she put the stethoscope on each side of my neck to check my carotid arteries.  "You don't have a bit of plaque!  Do you eat a healthy died?"

"Nope".

Then she checked all over my back and had me hold my breath and then cough really hard.  "Lungs are clear and good.  No rales, no wheezes.  You stopped smoking years ago, right?"

"Nope."

Then she looked at the blood work report again.  "Your kidney and liver function is perfect!  Do you drink a lot of water?"

"Nope.  I drink a lot of Diet Pepsi though."

"How often do you drink alcohol?"

"Never."

"I don't mean like a glass of wine once in awhile, I mean like a cocktail."

"I don't ever drink alcohol.  I never have."

She stepped back and leaned against the little sink in the corner of the room.  Crossed her arms and said, "I can honestly tell you.  I have NEVER met anyone who doesn't drink a little alcohol once in awhile.  Even my minister has a little wine every now and then."

"Well, here I am!"

She shook her head and said, "Okay.  We're done here."

I stood up, she looked up at me, "I'll bet you don't have osteoporosis either, do you?"

"Nope.  I do have arthritis though."

"Well...at least that's something!"

"Okay", I said.  "I'll see you in six months?"

"How about six years!"
===========================
It has taken me three years to get my doc to lengthen my check-up out to six months.  Because of my AGE--he thinks I should come in every four months.  I always bargained with him and went in every five months.  Then in January he said I could come in every six months.  I think.....if I am feeling well, I just might take it out to a year!!

<or, I could drop dead of pancreatic cancer by September.  We just never know.>
==================
I barely walked in the door when I got home and there was Dar, coming in behind me.

EGADS and LITTLE FISH HOOKS!!!

She had been back to see her "special" medical physical therapist and she wanted to tell me all about it.  She WILL have to have an EMG--the doc said there was no other way to tell what nerves are causing the numbness in her arms.  

She went into a rant about the fact that she told her son and his kids to GET OUT by the end of the month, and he still hasn't started looking for a place to rent.

"Why should he?"  I asked.  "He's got it made at your place."

"Well, he HAS to leave.  I can't stand them anymore.  I wanted Daddy to come live with me and he wants to, so........................".

"You don't think your Dad would drive you nuts after awhile too?"

"I am rethinking that.  We just found out he has an aortic aneurysm.  It's at 4.  I don't want it to rupture and him bleed all over the place and die if he's living with me!"

"Oh my Gosh, Dar.  That's very serious!"

"I know.  He's going in to a vascular specialist next week.  They are going to do an Echo on him to see just how big it is and if they will operate."

"That's a very serious operation, especially at his age."

"Well, we are going to have a birthday party for him on the nineteenth, for his ninety-fifth birthday and Father's Day."

"Gosh.  I'm sorry."

"I invited him to come live with me and now...I don't know how to get out of it."
<because it is ALWAYS all about Dar>
===================

Have a great weekend!  It is supposed to be hot and steamy with some bad storms around here on Saturday.  I think I will stay hunkered down inside with the A/C on and work on putting the genealogy book together.

Later--------




  





Wednesday, June 8, 2016

Family Tree Book

In regards of how I do a genealogy book,  the image below is how most family trees look.



I think that is way too confusing.
==================

My family group pages look like this:



Plus a bit of a background story, if there is one.


Plus a separate page showing, more clearly the information:




On this page would also be photos of the person, stories, proof of their military service, obituaries, photos of their gravestones, anything I can find on them.




Plus a separate page that I make on Excel with the pedigree.  Sometimes these Pedigrees go back 25-30 generations.  I print them out.  Cut and paste them together and have the print shop, copy them onto architect paper which is 11 x whatever length necessary.  It has to be 11" on the left side to be punched and fit in the book.  I then fold them up, inside the book, so the person can unfold them to whatever length they may be.




