title explained

Onward and upward! something that you say in order to encourage someone to forget an unpleasant experience or failure and to think about the future instead and move forward.

My e-mail: jjmiller6213@comcast.net

Friday, November 22, 2013

Up and Out!






Here I come!

Pearl called this morning, wanting to know if I wanted to over on the other side of the park, to see her daughter's new home.  I wasn't dressed and I am not into spontaneity, but I knew I'd better day "yes" or Pearl would get mad.

Her youngest daughter recently purchased a big, three bedroom manufactured home on the south side of the park--the newer part--where most of families with children live.  It is really nice.  It has a large back yard that overlooks the lake behind our park.  Three bedrooms, two baths, a utility room, a living room, dining room, family room, huge kitchen with eating area and attached screened in porch on the back, with a large deck all along the side of the house..  

Of course, you know me--I have been lusting for a larger place and it was good for me to go through this home as I realized pretty quickly that it is way more then I could take care of!  

Pretty funny--to get to the other side of the park, you can go up the service drive off to the side of where I live--however, regular traffic is not supposed to use that--although we can walk and bicycle on it.  I took off up it and Pearl starting yelling, "You can't go this way!  You have to go around by the road!"

"Around by the road is three miles," I said.  "This way is only about 300 feet."

"What if one of the maintenance guys sees us?"

"I know all of them.  I will just wave and it will be all right."

She huffed and puffed for the entire 4 minute drive there and back, but we didn't meet anyone.  When I dropped her off at her house I said, "Now, wasn't that a fun adventure?"

"Adventure?"

"Sure," is said.  "It raised your heart rate, you were a bit startled and scared.  That's good for ya!"

"You're weird," she said as she hobbled up the drive to her place.

It was fun and it got my day going.
===================================
I guess my Forsythia thinks it is early spring and time to bloom?



I was standing at my stove, putting all the ingredients together for another batch of spaghetti sauce.  I glanced up, looked out the window and yelled!


 The moon is rising in the east!!!
Apparently he has a leak around the sky-light?


Even when he stood up, his jeans were still drooping.  What a view!!!

========================================

Where were you 50 years ago, when you heard the news?  Everyone remembers--even kids that were young at the time, remember.

I was not a fan of the President--had heard too much about his rich lifestyle and rumors of mob connections with his family.  It had been my first election to vote in and I had not voted for him.  I was more in like with him when he ended the Cuban Missile Crisis.  We were in the height of the Cold War.  The Russian's had the capability to bomb the heck out of us with their long range missile's.  He didn't seem to be doing a very good job talking detente with them and, I thought he was a bit slow in helping the Civil Rights movement.

I had three young children--and had started back to college.  I was sitting in Political Science class, of all things, when a young man came in, walked over and whispered in the Professor's ear.  The prof screamed "NO!", sat down in his chair and laid his head on his desk, sobbing and wailing, "no, no, no,"  We all looked at each other--we thought perhaps one of his children had been killed or something.  

Suddenly the public address system crackled and we heard the announcement.  

"President Kennedy has been shot and killed in Dallas Texas.  We urge everyone to leave campus immediately and go home.  The campus will be closed."

As we hurried out into the halls, toward the exits, there were comments from some of the other Professor's that they thought the assassination was a signal for the Russian's to flick the switch and send their ICBM's toward the United States.  All I could think about was getting out of the city--Flint was a huge manufacturing town at the time.  I thought surely it would be a target--we had heard they would hit the manufacturing cities first.

The normally forty-five minutes drive home, took me about thirty minutes that day.  I stopped at my neighbor's to pick up the kids.  She was shaking, as was I.  Our husband's were still in the GM manufacturing plant in Flint.  Would they be killed?  It was almost as if we kept listening for a loud boom to come from that direction.

There were only three stations on television at that time--I immediately turned on CBS--which came in the clearest from our antennae.  The TV stations weren't on 24 hours back then, so I watched until they went off at night and then first thing in the morning.  I sat watching on Sunday morning, when Lee Harvey Oswald was shot by Jack Ruby on LIVE coverage.  That was shocking to me!

