Good Stuff. Sad Stuff. Life Stuff.

I had to run up to Wal-Mart yesterday to get two prescriptions picked-up.  On the way home, I stopped at the car wash.  I was the last vehicle in a 5 car line-up and when I got in, the kids did an extra scrub with the brush and mop.  I felt like I had received an unexpected perk.

Not bad looking for a 17 year old car.  Eh?

I did a walk about to see how the spring flowers are doing.  Front garden doing well--on the way out, but lily plants coming on strong so soon will have more beautiful flowers.

Woodland flowers on left of my side garden, coming on strong.

May Apples, Trilliums, Violets.  

Jack-In-The-Pulpit not up as yet. 

Karen called and we chatted for a bit,  Oldest grand daughter Helene, has moved from LA back to Arizona for a week.  She has completed her Master's at UCLA and is back in AZ visiting friends.  Her Dad is flying out today to help her drive back to Michigan.  She already has a job interview with her Dad's company, and if she gets the position, will be moving to D.C. to work.

Maddie will be coming back from Guatemala on July 1st.  She HAS to come back, as she already had renewed her Visa for another 3 month stay.  It's a good thing she HAS to come home, or I don't think she'd ever leave there.  She will be going into a nursing program at a local college.  Nursing?  We haven't had a nurse in our family for 90+ years!  She wants to get her degree so she can go back and work at the clinic where she's been in Guatemala.

Pammie called in the late afternoon.  In our conversation, I asked if she had talked to Karen lately and she said, "Yes.  I saw her at Elise' volleyball game the other night."  I don't think she realized how much her words hurt me.

A big lump in my throat and tears started.  I thought perhaps things were improving with Jen, but apparently not.  Maybe it's her husband that can't stand for me to be in his line of sight?

They are going to be moving to NJ.  Do you know how much it would mean to me to be able to attend a volleyball game or band concert to see Elise perform? 

How much it would mean to go watch Little Boy play Soccer or Big Boy do his Karate thing?  To even be able to watch the 3 year old playing at his house?

If I knew where and when these events took place, I would go--sneak in and sit on the other side of the gym, just to see them.  I wouldn't go anywhere near Jen or her husband---I just want to see the kids...before they leave my life entirely.

Called my little sister as I haven't seen or heard from her since the hospital visit.  She was just returning from an Emmaus retreat weekend at a big church in Flint.  I hope I can get out to The Farm this week.

In the meantime--my "daughter" Chris is having me test a crochet pattern for her.  I am doing an XL Twin bed crocheted cover/blanket for her.  I am keeping notes on how many stitches, the size, the number of skeins, any changes in her pattern.  Can you believe it?  She is paying me to sit on my skinny behind, in my recliner, watching TV and crocheting.   It doesn't get much better than that!!!

Thankfully for Chris.  I don't know what I would do without her in my life.  She is always so loving and supportive to me.  Much more caring than any of my "real" kids!

All About Me

Sorry I haven't posted much, but now--it IS all about me.

I am tackling yet another BP drug added to the mix I now take.  That's 7 new drugs tested in the last month, and 4 I used to take, taken away.  Two of those 7 new ones have been discarded.  

GEEZ LOUISE!

I have to admit that I feel really good with high BP. LOL.  When it gets us to 194/68--I feel really great.  Perhaps because it raises my pulse rate into the mid-50's?  I am a weird case for sure.

So today, I played outside a bit as it was a gorgeous day--weather wise.  I walked up to Pearl's and we chatted a bit.  Her blood sugar has been running high and our doc wants her to change her diet and lose a whole lot of weight.  She is completely unconcerned about it, saying, "Why does it matter if my blood sugar is high?"

"Because you will get Type Two Diabetes."

"Who cares?"

"YOU DO!!  It makes your pancreas non-functioning.  It will ruin your kidneys and you will have to have dialysis.  Your feet will turn black and you might have to have them amputated!  To say nothing about the coma you can go into...and die!"

"It can do that?"

"YES...and you will have to get a meter and test your blood several times a day.  I hope you don't mind needles in your fingertips and stomach!"

"I can't afford all that."

"Well then...take care of it."

So--I know I exaggerated a bit, but Fred had Type II Diabetes and I know how bad that disease can  be.  That is one disease I do not ever want to have!