When I have all the information I can glean, I make a Word document, in story form.  I start with the person's father and work from his oldest ancestor DOWN.  At times the wives have an interesting lineage, so I include their pedigrees and stories of their ancestor's too.  Trying to keep all this information in a cohesive, understandable format can be challenging.

Then, I start the second section of the book with the person's mother and work my way UP through her lineage.

Most of the books end up being 100 pages or more.  I use nice sturdy matte paper ($41.00 for a box of 150 sheets) to print it out, then have it "combed" (punched) by the print shop with a nice clear cover, showing a family tree and a sturdy back cover, on a heavy duty coil for the spine.  This keeps the pages from tearing out and the pages lay flat for easy reading.




Sometimes these books take two or three months to do.  The research is what takes the longest.  There are so many places to look for whatever I can find.  I love the writing and creating the book part the most!

While I am writing the story, I am thinking of all these many ancestor's--hundred and hundreds of them.  What trials they might have gone through.  Some very wealthy, minimal trials, but perhaps died young.  Some dying on a battle field somewhere.  Crusader Knights, leaving their wives and children for years at a time.  

Some, very simple people, but with a courage I would not have had--to leave family, get on a ship and sail clear across that big ocean to start a new life here.  Many indentured servants, working for land owners and saving every penny, until they could buy land of their own and start their own family dynasty?

What about our Native Americans?  Living their own happy, contented lives, until unknown, strange looking white human beings came and kept pushing them off their own land.  Taking their land by force and not paying them a cent for it.  Killing their food supply for sport.  Pushing, pushing--ever backward into a concentrated area.  It makes me weep.

The African's that my 7th Great Grand Father's brother brought on a British ship to Virginia to be slaves.  Thankfully not my own Great Grand Father, who was a minister, but his brother.  What about them?  One time, back in the 1960's, while sitting in a motel in Virginia, I opened up the phone book and found hundreds of names with my Great Grand Father's last name.  No--I am not a direct descendant of a Virginia slave, but they carry the last name of my mother's family.  

Some ancestor's living in European, war-torn countries.  Persecuted for their religious or ethnic beliefs.  Hoping their children can escape to a new, free land.

The Irish caught up in the Potato Famine, of the religious wars.  The Saxon's of Germany.  The English and French, fighting each other.  New rulers came in and made new religious laws.  A few years later, another ruler came in, changing those religious laws back to the original laws.  The women, sailing across the ocean while pregnant.  Dying in childbirth.  

So many dying from the Black Plague or even the Influenza epidemic of 1918, here in this country.  I have 3 family members from my 3rd Great Grand Father's family, his siblings, who died on the same day.  November 2, 1918.  A brother aged 24, a baby sister aged 3 and another baby sister aged 6 months.  On the same day!  How would a mother and father go through that and keep their sanity?  They had a strong faith in God?

and yet....our direct ancestor made it!  I always wonder...if my 8th Great Grand Father had died, in the Civil War, as his son had, who would I have been born to?  Where?  What name would I have?

We carry the DNA of every single one of those direct ancestor's!  Just imagine that for a moment.  How far back?  Adam?  Noah?  It boggles my mind.

That's why I love genealogy.  I am obsessed with it!  Each person I research, each book I make is filled with time and love for the history of that family. Their names get stuck in my head, like they are my own ancestor's.  Thankful.  Experience.  Silence.  Methitable, some of the women's names.  Conradus, Casper, Evin, Bodic, some of the men's names.  

It is all just history, but it is OUR history!  




Tuesday, June 7, 2016

Yawn

For some reason, I had a rough night last night.  At least I think I did.  I slept well, but groggy all day today.  

This morning, ran up to the doc's office to get blood work done for my visit to him on Thursday.

Came home, ate a snack, sat down and fell asleep for two hours in my chair.  Rarely, if ever do I do that.
============================
If one bloom is pretty, how about 3?  And two more buds to open.


Monday, June 6, 2016

The Past. The Present. The Future?

