The Way It Was

I miss the way is was.  We always dressed up for Thanksgiving dinner at my Grandma's, and it was dinner, 1:00 pm precisely.  None of this eating at four in the afternoon nonsense!

After my Grandma died, we were always up to Mother and Daddy's.  After Mother died, I had Thanksgiving dinner for everyone.  I cooked all day Wednesday--two or three recipes that my Grandma and Mother always had.  I made 4 or 5 different pies.  Pumpkin, Mince, Apple, Cherry and usually Banana Cream.  My Dad and step-mother came and my hubs family.  The women all worked so I had them bring nothing.

I used my Grandma's best long linen damask table cloth, her china dishes and crystal water goblets and my Mother's pure sterling silver-ware.  The kids loved it!!  They were on their best table manners that day.

When I lived in Saginaw, I always fixed Thanksgiving dinner for my house mate Ernie and his mother.  Just the three of us, but I made all the trimmings.  It was their custom to have peel and eat shrimp as an appetizer.

Then, when I moved down here, the whole family was still going up to The Farm, with Daddy and Step-mother.  After Daddy died, step-mother always went to her daughters and Fred and I always went to Jennifer's.  Her mother- in-law would come in from New Jersey and we'd  have a big meal and then while the men watched football, we women played Canasta.

Then Fred died and everyone felt sorry for me and I had invites to everyone's place!!  Then Jen got mad at me and the next year I went to Karen's, with all her in-laws.  When Susan and Chuck moved to The Farm in 2012, I had Thanksgiving with them.  We'd usually get Pammie to drive on up for dinner with us.

My son and Cindy always go to her Mother's for Thanksgiving.
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So this year, when I hadn't heard anything by yesterday, I realized that NO ONE was going to extend an invitation.  That pretty much hurt!    So--when I got up this morning, I decided to treat it like any other Thursday.

I did not watch the parade.  I stayed in this computer room and worked on getting my last genealogy book printed out.  Then, at noon, I went out into the living room, had a bowl of Cheerios and watched a bit of the Lion's football game. I got my last batch of spaghetti sauce going and then I watched a really good movie with Ryan O'Neil, Shelly Somebody and Drew Barrymore called "Irreconcilable Differences."

I was working on a new knit project for Chris, while I enjoyed the movie.

Then, between 1:00 and 3:00, Karen called and invited me down.  They were eating at 4:00.  I can't drive after dark, so the minute I got to her house, I would have had to start back.  Then my sister called, she is coming this way tomorrow.  Then Pearl called and was so angry at my family, she invited me to go with them to her grand daughter's.  Then John stopped by with two pieces of the Pineapple Cakes he had made from the recipe I gave him.

Then, it was 6:30 and the MSU Spartans were playing basketball and now--just look--it's after nine and I will be going to bed soon!

It was a pretty good day--62 degrees and sunny. 

I still miss the way it was, however.  Now, I am waiting to see how they can all screw up the (once a year) four whole hours I get to be with family on Christmas Eve!  I can't wait for it all to be over!!!

2 in 1

What a lovely time Andrew and I had at supper.

I told him to choose where he wanted to go and he picked Red Robin.  Their family used to go there all the time, but haven't been in a couple of years.  It IS quite expensive.  I had a hamburger and our bill came to $32.38.  I told him to order anything he wanted, and he did!

We talked about so many things.  Their move--he is not happy, but says, "I don't really have a choice, so I will make the best of it."  We talked about college--he still wants to go to MIT--that hasn't changed since he was 6.  We talked about choices he will be making in the next few years.  I cautioned about making spur-of-the-moment choices and how that could hurt his life.  We talked about drugs--he says cigarettes, alcohol and weed are very prevalent in his class and the high school.  I was quite amazed, as  his school is rather a small townish atmosphere.  We talked about religion and how he likes their new church because, "I can ask questions.  I can voice my opinion, and I'm not going to be judged or thrown out.

We talked about his siblings--he's very keen on the youngest Evan because, "He is very smart!"

