Monday Thoughts

========================================================================

I don't know quite how to describe something I went through.  While I was in the hospital.  After they did the cardioversion on me--as I was waking up from the Propofol.

They gave me the injection and I felt the heaviness in my forehead and said, "Here I go," and went out.  What seemed like a few minutes later--I was waking up, I guess.

I heard the nurse say, "What's so happy?"  and I asked, "What?"

She said, "You just said OH, quite loudly and I looked and you were smiling.  What's up?"

I didn't tell her because it was so fresh and new I didn't know what to say.

Just a second before I heard her, I saw Jesus.  He was walking away and he turned and looked right at me and smiled the biggest grin ever.  I was so surprised I took in a sharp breath and said, "Oh!" and I tried to catch up with Him.  I felt such peace and I wanted to walk with him.  I was so happy to see Him.

He didn't look like any picture I have ever seen of Him, but I knew instantly who He was.    He looked something like this image I Googled and finally found, except other people were with him and he was grinning at me.

I don't know what to make of all of this.  No doubt a reaction from the drug.  When I go to bed at night, I can see this image so clear.  Was He looking back at me and walking away because I was once again well and not going with Him?  I have no idea.  All I know is that feeling of peace and happiness and His great big grin have stayed in my memory since.

I don't believe in visions and spirits visiting us and any of that, so I have to assume that this "visitation" was just a reaction to waking up from the Propofol, however, I have had that drug many times and never had an experience like this.

I wonder...was it real?  
=====================

I have been threatening to (since January) and today I did--mopped the kitchen and hall/utility room floor.  I love it all shiny in the sunlight.

Last year, when I walked, I'd walk down to Fred's Heart tree and back=400 steps.  This evening I decided I needed to start walking again, so off I went toward the Heart Tree.  I got there and just kept on walking--to the corner and back.  Equaled 800 steps.  I can walk better now than I have in years--although it has taken 3 years since my hip surgery to finally get back to being able to walk with no discomfort.  

Sometimes, when I go to Wal-Mart, I count my steps from the front of the store to where I begin filling my cart--usually the back of the store, and I noticed that I could walk 200 steps quite easily.  I thought it might be harder here, with no cart to hang on to, but--I feel real proud of myself and I think next walk, I can make it down to the lake and back.
=====================
Hardly any comments on my blog anymore.  I guess I write too much?  Or what I write is boring?

Perfect Weather--66 degrees

I am lusting after this Oriole feeder.  On Sale (?) for $44.00!  Can you even imagine paying that much for a bird feeder?  All my feeders are copper, so this one caught my eye.

I guess my home made one will have to do.  I put it up yesterday, with jelly and a half an orange on the bush next to it.

John stopped by yesterday at 1:00 and unloaded the 90# of bird seed out of my car trunk and into my metal garbage can/bird seed container.  I tried to help him carry the bags, but he insisted he do it all by himself and handed the dog's leash for me to hold while he worked.  He put 1/3 of the sunflower seeds in the can and then 1/3 of the regular seed and bent over and fixed it with his hands.  Then repeated until all the seed was in the can.  I thought I'd stir and mix it up with a shovel, but he has paws as large as shovels and did a great job.  I never even thought of doing it that way.  Hm-mm.  I wonder if he has done this before or if he is just a smart enough man to know how to do something properly?  I filled up my feeders, sprayed them a bit with the Hot Sauce to keep the squirrels away and we are good to go.

Merle came down today and took down the frame-work and the insulation on my back door.  I have so much light coming into that hallway now--I am a happy person!

I vacuumed, dusted, rearranged the tables in my living room, cleaned the windows inside and decided to put up the summer sheers today--while I watched the Master's Golf Tournament.

Out with the heavy drapes and valances and cafe curtain

 In with the sheers and no cafe curtain on the bottom.

Do you think the tasseled valance is a bit too much?  Looks like a French Whorehouse?

