OUCH!

I rarely take medicine for my arthritis.  Usually, any pain I have is sharp and fleeting.  It does not stay around and ache--until this dang shoulder issue.  It just sits there, down in that joint, and aches and aches and only hurts sharp, when I raise that arm.  Even the muscle in my upper arm hurts--if I squeeze it...so I don't.

My TENS unit worked great last night--I slept well and woke up with no pain, but, a few hours into the day, and it is aching again.  I finally rummaged around in the medicine cabinet until I found a bottle of 500 mg Naproxen tables the doc gave me a few years ago.

I am a pill hoarder.  I have Tylenol 3 (with Codeine) in case of a toothache.  I have Percocet left from my hip surgery two years ago.  I have the Naproxen the doc gave me BEFORE the hip surgery.  I also have Amoxycillin--it is not old, that I have to take before dental visits.  In fact, I get my antibiotic from the orthopedic surgeon instead of the dentist, because the ortho guy gives me 28 and the dentist only gives me 4 at a time.   That way, if I get a UTI, I have antibiotic on hand.

I know, you are going to tell me they are too old to take and will not work, or work too much.  So far, so good.  They are all "hard milled" and I don't think lose their effectiveness like capsules would.

So I took a Naproxen this morning and about to take another one for tonight. so I can sleep.  I usually sleep on the side of the ouchie shoulder, so that isn't helping one bit!!!
===================
Look what Maggie the Cat did to me in the middle of the night.

She sleeps down by my ankles and apparently I moved my feet in the middle of the night and she tried to pull my foot back, or thought we were playing a game of Tug-Of-War?  I felt the pain at 3:00, yelled "NO" and kicked her off the foot of the bed.  Do you know how bad a cat scratch stings and burns and hurts?  I got up, slathered some Neosporin on it and went back to sleep.  Dang Cat!!!  Buddy would NEVER do that to his Mommy--although he did nip me the other day because I quit stroking his head! 

I tried to clip her nails tonight.  She was sitting on my lap and I was petting her and she closed her eyes.  I reached for her front paw and stroked it and she didn't bite me.  Then I reached for the clippers and gradually reached for the paw again, she opened one eye and flew off my lap.
======================
Those of you who commented on Brooklyn The Brat--I didn't feel it was my place to say anything.  Not my family--not my brat!  HAH!

It occurred to me this morning that Darlene seems to be coming over here everyday now.  She has not mentioned Judy L. or Sheila in quite some time.  I am wondering if they have dropped her.  When I got up this morning, I peeked out and saw that her car was gone.  Hurray!!  She had to work.  Of course, then I figured she'd be over tonight when she got home, but...she did not.  Hurray, again.  

As to Jean's response about the sign for my front door.  I did have a couple of signs made up, after Fred died and she seemed to think it was her duty to come everyday to check on me...when I wanted to see no one--especially her.  

I had a "In the Shower" sign.  A "Taking a nap" sign and A "I'm at Pearl's" sign.

A lot of times, I'd put up the "In the Shower" sign, when I wasn't or the "Taking a nap" sign--I never take naps.  I just could not stand her mood swings at that time...and at that time, she was in a continual mental state because of her daughter.

She is not nearly as bad now, but when she does come over, it is NOT to check on me or see how my day is going.  It is always all about her--always!!  At least Pearl and I sit and chat about both our lives, our the world or old times--we have a shared communication.  That has never, ever happened with Dar.  If I do make a mistake and go to say something pertaining to my life, she looks at her watch, checks her cell phone.  She can hardly wait until I shut-up so she can get back to telling me all about her.

There is no way I can change that woman  I guess I will have to look to her visits as fodder for my blog, LOL

I am kind of nervous about the predicted storm tomorrow.  We don't have the high heat and humidity we normally have with severe thunderstorms, but they are saying we are going to have strong winds.  They are coming down from a high elevation.  If we all live through that, the highs are going to be in the low to mid '60's the rest of the week and weekend and the lows in the '40's.  That means our first frost is not all that far away.  

Fall is here and it feels weird to me.  I feel like I have had a really long spring and I am still waiting for summer!

