Flags, Football and Feelings

I hear a rumor that a cold front is headed this way and we "may" have cooler temps by Wednesday evening.  I dislike having to be closed up in the house--just like we are in winter.  We should not be, this time of year.  I had to go to the store today, with my car A/C that works--intermittently.  Today it worked--at least for half the drive.  ARGGH!!
===============
I got yelled at today, on FB, by my cousin.  I posted:

Well, that does it! I've never liked him. I didn't want to vote for him, but I hoped, along the way, he could become Presidential.
Although, I will never change my support for the values of a Moderate Republican Party, I have lost what little respect I ever had for this President.
I can no longer tolerate his loud, arrogant manner and especially his crude and vulgar language; in a public forum, in front of our Country and the World.

She commented that I should keep such thoughts to myself as this kind of talk makes our country divided.

I commented back, that President Obama divided our county, but that at least he never used vulgar language in public, anyway.

==================

To my way of thinking, if you purport yourself to be a Christian, your way of life, and your language should support your words.  If you claim it, you better walk the walk.

He doesn't.  Okay, benefit of the doubt, maybe he's a baby christian==small "c", and he is working on trying to correct his bad habits?

It doesn't appear that way.

Whatever he is, I wouldn't allow that kind of language in my house, so I don't have to listen to or watch him.  He is disgusting, in my opinion, and an embarrassment to me and our Country.

============

Like Hillary Clinton stating that her Methodist upbringing and faith are what her life is based on.   From observing her language, her belief system and all the crookedness she had done--I take offense.  She in no way represents any Methodist I have known, nor my church tenets.  She gives Methodist's a bad name!

I can't stand her!

==============

Well, there isn't any President we can believe.  After watching the PBS documentary on the Viet Nam war, that is apparent.  Every single one of them lied.  Every single one of them gave false numbers to the press, trying to make it look like we were winning, when in reality, every single one of them AND the Generals knew and said, it was an un-winnable war.

They all make me sick.

============

and as for those overpaid, entitled, spoiled brats that play professional football?  The rules set forth for the NFL states that teams should stay in the tunnel while the National Anthem is being played, BUT if they are on the field, they "should" stand, hold their helmet with their left hand and place their right hand over their heart.

Apparently they are using the "should" clause to get away with displaying their disrespect for the many men and woman who have died to give them the right to play professional sports.

They all make me sick.  (even though I don't watch their games.)

=============

and if any one in my family didn't?  None of them are too big or too old, that I still couldn't box their ears! 

I'm real hard nosed about these kinds of things.  I was once seated in the high school gym watching a basketball game and at half time, the band played the School Song.  There was a big kid sitting down beside me and I scolded him and then shamed him into standing for school song.

"You go here to school?"

"Yeah."

"Then stand up for your school song."

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Miller."  and he sheepishly stood.

I attended a Michigan State basketball game that Karen and Mark had taken me too.  At the beginning, I stood (and sang) the school song, as did they.  During the game, every time the Pep band played the school song, I stood, but noticed Karen and Mark didn't.

I asked, "Why aren't  you standing for the school song?"

"Oh Mom...they play it so many times at basketball games."

"Then you stand, so many times.  You're an Alumni.  Show your respect for your school--every time the song is played."

could be why they haven't taken me to another MSU basketball game?   

So--I am boycotting NFL football and President Trump.  Just like i did President Obama.  When he appears on TV, I click to another channel.  It tends to make watching the National News a lot more positive experience.  

Heat, Umbilical Cords and Turkey

It has come to the point of being ridiculous!!

Never--well I shouldn't say never because, once eons ago it was 91 on a late September day in Michigan, but never in recent history--like over 100 years, has it ever been that hot.

I'm not just talking hot--humid too.  

Just 8 days ago, we had our furnaces on, all night and half the day.  Then...because Hurricane Jose', out on the east coast was preventing a cold front from moving to us, it zoomed up to day time temps of 91 degrees.  

Michigan.  With red, orange and golden leaves falling gracefully to the ground, looking for all intents and purposes like autumn outside, we are closed up in our homes with the A/C running night and day.

It is ridiculous!!!

If we can wait until Wednesday evening, the temp is suppose to drop 20 degrees.

I hate it!  I want to have my door and windows all open and feel the coolness and sense the autumn spells.  I also want rain, of which we have had none in a couple of weeks.

