title explained

Onward and upward! something that you say in order to encourage someone to forget an unpleasant experience or failure and to think about the future instead and move forward.

My e-mail: jjmiller6213@comcast.net

Sunday, April 26, 2020

I finished a genealogy.  An interesting one....oh, I guess I say that about all the genealogies I do, but this one will have a few surprises for my client and that always makes me smile.

When I do the pedigrees, I create them on an Excel spread sheet, then I tape the pages together and take it to the print shop to have them copied onto one long sheet of paper.  Well, the print shop is closed, so I taped the pages together and put them in her book.  They look okay, but not professional like I would like.
We have to do the best we can.
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Technology...what can I say about it.  The undermining of the next generation with their noses stuck in the phones night and day, or playing games.  A way to track us with GPS, so every where our phone goes, "they" know.  

I remember when computers first came out, all big and bulky.  We were told it would make our life easier.  We wouldn't have to keep paper files, as everything we needed would be kept on the computer's hard drive.  They neglected to tell us what to do if we needed an important file and the hard drive on the computer had died and we had no paper in a file folder to get what we needed.  Every company I ever worked for, not only kept their files on the computer system, but a duplicate paper one in a file folder in a file cabinet.

One particular reason I am kind of glad for this newer technology, my grandson Stephen and his Carolyn are having a bridal shower.  I figured with all the 20-30 somethings in attendance it would not be a good idea for me to attend.  You know, that age can be carriers and not even have one symptom.

My daughter Karen, Stephen's mother came up with an idea.

The kids will be at her house, where they are staying right now, and the rest of us will be linked up with ZOOM via cameras on phones or PC's so we can watch and everyone can see and hear everyone else.

A virtual bridal shower.  How very clever.  I have none of that equipment, but Karen has ordered the camera and connection that goes in a USB port on my computer and I will be all set.

I feel sad for this couple.  They both graduated from medical school and of course, no graduation ceremonies.  They both have their residencies at the hospital they wanted so that is good, but they have been planning their wedding for over a year.

06-06-2020.  What a lovely looking date, however....that is now being changed.  We don't know the date of the wedding for sure now.  May still be on the 6th, maybe a few days later.  Of course, no one in attendance but two witnesses and their parents.

They have planned their reception for late August and will re-do their vows, in their wedding clothes, at the reception.

They are such a nice couple and have worked so hard to get their degrees and now their residencies have been postponed until The Virus is not so prevalent in the hospitals they were assigned to.  At least they haven't had to work with The Virus patients.  Stephen is going into Cardiology and Carolyn is going into Family Practice.

I had their wedding sampler all crossed stitched and was about to wash it, iron it and get it framed.  Now I will wait until I hear the actual wedding date, because I might have to cut the threads and pick them out of the date I have stitched.
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I've been watching live streaming church programs.  I really enjoy  pastor Allen Jackson from a big church in Murfreesboro, TN.  He had a regular Sunday morning service that I have watched for years.  Now he is live streaming.

He wanted people to write in the comment line what was the first building they were going to go to when things get opened up.  Without thinking, I typed "Hair Salon".  That shows what a heathen I am because everyone else had commented, "Church".  HAH!  All I can say is, I think some of them were fibbing.

I look like someone I don't even recognize.  A very old lady with gray hair poofing way out to the sides and sticking out up on the top.  The back of my hair is way down the back of my neck, touching my collar.  ARRGH!!!!  

We here in Michigan are still on Stay Home orders and it is mandatory to wear a mask if we have to go to the grocery store, or they won't allow us to enter.  Do those masks really help?  Some medical people say they do, others say they don't.

The ones Karen made are lined with a coffee filter and, she sewed a seam for a pipe stem cleaner to be inserted, along the top edge so the mask can be pinched to hold tightly to the bridge of my nose.  They say when you put on a mask, light a match, bring it up toward your mouth and if you can blow the match out, the mask is no good--won't help a bit.  I tried that, and no matter how close I got that match, I could not blow it out, so........it gives me a certain feeling of safety.

Our Governor had many illogical restrictions.  Not allowed to go out on a lake in a motor boat.  You could with a canoe or a kayak, but not a motor boat.  Not allowed to buy any seeds or garden items.  The Walmart actually had their garden center roped off and "Do Not Enter" signs posted.  Not allowed to play golf.  All the golf course clubhouses around here were closed anyway.  No landscaping companies were allowed to work.