Monday, Monday

A nice cool day--really cool nights now--bad weather coming in Wednesday--high winds--again!  Tor Con of 3 for southern Michigan, 4 for northern Indiana and Illinois and Ohio.

I woke up Sunday morning with a terrific pain in my shoulder joint and down into my bicep.  By afternoon, I was ready to cry and took a couple of Advil and rubbed some horse liniment on it.

Around 5:00, Pearl's daughter stopped by and invited me to go up to the newer part of the Park to have supper with them...so I did!  Pearl's daughter, Margie, lives in a nice big double-wide in the newer part of the park--south of us.  Her daughter Jennifer and grand daughter Brooklyn also live there.

I have never quite seen such a bratty girl as Brooklyn--8 years old.  She is completely spoiled and never disciplined.  Margie and Jennifer are so sweet, and the child really doesn't sass them, but she says nasty things to them.  When Pearl said "Hi" to her, she looked at Pearl and stuck out her tongue, and walked into her play room.  I never did see her say a word to Pearl, her great grandma.

Then she said to Margie, her grandma, "You have so many wrinkles.  You look older than anyone I've ever seen."  Marge is 53 and quite pretty.  Then the kid says, "Look at your teeth.  They are all crooked and dirty looking.  You need to get dentures!"

At another time she said to Jennifer, her mother, "Where were you all morning?  Did you go to churchy-churchy?  You're so bad, you need to go everyday!"

Right about then or MUCH sooner, I would have taken the brat into her room and laid a couple of slaps on her behind.  No--I wouldn't have done that.  I would have slapped her bratty mouth the minute she stuck her tongue out at her great grandma.

All Jennifer and Marge ever say is, "Brooklyn, that's not very nice."

So far, she thinks I'm quite cool--we'll see how long that lasts.
==========================
This morning I looked out and there was the maintenance guy Aaron, at Tami's door leaving her a paper--I assume to clean up her junk pile.  The manager decided to let Aaron do it, as he is all over the park, mowing vacant lots and keeping track of homes, so he would have been the one to see the pile.  I didn't hear her scream as yet, but I am wondering.  Can't wait to see what she does.  Can't wait to see that junk pile gone.

Then at 1:00, I had just sat down to watch my Soap and you know who, came through the door.  Sighing and carrying on...I just kept looking at the TV.

"Oh.  Is your show on now?"

"Yep.  One to two--every day."

"Oh...that's right.  I was over Friday when you were watching it.  I'll be back."
<for some unknown reason, she now comes over every single day>

So, as soon as my Soap was over, I got my list, jumped in the car and headed to the grocery store.

I stopped at the Tractor Supply on the way home to get my two big bags of bird seed--hopefully to get me through the winter.  A nice young man loaded it for me, wheeled it out to my car and put it in the trunk.  Now--always before, Merle has helped me unload it and carry it on the porch and poured it into the metal can I store it in.  BUT--I wasn't about to ask--him with the bad back and all.  If he even mentioned that his back hurt later, Pearl would blame me.

So there I stood.  Open trunk and wondering how I was going to manage two, 35# bags of seed.

I took a couple of deep breaths and sang to myself, "If I have to, I can do anything.  I am strong.  I am invincible.  I am woman!"

Lifted it out, kind of dragged it over to the porch steps.  Lifted it up, one step at a time.  Got it on the porch over by the chairs.

Grabbed it by its "ears" and lifted it up onto the chair. 

Cut the top of the bag with my utility knife 

did the same with the second bag.

and dumped it in.  70# of seed!!!

Then I went back to the car and toted in my  10 bags of groceries because, I knew, if I sat down to rest, I might never get back up.

I no sooner got the last bags in the house and, you know who, drove in her drive and immediately walked over.

She was into her deep sighing of earlier in the day.  Then she proceeded to tell me--AGAIN--about her nephew's elaborate wedding coming up this Saturday.  AGAIN--telling me the family was renting the entire floor of the Renaissance Hotel in Novi.  AGAIN, that her dress was being altered, "just to show the tips of my shoes because it is such a formal wedding."

"Are you wearing the caftan dress that was your Mother's?"

