Christmas Decoratiosn--BEGONE!

A poem to be continued for the next 12 days:

It’s the first day of Christmas,

And what do I see?

A dang Partridge sitting up high,

In my leafless Maple tree.

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You all know how excited I was that Jennifer and the kids were coming to our family Christmas Eve.  I think I also mentioned that I was going in with no expectations.  I would greet her and the kids the same way I greet any of my other children/grandchildren.  But I gotta tell you, all the way up to The Farm, in the grey, rainy weather, I had a big smile on my face.

My brother-in-law hauled all my stuff in and my sister greeted me with, "Jen and the kids aren't coming.  Evan got Norovirus from his grandma on the cruise and now Elise has it."  My heart hit the slate floor and then she said, "Oh, and Pammie has been with them all week and she is afraid she might be carrying it, so...she isn't coming either."  I wanted to just fall on the slate entryway floor and scream and cry and throw one of those kinds of tantrums I used to throw when I was three!

Pam did come up with her gifts for us, but she had on a mask and dropped the gifts off and left.

Then Karen and Mark arrived with their kids and brought the gifts Jennifer had for us and her planned dish of Deviled Eggs.  (I did not eat any of the eggs from the Norovirus infested home!)

I really tried to be cheerful and I think I fooled everyone that was there.    We all sang carols, while Susan played the piano--like we always used to when our Mother was alive and then Chuck showed us a video he had made of Christmas 1999--when Karen's kids were young.  

My son Mark and his partner, Cindy

Karen & Mark  

Karen's Kids and my Plus One (grandson in-law)

My nephew Adam and his wife and Kate.

At 3:30, Karen & Mark and the kids had to leave to make it 4:30 Mass, it was getting dark and I wanted to start home too.  I was also so worn out and tired I felt like I was getting sick.

I was still so upset so, I stopped at Pammie's on the way home because I wanted to see her open one particular gift from me--the photo collage I had done of her farm--from 1922 on.   We got to talking and griping and I felt better when I left at 5:00.

Of course, it was already dark.  I do not see well enough to drive very well after dark and my parting words to Pammie were, "Well, I'll probably crash into a tree and die on the way home, but I don't care!  I'll never see you again, so I want you to know that I love you!"

She laughed as I ran through the downpour to my car.  She had no idea that, at that time, I really thought crashing into a tree and dying would be a perfect end to Christmas Eve 2014.

I was a very difficult drive!  Every car I met--their headlights, glaring off the wet dark pavement, the rain pouring down, blinding me.  I decided to drive the last 10 miles home the back way--knowing it would be better than having to look at oncoming traffic.

I no more than got in the door and the phone rang.  It was Pammie.  "I called fifteen minutes ago and you didn't answer and I got a bit worried that you might have crashed into a tree. "

"It was a bad drive, but I made it.  Took me about twenty minutes longer than normal.  No, I'm not dead--darn it."

"Love you, Momma.  Merry Christmas."

"Bah!  Humbug!"

I couldn't sleep and finally at 1:00 am, I got up and sat in my chair and just cried and cried.  When they move to NJ, I probably will never have another Christmas with Jen and her family!

Then, I cursed myself of being TOO excited and feeling such anticipation of such a wonderful time.  When will I learn that NOTHING turns out the way I'd like anymore!  
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I woke up around 10:00 Christmas morning and felt like someone had beat me up.  Karen had invited me to come down to their house for dinner, at 3:30.  Her in-laws were going to be there for their Christmas.

I had promised her kids, the night before, that I would see them on Christmas day, so down I went.  We had a nice turkey, stuffing, potatoes kind of dinner--the Thanksgiving turkey dinner I had missed out on.

They were wanting to have their "tree", so we took some pictures and I was home by 5:00.  Perfect!

  















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Woke up this morning, feeling a lot better, but not in the mood anymore for Christmas, so I have spent the day, packing it all away.  

I did get a nice "haul"--gift cards and some $$$ and this nice picture of Jennifer and her family.  She has lost 50# and looks like her gorgeous self again.

At least I know, she was VERY disappointed that she and the kids couldn't come.  That makes me feel a bit better.

Christmas Eve

Today was a bust!

A big goose egg.

The suckiest Christmas Eve ever.

I'm Ready!

Fifties today and misty. I don't care.  I ran around outside without my coat on--much fun.

 24 quarts of spaghetti sauce, in their bags, with their gift tags, ready to go in the transport cooler tomorrow morning.    Pammie has her 4 quarts as does Eric.  At least I don't have to transport theirs :-)

My famous taco dip--have to take this every year.

It is delish!

 ...and the chips to "scoop" it up with

Jennifer and the kid's gifts 

How long has it been since you laid under your Christmas tree and looked up through the branches?  Did you do this as a kid?  