As far back as I can remember, except last year, we always had 3 days in the middle of September where it rained--almost constantly-- for 3 whole days.  My Mother explained to me that we needed that fall rain so the spring flowering bushes could store up water.  So, with no rain, I have a feeling that my Lilac bushes, are not going to be very full of blooms, next April.
===============
Saturday, I had another God Moment, or what I perceived it to be.

Pearl's grand daughter was expecting a baby in October.  When I found out last spring, I got busy crocheting an afghan for the wee babe.  I finished it up Friday night and Saturday, took it up to Merle and Pearl's.

I walked in their house and there sat their daughter and grand daughter--who was holding a baby girl.  I just stood there, mouth hanging open.

The grand daughter said, "Surprise!"

The tiny baby was only 36 hours old.  She weighed a mere 5 pounds.  I have never seen one that tiny.  All wrinkled up and eyes closed.

"She's barely opened her eyes," said Pearl.

"I don't think she knows she's born yet," said the grandma.

I sat down and momma came over and laid the precious girl in my arms.

I brought her up close and whispered a prayer/blessing in her ear.  Then eased my arm back down.

She opened her eyes and looked at me.  Then, she laced her teeny fingers together and just stared and stared at me.

Her momma, coming back from the kitchen noticed and said, "Oh my Gosh.  Mom come look.  Look at how she has her hands...like she's praying.  Look.  She is just staring and staring up at Judy!"

She got behind the chair we were sitting in and took photos of the baby, with laced fingers and open eyes.

"The grandma said, "I saw you whisper something in her ear.  What did you say?"

"Ah.....I just whispered a blessing and asked God to protect her all her life."

The Momma looked down at me, "I think she understood what you said!  She's staring at you because she thinks you are an angel!"

"I doubt that," I laughed.  "She probably just decided to wake up for a bit."  and I handed her back to her momma.

I have to admit, sitting there alone with that baby, while all the others were talking amongst themselves, having her lace her fingers like that and stare at me, was kind of a strange feeling.  My chest got all warm and my stomach tightened.. It was weird and I still haven't forgotten how I felt.

I always whisper a prayer/blessing in my grandkids ears, the first time I get to see them after they are born, but I never got that reaction from any of them.

It WAS...a moment.
==================
The baby girl's name is, London.  I rather prefer children that have names so, just on hearing the name, you know the gender of the child, but....that's just me.  I don't like being confused.
"So, how is your son Markey doing?"
"Oh...Markey is my daughter.  Madigal is my son."
You know what I mean?

Anyway, this momma has an 11 year old daughter, named Brooklyn.  No Daddy around.  They lived with Pearl's daughter for many years.  Now the grand daughter has purchased a manufactured home, up in the new part of our Park, about two blocks from her Mom.

The young momma and her daughter have always been close.  A bit too close I always thought because she reacts to her 11 year old daughter, like they are sisters.

So, I found out the 11 year old was in the room with momma and grandma, during labor and delivery.  She even got to cut the baby's umbilical cord.  

Now, I know I'm old fashioned, but.............?

I was 13 when my little sister was born and not only did I not know HOW she was born, but I had no clue how she got in my Mother's tummy!!!!

When my own were born, I was glad father's were not allowed in the delivery room and I kept my eyes closed tightly so I wouldn't see my own baby born!

EYUCK!  comes to mind!  

Karen was born in the labor room, just her and me, and I did see the umbilical cord and marveled at how long it was, but I quickly averted my eyes while the nurse cut it free.
=======
I suppose, their thinking was how the 11 year old will remain close to her little sister because she helped her be born?  TMI for that kid is my way of thinking.
=============
Sunday, at 5:00, I did my duty, left my comfortable recliner and air conditioned home and walked the 150 hot and humid steps up to Sheila's for the new neighbor, supper.

I observed no cats on the table or counter tops, so I was a bit more comfortable eating there.  Nine of us. Dar, her Dad, her sister-in-law (i don't know why she was there), the two new neighbor's and their parents, Sheila and me.  The new neighbor kids live in the house next to Sheila's and have been gutting and re-doing the whole house.  Their parents are helping.

It was actually lovely and the food was quite yummy--except she puts sugar in everything, including the dressing, mashed potatoes and gravy, which seemed odd to me, but then..I'm no gourmet for sure.