I have often wondered what our society would be like if Kennedy had remained alive and run for re-election. Surely, he would have won.  Would there have been the anti-war demonstrations?  Would there have been the race riots?

Now--fifty years later, a lot of records have been opened for public view.  We now know of Kennedy's drug abuse and sexual affairs.  Jackie was also on a drug regimen.  Jack had to have pain meds several times a day, and then amphetamine injections to counter act the mind numbing effect of the pain meds, plus testosterone injections everyday to make him feel and appear vital and young.  Jackie frequently got amphetamine injections.  When Robert Kennedy found out about it, he talked to Jack's "Feel Good" doctor about it.  It is now accepted by most doctor's that Jack would not have lived through a second term--the drug use would have killed him, as it caused high cholesterol (450) and high blood pressure, along with damage to his organs and his Addison's Disease.

Bobby actually ran most of the day-to-day business in the White House--I wish he could have become President--I think he might have done a good job.

(Can you imagine if he held the office today--with all the media coverage we see?  He probably would have had to resign.His sexual affairs made Bill Clinton's look like nothing.)
===============================

I never held with any of the conspiracy theories.  However, I recently watched a PBS documentary, with doctor's who were in the emergency room that day, and other witnesses.  The first wound to his neck, that hit Connely, was not fatal.  It would have knocked him over to safety, IF he hadn't been wearing his metal back brace that kept him upright.  The second shot--the fatal one that blew his head open, came from a different trajectory and is thought to be from the second car where the Secret Service guys were riding.  The bullet in Kennedy's neck and the one in his head are two different calibers.

This documentary states that; the night before, the Secret Service men were having a party--mot of them were drunk and hungover the next day.  One of the guys was fairly new on the job and appeared to be more sober then the rest.  They put  him in the passenger seat of the car.  He had a rifle at his feet.

When they heard the first shot, he grabbed the rifle and stood up.  The Secret Service driver car then tromped on the gas, which threw him back a bit and caused the rifle to go off.  Apparently, they believe, this is the fatal shot.  A lot of CSI people, doctors and medical examiners agree with this theory.  We will probably never know--as some of those Secret Service men are still alive.

What I find the most tragic actually--Jack and Jackie were never really in love.  They had a part to play, an image to show to the world--the golden couple.  Much like Charles and Diana.  Jack still kept up his sexual affairs and Jackie knew about them.  She spent a lot of time away from the White House, to keep from hearing the rumors that the staff laughed about.

It was only after Patrick died, that they became closer.  They seemed to be falling in love when he was killed. 

Whichever "party" we belonged too, as a nation, we all sat glued to the TV and cried for an entire four days.  We, as a people and a nation, lost our innocence that day so long ago. 



Thursday, November 21, 2013

Epiphany

Today's high temperature was: 45 degrees
Grey. rainy, much colder tonight
==============================
Back story?  Semi-autobiographical?  Fiction based on fact?  Are you kidding me?  Who could have that kind of life?

I honestly wondered at one time, if perhaps I WAS capable of putting a bad curse on people.  Not that I ever wanted to, but it seemed men I had known and cared for deeply and saw a future with AND DUMPED ME were dying at a rapid rate--for no known reason.  They were all healthy and all of a sudden, they weren't.  How could a pastor die from liver cancer?  He never drank in his life.  How could a health nut, who worked out every day plus, ran 10 miles each day, drop over dead of a heart attack?  How does a man in his sixties, who worked hard as a mechanic, suddenly have blood cancer and die within weeks?  And the last man--so vital, and young.  Doing work for everyone in the neighborhood--the one who hurt me the most--die in such a horrific manner? Well--that WAS fiction.  Yes, at one time he suffered with bad burns, but he recovered and a three years later, last year, died of 20 different cancers in his body.

