My Precious--Well, One of Them.

Pre-race

Crossing the finish line.

This is my 2nd grandchild Susanna, as she finished her first full marathon in Eugene, Oregan.  She was suppose to run in the Boston Marathon, but let her co-workers go in her place, as they had never been there.  All of them were safe, thank Heaven's, finishing before the bomb went off.

She was a cross-country star at her high school, here in Brighton and at her college, Grand Valley State in Grand Rapids, Michigan.  

She got a job with New Balance shoe company--who's corporate offices are in Boston--she was there the weekend after the bombing and posted on FB, how eerie and surreal it was to have a morning run down Boylston Street--past the memorials.  She works a lot of the marathons, advertising the New Balance running shoes.  She had done many half marathons--this was her first full one--she looks pretty refreshed even as she crosses the finish line.

She and her hubby live in Portland, Oregon and they love it there.  It is so beautiful--I love the North West.

This is what she looks like when she isn't running:

and on their wedding day.  Isn't the grotto beautiful?

She is Karen's second child.  I am so proud of her.  She is as beautiful inside as out.  AND, I wanted a pair of New Balance walking shoes, as my old ones were high and I wanted a lower cut, so she ordered them for me.  Ordered on May 1st, I got them May 3rd, with her discount.  $70.00 pair of shoes for $40.00.  I put them on and went for a walk--no break-in required.  They feel like I've worn them for months.  

She took care of Gramma Judy real well!!

SWEET!!!

Many Pictures

Saturday after the cemetery fiasco------I stopped for a few minutes on my way home at The Farm.  Susan wanted me to see the new back porch and their new fireplace.  I love it!!!!!  They are being so careful to use any and all wood posts, wainscoating  wainscoting (apparently had that spelled wrong--I pronounce it wains coating) and doors from the old house.

You may have to click on the pix to get a better view.

The Farm houses in 1920

1990's

With little house torn down and new garage on back of Big House

November 2012

Old garages removed, new addition.

New construction of kitchen.  Those cupboards (the old ones) open up between

kitchen and dining room on other side.

New large window facing north--she can see the farm where we grew up

and where my son now lives from this view.

The new kitchen plans--the cupboards are Ivory, her appliances are

white--because she (like her older sister) likes white appliances.

The floor is slate tile looking, but it is a laminate.  Her counters will be

granite, also on the island in the middle.  

This kitchen is 6 feet wider then the old one, very open and very bright.  

I LOVE IT!!!

My friend, Bethie, is holding the plans last month when she and

I both visited Susan, after our gal pals luncheon.

The new back entryway.  Note the posts--came off the old porch entry which

was flush with the fireplace to the right.

Now--you have to look beyond all these kids--that HUGE fireplace,

with the mantle, made from a beam in one of the old barns, my Daddy

had built in 1976--it is in the dining room.  The opening behind the girls

on the right, is into the kitchen.  That will all remain the same.

New fireplace in the family room addition.  Note the bead board work on the top--

it matches the wainscoting in the rest of the house.  Facing south--a large door to

the right (west) onto the deck, and the entryway is to the left.

As part of the addition, between the kitchen and garage, she has a large utility room, with an entrance to the 3-car garage, a new small bathroom, HUGE walk-in pantry, the door being one from the old kitchen, and closets, closets, closets and yet, more closets.  There also is a new basement dug under the family room--the old basement was a Michigan Cellar--I had to bend over to get into it.  It still remains under part of the kitchen and is where the furnace, pump, water heater, etc. are.

That new addition has opened up the whole rest of the house--it gives it a different feel--a really nice feel.  The other rooms in the house are small--farm houses may look big from the outside, but they contain many small rooms inside.  Of course, there was always a parlor--used mainly for when the preacher came to visit, where the piano was kept and in my family's case, where all the funerals were held.  Gone is the musty sort of smell of my great grandmother and all the dimness that was this house.  I love the feeling when I go in--it is bright and, once again, IT IS ALIVE!!!!

================================================

The front yard--facing east--on the other side of those woods

is the farm I lived on and where Pammie lives now.  Note:

all the wildflowers growing in the lawn.  

That barn straight ahead is the old horse barn with a great loft upstairs.

My Daddy had a square dance party up there once.

  

The larger barn to the left is for hay in the loft and cattle, sheep and machine 

storage on the bottom floor.

Both of these are in excellent condition.  The pond is to the left of the

big barn.

===============================================

This means nothing to anyone except me. 

 It is the driveway into the woods between The Farm and my grandparents farm, where I raised

my children and where my daughter Pam lives.  

Pammie's farm is to the left of this--east.  

This is the woods I roamed in and played as a child and older.  I use to walk through the back of it, over to the Big Farm.  To the right a bit--in that sort of clearing, is where I wanted to build my retirement house. (sigh)

 This is where Fred and I got "married" in our hearts anyway--in the presence of God and the wildflowers.  

