title explained

Onward and upward! something that you say in order to encourage someone to forget an unpleasant experience or failure and to think about the future instead and move forward.

My e-mail: jjmiller6213@comcast.net

Monday, September 2, 2013

~~A Couple Days Rolled Into One~~

Today's high temperature was: 72 degrees
Today's humidity was:   34%
Sunny, nice breeze, nice and cool.
My kind of weather!!!!!

======================================

Sunday--------------I do like September.  I like October a lot better--sunny days, a bit of warmth every now and then--beautifully hued leaves.  I like cutting back and cleaning up my garden too.  So many plants overgrown--dead leaves--dead, scraggly bud thingies on the lilies.  It looks really bare when I am done, but super neat.  Buttoned down for the winter and surely to bloom again next March/April  I have a lot of spring bulbs coming this month.  I put sticks in my gardens where there was sparse or missing Tulips/Daffodils, so when I cut back the gardens, I will see where those sticks are and..."stick" a bulb in there :-)

Merle didn't feel up to going to church--he picked up a cold virus while he was in hospital--so Pearl rode in with me.  She likes to sit in the 3rd row from the back.  I like to sit in the 5th row from the front.  I decided to sit with her yesterday, as she so hates sitting up near the front.  What a different perspective!! When we stood to sing the first hymn, I realized how very tall I am.  Everyone in front of me, is shorter then me.  We had a lovely young woman sing some special music yesterday--clear, nice voice--none of that vibrato crap. It was hard not to be distracted,  way back there, especially when the three old ladies (my age) two rows behind us, talked through the whole thing!!!  I so wanted to turn and tell them, "Sh-hh," but I didn't.  Pearl knows them--high school friends, and she turned and looked at them and they kind of quieted down, but...
I felt completely detached from the entire service.  We went in a side door, directly into the sanctuary and left the same way.  No going through the "shaking hands" line to greet the minister.

I have a real problem with the people in this church.  Granted--I haven't attended church regularly, since I moved here, so things may have changed, but--man are they ever noisy!  I was taught that went we entered the Sanctuary, we were to be quiet.  Sit down, meditate, pray, get in a quiet attitude so we were ready to hear what God had to tell us during the service.  Now--the people come in, laughing, talking, walking back and forth to greet others--which to me, is ridiculous, because after the first hymn we have the "welcome and greeting" of everyone around us.  OR, you can talk to your friends before or after the service--coffee hour--whatever.

My sister says, "back then, we believed that the Sanctuary was where God was present.  We entered into the presence of God in a quiet, prayerful, reverent manner.  Now, we know--God is present everywhere--the hallway, the dining room.  The Sanctuary is just another room where He is."  In her church, they have a video screen up in front (I hate those things) and it starts a sort of countdown at 30 seconds before the service begins.  People get quieter and quieter.  Then the bells are rung and in walks the acolytes-minister-choir.

In our church, the people keep talking.  The bells are rung.  The organist starts playing the processional music, the acolytes walk in and light the candles on the alter, the minister, lay person reader, behind and still--the people keep chatting.  The minister sometimes seems to have to shout, "GOOD MORNING!  PLEASE STAND AND SING OUR FIRST HYMN--"Be Still My Soul."  Then people sort of quiet down.  Drives me absolutely NUTZ!!!
==============================
Remember Pearl and her land-line phone she bought purposefully to get the cable company bundle?  And then the phone didn't work, so she called Comcast and they told her, "Something is wrong with your phone."  So, I brought it home and plugged it into my phone jack and it worked perfectly.  Remember that?

So--now she is going to call Comcast and tell them to come out ($75.00) and fix her phone.  I told her, "Your phone is fine.  It works great."

"Then--why doesn't it work?  They did something to it."

"No they didn't.  The only thing they did was hook it up to the modem.  What they meant was, your phone line--FROM OUTSIDE TO YOUR PHONE JACK isn't working."

"Well, they told me it did work, but...now it doesn't.  This damn computer stuff drives me crazy."

"Okay...."

"No--I don't want to hear it.  I have a headache."