Only one thing they all had in common.  They all had dumped me in a ruthless way and now--they are all dead.  I once told Fred to be careful, and then I told him the stories.  He laughed, said he was "safe" because he would never hurt me.  Then of course, he died, which hurt me the most.
======================================
This blog post spoke to me this morning.  I feel like Bella is talking about my life.  I suppose if Fred were still here, I would still be doing what she and her husband are doing.  Left alone, I have become an introvert--heck I am real near being a recluse!  The thing of it is, I know it and don't really mind.  Is it a commonality of getting older?  Wanting to have our alone time?  Liking the quietness?  Finding excuses to just stay at home?  Or perhaps, as I have felt, I have always been a loner and the past years were me trying to be something I wasn't.  Trying to be liked so I had the jokes and the quick wit to say something funny and the parties and the laugh.  Now--I'm not going to even try.  As I told Bethie this morning that I wasn't going to the November Third Thursday of the Month luncheon.  I just didn't feel like putting forth the effort and believe me--today, it would have taken all my gumption to attend.
====================================
Well--now I am getting ticked off!  I first found out Jen was mad at me in April.  It didn't really bother me for seven months.  Nothing seemed much different.  In the summer of 2012, after my hip surgery, when I could get around better, I begged her to invite me over for supper, or for us to go out.  She promised to "do" a supper with me at the Black Rock restaurant--I gave her the gift certificate for it.  I asked her to please let me know when the kids were involved in something at church/school/sports, so I could attend.  To let me know a day I could take them to play putt putt golf.  Never happened.

Last Thanksgiving, she called to tell me Eric's mother, brother and friend were coming in and she would let me know what time to come over.  I looked forward to it, as I like Eric's mother and we have a good time talking, playing cards and games with the kids.  By 6:00 Thanksgiving evening, I kind of figured perhaps they weren't having their celebration until Saturday or perhaps Sunday.  Well, the next Monday arrived and no calls--nothing.  I finally called Jen and asked her what had happened and she said, "We got so busy, I forgot."  Nice huh?

So this year, I started the procedure over again, asking when I could see the kids or come over for a play day or whatever.  I stopped over one Sunday in February, unannounced, and she acted very irritated.  Then the whole debacle in going to her church, during Lent.  Her excuse always was, "We didn't have time to call and tell you where we were going to sit."  Then in April, I got her first e-mail.

So now, her last e-mail said that I never had time for the kids. Could I send her a rebuttal e-mail and bring up the things she has done over the past two years?  Of course I could.  What would be her reply?  "It's always all about you, isn't it?"  Could I send her an e-mail or letter explaining that 3,500 people DID NOT see the post and she is incorrect in her assumptions about blogs?  Sure I could.  Would she respond?  Of course not!  Because it would be all "about me" trying to justify my actions.

Now, she says it is my fault that "the family won't see the kids on Christmas Eve."  Except--the "family" sees them all the time.  Karen tutors them, Pammie baby sits them, Susan sees them and Mark saw them just two weeks ago when they all met for their Dad's going to Florida get together.  Except Jen who stayed home because she was "sick"--sure she was.  She's not too keen on her Dad either.

So--I won't see them.  How is that any different then it has been for the last 10 years?  How she promised me if I moved down here, I would baby sit Andrew and she would pay me $500.00 a month (which was figured into my budget) and then changed her mind.  AND OF COURSE I was suppose to understand.

With nothing being any different in our relationship, except she has made it "official" that I am dead to her, why am I upset?  I still have my three children that love me and want to be with me.  I still have grandchildren (including hers) that love me and want to be with me.  It appears to me to be a "cut off your nose to spite your face" kind of thing.

That ticks me off and that feeling, is all I need to put it all back on her decision to act this way, and get me out of this pit!!!

Pearl and I were talking about this just  yesterday.  Her oldest daughter didn't speak to or see her for two years.  Pearl had no idea what brought it on, but she just let her daughter be and a couple of years ago, she started showing up for family gatherings again.

So--I am just going to "let my daughter be".  Her decision, her choice, her consequences.
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Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Strange and Weird--just a pastime thing to write

Death Comes In Threes


            I hung up the phone and leaned back in my chair.
            “He shoulda known better,” I whispered to myself.
            Connie had called with news about Lee.
            “They’ve moved him to a hospice.  They don’t expect him to live out the month,” she wailed.
            “Oh, that’s too bad,” I said, trying to keep a smile from my voice.  “I will pray for him.”