"No.  I was going to, but my sister-in-law told me it was too exotic and I might be the center of attention and detract from the bride."
<take a look in the mirror.  You'd detract from the bride alright, not because of your beauty, but because you'd look ridiculous in that dress!>

"Ah.  Yes."

"The reception is going to have an open bar.  You know, where it is all paid for.  My Daddy is going to wear a tux.  This wedding is going to cost the bride's parents at least....oh, I'd say eighty thousand and my brother is playing at least thirty thousand of that."

"Are you being boastful again?" I said with a smile

"No.  I'm just telling you facts."
<like I could give a mouse's patootie>

"I'm just exhausted," she said.

"Oh why?"

"I have had to run all over today.  Getting my hair re-cut, after that hatchet job I got the other day.  Trying to find shoes.  I had to stop in at the tailor's to have another fitting to get the length right on my dress."

"I'm tired too.  I............."

"Did I tell you that my Dad offered to pay to get that dent out of my trunk because I didn't want to pay the deductible?"

"No.  Well, that's nice of him."

"Plus, I have to take my car in for detailing because my Daddy will be riding with me.  It needs vacuuming and cleaning inside."

"Why don't you vacuum it yourself?"

"Oh...I'm too tired.  Besides it is only going to cost ninety dollars--a steal."
<hm-mm, it cost me seventy to get mine done last spring>

...and then, more and more that I don't remember because...I kinda quit listening.  She finally left ninety minutes later.  I put away the groceries, had some macaroni and tuna salad and sat in my chair watching Jeopardy with the TENS device pads on my shoulder and arm.

I know that I am going to be hurting tomorrow from the lifting today.  I ache tonight, but not too bad, but I think I will take one of my super-nice Percocet pain pills I got after my hip surgery, so that I can at least sleep.

We'll see what tomorrow brings.

P.S.  Have you heard of that new respiratory virus that is happening to young kids and babies.  It starts out like a cold and goes into respiratory distress of respiratory arrest.  Tell your kids about it so they will know to watch the grandkids.  You gotta get them to ER--quickly.  

Freakish Friday

Today's high temperature was: 92

Heat Index: 100

Humidity: 78%

=============================

I was just out of the shower when I heard a knocking at my door:  Monkey #3. Dar

Did you come over to check on me?  NO, of course not.  She came busting in the door yakking a mile a minute about her nephew's wedding next Saturday.

"You know how wealthy my family is?  Well--this wedding is going to be way over the top!  It is an all day affair, starting at about ten in the morning and going on until ten the next morning.  We have an entire floor at the Renaissance Hotel in Novi--a whole floor!"

and...I don't remember much of the rest.  I even forgot that I was suppose to remind her that she told me to remind her not to boast.  LOL

==============================

I had to run into Brighton to get a colored ink-jet cartridge.  It was so hot, the car A/C couldn't keep it very cool.  At home the A/C was coming on every 20 minutes.  The hottest day we have had all summer--which is kind of unusual--we usually have a few 90 degree days.  I stopped at Subway on the way home, to get supper.  Thank you, Melissa.

I had the letter I had written about Tami's pile of junk and as I came back in the park, I saw Rob up by the office.  I pulled in the drive and motioned him over.  Explained to him what the envelope contained.

"I hate to complain, Rob, but this has been going on for almost five years and this last summer, that pile just gets bigger and taller each week."

"Don't worry.  I'll take care of it."

"You won't have to involve me, will you.  I'm kind of scared of her."

"You mean, Tami?"

"Ya."

"She is crazy, that's for sure.  Don't worry, I'll take care of this and...thanks for letting us know.  We address these kinds of issues because we want to keep our park neat looking.  We don't want it to become a "trailer park!"

"I agree."

When I got home, I backed the car in and walked across the street to get my mail.  Jackie was coming out of her house.  She had on a tank-top and no bra!  I was kind of shocked--that's not like Jackie.  Then I saw Pearl up at her mail box.  She had on a T-shirt, and no bra.  As I turned to walk back across the street, the new neighbor, Marilyn, came out.  She had on a T-top also and...no bra!  

What's up with all these old women and no bras?  Sure it's hot, but all of them have the A/C on in their homes.  I think they look down and don't realize what they look like when they are walking toward you and you are viewing their front.  I suppose it's all right here, in our little neighborhood, but Marilyn had just gotten back from picking her grandson up at school!  She was out in public!!  