The future?  I don't even think about it or worry about it anymore, at least, not like I used to.

I am too busy in the present.

The present, which right now, has me deeply searching the mysteries of the past.
========================


I finished up a genealogy I started first of April.  I was so pleased with the way the book turned out.  I put it in a printing paper box, stuffed paper all around it and packed it into a Flat Rate Medium box to mail.  I held that box, hugged up tight to my heart and sent it off with love.

My client received it and sent me the nicest e-mail to tell me how much she liked it.  That e-mail meant the world to me.  She had helped me so much with information and photos of her ancestor's.  Then I delved and dug deep to find maps of the areas where her ancestor's came from and any stories I could find about the area and the places where her ancestor's worked and lived.  

I really love doing genealogies for people.  At times, in my searches, I have come upon discoveries that have taken my breath away.  To keep going up and up through the generations until I reach up into the early 1000's, is thrilling to me.  Just think what our ancestor's went through to make a life.  Many died fairly young...many wives died in child birth...many father's died only a few months after their last child was born.  Then, the ones that came across that big ocean to this new world to make a new life.  How frightening that must have been.  Glad we are that they did or we, ourselves, would have ended up living under persecution or in war-torn countries.

There is such a history to the background of our easy, sometimes mundane lives.  Maybe that is why I love genealogy.  I love history and people's biographies and documentaries.  To open that all up for someone and perhaps prove to them that, they are related to royalty or warriors or even, just plain, ordinary, hard working people like all my farmer ancestors.

Here I am, late in life and feel like I have found my calling!  

and now, onto climbing up the branches of the next family tree!
================================

How about this present day marvel?  I do not remember planting this Iris.  

I have my peach colored "Momma Iris"
and I have purple Iris.  Was there some sort of hanky-panky, last fall or under the cover of snow, that caused this beauty to emerge?








Most years, I buy Hot Pink, Purple and Chartreuse plants for my pots.  This year I decided to go with yellow, purple, white and chartreuse.  I don't know if I like it or not.  Now enough POP of color, but the pots will fill in and....it is as it is.  



=====================
The dreaded dental visit that I have put off since March.  That yearly exam that includes: full mouth x-rays, deep cleaning, the periodontal check, where the hygienist pokes that pointy thing deep around each tooth to check the pockets and how much the gums have receded, and the final check, when the dentist comes in and checks for oral cancers, nodules in my neck and does her darndest to search for teeny-tiny cavities.  I'm glad it's over.  An hour and 15 minutes in that chair that caused my neck to hurt and the pain shooting into my shoulder and the left front part of my chest.    Back in four months for just a regular cleaning, which I won't put off!

Saturday, June 4, 2016

Migration Time, Vets and Old People

A lot of us olders have our Social Security benefit hit our checking accounts on the 3rd of every month.  Which causes us to emerge from our homes, get on the road out in front and head to the Walmart, like a migrating herd of buffalo!  I was in that parade yesterday.  Some of us heading west to the Walmart, some, with higher SS benefits, headed west to the Meijer store.

The speed limit on the road is 50 mph.  I got behind an old guy who was driving 43--in the left inside, passing lane.  GEEZ LOUISE.  Cars were pulling out behind me to pass us and as soon as it was clear, I did the same and then pulled back quickly in front of him.  

People!  You are in your car.  The car is moving!  You are driving!  Pay attention to what you are doing!
<seems like the only time I yell anymore is when I am inside my car, migrating with idiot drivers>

When I got to Walmart, I started up one of the parking lanes to find a spot.  There was an old woman who thought she had to drive the entire length, in the middle of that lane.  If I had pulled over to the right any farther, I would have clipped parked car bumpers, so...I just stopped and let her maneuver her way around me.

Into the store, same scenario.  Why do people have to park their cart in the middle of the aisle?