I was kind of a noisy table, which is unusual for me and I sat next to Dar and her loud voice.  She kept trying to communicate with her Dad at the other end of the table.  That poor guy.  She corrects almost everything he says, or if someone asks him a question, she answers for him.

Which she used to do to me if we were with other people, until one time I said, "I am perfectly capable of answering for myself, Dar."

The man is very sharp minded and can hear well and can answer for himself, if she lets him.  After dinner, I sat in the chair next to him and we had a good conversation.  Dar was sitting across the room on a couch, puffing on her e-ciggie, and I could see, she was straining to hear what Dad and I were talking about, but her sister-in-law was yakking at her, so she had to lend her a bit of attention.  HAH.  


I walked back home around 7:30.  It was nice and I'm glad I attended.
=============
I found out later.  Dar's sister-in-law, who lives 3 hours  north of here, came down to take Dar to an appointment today.  I guess they thought it best as--did I tell you--how Dar and her GPS, got lost trying to get to the same place, a couple of weeks ago.  

The Atumnal Equinox

What a beautiful, sunny day.  A nice day to look out at all the fallen leaves on neighbor's lawns or go for a nice walk, up the Service Day, scuffing along in the leaves, smelling their fragrance.

Did I do that?  NO!  It's 92 degrees with humidity at 71% out there.  It is stifling!!

A week ago I had the furnace on during the night and in the morning.  Now I have the A/C on--all day long!

We are setting records, or so they say.  The pressure from Jose' out on the east coast, is keeping a cold front in Minnesota from coming in and cooling us off.

It is the weirdest feeling, to look out and see what appears to be a normal, September day and yet it feels hotter than July.

I am not liking this one bit!!!!

====================

Yesterday afternoon, I decided I wanted to make a casserole that I really like and it freezes well for future dinners. Got all the pans and ingredients out. 

Trying to chop the veggies, with my hand tremor, I narrowly missed cutting my left thumb. Sauteing the veggies, in the dang copper skillet, that I bought because I thought it would work great, the dang thing is so slippery that, again because of the tremors, stirring, veggies wanting to ride up the walls of the pan and escape onto the stove top or floor.

20 minutes into the process, my back was screaming so bad, I had to turn everything off and sit down.

10 minutes later--Turn the gas back on, get everything back up to heat again, add the rest of the ingredients and pour into the casserole dish. However, the skillet was so heavy, loaded with everything, I had a hard time getting it over to the casserole dish.

Now to sprinkle shredded cheese on top. Dump some cheese in my palm to sprinkle, a hand tremor occurs and the cheese goes flying, onto the stove, counter top, floor.

Hm-mm. Okay, just dump the cheese, outta the bag and in the middle of the casserole dish concoction and spread it around that way.

Sit down, rest back, wait for oven to pre-heat.

How to get heavy dish down and into the oven. I actually braced my legs like I was going to lift a bar-bell! Into the oven, slide it back to the middle. Oven heat feels like it is melting my glasses.

Now, I wait 35 minutes and hope the pot holders don't slip and I can get the thing on top of the stove to cool.

I used to love to cook elaborate dishes. Each vegetable chopped to the exact size. Standing at the stove for an hour, stirring and adding ingredients. Now--it is a tedious, painful, experience and one I won't repeat very soon.

ARGGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

===============

Dar called last night around 7:00.  "Dad has no energy.  He's been sleeping most of the day and now seems confused.  I just took his blood pressure and it's 80 over 50.  Do you think I should take him up to the ER?"

"Yes, as quickly as possible.  He could be going into heart failure."

"Okay--I knew that you'd know."

Wait.  What?  I am no nurse.  I don't want to be responsible for her Dad's health--for any one's health.  Wouldn't anyone with a lick of common sense know that the BP reading was too low to not get checked out?

I called her at 9:30.  They were still in the ER.  Dad was dehydrated.  He has been sneaking at not drinking his water again--for the 3rd time in 6 months.  Dar hands him a bottle of water and goes off about her business.  When she checks, the bottle is empty.  He confessed that he pours half the bottle in the plant on his chair-side table.  HAH!

==============

Sheila, Dar's friend stopped in late yesterday afternoon.  She is having a get-together this Sunday for dinner.  She has invited the two new neighbors that have moved in on both sides of her, also Dar, her Dad and me.

Of course, my first instinct was to give an excuse, but I couldn't find one, so I said, "Yes."