Nothing I can do about her!!!
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Pearl's garden of spring bulbs is so beautiful!  Mine is not as full.  I am so grateful that I live far enough north where we get Daffodils and Tulips and all the spring flowering bulbs.

A Nice Day

Look what came in the mail today!

I finally saved up enough $$ to order 10 copies of my last print book.  

Speaking of books, I have been writing my How To book in Book Wright by Blurb.  They will print it out for me, BUT, it is too many pages long, with too many photos and would cost me an arm and two legs to afford to get it printed for distribution.

Speaking of books, I also finished my Family History book that I want to give my kids, also with Blurb.  BUT, it is too long and has too many photos and would cost me over $100.00 PER BOOK to get one printed.  

SO--I am copying them off the Blurb site and putting them into Word.  THEN--I will go on a search at Staples or somewhere and find the kind of paper I want and...print them out and bind them myself!!!
OR, check at the printing company just up the road.

SO THERE!!

I want to get some sort of paper that is kind of like what they use in a magazine--kind of shiny, but not as heavy as photo paper.  It will probably cost me $100.00 in paper and ink, but that will cover at least 5 copies of the Family History book.  For the How To book, I will do the same and then if anyone wants it, I can print and bind a copy for them.  Figure out how much one copy costs, and just charge them that and postage.  I don't need a profit.  I just need the cost of this fun book.

SO THERE!!!

Now, my surrogate daughter Chrissy, (my daughter from another mother) wants me to test one of her crochet patterns.  This sounds like fun and will give me a new project to work on while watching baseball games.  She will pay me for my time and supplies.  Win-Win!

SO THERE!!!

I am a woman on a mission.

I Feel Even Better!

Yesterday I decided that I would go to the doc's office to get a blood draw to check my Potassium.  Pearl mentioned that she had an appointment with him at 10:30 and I told her she could ride with me.

I picked her up.  When we got to the office, she walked up to sign in and the receptionist said, "Are you Pearl Johnson?"

"No.  Pearl Ott.  I have a ten-thirty appointment."

"Ah-hh.  You have a ten-thirty appointment this coming Thursday, not today."

"What's today?"

"Tuesday."

"Oh."

So Pearl sat down next to me and, even though I had heard the conversation, she repeated:

"I'm here on the wrong day.  I have to come back...ah...wait..." and she got up and went back up to the receptionist's desk.

"Tell me again.... when am I suppose to come in.  Tomorrow at nine-thirty, right?"

"No, this coming Thursday--April thirtieth, at ten-thirty.  I will give you a card."

So Pearl sat in the waiting room while I got my blood drawn.

On the way home we talked.

"I could have sworn on a stack of Bibles that my appointment was today.  I know I wrote it on my calendar."

"Did you think today is Thursday?"

"No!  I know what day it is.  Good Lord!"

"Maybe you should start taking your Aricept again."

"I took it for two days and I didn't think it helped."

"You have to take it at least two weeks for it to start having any effect."

"I hate taking pills!"

"Not me!  If it helps me, I'll take anything they got!"

"I don't want to take Alzheimer's medicine.  I hate the thought."

"But if it helps--at least it will help stop your forgetfulness from advancing so rapidly."

"I hate this!  The same thing happened Sunday.  We had plans to go out with Bonnie and Earl for supper and at five, Merle asked me if I was ready.  I said, 'ready for what?'  I thought it was Monday--all day."
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This makes me sad!!!

Hip Hip Hooray!

I can't explain how great I feel today!

I think I found the one new med that was causing all my problems.  Didn't take it yesterday and today, I have not been wobbley or disoriented and only a bit dizzy and I know that is from the water pill.

I researched that new med--Clonidine.  It helps lower BP, but it is also used for ADHD, anxiety, to help people stop addictions, etc.  So, it is also an anti-psychotic med and I sure as heck don't need that.  I recognized my symptoms because they were exactly like the ones I had when a doc put me on Seroquil and Effexor and when I tried Chantix years ago.  I was falling down, having mini seizures.

I already take an anti-depressant, anti-anxiety med, I sure didn't need another one messing up my head.

My BP has been so good today--in the 130-140 ranges with diastolic in the mid 50's.  While my pulse rate is still in the 40's low 50's--it's been that way for two years now.

You should see the report I have kept and giving to the doc.  He will see exactly every med I took, when I took it, my BP every 4 hours and what I felt like each day.