My highlight of the day--heck the whole week?  As I walked to the back of the store, there was a man refilling water bottles at the water station.  He was a VietNam vet.  How could I tell?  He looked like he was headed to a military conference.  His cap announced his status, as well as his T-shirt, along with a red, white and blue cane with a field of stars on it.

Since my mother never taught me not to talk to strangers, I walked up next to him and said,
"I like your cane."

"I bought it right here in this store."

There was s short fuzzy tail of some misfortunate animal hanging from the handle.

"That's not a squirrel tail is it?"

"Nope.  Bob Cat.  I kilt it myself.  In da UP."

"Cool."

"Yep--a man always gotta have a little piece a tail with him."

"Even at your age."

"Especially at my age!"

All during this exchange, he had not once looked at me, concentrating on filling the water jugs.  Not once did he smile.

"Well, I want to thank you for your service.  I was in college while you were over there keeping it real for me."

"Yes Ma'am."

"I really do appreciate all you did."

"Thank ya, Ma'am."

and with that, I walked off.

"A man always gotta have a little piece a tail with him."  I've been laughing ever since!
========================
Merle is doing a 5K Parkinson's walk Sunday!  His daughter Marge talked him into it.  Pearl is going too--in a wheelchair, that Merle is going to push for the 3+ miles.

  He and I were talking about it.  "You gotta keep moving," he said.

"I wish we could convince Pearl of that fact."

"She won't do it.  Won't even walk anymore.  Just sits in that damn chair of hers, getting fatter and fatter."

"I know she's in pain, but.............."

"She's in pain because she won't move!  The less she moves, the more pain, the less she can move!"

"I've tried to tell her that."

"Know you have."

"She told me two years ago that she was going to be in a wheelchair.  It seemed she had made up her mind then, so.........................."

"She's given up."

"Has she always been so stubborn?"

"Yup.  Ever since I known her.  She makes up her mind about sumpthin and there's no changing it."

"Well, I'm glad you never gave up!"

"Never will,  Gotta keep moving!"
=================
John stopped in later and we had a nice porch chat.  I told him about the VietNam vet.

John said, "I know a lot of guys like that.  They wear their gear all the time.  We get together for coffee and that's all they talk about.  It's like VietNam was the only experience they ever had in their entire lives.  They don't talk about their wives or their kids.  I get sick of listening to them.  There's more to life than a few years in VietNam!"

John was a Marine and served in Nam for a couple of years.  He talks about it, but his are all stories of funny things that happened.  He makes it sound like China Beach and the Mekong Delta was a two year vacation.  The only T-shirt I've ever seen him wear is one with a Marine Corp insignia stenciled on the front.

I think John has a much healthier attitude than some?

Friday, June 3, 2016

The Nutsey-Cuckoo's Are Out in Full Force

The weather here has been just perfect!  Low humidity and mid 70's.  My kind of weather.  I feel much better when it is cooler.  Plus, I don't like being closed up in the house.  It's really no different than being closed up in winter, except the A/C is running, instead of the furnace.  
================
My next door neighbor, the Wiccan, had a weeks vacation so she has been doing yard work.  Well, kinda.  She came over one day because she wanted to look out through my window to see the view of her yard.  She had mowed her lawn, but there were 3 feet high weeds all along the edge of her house and around every bush and tree.

I said, "It is looking pretty nice.  Did the weed whipper I gave you break?" (snotty remark)

"No.  Why?"

"I wondered.  There are a lot of tall weeds around your house and raised gardens."

"Oh.  I never even seen them."

So, she went back home and proceeded to cut them down.  My view has improved, but---she has such a clutter of "stuff".  Every time I turn around, she is out in the yard digging another hole to plant another tree or bush or raised bed or something!    With no rhyme or reason.  

Last year she planted a Golden Chain tree, which will grow to be 25 feet tall, 6 feet from her house.  Then she planted a Smoke Tree in the very middle of her yard.   Tuesday she planted a Snow Ball bush.   Yesterday she informed me that she was going to get a Black Locust tree and plant it.