Sheila is an odd duck.  The antithesis of Dar.  Short and squat and very quiet.  Never married, about 60 years old.  She is Dar's pet, will do anything she asks and runs errands for her.

She is grilling a turkey that she was given last Thanksgiving, from her work.  It has been frozen all this time.  She's having dressing and mashed potatoes and Sweet Potato Pie  I have a few qualms--like her cats are allowed to sit and roam up on her counter tops.  Her trailer is crammed with all sorts of knick knacks and other stuff.  I will go with an open mind and meet the new neighbor's and try and be nice.  It is suppose to be only 88 degrees on Sunday. I hope she has air conditioning.

==================

I wrote about this Tuesday and still enjoying and watching the PBS, Ken Burns documentary on the Viet Nam War.  So many things that happened in the beginning years, I did not know about.  The government told us nothing of what was going on, except to report that we were winning.  Which of course, we never were.

The more I watch, the madder I get.  It was in 1967--or 1968, when most of my friends and others our age, lost their trust and belief in our government.  We were supportive in the early 60's, but by mid to late 60's, totally against it.  

We were born and brought up during WWII.  Our grand father's served in WWI and now our Uncles in WWII.  We were patriotic and very much believed in our government and supportive of their causes.  They were there to protect and guide us.

One reason I didn't vote in the 1964 election.  Oh, I voted, but I didn't check the box for either Presidential candidate.  Goldwater stated he would go over there and use everything we had to bomb North Viet Nam into submission.  Johnson stated, "I will not send your boy's to Viet Nam", which was a lie.

All any of the Viet Nam, north and south people, wanted was for the French to get out so they could form their own democracy and run their own government.

Ho Chi Minh, had written a letter to President Truman for talks and how to form their democracy.  The letter was never given to the President to read.  Ho went along with Russia and China (communists) who sent him aid and weapons.  Perhaps, if the President had read that letter..................................?

We never should have gone there in the first place.  Advisors--reminds me of what is going on in Iraq and Afghanistan right now.  Advisors.  Than, more and more troops will be sent in.

Pardon my crude language, but Viet Nam was F.U.B.A.R. from the beginning.

It's a good documentary though.  Not slanted to any political side, just shows interviews and phone calls between the President's and high ranking military men.

Every night at 8:00 on PBS.

A loss for words............

Yes--me.  Who never is at a loss for words and at times, should be--perhaps?

I don't know what to call these unexpected meetings with people that, A.  Should never have happened and B.  Left me in a state of awe.

I want to be able to put a title on it.  "God Sighting"?  "God Whisper"?  "Angel Meeting"?  

"Lovely Coincidence"?  Well, it's more than that because, it never should have happened.  There have always been unexpected or even changes earlier in the day that have resulted in these "occurrences".

Just like with Deputy Lawson, last week.  I ALWAYS--ALWAYS stop at that 4-way stop sign.  I didn't on last Thursday and as a result, got to meet Deputy Lawson and that meeting re-charged my spirit.

"Life Changing"?  No--that's too big a title.  Not life changing.  

All I know is that, these rare occurrences fill me with wonder, because, as I said before, they never should have happened.
=============
Yesterday.  My appointment at the Food Bank.  Like it always is--every third Wednesday of the month at 11:00.  Always.

The night before, I made a list of my Wednesday activities.  Food Bank.  Bank deposit.  Walmart- pick up prescription, milk, tuna, onion, candy, cocoa, bread.  Use food card=$33.00 on it.

I woke up, said my prayers, fed the cats, no milk or cocoa for my hot cup of chocolate, so I grabbed a protein drink, came in and clicked on Face Book.  At 9:30, I looked at my calendar and then glanced over to make sure I had everything I needed for my trip to the food bank and Walmart.

Checked my e-mails, checked some blog posts.  Glanced down at the computer clock and noticed, it was 10:55--froze!  "OH MY GOSH.  I HAVE TO BE AT GLEANER'S IN FIVE MINUTES!!!"

Ran into the bathroom, jumped into some clothes, realized.............11:15, ..........it ain't happening.

I got a Diet Pepsi our of the fridge, came back in the computer room and called them and explained and apologized for missing my appointment.

"We have one opening this afternoon," the lady said.

"Oh good.  What time?"

"Five fifteen."

I groaned to myself.  "Nothing tomorrow?"

"No.  We are filled up until next week."

"I'm afraid there won't be anything left that I use that late in the day."

"We close from three to five to restock the shelves."