We took our "marriage" vows up that lane a bit.  This is the woods I dug up wildflowers and transplanted them here, back at my present home. 

Yes--I know how very fortunate I was to grow up in this area, surrounded by great grandparents, grandparents and friends.  Yes--I know how extra fortunate I am that I can still go back "home".

Sunday, Cinco de Mayo

Cinco de Mayo--I like anything with mayo on it.  Sorry--there I go again making light of a very important date in history.

Anyway--church was wonderful this morning.  We had communion.  In my church, we don't have communion every week, so, when we do, it all seems very special.  I have been practicing kneeling by my couch, to see if I could get up.  Today we had communion by in tincture--where you go up, take off a piece of bread from the loaf, and dip it in the chalice of grape juice.  Yes--I know--grape juice.  We are Methodist's--we used to use wine, but when prohibition came along, we started using grape juice and never went back.  We do not get into the whole transubstantiation thing--where the wine and bread are changed into the body and blood of Christ.  Ours is more of a symbol--a remembrance of the Lord's Supper--of what He suffered on the Cross.  We have a prayer of forgiveness of our sins beforehand and a commitment prayer to live our lives in a better way--WWJD way.

So--I digress--(always), the Pastor states that it is the Lord's Table and all who believe that Jesus was the Son of God are welcome, was crucified, dead and buried and rose on the third day and is alive in Heaven.  You don't have to be baptized--you don't have to be a member of our church or even our religion.  Everyone is welcome at the Lord's Table--I like that theory.  All SHOULD be welcome at the Lord's Table, in my humble opinion!.  So you go up, break, dip, eat and walk back to your seat.  HOWEVER--because we are Methodists and don't stand on a lot of religious dogma, you can take communion in your pew if you like, or if you can't walk to the altar.  You can take it and then go kneel at the altar rail.  You can take it and go back to your seat and then eat it.

Well--all my life, we took communion kneeling at the altar rail.  We had a small church so we went up in groups enough to fill the altar rail, then the pastor came along with the bread and we had those tiny little glasses with the grape juice in them.  It just feels more intimate, emotional to me, to be kneeling at Jesus' altar.

So today, I went up and got "The body of Christ," AMEN--over a bit to the chalice, "The blood of Christ," Amen AND THEN DEAR FRIENDS--I went over to the end of the altar rail and kneeled!!!!! I prayed a prayer of reconciliation for my daughter and I and then I got up--it was kind of hard.  I had to sort of push myself up with my hands on the rail and I sorta tweaked my new (left) hip, but I did it!!!!!
==================================
Okay--now to write a little about Dar and her visit yesterday--when she was so tired and just had to tell me why.

That's Dar's house, through my front windows.  The tan one.

As you can see, she has a double-wide.  It backs up to the woods,

but it doesn't face the street so she has no view.  

Before she bought it, Fred and I did look at it and considered buying it

for the extra room, but........I would have had to move away from my glorious Lilac

bushes so--no way.

This is my house.  It is 16 feet wide, but it is longer then Dar's AND

I am on the north side of the street so snow and ice on my parking

pad melt quicker then those on the south side.

So Dar walks in, gives a big sigh, asks about my day, which she doesn't really care to hear, and then tells me that she and her sisters-in-law had a big garage sale and in her words, "I made a fortune!"

"Well...great!" I say with a big smile.  "I saw your brother hauling stuff out and filling up the wagon yesterday."

"We made two trips with that wagon and filled up his SUV!  I worked all day Thursday and today.  We must have had 600 people come through.  I dickered with them too.  I price everything high and then I dicker and they think they're getting a deal."

"Oh.  Did you sell everything?"

"All but four pieces.  I even sold that grill of mine that doesn't work."  (Nice).

"Why would you sell something that doesn't work?"

"Oh--they got a good deal.  They can fix it."

"Did you tell them it didn't work?"

(laughs), "No--they'll find out."

This woman wonders why Jesus doesn't sit in the chair next to her bed anymore.  Hm-mm.

"I made five hundred dollars!"

"Where did you get that much to sell?"

"I emptied all of Connie and the kids stuff out of my house.  I got rid of it all."

"Did you notify Connie that you were going to give her stuff away?"

"I notified her in January.  She e-mailed back that it is her house too and that she didn't want me to give away her stuff.  She said that as soon as work slowed down in the spring, she'd come get it."

"You're going to end up having a problem again.  What is going to happen when she comes to get her stuff?  Are you going to pay her for the stuff you sold?"

"No!  I don't care what she does!  She can come to the door.  I'll call the police."

Well--isn't that nice.  Connie's name is on the title to the house, along with Dar's.  Dar moved out last summer because one of the neighbor's friends saw Dar hitting Connie's kids and told her.  Remember me telling you how she was hitting them with a broom?  She was accused of child abuse and can no longer work in the church nursery.  So--to my way of thinking, if Connie's name is on the title of the house and knowing that Connie is the one who purchased it, so her mother would have a large enough place for Connie and the kids to live in when they came from Greece--I am thinking that Connie probably has a right to take legal action against Dar.