Last week she relaxed some of the restrictions.  You now can go for a motor boat ride and fish if you want to.  The lawn mowing guy can now come, mow the lawn, pick up sticks and rack leaves.  The nurseries around here opened and yesterday, their parking lots were packed.  You can play golf, but you can't use a cart, nor enter the clubhouse AND you can't touch the pin on the green...It has to stay in the hole.

Our State is opening in phases.  This is Phase One.  Phase Two, restaurants' will open with strict rules.  "Vulnerable" people are to still stay home in Phase One and Two.  Phase Three will allow salons, gyms, tattoo parlors, and the like to open, also with strict rules and in Phase Three, we vulnerable's will be allowed to go out and about.  I expect Phase Three isn't going to hit until August!

I will look like Cousin Itt by then.


ARRGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, April 19, 2020


Easter was only a week ago?


It seems so much longer to me.
Still feeling a bit discombobulated. Still not being able to really focus. Still wondering when this plague will leave our lives.




Worry for my family members, especially those in New Jersey. Missing my kids and grand kids and not yet being able to hold my newest--6 weeks old already, great grand boy. Missing hugs and conversations.

 Knowing full well, in the deepest part of my soul that, as in other hard times, God will carry us through. He always has, He always will. Continually praying He will sweep this plague from our country.




Grateful to Him for all that I have and trying to find blessings in each lonely day. Whether it be the sun shining, Robins hopping across the lawn, a beautiful Daffodil standing tall again after shaking off its covering of snow or clean clothes taken out of the dryer and hung up again in my closet. A fresh bloom on my African Violet plant or my sweet Buddy cat, laying on Momma's nightgown, taking a nap.





It's the little things that really count. E-mail photos sent from a granddaughter. Phone calls from my sister. A daughter bringing me food to carry me through.


Della




Harrison, already walking around furniture
at 8 months


Life is still very good and it will be even better...one day...soon I pray.

Sunday, April 12, 2020

Aren't we all so weary of all of this?
It's starting to make me really sad.
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Our Governor has closed down everything she doesn't deem essential.  Our lawn mowing guy can't come and pick up sticks, rake up leaves or mow the lawns.  The garden centers at the Walmart and other stores are roped off because buying seeds and getting annual flowers to plants, is not essential.  We are mandated to stay home and can only go out for groceries or prescriptions.

I decided yesterday I needed a drive in my car so I went up to the gas station, filled the car up with gas and went inside and bought a bag of chips and a candy bar.  No one in there except the cashier hidden behind a giant plastic shield.  I felt like such a rebel.

Our Governor had also banned all doctors from using HydroxyChloroquine.  This week, since our numbers have gone up, she is begging for supplies of the medicine.

In my County we have 206 positive cases and 3 deaths.  One was a 20 year old.  Of course, those numbers will go up.

I have a sinking feeling that The Virus will be around until a vaccine comes out for it.  We were hoping that with hot weather coming, it would kill The Virus, but now "they" are saying that nothing can kill it.  So even when the stores open again and businesses and restaurants open, there is still going to be chances of contracting it.

Even me, a natural stay-at-home person is getting tired of it.  I went out for a walk today.  I can feel my legs getting weaker from all the non-exercise.  My weekly trip around the store and up and down the aisles, used to be my exercise.

I don't know.  I don't think any of the experts know either.  It's not like any of us have gone through anything like this, so we know what to do.  Even the Polio epidemic in the mid-fifties wasn't this bad, and we did a bit of social distancing back then.

Life as we have known it, will never be the same after this.

Sunday, April 5, 2020

Everyone is so cranky!

I had to make a run up to Walmart this past Wednesday.  I had a prescription to pick up and had been putting it off for a week.  I only had one pill left for that day, so I got there at 8:55, and was the only one in line, when the pharmacy opened at 9:00am.  I couldn't wait to get outside and let the breeze blow the bad buggies off me.  It felt like a scary "adventure".

When I got home, I wrote about my adventure on Face Book, like I often do and put a humorous tone to my story.

Man!  I got blasted by two friends who criticized me for going out that not only could I spread the virus to others or catch it myself and I was making too light of this pandemic.

Late yesterday afternoon, I found out through Dar that our lawn mowing guy can't come and rake leaves or pick up sticks.  His business is not deemed essential.  I was pondering on FB about that.  Wondering why when he would be outside and me inside and never the twain to meet and at least, I could send him a check that would help him feed his two little kids.