"Okay...thanks.  I'll see you at five fifteen.  Thanks again."
==============
Just great!  I had messed up my whole day!   I'd have to go to the bank and Walmart before I stopped at the food bank.  What if I got delayed and was late to the appointment?  Things happen.

So, at 2:00, I went up to the bank and Walmart, picked-up my prescription, got my few groceries = $27.00, I used my Bridge Card (food stamp).

I got home around 3:00, emptied out the car, put everything away and sat down to rest and watch coverage of Hurricane Maria.

I must have dozed off because I woke with a startle, looked at the clock, 4:40.  Good thing the food bank is only 2 miles away.    Traffic was heavy at that time of day, of course, but I pulled into the parking lot at 5:10.
============
I was greeted by a man that looked familiar to me, but...I'm always seeing people I think I know, but don't know.

He asked if he could help me find anything, "No thanks. I'm good. Thank you."

I walked up and down the aisles in the small store.  I found a gallon of drinking water--which brought me great glee.  No cat food.  I didn't need peanut butter, jelly, flour--no canned goods of any kind.  Pork and beans.  

I am allowed 60#.  Some things don't count toward weight.  Some items are restricted--like 2 meats, 1 peanut butter, 1 sugar.

I walked up to the scales and the same man pulled my cart up to be weighed.  "You only have twenty-two pounds.  Don't you want to go back and get more?"

"No.  I only take what I will need...usually around twenty-four pounds.  I scored today with the gallon of water.  I was glad to find that.  I did need cat food, but.........."

"Wait here a minute."

He walked off and a few minutes later came back, carrying two more gallons of water and said, "If you want, we just got cat food in.  I haven't had time to get it stocked yet, but you can look it over.  See if it's anything you could use."

Oh my Gosh.  Cans and cans of all different kinds of wet cat food.  I picked-up six cans and brought them up to my cart.

"You do know that pet food doesn't count toward weight.  Why don't you go back and get six more cans?"

"Oh, I don't want to take it all.  Someone else will need it too."

"We have more cases of it in the back room.  Go on.  Help yourself."

So, I did.

While I was waiting to be checked out, the guy disappeared again.  I asked one of the ladies, "That guy looks so familiar to me."

"Ohh, you mean David.  David Seifert?"

"Oh my Gosh!  He is friends with my daughter's (Karen) family.  They go to the same church!"

So when he came back, carrying another gallon of water for me, I said, "David, I'm sorry I didn't recognize you.  I knew you look familiar, but........"

"We met at Stephen's open house and then at Maddie's.  How's the family doing?"

"Just great.  Marcus is engaged."

"I had heard that.  And that great grand baby of yours?"

"They are having her first birthday party in October."

"Could I help carry this out for you?"

When we got to my car and while he was putting the stuff in my trunk, I said, "I knew I knew you when you greeted me at the door, but a different surrounding and I couldn't place where I had met you."

"Well, I don't say anything to our clients unless they recognize me first.  They might be embarrassed."

"A couple of years ago, I would have been.  I've put my pride way up on the top shelf in the closet.  Thank you so much, David.  I so appreciate this place and appreciate you volunteering here.  Thanks again."

"God bless you," he said.

"He certainly has," I replied.
=====================
IF I hadn't missed my regular appointment, this lovely encounter wouldn't have happened.  Because he knew me, he helped me get things I would not have seen.

IF I had dozed a few more minutes--I would have missed that appointment.

If, if, if!
==========
A coincidence?  I don't think so.  

What to call these kinds of things?  I haven't any idea.

I just look upwards and say, "I know that was you.  Thank you, God."

Chores

Luna--my sister is fine with my messaging her.  She was just hassleing me.  Our family is like that--always has been.  Nothing serious can be taken seriously.  It might be too scary, so we joke about it and are sarcastic.  You should hear the story my girls have about how they are going to commit me to the nursing house, when the time comes.  They have it all planned out and it is quite a hilarious scene to visualize.

I message my sister a different emoji every morning, reflecting my mood.  She answers back with a thumbs up.

My sister and I especially, don't show emotions-not scary or sad ones.    While we both hug our girlfriends, and hug and kiss and say "I love you", to our kids, she and I don't hug each other.  I have in the last two years said, "I love you" to her when we part or when I get ready to hang up the phone.  Last Thursday, I hugged her goodbye.  It feels a bit strange to both of us, I know.  We love and count on each other deeply, we know that, so the extraneous gestures seem not to be needed.  Although, I know they are.
======================
The safety pin I used a month ago to attach the toilet flush handle onto the chain that pulls up the flapper to allow water to rush in and flush, rusted out.  I thought the safety pin was made of stainless steel--apparently not.