            I hadn’t seen the connection, four years ago, when Harold died. 
Cirrhosis of the liver.    
That’s what they put on his death certificate. 
The man was a minister. He never took a drink in his life. 
            Harold was a persuasive man. 
Sweet talker.  It came with the business he was in.
            He whispered that I was beautiful.     
“Your soul shines from the inside out.”
We had to be very careful and not go out together in public.
            He liked to visit me Saturday nights.
            “Being with you gives me inspiration for my sermon tomorrow,” he always said.
One Sunday morning, as I sat in the choir looking out at the congregation, I noticed a lady smiling at everything Harold said. 
            After nine months of us being together, he was sweet talking her.
            I didn’t think she was all that pretty, but perhaps she had a beautiful soul that shone from the inside out? 
           He didn't come out to my house on Saturday nights anymore.  
           He said he was busy studying for his Doctorate.  They married the next year.   

Eighteen months later when Tim died, something clicked in my mind. 
I wondered if this was a coincidence. 
They said he had a massive heart attack. 
The man was a health freak. 
Four days a week at the gym. 
Running seven miles a day on Saturday and Sunday. 
Cholesterol at one-thirty-five and weight at one- seventy. 
I was told he had just had a physical; complete with imaging of his heart, Doppler sonogram on his carotid arteries and legs and an ultra sound of his aorta.
            “Tim was in perfect health,” his father said at the funeral home visitation.
            He shoulda known better.

Tim loved my sensitive, non-judgmental side. 
“You are the sweetest woman I have ever known.  You light up the room when you enter it.  You are so open minded, kind and sweet to everyone you meet.”
Tim seemed sincere. 
I introduced him to all my friends and they liked him.  I even bought a membership at the gym so we could work out together. 
Six months later, I found out he was having an affair with his personal trainer; Robert.

            Coincidence?
Two men whom I had a relationship with and loved.  
Two men who betrayed me and dumped me. Dead?
It would be a natural thing if I were eighty, but at fifty-five?
I wondered.
I was the common denominator.
It felt strange. 
It felt good.
            It was exhilarating.
I had power.

Now it was Lee’s turn.
Connie said he had a brain tumor.  The doctor’s had told him they “got it all” and with chemotherapy, he was cured.
I knew better.
Seven months later it was in his bone marrow.  His liver and kidneys were shutting down.  They moved him to hospice.
“Jane,” Connie had sobbed on the phone.  “They say hospice won’t take a person unless they have less than three months to live.  I talked to the nurse.  She said Lee only has a few weeks at best.”
Justice.

I sat in my chair and thought about Lee.
I met Lee Wrightman three years ago, shortly after Tim dumped me.  We met on the Internet and wrote back and forth for a couple of weeks.  I.M’d each other every night.  He wanted my phone number right away, but I wouldn't give it to him.
“I want to get to know you better,” I wrote.
“Why?  You think I might be a midnight stalker?”
“Might be,” I laughed as I typed my answer..