As Pearl said, "She wants everything her way.  She wants it all when it isn't even hers.  She is going to get in trouble again and.......guess who's house she will run to when she gets all in a frantic panic."  

Thanks, Pearl!!!

===================

I didn't make a fortune Saturday, but I did make this.  I am trying to attract Baltimore Orioles to my house.  Everyone tells me to put out grape jelly because they like that better than the nectar.  So not wanting to just set it out on the porch railing and attract an army of ants, I made this hanger.

I got the filigreed pan at Wal-Mart, then put picture hanging wire in three spots--it fit through the filigree so I could tie it off good, put a pot saucer in the pan, grape jelly and tied the wires together at the top.  Then hung it from a hook that clamps onto my railing.  It is near my bird feeding station and hummingbird feeder.  I hope I get to see some of those beautiful orange and black birdies!!!

Until next time-enjoy.

Pause--Breathe--Pray

I just don't know what was wrong with me Saturday--it just was such a bad day--but really it wasn't.  That makes no sense--which is right up my alley.  Eh?

I was to meet with my sister, her hubby and the cemetery guy to see if I could be buried where I wanted to be buried--next to my Mother--and to see if Freddy could be buried down at the other end, on the other side of my sister and her hubby.

I have ordered my two markers.

 The cemetery guy is a kid I've known all his life--knew his parents, his grandparents.  He goes on and on about how many sites there are--I already knew that.  How we use to have 8 sites per lot, now only 6 because the vaults are larger--I already knew that.  Then my sister (who still retains the quickness, let's get down to business attitude of a New Yorker) got a bit impatient.  Then her hubby said, "Aren't we going to the monument place when we leave here?"  and she snapped at him and said, "NO!  We are going to Lansing, you said we had to go to Lansing this morning and straighten out that mess with our countertop."  Then he said, "Judy, how do I get to the monument place?"  and she said, "I KNOW how to get to the monument place."

GEEZ--so I turned to the cemetery guy and said, "Look, can I be buried here?" and pointed down to the spot I wanted,  "Yes or no."

He said, "Yes."

"Okay, then can Fred be buried down there?"  again I pointed.

"Yes."

"Okay--can Susan and Chuck be buried here?  Between Fred and I?"

"Yes."

"Well that's all I wanted to know.  Everything is fine.  Please call the secretary and have her put our names on the site map."

Rural people.  Farmers.  They are slow ponderers, slow talking, slow reacting.

I know--I lived that way for most of my life.  When Susan moved back and got frustrated with them--"They are so casual about things and want to talk and talk.  I am paying them to work on my house, not chit chat!"

I told her she just had to gear down, take a deep breath, and relax.

Today, I knew how she feels.

I guess after living in a fairly big city for twelve years and down here by a couple of middle sized cities--I am use to people being organized, getting things done and not taking up a whole lot of your time with casual chit chat.

I so wanted to say, "I am here on a mission--an unpleasant mission to me.  I don't need to hear about how the people who bought your grandparents farm tore down the old barn!  I don't care how your truck is about to give out.  I don't care how far you have to drive to work.  I don't care how wide or deep a grave has to be--I just want to know if I can be buried THERE!"

So--as we were leaving, the guy who puts in the cement bases for the markers drove in.  I had to go find him and pay him in advance for putting in my two bases.

He is my best friend's nephew.  So we had to chit chat a while, and that was all right.  Then the other cemetery guy came up to him and started talking about a project he had to get done TODAY.

I waited while they measured and talked and measured some more and talked and went back and forth on why the lot owner wanted the stone moved...............GEEZ.

Finally, I interrupted--the cement base builder.  "I need to write you a check."  I handed him the paper from the monument place that told the measurements for each stone.

"Oh--you got two?"

"Yes.  Site 8 on lot 110 and site 2 on lot 117."

"Oh, I don't know nothing about the lots numbers.  Take me back and show me where."

OMG--we are now probably a hundred yards from where I started out and we have to walk all the way back and my back is killing me!

So he takes a look, then he takes a look at the paper that tells the sizes--then he says, "I don't have a calculator, but I do have my phone.  I can figger it out on that."

"Okay."

"I don't have a smart phone or whatever they're called--I got this dumb phone, but people can text me and..."

For Dear Lord's sake--just give me a figure!!!!!

"Well--ya know...the bases have to be two inches larger then the marker...all around...all around all four sides."

"Yes--I know that."

"And..it is 25 cents a square inch."

"Okay."

"Ah--oops, put in the wrong figures.  ha ha."

I am going to slap this guy up side the head--I don't care who's nephew he is or how long I've known his family!"

"Ah--let me see...that'll be two hundert and ten dollars...that's for the both of 'em."

So I get out my checkbook, place it on top of the nearest monument and write him out a check.  I can barely write legible because of my crippled, arthritic right thumb, but I get er done, so to speak.