I told him that the move is going to be hardest on Elise, he agreed and said, "She just cries about it all the time!"  I said, "Girls form really strong friendships.  They have a deep emotional connection to their friends.  Elise is really going to miss Violet, that shes known since she was three.  Right now, she probably doesn't think she will make any new friends, but she will.  Just be nice to her and don't tease her."

I asked about his friends.  He only has a couple in his own class.  He has three really good friends who are Seniors this year.  Why is that?  He is taking Senior AP classes, so he is with the Senior Gifted kids more than he is with his own Freshman class.

Andrew has a very high IQ and is super intelligent.  At 12 1/2, he built his own computer.  Not just a regular computer, but one of those with extra hard drives, lots of megabytes and other bytes I can barely understand.  He has been told by family and teachers, since he was 4, how brilliant he is and...he believes it and knows it.

He doesn't act haughty, at least not around me, but when I said to him, "You are very intelligent," he didn't give me one of those "Aw shucks," looks, he nodded his head in agreement.  "Just don't let your intelligence make you weird like Steve Jobs or Bill Gates.....don't let it isolate you from other people.  Be as smart as you want, but be humble about it and interact with all kinds of people."

He is very courteous, to everyone.  He uses his "Please" and "Thank Yous" to the waitress and to all others.  I like that about him.

We talked about politics.  He's a lot smarter about that,  than most adults I know.  He said, "The way our Constitution was written up, the Congress is supposed to have as much or more power than the President.  The Congress who is supposed to represent the people.  Nowadays, the President has all the power and the Congress, with their unlimited terms, aren't representing the people.  They are just there getting and doing favors from their other buddies and working on a nice retirement package."

Andrew just turned 14.  14 going on 20.  He is unlike any 14 year old boy I have ever met and talked with.  His knowing that he is exceptional in the brain department seems to give him a certain sense of confidence.  I suppose he could be a pain in the ass, and I hope he learns to tone that down, before some Jersey Boy beats it out of him.

Andrew has also lost the uncomfortableness he used to have at 10-12 about hugging Gramma Judy.  He not only hugs me now, but easily said, "I love you, Gramma."

I do not know why he is wearing his hair long like this.  I also don't know why he dressed so sloppy when we went out to eat.  I said nothing about it.  I don't really understand teenagers all that well anymore.

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This morning, John and Maisey stopped in.  I was still in my pajamas.  Luckily I wear flannel pajama pants and a waffle-weave thermal top, so I was clothed.  He gave me a jar of special jam he bought in the UP.  Thimble Berry, which he noted was special.  I had never heard of it before, so I Googled it.

Each year, hundreds of jars of thimbleberry jam are produced and sold by local jam makers to feed the appetites of visitors hungry for a taste of Keweenaw. Each year, many more jars are produced in homes throughout the Keweenaw Peninsula to feed families hungry for a sweet breakfast companion or after school snack. But even seasoned jam makers must learn new ways to meet the unique challenges facing them throughout the entire process. Two characteristics of thimbleberries present the first hurdles to a would-be jam maker: It grows only in the wild, and it is extremely fragile.
    
 It is not unusual for home jam makers to gather their berries in the wild. Wild blueberry and strawberry jams have been popular for decades, perhaps centuries. However, these fruits can be gathered in just about any type of container, including  boxes, baskets or pails. Not so the thimbleberry. So delicate are these berries that they break open from the weight of the berries above them in the pail. Even the most careful picker cannot avoid bruising them. To prevent the juice of the berries from being lost to the forest floor, only a watertight- or in this case juice-tight-container will do for gathering. Plastic five-quart ice cream pails are perfect for the job.

The Monks have this place to sell UP items to support their monastery.

$15.00 for a pint of jam!!
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The rest of my day was spent copying out my next to last genealogy book and making a quick trip up to Cartridge World to get my color and blank inkjets refilled!!

Tomorrow is looking like I am going to be alone on Thanksgiving day.  I have no invites from no one.

