We Can't Predict What Lies Ahead

but, meteorologists like to try.

and today's weather prediction is--a high of 65!

Last week, Merle, Pearl and their daughter Margie cleaned out the storage unit.  Margie took most of the stuff up to her unit and is going to sell it through the Face Book garage sales we have around here.  I told Margie, "You just wait.  The minute you sell your Mom's canning supplies, she is going to see a bushel of tomatoes at the Farmer's Market and want to can them."

I noticed Monday, on Face Book that Margie had the canning supplies listed for sale.  All for $25.00.  They sold within minutes.  

Pearl was here this morning.

"I did a lot of running around yesterday.  Turned in the lock and key to the storage unit place--now we don't have that fifty-five dollars a month.  I went and got my Mammogram.  Then I went grocery shopping with Merle.  I'm hurting so bad!"

"I saw on Face Book that Margie is selling some of the stuff."

"Did you see that?  She sold all my canning stuff....twenty-five dollars!  My canner, the tongs, the little magnet thing that picks up the lids out of the hot water....and....eight boxes of jars and lids...only twenty-five dollars!  If I had known that was all she was going to ask, I'd kept them myself!"

"Well, you don't really need all that stuff."

"I was telling Merle last night that I wish I had them back.  I want to go to the Farmer's Market Saturday.  I'd like to can a dozen quarts of tomatoes and some Bread and Butter pickles.  Now I can't--she sold everything!"

"Pearl...you can't stand on your feet long enough to do that.  Where would you store all those quart jars?"

"I used to can thirty quarts of tomatoes and dill pickles and meat sauce and......"

"Yes...so did I.  'Used to' is the operative word here.  We can't do it anymore and we don't need to do it anymore.  Take the twenty-five dollars and go buy cans of tomatoes and some Bread and Butter pickles."

She got up and walked back out on my porch and came back in carrying a box and presented it to me.

<no---please, I don't want this>

Remember when I told you a couple of years ago, she ordered this off the infomercial on TV.  She got one and another one free--of course the shipping and handling on the free one was as such as the cost of the paid one.

"I brought this for you.  I thought, being just one person, you could cook a lot of your meals in it and not have to heat up the stove.  It's brand new.  Never been used."

"Well--thanks."

"Look through those recipes.  You can make a lot of stuff.  Omelets, mini pizzas, little cinnamon rolls.  When  you make the Cinni-Minis, make some for me, okay?"

We chatted a bit and then she trotted home.

I do not want this thing!!!  I will never use it!!  I have no place to store it!  <well, I do, but I don't want it>

I opened up the box and pulled it out and there it was---no pans that fit inside, no special spatula.  No nothing--just the unit.

Now what?
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Jean left a comment yesterday about my sea shell lamp.  I thought I'd give you the story behind it.

On one of our golf junkets to Myrtle Beach, SC., when we all walked into the motel lobby, my sister-in-law turned and said, "Judy, look at the lamps over there by the couch.  You would love one of those."

I looked and moved in closer to inspect them and yes...I would love one of those.  Ginger Jar shape, clear and...filled with beautiful sea shells!!!!

As the week progressed, in between golfing, the ladies loved to go shopping at the different stores in the area.  I usually stayed back at the motel and spent that time walking the ocean's edge--looking for and collecting shells.  One day, they were going to some sort of outlet, so I went along.  A huge store--we walked and walked and walked.

I was in the area where the furniture was and lo and behold--you guessed it.  They had the very same sea shell lamps for sale.  

One hundred and seventy-five dollars and for another twenty-five, they would pack it and ship it to your home!

Now--this was in 1978.  Two hundred dollars just wasn't spent on a lamp.  Oh---he could spend a thousand dollars on a whole new set of golf clubs, a hundred dollars on shoes and all that, but.....I knew there was no way I could get him to spend two hundred dollars on a lamp.

That night, as we sat around a big round table for supper, one of the girls told my husband about the lamp.  How I was "lusting" over it and that he should buy it for me.

All the guys just laughed, as did he.  "You women, always finding someway to spend our money!" one guy said.

