Dwindling down........

.....and I think, this was the quickest year I lived!!!!

BB please send me an e-mail telling me how I can access your blog again.
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December 27th, 2018--at Karen & Mark's.

On my drive down to their place, I wondered if my oldest granddaughter Helene might be pregnant again.  For some reason, I have had that feeling for about a month.  Thinking it would be gauche to ask, I made myself promise not to even think about it.

Karen & Mark's addition they put on that year.  Most people in their mid-50's, with all their kids gone, might consider downsizing.  Not the Rivards.  They do everything together as a family and with marriages and grand children going to be arriving in the next couple of years, they decided they need more room, not less.  So they added on, like half a house, for their dining and family room.

I was the first to arrive and captured my seat at the far end of that big sectional--the section that has a foot rest.

I wanted to wear my comfy jeans and a turtle neck, but  decided I should dress up a bit and put on dress slacks that were a bit too uncomfortable in the waist and a dress top.

Everyone else showed up in jeans and comfy tops!!!

Karen & my son's wife Cindy seated--my Pammie in the elf shirt and Marcus' new bride Morgan, standing behind him.  My BIL Chuck, SIL Mark, sister's two grand girls, my sister, my empty seat and granddaughter Susanna on the hassock. 

We played a Charades-like game.  You can see my green, red and white slippers and Della watching, as Karen set up the game.

Gosh--it was fun, even I got 2 whole points.  My granddaughter Helene was the last one to play.  On her last word, she pointed to her tummy.  My sister, seated next to me yelled, "Hungry".  I yelled "pregnant"...then Helene held up two fingers.   Wait.  What?

Then Helene said, "Gramma.  I'm pregnant.  With twins!"

I almost fell getting out of that recliner to run and hug her!  Twins?  Due in early July and, if they come early, Helene said she was going to have them on June 21st, my 80th birthday. 
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Setfan & Maddie, Della, Helene& Mike, Me, Marcus,(Morgan had to leave), Susanna, ( her fiance couldn't make the trip), Carolyn & Stephen.

In chronological order--Helene 33, Susanna 31, Marcus 29, Stephen 25, Madeleine 22.
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My son Mark taking a nap.  He is not feeling well at all.  So bloated from all the cancer drugs/steroids he is on and in a lot of pain from his back.    

Then--this was brought out.  All the Rivard's went in together to get me a TV that I can actually see.  Mark and Karen came up the next day to set it up for me.  See the smaller one above it? I went from 32" to 43".  YOWZA.

Hey!  Not everyone is lucky enough to be able to have the time to post on their blog on busy Christmas Day.  I am one of them.

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No White Christmas for us and...I don't care.  It makes traveling around a whole lot easier...and travel I did, yesterday.  It was Christmas Eve and I needed to be Home.

Well you see, for the last 100+ years and all of my life, our family--that is the Walts family, always celebrated Christmas on Christmas Eve. Christmas Day we ran around to other Grand Parents or Aunts houses. Since our families have grown and grand children are grown, we can't always get together on the Eve. We will have our big family gathering on the 27th this year. 

You know how I am about tradition!! My middle name is Tevya! I just couldn't stand the thought of not being at The Farm on Christmas Eve, so my sister invited me up--her husband, her son and his two daughters were there too. She has her house decorated beautifully, as usual, 5 decorated trees, wreaths in every window, along with candles in every window, upstairs and down. The minute I walked in, I knew I had found Christmas. How fortunate I am to still have family members living in the homes I grew up in. Ah-hh. 

It was perfect.  A nice small group, we could each talk to each other and hear each other.
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Last night, after I got home, I was remembering a Christmas Eve, some 30+ years ago.  Recently divorced, I was feeling particularly sad.  I felt uncomfortable in my home church, where I had attended since I was born--for 45 years.  Being divorced, when I walked in on Sunday mornings, I could see the gossips, sitting on the far side of the sanctuary, look at me then put their heads together and whisper. I had also been told, by one of those well-meaning women, that because of my circumstances, I should no longer sing in the choir.  Bad example you know.

I transferred my church membership to a small church in the neighboring town.  From my first Sunday, in that little church, I had felt so welcomed and cared for, even though they were aware of my “circumstances” they just loved me and the choir director insisted I join the choir. I can remember her words.

"Judy, I want you in my choir. Rehearsals are Thursday night at seven-thirty."

"Oh...no...I can't...well, I'm divorced and...well  you know...a sinner, I guess."

"Well in this church, we put all the sinners up front in the choir so the congregation can keep an eye on them!"

I replied, "See ya Thursday night!"

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That year, there was going to be a Christmas Eve service at 7:00 and also at midnight.  Since my family always celebrated our Christmas on Christmas Eve evening, I couldn’t make the 7:00 service.  I got home around 9:30 and decided to go to the Midnight service.

There were only about 25 of us.  One candle was lit on the altar, the organist, softly playing a Christmas hymn.  After the message, the Pastor asked us to stand up, join hands and make a circle.  

He said a prayer then we held lit candles and sang Silent Night.  The Pastor requested, as we left, to not say a word…to go out into the dark night knowing the light of the world had come to drive the darkness away.

As we walked out, I heard the person who opened the front door, gasp.  We all crowded out onto the front steps, and were greeted with pure, white gently falling, big fat snowflakes. It hadn’t snowed much that winter and we thought there would be no white Christmas.