I don't care what size an old woman's bra size is---at 70+, those puppies are no longer perky!  Heck--they aren't even slightly sagging.  Those puppies are long, wide, pendulous and their noses are pointing straight due south!!!

I came back in and had to wash out my eyes!!!

=======================

We had severe thunderstorm warnings come on around four.  I checked the radar map for my area on my computer.  It looked bad, but I noticed that it also looked like the storm was going to avoid me.  Sure enough, when it came it brought bad wind gusts, but no lightning, thunder or rain!  Part of the storm split and went south, the other part split and went off north of me.

A couple hours later, when the cold front came in, we did get a lot of heavy rain, but still no thunder or lightning.  I have heard that down near Detroit, they have 120,000 without power, trees down and flooding.

I got lucky again :-)

===========================

Tomorrow promises the humidity moving on outta here and windows and doors will be open in relief!  I got a football game tomorrow--not until evening.  MSU is playing the Oregon Ducks.  They are a great team, but after all we WON THE ROSE BOWL, so maybe we can take them this year.

I have to change my purse from white to black and put away my white pants and shorts.  Yes, I know!  That is an old custom that doesn't apply anymore, but...........it does to me.  No white pants, purse or shoes after Labor Day.  I couldn't wear them if I had too!  My Grandma and Mother would "Tsk" so loudly I would hear them clear from Heaven, LOL.

Have a great weekend.  I hope the weather is nice for all of you.  

TBT: Throw-Back Thursday

Today's high temperature was:  80 degrees

Cool, cloudy, breezy in a.m.

Hot and humid by 2:00 p.m.

===========================

My son Mark, at 14 months, watching as the tub filled up with his bath water.

He did love his bathies!

======================================================

In regards to "my Monkey's"--I can't write a book about them and not get sued AND, probably every one would think it was fiction!  LOL

================================

Well, I have a conundrum to figure out.  I have been looking at this for the last three years.  Every month, this pile of junk seems to grow.  I see it from every window on the east side: living room, kitchen, bathroom and bedroom.

The park rules clearly state that "there will be no outside storage.  Everything must be stored in your shed.  Patio furniture, when not in use, must be stored in your shed.  Wood must be stored, up off the ground, at the back of your home."

This is Tami's home.  This doesn't take into account all the other "stuff" she has on the small lawn space between us; planting real close to the lot line, not realizing that plants are going to grow larger.  

She keeps digging holes and sticking bushes in them, but...she never takes care of anything!  I am hoping, the Smoke Tree she just planted dies from neglect!!!

Any problem we have, here in the park, has to be addressed in written form, signed and turned into the office.  So...last night, after Dar left and I was in a "dammit" mood, I printed out those pictures at the top and typed, "I don't want to cause any trouble and I certainly don't want this person to know I am the one, but, I am so tired of looking at this growing pile of junk every day of my life."  Then I printed out the part of the rules that she is abusing, highlighted them, signed my name and put in an envelope with Rob's name (the manager) on the front.

I still haven't turned it in.  I know that he can probably address it quite easily, just by telling her that "they" noticed the stuff and she has to store it in her shed, (which is already full to bursting.), he wouldn't mention me or show her the photos.  I'm still scared she will find out it was me who turned her in and....to be quite honest, I am scared of her.

Pearl says, "What can she do to you...if she found out?"

I said, "You know her and how she gets.  Who knows what she might do.  Wait until the middle of the night and pour salt in my garden to kill the plants.  Let the air out of my tires.  Who knows."

It's easy for someone else to tell you what to do...when they aren't directly involved.  She has a lot of stuff on Pearl's side too, but Merle and Pearl have trees and bushes that camouflage it from them.

Pearl said, "Well, I talked to her about that mess this summer and told her she better clean it up before the park management sees it.  So, maybe she will think it is me...and I am NOT scared of her at all!"

==============

Meanwhile, my Zinnia's are enjoying themselves and giving my neighbor's a nice view--I think.

==================

I went out to get my mail and this was what I found.  