When I told her those can grow to 40 feet, she didn't care.  "They have such pretty flower clusters that hang down from the branches."

"Yeah, for about two weeks.  They also have sharp spikes that grow on the trunks."

This morning, I kid you not--I looked out my kitchen window and she was looking down at her Lilac bush that had died last year, and she was crying!  I opened the window and said, "Are you all right?"

"My Lilac bush died.  I'm so sad---every tree and bush has a Goddess in it and now this one is dead!"

GOOD GRIEF.

Then she came up to the window and told me, "My young friend just had her first baby.  A girl.  She's a Goth Wiccan and she told me, 'no pink for my girl', so I bought the baby a black onesie that says, "Wiccan Princess" on the front.  It is so cute!"

I said, "Oh my Gosh!  That poor little girl has her future determined before she is one day old."

My neighbor replied, "I know.  Cool, huh?"

My view of part of her yard:


=================================


My neighbor kitty-corner across the street, whose name is Dar, came over 3 times yesterday.  The first time was when she got back from her appointment for the EMG.  She has been bragging and telling everyone that her "case" is so complicated that she can't go to just any Physical Therapist, she has been referred to a MEDICAL Physical Therapist!  Because, as we all know, ad nauseaum, any time Dar has a medical problem, it is not like anyone else.  She has a very complicated system and she needs only the best experts taking care of her.

When she walked into my house, I took one look at her and thought, "Oh no!  Here we go!"

She plopped down in the rocking chair, lit up her cigarette and said, "I just got home and came right over.  I am a wreck and I knew you could calm me down."

"What happened?"

"By the time I got to the Medical therapist's office I was already a basket case.  She explained that I might need to get some tests.  An MRI, Ultra Sound, EMG and other tests.  She showed me how the EMG works and then started to get the machine ready and............well...........I got hysterical, jumped up from the chair and backed into the corner."

"What?"

"I wasn't going to let her stick those electrified needles in my arm!  I told her not to come near me.  She's just a little thing, I could probably have taken her down."

"Oh my."

"Then she promised she wouldn't do any tests and wanted to take my blood pressure.  It was 212 over 140.  She got concerned and told me I had to go over to the ER.  She was afraid I was going to have a stroke or a heart attack or a brain bleed!  I am on blood thinners ya know.  I could have a brain bleed from high blood pressure."

"What did they do in the ER?"

"Oh.  I didn't go.  I just had my son drive me back home and I stopped in at my doctor's office and demanded to see him,  'Right now!', I told his receptionist."

"Did you get to see him?"

"Yes.  Of course.  They put me in front of the rest of his patients in the waiting room.  They know, when I'm in that kind of state, they better see me quick!"

"What did he say?"

"He increase my blood pressure medicine to twice a day, and he upped the strength of my nerve medicine."

"Oh, what kind of tranquilizer do you take?"

"Tranzine."

"I've never heard of that one."

"It's an old one.  I've taken it for years.  I can't take the newer ones, because I can't take a chance on what they would do to my system.  I have a very complicated system that reacts to drugs differently than anyone else."

"So.  Now what?  Are you going back to the therapist?"

"Yes.  I go back next Thursday.  Today was just a test run."

"You have pain in your legs, right?"

"Yes.  And a heaviness."

"Your arms are always numb?"

"Yes.  All the time."

"Well, Dar...the only way they can find which nerve is pinched or which nerves are causing this numbness and pain, they have to do an EMG.  That test will show them where the problem is."

"(Sigh).  You don't understand.....they don't understand!  I. Am. On. Coumadin!  If they start putting needles in my arm, I could bleed to death!"

 I shake my head.  Bleed to death?  

"Don't you get regular blood tests?"

"Yes.  Piece of cake."

"If you don't bleed to death when they stick a needle in the inside crook of your elbow, why would you think you'd bleed to death with a needle on the outside of your arm?"