I remember hugs and tears and quiet whispers of merry Christmas.  Even as we walked to our cars and started them to drive home, everything seemed muffled in quiet peace.

Many Christmas Eves have come and gone and I remember quite a few of them, but that Christmas Eve. 30+ years ago, was the most spiritual and awe inspiring one I have ever experienced and I will never forget the feeling of love and peace that covered me that special night.  

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Merry Christmas my Dear Friends.  May the Light of the World cover you with many blessings.

Quite an adventure yesterday.

I had to get groceries and for some reason, instead of going to Meijer, I went to Walmart. I didn't take the electric cart because I thought maybe walking would be good for my back. It wasn't.

By the time I got to the check-out, I was having spasms in my back, something I have never had before.

As I was walking slowly out, someone called my name...it was the guy that shovels out my driveway in the winter. He offered to put my groceries in the trunk of the car for me. What a relief.

As I drove home, I wondered how I was going to unload my car--even using my cart that goes up the steps, to pull it up was going to just about put me under.

"Please God, give me strength to do this":

As I neared my driveway, I noticed a car in my drive. It was the guy! He hauled all my groceries into the house for me and sat them up on the kitchen counter so I wouldn't have to bend over to pick them up off the floor to put them away.

You don't believe in God's providence? If I had gone to Meijer, like I planned, I never would have met him and never got the help I so desperately needed.

I know he's out of work and I know where he lives--he drove several miles out of his way to stop here. I had $10.00 left from my grocery money and I gave it to him to help with gas for his car.

I also gave him a hug, a kiss on the cheek, a Merry Christmas and a God Bless you, Dan.

God works in mysterious ways.....................

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Then when I got home, there was a message on my phone that my prescription was filled and ready to be picked up--at Walmart.  So I had to go in this afternoon and get it.  Of course, the parking lot is filled, so again, I had to walk 457 thousand miles and then stand in line at the pharmacy.

...and when I got home today, there is another message on my phone telling me the inkjet cartridges I ordered are in and ready for pick-up....in the other town I live near, Brighton.  ARGGH!!!  The traffic will be even worse in that town.

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I have discovered that my back doesn't hurt when I bend over--weird, huh?  It only hurts when I walk, so around the house, I have been walking, bent over at the waist with my arms hanging down alongside my legs.  This might be a good thing....I can see better with my face nearer the floor so I won't trip on a rug or cat and...I'm not as conscious of the clutter on my kitchen counters/table/etc. 

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I have a total of 78 hours into this genealogy, that I started Nov. 12th.

I have the pedigrees done, the book written, well over 130 pages.

Now all I have to do is print out the book, insert the pedigrees and get the book bound. I just might have it finished by years end.

My client gave me a plastic storage box, filled with file folders, scraps of paper, letters and a few photos. She wanted me to organize the 6 different families into a book. 

On my research, I found more photos and family bios. Even with her accumulated research, she is going to be surprised at what additional generations and information I found.
This has been a fabulous adventure--England, France, Sweden, Netherlands, Germany, Scotland and Canada.
What a trip!!!!!!!
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The Winter Solstice is tomorrow--along with a full moon and a meteor shower.  It might be best to just stay inside, but if you do go out--beware of falling objects from the sky.

I took my computer into rehab Thursday early morning.  

I can tell how pitiful my life is because, being without my computer was like being without my soul mate!!!  I wandered around the rest of the day, not knowing what to do!

Friday I had figured out that it would be a good time to get some other stuff done.  My back was still pretty sore, but I noticed I could vacuum the bedroom while sitting on the bed, the bathroom, while sitting on the toilet and the living room while scooting around in my (wheeled) office chair--cleaned up the office that way too and dusted the office.  The cat's litter box is in here and it makes so much dust when I clean it out every day.  I gotta try that "dustless" cat litter I see advertised.

I also got my "baby boy" blanket done.

I also got the 3" memory foam I had ordered and cut a new piece for my office chair.  Buddy Cat seemed to like it so much, I cut him some too.  It is behind my recliner, where he likes to lay.

I also got to watch more TV than usual and saw some real edifying programs on history and politics and the Bible.

I got my computer back Saturday afternoon.  They had put it into a machine that blows all the dust and dirt out of it.  Then they hook it up to some sort of program that ran for 24 hours and takes out all viruses, temporary files, cookies, malware--all that bad stuff that can use up hard drive space, slow the computer down, and cause big time problems.

I was having advertisements pop-up while working in my Family Tree or even Word Documents.  None of those are hooked up to the Internet, so I had no clue how the ads were getting through.

All that has been taken care of!  My computer now runs at the speed of sound.

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Thursday I went for my eye appointment.  My cataracts have not grown in 3 years--YAY, so no need of surgery just yet.  I did need some more "power" in my glasses, so I got a prescription and will get a new pair....soon.  All the glasses places are going back to the heavier plastic frames, which I have always preferred over these thin metal ones, but they all seem to be in dark colors.  I don't think my gray hair and pale skin are going to look good in a dark frame, but I will see when I go looking.

====================

My back seems to be getting a bit better today.  It has localized to just one spot.  I can feel the swelling over the "owie" spot.

I had to make a Pepsi run and the store parking lot was filled, so I had to walk a long ways to the store.  I took my cane to help.  When I got in the store, I saw 8 electric carts all charged up and ready to go.  Why not?" I said, jumped in one, put my purse and cane in the front basket, and tooled all over the store.  Such fun!

