Mid-Week

Today, I am so grateful that I was able to get out to get groceries.

I am also grateful that what I figured my groceries would cost, came in at $20.00 less.

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Do you see any chicken in there?  No!  Chicken nowadays has too many growth hormones and liquid injected in them to make the breast plumper and larger.

Do you see any pork in there?  No!  I do not like pork--except for that box on the bottom of Jimmy Dean already cooked microwaveable sausage links.

Do you see pie and ice cream?  Yes.  Yes!  And a big bag of Cherry-Berry frozen fruit.

I also got a pound of ground beef to make more chili.  I think I'm good for a few weeks.

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Daughter Karen and her hubs Mark picked me up at 6:30 and up to the funeral home we went for visitation for my Daddy's cousin--my 1st cousin once removed--or second cousin as I called him.

Youngest daughter, Jennifer had been there early and gone.  She had Bible study tonight.  Bible study?  I hope they were studying about forgiveness or honor they mother, or something like that.

Oldest daughter Pammie was there waiting for us to arrive as she had something to give to Karen.  My sister Susan and her hubs Chuck were also there.

As was my other cousin that I tried to avoid.

I talked with my cousins son and some of my other cousins--3rd cousins they.

The visitation WAS in the same room where Fred's funeral was held, but...it's been three years and it didn't feel bad to me.  Plus my cousin in his casket didn't look at all like Fred, so....I was good.

I sort of danced around the room, but when I sat down to take the pain off my back, the cousin I was avoiding came over to give me a hug.  I didn't even get up out of my chair.  I am so not nice!!

I think the reason it hurts so much is that of all my cousins, she is the only one my age.  All my Daddy's cousins were much older than me, but her mother was 42 when she was born and we are only 18 months apart.  She was out to visit my Grandma with her mother ( grandma's sister) and we spent a lot of time on the farm together or I'd get to go into the Big City and spend a week with her.

She read something on my blog--I was not even aware she knew I had a blog--and took it upon herself to call my step-brother-in-law to tell him to check it out.  He in turn told my daughter Jennifer--who was also unaware I had a blog-- to check it out and what I had written was something mean about my step-monster who had died.  It embarrassed Jennifer in front of the step-family, which in turn caused the rift between her and I.

I so want to call this cousin out, but I just can't.  I am not a confrontational person and do not like discord.  She would probably just make it worse by contacting Jennifer and try to patch things up and...that would just make Jennifer madder at me.  

So-----------------------

The funeral is tomorrow at my church.  None of my kids will be there as they all work.  My sister is on the 3rd day of a migraine type headache, so they may not be there either.  I will go and represent my Daddy's side of the family, and everything will be just fine.

You Guys!!

On this 14th day of Lent, 

I am so grateful that I don't have to go outside!  

We are having snow, snow mixed with rain, freezing rain, icy mixed with rain and then, just plain rain.  

Weird weather day here in the great Mitten State.

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Judi, with an "i", can you tell me where you live?  Are you my visitor from New Jersey?
I have a regular visitor from New Jersey and since my youngest and her family are probably going to move there this summer, I'd like to know who that reader is.  Okay?  (My nickname is Curious George).
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Well, I didn't expect so many comments yesterday.  I wasn't fishing for comments.  It wasn't a "mandatory comment day".  I wasn't being a --what is that term I've heard--"Comment Whore"?  But, I am so glad to see so many.  I made a list about a year ago, I asked you to comment your name and where you were from.  I actually made a list in Excel and if I see an area and don't remember who lives there, I check my list.  I know--I am obsessive about things weird.  So--even if you don't comment, I know who's been by to see what nonsense I posted.  That makes me smile too.

I woke up kind of late this morning--primarily because I had a fitful night, for some unknown reason, and didn't get to sleep until nearly 4:00am.  I struggled to get out of bed at 9:30 am--Buddy was nudging my face with his cold, damp nose and Maggie was nibbling on my hand.  Once I open, even one eye, Buddy sees me and jumps off the bed and he and Maggie start their meowing and crying and if they could humanize their sounds it would be something like, "Mom, get up.  We are starving.  You sleep too late!  Get up!  Get up!" and when I swing my feet out of bed, they start their dance around my ankles as we all move toward the kitchen.  I don't even have time to go potty, until they are fed.

When I do get out of the bathroom, they run ahead of me into the bedroom--they know my routine so well.  This morning I turned left out of the bathroom and headed into the computer room.  Completely threw them off and they followed me, meowing all the way.

I looked out the front windows and saw Dar, walking up my driveway.  I ran to the front door to unlock it and let her in.  For the next hour, she regaled me with--I don't quite remember what, but I know there was talk about Jesus sitting in the chair by her bed and how she woke in the night and was scared and he "talked" her down.  

Every day, I am so grateful for Jesus, but especially on days that He talks Dar down before she decides to come over here.
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I have been a bit down the last couple of weeks.  A lot of that is sadness over my blogging friend, Balisha.  Hard for me to accept that she is dying.  She is such a wonderful gardener and had made plans for what she was going to plant this spring.  How can her flowers still come up and bloom without her there to take care of them, post photos of them and post about them?  It is not fair!!

I remember being so angry the month after my Mother died and the 500 Tulips and Daffodils she had planted the fall before, all came up and looked beautiful.  I wanted to take a weed whip and go out and cut every one of them down.  How dare they come to life when my young Mother was dead?  So angry at those dang flowers.
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Well--maybe I will feel better tomorrow after I get out and socialize.  My Daddy's first cousin and best friend passed away last week at his winter home in Florida. He was 94.  His visitation is tomorrow night at the same funeral home where Fred was (I will try and not think about that--hope it's not in the same room) and his funeral is on Friday at our Church.