(Silence)

"My body is very complicated.  It's used to blood tests, it has never had an EMG.  I could bleed to death!"

"I'm sure they know you are on Coumadin.  I'm sure they know the test won't make you bleed to death.  You'll be fine.  Just put your mind on something else while they do the test."

"I can't do that!  I have to feel in control and I didn't feel in control and I went hysterical!"

"Remember what you read in your Bible.  You have NO control over much of life.  You say you are a strong Christian, then............put your trust in God and Jesus.  Recite the 23rd Psalm while you are having the EMG and trust that God will take care of you."

She left within a few minutes.  Apparently she talks a big talk about her beliefs, but doesn't quite walk the talk?
=======================
She was back within the next two hours to tell me, "I just wanted you to know.  I told my son that he has until the end of June to take the kids and get out of my house.  I can't live this way anymore!"

Then she made one more trip over to give me a book she knew I'd just love!

==================
Never in my entire life have I EVER met people like these two neighbors!!  I didn't even KNOW there were people like them walking around freely..unchained!   















Thursday, June 2, 2016

News From The Front

I did tell you my October expected great grand babe is a girl.  Right?  I did tell you that.

Her youngest Aunt, my Precious Girl Madeleine, had been taking care of a 90 year old lady at night.  NOT part of her nurses training, just because she wanted to and got $$ for it.  The 90 year old lady died last week and Maddie was upset because, her supervisor told her not to go to work that night.  The lady was in Hospice care and near the end.  Her supervisor thought it wouldn't be a good idea for a young woman to be there when the lady died.  Maddie WANTED to be there and was very upset that she couldn't be.  

Karen called the supervisor and talked with her about it.  "Where did this daughter of yours come from?"  asked the supervisor.  "Most people, especially young people wouldn't want to with a dying person!"

I have often wondered the same thing.  Maddie is an extraordinary young women.   She heard that the lady she stayed with in Guatemala last spring was not feeling well, so, Maddie got on a plane, all by herself and flew down there to be with the lady for the next two weeks.  

I think Maddie is part Angel, sent here for all of us to learn from.  Which makes me have a weird thought that she is SO good, that God may call her back early.   (I told you it was a weird thought).
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The last e-mail I got from Jennifer stated that she had received a GREAT invitation and promotion from her Law firm here in Michigan, IF she would move back to Michigan.  That invitation came with an appointment to our State Capitol where she would work with the Governor on setting up Non-Profits in Michigan.  Apparently she is the expert on that and has been to many conferences around the US and in Europe just for that purpose.

Well, when Eric's father heard about that, he told Eric that he wanted him to take over the father's main office in Manhattan.  The largest office.  The multi-million dollar prosthetic/orthotics office in New York City.  Jennifer let her Law office here know that she would be staying in New Jersey.

Well, I just found out, Eric's father has rescinded his offer!!!!!

Over the last 14 years, Eric's father had given him this offer.  Eric has gone to New Jersey for a month each time--6 times in all.  He always came back here with the declaration, "I can't work with my father!"  One such time, 7 years ago, the moving vans were coming to Eric and Jen's on a Saturday morning to move them to NJ.  On Friday night , we had all gathered at their house, to say Good-bye.  The next morning she called to say they had changed their mind.

That's why last fall, we didn't get too ramped up--until we actually saw them and the moving company drive out of their driveway.

Now this!  Eric hasn't worked since November 2014. Jen has been supporting the whole family.  Pam is so mad she's spitting nails!  She flat out told Jen to, "Move back here.  I've got plenty of room for you and the kids to stay with me!"

I, of course, do not verbalize any opinions, because it's much better that way.
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I am a bit ticked off at my sister.  When I was out visiting her, after the estate sale, not once did I bring up the subject of how much they made, what our share would be, or anything of that nature.  I felt it was up to her to tell me and be fair in what amount she gave me.  