The Pepsi is always way at the back of the store, so I went there first, then heading up toward the check-out area, I went up and down aisles I have never been before.  Always walking and pushing my cart, I'd get a sore back and tired out.  This way, just riding around in my little buggy, I could go anywhere I wanted.

Because I was parked so far out, I asked the cashier if I was allowed to take the cart out to my car, she said, "Sure.  I'll get someone to bring it back to the store for you."

YOWZA!!!

Pretty soon this little lady came up and introduced herself.  She told me her name was "Jody"--she told me exactly 4 times her name was Jody and not many girls are named Jody and it is a boy's name, but she is Jody.  All the while I am driving along, she is walking beside the cart and expounding on her name....just in case I had forgotten, is "Jody.  My name is Jody."

She loaded my few purchases in the trunk of the car, helped me to my car, practically making me fall into the seat, she was so eager to help, then told me, "The next time you come, call the manager from your car and I will come out and pick you up.  Just ask for Jody."  Then she drove the cart back to the store.

I have seen her before.  She is the one that goes out and gets all the carts out of the corrals and takes them back into the store.  A bit dim, but she sure does her job with great care and compassion.

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Today, I am once again working on the genealogy and have a MichiganState Basketball game to watch at 5:00.

We are coming down towards Christmas week, which means I am going to have to go to the store again to get ingredients for the Taco Chip Dip I always make.

I think I will take the electric cart again!!!!!!!!

Hi.  My name is Judy.  Didja forget me?

Thanks Debra Edwards!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Merry Christmas.

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I am pleased to report that my internal traffic problem has been solved!! It took 7 days, but we are fine.

I am still dealing with severe back pain and don't know what to do about that.  There probably is nothing that can be done about it.  Spinal stenosis, degeneration of the discs, herniated discs and spurs.

It is getting very difficult for me to walk or stand very long, but.....

I suppose sitting here at the computer for 4 hours, working on this genealogy does not help, although I do get up every hour to walk to the bathroom and I walk out to get my mail.

It is just a constant pain, except when I lay down.  It doesn't impede my sleep at all and for that I am grateful.

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I did make it to Maddies performance in the Nutcracker--13 years in a row now I have attended.  I kidded her that this might be her last year.  She's getting married end of May, I expect she'll be pregnant before December.  LOL

It seems like only last year, she was

dancing this role.

 I don't know how she finds the time.  She is in nursing school, plus works at the hospital, she teaches ballet, drops in daily to help an elderly woman and is planning her wedding.  She said that dancing is her way to wind down.  That it releases all her stress and makes her so happy.

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I finished the test pattern I was working on for the Baby Girl blanket.  The minute I posted a photo of it on Face Book, my cousin called and wanted to buy it from me for her expected baby girl great grand daughter.  I tried to explain to her that it wasn't perfect.  That in some places the spacing was off, but she insisted.

So I invited her to come for a visit Monday.  We had a good chat.  We talked politics AND religion and although we are polar opposites on the political side and she is a much more liberal christian than I am, we had a great time and we never ever called each other a name or got mad.  It was so nice to have company.

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My sister and I have solved the family not having the traditional Christmas EVE.  We are having our own!!!!!  I have ordered a book from Amazon to be delivered to her address.  She says she has presents for me.  Since there is a "no presents" policy this year--we can't very well give each other our gifts in front of the others, so....I will drive up to The Farm on Christmas Eve noon and we shall do our own thing.

That way, I can see all her beautiful Christmas decorations.  She goes all out with gorgeous trees in each room!!  and an all crystal and pink one in the living room.

I have put up none--well I did put up a cross stitch of a Christmas Angel and I threw a Christmas themed pillow on my couch and that's it.  

I can remember a few years ago, when an older friend announced that she was not going to put up a Christmas tree.  "How can you not do it?"  I asked.  "I will never, not put up a Christmas tree!  Never."

Yeah....well.  I have since apologized to her, because I am that way now.  

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Dar is back to work!!!!  Just like she maintained she would--nearly 3 years ago after her car accident.  When doctors, physical therapists and friends kept telling her to get used to it, that she would never work at cashier again, she always maintained she would.  I don't know why.  She doesn't need the money and she got a very good settlement from her accident.

For the past three years, ever since her Dad came to live with her, if she was at a doctors appointment and running a bit late, she'd call me and I'd have to run over and tell Dad, not to worry.  That she was just running late.

Now she leaves the 97 year old guy home alone for 8+ hours and doesn't seem to worry about him.  Dar is a very social person and she has just about gone nuts these past years, because she couldn't get out and be with people.

She is one of those kinds of people that has to go somewhere every day.  She gets into a panic if we get 2" of snow.  Even if it is only to drive to town to get coffee, she has to go every day.

Well, now she has a place to go.

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Pearl is not doing well.  Merle is the sick one with Parkinsons, but he still walks everyday and on Thursdays, after the garbage men leave, Merle comes along the street and brings everyone's garbage pail up to their door.

The ambulance has been to their house 3 times this month and it isn't even the middle of the month yet.  Pearl falls.  She doesn't faint and fall, she can just be standing in front of the sink and her legs give out and down she goes.  Merle can't get her up--she is heavy, so he has to call the ambulance.  The ambulance people now know and when Merle tells them, "she's all right, she's just fallen", they just come in the rescue truck or car and two guys get out and into the house and pick her up and put her in her chair.