I got some picture hanging wire and spent two days fixing the dang thing.  Put the wire through the clip (which broke a couple of years ago) hole on the flush handle and attached it to the chain that pulls up the flapper.  Tried it out and noticed, it was so short it wouldn't pull up the chain far enough to let in enough water.  It had taken me nearly an hour to do that.  No light to see--trying to hold a little flashlight in my mouth, hands shaking like crazy.

The next day, I was determined to re-do it.  This time the wire was so long that it barely pulled up the flapper to let any water down into the toilet bowl.  EGADS!!!!!!!!

Yesterday, I tried again.  The wire was already twisted securely in both places.  I just had to untwist it from the top part on the flush handle, where I could see the best, and adjust the length.  Of course, anything I do like this is impeded by the hand tremors I have.

I thought I had it just right and when I flushed, it isn't quite long enough, but it lets in enough water to flush the "debris" out of the bowl and that is good enough!!!!

I don't know of any man that could fix it any better than I can and of course, you all know why I can't hire a plumber to put all new innards in the tank and have it work perfectly for a few years.

I also put up a solar-motion detector light over my door.  The stupid thing had sticky tape on the back, which of course didn't hold, so I taped all around it with clear mailing tape.   I switched the switch to "automatic on", thinking it would stay off until someone came near it.  The dumb thing appears to stay on all   the   time!  Haven't figured it out as yet, but I will.  or get frustrated and throw the dang thing in the trash!
===================

Today, I have done laundry and no issues so far.  I do need to go outside and clean out the dryer vent with the big long, round wire brush head thingie.  I like to do that while the dryer is running.  Oh, and I forgot.  I have to drain the water heater!!!  I'll do that when I clear out my closet to swap out my summer clothes.  I can wait on that I guess, as the rest of the week and weekend are supposed to be in the mid-80's.

We had autumn in August and now we are having summer in September.  Mother Nature must be getting way senile because she sure has been confused this year!
========================
Look at these two loaves of bread.  They look just alike, don't that?  Both 12 grain bread, which I love, because it has whole pieces of wheat and oats to bite into.  Both wrappers have the same colors.

While the one on the right is delicious and made by Brownberry, the one on the left is tasteless and the grains are ground up finer.  The one on the right is being eaten and enjoyed--the one on the left is being torn up in pieces for the squirrel/bird feeder.  This is what happens when one doesn't take their glasses to the grocery store.    and yet--I'll bet, here are people way smarter than me that might get the two mixed up!
==============
I have really been enjoying the new PBS Ken Burns documentary of the Vietnam War.  It is on every night at 8:00, on PBS.  So  much I didn't know about the early part and how the whole fiasco got us involved.  The documentary is done really well because it casts no political judgment.  There is no slant to it.  Ken Burns researched and documented it for 10 years, interviewing people from both sides.  It sure has been enlightening to me.  I was one of those all for it people in the mid 60's and all against it by the 70's.  

Sending "advisers" over there to teach the ARVN (South) how to fight.  Hard to do when they didn't want to fight--all they wanted was the French to get out and for them to form their own independence.  Kind of reminds me of our "advisers" now in Iraq and Afghanistan. Seems the only people getting killed are the advisers!

This documentary let's you form your own opinions about the War.  I know, mine have changed.
=================

Weirdos in my life.........................

I do love Monday's!!!  Always have.  When I was a kid, living out in the country with no neighbor kids to play with---I loved Monday's to get back to school and see my friends.

When I was divorced and living alone out in the country--I loved Monday's to get back to work and see my friends.
===================
When I visited my sister on Thursday, I told her of the reoccurring fear of dying in the middle of the night and no one finding me for days or weeks.

The fear, which is rarely thought of, came back after the Tachycardia I had middle of the night Tuesday.  I wondered about, who would find me if my heart just stopped and I died.

"Your neighbors would notice after awhile."

"You know how my car is sometimes parked in the drive for three-four days.  They'd just think I was inside."

