Thoughts

I am way off base and probably completely wrong about a marriage being "easier" if the couple are alike in their beliefs.  My thoughts coming from what was perceived back in the 1950's, and where and how I was raised.

Nowadays, with more people going to college and meeting and having friends from diverse backgrounds, there is not such a problem with what we would have called "inter-marriages".  I just worry for my grand daughter.  

Her younger brother was in love with a Baptist girl.  They were so in love with each other.  Her family had practically disowned her because she was dating a Catholic.  They went together three years and were talking of marriage, but the girl would not convert.  Their relationship ended, she went back to her family and, after another almost three years, he is still devastated.  If he had ONLY dated Catholic girls, there would not have been that problem.  Other problems perhaps, but not the religious one.

And yet, I know of a couple who went against their families wishes and married, she Methodist, he Catholic.  They had six children.  She raised the girls Methodist, he took the boys to Catholic services.  They were married 60 years and very happily.  There may have been some worrisome influence that their children felt though, because the Catholic boys married Catholic girls and the Methodist girls, married Methodist boys.

And yet, my first husband and I were alike in all things.  We had known each other from 6th grade on.  We attended the same church in town, both alike in politics and backgrounds.  Look how that turned out.  Even after 27 years of marriage, it ended in divorce.

So, it's not that I am prejudiced against these kinds of relationships and marriages.  It's just that I worry about my grandchildren.  I want their lives to be smooth and easy.  Which, of course, no ones life can ever be. However, she will be transferred to Washington, DC in another few months and so I should quit worrying about the boyfriend, who will remain in Michigan and worry more about her living in DC!
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Something that I found weird.  Back, when I was in high school.  I was helping my mother clean her bedroom one day and as I rearranged her under wear drawer came upon a book entitled, "What To Do If Your Daughter Dates a Catholic".  

I was a Sophomore at the time.  There were two Catholic families in our school.  All the kids younger than me.  Why did she think she needed to read that book?  Maybe in case I went on to college and got all crazy and met <gasp> a Catholic boy?

Little did she know, I wouldn't have dated a Catholic.  Heck, I wouldn't have even dated a Baptist!  At that time, I thought Catholics worshiped graven images and Baptist's were way too preachy.

And now, my three daughter's are Catholic's, five of my grandchildren are Catholic and the other four are Lutheran's.  

What is the difference?  We all worship the same God.

Still, if I were to date again, I wouldn't date a Baptist or a Catholic or a Jew, or a black, or a Hispanic, Italian, a man who drank, or was a University of Michigan fan.  My friend John is Nazarene, Italian/Polish, UofM fan, so that leaves him out.  HAH!    

I hit the jackpot when I met Fred, a non-drinking, farm kid from Wisconsin, German, Methodist, Republican, MSU fan. Just like me.  Maybe that's why we got along so well and never had one disagreement? :-)
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I have to tell you--remember Dar coming over and telling me I HAD to check on her Dad every day he is staying with her?  Well, last evening John was out walking his dog and Dar saw him.  She said, "My Dad is coming to visit me for three weeks.  Whenever you are out walking the dog, go up and ring the bell and check on him."  then she walked away.

John said, "I was so flabbergasted I was speechless.  I don't know her Dad...I don't even know her that well, but........she sure is a bossy one, isn't she?"

"Yes."

"She didn't even ask nicely...she just made a demand and I am suppose to obey."

"Well, she told Merle and Pearl the same thing and me too."

"What is her problem?  I'd hate to have to live with that!  I'd hate to have to work with someone like that.  I don't even want a conversation with someone like that!  I think Maisey and I will take our walks around the other way so I don't have to take a chance on ever seeing her again!"

Yes--she is a piece of work for sure.
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Last, but certainly not least--good news here--Cindy, my son Mark's companion called me at 2:00 just to let me know that yesterday Mark had more blood tests and another MRI and---his cancer is receding!!!  When he was first diagnosed, his PSA number was 20.  I don't know much about prostate problems, but the number is suppose to be around 4.  After being on the treatment in pill form since end of July, his number has dropped to 6.8!!

The oncologist was ecstatic!  Nowadays, the doctor's can put together different drugs specifically for the person's genetic codes.  What is working for Mark wouldn't necessarily work for another man.  It's amazing what can now be done to personalize cancer treatments.

He was surprised that the pills hadn't made Mark ill or weak.  Mark feels great.  He walks two miles everyday and has felt just fine.

Needless to say, we all are over the moon and very hopeful.  No--I don't think he will ever be "cured", but he very well may be able to be on a maintenance program for many, many years and have a normal life.

I might add, one good thing about having an attorney in the family is all the sources Jennifer has at her disposal.  When Mark was first diagnosed, she called around---many phone calls and recommendations until she found one of the best prostate cancer doctors in this area.  He is also involved with Cancer Treatment Centers of America, so he is very "up" on the latest treatments.