It is only when I get half-way home I start to think and realize that I wrote him a check for two hundred dollars and ten cents, instead of two hunred and ten dollars!!!  GEEZ

Then I stop at Wal-Mart and they are out of the kind of ice tea in the gallon that I like.  All they have are jugs and jugs of sweet tea.  Hey--I was raised up here in the north--I hate sweet tea.  This is a store up here in the north--why the hell would you only sell sweet tea?

Two weeks ago, I left a gallon of drinking water on the check-out carousel.  So today I ask the cashier to please make sure I have all my stuff because--"I am having a terrible day and my mind is so mixed up--it's a wonder I even remembered how to get here!"

I asked my doc to re-new my prescriptions and they called them in and Wal-Mart pharmacy filled them all!  I didn't need them ALL filled right now--71.00 worth!  GEEZ

Then my debit card doesn't seem to want to work and when it did, I hit the cancel button instead of the okay button AND then I hit the "cash back" button instead of the "No" button.  GEEZ

As I was walking away, I made sure I had my water--took a few steps and the cashier says, "Ma'am, you forgot one of your bags.  GEEZ

I went back, apologized to the older guy behind me in line for holding him up--"I'm having one of those days," I said.

"Know what ya mean," he says.  "I have them almost every day."  HAH

I had to walk 17 miles back to my car because that is the closest I could get to the store--DO NOT GO GROCERY SHOPPING ON A SATURDAY and loaded all the stuff into my trunk.  Open the drivers door, got in and just sat for a sec...until I realized the SUV next to me was pulling out and going to take my door off in the process.  Pulled it shut.....on my knee.  GEEZ

Down the road, heading for home.  Just before I got to an entrance for the freeway, this big pick-up whips in front of me--obviously he wanted to get on that ramp.  He had one of those "God is my Co-Pilot" bumper stickers and the silver fish on the rear of the car.  I scream,"Good thing God is your co-pilot because you drive like the devil straight from hell!!!"  (He can't hear me of course, windows are rolled up.)  Hey--you got the fish plate on the rear of your car, the rhinestone Jesus pin and the gold cross around your neck, you ought to act more Christian--that's just my opinion.

Backed into my parking spot at home, and open the trunk.  I forgot to ask the Wal-Mart lady to double bag my Diet Pepsi liters and the bottom of the bag rips and two fall out and roll.......one under the car and one ends up out on the street.  I go get my broom off the porch and stick it under my car and get the other one to roll out onto the street.  HEY--if I gotta bend over and pick one up from the street, I might as well bend over once and get two for the price of one--right?

I no more got everything in the house and someone is knocking at my door.

DAR!!

"How's your day?" she says.

"Not very damn good," I answer.

"Well, let me tell you about mine!  I am so tired........................................."

and on and on she goes as I put away groceries.  When she is done with her tirade, she leaves.  Never once did she take a breath and want to hear about my s**t, but that's Dar.  It is ALWAYS all about her.

I was jumpy and jittery and grouchy all the rest of the day.  Money is pouring out of here like water from a faucet.  Plus, the added thinking on my situation with the youngest daughter, and wondering if step-mom really left Susan and I something in her Will--like she told us she did!!!

I feel like I'm losing it.

No one in my family has ever had Alzheimer's--I do believe I am going to be the first!!!!


(But I WILL be smiling tomorrow--I hope.)

Stuff and Such

I woke up this morning in a state of panic.  I sat up on the edge of the bed and my hands were shaking--it felt like my whole body was trembling.  My mind was so fuzzy.  Weird.

My Buddy is so long and large that for almost a year, he can't fit in the litter box.  He would back in, then leave his hindquarters inside and put the upper half of his body outside, resting his paws on the floor.  I had the biggest, tallest litter box, known to man.  It wasn't affecting him, but I wanted more comfort for my big boy, so off to Wally World I went--on a mission to find a better bathroom for The Bud.

I got one of those plastic storage boxes that fits under a bed.  It has wheels on it.  I can roll it out to clean it and then, roll it back under the counter in the computer room.  He loves it!!  He walks into it, turns around facing forward, does his thing, covers it up and off he goes--spreading litter along the path from computer room to living room, with those big feet of his.

This morning as I was cleaning out this huge area, it reminded me raking out and smoothing a sand trap on the golf course.  Yeah--I know, I'm weird. 

Meanwhile, back in the bedroom---

Little Maggie, watching birds in the bushes.  

A Robin is building a nest in that bush.  

I think Maggie likes her new litter box too.  She romps around in it at times--flinging litter hither and yon..  Buddy is very neat.  Maggie is a very free-spirited girl. 

Then, I went into the living room and looked out the window.  A little red squirrel was down on the ground.  Knowing that Maggie loves to watch them, I yelled, "Squirrel--squirrel!" and she came running out and right up to the window.  I have never thought cats were all that intelligent--with a dog, you say "outside" or "ride" and they run to the door.  You say that to a cat and they look at you.