"Sh-hh.  Take a deep breath.  Relax.       What Comcast meant was................the...let's call it...your phone line from the phone TO the modem works just fine.  Okay?  Now...the phone line from the other end of your phone that goes into the little outlet thingie on your wall--behind your bed?  That is the line that doesn't work.  It is the line that is connected to the phone wires outside your house.  Comcast has nothing to do with that.  You would have to call ATT or whomever around here supplies the phone service--yes, ATT."

"But, I had ATT for my phone, Internet and TV and I called to cancel them.,...so they won't come back out."

"Okay--solution?  Call Comcast and tell them to take your phone off the bundle and just have TV and Internet connection with them."

"But, then they will charge me more!"

"Okay--Pearl--breathe..........................  You don't use your land-line phone because you have a cell phone. You are NOW paying for TV, Internet and phone--and yes, it is cheaper to have all three bundled together...if you are using all three.  BUT, if you take off your phone, your price, overall won't go up...you will only be paying for TV and Internet and your total bill will be cheaper for just those two items.  It might cost more for TV and it might cost more for Internet--for each item, but......your TOTAL bill will be cheaper."

"I don't get it.  I think you're wrong!"

<sigh>  

"Let's say your TV hook-up costs, fifty dollars a month.  Your Internet hook-up costs forty dollars a month and your phone costs fifty dollars a month."

"Well, it's not that much. My TV is more and the phone is less and.........."

"I know--we are just using hypothetical numbers here. So--your bill would be one hundred forty dollars if you bundle all three.  Now--if you take the phone off, and only bundle two--your TV is going up to seventy-five dollars a month and your Internet is going up to forty-five.  Much more then before when they were bundled."

"Oh...kay."

"So add that up--seventy five and forty-five--how much is that?"

"Ah---one hundred twenty?"

"Yes!  So see your total bill will be less with just two bundled."

"But--they didn't charge me fifty dollars a month for my phone. I think you've figured wrong."

GOOD GRIEF!!!!!  

"Okay, call Comcast and just ask them.  Ask them if you take off your phone and just have TV and Internet, what your TOTAL bill will be.  Not what each item will be, but your TOTAL bill, because that is really all you care about, right?"

Now I had a headache and had to go home!

It's like trying to explain calculus to a three year old--she just doesn't get it AND with her memory issues, it makes it very difficult.

I do NOT want to be "teacher of the world,", but she keeps getting me involved and wants to know--or not.  I have no clue anymore!!!
===============================
So, I came home and called Pammie and she was washing walls and steam cleaning her carpets and rearranging furniture and making her bedroom upstairs, instead of downstairs and...she was having a ball!!

"Momma---I just love it!!  Do you realize that this is the first time in my life I have lived alone?  It is so nice to do whatever I want to and not have somebody standing over my shoulder and saying, "You aren't doing that right!"  It is so nice to take my shower and be able to walk nude from the bathroom to the bedroom, without someone making unflattering comments.  I love sleeping in the nude and I haven't been able to do that in years.  Oh, Momma--I am loving this!!"  :-)

Of course you are my Dear.  There is nothing like taking the huge rotten, heavy, pushing you down mountain, off your back/mind/soul!!
======================

I don't know if any of you read the Cedar Cove series of books, written by Debbie Macomber.  I had all of them, read the, Susan read them, Pearl read them, Dar read them, Jackie read them.  We all were anticipating watching the movie on the Hallmark Channel and..........we are all very disappointed in said movie.  If we hadn't read the books, it probably would be just a good movie to us, but---they leave out  whole chunks of the books that "we" think was needed to make the story line flow better and, they add stuff that wasn't in the books and confuse us so we have to call each other and say, "Do you remember that being in the books, because I don't?"  Oh well--creative license.
=============================


"MOM--I was sleeping!  You aren't going to post this on Face Book, are you?"
"No, Buddy.  On my blog though."
  

"I'm so embarrassed!"
=========================================================


Monday--------------------someone said it was a Holiday?  