We hit it off right away. 
He had a great sense of humor, which I thoroughly appreciated.  He also had a way of complimenting me that made me feel like the luckiest woman in the world.
`“You know you are so gorgeous, Doll.”
He liked to call me Doll.
“I feel so proud every time we walk into the club, because you are on my arm".
I lapped it up.  Like a puppy with a warm bowl of milk.
We dated for two years. 
Spent every weekend together…at his insistence. 
My friends told me I was investing too much of myself in him.  They were just jealous because I no longer had time to join them and their frivolous luncheons.
“Don’t invest more of yourself than you can afford to lose,” one of my dear friends had said.
“I’m not about to lose anything.  Lee is committed to our relationship.”
Well, I said that to them…and I believed it.
Then, almost to the day of our two year anniversary, Lee said, “Jane, I feel like my foot is nailed to the floor.” 
I sat there calmly on his couch, but I could feel the red tide coming up from my stomach, into my throat, about to explode in my brain.
“What do you mean?” I asked sweetly.
“I feel like we spend too much time together.  I might want to go out alone on the weekend, but you are here.”
“But you invite me here for the weekend.”
He went on, “Even when I go out during the week…you are with me.”
“I’m not here during the week, Honey,” I laughed.
“Even when you aren’t with me physically…you are still in my mind.” he said.
That didn’t make any sense to me.
“If I happen to talk to another woman, dance with a woman at the club…I feel guilty.”
“Well, you should, ass hole,” I thought to myself.
I didn’t say a word.  Got up and went into his bedroom.  I opened the closet and pulled out the clothes I kept there for the weekends. 
Took off the sapphire ring he had given me for Christmas and put it in his under wear drawer where I knew he’d find it.
I went into the bathroom, got my shampoo and body wash out of his shower.  Took it all, stuffed it into my over night bag and walked out. 
Walked right past him sitting in his chair watching television and just kept on walking.
“Doll, where are you going?” he called.
“Home,” I quietly said.

That was the way it ended. 
I liked feeling that I had taken the upper hand. 
Left him before he could ask me to leave. 
Broke up with him before he had the chance. 
Power. 

I laughed all the way on my drive home.
Tears rolled down my face and blurred my vision, I laughed so hard.
When I got home there was a message from Lee on the machine.
“I didn’t want to break up forever…I just want to take a couple of weeks break so I don’t feel so smothered. Please call me back.”
Nah…you aren’t having it your way idiot. 
The end.

Then I came down off my high.
For the next ten days I hardly slept or ate. 
I didn’t leave my house. 
I didn’t shower. 
One night at three o’clock in the morning, I thought I was having a nervous breakdown. 
I cried until my sinuses were so congested I couldn’t breathe.
My throat was so swollen I couldn’t swallow. 
He kept calling me, but I wouldn't answer the phone. 
“He’s just not worth it,” I yelled to the empty room.

Two months later I found out through the club gossip that Lee and Connie were dating. 
I was livid with rage. 
It didn’t show. 
I have learned over the years how to put on “the face”. 
“Jane is the sweetest woman I have ever known.”  I knew that’s how they all felt about me.  I had heard them say it.
            When I saw Connie…“Connie, that’s wonderful,” I smiled as I gave her a hug.
“You don’t mind?”
            “Mind? No, Honey.  Lee and I just didn’t have enough in common to build a relationship.  You are perfect for him.”
            Now she was paying the price.
That bastard had hurt me and soon…he would pay the price for his actions.
I didn’t need a sleeping pill the night Connie called to say Lee was dying.
I slept like a baby.

I got up the next day and noticed what a beautiful day it was. 
Lee was breathing his last. 
Medicated on morphine out of his mind.
The tumor still growing in his brain.
His body turning yellow from the shut down of  his kidney's and liver.
I was enjoying a beautiful, sunny fall day. 
Connie, well, now poor Connie, she is in so much pain. 
Much like the pain I had suffered. 
I felt wonderful!

            As I sat at my breakfast table, I could feel it build in me.
A physical feeling coursing through my body.
            I even felt a small twinge of pain in the base of my skull from the exhilaration.
            He shoulda known better.

            I walked out to the porch, breathed in the crisp fall air and bent over to pick up the Mannion Falls Press. 
            I quickly scanned the headlines. 
No good news there for sure.
            Everyone was beating up on the President.
            I turned to the second section and an item in the obituary column caught my eye.
                                   
“Vern Stark died Thursday of burns
suffered on Saturday.  Mr. Stark
was filling his lawn mower with
gasoline when it exploded, covering
eighty percent of his body in burns.
                        Mr. Stark leaves behind his fiancee
                        Darlene Rose, his son, John and a
host of friends.”