I saw Merle and her daughter helping Pearl out of the house and down the steps and into the car so they could drive up town and go through the drive through for supper.  At least she had a treat that day.

They had a company put in a ramp two years ago for her, but she has never used it.  She says it is too far to walk on it and get to the car.  Trying to get up and down the porch steps gets her nearer where their car is parked.

I need to get down there for a visit--if I can manage to walk that far without crying from the back pain.Oh...that sounded selfish.  I'll get there one way or another.  Maybe stop on my way home from somewhere and walk from car to her living room and then drive myself home.  

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We were kind of concerned.  My son went in for his three month check-up and his "numbers" were up.  So he had to go back for an MRI.  The report showed that his tumors are still dormant, have not grown and he is still in remission.  The Doc doesn't know why his PSA numbers were up, but my son is fine.  

Of course, me not being on the "girls" text contact list, I am out of the loop.  So I e-mail my sister to find out what is going on.

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I guess that's it for my exciting life.  I will try and do better with my posting--I keep saying that and I keep failing.  Just know I'm okay, but real busy with this genealogy.  The biggest one I have ever done!  and   I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, my resolve to post more often seems to remain unresolved.  I noticed, it has been another week.

I am such an undisciplined person!  I am easily distracted too.  I have a lot going on.  I lead a very boring life.

Let's see--last Monday we had such a snow storm that I cancelled my hair cut appointment.  Oh, By the way, it is 54 degrees and raining today.

I went to my hair cut appointment on Tuesday and walked out of there with probably....No--actually the worse hair cut I have ever had.  Which seems weird because this stylist has cut my hair a half dozen times, so she should know how I like it.

I like it short, but.........I came out looking like someone's 79 year old grandfather!!!  She cut around my ears--that is fine, but the hair on the sides is 1/4" short and...she cut off my side burns!!!!!  AND...she practically shaved the back.  Like I said, I look like a gray haired man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  So, when this gray, wiry hair starts to grow out, those sideburns are going to stick out like General Burnsides!!!!!!!!!!!!  I kid you not!!!

Wednesday morning I woke up early with a sharp pain in my left side.  It came and went, so I assumed it had something to do with my kidneys.  I drank water and more water and even more water.  The next morning the pain had subsided a bit, but an even worse pain had settled in my lower back.  Somewhat like the "normal" lower back pain I have constantly, but much worse.

I put my heated rice sock on the area.  Then I put on an ice pack.  Sat with my T.E.N.S device vibrating for a few hours and then finished up with a good rubbing in of horse linament.  I mean, real linament they use on horses.  I get it at the farm supply store.

That pain continued all day Friday and then it occurred to me that I was constipated.  I eat a lot of fiber and just like a cow, that eats too much hay and corn, I was bloated up and needed relief.

Relief takes days.  I used to have some "blockage" busting laxatives that worked over night and gave me two days of diarrhea.  I don't have them any more.  I was too the point of wishing I had that stuff we have to drink before a colonoscopy!  So, I started with the Miralax--which takes 2-3 days to really work.

It occurred to me this morning that I haven't walked enough to keep my system working correctly.  Hours sitting in front of this computer, working on a genealogy is not good.  Hours sitting in my recliner watching football and basketball games is not good either.

I feel a little better today, but still the pain in my lower back, which I suppose could be caused by the blockage.  

We have 28 miles of intestines inside us.  I do believe the traffic is blocked up near the 5 mile sign post from the exit ramp.  
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The past week, other than working on this gigantic genealogy, which you know I love doing--I managed to get my Christmas Cards made--plus special ones for the grand kids, kids and sister and a Channukah card for my grand daughters mother-in-law.  Plus I have 4 December birthdays that I made cards for.

My bonus daughter Chris always mails me Christmas stamps, and I have greeting card envelopes, so I am all set.  I just hope I don't forget to put them in the envelopes and mail them.  Around the 10th maybe?

Then next Saturday Karen is taking me to the Nutcracker.  Madeleine is dancing again this year.  She also teaches ballet classes, goes to nursing school and is preparing for her May wedding.

Then on the 13th I have an appointment that took me 4 months to get at the Opthalmologist to get my eyes checked.  I know I need new glasses...don't have the money for them yet, but this genealogy will help cover some of the cost.  I just hope the Doc doesn't think I need cataracts removed.  I do not have time for that!!!!!!!

Because of the eye appointment, I will miss our Gal Pals luncheon on that day.  Which honestly?  Is okay with me.  I am not in the mood to drive that far, well, it's not really faaaaaaar, only like 40 minutes, but.......I really don't have the $$$ for the gas and lunch AND most importantly, if I am to be really honest, Liz, the Senile Senior is really a mood killer, probably because any of her "stories" always seem to include me---even though they never happened and I was not involved.

Or am I senile and have forgotten I was there with her? 

I just found out that my blog was hacked last week!

Apparently, some old, lonely, cranky woman got into my blog and posted a real pity party for herself.  She was writing under my name and impersonating herself as me!  The nerve!

Well, I've finally gotten rid of her and will try to keep her out.  How she gains access is beyond me, but every now and then, she sneaks in.

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My daughter Karen and her hubs Mark, spent Thanksgiving with his mother.  His Dad died just a few weeks ago, and his siblings live out of State.  It was nice that they could be with her.  Those first holidays are so tough on new widows.

