title explained

Onward and upward! something that you say in order to encourage someone to forget an unpleasant experience or failure and to think about the future instead and move forward.

My e-mail: jjmiller6213@comcast.net

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Grateful? Hm-mm, Let Me Think Now.

I am pretty depressed today.

As I told you, my oldest daughter Pamela-Pam-Pammie, isn't working for my youngest daughter anymore.  My middle-man, in their home/life is gone.  Pam was the one that arranged my visits with my four youngest grand children.

Jennifer still isn't speaking to me, it's been nearly three years now.  I was hopeful because at the start of fall, she did stop in twice after church on Saturday night.

I got to take my 3rd grandson Alex out for his birthday supper and we had a great time.  Pam talked to his parents and got that all arranged for me.  That same day, I was talking with my oldest of the four, grandson Andrew.  We talked about where he wanted to go for his birthday supper.  He would pick the place.

His 14th birthday was November 3rd.  His father's Dad was visiting that and the next week so I knew he'd be busy.

This past Saturday, I called Jennifer on her cell.  She did not answer so I left a message asking her when it would be a good evening for Andrew and I to go out.  I don't know his after school schedule.  She didn't return my call.

On Sunday, I sent her an e-mail, nicely requesting the same thing.  No response.

Pam suggested I call their home phone.  Last night at 8:00, knowing they all would be home, I called.  No answer, so once again I left a message.  "Hi, this is Grandma Judy.  I am calling to find out when Andrew and I can go out for supper.  I don't know his schedule, so I'm hoping you will get back to me.  Thanks."

I was hoping with a message on the home phone, Andrew might hear my message, or one of the other kids.  Their Dad would ignore it, I'm sure, as might Jennifer.

She told me 3 years ago that even if she didn't want to see or speak to me, she would never keep the kids from their "grandmother".

I think she is doing that very thing!

Her message on the home phone just about made me want to throw-up!  In a soft, Jackie Kennedy sort of voice is Jennifer--"This is the Oertel residence.  I'm sorry we can't take your call right now.  Please leave a message and we'll get back to you shortly.  Thank you and have a blessed day."

Yeah--everyone have a blessed day----except your own mother!

I can't enlist Pam or Karen to help me because they told her long ago to give up the grudge and be "pleasant to Mom."

I just hope Andrew doesn't think that I have deserted him.


  1. Your grandson is old enough to understand what is going on with his mother and you and he's smart enough to know your love for him and his siblings is unconditional. What a sad situation. No wonder you're depressed. I have so much trouble understanding people who hold grudges that long. It's truly selfish not to be at least civil for the sake of all the people who love you both and are caught in the middle.

  2. I can't believe it's been three years since this all started. I agre with Jean, Andrew knows what is going on, and he knows you love him. I also know that a grandmother wants desperately to see her grands. I'm so sorry, Judy.

  3. I'm sorry Judy. I know it's heartbreaking, especially not being able to see your grandkids! I hope Jennifer comes to her senses someday and remembers the commandment "Honor your father and your mother". Sadly so many people talk the talk but don't walk the walk!

  4. I'm praying hard that somehow, someone at least told him about your message. Even if not, he knows you love him, Judy. It's one thing for her not to talk to you, but it's tragic to keep your grandkids away. So unjust, and unfair. Oh, I could go on and on!! Love you, and so sorry this is happening.

  5. My biggest nightmare! Keep us posted. Hugs!

  6. awwwww, that is so very sad and is my biggest nightmare as well (one of my kids not speaking to me,no grands yet)!!

    so painful, this time of year and really every day of the year!!! shame on both of them!!!

  7. Andrew knows you haven't deserted him. My mother has a tendency to drive me nuts but because she is the only mother I'll ever have and I love her, I won't disrespect her. We just keep our visits short. I don't know what's wrong with people, that they can't at least be cordial. I hope everything works out. xoxo