Vern Stark. 
We had a wonderful relationship that lasted for four years. 
He was, and if I wanted to admit it, still the love of my life.
Two kindred souls.  So much alike it was eerie. 
The year before I met him, he had dated Darlene.  She had broken up with him which left him feeling depressed and withdrawn. 
I guess she was the love of his life? 
She had soon married and moved to Wyoming
When Vern and I first met, we talked about it and when I questioned him on how he felt about Darlene, he assured me.
“That’s all water over the dam.  She used me…she knew how to manipulate me and I couldn’t see it.  She wanted me when she wanted something from me and then when I thought our relationship was going somewhere…well…she pushed me away. I never want to see her again.”
Okay.  I was reassured.
Six months before Vern broke up with me, Darlene came back to town.  Newly divorced and looking for an old friend to talk to.
“It’s just a friendly lunch,” he told me.  “There is nothing to it.”
Then the “friendly lunch” turned into friendly dinners and friendly phone calls almost every day.
Then frantic pleas of, “The kitchen cabinet door fell off the hinges.  Vern, could you please come and fix it for me,” and off to Darlene’s he went. 
Just being a friend.
 It took me a long time to get wise.  Maybe I just didn’t want to see?

He was dead!
I wondered if he had suffered. 
Burns over eighty percent of his body?  He must have suffered horribly for those five days.
I put the newspaper down, leaned back in my chair and smiled.
Grinned, actually. 
Grinned so hard my cheeks hurt.
One by one, they were dying!

The phone rang.
“What? I can’t understand you,” I said.
“It’s Connie.  Jane…he’s gone.”
Connie was sobbing uncontrollably.  I could hardly understand her.
“What?  Connie…slow down.  Take a deep breath.  Is it Lee?”
“Yes…Jane…he died early this morning.  They said he would live a month, but his whole body shut down.  He was comatose.  I never got a chance to say goodbye. “
I frowned to keep the laughter out of my voice.
“Oh, Sweetie.  I am so very, very sorry.  I know how much you loved him.  I know that you are…suffering.  I am just so sorry.”
“Jane, I knew you would understand.  You are the kindest woman I know?”
“Have you had time to make any arrangements?” I asked.
“Well, I have talked to the funeral home and they said we could have the funeral on Monday.  Visitation will be tomorrow evening and again on Sunday.”
“Well Dear, you know I will be there for you.  You just call me when you have all the arrangements made and I will be at the funeral home with you for as long as you need me.”
“Thanks, Jane.  I have to go now and talk to his sister.”
“Please tell Annie that I send my sympathy.”
“I will Dear.  Goodbye.”
Good thing she got off the phone.  I could barely contain the giggle that welled up in my throat. 
That wouldn’t have been nice of me.

Now.  Right now--two past loves…both dead within a day of each other.
I thought…“Death comes in threes.  Wonder who will be next. 
Jim, George? Perhaps that bastard David?”
They could run, but eventually….
They all had the same “disease” in common.  Harold, Tim, Vern and now Lee.
I had known and loved them all and they had thrown me away.
They took the gift I offered them.  Unwrapped the shiny golden paper and threw it on the ground; stomped on it, kicked it aside and walked away.
Thrown me away like worthless junk. 
A used, fast food container thrown in the ditch.
I deserved to be treated better than garbage.

I felt the warm physical exhilaration start again.  Blood rushed through my body and into my head.  I could hear my heart pounding in my ears.
I would have no problem sleeping tonight.









                        Mannion Falls Press     
                        Police found the body of Jane Martin
                        in her east side home Saturday morning. 
They were alerted by her best friend
Connie Wilson after she had called
Ms. Martin several times, with no answer.
The coroner ruled death from a brain aneurysm.
                        Ms. Martin was a member of the Mannion Falls
Methodist Church, President of the Mannion
Falls Singles Club, and secretary of the
Willow Grove Ladies Golf League.
She leaves behind her beloved
                        cat Molly and a host of friends.

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

I Can See Daylight

Today's high temperature was: 42 degrees
Sunny and bright all day, with no wind!

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more rungs added today



I have just finished a book I thoroughly enjoyed!  It is written by our friend Jean R. who comments on here everyday.  She wrote it as a diary of her first year as a widow.  How to cope.  How to figure out how to build a new life.  She is humorous in her writings--has a dark sense of humor at times, which I like because I have that also.  It is amazing some of the things we share.  She also likes light colors in her home--like you'd find in a beach cottage.