I have been a bit lethargic and down in the dumps lately, that news just put a smile on my face and a PRAISE GOD song in my heart!!!!!

  

Sunday-A Perfect Day

I rode up to The Farm with Karen, her oldest daughter Helene and Helene's boyfriend.  They wanted to pick apples.

While they were busy, I walked in the fields and around the barns and part of the woods.  For some reason, it was very emotional for me.

After we left, we stopped in at Pammies.  While they were all in the living room talking, I sneaked the basement door open and sniffed.  It smelled just like it did when I lived there.  Then I went outside and into the barns--they smelled the same as they did when my Grandma lived there too.

We got into the car and I had tears in my eyes.  So many memories.  Deep sadness that I didn't live there anymore.  Sadness that my divorce probably caused me to not be able to live there still.

Karen said, "Are you okay, Mom?  You haven't said a word since we left Pam's"

"Yeah.  I'm just tired."  I kept my face turned toward the window on my side of the car.

"Are you crying?"

"Nope.  I was out in the barns and I think my dust allergy is kicking up."
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By the way:  My grand daughter Helene is a devout Catholic.  When I saw a picture she posted on FB of her and the boyfriend, I clicked onto his page.  His family is Orthodox Jew.

From my experience, these kinds of relationships usually don't work out.

Up North

My kids had a weekend up north.  Wish I could have been there too. <sigh>

Jennifer, Karen, Cindy (Mark's companion) Pammie

My Mark and Karen's Mark (Rivard)

They practically had to hog-tie and drag my Mark up there, but he ended up having a wonderful time.  I haven't seen him looked that relaxed in a very long time. (He doesn't look like he has cancer, does he?)

Sometimes, I Get Real Tired of People

Pearl's daughter showed up.  She couldn't remember the password she had put in, so she deleted Pearl's Face Book account and registered a new one.

Heck!  I could have done that!  Thought about doing that, but then Pearl wouldn't have any "Friends".  As it is, she can't find any of her games, so yesterday, when she was down for a visit, I showed her how to search for the games she likes.  The password the daughter chose?  pearlott1.  Yeah--that's a real good one.
<sigh>

But I promised to stay out of it and out of it I am.
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So, Dar came over.  Her Dad is going to stay with her for three weeks, while her brother and SIL, whom Dad lives with, are on vacation.  Among the many things Dar wants me to do, while she is at work, stop over and ring the bell and go in and talk to Dad.  #2.  Try and get Dad to go for a walk with me up to the lake.  #3.  Check on him and make sure he isn't just sitting in the chair sleeping all day, while she is at work.

Oh yes, and if she calls and asks me out to supper with them, I am not to refuse--no matter what, because Dad needs stimulating conversation with someone other than family.

Don't you just love it?  I've met Dad once.  Dad is 94.  I could not care less if he wants to sit in the chair, watch TV and sleep while she's gone.  I told her, "Your Dad is not my responsibility.  If I see him outside, sure I will talk to him, but I'm not going to be bopping into your house every day to check on him."

I found out later, she stopped in to Pearl and Merle's and ask them the same thing.  Pearl said, "I've never been in your house.  I've never met your Dad.  I don't feel comfortable going over there and checking on him."

My theory?  If you offered for Dad to come live with you for three weeks, take three weeks vacation from work and take care of him yourself!
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Into my fall housecleaning.

Got my bedroom done, but did not empty the closet to swap out my summer to winter clothes and thus, did not get to drain and flush the water heater.

Did get the bathroom and laundry area all done and spotless.  Did this--

Did get the kitchen done.  Windows washed on the inside, kitchen curtains soaked in this

Washed, starched, ironed and back up.

John and Maisey stopped in for a porch chat.  Maisey had just returned from the beauty parlor and John brought me some of the best chicken soup I have ever had.  Nothing fancy--just like Grandma used to make.  Chicken, noodles, carrots, onion and celery.

Today is cleaning and rearranging of the living room.  The dreaded office/computer/storage room will wait until next week.

Don't forget to clean out your dryer lint trap--at the dryer and also the outside vent.  Turn your dryer on while you do the outside--it helps blow all the lint out.  Change your furnace filter and, if you live in the colder climates, push the switch on your ceiling fans UP so the fan moves the hot air down towards the floor.

Now, if those people weren't in my way, I'd have a much nicer view of the woods and and the trees.

<Sigh>

Looking forward to Saturday so I can sit in my chair, watch UofMichigan football at noon and Michigan State football in the late afternoon and crochet and knit for hours!!!

Aren't these cute?  They may look like hats, but they are bath mitts.  Large, med, small and child sized.

I am starting a hat pattern--looks complicated, but I will do it--one row at a time. :-)

GO GREEN--beat Rutgers.

Things Like This Make Me Sad

Pearl called Monday.