I have no cafe curtain on the bottom half of the window so at night, any and all could look in.  They can't see me however, as my recliner is tucked back in the corner.  I just like wide open windows to catch every ray of light and bring it into my environment.  It doesn't get dark enough to put on inside lights until quite late, so---most neighbor's would be inside and not looking. Yes--I have blinds on every window, but I rarely lower them.  LOL 

Speaking of the Master's Tournament--what a great winner.  21 years old and set all kinds of records.  I hope he keeps going great in his career  AND  he is a lot nicer than Tiger.  At least if he hits a bad tee shot, he doesn't swear for all to hear like Tiger used too!
=================
A new week.  I will be outside over-doing!!

Feeling Better

Jean--the Guatemala mission is not like Habitat for Humanity, but the woman they are building the home for does help where she can--like making Mexican meals for them.  A lot of laying cement blocks and construction like that, so mostly the guys do the heavy work.  It is just a one room, with one window structure--I think no bigger than a two car garage.  Karen and Mark had to buy all the supplies to build the structure = $2,000.00, plus pay for their plane tickets down there.  We all chipped in something to help buy the supplies.  Even I managed $50.00. :-)

They were not allowed to take anything too glamorous with them, as gifts for the family.  They are not allowed to say anything like, "I wish you could come visit us," or talk too much about how we live here.  They are there to help the people, not make them more aware of their poor standard of living.  Madeleine did call beforehand and ask Karen if she could bring a lined tablet and two pencils for a young girl she knows.  The girl uses paper bags or any paper she can find and sews them together to form a tablet.  She is a copious writer and writes down all the English words she hears and then the Spanish word next to them.  Karen said she thought she could afford a $1.00 tablet and a couple pencils.  Karen said when Maddie gave the girl the tablet, you would have thought they had given her the most wonderful gift she ever had--and it very well might have been.

This is a MISSION trip-to help others, but it gave them an opportunity to be with Maddie this time.  It really is no different than what they do around here with feeding the homeless, or cleaning up the old tires dumped in the vacant lots in Detroit and building community gardens in Detroit.  Pammie constantly crochets blankets and hats for the homeless in Detroit and I make baby afghans for a place up the road that gives supplies to unwed mothers.  I used to sponsor a little girl on an Indian reservation in Oklahoma.  Jennifer buys dolls and makes doll clothes for the Old Newsboys distribution in Detroit.  My sister Susan knits lap prayer blankets for the elderly. My Mother used to sew dresses and clothes for the poor kids at our school back in the '50's and '60's, so I guess it is a family thing.   A kind of WWJD sort of thing?

Karen posted this on Face Book this morning.

"Guatemala house is complete & dedicated to Blanca & her son. The goodbyes were difficult & tear filled! Madeleine stays for another 3 months to continue God's work. Thank you to all who supported us with donations of prayers & money. May God bless you! "

========================
A kind of normal calendar month:

My calendar for this month:

I visited the Chiropractor this afternoon--he used the "rachet" thingie, also got a good session with the "thumper", and the "muscle stimulator" (TENS pads) and a nice rotation of my neck.  I feel great.  My shoulder bone doesn't hurt tonight and I can turn my head in all directions without any pain and no crunching!

Dar came over for an hour and we actually had a nice conversation!!!  She told me about her visit to the doctor on Monday and asked about my visit to him on Tuesday.  It was really quite normal.  Hm-mm.

This weekend weather prediction is sunny and in the sixties.  You know I will be outside--raking up a few leaves, filling up my bird seed can and feeders and getting my Baltimore Oriole feeder in place.

This house is a complete mess also and I wanted to start on my spring cleaning and rearranging.  Gotta get my heavy winter drapes off my windows and my summer sheers up!!

Guatemala Trip Winding Down

Susanna and Madeleine

                Maddie, Susanna and Dad

The one-room homes in Guatemala usually don't have cooking stoves.  The women cook over a fire-pit in the middle of the floor and all the smoke stays inside the home.  Not good.  

The kids built a ventilated stove for this single mother and her son.

