4 generations.

Karen invited me down to their house Sunday to celebrate the August birthdays in their family.
Aug. 1:  Maddie's 24th and Harrison's real birth day.
Aug. 12:  My son-in-law Mark and new grand daughter Morgan (married to Marcus)
Aug. 16:  My new grandson Stefan (married to Maddie).
Aug. 21:  Helene and Mike's 3rd anniversary
Aug. 29:  Karen and Mark's 38th anniversary.

I gave Helene the blanket I had made.

 ...and Della's pillow, because she is a big sister now.

...and got to hold this little peanut for hours........

...and, not that I want to say "I told you so", but Maddie is 10 weeks pregnant.  A Honeymoon baby, expected March 1st, 2020.

One week old and I haven't met him.

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Today I woke to cool weather and low humidity, which caused me to react in a frenzy of opening windows and the front door.  I do so hate the hot and muggy.

Lunch today with the Old School Gal Pals.  For some reason, they decided to drive down here to Howell.  I checked the menu prices and I'm not liking the $10.00 price for a sandwich!

I like to have our lunches in Durand, which is about a 35 minute drive from here and close to my sister, so that I can swing by for a visit after lunch.  Saves time and gas.

I don't know who suggested Howell--it will an hour drive for those coming from Owosso (north of Durand).  I guess they thought it would be more convenient for Beth and me?

I don't even know where the place is so had to do a Map Quest.  LOL and, Bethie is off on vacation so she won't be there.  I am curious to see how many of the 11 of us show up.

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A Dear Friend just diagnosed with breast cancer.  She is taking it better than I am.  She's just about the age of my daughter Pammie, and it feels like one of my own kids had to go through this.  It just makes me sad for her.  I know she will be all right, but still.......

People keep telling her what a strong woman she is and I think.....    people always say that, like there is any other choice?

We aren't all that strong, but what can we do when we are faced with the death of a husband, or a malignancy, or other life threatening disease?  

We have to walk through it or stumble through it or just make it through however we can.  It is as it is.  There are only two choices--get through or give up, and we rarely give up.

People have told me, that for all I have gone through, what a strong woman I am.  It just makes me laugh inside.

I certainly am not.  I'm scared most of the time.  Sometimes I get so anxious, my whole body shakes.  I wake up each morning with a lot of depression.

I just put one foot in front of the other and keep stumbling along.  If I have any strength, it comes in my faith that God will get me through anything I have to face.  He has for 80 years, why would He quit on me now?

It's a beautiful day today.  I will take it with no expectations and tonight, during my prayers, I will thank God for this day.

I knew last night that grand daughter Helene's C-section was scheduled this morning at 10:15 and got notice and a photo at 10:43, but Karen made be vow secrecy and not post anything on FB.

I didn't hear another word.  I called my sister at 6:00, she hadn't heard anything either, so of course, all sorts of worries came into my head.  Was the baby all right?  Was Helene all right.

So I e-mailed Karen and told her we had to have some information.
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Harrison Curtis Klar--his middle name in honor of his great grandpa Rivard who died last year.  I have no idea who Harrison honors or what we are going to call him.  Harry?  Oh--I hope not!
8 # 3 oz, 21" long

Do you remember me telling you, big sister Della was born on her grandmother's birthday--my daughter Karen's and now--this one born on his Aunt and God Mother, Madeleine's 23rd birthday.

It appears one can schedule a C-section on a special day, if it is time for the birth.
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Madeleine posted some photos on FB at 6:30, so I figured they were "public" and I wouldn't get into trouble for posting on my own page.  LOL
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Hey!  I'm fine.

How can it be two weeks since I last posted?
Nothing happening around here.
New great grandson should be born this week.
I guess because of all the rain we had in the spring and now this hot weather, the flowers in my garden are taller and fuller than they have ever been.  The Cone flowers are 5 feet tall!  The Lemon Day Lily is 5 feet across!

The Lilies have taken over that garden--none of my Iris bloomed this year.  I know I need to lift the Iris and put them in a new space, but where?

It's not like I am capable or even have the room, to dig another garden.  Then, I had a thought.  Can Iris be grown in containers?  I Googled and sure enough, they can.