Have you ever made love, on the floor, next to the Christmas tree--not a single light on in the house, except those from the tree? :-)

...and last but certainly not least:

...and to all a Good Night.  Love-----

Christmas Miracles

What a glorious day!  Sunny and 48 degrees.

AND

This e-mail, from my sister,  greeted me at 8:00 a.m.

"Jennifer and the kids will be joining us!  Eric has to work."

Thank you for praying for this--our prayers have been answered, I got my Christmas miracle!!!  Didn't you hear me yelling?  Didn't the sun shine just a bit brighter this morning?

Thank you, God.

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The day was just getting started however.  I got the mail around 11:00 and there were more Christmas cards and letters from people I never get to see AND-surprises!  Christmas gifts!

The first little package I opened was from a kid in Karen's grade.  Vic Betterly.  He lives way up in the UP of Michigan, on Lake Superior.  On Face Book he talks about how he goes along the shore in summer and looks for Agates.  I wrote back once and told him that, when we went camping, if we got near Lake Superior, the kids and I looked and looked for hours along the shore or wading in that frigid water, looking for Agates and we never found any.  Well, in that little pack were Agates!  Raw Agates and beautifully polished ones.  Raw copper from his back yard! and Green Stones from Isle Royale.  I was so excited I just squealed!  After all this time, I finally have some Lake Superior Agates!  How sweet of him to remember me!

Then, I opened up my next Christmas card and inside--another wonderful surprise.  A Dear Friend, that I have never met, a fellow blogger, except she isn't a fellow, a Subway gift card from Sally at Whispering Hope.   

I had wondered what I was going to have for supper--well, that problem solved!  Thank you so much, Sally.  I'd say, "Well, Bless your heart," but I guess down south, that isn't a very nice thing to say?

On to the next card and a lovely letter from a friend who used to play in the community band with me.  She also played French Horn.  I haven't been able to see her since 1986, but at that time, she and I shared a whole lot of talks about being divorced and scared and where could we find a nice SINGLE guy.  She is a mere 4'11" to my 5'11"--we made quite a pair!

Another card & letter from a young woman who I used to work with.  Haven't seen her since 2001--she now has a son in college!  Unbelievable.  She and I and another lady used to hit ALL the Christmas bazaars when I lived in Saginaw.

Then my last Christmas card and inside, a book of postage stamps from my friend Chris!!  Just this morning I looked in my desk drawer and noticed I only had one stamp left and "first of the month" bills coming up that need to be mailed.  How was I ever going to afford a book of stamps?

Man I felt like I had blessings showering down on me from Heaven above!!

I have been giddy with happiness all day long!

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After my Soap, I had to run up to Wal-Mart to get ALL my prescriptions.  Stock up, end of year, just in case my new Medicare Advantage Insurance requires me to pay a bit for them next year.  I am still kind of scared of the new plan.  Haven't received the big book to read through as yet.

I got them--cost to me -$0-YAY!!  Hugged the girls in the Pharmacy and called out, "Merry Christmas" to the rest of the staff.

I also had to get fixings to take up to The Farm for Christmas Eve.  I knew I only had $40.00 in my checking account, so as I walked around the store, I kept track of the amount of each thing.

I also wanted to get some things for my big pot of Chili, but realized, "I don't need to make Chili until next year!", so I didn't get those things.

Plus--my purry furry's were down to two cans of food.  So I had to get that too.

Up to the register.  I had $19.00 on my food card and $1.00 in cash assistance on that card. (I get $1.00 a year cash assistance from the State).   The bill came to $46.00.  Take away the food assistance and it was down to $26.00 and I took that off my Blue Bird card, which is where my Wal-Mart Savings Catcher rebates have been going.  

Badda Boom, Badda Bing!!

I realized that I was only about a mile from my doctor's and dentist, so I bopped down to each office and went in to wish them all a Merry Christmas and "I'll see ya next month!"  I wished a Merry Christmas to everyone in the waiting room too--I am sure they thought this old lady was eccentric and a bit daft, but--I didn't care.  I was feeling the love today.

Back in the car and homeward bound.  But wait.  I still had to get something for my grandson-in-law coming in from Portland.  He can't very well take frozen spaghetti back with him, so....a lottery ticket?  I don't know much about them, but I stopped at a little market half-way home and went in to get a $10.00 one.  Pulled out my debit card, "Sorry.  Lottery tickets are cash only."  Oh Egads!!

"I'm sorry," I said.  "I'll be back tomorrow."

I got home around 6:00, man it still gets dark awfully early--the phone rang, it was Pearl.

"Merle is coming down with a gift for you."

He helped me haul in the groceries and presented me with a, still warm loaf of bread Pearl had baked and a small jar of home made strawberry jam.  Delish, with lots of butter and that jam!

I am so grateful!