No doubt, she will be the envy of the entire town. 

I like to think that maybe my
contribution to their project
paid for this stove. :-)
Karen and Mark have sponsored a boy (Francisco, standing by Karen) for the last 10 years.  When they got to Guatemala, they realized he lived only a couple hours away from where they were working.  Yesterday, they drove over to meet him and his family and bought them all a Coke.  The family does not speak any Spanish dialect that the interpreter understood, but after a soda and a game of throwing a Frisbee around, they seemed to have a good time.  Love has no language barriers!

Just a personal note here--in my opinion, I think it would have been wise for Karen to present the Momma with a life-time supply of birth control pills!!!!!  Nine people in a one room dwelling?

Aren't they adorable? 
My little brown-eyed girl having fun with the other little brown-eyed kids.
I think they like her!






Mark playing some sort of Frisbee baseball with the kids

==========================
Doctor's appointment with my primary guy this morning.  He walks in the room, "Hi Babe!"  (??)

"Hi Doc."

"I was just thinking about you this morning.  You were my first patient when I started this practice."

"Yeah.  How long now.  Seven years?"

"I think eight or nine."

"Time goes fast doesn't it?"

and then I once again complained about my low pulse rate--I have been complaining about it for over a year and he said to lower my one BP med and come back next Tuesday.  Then I happened to mention that I worried about my Potassium being low and so he decided I needed a blood draw.

When will I learn to just shut up?

So, Nurse Jane Fuzzy Wuzzy comes in and tried to find a spot on my inner arm that didn't have a hole in it from the IV's, and then my blood didn't want to flow out very fast, so it took forever!  Come to find out, she graduated with and knows my grandson Stephen.  She is sweet and I think he needs to get to know her better.  :-)

Then, on to the dermatologist this afternoon--no big deal, right?  AHA, he finds some sort of spot on the back of my right calf and I have another needle stuck in me to numb the area and it hurt like heck.  He had to take a small slice to send off for a biopsy!!  Never had a thing like that ever before.  To make the visit there worthwhile, he DID freeze a couple of age spots on my face so I will look better.  BUT, I have to go back in a month!

GEEZ LOUISE!  I wanted to get all these doctor appointments taken care of the first part of this year and now...I have to go back for repeat visits.  

I'm almost afraid to go to the ophthalmologist, he will probably tell me I gotta have cataract surgery!!!

Tomorrow the Chiropractor--hope he doesn't have some sort of needle injection in mind!!
==================

Saw this:

Sprayed with this:

He came back--took one taste, jumped off the feeder and hasn't been back.  AHA!!

Gray--Sprinkley Day--Again!

I woke up at 8:15 feeling wonderful!!!  Not one tiny little palpitation in my throat all day.  I wasn't a bit tired-

Until...........

A two hour shopping trip to the Wal-Mart.  By the time my cart was full and heavy and I was moving toward the check-out lane, I remembered I had forgotten the CLR to clean my humidifier and shower head.  The CLR is located in the back of the store.

I felt like I was scuffing my feet along and my knees and legs were so shaky!!  Then, I had to load up the car, drive home and unload the car---8 trips to the car, up the porch steps, inside, back out and...repeat.  Lordy!!!  I collapsed into my recliner and so wanted to just kick back and catch a nap,  but...................had to get the stuff all put away.

I did stop and get 90# of bird seed--which still resides in the trunk of my car.

Then, I had to get all the trash together, get it into the garbage pail and out to the curb.  I pulled the garbage pail up close to the door and came back in to empty the den, bathroom, living room and kitchen waste baskets.  I toted it all out to the porch and...............the garbage can was sitting down by the street.  Apparently Merle came and took it out.  Thanks for nothing!!!!

Out to get the can and haul it back up on the porch, fill it up and haul it back out again.  GEEZ!!


10:00 and I am going to bed!  Tomorrow is another busy day. 

Tired.

Gray--sprinkley--bah humbug sort of day!