The next day, I went back to that outlet and did buy a smaller, bedside table sea shell lamp, it only cost twenty-five dollars.  I didn't have to pay to have it shipped home, I just packed it in the back of the Motor Home we all had ridden down in.

Fast forward to 1992.  I was divorced (twice) and living with my friend Ernie in Saginaw.  Ernie had noticed the smaller lamp, as I had it sitting on my bedside table and I told him the story of the other lamp.

One Monday night, near dark, I had just hauled the garbage and the recycle out to the curb, when Ernie came busting down the street.

"Quick.  Get in the truck."

I hopped it and he turned and went back up the street he had just come down, up to the corner, did a U-turn and stopped the truck.  The headlights shining on a pile set out for the garbage men and there was--THE LAMP!

Now, this was before the day when people drive by and if they see something of ours sitting out for garbage pick-up and they want it, they stop and pick it up.

Ernie said, "Do you want it?"

"I wonder if it's broken."

So, he stealthily got out of the truck, ran up, grabbed the lamp and brought it back and off we went, back home.

We took it in the house.  The shade was ripped and torn--discard that.  The glass was not cracked or broken.  It had a three-way socket, but the cord was cut in two pieces.

"No problem!"  which was one of Ernie's favorite phrases.

He re-wired the lamp, I got a new shade for it and polished it up and voila'.

============================

This late afternoon, I was outside, filling up the bird feeders when I glanced to my left and saw something.  A different plant growing next to one of my Hosta's.  Then, it dawned on me what it was.  Last Christmas I bought an Amaryllis, on sale.  The dang thing never even put up a leaf, let alone blossom.  In March, I dug a hole and stuck it in the garden.  Well--lookie here--it is sending up leaves.  Weird.

As I was coming back inside, I heard screaming and yelling from Tami's house.  My first thought was that Ron had another heart attack and dropped over dead.  I walked a bit faster, but when I got to the front steps, the screaming and yelling was now outside.  Tami wasn't screaming ABOUT Ron, Tami was screaming AT Ron.  I sort of slithered up the steps and into the house and peeked out my window.

She was standing on the front porch in some sort of huge rage--screaming, swearing--"I don't deserve this f****** s***. "

Then she picked up her big plastic garbage pail and hurled it up against the open front door.  Still screaming and yelling obscenities, she stormed off the porch, threw something in the back seat of her car, slammed the door, went around and got in, slammed that door and backed out of the drive.

Then, all of a sudden, she drove back in again, slam, slam the door, up on the porch, picked up the garbage pail and threw it out onto the lawn, still screaming and yelling obscenities at him.  Then back to the car.  Got in slam, slam again, backed out and peeled--I mean peeled rubber off her tires as she sped away.

I heard not one word from him--which is not unusual, he is very quiet, but Tami was, typical Tami.

I guess the self professed "star crossed soul mate vampires" aren't quite as happy as they put on?  Of course, it was daylight and that does disturb vampires, so............................. 

Pretty Cool Day

...and I mean that in a weather-wise sense.  A cold front came through last evening, after the rain and it is cool and I mean, COOL!  We are talking, October cool.  54 degrees outside when I woke up this morning.  65 in the house.  I did NOT turn on the furnace to take off the chill and I also did not open the front door and windows either.

Nothing much happening around here today.    Very quiet in fact.  No construction going on across the street, no one mowing their lawn.

Dar is at work.  I did see her for a few minutes yesterday morning before she went to work.  She came over....get this...she came over to show me her new underwear!  Her pants are still very tight, and she is still wearing bikini style underpants, BUT they are a larger size AND ..they are beige.  At least she took part of my advice.  I noticed, as she walked away, her behind did look a bit better, but.................as she walks, her rear view still looks like two Hippopotamus fighting inside a gunny sack!

I did the usual--cleaned up the bathroom and kitchen; watched my Soap and read a bit.