Maggie sure understands what Squirrel means.  Buddy was laying on the living room floor and he just looked up at me and yawned.  I have come to the conclusion--these cats are like kids.  Some are intelligent, some are more laid back and easy going and some...just don't give a rat's patootie.

I can't believe my spring flowers--the tulips and daffodils and grape hyacinth.  For the last couple of years, I have had very few blooms--even though five years ago, I planted almost 250 bulbs.  I knew they were under ground, but had come to believe that the moles had burrowed down and ate them.  AH ha--we had a "normal" winter--nice and cold, lots of snow coverage and a very wet April.  That's all we needed.  Weather conditions of the last two warm winters kept my spring bulbs at bay.  I think my Lilac bushes are going to be decadent this year--can't wait to see them bloom.

Someone needs to fill up her bird feeders.  (Lilac's to the left.)

I got the lawn mowed today--or rather my lawn mower guy came and did it.  He has charged me $15.00 a mow for years and years--well, the last five when I couldn't do it.  This year, I told him I am giving him a raise to $20.00--what with gas prices raising and all that.  Besides that, he not only mows, but trims and then goes around with the leaf blower and cleans off the porches, walkways and driveway.  AND, this morning, he got my trowel and dug up four white violets that had somehow escaped from my woodland garden and were growing gloriously in the yard--where they would have been mowed down.

I haven't seen this guy in four years--he is apricot colored.

See that little yellow flower off on the left--I have some of those in my long-neglected

gardens.  The will be dispatched before long, LOL. The bear stick is where another

daffodil or tulip will be planted this fall.

On my parent's farm, our driveway was quite long.  We had a long, wide swatch of lawn from the house to the road.  My mother loved when that area turned all yellow with Dandelions.  She thought it was beautiful--and it was.  Farm people don't really get into the whole "weed-n'-weed" thingie.  We are more natural about things.  That's kind of the way I still am--you can tell by my gardens--not too precise, sort of like the flowers just blew in on the wind and settled there to grow.

The little garden by my front porch.  Rose of Sharon bush will come alive in August.  

After the spring flowers die away, a whole lot of lilies will emerge--all the lily plants 

Fred gave me over the years.

You can't see it real well--may have to click to enlarge--over at the base of the maple tree

between it and the barren Rose of Sharon bush, are many varieties of wild flowers that I dug

up from the woods I use to live near and brought here.  (Yes, digging up wildflowers is against the

law here in Michigan--if a DNR officer had seen me, I would have been in trouble because I didn't own the property anymore.)

The May Apples have grown about 2 inches a day since Monday.  The violets are coming, as are the little pink wildflowers.  I also have Trilliums in bloom and a couple of Jack In The Pulpit which haven't

emerged as yet and some Adder's Tongue--yellow flower.  I love that area so much.

This is the west side of my porch.

This is Pearl's spring garden--I have never seen it so full of daffodils and hyacinth and tulips.  

I also made an appointment for next Wednesday for the guy to come out and power wash my unit.  I have a lot of green mold on the skirting and also the back porch.  Now that I am out more--I want everything to look gorgeous!!!  I am also going to have him power wash the cement between my unit and my garden in front.  $75.00--sigh, but......

Tomorrow I go up to the cemetery and meet with the sexton to see if I can get my grave site in the spot I want it.  Fred's won't be too difficult as we will only be burying cremains.  I, however, want the traditional burial and nowadays, the vaults that hold the caskets are larger and take up more room--because, nowadays, caskets are larger, because, nowadays, people are larger.    I want to be buried next to my Mother--hoping that is possible.  I will be the fifth generation of my family buried there.

I have ordered the grave markers, it takes 8-10 weeks for them to be ready to be laid on the slab.  

The way things have been lately, I hope the markers arrive before I do!!!    

Sorry

I am so sorry I have put you all through these last few days of my rant.  I am sorry I sullied my new, pristine blog with such garbage.  It is, as it is.  I feel such a sense of relief however--my "secret" blog, known only to a few choice friends.  Whenever asked by "others", because they couldn't find my blog anymore,  I have told everyone, even Pearl, that I deleted my blog.  "But--I liked reading all your stuff!"   I even lied to my sister and told her I had deleted it.  We are very close, we agree on everything, BUT--I really don't want her to read this junk and realize her older sister is weird and a bit off her nut, so to speak.  Mental issues--I got 'em.  Must run in the family, LOL.

I guess I have become more cynical of people--maybe a tad paranoid?  I want a place where I can let it all hang out BECAUSE--that helps get all this stuff out of my head so I can move forward.

I did realize something this morning--a few  years ago I was much more upset when she pulled one of these "disconnects".  A few years ago, I would get emotionally upset about a lot of things, but you know what--when Fred died, it gave me a new perspective.  When your soul-mate, companion, husband--that person closest to you emotionally and physically dies--anything else, just pales in comparison.

What could be worse?