Chuck walks in.  "Chuck, Judy is afraid she will die in the middle of the night."  Chuck:"Well, I guess you can't stop that from happening."  "No, she's afraid no one will find her for a week."  Chuck: "Why would you care...you'd be dead.  Wouldn't the neighbor's notice after awhile?"

"No--only by the stench coming from the house, four days later!"

"Keep your air conditioner on, says Chuck as he walks out of the room.

" I thought you and Pearl had a signal," said Susan.

"That was when I had hip surgery.  I put my bedroom blinds up every morning to signal her that I was okay."

"Well, do the same now."

"That was five years ago.  She doesn't even look out her bedroom window and if she did, she wouldn't remember if the signal was blinds up or blinds down."

"Well, so what.  You'd be dead.  Why would you care?"

"I don't care about me.  I worry about the person that would find my rotting pile of flesh.  I worry about the cats not being fed for a week."

"The cats would probably start nibbling on you!  she laughs.  If you were decomposed, then we'd just cremate you."

"I DON'T WANT TO BE CREMATED!!!"

"Why not?  It would be cheaper."
I'm about to slap her laughing, sarcastic face!  She is not taking any of this seriously!

"Because--it gives me the creeps!  I don't want to be burned up in an oven.  Fred was and it creeped me  out for the two years I had his ashes up on the shelf in the bedroom closet!"

"Well, when we are raptured, we take on new bodies anyway."

"Fine.  I want the bones I died with.  Not a pile of ashes that God has to reassemble.  Besides that--I'm not talking about funerals.  I am afraid I will die in the middle of the night and it will be a horrid shock for my kids to have to go through."

She just shook her head.  She wasn't very sympathetic to my problem.  Of course, she's not a widow, old and living all alone, so she cannot relate!
Someday.  Someday, you just wait little sister.  You'll be all alone and scared in the middle of the night too!

Did I say that?  Of course not!

 "Do you check Face Book every day?" I asked.

"Oh--after I wake up and have breakfast.  Some days, around ten, I open it up, just to see what's going on."

"Would it be inconvenient to you if, when I got up in the morning, I sent you a private message just to let you know I'm alive?"

"Okay.  It would have to fit in with my schedule.  You'd have to do it before ten in the morning."

"I can do that."

"If you private message me, it goes to my phone, so even if I didn't open Face Book, I'd still see the message."

"Thanks.  That would really be a comfort to me."

"What if you forget?"

"I won't!"

"You might."

"If you don't see a message, call me."

"I guess I could do that."

Lord a mercy!!!  You would have thought I had ask to take over her entire life!!   Little Brat and a half!!!
=================
Dar, her Dad and friend Sheila are gone on vakay until September 25th.  She commanded me to go over and pick the cherry tomatoes, so her Dad wouldn't come home to find his veggies rotting away. She instructed me to share them with Merle and Pearl and also Jackie.

 I took my little bucket over yesterday afternoon.  GOOD GRIEF.  He had six large tubs planted with cherry tomato plants.  Too different pepper plants in two other tubs and a sad looking cucumber vine in another tub.

I picked all the ripe tomatoes I could find--I noticed the ones laying on the floor of the porch hadn't been picked.  Her back hurts--she wouldn't bend over.  Well, I DID--so there, and my back is in worse shape than hers!

I took the bucket over to Merle and Pearl's and gave the veggies to them.  Jackie wasn't home, so I figured when I picked again this Wednesday, I give those to Jackie.

At 2:00 this afternoon, I saw Shelia's car parked in Darlene's driveway.  Oh, oh!  Back  already?  Maybe 96 year old Dad got sick?

I trotted over.  "Why you back so soon?" I asked Sheila.

She rolled her eyes, "Darlene can't stand all the driving.  It makes her back hurt."

Just then Dar appeared, "I thought maybe Dad got sick, "I said.

"No.  It's me.  I can't stand the riding."

Sheila looked at me and said, "This has been an eye opening experience for Dar.  I think she is finally realizing what all the doctors and us have been telling her.  This is as good as it gets.  She has all the recovery she is ever going to get!"

"I don't like to hear that!!!  Last year I didn't go because it was just a few months after my accident.  I am so much better now." Dar said.

"Apparently not," quips Sheila.

"Remember the last time you and I talked Dar.  I told you that you were going to have to come to grips with the knowledge that you are older and you are just going to have to learn how to live with the aches and pains that come with that.  Sheila has.  I have.  Your Dad has.  It happens."