Her blog is here, and her book is here.

There are a couple of widows who read this blog and we all share one thing in common; our men died in January 2012.  Fred, January 1st.  Howard, January 2nd.  Don, January 18th.  We are all facing the end of the Terrible Second Year (which I pooh poohed, but it is true.)  I wonder if anyone has written how the 3rd year goes.  Maybe we will all find out--together? 

Thanks for all your help and understanding, Jean.  I do appreciate it.
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I am having a hard time crocheting lately.  My Chiropractor's receptionist is having her first baby in February.  A girl, so I am trying to crochet her my favorite baby afghan.  It seems, almost every time I take my hook and hover over the "hole-stitch", my right hand starts shaking and jumps all around.  Plus I am having Carpal Tunnel syndrome quite a bit in both hands.  I am also just about to the point where I can't do cross stitch anymore, unless it is stamped cross stitch.  Those dang little holes are hard to aim my needle into with my right hand twitching.  It isn't Parkinson's or anything like that--it is called---some fancy name benign tremor.  Nothing to do about it--however, if I am a bit nervous or stressed, it is worse.  I did notice, Sunday afternoon, when I was wound tighter then a watch spring that has been wound too tight, I took an Ativan and it seemed to help the shakies.

I can't write anymore because of it--I had to sign my name the other day and had to hold my right hand with my left hand to steady it so I could get a decent signature.  BOTHERATION!!!
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I WILL have somewhere to go on Thanksgiving!  In fact, I have two invitations!  Karen is having her in-laws and other family members and invited me.  I didn't really want to go.  They are a noisy group--lots of kids.  I was pondering how to get out of it when my sister called and asked me.  She and her husband are going to be alone.  Then she also invited Pammie!  How nice to only have 4 people--and they all won't be watching and screaming at a football game.  YES--I am going to Susan's house--the old homestead--for Thanksgiving.  Maybe I can make it and stay for more then two hours?

Monday, November 18, 2013

Every Rung Goes Higher, Higher

Today's high temperature was: 36
Wind, rolling grey clouds--not one peek of sun.
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My ladder is progressing.

Boy did we have some bad storms!  The worst storms we have had (for the entire state) in 10 years.  Not as bad as Indiana, Illinois and Ohio--such devastation and at this time of year.  Weird.  My sister said, "When the storm hit it was a like a blanket descended over the house--we couldn't see out of any window and the wind howled like a train!  I can't believe the 150 year old outhouse is still standing!"  Their house is on a small hill and with no wind breaks to the west of them, only open fields.  But, the house (along with the out house) has stood for over 150 years, so no 75 mph wind is going to take her down!!

We got lots of slanted rain here and 50 mph wind gusts with 40 mph straight line winds.  My house is built to withstand 110 mph winds, plus I have the added wind break of the house west of me and the woods south of me.  My lawn has a lot of leaves on it again, but they will just have to stay.  None of my bags blew over or away and will be picked up tomorrow.

My Michigan State Spartan basketball game is now rated #1 in the country.  A long time since that has happened and the football team beat Nebraska and we are like 6-0--perhaps a Rose Bowl visit this coming New Year's Day?  We have to get past Minnesota first!

I have wanted an electric fireplace for a few years now--actually since I moved in here and look what I found--just what I need.  Combination fireplace and media center--which would sit where my entertainment center is now.


It would sit flat against the wall, across from my chair

taking the place of the entertainment center
which I am increasingly sick to death of!

It however costs, $629 and then I would also have to buy the insert with the fake flames and all for another $150.  Then I would have to get someone to put it together and move the TV and all the components out of the one I have and get them hooked up correctly and...and......well, let's just say, I will go on "wanting" for quite a while.

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I am building my ladder, rung-by-rung and gaining a bit of ground.  I still cannot see the top of the pit, but I know there is top edge and I will get there.  It is just, first thing in the morning, I think about Jen and it makes a squiggly kind of feeling in my stomach.