Everything else that comes at you is like---WHATEVER!
============================

Now---

I am still covering all my "to do" things.  I went to my primary care doc's office and had blood drawn.  The nurse there does it so much better then the lab.  She uses a butterfly needle and is it easier to get in these old veins.  Then I got my orders for a mammogram and a chest x-ray--just got to call the hospital down the road and schedule them.  I also took in my prescription list and had the office lady renew all my scripts.

Look at this picture--please excuse the old wrinkled, arthritic hand.  It is a basketball charm--like those high school girls would have received if they played on the Varsity team.  It belonged to my friend Little Judy.  She passed away a few years ago.  Last week, at the school pals luncheon, her sister gave it to me.  She found that it opens up and inside she found tiny little pieces of paper with writing on them.  She wondered if I remembered what was written on the papers.  I sure did!!!

Judy and I were at the Michigan State summer music program.    We both played in the concert band and she was in the choir and I was in the orchestra.  That is where I met Richard Spencer Dunham--who came out to visit me two Sunday's ago.

One night in our dorm room, Judy opened up the charm and we each took a couple pieces of paper and wrote our initials and our boyfriends initials on the paper.  We each had two pieces of paper.  She wrote:
JB + RT and JB +FL.  I wrote on mine, JW + GM and JW + RD.  We stuck them in the ball and vowed that we would open it up again in twenty-five years and see which of the guys we had married.

She and RT were going together, but he died and she never married.  I married GM.  I think she must have forgotten about our vow--I know I sure did.

Now--57 years later, I have it and the tiny pieces of paper inside with the initials on them.  Do you know what a treasure this is for me?
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Today I tested out my new hips.  I haven't been able to work in the garden for four years.  Four years ago, I was in bad shape.  Three years ago, I had my first surgery, but my left hip was still in huge pain.  Two years ago--I still couldn't do anything.  Last year at this time, I was using a walker and barely able to walk, let alone bend over or lift anything.  THIS YEAR--TODAY--I went into my storage shed, loaded up my wheelbarrow with garden ornaments, and stuff for my porch and hauled it out and put it to good use.  Then, because I am such an idiot, I lifted the two big tub planters off the back porch where I had tomatoes planted in them last spring, put them both into the wheelbarrow and pushed them out to the front of my house. Lifted them out and positioned them.  They were heavy as the soil is still very wet.  I will plant them both with Fuchsia colored geraniums, dark blue/purple Wave petunias and light pink Impatiens.

Then, I took my porch chairs (plastic, not fancy) and the plastic table that matches, put them in the wheelbarrow and pushed it out to my hose spigot.  Sprayed them all with Fantastic, scrubbed them with a stiff bristled brush and rinsed them off.  They are now back on my porch and looking nice.

I went across the road to Bordine's (a garden shop) and bought a 20# bag of Miracle Grow potting soil and 3 of those kinds of planters that sit on/over the porch railing.  My railing is 6 inches wide, so I had to get the bigger ones.  Took my great grandmother's pickle crock and put it on the top step--it will be filled with a mixed color of Impatiens--as will the railing planters.  Put my little rose bush that my gal pals got for step-mom's funeral on the porch table.

Then I walked around my front perennial garden and put sticks in bare spots where I want to plant more spring flowering bulbs this fall.  Put my solar light hummingbirds thingies in that garden.

Now, I know this doesn't look like much, but, the last two springs I have had 2 tulips and 4 daffodils.

This winter with the good snow coverage and lots of spring rain, those tulips I knew were

down there, came up.  Multi-colored Impatiens will go in the standing pot and some Silver Falls in the front which will grow into a nice trailing, sort of "drape" for the front of the pot.  That white pot in

the background is one of the heavy ones I lifted off the back porch.  It will contain the geranium, petunias and impatiens.

The rocks in this garden came from the farm where I was born, the farm where I lived and the

Centennial Farm where my sister lives.  Also on this end, a large rock that looks like a brain

that my mother gave me in 1964 and a crystal  (Geode) from Fred's mother.  

After I rested a bit, I hung up my MSU wind chime, humming bird feeder and  my small American Flag that goes on one of the porch planters.

Then I moved my metal trash can of bird seed, off the porch and back down near the bird feeders AND took my trash barrel, filled it up and hauled it out for garbage pick-up tomorrow.

I could only work for about 20 minutes at a time and my back kept hurting, so I'd have to rest, but---HEY--I AM GARDENING AGAIN!!!  The hips feel fine.  This evening, I got out my garden file--the last time I worked on it was 2009--and started figuring what I needed, and made out my list of what plants to buy.

When I go to my ortho surgeon end of month for my x-ray check-up on my hip replacements, I am going to ask him if I can ride my bike again--haven't done that in 4 years either.

I can hardly wait until mid-May when it is safe to plant my annuals.  I will take so many pictures you are going to be bored with looking at them.