"Nope!" Dar said.  "I will find another doctor.  There has to be a specialist that knows how to deal with this and can cure it!"

"Well" I said as I started to walk away, "I'm real sorry you had to come home early."

She can hunt for all the specialist's she wants, but when she refuses to do what they say, or take any medications to help, refuses to go get mental therapy, which now three of her last doctor's have advised, I think she is just making herself more miserable.

At least she got her dang tomatoes and peppers picked!
==============
I have filled up the squirrel feeder a bit early this year.  I want to give them a chance to store up their goodies before, what I hear is going to be a harsh winter, sets in.  I have shelled corn, peanuts, sun flower seeds and other bird seed in the planter.

I am not discriminating.  Fur and fowl are welcome to the Miller Diner Buffet.
It's easier than trying to keep all the bird feeders filled and they seem to like it just as much.

Sammy Squirrel

Sassy Blue Jay, who screeches and carries on so over the peanuts

Daddy Cardinal

My favorite, Chippie

...and I sit in my recliner and see all that goes on.

...or I look off to the side of my recliner and see these two..

Buddy is by far the sweetest of the two.

He was enjoying the view, but when Maggie came along,

he jumped down and let her have a turn.

Works in mysterious ways........

I sat here, Thursday morning, and composed a post entitled, "Lost My Joy".

For the last couple of months, I have been sad, depressed, no ambition to do anything.  I was dreading going to lunch that afternoon.  Just didn't want to drive--see people--have to make conversation.  I didn't even feel like stopping in at The Farm, on the way home.

Hunting for a logical excuse to stay home.  There was none.

I figured I HAD to go.  I didn't publish that post, hoping that perhaps, if I went to lunch, maybe I'd have something better to post when I got home.

I dragged myself into the shower.  I loaded the dishwasher.  I kept looking at the clock, dreading Noon, when I had to leave.  I slowly got dressed, I don't even remember what I wore.

The Cuckoo clock told me it was Noon.  I loaded up my stuff, and with a sigh, got in the car.

==============

I wasn't particular with my driving.  I had set my cruise control on 55mph and was looking around at the fields and the changing colors on the trees. Trying to find something to smile about.

Noting different houses, farms.  The roads so familiar to me, meeting another car, every few miles.  Never any traffic of any kind, until I get to Durand.

That is probably why I didn't make a full stop at that stop sign.  I know that corner well.  When coming from the Farm, which is west of that stop sign, I always stop.  The brush is so high on one side of that corner, I usually stop twice.  Once at the sign, then ease out and stop again, trying to see.  This time, I was coming from the East and I could see real well.

Also, I had been thinking about my best friend, Arlene's childhood home, that I just just passed.  Thinking about her and our times together.  I saw no traffic, besides it is a 4-way stop, so I just turned right and went on.

At the next stop sign, another 4-way stop, I was so enthralled at noticing and exclaiming about the Purple and Gold mums, no cars coming, I "may" have idled through.

=================

Then I had my encounter with Deputy Lawson.  After our 15 minute relationship, I found my self laughing.  Smiling as I drove along.  Excited to tell my friends about the encounter.  Knowing they would laugh and joke about it with me.  I was a real speed demon in High School, so they thought I had been stopped for speeding.  "Ah--you finally got caught!" they all said.

I don't remember much about lunch, I was still thinking about Deputy Lawson.

Out to The Farm where I told my sister and BIL about my encounter.  

"We always stop at that stop sign.  I've seen cars blow right through there."

"Hm-mm.  Maybe that's why Deputy Lawson was there. Complaints to the Sheriff and he sent him there that day to watch?"

================

Friends, I don't know the how or why, but I have found my joy again, and it's Deputy Lawson's fault.

I wake up every morning smiling again.  I say a prayer for him, with a smile.  I can still see his face and hear his voice and all we talked about.

As one of you commented on my Friday post, "It was a God sighting."

I had been praying for God to help me find my joy again.  Praying for the last month.  So discouraged.  So sad and depressed.  Feeling so alone.  Then I met Deputy Lawson.

Nothing has changed in my circumstances.  I still don't have enough money each month.  I'm still alone.  I still fear dying in the middle of the night and not being found for a week--or more.  Everything is still the same, but...I have found my joy and positiveness that God will sustain me.

There is no one that could ever convince me, being stopped by the Deputy was just a coincidence.  God put Deputy Lawson in my path that day.  I know it for sure!!