It smells like Little Italy in here---

Spaghetti sauce making continues.

It looks like there is a Christmas tree outside on my front porch.

Just a reflection from my tree in the living room.

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Along with making spaghetti sauce, I am finishing up a genealogy.  Kind of a big one, that will bring me no $$$.

I met this young girl when was just barely 11 years old.  Her mother and father were not married--I was dating the father who had grown children and grandchildren.  This girl was the same age as his grandchildren.

He was kind of a rat--buying all the young ladies drinks.  Her mother would sleep with anyone who bought her a drink--so..............................

The mother was "supposedly" unable to get pregnant.  Well apparently not.  I always wondered if the little girl was really his.  I think he was so flattered to think that he at 51, could get a woman of 37 pregnant, that he never questioned it.  He supported the mother and her--although the parents hated each other.  She spent every other weekend with her Dad, who did absolutely nothing with her--so that's where I came in.

I would sometimes bring her to my house for the weekend, take her shopping, take her out to the farm, take her over to Jennifer's mansion so she could play with the baby, take her to our family gatherings.  She saw and learned a whole different way of life.  Nice table manners, respectful, lots of laughter.  She knew nothing of any of these things, at the time I first met her, she laid her head on her arm, on the table, and shoveled food into her mouth with her hands.  Everyone in my family was very nice to her and complimented her on how well she held and played with Andrew and Elise--Jennifer's kids at the time.

One of those weekends with me, she started her period.  So, I took her out to lunch and bought her a bouquet of flowers and made a big deal over the fact that she was now, "a woman".  No--I didn't explain the "facts of life" to her, I figured that was up to her Mom.

She is now 23, married and two little girls, 4 and 10 months..  When I mentioned on Face Book that I was doing genealogies, she said that she sure wished she could learn more about her father's ancestor's.  

I researched her father's side and then I wanted to do her mother's side too, but her mother didn't trust me with her parent's names. (?)  People don't understand that tracing a family tree is NOT going to show up family secrets or anything bad--unless of course, their ancestor's are well known criminals.  Finally, when explained to her mother, she gave me the names.

Well, my gosh!  I got back 720 years--19 generations on her father's side and 920 years--26 generations on her mother's side.  Ancestor's of hers fought in the American Revolution, and the Civil War and WWI and WWII, Korea and Viet Nam.  On her Mother's side, at one time her people owned an estate in England, that puts Downtown Abbey to shame.  She has a great family history.

It has turned into a large book and I think the information will make her feel good and might even help her mother's self esteem.

Of course, this search and book will bring in zero income to me, but instead of me mailing it, she is coming out to pick it up, along with her hubby and two little girls.  I haven't seen her in 13 years, so that will be my payment. :-)

No excuses--well maybe a couple?

Whip me with a wet noodle for not posting!!!  I have just been so busy and tired by the end of the day.

Saturday, Karen picked me up and we drove down to near Detroit (complete with all its people and traffic) to a party my Grand daughter Helene's MIL had for them.  It was a baby shower, house warming party AND the baby naming service.

Helene, Mike, Della, Karen and me stood up in front and they explained how Della got her full name.  Helene explained that Della was my mother's middle name and although she had never met my mother, she had been told what a wonderful woman she was, and also, she wanted Della's middle name to be after her and the great grandmother she was named for.

Then Karen explained that I had named her after my grandmother, Helene Mary, and used my grandmother's name for her middle name.  Karen went on to explain that her great grandmother had died on her 5th birthday, but she still remembered her, and how kind and loving she was and that when Karen was a teenager, she determined that her first girl child would be named Helene Mary, after her great grandmother.

I then explained that I was my grandmother's only grand child for many years and that she called me Precious until the day she died, and before Karen was born, I knew if she was a girl, her middle name would be to honor my grandmother, Helene.

Then the Rabbi blessed Della in Hebrew, and we all said a prayer in English and then all the women started singing and calling "Mazel Tov" while we clapped along.

65 women present!  Most of them Jewish.  All decked out in their furs and rings and face made up and hair poufed and perfect.  I felt like a yokel for sure.  All talking and laughing loudly, constantly, even while we ate--"Just being Jewish Mommas," Helene's husband said.  I actually had to get up and go outside and walk around the parking lot at one time, just to get away from the noise.  I am not used to such crowds and noise.

Gosh--we had a good time.  The MIL is a lovely lady--not with furs and rings and made-up and hair coiffed perfectly.  Her friends are warm and friendly and wanted to know all about me and my family.
Many said, "Ah--now we know where Helene gets her height."  They are all so short!

My little girl is a Grandma!  I can hardly believe it.

The other grandma, Reva

I got to know Mike's brother, Jonathon better-he is a hoot!!

We had a great chat. 

    Blessing--Reva, Rabbi Ruth, Helene & Della, Mike, Karen and me (looking kind of in rapture) 

I (for one) was relieved that Della is a girl or this would have been a Bris and I am sure I would have fainted when my great grandson had to be circumcised!!!