Think I am the most blessed woman in this world today.

This has been such a lovely day.  I think I will sleep real well tonight, without any nightmares.

Thank you all again--so much!!

  

The Countdown Begins!

Are you all excited?

Me either--well, kind of, but it will all be over and then what?

A month of having my tree and decorations and shiny lights up and then--

Around December 26th, I get a real strong urge to get Christmas packed away so I can start the new year with a clean house.  My Mother left the tree up until Epiphany--January 6th--we loved it.  Of course we had a real tree and put it up on December 14th, so by January 6th, it was beginning to cover the floor with its needles.

I used to leave mine up too until Divorce changed my whole family celebration.  That first Christmas, I saw the kids on  Christmas Eve up at The Farm, but the next day, they were all going to spend it with their Dad.  Pam came and picked up Jennifer and off they went.  I sat home alone all Christmas Day and so, hurt and angry, I took down the tree and all the decorations.  When Jen got home at 8:00 that night----she walked in the door and said, "What happened to Christmas?"  and I replied, "It's over and done with."

Maybe that's why I still do it?  For a month I feel the anticipation and I have expectations, which of course, never come true and by the time Christmas Day rolls around, I want it out of my house.  I get very depressed after Christmas Day and I feel the need to start a new year, a new beginning, clean and uncluttered.
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Saturday, I did laundry and vacuumed and dusted.  Everything looked and smelled nice and clean.  Jackie came over with a tin box filled with fudge and cookies that she makes.  I gave her a quart of spaghetti sauce and a nylon scrubbie.  Dar came over with some leftover stuff from her work Christmas party--a Christmas cookie, which I ate, and a slice of gingerbread roll filled with cream cheese, which I threw away.  I walked up to Merle and Pearl's and gave them their gifts and we had a nice hour long chat.
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Sunday morning, when I got out of bed and walked into the living room, this is what greeted me.

I know who the culprit is.  The little girl kitty.  She loves to sleep under the tree and I think when she gets up to crawl out, her claws catch in the threads on the fabric of the tree skirt and she drags it along.  I am giving her the benefit of the doubt.  How the ornaments get pulled off and the crystal beaded rope, is probably from her brushing into them.  Don't you think?

The rest of Sunday, I did nothing!  

Jackie had asked me if one of her kids could park in my driveway as they were having their family Christmas.  I told her "sure".  I watched as 8 cars pulled into her drive to let people out and then parked somewhere else.  She had at least 23 people of assorted sizes walk into her house--which is about the same size as mine, but with a lot more "stuff".  I don't know she accommodated that many people in that small house, but they stayed quite a few hours, so I guess they were all having a good time.

I sat and watched TCM (Turner Classic Movies) all afternoon and cross stitched and gave each cat an hour long rock-a-bye, separately so they didn't have to share my lap, read a little bit and thought.

Tomorrow, starts the countdown!!  My food assistance came in today, so tomorrow I need to get up to Wal-Mart and buy what I need for my dish-to-pass for Wednesday up at The Farm.  I also have to remember to get my big ice cooler out of the shed to transport all 28 quarts of spaghetti sauce for my boy's gift.  

Doesn't look like we will have much, if any, snow for Christmas.  This year, it doesn't matter to me.  It seems like many people are sad this year--or "off" just a bit.  I think it is because of our world and our own society's situation.  These are sad and scary times we live in.

"God Bless us, everyone."

Orbiting the Edges

It's sort of strange, not to be the "hub" of my family anymore.  So many years I was and now--just on the fringe.

My Daddy was the center of the family for a very long time.  The man never visited anyone.  If you wanted to see him, you drove out to his house for a visit.  Better not ever miss a Christmas Eve at his house (of course it HAD to be at his house) or he would not be too subtle about how you ruined Christmas Eve because your "absence was certainly noticed."

My parents were raised with quite a bit of guilt and so was I.  I would never disobey my Daddy--even when I was 70 years old!  I made sure, even when I lived 50+ miles away, that I got down to visit him every month.  The couple of days he was in hospital and then the four days he was in Hospice, we traveled up to sit all day in his room--80 mile round trip.  Even though the last three days, he was not aware of anything, we were still there because...well, because we were supposed to be there.

At his visitation and funeral, we were there all day, dressed in our best dresses, the men with shirt and tie, because...well that is just the way it is done.  It would have been a disgrace to him and all our ancestor's if we had not.

Now here I am.  The eldest one in the family.  The Grand Dame (yeah, right) the Matriarch (sure).  Not a single one of my children come to visit monthly--rarely call.  They have not made a trip (12 miles) to come see Mom's Christmas tree or decorations.  Pam came yesterday only because I told her that  while she was in this area, checking on Jen's house and feeding the pets, would she please stop over so I could give her the food.