I'm a good guinea pig!!!
==================
Dar was over today and I did not take my BP after she left because I was scared it would be way high.

She walked in and said, "Are you all right?"

I said, "No!"

and she said, "Me either.  I went over to tell my brother and sister-in-law goodbye, but they had left at 7:00 this morning.  My other sister-in-law told me that they said they were going to leave before I got there because they were afraid I'd get hysterical.  Well, I got hysterical all right, but it was because I didn't get to say good-bye.  Daddy is leaving on the 13th, my birthday and then...I will be all alone."

"Sorry."

"I just don't think I am going to be able to take it!!!"

"Good thing you have a job to keep you occupied."

...and the rest was all about her.  She didn't come over to check on me.  She came over to dump on me.  Once again--

but--I don't care.  I watched my soap, did the laundry and worked on my How To book the rest of the afternoon.

Then I watched an hour of the riots in Baltimore.  I swear those people act like ignorant savages.  They don't fear the authorities anymore and the cops are so scared of being sued, they don't do their jobs.

30 years ago, while visiting a friend in Baltimore, I saw how unreasonable the police could be to blacks--because I was with one, in a group of blacks that weren't doing a thing.  Now, they've killed this kid because they arrested him for "making eye contact" with them?  Similar to what it was like 30 years ago, so I know t his police brutality has gone on there for a long time.

But now, these damn black kids think they are entitled to loot and steal and burn and throw rocks at the cops?

Turn a water cannon on them!  Shoot them with rubber bullets.  Make them a bit scared so they will think next time.

This is a no win situation in our country and I place the blame for it squarely on the person who lives in the White House.  He has empowered them to think they can get away with this crap--telling them, "that boy could have been my son" and Sharpton and all the rest of the race baiters!

Dear Dr. King, God bless him,  must be spinning in his grave!!!

Hello!

Toughest six days I've had in a long time.  BUT--I think I am finally settling in and I feel much better today.  I have switched around the new meds--like taking one at a different time of day, and splitting one in half and taking 1/2 at 8:00 and the other 1/2 at noon.  Yes--self diagnosing and medicating, but I have researched these meds and I am doing the same thing the doc would do.

My blood pressure is reasonable now..and my pulse rate has stabilized into the 40's range, which is still too low, but I can live with it.

I kid you not--I've have been through some interesting things.  Not only dizziness, and a mild seizure thingie, but hallucinations and hearing voices.  Really.

Friday, I came out of the bathroom and headed to my chair.  About half-way there, I thought I was going to pass out.  When I got to the chair, I put my hand on the arm and sat down on the box next too it.  I looked at the chair and couldn't remember exactly what it was or how to get on it.  Scary--thought I had had a T.I.A.

I was sitting in this computer room and saw a bright red, blue and yellow plastic ball rolling down the street out in front.  I stood up to get a better look and there was no ball there.  Another time I saw a man walking down the street in front, but when I looked out the window, there was no one.

I tried to heat up a bowl of Chili in the microwave and couldn't remember how.  I decided to put it back in the refrigerator, but later when I went to get it to try again, it wasn't in the frig.  I thought maybe I had eaten it after all, but I started opening cupboards and the stove and...found it on the top rack in the dishwasher!

I thought I had had a stroke or Alzheimer's had set in fast!!

I canceled all my appointments for two weeks, because I certainly can't drive.  I will go into the doc's office on Tuesday morning to get blood drawn to see how my Potassium level is,  I have a regular appointment with him on May 7th, hope to have this figured out by then.

Sorry I couldn't post much as my eyes were very blurry and I couldn't remember some words.
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I am feeling better and today, went outside and looked at all my gardens and set up my porch railing planters to get ready to plant in a couple of weeks.

I did get something accomplished, as I have mostly sat in my recliner for the past week.  I got my fifth quilt done to go into the great grandbabies box of quilts.

I think I need a new crochet project--kind of tired of cross stitching.

What?

My blood pressure is down, but the new meds are making me wonder--who am I and where am I?

Such a disoriented feeling in my head.  I stagger when I walk.  

I get up take my blood pressure, take my meds and go back to bed for an hour.

I get up, take my blood pressure, eat, watch my soap and take a nap for an hour.

I wake up, take my blood pressure, stare out the window, eat, watch TV, take my meds, go to bed.

BUT--my blood pressure IS down.