Another friend ripped into me.  Sort of accusing me, "Do you think your lawn work is essential?  Really?"

Gosh.  I don't think that's what I posted.  I was just wondering why it would matter if he worked when he would be outside and me in.

So, after crying a bit from the criticism and scolding I got, I decided to stay off posting anything on FB.

GEEZ!!  Last week my sister told me I was over-reacting and now this women accuse me of making light of a serious situation.

I can't win!
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So now "they" are saying we all should wear face masks.  Even though they don't do any good, if you have The Virus it will keep you from contaminating others---it keeps your sneezes and coughs inside the mask.  If  you don't have The Virus, wearing a mask won't keep the bad buggies out.

We have ladies around here sewing masks.  Bless their hearts, but no hospitals will take them.  They have to be made from a double layer of tightly woven pure cotton and they have to be able to be adjusted tightly around the nose part, down low on the chin, or they do absolutely no good.  The poor sewing ladies are trying to help and so far, they are being turned away from care centers.

My sister has some masks left over from when they lived in New York State and went through the SARS scare.  She said she would get one to me.  It appears to be a sturdier than the home made ones.  I might wear one if I have to go get groceries, but....I don't know.  If you keep adjusting the mask, you end up touching your face more and that might contaminate you worse than if you just went without.
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I didn't need one yesterday--outside trying to rake my front lawn from the piles of leaves the lawn guy left last fall when he got sick with Lyme Disease.  I have little blue Star Flowers that come up all over my front yard and I wanted to uncover them.

I only got 3/4 of one side of the lawn done.  Finally I figured that I didn't want to take a chance on an AFib attack and have to go to a germ ridden ER, so I sat in my canvas lawn chair, in the sun, and watched the neighbors walk up and down the street, with their canes and walkers.  Dar had her Dad out, pushing him around the block in his wheel chair.

At least I got to see other humans and call "Hi, how ya doing?"  back and forth.
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My youngest daughter Jennifer, had to go to ER on Wednesday night as she was having a hard time breathing.  She has asthma and is still recovering from an 18 month stint with Lyme Disease.

They gave her a COVID-19 test, with results coming back in 5 days.  Took an X-ray and EKG, both good and sent her back home to quarantine herself in one room.  She has been working from home and has not traveled anywhere, so I don't know where she may have picked up The Virus, if that's what she has.

That is the real scary thing about this, for me.  People can have it and show no symptoms, but still be contaminating others.  That's why I have stayed away from my grandchildren.  Not that I might give it to them, but they were working and in college until the 3rd week of March, so they could have it, and because they are younger, feel no bad symptoms, but give it to me and then...I'd be dead.

I know darn well, if I had to be hospitalized and it came down to who was going to get a ventilator--a 50 year old or me an 80 year old, I would just be rolled down to the Hospice unit.

Sunday, March 29, 2020

I think President Trump was trying to be upbeat and make people feel more positive about this whole "isolation" when he spoke of being "open" by Easter Sunday.  Most of us knew that wasn't going to happen and of course, the Doctors Fauci and Brix knew that wasn't going to happen.  This whole crisis is just getting underway to my way of thinking.



So we have another month of "Stay Home. Stay safe.  Save lives".

I'm afraid some people I know are going to be worn thin emotionally.  Poor Dar.  Cooped up in her house with her 96 year old Dad,  She is used to going somewhere almost every day.



I think to myself, this is the way I've lived for the last 8 years.  There is something to be said for being a semi-hermit.  Each day feels pretty normal to me...except knowing that the Pestilence is just outside the door and right around the corner.

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I did have a lovely weekend however.  I got e-mails from both my Grand Girls with photos of their babies.  I got an e-mail from Jennifer!  They are in New Jersey and her husband's office is just 12 miles from New York City.  Her daughter, Elise, my youngest Granddaughter sent me a lovely thank you e-mail for her birthday card and money.  Elise was 16, so I took a 10,5 and 1, laid them on a towel and sprayed them with Lysol and let them dry.  When I got her card made, I cut out a strip of paper like the ones that come around a stack of money and wrote, "Clean Cash.  This money has been disinfected."  She got a kick out of that.

I called my sister and we talked until both our phones were needing a charge.  We understand each other so well and each have a---I don't want to say dark humor--maybe a gray humor.  We were laughing hysterically until we both started coughing and then kidded, "Oh no!  We've got the bad buggies!"  Her birthday was yesterday.  68!  I never thought I'd live long enough to see her get that old.