After I got through crying, I realized, it is things like this that keep me from wanting to just "off" myself!

===================

I walked up to Merle and Pearl's this evening.  Merle was sleeping so she and I went out on their screened in porch to talk.  She is still very concerned with him.

She was playing on the computer and Merle was out in back, caulking a window.  All of a sudden, Pearl got a message on her monitor.  She was disconnected from the Internet.    She looked up and saw that Merle was over by where the cable comes into the bedroom, so she went out and said, "Did you cut the Internet cable?'

"Nope." he said

So she came back in.  She said she saw him with a black cable in his hand.

He later came in and said, "Yes...I cut the cable, but it was an accident."

So, I'm wondering why in the world would he cut the cable in the first place, when all he was supposed to be doing was caulk the bedroom window.  Pearl is wondering why in the world he would lie to her.  Something is just not right with him.    Is he getting senile too?

Then she said something to me that really meant a lot.  She talks quite soft, or she asks me a question while her head is turned, or on the phone, she mumbles and I am constantly saying, "What?"

When I do that, she gets on my case. "I wish you'd get a hearing aid.  You are deaf, Girl!"

So tonight she said, "Do I speak too soft or mumble?  It seems that a lot of people are saying 'What?' to me when I'm talking to them."

"So--I'm not the only one?"

"No...and I want to apologize for telling you that you're deaf.  I think it's the way I speak."

Maybe she finally realizes?

Then she said, "Did you know my left leg is shorter than my right one?"

"No."

"You haven't noticed how I limp when I walk?"

"Yes.  Maybe you need to wear a lift insert in your left shoe."

"Oh...I have one."

"YOU HAVE ONE AND YOU DON'T USE IT??  My Gawd, Girl--that would help your back so much!"

"Do you think that would help?"

"Oh Pearl.  Don't you remember when I had to wear one in my left shoe....before I had my second hip surgery?"

"Yes.  Why did you wear it."

"Because, my left leg was shorter and I could hardly walk because my back hurt so much.  Put that lift in and see if it helps.  Please!"

"It might not fit in these shoes."

"So--wear a different pair and see if it helps.  Do it tomorrow--just wear it around the house and see.  Please?"

So--who knows--right?

================    

A Day At The Circus

Today's high temperature was: 77 degrees

Sunny.  Breezy.  Beautiful

==================================
Well Friends--I can go around all day muttering, "Not my circus.  Not my monkey's", but it appears that I am the RingMaster of this circus and I DO have to interact with the crazy monkey's

9:30 a.m. phone rings.   It was Monkey #1.  Pearl

"I saw you go with Dar last night.  What did ya do.  Go to a movie?"

"No.  She invited me to supper.  We went to Applebee's"

"I thought you couldn't afford to eat out!"

"She paid."

"Oh...so now I suppose she's your best friend?"

"No.  She's not my best friend.  I had helped her with something and she wanted to re-pay me I guess."

"Well!  Did you have a great time?"

"It was all right.  We just ate, talked a bit and came home."

"Oh.  I was wondering if you'd like a bouquet of blossoms off my Snow Ball bush."

"Sure.  I'd love some."

 Yes...I know.  It is not a Snow Ball bush, it is a Hydrangea, but we aren't going to argue about it.

A nice bouquet and I was informed that I was not to throw them away, but wait for them to dry and change colors.  Which I do every year, when she gives them to me...apparently she has forgotten. 

 Such pressure I am under.  I know she will look every time she comes down here, LOL.

=======================
Monkey #2, Tami--arrived on my porch around 2:00.

She had seen Monkey #3 (Dar) in the store the other day and when Dar greeted her, Tami said, "My name is Tah Mar Ah.  That's what's on my birth certificate.  I wish people would call me by my right name!"

We were all introduced to her as Tami.  So, that is what we call her.  Now that she's a Vampire, I guess she wants to be called Tamara?

When I saw her, I went to the door and said, "Hi TAMI.  What's up?"

"Did you see the tree cutting guys this morning?"

"Yes."

"Where did they cut trees?"

"I know they trimmed some branches off Mike's Maple tree.  I don't know where else they went."

"Mike?  Who the hell is Mike?"

"Our neighbor on the other side of me.  On the corner."