Karen called me that night to tell me she missed not being with me on Thanksgiving and that she loved me.  Then Saturday she called again on their way home and made arrangements to pick me up on December 8th to go to the Nutcracker performance to watch Madeleine dance.

Pam called on Friday.  She had spent Thanksgiving day with her friend and his family--she spends each Thanksgiving with them.

Son Mark and his "wife" always spend Thanksgiving with her family.  They usually spend the weekend there and come home on Sunday.

I got all my laundry done that day and had time to sit and crochet on a new project and watch a couple of really good classic movies.

Friday, which seemed like another holiday because regular TV programming was kaput.  My Soap was pre-empted by a stupid hockey game.  So I worked on a genealogy.

Yesterday, I watched the BIG game--big in this area anyway.  University of Michigan played The Ohio State University.  I despise U of M as much as anyone, so I was whooping a lot as Ohio State trounced their arrogant A**es.  

My newly married Grandson Marcus, who graduated from U of M, and his lovely wife, who is a rabid Ohio State fan, had a game watching party.  I wouldn't have wanted to be there!  I hope their marriage can withstand these yearly bouts of intense rivalry.

Our family has always been very competitive when it comes to sports and games.   Nobody gets mad, but the winners do strut around for awhile.  I distinctly remember when Karen was 10, the first time she beat me at Canasta.  She ran through the house, upstairs and down, waving the score sheet,  yelling, "I beat Mom!  I beat Mom." and the other kids and Dad gave me a good "nah, nah, nah, a nah, nah."  We learn early on how to be a good loser.

BTW--she still has that score sheet, packed away in a cedar chest.

Karen's large family has taken on this attitude.  Their kids, as were mine, were taught how to play games and cards when they were young.  They were playing Chess at 10 years old.  I taught mine how to play Backgammon at about that age.  

We always had a game day between Christmas and New Years.  We'd all stay in our pajamas, even Dad, and play different games.  Have a Backgammon tournament or an intense game of Sorry.

Karen kept this tradition going.  I went one year and found myself involved in a game of Trivial Pursuit.  How those kids thought they could beat grandma and all the wisdom in her brain was beyond me and of course, I beat them all.  I even got up and did a "strut" around the big dining room table.   After that, whenever the kids wanted to play Trivial Pursuit, there were calls for, "I want Gramma on my team"...ah the joy of it all.

Part of that is supposed to take place on December 27th when we get together for our Holiday family gathering.  All the grand kids and their significant others will be there, my kids (except for Jennifer's family) and my sister, BIL and her son Adam.   

I'm trying real hard not to have any expectations, but Grand Girl Helene has already asked me if I will play a game of Cribbage with her.

Life is good.

It's not everyone that can find time to post on their blog on busy Thanksgiving Day.  Only us, who are alone; neglected by family and friends.  Even the poor and homeless are hauled into churches and centers to be fed the feast of bird, stuffing, potatoes and gravy.  I will be dining on half a sandwich of thinly sliced Hillshire Farms pastrami.

Do I really care?  Not really.  I don't have the energy to get cleaned up and drive to where ever for dinner...I don't really like Turkey all that much.  I guess it just ticks me off that tradition has it to have this day be all about family.  Gathered around the huge table.  Memories shared.  The Matriarch of the family honored.  Grand children waiting with baited breath for grand mother to speak her words of wisdom.  

Then I remember last year.  I was invited to drive up to The Farm and share the day with sister, BIL and her son.  We had chicken--as none of them like turkey.  After dinner--1:00, we cleaned up, went into the living room and they all hauled out their phones and IPads and spent the next hour on them, while I sat on the couch, staring at some football game I had no interest in.

If I asked a question or tried to engage them in conversation, their replies were one or two words--never looking up from their electronic devices.  I remember feeling a slow burn starting in my head, so before I could stand up and let go with a diatribe, laced with curse words, on how rude they were, I gathered my things and came home.

So this year, I can just stay home and not have to go through any real or perceived hurts.  It's just another Thursday and I can do laundry, watch a couple of good movies, crochet and work on a genealogy.  It just might be the nicest Thanksgiving I have had in the last 7 years.

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Sister and BIL came down yesterday to put plastic film over the inside of my back door to keep out the winter drafts.  I had found a new blind to put up, to replace the broken one, it however was one of those new cordless ones and didn't fit the holders that were already up, so BIL had to put up new ones and hang the blind.

I don't like it.  You have to pull on the bottom of the blind to get it down to cover the window.  The apparatus holding the blind at the top, feels very flimsy and BIL said to hold onto it while pulling the blind down.  Luckily, I don't raise and lower that blind, only turn the handle to adjust the angle of the blinds, so I guess it will be okay.

One toddler, somewhere, 10 years ago, strangled on the cord from a set of blinds so now we have to live with cordless ones.  I could not find a pair of blinds with  cords!!!  I would like to get 3 new blinds for this computer room.  The kind that help to darken the room, because with the sun at its winter angle, even with these blinds down, it gets so bright in here, and my desk faces the south, that I can't do a thing on my computer from 10:00 until 3:00.  BUT if I can't find any with cords, that means I would have to have BIL install them and I am not going to do that.

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I think I have lived too long!!