I have 3 large containers behind this garden, planted 2 with tomato plants and one with a trellis and Morning Glory.  This fall, I will rip those dead plants out, or even if they aren't dead, and plant my Iris in them, pull the containers up close to the back of this garden and...see what happens.
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Today is Tuesday.  I haven't been out since last Friday.  It got real hot and humid again, so I just stayed inside, worked on some genealogy stuff, cross stitched and cleaned.  No, I do not have Cabin Fever.  I have always been content to stay home and unlike my neighbor, Dar, do not HAVE to go out and drive somewhere every day.

Speaking of Dar, she was over Sunday.  Her Dad is 98 years old and she is getting tired of him.  She feels he is too confining to her life.  Now that she has recovered from her accident, 3 years ago, she wants more freedom.

She's on a kick now to sell her home and move to Greece, where she lived 10 years before she moved here 8 years ago.  There is a fly in the ointment, her daughter that she doesn't speak to, bought and owns the house.  Dar would have to buy her out and the last time she mentioned it to daughter, daughter refused.  Daughter lives in Indianapolis, Indiana and probably will never move back here, but she won't sell that house to Dar.

When I asked her why she wanted to move back to Greece, when she had friends and family here, she said that she has "better" friends in Greece.  Both her brothers live in this area.  Her best friend Sheila, lives just up the street.

I told her that a lot can happen in 8 years, especially as the Greek economy has fallen and her friend over there is 85 years old.

"Sometimes we have a memory of a place that grows in our minds until it becomes a sort of paradise for us....when in reality, when and if we go back, we see that it isn't at all as grand as we remembered."

Dar is 77 years old and has many health problems.  I would think now is the time to downsize and stay here, but she said, "The day after my Dad dies, I'm buying a plane ticket to Greece!"
==============
Didn't I go through this same thing when I was her age?  Wanting to move back "home"?  Then when it was too expensive, soon came to the realization, I am right where I need to be.

Very pregnant Grand Daughter Helene and Della.  Grandma Daughter Karen was upstairs painting the nursery and Grandpa was putting the bassinet together.

I don't know why I get so fussed up about the heat and humidity.  It's almost like this weather makes me mad.  Like there is anything I can do about?

I guess it's because it's like winter--which I actually like, but being all closed up in the house, with blinds lowered to keep out the sun's heat and the A/C fan running, instead of the furnace heat fan, at this time of year, when I want to be outside...just ticks me off.

So, just to tick me off, it is going to be the hottest this week, with temps in the 90's, which means "feels like" triple digits.  That and the fact the A/C in my car only comes through the vents sporadically, ticks me off even more.  I don't like to sweat!!!

By the way--I looked back in my journal and exactly a year ago this week, we had the same kind of weather.  It's Mid-July in Michigan, what else should I expect?  Except--it ticks me off.

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The last time I spoke with my 2nd ex husband, he was just out of the hospital from prostate cancer surgery.  He was working on putting in his garden and feeling pretty good.  I had fully intended to get up to visit him this early summer...when we have our Gal Pals lunch in Durand, it is only a few miles north to his place....I just never was in the mood to listen to his political rants.

Last Saturday was his birthday, so I called him.  No answer, so I left a message, but he has not called back.  I don't know how to find out what is going on.  His children do not associate with him.  He has very few friends--like maybe 5. He could be dead for all I know.  I check the obits everyday, but that really doesn't mean anything.  Sometimes people die and if there is no services, there is no obit printed in the paper.  There would be no services for him.

Sad isn't it?  To live 88 years and have no one in your life who cares?  He drove them all away.  Seven wives and I doubt any of them would care...except for me, because I feel sorry for his poor soul.

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I am going to sneak out this afternoon to get my hair cut.  Only a 6 mile ride, so I think I can survive with no A/C in the car.  It looks like rain.  I hope it pours all the way there and back--at least that would cool down the car's exterior.

See ya----------

Lord have mercy!

Sometimes I feel like I'm on a Ferris Wheel.  I'm either at the bottom, at the top, or the wheel has stopped and I'm stuck in the middle.  I think I prefer the middle.  Not too high, not too low, just swinging gently in the middle.

I so dreaded Monday.  I didn't know which "car" task to do first.  Did I drive up to Howell to Auto Parts and have them check the code to see why my Check Engine light was on?  Did I drive down to Brighton first to set up an appointment at the body shop to get my passenger side mirror replaced?  I had pondered on this most of the weekend.  I felt so tired, I didn't want to do either one.