BTW--Della will also be baptized in the Catholic church.  I think I will sit by Reva and hold her hand--I am sure she has never been in a Catholic church, and me not very often.
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Sunday, was my 10th attendance at the Nutcracker Ballet.  This year Madeleine dance the part of the Ballerina Doll and the Shepherdess, herding the little kids dressed as sheep.  It was delightful and after 10 years, it seemed shorter to me this year.  My grandson Marcus, was one of the Arabian slaves that carried the Sedan Chair that the Arabian princess rode in, he also assisted in carrying her, high over his head, across the stage.  Their Dad, Mark was behind the scenes working the snow machine, and Karen worked the concession stand during the intermission.

I do not have one decent picture from the performance, which makes me very irritated!!  Just this one after wards of Maddie, me and Marcus--and it's not a very good pix.

The life size dolls that come alive.

Maddie in pink

 Maddie Shepherdess and Arabian slave, Marcus.

That is Maddie's real hair.  Look how long it is.

Going to the Nutcracker is always a treat for me.  No one, except the cast, is suppose to go backstage and the dressings rooms, but after the show, I always do.  After 10 years, I have watched these little girls grow up and when they spot me, skulking along the hallway, they scream, "Gramma Judy!  Gramma Judy's here!" and they come flying out of the different dressing rooms for a hug and their compliment.  Even the director knows me and when I say,  "I'm not suppose to be back here," she says, "Yes you are!  You're Gramma Judy!"

Age does bring its privileges!!!
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Monday--I got all my Christmas cards and letters completed.  I guess I have more than usual this year, because I had to buy an extra book of stamps.  My special daughter Chris, always sends me Christmas stamps--which I think is pretty darn caring of her!!!

Today--I started the "Boys Spaghetti Sauce" Project.  It take a day and a half to make about 5 quarts.  I need 20 quarts this year.  I haven't purchased any meat in almost a year.  The price of ground, lean Chuck is out of this world--and it isn't all that lean!!!!  Of course, I let is drain real well and also the Italian Sausages that I make the meat balls out of.  I want the sauce to be thick and no film of grease on top!!!

Mini-Me

I think these two baby girls look a lot alike.  Della is on the left and her Grandma, my Karen is on the right.

Same hair line, eyebrows, round dark eyes, nose and mouth.

What do you think?

Deck the halls with Holly Loki----

anyone remember Arthur Godfrey singing that?

The two new ornaments arrived today, so I starting adorning the Yule tree.

The white one says, Sweet Great Grand-Daughter on the front with her name on the back.

Then I hung the rest of that family group. 

Jennifer's family on the left side and my oldest unmarried kids in the center. 

Then filled in the rest with ornaments from my grandma's tree and mother's tree and ones I had on our family tree when the kids were little.

 

(the tree is not crooked, but I was)

My grand daughter's mother-in-law is having a shower for them this Saturday.  I decided to make my favorite baby afghan for Della.  Then I decided to make her a stuffed bunny, that I hope becomes her favorite.  I didn't know how to wrap them, so I will sneak them in and put on the gift table, with no name, and see how long it takes Helene to figure out who the giver is.  HAH 

Onward to Christmas.......'

Our Thanksgiving was calm and nice.  Any political talk was pleasant as all four of us voted for the same Party.  After lunch--Susan does not serve turkey, we had baked chicken, we all adjourned into the living room to watch the football game and conversation came to a halt.  Each of them pulled out their mobile devices and started playing games.  I sat there like a lump.  No conversation was possible.

Finally at 3:00 I used the excuse that I wanted to stop in and visit Pammie and got out of there.  I have my own biases about these damned mobile devices, smart phones and that sort of thing--very rude, in my opinion to get involved with them when it is a family gathering--especially a small family gathering and one of the four has no such device.

So I stopped in to see Pam and we had a great hour long conversation--talking-using real words.  Amazing that one can still do that.

I got home around 5:00--perfect.
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Friday morning Karen called and she and Maddie dropped in and brought me some left-over turkey.  YAY!!  I don't really like turkey (or chicken), but I do like a nice thick turkey sandwich, with a couple of bread and butter pickles tucked in between the bread, spread with a combo of Miracle Whip and Horseradish.

Then I started hauling out boxes from my bedroom closet to get ready to decorate for Christmas.  I did get the Nativities up and the angels and Santa's, then pooped out.

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Saturday I hauled the heavy Christmas tree box out of my closet and did 7 loads of laundry and watched college football games and cross stitched all afternoon.  Ohio State beat the University of Michigan, which tickled me pink.  Michigan State of course lost to Penn State.  I am really glad Michigan State's football season is over!
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Sunday, I did get the tree into an upright position and it seemed easier this year, then when I last did it 2 years ago.  

I also got the outside lights and my front window lighted thingies on timers and ready to go.

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Today, I worked much of the morning on Christmas cards.  I create and print special ones for each kid, grand kids and sister.  Then I create and print general ones for everyone else, and Christmas letters for those people I don't see during the year.  

This afternoon, I had to run down to the print shop to get another small genealogy book punched and coiled and then on up to Walmart to pick up a prescription and ON SALE Diet Pepsi.  