I keep hearing military music and fireworks--I don't think it is a military holiday like 4th of July or Memorial Day, so---I am not impressed.  Then I heard someone say, "It's the last day of summer."  Ah--I don't think so.  Summer ends on September 20th, and we have lots of warm, sunny days in October, so...........

All I know--it is the day when I swap out my white purse for my dark one.  I put away my white shorts, jeans and sandals, until Memorial Day, because----I live by Rule #3.  "If you live above the Mason-Dixon line, you don't wear white after Labor Day."  Yes--I know that is an old fashioned rule, but then....so am I.
==========================
My sister and Chuck stopped in on their way to a short day-long road trip to--wherever the road takes them.  They brought me, 6 ears of sweet corn, out of their garden this morning, and 4 lovely tomatoes.  Chuck sawed off the dead branches on one of my Rose of Sharon bushes, and dug up two nice clumps of our Mother's Lemon Lily and Rudbeckia to transplant.  They have a large stone at the end of their driveway--at one time it had an iron ring in the top and was made for hitching a horse.  They are going to plant the Brown-Eyed-Susan's in front of that stone, so Susan won't have to plant annuals there--it will be a stunning vignette!!!
Chuck is going to get his tractor, with the front loader scoop, get behind the
rock and push it up straight.  Won't it be pretty with the Hosta and Rudbeckia?

Then, after they left, I went down to Merle and Pearl's.  I had tried to call her cell phone and it said I had the wrong number. I also wanted to take them some ears of fresh sweet corn and a a schedule of MSU and UofM football games I had printed out for Merle.

She has a new cell  phone!!!!!  One of those smart ones!!  I think it's a bit too large to carry in her jeans pocket, but the thing will do it all. Internet, games, e-mail...it even makes and receives phone calls!!!!!---when you figure out how it works--which will be another saga in itself!!

You know what's so great about this phone?  I don't know a thing about it or how to work it, so.....................I'm off the hook as "teacher" this time.

Oh--the reason her cell phone would not receive calls?  She didn't call her phone provider and tell them she had a different phone and thus, more money, and they disconnected her. She also could not make any outgoing calls, but she hadn't realized that as yet. 

Oh My!!

She said, "You told me my land-line was working...and it's not."

"Do we have to go through all that again?"

"Yes.  I want to know why it's not working!  If it works at your house, why doesn't it work here."

"I told you--the phone line is not working."

"But it is.  I have it plugged into the modem and all the lights are on, but the phone still has no dial tone."

Aha--I have an idea.

"Where do you have it plugged in?"  (Even though I knew full well.)

"Back in the bedroom--come here--I'll show you."

So down the hall we stagger.

There is her "purposefully purchased land-line phone just so she (thought) it would help get cheaper bundle"--she picked it up and handed it to me.  No dial tone.

"See, I told you.  It's the phone.  It won't work here.  I think maybe when you carried it to your house, a wire inside got put back in place and then when you carried it back here, the wire got disconnected again."

<sigh>

I put my finger under the line from phone to modem and said, "See--this is connected to the modem.  Comcast is telling you that this wire is fine--it is working.  "Then I picked up the line that went from her phone into the phone jack on the wall.  "This is the line that isn't working. That's why Comcast told you there was something wrong with your phone."

I saw a glimmer of understanding in her eyes.

"Do you have another wall outlet---phone jack for a phone...somewhere in the house?"

"Yes, there is one in the living room."

So, down the hall we staggered again.

She pointed to where the jack was and I plugged in her phone and held it out to her.

"I has no dial tone," she said.

"Ah ha!"  I exclaimed.  "That means that the phone line, coming in from the outside of the house, the line connected to the phone company, is not working.  It is not hooked up, or not connected."

Then I saw the bright light of full understanding come to her face.

She turned to Merle, sitting in his chair.  Merle!  The phone line outside, the one that comes off the pole, is the one that isn't working!"

"Yeah, I know," he says.

I thought she was going to throw the phone at his head.

"Why isn't it hooked up to the house?" asks Pearl.