"Oh.  Well why in the hell didn't they take down that pine tree I want cut?"

"I don't know, TAMI.  Are you on the list up at the office?"

"Yeah.  I been on the damn list since last summer."

"I don't know.  I guess you will have to call the office."

"Oh yeah!  I have never been late with my rent...well a couple of times, but....maybe that's why they aren't taking that tree down.  It's putting moss on my roof.  I need it out of there.  The squirrels get up there and throw the pine cones down on the roof and the ground.  I gotta pick all them bas***** up and the noise. I'm as good as anyone in this d*** park!   Yeah, I'm gonna call the office and I am going to ream them a new a**hole.  You just watch.  Those guys will be out here before the end of next week.  I'll lay money on it!"

and off she stomped.  Tami doesn't ever "walk"--she stomps...everywhere.
=========================

Monkey #3 (Dar) didn't show up until 7:30.

"Connie is telling everyone that SHE bought the house!   She claims she paid fifty thousand for it!"

"The house?  Oh...you mean...your place?  And...who is everyone?"

"My sister-in-law, Mary! "

"And...why do you care?"

"She sent me twenty thousand to buy that place.  I got a great deal.  Now....."

"Is she listed as the owner?"

"Both our names are on the title.  She won't sign off, so it can be in my name alone!  She wants ME to buy her out!"

"But...she is the one who bought it?  Did you contribute money too?"

"I put in a thousand!  I bought it so she and her kids could get away from her husband and we all could live together.  Her and the four kids!"

"Well...that was your first mistake.  You know mother's and daughter's can't live together."

"Yeah and now Jeffery is texting my brothers and crying to them that I won't see him or talk to him while he's drinking and using drugs."

"Okay."

"I just don't know what to do.  If you see him over there...call the police."

"I thought he didn't have a car."

"He doesn't....but you just never know.  He might hitch-hike out here."

"I don't think that's very likely, but.............."

"And now Lisa has unfriended me on Face Book."

"Lisa?"

"Yes--my oldest daughter.  The queer one...ah...Lesbian....that lives in North Carolina.  Connie is filling her head with lies and nonsense and Lisa told my sister-in-law that she is now remembering instances of when she was little and I was abusive to her."

 "Hm-mm."

"Now, Michael won't accept any of my calls or texts.  Neither will Cindy."

"I don't know who Cindy is."

"Michael's wife.  She has cancer.  Remember?  I drove clear up to their place last summer with clothes for the kids and furniture and stuff I got from the Salvation Army...when I worked there."

"Yes...I remember.  Why is Michael mad at you?"

"He didn't like it when I told him they weren't bringing up their kids right!  Do you know....Cindy had their last baby out under the Maple tree in their back yard!  They are Vegans now.  She home schools them.  Michael said I was interfering and to not contact them again!"

"So...why are you contacting them again?"

"I'm done!  I wrote a seven page letter and made copies to send to all of them....except I don't know Connie's address, but I think Mary has it and the next time I am there---I am going to sneak around and find it!"

"I thought you did that last year."

"No...that was at Pat and Terry's house.  I went to the bathroom, but I used the one in their master bedroom and I looked through drawers until I found Jeffery's address."

"Oh.  Well...I don't think your letter to them is going to help.  They will only think that you are justifying things and probably....it's not at all the way they remember their life with you."

"Oh no.  I explained it all.  I told them why I neglected them when we lived with Cleveland."

"Cleveland.  I didn't know you ever lived in Cleveland."

"NO!  The guy I lived with for twenty years!  The black guy that played with the Globetrotters.   The guy I escaped from when I moved to Michigan.."

"Oh."

"We had a huge mansion.  He didn't like having the kids around.  He stayed in the master suite all day long and he wanted me in there with him.  It was just like a living room, bedroom, kitchen all in one.  He didn't care if the kids were in every other room in the house...he just wouldn't allow them in our room."

"So...who took care of the kids?"

"Oh...we had a cook and a woman who took care of them."

"For twenty years...you all lived like this?"

"Yes.  It was terrible on the kids, but.......it's not my fault!"