It was cold and rainy and windy and not a whole lot of fun going to and from the store, but I did manage to find two people to help and made three others smile.  When I got home, it was still nasty, so I just left everything in the car trunk and will haul it in tomorrow, when it is supposed to be dry and 53 degrees!!

I haven't decorated my tree as yet, because I am waiting for two "name" balls I ordered.  One for my new grandson, Mike and one for Baby Della.  I have glass balls with all the kids & grand kids names on them and I like to group the families together.
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After 6 attempts, I finally got a phone call through to the Michigan Medigap Insurance Subsidy people.  It took 90 minutes to finally get someone to answer.  I had sign-up for and sent in all my proofs and October 8th and was worried, as I have heard nothing.  Most of us here in Michigan have Blue Cross insurance and the rates went up about 3.5 times what we have been playing.  Mine went from $40.42 for the last 10 years, up to $146.00.  Hopefully the subsidy will help, but still my insurance will be higher next year.  ARGGH!!!

This baby girl is only one month old.  I think she looks a lot older.

...and so it begins.........

Toting out the Christmas storage boxes-----------

Kinda sad................

It will be kinda sad tomorrow--of course, no one will mention it because my family tends to ignore the Elephant in the Room, but.......

The reason my nephew is coming to the farm is because he now lives alone in his own apartment--for the first time in 18 years.

His oldest child, a son, is autistic.  A high level learning form of autism, call Asperger's.  My nephew's wife tends to coddle all 3 of the children.  There are no rules, just do your own thing.  If the girls don't brush their hair, they look disheveled all day long.  If they wear mis-matched clothes, that is their privilege--the girls are 11 and 9.  It's been this way since they were little.  The middle girl has long, curly red hair.  It is always in nests and knots.

We have always thought the wife a bit strange.  She rarely speaks, unless asked a direct question.  I'm not saying she is stupid because she isn't.  She works from home for our State government and is very intelligent, makes a lot of money, but............well for example--I had a wedding shower for her.  When she opened the gifts, she would open one end of the paper, look inside to see what the gift was and pass it on for the next gift.  No thank you to the gift giver, no comment.

I remember one day, Fred and I were visiting my Dad and nephew and his family were there.  Fred was outside walking the dog back in one of the fields.  Nephew's son wanted to go outside and play, but his mother said to him, "You can't.  You have allergies to dogs and cats and the dog is out there."

So the kid started whining and I said, "It will be all right.  Fred and the dog are way far away in the field.  They won't come near you. You want me to take you out and play?"  

His mom said, "Dog dander can carry on the wind.  He has to stay inside."

So the son cried while she held him on her lap and patted his back.

Wait.  What?  Fred and the dog were like 1/8 of a mile away!

It was revealed the next year that the boy had NO allergies to animals or anything for that matter.  The Mom used that excuse because the kids wanted a pet and she didn't.  So she played it up to the boy that he was ill when he really wasn't.
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So early this summer, the son, now 16 has decided he hates his Dad, so.........Dad had to move out.  This upset his two daughter's a lot.  He gets to take them every weekend, but he is not allowed into the house--which of course he is paying maintenance on--because it might upset the son.

We all chipped in to help my nephew set up his place.  I gave him my brand new vacuum cleaner that I had only used twice because it was too hard for me to push and pull.  Susan and Chuck got new furniture and gave him theirs--which was 5 years old.  My kids gave him extra dishes and towels and stuff like that and Jennifer, set up his legal "separate maintenance agreement", so he wouldn't have to pay an attorney.

He thought he was having his girls for Thanksgiving and wanted Susan and Chuck to come up to his apartment, but last Friday, his wife announced that she and the kids were going to her parents on Thanksgiving Day.  

This whole situation ticks me off!  Number One, since when does a kid dictate that his parent has to move out of the house?  Number Two, my nephew has always been loving and kind to his only son, it's not like he ridicules him or is strict with him.  Number Three, I'd just like to slap his wife up side her head!
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Last week, when I visited Susan, we talked and laughed about what would have happened if WE had told our Daddy he had to leave.  He was mean to us and we both wanted our Mother to leave him and take us to live in some nice little house in town.

"Can you even imagine?" I said.  "If we were able to get up off the floor after he beat us............."

"We'd have to go live in the barn the rest of our lives," Susan chimed in.

I had problems concentrating when I was a kid.  My Dad's way of solving that was to slap me on the left side of my head and say, "Wake up!"

My sister took piano lessons and was very good.  When Daddy walked in the house, all piano playing stopped.  "Can't stand that dang racket!" he'd say.

I had to practice my French Horn, sitting on a bale of straw out in the cold barn.  "Don't play that in the house.  Sounds like a dying moose!"
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So anyway, tomorrow we will eat and laugh and play a board game and have a great time, and I will hug my nephew very tightly, but I won't ask him how he is doing or anything like that.

We will push the Elephant over into the corner, throw a sheet over it and pretend everything is fine.  

That's the way we are.  No one is allowed to show any emotion other than happy smiles--sad isn't it?