============================

In January, I determined that I would call and make all the appointments I needed and get everything taken care of before Spring.

AHA--March 21st was a few weeks ago and the only things I got done were my yearly check-up and my new crown.

Then the whole thing last week.  So this morning, with great determination and fore thought, I got the phone numbers and the phone and...I go to my primary guy Thursday morning at 11:30 and the dermatologist at 2:40.  On Friday, I go to the Chiropractor.  I get to the Ophthalmologist in two weeks and the dentist  for cleaning, on April 30th.

So May 1st may  will find me all caught up with my medical needs and ready to get outside and start working in the yard.

====================

I had a hard time getting to sleep last night and finally at 1:00, I remembered, I had forgotten to take my 5 mg of Melatonin.  While in hospital, they encouraged me to take it every night.  "So many people have trouble sleeping," the nurse said, "and it's so simple.  Melatonin is a natural hormone we tend to lose as we age.  It regulates our Circadian clock.  If they would just take it every night, no one would need any prescription sleep aids with all the side effects."  I was actually surprised they were so "into it", as most medical people pooh-pooh the whole vitamin/supplement thing.

So--I got up, popped that little pill and was soon asleep.  The fur kids were a bit disturbed by my getting out of bed, but they were soon nestled back up against my back and sleeping too.

======================

I got up around 9:00, fed the kids and came in here.  As I looked up and out the window, I saw this guy (or girl, how can you tell?) looking right in the window at me.  It reminded me of a childhood nursery rhyme.

 
" A birdie with a yellow bill
Hopped upon my window sill,
Cocked his shining eye and said,
"Ain't you 'shamed, you sleepyhead?"

==================================

 I felt so "draggy" this morning--kind of dizzy and foggy headed.

"They" told me I didn't have to take my Potassium capsules anymore because they took me off the water pill and one other HBP med (Amlodipine) I was on.  My heart rate is low again--in the mid-40's.  I take two HBP meds in the morning and one at supper.  I decided, you know how I like to diagnose myself, that I would take the new HBP med in the morning, the other one at noon and then at supper.  My reasoning, it will keep the meds more continuous and even.

Then I decided that just because "they" took me off the water pill, perhaps I should still take some Potassium daily--seeings as how I have tended to have low Potassium for the last 15 years!!  I hate bananas and you know I don't eat right, so.....I Googled how many MEQ's are in one banana.

AHA--10 MEQ's in one banana.  My Potassium capsules are exactly 10 MEQ's per.  So...I took one and a couple hours later, started to feel much less foggy headed.  To me, there is no difference between eating one banana a day or taking the equivalent.

<that's my story and I'm sticking to it>

You know--I will either cure or kill myself one of these days.  HAH

==================

I trucked on up to the Food Bank--I didn't go at all in March because...my appointment would have been for the end of month and they run out of stuff by then.  They had a good quantity of meat and fresh veggies today.  I am allotted 60#, and usually can only manage 25#, but today did a bit better at 35#.  They used to insist that I wasn't getting all that I should and I kept insisting that I was taking only what I needed and would use.  So...now they leave me alone.  

I know people (Dar) who would go in there and "stock-up" on canned goods--cases and cases at a time.  I don't need to do that (and neither did she).  I go every month and get what I need.  Why stock-up and take it away from other needy families when you can go every month?  But then, you know Dar.  When she worked at the Salvation Army--anything that came in the back door and looked good to her, went out into the trunk of her car and NEVER reached the selling floor.  To me, that is not only theft, but it is completely immoral!!!

=============

Got home, unloaded and watched my Soap and then off to the beautifying place.  These are the before and after pictures.

I also got those big caterpillars that crawl across my face, above my eyes, plucked out and trimmed up.  Now--if I could just afford an eye-lid lift and a nose job, I'd be in business.

==============

My friend (neighbor from where I used to live) called this afternoon, just after I got in the house.  As we talked, I could hear my smoke alarm, just outside this computer room, beeping.