Merle put his newspaper down, switched the toothpick in his mouth to the other side and said, in his slow way, "The wire from the pole to the house IS hooked up.  We didn't need an inside phone, so we never called ATT to have the line connected."  Back to reading his newspaper.

"Well...I'm calling ATT tomorrow and have it connected!"

That's when I saw Merle grimace and I said, "You don't use this phone, right?"

"No," she said.

"Then, why don't you call Comcast and have them take it off your bundle.  Your total bill will be cheaper every month."

"Okay.  I'm going to do just that, tomorrow!"


AT LAST!!!!!!!!!!!
===========================

I got home and my sister called and said, "I am calling you from Hell!"

"Anyone there that you know?"

"Yeah--I think I just saw Dad going around the........never mind.  That's not nice!  No--we are in Hell---Hell, Michigan!  Remember when Daddy and Mother brought us here?"

"Yes."

"There was a sign that said, "Welcome to Hell" and it had little devil's with pitchforks on each corner of the sign?"

"Yes."

"Well, now it has a regular town name sign like all the signs in Michigan.  Green and white."

"Well...you can't be in hell, or the sign would be maize and blue!"

"Bawhahaha," she laughs.

"No--we are not in Ann Arbor!  Anyway, there is only three buildings in Hell now.  A bar and two stores.  So disappointing."

"Well...we all knew that hell would disappear at some moment in time.  Maybe this is a prophetic sign?
======================================


Remember this~~~


...and when I massacred them?


Today--new bright green growth.
 See that tiny woman in the background?  She is trying to trim her 7' bushes
with a small handle cutter--one branch at a time.
I am going there in the morning with my electric hedge trimmers and get 'er done!








"ZZ-zz


MOM--I was sleeping!  You aren't going to post this on Face Book are you?"
"No, Maggie--on my blog"


"I am so embarrassed!"





"Psst--Buddy, Mom said she was going to post a picture of us on her blog"
"Yeah--I know."
"I'm so pretty.  Everyone will comment how pretty I am.  Everyone will laugh at how fat YOU are!"


"Nobody is going to laugh!  Everyone knows I am her favorite...and...
quit calling me fat!"


See ya................












Saturday, August 31, 2013

A Day In The Life.....

Today's high temperature was: 79 degrees
Today's humidity was:   62%
Go Away!!!

=============================================

Very disappointed in the tender loin filet I purchased.  I grilled it on my George Foreman electric grill--which did a great job of cooking it, but.....it has no taste.  I have found this out recently.  Beef just doesn't have the flavor it use to.  Maybe it's my taste buds dying off, but...I think it is more that I am spoiled.  I always had 1/4 beef in my freezer--cut just the way I wanted it--from when my Daddy had an animal butchered.  It was wonderful.  Four years ago, Fred and I both ordered a nice sirloin at Applebee's--tough, tasteless.  I had a Whopper a couple of months ago, craving that great taste I remembered--grey meat, tasteless.  I should have taken the $20.00 left on my Outback gift card and just got a carry out of the Victoria Filet Mignon, baked potato and salad.  I would have enjoyed that $20.00 more then what I spent for this tenderloin.  BLECH!!

I have noticed a lot of my favorite things taste all wrong.  Potato chips, still salty, but not as tasty.  I think it is because now, the government demands things like that have all trans-fat removed.  The only real tasty hunk of beef nowadays, is from a GOOD restaurant where they inject it with tastiness before they cook it.  Wonder what's in that stuff?
==============================
Didn't do much today.  I sold another box of books on E-Bay (that makes 3 = over $100.00) and had to wait for the mail lady to pick them up.  Then ran up to Brighton to Cartridge World--AGAIN!  Just there Thursday to buy a color and black inkjet cartridge.  I printed out two pages of a letter, with pictures of Fred's grave stone to send to his kids==total 9 pages, and two pages with the pix of his and mine, to put in my scrapbook and the dang color cartridge was empty?  I wonder if it was completely full to begin with?  When I got to the store, I asked the clerk if she could weigh it because it seemed to have run out too quickly.  Sure enough--It was more then 1/2 full, but had "died" electronically.  So I hummed Taps and she laughed and  gave me a new one--free.  They are real good about things like that--plus, I give them a lot of referrals and business.
============================

I stitched on Evan's Elmo pillow.  I had a hard time deciding on what color he is suppose to be.  Some images show him as red, others as orange.  Pammie told me that Evan's favorite color is orange--he always wants to pick out his orange t-shirt to wear, so---creative license enabled, I put an orange strand of floss with a red strand and I think it is going to work.  Evan likes orange, so his Elmo will be orangeish.