So nice and sunny today--a perfect day to work out in the gardens.  I visited my "cutting garden"--sounds all so fancy, doesn't it.  It is my 8 x 3 raised bed, filled with Zinnia's and one volunteer, grape tomato plant.  I now have bokays of Zinnia's in every room, which makes me smile.  They are just the simplest, most colorful flower to grow.

and I got three ripened grape tomatoes, to eat on the walk back to the house.

Then I decided to call Bethie.  I couldn't remember the days she works at the pet adoption place, but I knew, she didn't work on Wednesday's.  We had a wonderful chat.  She is doing really well.  Of course, as we who have had loved ones die, we know---you never forget--you just learn to live with the loss.  Right now, she is still in the "think about him everyday" stage.  The first thought in the morning--the realization, again, they are gone and that bit of an ache.  Then we gather ourselves and try and go on with our day.

I think it must be especially difficult when it is your child.  I know my sister tells me that "I don't think of Matthew every day like I used too, but I still think of him and wonder, what kind of man he would have turned out to be.  What his children would be like.  If they would live near.......thoughts like that come and go."

It's like with so many things in life.  You don't know the feeling, unless you've experienced that same feeling.  I have never experienced the death of a child, so I can't know exactly how it would feel--other than I know it would be the most awful feeling.  I can't even imagine it.

Grief is not the same--for each occasion--for each person.  A Widow feels grief differently than a parent would, than a child would at the death of their parent.

Would it be easier to remain unmarried and childless, to protect from ever having to go through that kind of grief?  I guess not.  My Mother used to say, "You can stay aloof and uncommitted and save yourself pain, or you can commit to life and all it brings and know deep love...and know, it is all worth it."

My Mother used to ask profound, philosophical questions of me.  Like, "If the Russians came and said they were going to shoot all Christians.  Would you step forward and be shoot, or would you step back and save your life...knowing that by denouncing your faith, you'd spend eternity in Hell."

Or--"If the Russians came and said you had to give up one of your children.  Which child would you choose?"

I don't know why it was always the Russians.  I guess because they were our biggest threat in the '50's and '60's.    I never did figure out the answers---I guess I thought it was a long-shot or I'd think of some other way to get away from the Russian's?

Nowadays--it would be Hamas or ISIS who would be asking me those questions.  I know what I'd do now, as I have no young children to have to choose from---only me---and I'd hope I would not deny my faith and step forward.   You think nothing like that would ever happen here---I think of those Christians in the East who are being asked that question now.  "Convert to Islam or you will be killed!"

No, it will never happen here.  At least not in my lifetime.
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Gosh--how did I get off on that tangent?

My Lucky Day

OH MICHIGAN, MY MICHIGAN

Pouring rain and thunder.

Bright sunshine

Pouring rain

Bright sunshine

Pouring rain and thunder

Cold front

59 degrees at 10:00 tonight

Probably snow tonight, LOL

========================

I got a notice from my electric company that if I enrolled in the Senior Citizen program, I might get my bill lowered.  I checked my bill--it said Senior Program on the top of the bill.  I called anyway and I was told, "Senior program and senior citizen program are two different things."  No doubt another way to confuse us old people?

So--he checked for me and under the program, my budget payment will drop $16.00!!!!!  $42.00 a month on my budget payment program!!!!!

<Thank you God, thank you God, is what I yelled toward the ceiling>

===========================

Then, I went shopping at Meijer.  For over a year, I have been looking for a new billfold--mine is 20 years old and falling apart!  My billfold is the kind you could just carry alone--money, checkbook, cards--all of it in one place.  Every time I see them, the nice ones are so expensive.  Real leather, long lasting, but over my budget.  

Today, for some unknown reason, instead of walking straight back to the store, I walked horizontally and then turned and went down an inside aisle.  There was a whole rack of billfolds, glasses cases, etc.  I stopped to take a look and spotted a black Buxton--just like I wanted.  Original price: $25.00, marked down to $12.50, marked down to $6.00!!!  Well, don't you know, that pretty thang went right into my cart!!!

Got to the cat food aisle to find the litter I use was $1.00 off.  Got me a jug and 10 can's of wet food for $4.00.  Chips were 2 for $5.00, ice cream topping was $1.00 off and---I found a sweet red cherry topping.  Usually I use Maraschino cherries or Strawberry topping, but I have always liked the sweet cherry kind they use at the Dairy Queen.