How come my kids don't feel one teeny, tiny bit of guilt?  Because I raised them not to be.  Because I raised them to be independent and....apparently I did too good a job!!

So on Christmas Eve, there I will sit.  Will there be grandchildren gathered on the floor around my knee to hear my sage advice?  HAH!  The event will last four hours, if we are lucky, than some will run off to Mass and I will have to leave because I can't drive after dark.

I am no longer the hub--I usually feel more like a "nub" just sticking out a bit on the fringe of all the family activities.  Sort of quietly orbiting out there on the edges.
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I posted this on Face Book this morning for, "Throw Back Thursday."

"Early December 1969, Daddy asked Mother what she wanted for Christmas.  She sang, “A partridge in a pear tree.”  A week later, as Daddy was harvesting the last of the corn, he found a dead, frozen partridge laying in a corn row.  He put it in a box and stored it out in the shed to keep it frozen.  He came down to my house, cut a branch off the pear tree and wired the partridge onto it.  On Christmas Eve, Daddy presented the nicely wrapped box to Mother.  When she opened it, she hooted and laughed and said, “Next year I’m asking for ‘five golden rings’ ”.  That’s the way our parents were.  Always kidding and fooling around.  Gag gifts every year.  Much laughter in our home, all the time."

My Daddy was bald at a very young age.  The result of a dandruff treatment he had used--killed all the hair follicles on the top of his head.  He hated being bald!  The year before this pix of Mother, she cut my hair for me in early December.  

"Gosh your hair grows fast. Look at all that hair on the floor!" she said.  Then, "Hm-mm, I have an idea."

She took an old nylon stocking.  Cut off the thigh part and sewed a seam across the top opening.  Then she took my cut-off hair and glued it onto the "skull cap" stocking.  On Christmas Eve, Daddy opened his present and there was his wig.  So funny--there he sat with a band of black hair around the back of his lower head and a blonde wig, covering his bald spot.

My parents were so goofy.  They were always joking and laughing.  They were so sappy in love--like they were in their own little kissy, huggie world and I was just sort of orbiting around the edge.

She looks so healthy in this photo, but she was dead within three months, at age 53.  The day she died, the laughter went out of our family.
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Today I went to our Class Mates monthly luncheon--or as I like to think of it, the meeting of the Old Broads.  I drove up to Byron and parked my car in the church parking lot and met Bethie and she drove on up to Owosso--at least a 40 mile trip for both of us--and it sure was nice to ride along together and chat.

We ate at a new restaurant.  An Italian place, but they didn't have Antipasto salad.  A couple of the girls got pizza and it looked real good.  Everyone liked the food--mine was terrible.  I got Nachos and there may have been 1/4 cup of beef on them and perhaps as much melted cheese and tasteless.  I thought the lunch prices were pricey, but a friend picked up my tab, so............

Then we always try and figure out where we are going to meet next month and no one can decide, or rather, we all try and let someone make the decision for us.  Today, I mentioned going back to a place sort of the middle of where we all live and where I know, I can get a really great plate of Nachos or a huge tasty Antipasto salad and when I said that--one of the girls said, "Oh No!  They changed their menu and I hate it there."

Okay--except, this woman is NOT even one of our classmates!  She is our friend's sister and is 7 years younger than us and personally?  I don't see how she even gets a say in where we eat!!!  So there.

Well anyway, "they" are going to figure out where to go and let the rest of us know.  Maybe I'll go, or maybe I won't.  Like Beth said, "Maybe we will just figure, I'm bored with you women and we won't go until spring."

I feel the same way.  I would much rather get together every 3 months--even every other month would be okay.  That's why I don't go every month.  Nothing new because none of us have very exciting lives and if perchance, you had something interesting to say, the one who talks too much wouldn't shut up or would change the subject in the middle of your interesting news!

The more I go to these lunches, the more I realize why most of them weren't in the group of friends (6) that I ran around with in high school. 

Anyway, today was nice.  Some of the friends are getting bald.  Some are getting mentally weird.  Some are a tad deaf and some talk way too loud and too much.  Some are just as steady and quiet as they have always been.  All of us are old--those tell-tale signs of droopy eyelids and that deepening crease from nose around mouth to chin.

Most of us hate getting old, but we all seem to be pretty healthy so, we may be getting together until we are in our 90's.  Of course, you never know.  One day you are here and the next day...you aren't.

  The one in the back row, far right is the younger sister.  She isn't even 70 yet--looks as old as us, doesn't she?  

By the Way--I am NOT standing on a stool.  

More Nutcracker Photos

Dolls dancing at the Christmas party

No expression as she is still a doll                     

Mice trying to chew on the dolls

 THEN--the dolls come alive (in Clara's dream) and dance before Clara and the Prince!

My Maddie is a living doll for sure!