I wanted Fred to just do it for me.  He could do the running around and take care of it for me.  I think of Fred a lot.  He loved to go grocery shopping.  He'd haul in the groceries AND put them away.  and of course, his Social Security check, along with mine, paid all the household bills with some left over.

Well, Fred has been gone these last 7 1/2 long years.  So......

I must have had a God Whisper because as I was pondering my Monday duties, I got the idea to call my car repair guys down in Brighton.

"Just bring the car in, Judy.  We can check the Code and see what's going on.  It won't cost anything."

That meant, after I was done there, I would stop at the body shop on the way home---which was only 4 blocks from the service garage and on the same side of the street.  No trying to make a left hand turn across 3 lanes of traffic in the middle of the block.

I got to the service garage at 2:30--told the guys I thought it was probably the O2 Sensor.  (Having worked in a car dealership service department sure comes in handy.)  It took the guy 5 minutes.  Sure enough it is the O2 Sensor, but as long as the car is not running rough, I can just keep driving and have it replaced when I want.  (Get enough money).  The O2 Sensor regulates the gas/oil mixture.  If it is bad, gas mileage will be down and black smoke comes out the exhaust.  The car is running smooth as my cat's fur, so I am not going to worry about it.

On to the body shop.  Girl in there, took my old mirror, ordered a new one and said she'd call when it came in.

I was home by 3:35!!!!!

I am a bit uneasy with driving around without a passenger side mirror.  Not that I need one.  My rear view mirror makes seeing the right side road activity possible.  But you just never know--some cop might see it's missing and pull me over.  So--being the brilliant woman that I am, I have the paper from the body shop, showing the mirror has been ordered, in my purse.  Proof.

Not that I've driven anywhere since Monday, but..............

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We've had 3 days of wonderful weather.  After a week of being shut up in the house with the A/C running, suddenly the humidity calmed down, the temps were in the mid '70's and in the '60's at night, so windows were open for night time sleeping.  I just find it so nice to have the bedroom window open at night.

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Have you ever had an eyelid twitch?  How annoying, right?  For a month or more, I have had twitches in my back muscles.  I only feel them if I am leaning back in my chair or if I lay on my left side at night, but still annoying and I wonder--what causes them.

Age related, right?

I got an e-mail from my cousin.  She has been having digestive problems.  All tests are negative, but bouts of diarrhea, for unknown reasons.  The doc told her it was "age related".

Now that I have reached Level 80, I suppose I am going to have age related stuff.  Age Related means there is nothing they can do for it, I suppose.

Like, dark, crusty spots all over my back.  Drooping eyelids.  Hair falling out.  Arthritis pain.  Twitches in my back muscles.  Constipation.

Ah-hh, it's a wonderful life.

Dear Blog Diary--

I am so weary.  

So tired of the constant battle with this pain.

So tired of the constant worry about money to pay bills.

So tired of having no motivation to do anything.

It is an effort just to get through the day.

Dirty dishes pile up on the counter and, I don't care.

The carpeting needs vacuuming, cat fur, crumbs, pieces of yarn and floss and, I don't care.

It's been so hot and humid.  The A/C on the car only works intermittently. 

I had to drive a 75 mile round trip to visit a friend who needed help on her family tree.  It should have been a pleasant time, but she is slow and talks constantly.  The help she needed took 30 minutes, but I was there 3 hours before I could escape...and escape it felt like.

No food for the cats.  Out of bottled water, milk, bread, plus 2 bags of bottle returns.  I had to go to Walmart to pick up 3 prescriptions and it was the hottest day of the week.    The store feels cool but still very humid.

The gas tank light is lit.  $25.00 and not even full.  So hot standing there filling the tank.

Went through the car wash and my passenger side mirror got ripped off by the scrub brushes.  Didn't this just happen with the driver's side mirror a few months ago?

On the way home, the "Check Engine" light came on.  Now what?

I owe the lawn mowing guy $40.00 and my budget is already $65.00 in the hole.

This next week is going to be very busy, plus I have to find a place to replace my mirror and somewhere that will not charge too much to see why the check engine light is shining.

No phone calls for two weeks.  I have no idea what the family is doing or how they are doing.  They have no idea if I'm even still alive and don't seem to care.  If I didn't post on Face Book everyday, I wonder how long it would take before they noticed and checked on me.

Very, very weary.