Everything seems to be so difficult.  Our weather was so weird, I never did get my perennial garden cut back and cleaned up.  We had no Spring, we had no Fall, no Indian Summer...maybe a January thaw?  Maybe it will be 60 degrees in January and I can finish up?

Our society is going...........I don't know where it's going, but it seems to be going crazy to me.  People are becoming so oriented into "it's all about me" attitudes....they are angry and rude and moving way too fast.  

I was using the self-checkout yesterday at Meijer, and the lady at the one behind me was arguing with the check out machine.  I kid you not.  Every time that automated voice gave a command, she replied, angrily, in a not too soft voice.  "I already did that!"  "What the hell?" "No.  I already did that!"

 I got so caught up in the whole thing that when my machine said, "Thank you for shopping at Meijer," I replied "Your welcome."  EGADS!!!!!

People are so tuned into their electronic devices.  The devices are their constant companions.  No wonder they don't need real people around to talk to.

Even I am wondering if I could afford to get a Echo Dot or Alexa.  I would change it to a male voice with a British accent and have someone to talk to all day.  

Then I wouldn't even care that I am also going to be alone on our family traditional Christmas Eve and Christmas day because someone decided to have our family get together on December 27th.  

Yep.  I've lived too long.  Six years ago, "they" promised, as long as I was alive, to have our family Christmas on Christmas Eve, as we have always done.  If I weren't here, they could have it or not have it any dang time they wanted.  I wouldn't feel hurt or neglected and they wouldn't have to give any thought to my feelings--which they don't do now.

But.....I'm fine.  I really don't care.

You know?  Sometimes I feel like I am losing my mind.  Today is one of those days.  I can't seem to concentrate on anything and thus, I've sat in my chair, watched a basketball game and a movie.

I should be working on this big genealogy my friend Beth gave me.  But I can't seem to figure out what I should do.  Start writing the book?  Design and make a pedigree?

I have a crochet project, but my hands are so shaky that I can't get the hook in the right hole and it's like, I can't figure out the complicated pattern.

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Maybe it's because my mind is on daughter Pam?  She came home Friday.  To stay.  She is unable to work and wanted to get on Disability, and thought sister Jennifer could help her, but that didn't work.  Then she was using her Food Assistance card in New Jersey and Michigan called and told her that because she hadn't used it in Michigan in months--they were closing that account.

So--at least her house is still standing and a flip of two switches brought her hot water tank and furnace back into working order.  Plus, she has an appointment this Wednesday to meet with the people at Health & Services to see if they can get her on SSI and get her health insurance re-established.

She did have a good visit out there and helped so much with the kids and said that leaving them was awfully hard, but she also said that Jennifer's life/house is so chaotic that she is enjoying the peace and quiet of living alone once again.

I've prayed so long for her to come home and now I am happy she is nearby once again--although I do worry about her health and financial problems.

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Also heard via the family grapevine that son Mark's "numbers" were up at his 3 month check-up and he had to get an MRI to see if his cancer tumors are growing again.  He has been in remission for a year, but you know, with cancer..................it can always come back.  I won't find out until my sister does and tells me because....none of my kids want to tell me anything.

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I heard a strange sound this morning while I was waking up.  I thought Maggie the Cat was up on the counter and knocked something off.  When I got up, I noticed that a very light-weight cross stitch I have hung up over my back door, had fallen.  Apparently when it fell, it caught on one of the mini blind slats and broke it off.

My sister and BIL are coming Tuesday to put clear plastic on the inside of the back door to keep the drafts out, so...looks like now I have to trudge out to find a new mini blind.  No big deal--they cost less than 10 bucks--it's just the hassle with my back hurting so badly, to have to get in and out of the car, walk way back to the curtain section of the store and hope to find one the right size on my first try.

Do you ever get so tired of not feeling well, of the pains in your joints, of all the little annoyances life throws at you, that you just want to lay down and go to sleep---forever?

For one who lives such a mundane life, I sure get busy at times!  Before I know it, it's bedtime and too late to post anything on here.  "I'll do it first thing in the morning."  Then the next day comes, with more distractions and.............I forget.  

I need to get on one of those, "I'll post everyday" kicks.  Hm-mm.  Every other day?  Twice a week perhaps?  I just know, I need to do better.

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Last Thursday, I had lunch with my Old School Pals.  There was only 5 of us, so it was easy to talk and hear each other.

One of the ladies, the one I have known since I was born, seems to be getting very senile.  Or something--I don't know what to call it.  She has always been an exaggerator, I've known that, some of the other's don't, so when she went off on one of her stories, I didn't bother to let on that over half her story came from some imaginary place in her mind.

Now--she has taken to a bit of paranoia in her stories.  The other day, she claimed that Beth's husband called her and told her never to call Beth on the phone again.  Never!  The rest of the gals looked a little stunned.  Then she went on with a tale of her voting experience and how she knew her ballot had been thrown away, how another of the people working at the polls had told her she couldn't vote after the age of 80, and that ALL absentee votes are not counted.

Ruth Ann, one of our gals, has worked at the township voting place for over 20 years.  She got a bit irate and started to tell Liz (senile) that she was absolutely wrong in her thinking.  Liz went on to tell Ruth Ann that she had been told these things and it must be different in her township.

Then Liz told us that Beth's husband is so mean to her.  He wouldn't allow her to take any of their stuff from their home to their new retirement condo.  Well, that remark sparked June into saying, "We were at Beth's last month for lunch.  All their furniture is what they had in their home.  She has all her antiques.  Didn't you see them?"