When I checked out, I had $23.00 in coupon savings.  AND--for the first time in my life, I took my penny jug along, dumped them in the Coin Star thingie and got $15.02, cash money back.

I go in this Friday to sign the bankruptcy papers!

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I suppose we are all saddened by Robin Williams' death.  Today I watched the police/coroner report in horrified details.    I have a couple of his movies on DVD, as I have always liked him.  I thought perhaps I'd go on amazon.com to get a couple more.  All his movies are "temporarily out of stock."  You know what that means?  Someone is buying them up so they can in turn, sell them on Amazon Marketplace at a much higher rate.  Yesterday, his DVD's were going for $5-6.  By weeks end, they probably will be going for $10-12 or more.  Greed?  Or, just people being smart?

=================

I posted on Face Book a bit about depression, what it's like, how there is very little to control it.  It is a disease--a chemical imbalance in the brain--a short-wiring of the nerves in the serotonin re-uptake center of the brain.  A couple of "friends" wrote, "We all have times in our lives like that.  We just need to remember out blessings and be glad."

I hooted when I saw their comments.  Lucky for them---they have NO CLUE what "real" depression is.

You can wake up in the morning with money in the bank, all your family and friends well and happy, sun in the sky, not a problem in your life--except you are in the dark pit of depression and you can barely force yourself to get out of bed, let alone get dressed and carry on a conversation.

I have battled it for 40 years now. Sometimes, I can feel it nibbling around the edges of my mind--sometimes, I can go to bed feeling wonderful and wake up in the morning, in that pit, and it doesn't leave for days--if I'm lucky.  If I'm not lucky--it will hang around for months.  It doesn't really matter what is going on in my life--the depression just comes.

When Fred died--I was NOT in depression.  Oh--I was sad and I grieved and I cried (a bit), but I wasn't depressed.  People think that's weird.  There is a great difference between being sad, blue, or down and depression.

Depression is like any other disease--it isn't a way to get attention and it isn't a way to have a pity party.  It is like any disease--arthritis, near sightedness, endometriosis.  You can try and control it, but...it's always there. It can also be genetic--Quite a few of my ancestor's had it--back then, they called it being melancholy.

I spent almost the entire year of 1976 with it.  I got up in the morning, got the kids off to school and went back to bed for the day.  I got up and got dressed a half-hour before they got home and acted like nothing was wrong.  I also had Agoraphobia--where I rarely left the house.  If I went to church, I had to sit in the back row.  If I went to one of the kid's school functions, I sat on the lowest bleacher, near the door. 

 When I went grocery shopping, which wasn't very often because we had a food delivery company, I might get as far as the third aisle and then have to leave my cart and walk very fast to the door and outside.  It was one giant panic attack after another--any time I was out of my house.  

One time, I had to go to a weekly series of meetings at the school for Mother's Club.  I only made it to one meeting because, I couldn't drive my car out of the driveway.  I'd get to the end of the driveway and back up to the garage and go back into the house, where I was safe.  It was awful and as I look through picture albums, there are no pictures of birthday's, Christmas--nothing in that year.  I don't even have a journal for that year--all the other years from 1972 until 2013--but none for 1976.  

The strange thing, some people that have chronic depression are the happiest acting.  They smile and laugh and tell jokes.  It's called compensation.  The minute the people around you quit laughing and leave, the mask comes off, the face falls, the shoulders droop.

A lot of comedians suffer from chronic depression--probably why they went into that line of work--to compensate.  

Right now--I am not depressed.  I'm not even blue or down or melancholy--who knows what tomorrow may bring.  

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My snack and the new cherry topping.

Bits of sweet cherries in a nice thick sauce.

My lucky day!!!