"Well...Dar...calm down.  Let's talk about this.  It IS your fault that you kept them in that kind of situation for twenty years.  All the time they were growing up.  They only see that.  To them...they grew up without a mother.  You told me that you didn't speak to your mother for thirty years...until just before she died.  Why didn't you speak with her or have a relationship with her?"

"Because, she was never there for me.  I'd come home from school and she was in her room.  She never cooked for us...my Daddy did all that.  My Aunt had to take me shopping to get my first bra.  I grew up without a Mother."

"You didn't really...she was in the house.  You felt like you grew up without a mother...just like your kids feel about you."

<I think I saw a flash of light as the bulb went off and settled in her mind.>

"Oh Dear Lord!"

"You had a rough life.  I had a rough life.  We both figured it out and here we are...still standing.  Your kids are going to have to do the same.  They have to figure it out for themselves and nothing...you say or do, will fix it."

<she nods>

"Step back.  Don't write them explanations---it won't help and it might make things worse.  Mellow out!  Quit bugging them!   If they call or text you with nasty comments--don't respond.  You are playing their game.  All you can do is wait and see...just like you did with your Mother."

"and pray."

"Yes."

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Other than tending to the monkey's--it has been a really nice day :-)

  

We Never Know Who We Might Impact

A pretty nice day, after the humidity went away

I have thought about this all day.  I was amazed and dumbstruck by Vickie's comment yesterday.  This silly little blog and my inane words somehow helped her in a time of need.  How weird is that?  Or...was it a God Whisper that took my words to her?  I believe in that sort of thing.  Too many "happenings" would never have happened, if God had not had a hand in it.  Thank you for telling me that Vickie.  You have no idea what an impact your comment has had on my mind!

I need to be more careful what I write, I think.
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I have found something like that in my own reading of other's blogs.  A chance posting they made and I read it and think, "OHMYGOSH!  I feel the same way!"  Or they will post something that lifts my spirit and adds joy to this lonely life.  All the bad stuff on the Internet, but this...this is the good stuff and thank goodness for the Internet, or we would never have this close communication and connection.


I did something tonight that none of you would or could guess in a gazillion years!!!  I went out to supper with Dar!

She was here last night until nearly 10:00.  Her son had called and left a message yesterday, around noon, that he was done!  "This time, Mom, I am really done.  I just realized that the reason I have no friends and no one in the family wants to be with me is because, I am a flighty, nasty, stinking drunk.  I just threw out a bottle of just opened Gin and I.  Am. Done!"

She was elated, but by the time she had an opportunity to return his call...she could tell he was drinking again.

She came over here--all hyped up, not knowing what to do and while she was here, he kept texting her.  About, how no one in the family would answer his phone calls today.  How she didn't love him enough to call him back (she was at work).    She texted him back about how she did love him...all the family loved him.  They felt so bad for him...on and on.

Finally, I couldn't take it anymore and I said, "Quit answering his texts!  He is trying to make his drinking all your fault and...you are playing right into his hands and enabling him."

"But--doesn't he need to know that I love him?"

"You already told him that."

Then he texted back, "I've got my hand on the cap of a bottle of Gin.  You wouldn't call me back.  You don't love me, so I am going to drink!"

She looked at me, "What should I do?"

"Tell him, 'Go to your AA meeting...right now.'"

So she did and he quit texting her.

We talked for another hour.  I came in the computer room and we searched on the Internet to find an Al Anon meeting for her!

Then her phone beeped again and he was texting her, telling her how he just had sex with a girl...going into minute', filthy details.

"Turn your phone off!" I said.

"What if someone calls me?"

"It's nine-thirty at night.  It will go to voice mail and you can read it when you get home."

We talked for a bit more, about enabling, what it is, what she needs to do, on and on.
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This morning, she came over around 10:00 and invited me out to supper tonight.

"I owe you a lot.  You got me through last night and I feel much better this morning.  I want to take you out to supper."

So, we went out to Applebee's and shared a 2 for $20, which she paid for.  It wasn't too bad either.  We didn't talk about any of "our" problems.  She gave me a running commentary on when she lived in Greece and about her raise at work.  Then she said something really weird,

"I am such a boaster!  I'm not a good listener either.  I come over to visit you or I go visit Jackie or Shelia and all I do is boast about this and that--what I bought or what a wonderful person I am.  That's just wrong!!!  The Lord laid it on my heart this morning, that I need to learn to shut my mouth and listen, instead of always wanting to talk about myself!"