The first time I've gone to Church since June 1st.  So--I will get to see our Minister, and the ladies who will put on the funeral meal.  Also get to see relatives, that I want to see--the cousin that betrayed me, I will try and stay away from.  Perhaps, tomorrow night I will also get to see Jen and the kids.  I wasn't going up to the visitation, but Karen called and wanted me to ride up with them.

Then my curiosity overtook me, thinking that the kids won't be at the funeral on a work-day, so I will go. I will take any chance to see Jen and the kids.

Is that awful of me to be happy for this chance?  I mean it's a funeral after all.  I should be sad.  Can't quite be that way.  Cousin Billy had a great life.  He was the most non-judgmental person I ever met.  A nice Christian Methodist man.  He was 94--it will be a celebration rather than a sad occasion.

I still might be an awful person though--to attend the visitation ONLY to have the chance to see my littlest grand kinders.

Hello. Is Anyone Still Out There?

Today I am grateful for March and Sunshine.
For a friend who took me out to supper
and
another Dear Friend who sent me two
books of stamps.
I was down to one stamp in this house
with 4 birthday cards and a bill to mail
tomorrow.

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Why don't people post on their blogs anymore?

I have my favorite blogs on the right side-bar on my page and when the author of that blog, writes a new post, it pops up to the top of my list.  I get so tickled when that happens.  Sometimes there are three or four new blog posts and I love it.  I read and comment.

At the bottom of that list of blogs are some that are still active, but no posts for months or even a year.  That makes me sad.  I know those authors are still "alive" as I see them on Face Book.  They might post a status or share a link.  That just leaves me cold.  There is nothing in those short comments that has any real meaning.  I want to know what they are feeling.  What is going on in their lives.  What they did that was funny, or not funny or just plain every day stuff.

I miss them.

So many on Face Book now, just share links.  Link after link, but no message.  I am guilty of this too, I know.  So many links that it takes me an hour just to read the new ones on my home page.  Nothing of substance.  I guess in this fast paced world, that is what we are left with.

So many of these "lost" bloggers come to my blog to read my posts, I see they have visited by the counter, also on the right side-bar, that shows the city they have come from.  They don't often leave comments.  I get so much out of what my reader's comment.  I can't begin to tell you how many of those comments have helped me.

My blog is just mainly about my ponderings on how life seems to me or is to me.  I write these thoughts down to get them on paper, where I can read them, later if need be, and to elicit a comment that can help me sort out my ponderings.  

Many times, the comments have given me more things to ponder and at times, have helped change my mind about how I thought about something.  Many times, just the support in the comments, are so helpful.  Many times, the commentator has written that they feel the same way and that let's me know, I am not alone.  I am not going nuts, if someone else has experienced or feels the same way.

I HAVE to write!  I HAVE to reach out to people.  I live alone and some day's do not speak a word.  Most days, do not talk to another human being.  I guess my blog posts are my way of communicating and the comments are answers back from friends.

It is the same with reading others posts.  I feel almost like we are sitting and talking.  I am listening to you and then I "talk" back to you.  I sure miss the ones who have quit posting.  I sure miss the ones who come to visit, but leave no comment--kind of like you came up to my door, but didn't bother to come in for a chat.

My front door is never locked.  Come on in sometime, even if just to say "Hi."

Thanks Alice :-)
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Christmas 2015 Projects:

It's The Simple Things

I think, if we think about it, it's the simplest things in this life that have meant the most to us.  At least I am finding that out.

Today, I am so grateful that while my brother-in-law was at Lowe's shopping for whatever, he dropped my sister off here and she and I had an hour to chat and laugh and giggle, and catch up.

Simple?  Yes--and it just made my whole weekend!

Then Pammie called.  We also laughed and joshed each other back and forth.  She and I are so alike!

Simple?  Yes--and it just made my day!  

Grateful

Today, 

I am very, very grateful that the sun is shining brightly, 

steaming in through the windows to warm my house 

AND 

that today, 

is the last day 

of the longest month in the entire year!

February 27th

Truly Grateful

Today I am so grateful that after two weeks of communication via e-mail and 

one week of talking on the phone, 

I took one more chance and,

finally accepted a date with a guy named Fred, 

10 years ago on this day.

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Yes--it took me a while!  I had sworn off on men--nasty critters that they were.  A couple of long-term relationships, that started off nicely, but always,  ALWAYS, it ended through no fault of my own.

I could not take another chance.  I had become comfortable living on my own and then...coincidence or God happened, and quite by accident this, what appeared to be a really down to earth, nice man, found me.

By the end of that first date, we were both quite smitten with each other.    Perhaps because we had communicated so much before we met?  We already knew each other's history and at least, didn't have to go through all that on the first few dates.

I have been grateful ever since and still am.  How lucky I was that, for the first time in my life, there was someone who really loved me.  The first man I ever completely trusted.

Grateful

Lenten Gratitude

Today I am so grateful that I filled up my car with gas yesterday.

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I had to run up to Wal-Mart today.  On my way, I passed the gas station where I got gas yesterday for $2.29 a gallon.  It was the same.

Forty minutes later, on my way back home, I glanced and noticed, gas was now $2.49 a gallon--same station.

Pearl got the surgeon's report on her uterine tumor that was removed.  Benign!!  I am grateful for that too.