A few days later she called and asked me what I wanted to do with my share.

"I talked with Pam on the best way to set this up.  Either an account in her and your names.  Or an annuity, with both your names. What do you want to do?"

I had no idea how much my share was.  If it was $500.00, I'd take it in cash.  If it was $1 million, I'd set up an annuity.  I wondered why she had talked to Pam about it before she talked to me.

"How much did you make?"  I asked

"Well, how do you want your share?"

"I gotta know how much it is before I figure out what to do!"

She finally told me.  "I'll call you back," I said.

An hour later, the phone rang.  It was Karen.  "Mom!  Are you excited about how much you got from the sale?"

GEEZ LOUISE!  I wondered how many other people knew what my share was BEFORE I did!
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Pardon my language, but things like this really piss me off!!!  

Just like with my son's cancer.  Everyone knew before I did.  Now, apparently my sister talked with my kids to see how they should arrange for Old Decrepit Judy's OWN inheritance.

My share is far less than they got from their grand father, eight years ago.  I would have told them, eventually, but I didn't think it was up to my sister to call them and discuss all this before she talked to me!

It makes me feel that they feel I am so old and senile that I can't make a decision for myself.  One step away from the old folks home where they can control ALL my business.

Of course, I said nothing to my sister about this.  I just like to keep those feelings inside and stew in my own juices.

Tuesday, Susan called again.  "You should put it into a special checking account so you can draw from it when you need it."

"I'd like part of it in cash so I can pay for my paint job, carpet and fireplace."

"You don't want it in cash!"

"Why not?"

"Because you don't want to keep cash in your house!"

"Why not?"

"Because you never lock up your house when you leave and one of your neighbor's could break in and steal it!"

"One of my neighbors?  Which one?  Pearl?  Merle?  John?"

"Well, someone could drive by and decide to break in."

"I have kept cash in this house ever since I lived here.  No one knows I have any money.  All anyone has to do is look at my 18 year old car sitting out in front and know I don't have any money."

"Well.  I will give you cash if you promise to lock up your house every time you leave."

"That won't do any good.  My front door is so flimsy, even if it was locked, anyone could just nudge it and walk in."

"Well, do you want me to write a check?  Or do you want a Cashier's check?"

So we decided.  She would keep my inheritance in her savings account and write me a check for what I needed to get my paint job, carpet and fireplace.  She would write me a check and I would cash it when I needed it.

Yesterday, she and Chuck came down and she gave me a bank envelope with cash.  GEEZ!!

So, now I have cash in my house!  GEEZ LOUISE!!  It is so well hidden that it would take a burglar a month of Sundays to find it.  Susan said, "Just don't hide it so well you forget where you put it."

What the hell?  I am 76 years old!  Not 96!  My mind is perfectly sound and sane!  I even put a note in my Funeral Box so if I die tomorrow, Pam will know where my stash of cash is hidden!  PLUS, I made an Excel spreadsheet with how much the total amount was and when I received the cash AND that the rest is in Susan's savings account!  Printed that out and put it into the Funeral Box.  Each time I take any of it, I will record the date and how much and the total left. I don't plan on spending it, but leaving it there for any emergencies.   GEEZ!!!

I suppose now I will get phone calls from the girls telling me how much Aunt Susan gave me and how am I going to keep it hidden and what am I going to spend it on.

There isn't enough to buy a used car.  I am not going to go out on a spending spree.  I am not going to move to a different place.  I am not going to buy a new fur coat--or even a new wool coat.  I am not going to buy a new couch and recliner (although I sure need them).

AND--if I wanted to spend every last dime, it's none of their business!!!  I suppose if I did take out any more, my sister would call the kids and let them know.  So, once again, my life is being controlled!

IT'S NOT THAT MUCH MONEY, PEOPLE!!!!!  Relax! 

<I still don't know the total sales.  I still don't know what my sister's share was> 

I do not like how people, especially family treat me now that I am older!