I had not one idea of what to reply!  So I said, "I've felt that way about myself a lot of times.  I'll be driving home from lunch with the gal pals and I will think, "Geez!  All I did was yak, yak, yak!"

"But you never boast about yourself."

"I was brought up that ya don't "toot your own horn.  If I ever said something real boastful about myself, someone in my family would turn and say, "So...whadda ya want.  A medal?"


It wasn't such a bad time.  She does tire me with her incessant, loud talk, but..........all in all, it was pretty good.

I do think she may have ulterior motives however.  As we were driving out, Judy L. was outside and Dar slowed down and waved--like she wanted Judy L. to see that she is not Dar's only friend?

I may have been used again.  Like I was in my dream about the President?

Weird Weekend

HOT AND HUMID AND HOTTER AND MORE HUMID!!

I don't understand Labor Day at all!  It's not like Memorial Day or July Fourth--it's......what is it?  

Okay--it's a Federal Holiday, so people in the government and banks and attorneys and people like that don't work.  I don't even think of them as laborers.  

Started in 1894--after murderous strikes and workers being killed and all.  Then our labor unions took it and ran with it.  A day off for the factory workers.  Except--every factory worker I ever knew worked on Labor Day to get time and a half pay!  And, you gotta work the day before and the day after to get that Holiday pay.

Farmers sure don't get the day off.  Employees at stores and restaurants, don't get the day off.  People in health care, don't get the day.  Who the heck gets the day off?  AHA--the salaried people.

The Big Wigs at GM, and Chrysler and Ford.  The Government workers.  The lawyers.  The Bankers.

No laborer gets the day off.  I guess it's too celebrate the end of summer?  Yet, summer doesn't end until September 21st.  Weirdest Holiday I ever heard of!

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You want to hear something else even weirder?  I had a dream that I was with President Obama!  A sex dream!  He never even took his clothes off and afterwards, he smiled, got up and walked out to give a press conference.  I watched him on TV, while I was getting myself put back together.

Now what does all that mean?

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I haven't spoken to another living soul in three days!!!  It was so quiet, when I woke up Sunday morning, not even any noise from the expressway a mile away.  No one mowing their lawn.  No yapping dogs.

I just lay in bed--trying to hear something--nothing.  Total quietness.  I pondered for a moment if the Rapture had occurred and I was Left Behind.  I HAD to get up and look outside to see if I could see anyone! 

Jackie was gone.  Dar was gone.  No cars at the new neighbors.  Even the Vampires had flown off somewhere.  Creepy. (around noon the Vampires returned with the female doing her normal screeching--all back to normal.)

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I did a lot of crying yesterday.  Not yowling, sobbing crying, just tears flowing at different times of the day.  I am so lonely for a hug.  Not just any hug.  I want a real man kind of hug.  One that is nice and strong and lasts for a few minutes.  

I still think there needs to be a business where you could "hire" people for things that you need.  A handy man to trim the hedges or drain the hot water heater.  A guy who would come out and watch the ballgame with me and whoop and holler when our team scored.  A nice lady who would come out and paint my toenails and fingernails for me, because I can't with my shaky hand.  A young kid you could call, who would come out and play a few games of Backgammon or play his guitar while you sang along.  A guy you could call when you need a big, strong hug.  

So many things we lonely widows need.  Women who are living alone because they are divorced, don't seem to need the emotional things that widows do.  I really miss the companionship of a man.  I don't want all the other stuff that goes along with it.  I don't want someone to sleep with.  I certainly don't want sex.  I don't want a man living here all the time.  I just want an "occasional" man--with his smile and his deep voice and his nice strong hug...and perhaps a kiss or two.  <sigh>

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I posted on Face Book that I could see the new neighbor's TV from my front windows and that didn't even watch the Tiger baseball game.

Now, people are accusing me of being a Peeping Tom.  This is not so!  When I look out my front window, this is what I see.

It's not my fault they don't close their shades!

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