"Can you take me to pick up my computer?"

"Sure.  Did Marge call Heidi and get the password thingy figured out?"

"No!  Marge is being snippy right now.  I just want my computer back so I can play my games on Face Book."

"Okay.  I gotta go potty and then I will be right up."

Back home, I managed to get the computer into the house and onto Pearl's office chair so we could wheel it down the narrow hallway to her bedroom.

I sat back and let her plug all the wires in.  She had used bread bag clips to label each wire.  Of course, the ink had smeared on them and she could read none.  I told her, "Each wire has a color on it and you just plug it in to the corresponding colored hole on the back of the computer."

She was holding the last wire and looking at it.  "Oh.  I know," she said.  "This one goes into a USB port."  and she plugged it in.

She did a great job and the computer fired up quickly.  She liked that.

She then clicked on the Face Book icon and her login came up.  There was her e-mail address.  YAY.  The little box for her password was empty.

"What do I do now?"

"Type in your Face Book password."

"I don't know it."

"Well...let me think.  When I set you up for Face Book, we used "tiger09" as your password.  The same one you have on your on-line banking account."

She typed in "tiger09". 

 Incorrect password.

"Now what?" she said.

"I don't know.  That's the only password I know of you having."

"Marge changed it, I think.  I guess I'll have to get her to come over here and figure it out."

"Guess so.  She's the only one that knows it.  When she gets here, I want you to write down the password...on Face Book, on your bank, on your g-mail--which is your e-mail account now."

"Okay."

"I suggest you use a simple one that you will never forget.  Use the same one on all your accounts that call for a password."

"Like what?"

"Oh...like your name and birth date.  pearleo3136."

"Oh..yeah...that's a good one.I'd never forget that"

"We hope not!"
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It is now Wednesday evening.  Marge has yet to show up.  So Pearl has her nice, cleaned up, fast running computer, but no way to use it.

Breaks my heart!!!

May The Circle Be Unbroken

There is an engraving inside this wedding band.  It is scarcely visible.  The letters read:  R.U.W. to H.M.C  Oct.6, 1915

It has been 100 years since my grandfather Roy Ulmer Walts, placed this ring on my grandma Helene Mary’s left ring finger.  She never took it off.

On October 21, 1966, the day she died in Hurley Hospital in Flint, MI, it must have fallen off her finger, because the funeral director wanted to know if she had a wedding ring and if we wanted it placed on her finger.  We had no clue it had been lost.

I drove to Flint and the hospital to ask if the ring had been found and placed in lost and found.  The nice lady checked for me, but whispered, “If it fell off in her bed clothes, whoever found it, probably kept it.”

Two weeks later, just on a whim and because it bothered me so that grandma had  been buried without her wedding ring, I stopped into Hurley and checked again.  This time, the same nice lady said, “I’m going to check further.”

Fifteen minutes later she was back.  “Can you describe the ring?”  

“Yes—just a plain, thick, gold band, but wait….there is an engraving inside with R.U.W and H. M.C.”  I had just remembered my grandma telling me of that engraving so many years ago.  A God whisper for sure.

The lady handed me a small brown paper envelope and inside—grandma’s ring!  “It was found in the laundry room and put in the office.  We didn’t know who it belonged too.”  I hugged her, thanked her and we both wept.

I drove home, so happy and took it to my Daddy.  He opened the little envelope and said, “I can’t believe someone turned it in!  Well, it’s too late to bury it with Ma now…why don’t you just keep it.”

I put it on the middle finger of my right hand and have worn it every day since---49 years.  

When I die, it will go to my oldest grand daughter, Helene Mary Rivard, who was named after my grandma.

Trying To Do The Side-Step

Jan--no I'm not writing a book about my neighbor's.  Just posting about them on here exhausts me!
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Pearl's daughter gave her a lap-top over two years ago, when Pearl's old PC died.  She showed Pearl how to do everything, but...it had Windows 8 on it and it was a bit confusing, PLUS, the desktop had different icons on it than Pearl's old computer so she didn't like it.  Never could understand it enough to use it and she wanted to give it back.  

Pearl's daughter would not take it back and said, "You either learn to use it or go without a computer."

Unbeknownst to me.  So, when Pearl got to wanting another PC, I suggested she go along with me when I ordered mine and see if she wanted to look at them and perhaps get one.  Which, she did.  Meanwhile, the Lap-top has lain on top of the entertainment center for the last two years.  Gathering dust as neither Mom or daughter will give in.

So--for this reason, Pearl's daughter has been a bit miffed at me since Pearl got her new PC.  I recently found out from Pearl, because she knew not what she said, that a couple of times, the daughter has changed things on the PC and when Pearl tried to log in and her PC wouldn't, her daughter told her, "Call Judy.  She can fix it."