OH--I can't wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Back still aches a little tonight, but it recovers so much quicker since I got my hips fixed--it is an absolute miracle!!!!!!!!!!!!

One More Rant and then...........

Thank you all so much for your support--you cannot imagine how much it means to me--you really can't.  If my Freddy was still here, he would be hearing the rants and he would calm me and make it all better, but...he doesn't communicate real well with me lately--you guys are all I've got.  Honestly!!!
====================

Karen called me earlier wanting to know if we could get together for lunch on Mother's Day.  She would call Pam and "J".  I told her not to call "J" as she wouldn't want to join us.  When she asked why, I said, "Apparently I have done something to--as she said, defame her character, and now she wants no contact with me."  Karen replied in her caring manner as she always does, "Oh, Mom.  I am so sorry.  I didn't know.  Well, you know..............she gets that way sometimes.  It will be all right.  I will pray for reconciliation."  I wish I had 10 daughter's like Karen in my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Wondering and pondering and remembering......September 2011, just before her 4th was born.  I was at her home--some of her friends were there and she introduced us.  One asked, "Are you from around here?"

I told the lady where I lived and then (gasp) went on to say, "We are originally from Byron."

"Oh--I've heard of that.  Isn't it a small town north of here?"

"Yes.  We lived about four miles west of town on a farm."

A day later I got a nasty e-mail.  She did not want any of her friends to know that she came from a small town high school and certainly not that she grew up on a farm.  She didn't even want them to know she went to Michigan State instead of University of Michigan (the snob college in our state.)  I had embarrassed her in front of her friends.  She went on a no speaking to me campaign that lasted about three weeks.

I told my oldest daughter Pam about this and she replied, "Well I'm proud I live on the farm and I am damn well never leaving!"

I later told my youngest that she should be proud of her background.  Look at all she had accomplished--coming from a small high school, a small town.  Her heritage was built near that farm we lived on.  In fact when she was recruited and hired by the law firm in Boston, she asked her mentor why her.  Why not the diplomats daughter who had gone to Vassar.  Why not the rich man's daughter who had graduated from Harvard.  Her mentor told her, "Because you are down to earth.  You come from a strong mid-west pioneer heritage.  You are honest.  Our clients will believe anything you tell them because of those attributes."
=======================

One time to me, she referred to Pam as a "red neck hillbilly" and I told her that wasn't a nice thing to say about her sister.  Yet, (as was pointed out to me by a friend last night) this red neck hillbilly is the one basically raising my youngest kids.  But--to my youngest, this shows her charity--her generosity.  Her oldest sister had no job so she hired her and "made her life better."  All about the image.

When I visited my step-mother with my youngest, in the hospital, my other daughter Karen had just left.  My youngest stood in the family room and said to my step-sisters, "Oh I suppose Karen was in there saying her Catholic prayers over Gram."  The step-sisters didn't react because that is the kind of remark they would have heard their mother say, so...............  I was so flummoxed, I didn't know what to say.  Then the step-sister's husband said, "At a time like this---we can use prayers of all kinds--from every one who wants to pray."  Then I said, "Maybe I could go find a Rabbi so we would touch all bases?" and everyone laughed.

My youngest used to be a Catholic.  Now she is a Lutheran and apparently being a Catholic is no longer cool?  Well--I have told you of my Catholic daughter Karen's family and her children and what a wonderful, deeply, loving, giving, nice family they are.  It would serve my youngest well if she had stayed Catholic--no--wait--probably it wouldn't matter.  She has a high presence in her church and the school--it is all about image-remember.

One more thing,  she said, in her e-mail, that she had spoken with her pastor and other church members and told them what I did and they told her, "Honor thy Mother doesn't come in to play in this kind of situation."  Can you honestly believe that any religious person would say something like that--especially a pastor?  Any time I attended her church--all during Lent--every sermon had forgiveness in it--loving people--even flawed people.  "Hate the sin, love the sinner. " I think she's lying to make me feel bad and never show my face in her church again--actually she has forbidden that and I can't go into the kids school either--not even in the parking lot because I might embarrass them  (Oh yes, that's right.  I have a 15 year old Dodge Stratus--she has a Mercedes or is it a BMW--I don't know--it's some big assed black SUV--who gives a rip).  I know my church would never tell someone that.  My pastor would tell her to sit down and talk out your differences, show respect and love and come together.

I am still puzzled about what she saw on my blog.  Didn't you all see the "nice" obituary I posted about my step-mom and said how well she had taken care of my Daddy, how she was so admired and respected by the community.  Do you all know I practically vomited writing that post about the nasty, snarky woman--but wondering at the time, if there was a "spy"--something told me.

WHATEVER.
=========================

I could go on and on, but that would be too much for me and bore you to tears.  So--anyway

When I think of what I went through to bring that kid into this world...........Oy Vey!

I had a 14, 12 and 10 year old.  I was done having kids, as far as I knew.