Monday Moaning

 I woke up to the sound of a chorus of Cicada's.  No need to look out and see if they are clustered on the tree trunks--these Cicada's are in my head.  Well--my ears.  My friend Tinnitus has given me this continual form of music, every minute of every day since 1995.  Yes--I have tried everything, including having my head and neck turned in different positions and jerked around--it's called the Epley Maneuver.  It is used for Vertigo, but we tried it for Tinnitus.  

Tinnitus (TIN-ih-tus) is noise or ringing in the ears. A common problem, tinnitus affects about 1 in 5 people. Tinnitus isn't a condition itself — it's a symptom of an underlying condition, such as age-related hearing loss, ear injury or a circulatory system disorder.

I've heard it can also be caused by dental procedures.

I arose with the Cicada concert accompanying me and proceeded to start my Monday and my new week.  
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Look at this right foot.  Does it look like anything is wrong with it?  Other than crooked toes and nails and a bit of fungus on my big toe nail--which I am curing with Vicks VapoRub rubbed into it every night.

It feels like there is a hair or a piece of string laying over

my third toe onto my second toe.

This is driving me crazy!! 

It is probably a nerve thingie.  I have tried cream on it.  I have tried massaging that foot.  Now, maybe I should try the Chiropractor?  If it's a nerve thing, he should be able to fix it...right?
====================

I checked outside to see what kind of animal life 
might be present:

Then I came in the computer room for some of this, while I woke up.

I was going to go shopping for food, but this continued all day:

So--I stayed home and did a bit of everything:

 Mostly sparrows at the feeders today,

but occasionally a flash of blue, or red or bright yellow,

will catch my eye.

A baby Hummingbird, the length of my pinkie finger.  A baby Chick-A-Dee, the length of my thumb and, a baby Downy Woodpecker, the length of my index finger, BUT--they are so young and full of energy, they don't stay still long enough to get their picture taken.
========================

Time to let the shower head soak all day in some

Lime-Away

Four loads of laundry

A bit more reading on the Stephen King book 

Notes for next year's garden and plantings

A bit of cross-stitch on the future great grand babes quilt

Sunday Walk-About

Come with me while I take a walk-about around my wee home.  

I'm barefooted, so you might want to take off your shoes too?

As I step out onto my front porch.....

                                              This is the view from my top step

 Where the new people's house will go--facing the street--long ways

Jackie's house is blue, Dar next door(beige house)

Across from Dar, Pearl (green truck)

Tami-red car

 Jackie has some beautiful gardens--this one by our mail boxes

This one between her and Dar
Dar has no flowers--she hates gardening, but--she does have a nice sawdust pile there in the left background :-)

Back to my house

We'll take a walk around to the west

I see something way back there in my wild flower garden

 Oh my Gosh!  

It's an actual May/Mandrake apple!

It looks like a small Yellow Delicious apple,

but I think we had better not eat it!

Right to left:  Rose of Sharon-not blooming              

Forsythia, didn't bloom at all, but now, is growing like crazy!

Another Rose of Sharon bush with  one--count 'em--one bloom 

Lilac-Rose of Sharon-Lilac

 I have white and pink blossoms on this Rose of Sharon

My shed and fine crop of Zinnia's

Gidget Yappy Dog lives in that house on the left

I honestly thought this Rose of Sharon was dead.

I think parts of it are, but will wait to see

These blossoms are kind of purplish-mauve 

This poor Privet Hedge!
Our harsh winter sure did a number on it.
I may cut back the dead branches-
had thought to have them pulled out, but....

There is new growth on the bottom of each bush

Coming back around to the front

We usually don't look off to our right, because....

 There is a lot of "stuff" in Tami's yard
junk piled up by her porch and so many "things"

My poor tiny perennial garden in front is fading.

My Purple Hyacinth Bean plant

is growing nicely, but...

will I ever see a big purple pod? 

                                  

                             Back up to my front porch 

This came fluttering down from the Maple tree-
just as I stepped up on the bottom step

My Mother would have a fit and tell me, 

"Don't bring that in the house.  

It's probably covered with fleas!"

But--now that I live alone, I can put it in my Indian pottery bowl,

along with all my other collected feathers,

right next to my empty bird's nest. :-)

A nice walk-about on a gorgeous day.