Now--why would it do that.  It is not battery operated, instead hooked up to the electrical system so it never runs out of power.

I walked out and stood under it and distinctly heard it beep a weak little beep.  So I ripped that sucker off the wall and took it into the kitchen to wash it off.

Then, I heard the one over by the back door beep.  

What the What?

I had to go potty, so I went into the bathroom and heard it beep again--only quite loud this time.  I walked into the bedroom and---lo and behold--not the smoke alarms at all, but the dang, old carbon monoxide alarm, that sits near my heat register, going off.  It DOES run on batteries and apparently they were tired!!!

How strange, to be standing in the doorway of my computer and living room, 30 feet away from the carbon monoxide alarm in my bedroom and hear it so clear and think it was the smoke alarm above my head.  Just the way sounds echo down the hallway of this place.

=========

I haven't purchased any groceries in a month so tomorrow is the day! A long trip spent walking the aisles of the Wal-Mart.  I have been out of stuff for weeks, but either didn't have time to get up to the store, or no money until my SS came in on the 3rd.  

I also need to stop at the Tractor Supply place and have someone load 2-40# bags of birdseed for me.  I am not going to ask Merle to unload it for me this time.

Remember John, the nice man around the corner who cleared the snow off my drive all winter?  Well, he walks  his old dog Maisey by here everyday and sometimes comes up to my porch.  Maisey likes me and won't go home unless he lets her come for a visit.  He was by the other day and told me if I ever needed help or had an emergency, to call him.

I told him that I don't like to ask for help and he said, "What is it with women?  Nowadays, women are so independent.  I have dated two ladies and they just never wanted me to do a thing for them."

"Because, John, we have tried really hard to become this way.  We don't have husbands anymore and have had to learn how to take care of ourselves.  We don't want to become a burden on anyone...AND we don't want to ask any man for help and then have them take advantage of us or feel we owe them something."

He laughed.  "Well, I wouldn't feel that way.  So call me...if you need too."

I should have gotten his phone number!!  Well, when I get the heavy bags of seed home, I will wait until I see him walk by and run out and ask for help.

BUT...HE BETTER NOT GET ANY IDEAS!!!

Feeling Contrary

I have stuff I want to do.  It does not include, follow-up visits to the cardiologist and primary care doctors.  I am alive.  My heart rate is nice and steady.  I feel fine.  I do not need my time taken up with people that will tell me that I am fine!!
=================
Dar came over earlier today.  The first words out of her mouth when she walked in---

"Did you see?  I got rid of all that furniture.  They came and took it all.  He is going to paint my bedroom in payment for the furniture."

"Yeah--I saw them."

"I have so much to do in that house.  I just don't know I'm going to get it all done.  I don't like to paint so I am glad he is going to do it.  Plus...I need to have someone come in and clean all the carpeting.  I need to have someone come in and clean all the windows and I need to get new curtains."

"You have a lot to do."

"Yes--oh...how are you feeling?"

"Great."

"You and I have the same thing...AFib.  Did they have to stop your heart?"

"No.  They did a cardioversion to get it back into normal rhythm."

"Yeah--I know.  They stop your heart to do that."

"What?  They do not!  They put a tiny little electrode patch over the upper part of the heart and send a tiny little shock into it and that gets is back into normal rhythm."

"Oh.  Well...they stopped my heart."

"Well, I guess we don't have the same kind of AFib then, do we."

"Well--you know me.  I am a rare case with every medical situation.  So mine is probably worse than yours."

"Probably."

"Are you on Coumadin?"

"Nope."

"Well, I have to take a blood thinner, so...I guess that means mine is worse."

"Oh...I take a blood thinner.  One of the new ones, call Xarelto."

"What?  They wanted me to go on that, but how can you afford that.  It's like several hundred dollars a month!"

"Yes...I know, four hundred a month.  The new Medicare Advantage insurance I signed up for in December covers it.  I pay six dollars and fifty cents a month for Xarelto."