Kind of sad in a way.  I have four children and a sister and yet none of them thought about the old lady.  It will be so much more convenient when I'm dead!!

BUT, rather than let those kinds of thoughts creep into my mind, I will content myself with finishing up the printing of the book, knitting and crocheting and starting my last batch of spaghetti sauce.

Make Some Popcorn.......................

.....and watch my movie debut.
<de but?  What is a de but?>


Friday--it arrived from UPS.  It took me several minutes to get the heavy box back to the bedroom. 

My back was already killing me!

https://youtu.be/5HwVPUg1yOo


Sunday, it's ready for it's test run

https://youtu.be/AwIpdRFbi7U

The First Snow Fall

We were the "epicenter" of the snow fall, with an official depth of 16.8 inches. It was marvelous!!  Wish I could post my own videos on here--I tried by I guess Blogger doesn't allow.

I knitted and crocheted all day and watched my Spartans, upset and stun the unbeaten Buckeyes of Ohio State.  My Spartans using 2 second-string quarter backs because our main man had a shoulder injury.  It was amazing and quite unexpected!!!!  

Sunday, I stayed in all day too because my drive-way wasn't cleared and my car covered with 16.8 inches of snow.  John was still in the Upper Peninsula with his dying sister and did not get home until late last night.

At around 10:00, I heard a knock at my door.  It was Jackie's three grandchildren.  The youngest one (11) asked, "May we please clear off your driveway for you?"

"Sure.  May I please give you some money for doing it?"

"No ma'am.  We just want to do it.  We just did grandma's and we still want to do yours."

"Okay.  If you really want to."

"Yes we do!  Thank you so much.  God bless you!"

"You too!"

Nine kids in that family.  All home schooled in a Christian group.  They remind me of Karen's kids.  

It seems to me that these kinds of kids get such a kick out of just helping people with no thought for anything in repayment.  Earning stars in their Heavenly crowns.
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I got my 3" inch memory foam mattress topper Friday, opened it and let it lay flat until Sunday afternoon.  Man that thing is heavy!!!  I got it on the bed and slept on it for the first time last night.

It is nothing like I thought (and feared) it would be.  I did not sink into it.  I was afraid I would not be able to roll over or get out of the "hole" in the morning.  It is like a nice firm mattress--not hard, but nice and supportive.

I must have slept well because I went to sleep on my right side and woke up this morning, still on my right side and the covers on the left side of the bed were still in place, just like I had made the bed.  Amazing!    

Usually, if I sleep on one side all night long, the scar area of my hip replacement is kind of sore.  Not this morning.  I could easily get off the bed, just swung my legs over to the side and stood up.  I don't have to push myself up from the bed, which helps my painful left shoulder.

My bed was already high, but with the added 3", when I stand by it, the edge comes up to just below my bottom, so it is easy to get in and out of.  Now, if you were 5'4" with a high mattress to start with, you might need a ladder!  LOL

It is perfect!
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This morning, John called to see if I needed him to remove any snow from my drive-way or car.  He sounded exhausted and I imagine he was.  It's a 350 mile drive up to where his sister is.

I told him, "Nope.  My drive-way is all cleared off."

Then I went out and tried removed the snow from my car.  

GEEZ LOUISE!!

Of course, it was wet and heavy.  I had to use my plastic snow shovel to get the first two layers off the roof, trunk and hood.  I was exhausted, so I hopped in the car, started it up, turned on the front and rear defrosters and just let it run for 20 minutes.  After my Soap, I took off up to Wal-Mart.

Sunny tomorrow and Wednesday and 50's, will clear all the snow away from my car and probably most of the grass.
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Andrew sent me a message early this morning that he had a dental appointment after school so we are going out for supper Tuesday night.

Grateful Day #19

Another e-mail from my grandson:


This friday I'm going over to a friend's house, but Monday would be fine!

On Nov 18, 2015 5:19 PM, "Judith Miller" <jjmiller6213@comcast.net> wrote:

What do you have going this Friday after school?