One of my nearby Face Book friends had posted that she couldn't find any flour on the store shelves and she was baking home made bread and cookies and rolls to keep from going insane.  I was kidding when I commented, "I have a 5# bag of Gold Medal flour.  I will barter for 2 jugs of Diet Pepsi and......she took me up on it and brought the Pepsi over this afternoon.  She was so happy to get the flour I thought she was going to cry.  Plus, she gave me half a loaf of home made bread.  Yummy.


Yesterday Karen e-mailed me that she needed to make a shopping run and for me to send her my list---which I did.  She came by at 10:30 and brought my groceries in and put them just inside the front door.  I was teary and wanted to hug her so much, so---she said, "Mom you and I have both been quarantined for 10 days.  You aren't sick and I'm not either," and she grabbed me in a big hug--we made sure our faces were turned the other way.  No kisses, but lots of I love you's.


It was very special of her because we shop at different stores, but she went to the store where I normally shop so she could put in my "number" and got  $3.00 off my amount.


Dar came over and brought me the largest container of Clorox wipes I have ever seen.  They will last me the rest of my natural life.  I wiped down my counter tops, my phones, keyboard, my purse, wallet, car keys and the bottom of my shoes.

The groceries that Karen dropped off this morning--I wiped down the Pepsi jugs and put them away, put the items that needed refrigeration in the freezer--that ought kill any bad buggies and the rest will sit in their sacks for 72 hours before I put them away.  

I'm not a real germaphobe, but every time I watch the News, I get scared and think I should be more careful.

I have managed to find my two favorite Pastors that I normally watch on TV on Sunday morning, on a live stream on my computer.  It seems difficult for them to preach to an empty church.
Now, every time the cuckoo clock sings, I say, "Dear God, please help us", and now, while I wash my hands, I say the "Lord's Prayer".  I try to remain cognizant of the fact that God is the only one who can keep us safe in times like this.
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This baby looks like no one on either side of the family!  Only 3 weeks old.


Laying on the quilt I made for him.
He looks so little

Gotta have him in a Spartan onesie.


He has this blonde hair that if they don't
keep it wet down, springs up in little spikes
all over his head!
He was baptized on St. Benedicts Day because
his first name is Benedikt--and then 6 more names.
Look at that hair and those bright blue eyes
peeking out.

Harrison and Della
Harrison is 7 1/2 months old and already
pulling himself up to stand by furniture.
His big sister adores him!


Until next Sunday--Stay Home.  Stay Safe,.  and wash your hands and don't touch your face!!!

Sunday, March 22, 2020

Everything just feels so strange now.
Just a week ago I was having lunch with friends--all 80 years old or over--sitting close enough to touch shoulders, all hugging and kissing went we left.

Then all heck broke loose.

We have 800 cases of The Virus in our state--6 deaths.  Detroit area and the large cities having the most cases, of course.  The rest of us are generally spread out and the towns we live near aren't all that large, but still..................

You have no idea if the person you just passed in the store aisle is a carrier.  I'm sure they wouldn't be out shopping if they were ill because This Virus makes you really sick feeling.

Now the main grocery stores are opening early on certain days for the "most vulnerable" to shop.  7:00-8:00am are the hours.  Why does the world think that all old people are early risers?  I get up at 9:00 every morning.  What am I supposed to do?

Well, I have two prescriptions that I have to pick up tomorrow at Walmart.  Also I am out of cat food and bread.  The pharmacy doesn't open until 9:00am.  So...I set my alarm for 7:00 and hopefully, I will be awake and alert enough to drive on up at 8:30--get what I need and be at the pharmacy when they open.

Cat food and bread are not all the things I am out of.  I bought a good supply of groceries last month the day my SS hit my checking about--March 3rd, so I am just about out of everything--which means, the 3rd of April I will have to make another trip for groceries.

Now, even though I am 80, I have a strong immune system and no real bad underlying health risks.  High blood pressure, which is controlled and pretty low most of the time.  That's it!  But--I could still die if I caught This Virus.  

I will wear my gloves to handle anything and everything.  If I get any cash back, when I get home, I will lay it out on a towel and spray it with Lysol, both front and back, and let it dry.  Paper money is the dirtiest thing in this world!  I will bring in the groceries--still wearing my gloves. I will empty out the bag of cat food and throw the bag away.  Then I will throw my gloves into the washer and wash my hands.  I will wash off every can of cat food with hot water and detergent.  I will wash my hands again.