So Liz dropped that and went on to tell a story about how Beth's husband had offered to give one of us a ride home, but he kept stopping to run errands and it took 6 hours to get home.  I just kept on eating my Taco's and then Liz said, "Don't you remember, Judy?  It was you!"  My head sort of snapped up and I said, "Wasn't me.  Must have been someone else."

Now all eyes are on me.  Liz said, "You told me how tired and exhausted you were when you got home.  You said you thought maybe he was kidnapping you!"

"Wasn't me," I replied.  "I've never even ridden in a car with him."

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Pretty soon it was time to leave.  Liz got up to go, said she had to leave early to get home so she could curry and brush her husband's new registered race horse. (?)

I motioned for the other gals to wait a minute--when Liz left we all sat down and my other gal pal Sandy and I, who have talked a lot about Liz's problem, filled in the other gals with what is going on with her.  Sandy, who is a retired nurse said, "Don't confront her, just smile and nod and keep eating while she tells her tales." 

When I got home, I e-mailed Beth (who wasn't there) with all the sordid details of what Liz had said about her and her hubs and that her hubs had "kidnapped" me.  Beth's hubs and Liz's step-son are very good friends.  They are aware that Liz is falling off the edge.

What puzzles me...most senile people are forgetful, but she tells some of the same stories every month...with the same detail.

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Saturday, Grand daughter Helene invited me down to her Mom's, daughter Karen's, to watch the MSU football game on their big TV.  Of course, Great Grand Della was there and now that she has warmed up to me, we had a great time.

Instead of downsizing when their kids moved out, Karen and Mark opened up one end of their small living room and built on a 30 feet extension.  With their 5 kids getting married and having babies and the way their family does everything together, they need more room now than when the kids were at home.

They have a 72" TV and a 15' curved couch.  I camped myself on one end, put up the recliner, pulled out my crocheting and was happy as a tick.  Pretty soon, Grand daughter Maddie came in with pizza's and salad.  We had a girls afternoon and it was lovely!!!  MSU lost and I didn't even care. :-)

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Monday Beth came over with two cloth shopping bags full of her family tree research.  Different members of her family have done a lot of research on their family--even going to Europe to trace down other cousins, towns, churches.  

Beth wants me to sort through, organize and put it all into a book, like I do with other's genealogies.  Basically the research is all done.  The sorting through and figuring out to get it all in order to put in book form and be cohesive and understandable, may take a few months.  She mentioned one of the ancestor's on her mother's side has been traced back to Roman times!

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Tuesday, I got a pattern and yarn to test for my Bonus daughter.  It's a pretty involved pattern.  I work the pattern and then tell her if there are mistakes in the writing of the pattern--that sort of thing, and crochet her up a "mock" item.  

This means, I have to figure out a work schedule for myself.  Work on the genealogy in the morning and the crochet in the afternoon and evening.

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My yard guy got all the leaves up and put them up on the porch until next Monday, when he promised he would haul them out to the street for pick-up early Tuesday morning.

I managed to get a new furnace filter in place.  Vacuumed out my dryer tube.  Made sure all my windows are closed tightly and locked tight.  Got the humidifier ready to turn on.  I also got the yearly oil change on my car.  I had pushed the Trip Tik last year when I got the oil changed and found out yesterday, when I went to set it back to zero, that I drove all of 2,322.6 miles in a year.  Can you even imagine?  I think back to my working years and I drove 80 round trip a day.  Oh well, my 20 year old car only has 55,000 miles on it.  It is going to rust out before the motor gets bad.  LOL

This morning, I wended my way through the bags of leaves to get to my squirrel and bird feeders.  I have them all filled up and ready.

All this has been brought on by our early winter.  Last spring, we jumped from about 4 days of spring into an unusually hot and dry summer.  Then we had about 5 days of nice autumn weather and jumped into cold and snow.  We've had no Indian Summer.  Man--the earth is going through some climate changes for sure!

==============

I will sign off now and let you get back to your life.  I am feeling great physically.  Emotionally a bit heavy, snitches of worry trying to creep in, but very satisfied and happy with things.

I am truly humbled.  The help I have received from you all staggers me.

Thank you Trudy, I did get your card.

Thank you Carol in Ontario, I got your card too.

Jenny, please thank pastor for his prayers, he sure does good ones. LOL

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I have been extremely busy, trying to put my perennial gardens to bed for the winter, finishing up a small genealogy for my neighbor.  A funeral for my Karen's father-in-law.  And my water heater went out twice in 3 days.

PLUS--I got a notice from the DHS--Department of Human Services--Welfare, that as of December 3rd, the State WILL pay my Medicare.  So the paperwork I sent in, even though I was still 2 cents over the limit for income, they must have rolled it up to the nearest dollar amount of $4.00, which put me just under the limit, and took pity on me.

They also lowered my food assistance from $41 to $23.  That's fine.  I will have $$$ for my other bills.

Through the gifts I have received from you blessed people and a grocery gift card from my cousin, I will be able to pay all my November bills.  This just blows my mind and makes me weep.  Help from people I have never met---it is amazing and a godsend.

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I decided to drain my water heater, like I do every six months, because of the heavy rust and lime in the water here.  We do not have city water and are not allowed to have a water softener.  Everything seemed fine when I closed up the unit, the gas was heating up so I put all my clothes back in the bedroom closet--where my wh resides.