Today, I cleaned the bedroom, washer and dryer area, bathroom and then mopped the kitchen floor, dusted everything and as long as I was dusting, decided to take all the stuff of where I want my Christmas nativities, Santas and other stuff to go.  It all looks very clean and bare--I kind of like the uncluttered look!  While moving things in the kitchen, I found all 6 of Maggies, little mousies and so she is very happy.  All Buddy did was complain all the time because I had the cat food and water dish sitting in the living room so I could mop.

I have let Fred go back to resting in peace (whatever that means).  Every night, I still hear him say, "Night. Night.  Don't let the bed bugs bite"--whatever that meant.  That nightly saying use to rile me a bit, but then he'd say, "I love you, Sweetheart. See you on the other side of midnight.", and that kind of made up for it.  When he could no longer lay on  his right side, so I could snuggle up behind him, and had to lay on his back, with his breathing machine, I would roll over on my right side, bend my knee so it touched his thigh, and hold his left thumb until I went to sleep.  Now, I just pet big Buddy's soft fur until he lays his head on my hand and we go off to sleep.

See you tomorrow--it promises to be sunny and in the 40's.






Sunday, November 17, 2013

Spaghetti Sauce

Today's high temperature was: 61
Rainy in the a.m.
Bad storms rolled through--quite a bit of damage with 75 mph winds--all safe here.
Now--40 mph consistent winds with 50 mph gusts.

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This is how the spaghetti sauce recipe reads.  I got it in 1978 from my dear little 4'11" Italian friend, Francine.


In large stock pot

Brown:
2 # ground beef
3 Hot Italian sausage links--Johnsonville
          (slit skin, peel off and make small meatballs out of sausage.)

Add:
1 medium onion chopped
1 green pepper chopped
2 garlic buds, diced
Cook with meats until tender

Add: 
2 quarts diced tomatoes
1 quart tomato sauce
48 oz. tomato juice
2 Tbls. Oregano
2 Tbls. Sweet basil
2 Tbls. Italian seasoning
2 Tbls. Garlic powder
¾ cup granulated sugar
(Can add 1 can mushrooms)

Cover and simmer for hours and hours J stirring occasionally—about 5 hours

Uncover and simmer to thicken.

Can be frozen in quart freezer bags

Make about 6-7 quarts of sauce

Use for all Italian dishes

Makes a nice chunky sauce that is out of this world!!!!!
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First: Put on your long, bib apron to keep red, staining, tomato stuff off your clothes.



 Then get out your favorite stock pot.  This is the one I bought last year just for this project (and making chili) because this Farber Ware will not stick and burn!!

I sometimes start with a bit of olive oil, but usually there is enough grease from the ground beef .
The Johnsonville HOT Italian Sausage Links are not HOT--I make it into small meatballs and everyone loves coming across one while eating the sauce.

After I get everything all in the pot, I have a special "simmer" burner on the back right of the stove and that is where I let is simmer--for about five hours.

I uncover it and throw in 4 of these capsules, to break up the fat.


Let it simmer, uncovered to thicken--I don't know how long--you will know when it is ready.

Then, I put the pot in my sink to cool and so I won't make a mess when I transfer it over into the quart Zip Lock baggies.



Using my handy-dandy wide mouth funnel and ladle, I put the
sauce into the quart freezer bags--about 5 scoops full.

Put them in freezer.  Later, I will take a gallon zip lock freezer bag, label it with their name, and put two quart bags into it.  Even Pammie gets some this year :-)

If there is any small amount left over, I usually just use it and have spaghetti the next day for myself.

The nice part is, when it is re-warmed, it is even a bit thicker.
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Friday, I paid $40 to get this job done.



Then the bad storms were predicted, so I went out, moved the bags over to the east side of the drive and parked my car next to them to protect from the south-west gales.  If the gales tip over my car, it will pin the bags nicely to the drive and they won't blow onto my neighbor's yard :-).



Man--it is roaring out there right now!!!