A bit of sabotage to make me look the dummy.
<I quite frequently look the dummy.  I don't need someone setting me up>

This morning, Pearl's daughter called me.  "The lady from the computer store called Mom and got her all confused.  She needs to retrieve Mom's password and she can't seem to do it."

"Oh."

"If she was worth anything, she ought to know how to retrieve a password. How long have you been doing business with them?  They don't sound very knowledge to me!"
<ah yes, my fault again>

"I don't know what all is involved in retrieving a password, so I can't tell you what the problem might be."

Three seconds after Marge hung up, Pearl called.

"That Heidi over there can't seem to put a simple icon on my desk-top!"

"Which icon?"

"She is trying to put an e-mail icon on my  desktop so all I have to do is click it and it will go straight to my e-mail account."

"Your g-mail account.  Right?"

"NO!  My E-MAIL account!  Clean out your ears!"

"What problem is she having?"

"She needs my password."

"Oh. oh.  You don't remember, right?"

"That's right, so I told her to just put a new password on that account and I will worry about it later."

"Okay."

"But, she says, she can't change my password because she doesn't know the answers to security."

"Security answers?"

"Yes.  Security stuff that she doesn't know the answers.  How dumb can she be?"

"I'll give her a call and call you back."
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So I did.  Heidi cannot access Pearl's g-mail account to make a shortcut icon unless she has Pearl's g-mail password.  Pearl can't seem to come up with a password.  Heidi tried to set up a new password, but she needs to know the answer to Pearl's security question.  Like, "your mother's maiden name," or "your favorite pet".  

"I will have her daughter call you.  She set up the account, I can only assume she will know the answer to the security answer."
<and you know what happens when you assume>

I called Pearl back and explained as best I could.

"Well, why didn't Heidi ask me?  I know my mother's maiden name."

"No--it might not be that one.  (deep breath) When you set up a new account--like we did for your on-line banking? Remember.  There are four or five security questions to choose from.  You have to pick one.  We don't know which one Marge picked to answer."

"Well, I'll have Marge call her when she gets out of work."

"Good idea."

"This is getting ridiculous!"

"Yes it is!"
<and I wasn't referring to Heidi>
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I managed to get my bedroom cleaned up for fall/winter, curtains and bedding washed, mirror cleaned, dusted, vacuumed, but I did not get my closet emptied out to swap my clothes and thus, did not get my hot water heater drained and flushed!

New filter in the air cleaner and the furnace.  Two loads of laundry done.

Dar walked in.

"Hi.  Guess what?  I bought a Smart phone.  Man, it is sumpthin."

"I've heard they are."

"I thought maybe you could help me program it?"

"Ah--I don't know anything about cell phones.  You better have your brother do it for you."

"Oh.  The guy said it was easy-peasy.  Just like a computer and you know computers."
<no, no, no!>

"Not that much.  You better have your brother do it for you."

Then she switched gears and told me she has to have a tooth extracted tomorrow and by the time she got done talking about it, she was near hysteria.  She stood up and started pacing.

"I can't stand the shots!  I get so nervous...I get nauseous."

"Which oral surgeon are you going to?"

"I'm not.  My regular dentist is going to do it."

"Oh."

"Why?"

"Well...when I had my last two teeth pulled, I went to an oral surgeon and she put me out.  I didn't get any shots."

"Oh.  I can't tolerate gas!"

"No.  It's not gas.  It's the same sedative they use.... in your arm....the same stuff they use when you have your colonoscopy.  It's great!"

She sat down.

"Oh.  I wonder why he didn't give me that choice?"

"Well, the regular dentist is not allowed to use a sedative like that.  It has to be an oral surgeon."

"No, I mean, why didn't he ask me if I wanted an oral surgeon to do it?"

"Probably because HE wants the money?"

"Well, when I get home, I'm going to work in my garden the rest of the afternoon.  I gotta get those Hosta's dug up."

"Ah...I don't think that is a very good idea.  You probably shouldn't be bending over or exerting your heart after you have dental surgery."

"Oh, I used to get a tooth pulled and go back to work!"

"Used to?  When was that?"

"Oh...I don't know.  When I was in my forties."

"Okay...so that was thirty years ago and you weren't on a blood thinner with a heart problem!"
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This is how Jackie's son cuts back her perennials.  With the weed whip--right down to the ground.

When my sister and BIL came and cut down my dying Rose of Sharon bush out back, it was lovely of them.  It was also 10 days before the yard waste people come to pick up.  I had my bags of garden clippings too.  We were expecting rain, so I loaded the bags in my wheel barrow and put them in my shed.  This afternoon, I remembered to get them out in preparation for tomorrow's pick-up.  YAY--at least I remembered.  Will be glad to see this mess gone!

As per the yard waste people's Law:  All branches cut into 4 feet lengths and tied with twine and a twine handle to pick them up.  

We are such Conservative, do it by the book people.