The next morning, no hot water.  I called for repair and emptied the closet.

The guy that came was 6'2" and easily weighed 300#.  He had one heck of a time trying to wedge himself in that closet and get down low enough to relit the pilot light.  After half an hour of struggling, all seemed well and he left.  About an hour later, I wanted to wash my hair and I did have warm water, so I ASSUMED the heater was working.  I put all the clothes back in the closet.

The next morning, no hot water.  That was yesterday.  So I called and asked for an appointment for today.  I told the girl about the tight working area and asked if she could send out a smaller guy.

Then, I drove on up to the graveside service for Karen's father-in-law.  I didn't know where the cemetery was, but I knew the road name and the area so I thought I'd have no problem.

I stopped in at the gas station in my home town to use the facilities and get a bottle of Diet Pepsi to tide me over.

Then made my first mis-cue by coming south east, out of town, instead of going north up to another little town.  I knew the cemetery was south-east of that town.

I got on the right road and headed north and then....the road ended--arrow right or left?

I had to ponder for a moment on which way to go. Hm-mm. I hadn't been in that area in 30 years, but......I thought if I went left, I'd go into the little town and then find my way around or stop and ask.

As I got near the town, I veered off to the right and turned onto a street, vaguely remembering that it turned into the road I needed once I got out of town.

Yep--YAY.

Trying to watch for the road I needed to turn on--I didn't know which way I needed to turn, and all of a sudden realized that I was behind four or five cars turning left down a gravel road.

Now--why would four or five cars, on a dreary, cold rainy  Tuesday morning, all be turning down a gravel road? An auction, perhaps. A direct way over to the highway? 

I followed them and there we were, soon pulling over on the side of the road to park. I was the last car in the "procession".

I could see the cemetery off in the distance and wondered how I was going to manage to walk that far. Thankfully, I had my cane to lean on and off I went.

As I got near the cemetery, there was my oldest grand girl quickly coming to me--I leaned on her, and then appeared the other two grand girls and they all led me up the hill to the grave site.

They were the pall bearers, but as they lined up behind their Dad and his siblings, I stood behind the girls and just leaned on them.

My two grandsons weren't there.  One had to work and one, in medical school, had to be on his rotation at the hospital.  Karen also had to teach.  They had all been to the funeral on Monday.

A lot of people recognized me, and I recognized a lot of people but couldn't remember names. It's that way whenever I go where there are people that I haven't seen in the 30 years I've been away.  They recognize me because basically I haven't changed.  I am still tall and slender.  Still wear my hair short, except it is now gray instead of blonde.  Some of those people have changed a lot.  Shorter.  Fatter.  More wrinkled.  
What was really strange, I went up to a "used to be", next door neighbor and she didn't know who I was.  Although, as she talked, I could see that senility was her enemy now, so I filled her in, but by the look in her eyes, even though she "pretended" she then remembered me and all I had relayed to her............she hadn't.

The best part, it was wonderful for me to see my son-in-laws siblings--I've known those kids since my Karen married into the family 37 years ago, so they seem like my own family.

There was much hugging and kissing and I love you's and "so glad to see you", and "thank you for coming."

Well of course I went. This man that was laid to rest, is one.....could very well be...the finest man I have ever known. You can see it in his 5 sons and daughter. Nothing could have kept me from honoring him. Nothing!

I feel sad for his wife though.  She was always spoiled by him.  Four years ago they moved up north to their retirement cabin.  Then last year he got sick.  He had a rare disease called Amyloidosis.

Amyloidosis (am-uh-loi-DO-sis) is a rare disease that occurs when a substance called amyloid builds up in your organs. Amyloid is an abnormal protein that is produced in your bone marrow and can be deposited in any tissue or organ.

Amyloidosis can affect different organs in different people, and there are different types of amyloid. Amyloidosis frequently affects the heart, kidneys, liver, spleen, nervous system.

His affected his heart and lungs.  He even tried a new treatment using chemotherapy.  He was sick for a year.

She found it difficult to cope because he had always done everything (I used to be jealous of her) and then, she was the one that had to set up doctor's visits, staying with him in hospital and caring for him at home, and she wasn't well equipped for that.

Now, I worry how she is going to cope.  Always one to have a glass of wine at her elbow, I fear now she is alone............................well, you know.
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This morning, I emptied the bedroom closet again and the repair man came.  A thin, short little guy who scrambled back into that closet like a little monkey, relit the pilot light and was done in 7 minutes.

I have done a load of laundry and a full dishwasher cycle.  Lots of hot water.

We shall see.  I know I need a new heater, but am going to coax this one along as long as I can.

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Michigan had the highest turnout of voters for the mid-terms, than they have had in 56 years.  Want to know why?

Proposal 1 was to legalize recreational marijuana.  People from ages 20-50 that had never voted in their lives, came out to vote, and being the Liberal little scamps most of them are, filled in the square for the Democrat running for governor.  Even parts of our State that are normally Red--were Blue yesterday.

I saw some interviews of those voters on TV--even the repair guy this morning--I asked if he had voted yesterday.  He said, "Yep.  Got registered and voted....for the first time."  (He was in his 30's)

I said, "How did you know the judges and Senators to vote for."

"Oh.  I didn't even mark them.  Just the governor and........I wanna get my pot."

ARGGH!