If not Friday, how about next Monday or Tuesday?
=======================

I will pick him up around 4:00 :-)

Today I had lunch with my Old School Gal Pals.  Quite a distance away.  Well, really not that far, but it seemed like it.  35.7 miles one way.  That's the most I have driven in months. :-)  A nice surprise, my BFF Arlene's daughter stopped in with her daughter and grandson, just so I could meet him.  My BFF's first great grandchild.  He is 11 months old and we fell in love immediately.  While we were eating, he kept pulling on my shirt, wanting me to pick him out of the high chair.  While I was holding him, I tried to pass him off to his mother and he turned toward me and snuggled his head in my shoulder and wouldn't let go of me.

I don't know if I mentioned here, a couple of months ago, how I physically longed to hold a baby in my arms.  He isn't quite a baby, but holding him seemed to do the trick.  He wiggled so much, I was worn out.  LOL

Tears after they left.  I miss Arlene so much and it makes me sad and a bit angry that she died just a few months before her grand daughter's wedding.  She was trying to hang on so hard, just to be at the wedding.  Anger that she never got to see and snuggle with this adorable little boy.

Anyway, it was lots of love from them.  Hugs and shared tears and I love yous.  Truly something to be grateful for.  I can't tell you much of what else was going on around me.  I did hear that one of our friends is in the hospital, recently in ICU and barely made it.  Apparently, she had a bowel blockage, but it or something, led to her not being able to breathe and problems with her heart.  Plus, her mind was very bad.  I suppose that could be caused by not enough oxygen.

We just go along, minding our own business, living a nice life and BAM, we get sick and die in a matter of a few days.  Another reason I am grateful every morning when I wake up and I'm still here.  As my BFF used to say, even when she was dying, "As long as I'm on the top side of the sod, it's a good day."

I didn't get out to The Farm on the way home.  By the time I drove out there, it would be time to head home before it got dark, so I called my Lil' Sister and explained.  Then, on the way home, I drove through my home town for a few minutes and headed on home.  Got here at 4:45--it gets dark by 5:15 nowadays.
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I had to do something tonight that I didn't think I'd ever do.  I have a Face Book "friend"--I have only met her twice and that was 10 years ago.  I will call her Lynn, because that is her name.

She is a very Intolerant Liberal--the kind that preaches tolerance, but does not practice it.  She can't take an opinion that doesn't agree with her political leanings.  She likes to ridicule me on some of my political posts.  She wants to argue.  She says I am "hate filled" and once called me a "racist" because I disagree with the President's policies.  She uses crude language.  

If any of my other "friends" make a comment on my post, she gets into arguments with them.  I don't care how she rags on me, but to get into long winded "comment" fights with my other friends, really bothers me.  Plus, I believe it is so against etiquette.  Aren't you just supposed to comment on the original post and not what others comment?

I have her restricted so I don't see any of her posts.  I made a mild comment on one of her posts, years ago, and three of her "friends", commented that #1: I was stupid.  #2: I was a racist.  #3:  I was so ignorant that I had no business even commenting on her post.  YIKES.  These tolerant Liberals are kind of scary.

So, today while I was away from home, there was a lot of activity about a joke link I had posted.  She and another of my younger friends apparently were going back and forth with each other.The younger friend thought Lynn had disrespected me (which she had) and was standing up for me.  So, Lynn attacked her.

This has been going on for the last few years.  I have decided to block Lynn.  I never thought I'd ever do a thing like that.  It seems impolite, it seems rude.  I try to be nice to everyone.  However, considering the fact that this next year is going to be a heated one, I don't think I want the stress of her rants on my Timeline, on everything I post.  Considering the fact I have only met the woman twice and only for a few minutes each time, and the person we were connected through died five years ago--I shouldn't worry about her feelings.

But I do.   It makes me feel bad.  
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This morning, I found out from Karen that Jennifer and Husband have sold their house.  They got what they were asking. $1M.  I guess right now, they are trying to figure out if they should pull the kids out of school and move them to a new one in January, or if Eric will go to NJ, start taking over his Dad's business and start building their house while Jen stays here with the kids so they can finish out this school year.