I had been on the "pill" for ten years and the doc wanted me to go off them for awhile.  Husband said he would get a vasectomy--had the appointment--chickened out.  Made another appointment the next month--chickened out.  By the third month, I was pregnant.

He was livid!!

I know, nowadays women have their first babies at 32, but not back then.  Most of my friends had all their kids by the time we were twenty-five.  Even my very best friend thought I was nuts!

I went to the doctor, he did a urine test and said I wasn't pregnant.  I knew I was.  I had a urine test every three weeks for four months--it was only when I started feeling "life" that the doctor said, "Well, either you're pregnant or that is the fastest growing tumor I have ever seen."  No sonograms back in those days.

I was actually very happy.  I love babies.  The only time I ever felt loved in my life--that little, dependent baby who grows up (for a few years) thinking Momma is the best thing ever invented.  Husband, on the other hand, demanded I go to New York State and have an abortion--the only state it was legal in, in 1971.  I refused.  He said he would divorce me if I didn't.  I refused.  I am so glad that abortion wasn't legal back then--he probably would have forced me into it some way.

My Dad called me a fool and my step-mother said, "Why are you going through with this.  Aren't three enough for you?  Go out and work in the garden--that's how I got rid of the ones I didn't want."  (Oh yes--what a wonderful woman.)

Husband claimed it wasn't his.  Couldn't be his.  Demanded to know who the father was--who I was having an affair with.  He left for six weeks.

So--he came back.  The kids were excited, but when Dad was home, we didn't say anything about babies--only when he was gone.

Then, I got Toxemia.  The doc said it was very serious.  I could lose the baby or if I went full term, I could die during or after delivery.  They put me on a water pill and I went to bed for several days--laying on my left side.  The blood pressure went down, the headache went away.  I got back up and went back to mothering.

The baby was due November 17th--it was deer hunting time here in Michigan.  He always went deer hunting with a bunch of his buddies--this year he certainly wasn't going to stay home just because a baby was due.

She was late--thank goodness, but, I could have had her all alone--he never really wanted any children so he never took any great interest when the others were born.

I had a name picked out--Matthew.  She arrived twelve minutes after midnight on December 3rd.  A hard, eighteen hour labor--I took no drugs--I refused the gas mask they offered in the delivery room--I wasn't taking any chances.  Two nurses delivered her, as the doctor was at a movie.  She looked exactly like her father--my husband.  She was born " in the caul" over her forehead.  That is suppose to mean she would have special intuitive powers, good luck and destined for greatness.  .

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caul

I let the other kids pick out her name, just so she had my mother's name as her middle one.  Of course, they picked out the most popular name for 1971.

I didn't die and neither did she and she was beautiful and grew into a wonderful little, strong willed girl with an IQ of over 150 by age seven.  She skipped fifth grade, graduated Valedictorian and top in her senior class at Michigan State--was a Phi Beta Kappa and could have studied abroad at Oxford.  She worked and got scholarships and grants to go to college because Daddy decided he didn't want to help.

Then she went to live a year in Spain where she knew no one and got a job teaching English to elementary school kids, came back and moved to Boston, where she knew no one, to go to North Eastern Law school, where she graduated with the highest honors.  (She wanted to go to Harvard--had been accepted, but couldn't afford the price.)  She worked and put herself through Law School and received her JD PhD three years later.

Was recruited and hired by the biggest and most prestigious law firm in Boston.  Had a disastrous marriage that ended five months after the wedding and cost her $20K to get out of.  The day of the wedding Pam tried to persuade her to leave the church--we all knew it was not going to work, but she was worried about what people would say.

She then met a wonderful man, in a story book romance sort of way, married again, has four beautiful, very smart children and makes 6 figures a year salary. (No one in his family nor her children know she was married before).  Could I do a lot of damage with that secret!!  Would I?  Of course not!!!

She has worked very hard.  She lives in a million dollar mansion, which they recently added on to.  She is one lucky woman--very "A" type personality and at times, I think she may be bi-polar.

I have never told her that her father didn't want her.  I have never told her of how her step-grandmother lied about me to her and the way she was manipulated or the snarky things her step-grandmother said to me about her.  Although apparently, in the last four years her step-gram has said to her, "You don't have to visit me anymore.  We aren't related anymore you know.  Your grandpa died--so we aren't related."  which hurt my youngest, but she went to the Hospice every day and was with her step-gram when she died.  Apparently her step-gram didn't hurt her enough to break contact with HER!!

I would never be so vindictive to her as she has been to me.  I would never tell her children anything bad about her.

I love her.  I am proud of her.  And this is all I'm going to post about my youngest.

Now--I am going to take a Melatonin and go to bed.  I will pray for reconciliation too.  So we will have Catholic prayers going up and Protestant prayers going up.  If I could just find a Rabbi--I'd be all set!!

-----------------------

Oh yeah--husband did get the vasectomy--when she was a year old.  In about 6 months, he started having impotency problems, hee hee.

One last question--WHAT IS WRONG WITH HER???