John stopped by last week to give me a plastic container of blueberries he had picked. I haven't seen John in months. He works nights.
We sat and chatted for about an hour and as he was leaving, I walked over to the door to tell him goodbye. We hugged, as we always have.
He said something I didn't quite understand, something about a cuddle? I thought he was referring to the simple hug. I said, "Yes, hugs are nice."
Then he said, "Call me when you need me. I can stop by."
No big deal. I have called John before to help me lift something heavy out of the trunk of my car.
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The next day, while I was out shopping, when I got home, my answering machine was blinking. It was a call from John.
"Do you want me to come over tonight? Call me back and let me know."
What? Why would I want him to come over? Had I invited him over and forgotten about it?
So I called him back.
"I didn't understand your phone message," I said.
"I wondered if you wanted me to come over tonight."
"No...I...don't need anything. You can come over for a visit if you want."
"No. I meant...what we talked about the other day? I thought maybe you wanted me to come over for a cuddle."
"For...a...cuddle? I don't understand."
"Remember...as I was leaving. I said, 'Maybe I can come over for a cuddle and you said, yes, hugs are nice'."
"I remember saying hugs are nice, but I don't remember anything about a cuddle. What is a cuddle?"
"Well, older people, because they miss and get lonely for human touch, have what they call 'cuddle sessions'"
"What?"
"Cuddle sessions. They just sit on the couch and cuddle while they watch TV or talk. Sometimes they lay on the bed and just cuddle."
"That doesn't sound like a good idea to me."
"Oh...no...no. There is no romance involved. So sex or undressing or anything like that. Just a cuddle."
"Oh....well....ah...I don't think...well...that's not for me, John."
"Okay. If you change your mind, call me."
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What the What?
I've known John for 4 years. We've been good friends. He has never ventured more than a hug when we part. What the heck is this "cuddle session" all about?
So--I Googled it and this is what I found.
About Cuddle Comfort
More than 121,000 people from the United States and around the world use Cuddle Comfort. We created a platform so you can get a cuddle, whenever you want one, at no cost.
We help you create friendships based on cuddling that are pressure free and with no expectation of something more.
Cuddle Comfort started in 2011 with the goal of bringing physical affection to more people without the romantic prerequisites.
The cuddle industry is now booming, and as the inventors of online cuddling, we’re proud to have been part of its conception.
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Well, for goodness sake!!!
I may have missed a great opportunity.
I'm just wondering. John is 5'5". I am 5'10".
Does the taller one cuddle the shorter one?
Or am I supposed to schootch way down so he can cuddle me?
I may have to contact Cuddle Comfort for answers to these questions.
I think John is ticked off at me.
I think I'd hope he is!
ReplyDeleteI would not have called him back
ReplyDeleteyou opened a door.
I think I closed the door, after his explanation.
DeleteOh for heaven's sake. John needs to get a life. Or a dog. Cuddle with a dog, John. Leave Judy alone.
ReplyDeletexoxo
That's how we met. He walked his dog Mazie every day and it got so Mazie would come up on my porch. Mazie died several months. I keep telling him he needs another dog!
DeleteI've heard/read about Cuddle Comfort a few years back, but you're the first person I know who has been approached to do it. I personally think if two people agree to it, one is secretly hoping those cuddles will turn into sex. At least you know you're still desirable to the opposite sex and he didn't ask you to pay for the service. I hear tell they do have "professional" cuddlers who get paid by the hour. LOL
ReplyDeleteWell, I wanted to start a man renting business called You Bear. Not for cuddling however--for driving women places and carrying in groceries. That's why John's question confused and unsettled me because I tend to think that enough cuddling between man and woman would end up going beyond that........and.......I sure am not interested in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DeleteI wondered if John had moved. He's been getting up the courage to offer cuddles! (Wonder if guys get paid for 'that', too?!)
ReplyDeleteYou should have said," No, not really into that, thanks, but I would love for you to take me out for dinner a few times a month. I know you're so generous, you'd always pick up the tab! I'm usually free any night. I'll be waiting for your call!"
Oh My!
ReplyDeleteI'd hope he WAS ticked off - and leaves you alone!
i have never heard of "cuddle comfort"...but it does sound "interesting"!! better than "friends with benefits"!!
ReplyDeletei thought the gesture of blueberries was nice, but it seems he had an ulterior motives!!
I don't think men can JUST cuddle. Maybe I'm wrong ... the younger generation calls it "Netflix and Chill?" and sometimes it is just to have another live body around.
ReplyDeleteFor me, I only do coffee or lunch with a guy friend ... happy hour or dinner is more like a date. That's just me!
No cuddling here; nope, I do very well with my blankie and ice water. :)
ReplyDeleteInteresting post, Judy. But, I guess John had heard of cuddling and thought he'd try it out with. Is that a compliment? LOL
xoxo
Wow, that is awkward. I am glad you shared this in case anyone asks me for a cuddle, I will know what they mean. What a strange world we live in, and yes, he needs another dog.
ReplyDeleteI've learned something new, Judy. This is the first place I've heard of cuddling. I think the suggestion that he get a dog is a good one. People need companionship. H met a man who told him that when his wife was dying, she made him get a dog before she died.
ReplyDeleteI've seen several news stories on TV the past several years about cuddling -- businesses set up to provide this service -- a form of therapy. The most recent was an interview with a young woman who presented this quite seriously, to be regarded much as one might think of other types of emotional support. She spoke of the human need for touch and stressed sex was not part of the package. Individuals purchased time by the hour. Trying to keep an open mind, I thought about massage which has proven to be beneficial for some people but also exploited for other purposes by certain people. Personally, I wouldn't welcome cuddling with a stranger or even a lot of people I know. Having to pay to cuddle would wipe out any emotional benefits for me. ;-) I guess as long as both people know the ground rules and sincerely believe in them it could work -- maybe with a friend -- but surely seems like cuddling is the proverbial "slippery slope". Maybe we're old-fashioned?
ReplyDeleteMaybe John saw that same TV news item and made the mistake of assuming you had, too, so figured you knew what he was talking about. Why don't you ask him, then you can laugh it all off as not a therapy you're interested in.
Have you heard from John since that happened Judy?
ReplyDelete