Since I live alone I don't worry about my own germs, but whenever I bring anything into this house--I will clean it off good and wash my hands.

I have been in this house since the 14th.  It doesn't bother me at all.  My car sits in the driveway for days on end in my normal life, so this quarantine doesn't bother me.  Dar, is going nuts!!!  She is used to going somewhere every day, but now she is worried she might bring a bad buggie home to her 98 year old Dad.

I don't mind, but sometimes just knowing I can't go out, makes me want to go out more.  I still have a bit of rebel that has always been there.  Tell me NOT to do something and I just might.

I still hear of women baby sitting their grandchildren.  Visiting their kids.  No way that is happening here!  The grandchildren are just the age of the carriers.  Even young children are getting it now.  So...I haven't seen my newest great grandbabe yet.  My grandson is getting married June 6th--who knows.  His fiance's shower is end of April.  I may have to miss both as I think this self quarantine is going to last longer than 15 days.

I think the President and his Task Force have done a good job, but who could ever be prepared enough for something like this.  It would have been nice if China had notified the world earlier, but with their closed government...they probably thought they had  a crisis they could contain.

Just think.  One man in Wuhan province decided he wanted to fry up a couple of bats for supper.  One man--a couple bats and here we are with a world pandemic.  Unreal.  

I always thought it would be a terrorist walking through Times Square releasing drops of Anthrax or opening a vial of Smallpox.  I never thought it could be a bat!

So, onward and upward we go.  I pray daily, often times a day, for God to intervene.   

But--it still kind of scares me.    

Sunday, March 15, 2020

We're in for quite a ride, aren't we?
The stores around here have empty shelves.  This must be what it is like to prepare for a Hurricane.  But why the hoarding of toilet paper?

I understand the psychology behind "panic buying", but toilet paper?  Six packages of 12 rolls of toilet paper?  If you caught the virus and had to quarantine in your home for 14 days, would you need that much toilet paper?

When I stopped up at Walmart the other day to pick up a prescription, I got 3 Giant Hershey Chocolate bars with Almonds and a box of Little Debbies.  If I have to be quarantined, I'm going to enjoy myself.

Well--it is kind of scary to me.  I am at that age that if I got it, I'd probably die, however I have no underlying health issues.  Still in all, although I'd love to see my new great grandson, I wouldn't contaminate him, but all those 20-35 year old grand kids, of mine who would be there too, could be carriers and well...I'd hate for them to feel guilty because they killed off their Gramma.  LOL
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As you can imagine, my week and weekend have not been a bit of fun.  They canceled the B1G Ten tournament and then the NCAA Tournament, which nearly gave me a stroke, because I had my whole weekend planned around those games. 

I figured, well, heck...I'll watch the golf tournament and no sooner got that idea when they canceled that AND postponed the Master's Golf tournament?

What else is there to watch on a weekend?  The News programs?  Egad!  All they do is make me more anxious.

Today I watched 2 live streaming church services from my favorite preachers and 1 from my home church--that I haven't attended for 4 years.  My pastor has grown a beard, for some reason.  He's about to retire.

Well, those services lessened my anxiety.  There is nothing we can control about this Plague.  Worrying sure isn't going to help, just make us feel more scared.  I cross stitched and tried to find something to watch--HGTV--reruns.  American Pickers--reruns.  I couldn't find a decent movie and too lazy to pull out one of my won DVD's.

Today is the 50th anniversary of my Mother's death.  Beware the Ides of March.  She was only 53. I had written a tribute to her on Face Book and of course that brought back a lot of memories, good memories, but still--I was with her when she died--it was a hard death and, 50 years later, I can still see all of it as plain as day.  So, I've been a bit misty today.
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This next week I had all my yearly doc appointment and lab tests scheduled, but canceled them.  I don't think it would be smart to go into a germy hospital, just to get routine tests that can wait until end of April or May.

"They" are telling us old people to stay home.  That's not a problem for me.  My car sits out front for days and days, without me using it.  But of course, now that I've been told I shouldn't go anywhere, I am itching to do just that!!!
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I wish people would quit with the political knit-picking.  As if that does any good.  Why can't we all come together like we did after 9/11?

Wash your hands and cover your sneezes and no need to get tested unless you have symptoms.  Fever, dry cough, shortness of breath.
Stay calm and carry on.
Onward and Upward.