Personally?  I don't think they should pull the kids out of school mid-year.  It is going to be hard enough on them to start at a brand new school next fall.

It is going to be hardest on Elise.  She is best friends with their next door neighbor girl.  They have known each other since they were 3 and have been in the same class for the last 6 years.

It won't bother Alex a bit.  He is so calm and unperturbed by anything.  He can make friends in half a minute and just goes on.

The little guy Evan, won't know a bit of difference.  The only problem he is having right now, is missing his Aunt Pammie.  He cries almost everyday for her.  Jen texts Pam and tells her how Evan cries for her.  It upsets Pam.  Does Jen think she is showing Pam how much Evan loves and misses her?  She's not doing it in the right way!

I don't know how Andrew feels.  I might find out Monday, without prying too much. He probably will adjust just fine.

I will not be voicing any of my worries to any of them AND NOT to any of the rest of the family.  Keep my mouth shut and just smile and nod and make appropriate noises in my throat.

Is it going to break my heart that they are moving?  Not really.  I haven't been part of their family for nearly three years.  It might make it even easier because now they won't be so close that I feel left out of everything.  They will be far away and that will be a good excuse?

I am anxious to know how Jennifer is going to get along--with a SIL that she can barely tolerate.  A FIL that treats her like she's a "woman" and of no consequence and a MIL that regards Jen like she is her son's wife and thus a slave to the family.  It should be interesting. 

The only REAL concern I have?  Them living on the East Coast and Eric working in Manhattan.    Can anyone say "ISIS"?

All is Right With My World

From: Andrew Oertel [mailto:drewoer@gmail.com]
Sent: Wednesday, November 18, 2015 4:41 PM
To: Judy
Subject:

Hi grandma! I just saw that you called about taking me to birthday dinner. Im excited for it, and any day would work for me. Thanks!!

Grateful? Hm-mm, Let Me Think Now.

I am pretty depressed today.

As I told you, my oldest daughter Pamela-Pam-Pammie, isn't working for my youngest daughter anymore.  My middle-man, in their home/life is gone.  Pam was the one that arranged my visits with my four youngest grand children.

Jennifer still isn't speaking to me, it's been nearly three years now.  I was hopeful because at the start of fall, she did stop in twice after church on Saturday night.

I got to take my 3rd grandson Alex out for his birthday supper and we had a great time.  Pam talked to his parents and got that all arranged for me.  That same day, I was talking with my oldest of the four, grandson Andrew.  We talked about where he wanted to go for his birthday supper.  He would pick the place.

His 14th birthday was November 3rd.  His father's Dad was visiting that and the next week so I knew he'd be busy.

This past Saturday, I called Jennifer on her cell.  She did not answer so I left a message asking her when it would be a good evening for Andrew and I to go out.  I don't know his after school schedule.  She didn't return my call.

On Sunday, I sent her an e-mail, nicely requesting the same thing.  No response.

Pam suggested I call their home phone.  Last night at 8:00, knowing they all would be home, I called.  No answer, so once again I left a message.  "Hi, this is Grandma Judy.  I am calling to find out when Andrew and I can go out for supper.  I don't know his schedule, so I'm hoping you will get back to me.  Thanks."

I was hoping with a message on the home phone, Andrew might hear my message, or one of the other kids.  Their Dad would ignore it, I'm sure, as might Jennifer.

She told me 3 years ago that even if she didn't want to see or speak to me, she would never keep the kids from their "grandmother".

I think she is doing that very thing!

Her message on the home phone just about made me want to throw-up!  In a soft, Jackie Kennedy sort of voice is Jennifer--"This is the Oertel residence.  I'm sorry we can't take your call right now.  Please leave a message and we'll get back to you shortly.  Thank you and have a blessed day."

Yeah--everyone have a blessed day----except your own mother!

I can't enlist Pam or Karen to help me because they told her long ago to give up the grudge and be "pleasant to Mom."

I just hope Andrew doesn't think that I have deserted him.