"Well, I've got the best Blue Care insurance there is.  Why doesn't my insurance pay for it?"

"I don't know.  What is your premium cost per month?"

"Two hundred and fifty dollars.  What do you pay?"

"Nineteen dollars and ninety cents."

"What?"

"Yes and it covers my dental, glasses and hearing aids, plus all medical, hospitalization and prescriptions AND, I have a membership to a gym if I want."

"Oh...well there must be hidden costs somewhere in there that you just aren't aware of."

"I don't think so.  A lady from the insurance company called me to see how I was doing, asked if I had any questions and told me everything was taken care of.  So.............."

"Hm-mm.  I'm going to have to check into that."

"Maybe because you are such a rare patient...have such a large medical file...maybe you can't get the kind of insurance I have."

That shut her up and she left in about five minutes!  I am feeling contrary today!!
====================
Look what I got Saturday, from Jennifer.  She had it delivered to me as they left for their vacation early Saturday morning.  She had tucked in No Bake cookies and home made Chex Mix, which she knows I love.

Tulips she brought to the hospital for me

When she came to the hospital, she acted like we had just seen each other the day before.  We talked normally about stuff, about her upcoming move, about the kids and their vacation.  It's like the last two years never happened.  Maybe things are back to normal?  I hope so.
==========================
Karen and Mark, older grand daughter Susanna and her hubs Derek are in Guatemala with Madeleine.  They already started building the house for a family there.  Plus Karen found out that a child they have sponsored through Christian Child Fund, for the last 10 years, lives only twenty miles away, so they are going to get to meet him and his family in person.

I gave Karen 50 bucks for their mission.  She didn't want to take it--I insisted.  Now I can, vicariously,  feel that I am helping too.  Of course, as I've written about before, this is no big deal for this family.  They are continuously either serving food at the homeless shelters in the area, cleaning up junk out of vacant lots in Detroit and building community gardens, or flitting down to Guatemala to build a house and a medical clinic.  They are an amazing family!!

I love how Susanna is holding that cement block like it weighs a mere 2#.  HAH!  They have their "we are tough" faces on.
=================
I got to Michigan Heart for my 4:00 appointment.  I was to see the cardiologist that was attending in the hospital.  I wanted to see my regular cardiologist (the one who saved Fred's life after his massive heart attack) but he was booked.  So--I asked if I could make an appointment with him in late June.

"You will follow-up with Dr. Bernstein today and if he wants to see you again...we can make another appointment with him."

"That's fine, but I still would like to make an appointment with Dr. Leonen...in late June."

"For what reason?"

"Because I want to talk to him."
<contrary bitch I am, but pleasant and with a smile>

"All right...hmm..how about June twenty-fifth at two-thirty?"

"That is perfect.  Thank you so much."

I go back to an exam room and answer questions from the nurse and get an EKG.  After a few minutes, Dr. Bernstein walks in.  This guy is about 5'6", if that and has the personality of a gnat.  I had noticed that while I was in hospital.

"You're EKG shows you are still in sinus rhythm.  You did very well with the cardioversion.  We don't expect any more problems, but if it happens again...we can put you on a prescription to keep your heart rate stable.  Do you have any questions?"

"Yes.  I can't use Advil or Aleve for my arthritis because I am on a blood thinner.  What would you suggest I use for occasional pain?"

"Tylenol."

"It doesn't work very well."

"Yes.  I know."

So he listens to my heart and lungs and carotid arteries and ankles and says, "Come back in three months."

"When I come back, may I see Dr. Leonen?  He's kind of my "go too guy."

"Certainly.  Make an appointment with him for around...oh...end of June."

"Thank you.  I will."
<hah!>

So after he left, I asked the nurse.

"I forgot to ask Doctor.  Do I have any restrictions on what I can do?"

"You can do anything you want," she said, "except play tackle football.  Being on a blood thinner, you don't want to take any hard hits or falls."  and she grinned.

So--onward and upward--ever forward!!