I cross stitch the grand kids "prayer blessing poem acrostic" and give to them, framed, on their first birthday.

Sample: In case you don't know what an acrostic is:  The letters to their name goes down the left side, with a poem attached.  Not too hard, except for Alexander--what in the heck word starts with "X" ?

Alexander Chaston

A  lmighty God, to thee we pray,
L  ead our dear boy in your way.
E  ver keep him free from strife,
X  tend to him a happy life.
A  lways keep him safe from harm,
N  estled in your loving arms.
D  reams so peaceful every night,
E  very day sunny and bright,
R  eveal to him what’s good and right.

C  ourage to him as he grows,
H  ealthy, strong and free from woes.
A  ngels send to guard his ways,
S  tay nearby through all his days.
T  ruthful may he always be,
O  pen and kind to those in need,
N  othing but love in all his deeds.                                                                     
          In Jesus name, Amen.


EVAN ERIC

E  ternal Father, we ask of thee,
V  aliant may his whole life be.
A  lways keep him safe from harm
N  estled in your loving arms.

E  ncourage him to live your way,
R  each out and protect him every day.
I  nspire him from up above,
C over him always with your love.
                                In Jesus name, Amen

===============
ANDREW CHRISTOPHER

A   lmighty God, to thee we pray,
N   ear our dear boy closely stay.
D   raw your angels near to keep,
R   ound him as he gently sleeps.
E   ver keep him safe each day,
W  hile he goes about his play.

 C   over him with your love,
H   old him safe from up above.
R   escue him in times of need,
I   nspire him to live your creed.
S   tay nearby throughout his life,
T   o keep him free from any strife.
O  pen up a future bright,
P   leasing to all in your sight.
H   old him close in time of fears,
E   ver guard him through the years,
R   everently, we ask this of you
           In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
===========
ELISE ANN  

E   ternal Father, to thee we pray,
L   ead our sweet girl in your way.
I    n your arms, secure and warm,
S   afely keep her from all harm.
E   ver may her days be bright,
  
A   always peaceful sleep at night.
N   ear to her stay, so she knows,
N   othing but love as she grows.

           In Jesus’ name, Amen.

As  you can see, Evan's and Elise' were much easier.  I almost chocked when Karen told me she had named her last child: MADELEINE SOPHIA.  Then Jen got in the habit with long names.  GEESH!!
===============

On their second birthday, I always give them a small pillow with whatever "thing" they are into at the time.

This was Andrew's:

Elise's. because it looked like her.

and I did this picture when she was 4, because it looked like a portrait of her.


Alex's pillow as he was into Match Box vehicles.


 I just happened to find this pattern, free on-line.  
Evan's Elmo
==========================================================

When I was in town, I stopped at the gas station to get a bag of chips.  I got eye-humped again!!!  There was an old guy pumping gas into his truck (old guys are the only ones that notice me anymore) and as I strode by I saw him turn his head to look at me.  I had on my skinny jeans (because all my shorts were in the washing machine) and I was striding along with my long legs as I normally do.  It probably wasn't my jeans, but my new, lifter-upper bra, that puts the girls back, close to where they belong.  It isn't perfect, but at least I don't look like I have two huge tumors on my waist!

What was funny is, he was unaware that I could see his reflection in the glass front of the store.  He was watching me and was nodding his head(?)  I have no idea what that means, but I smiled to myself.  Eye-humping--a non-contact entertainment--which is the only kind I care to take part in anyhow!!


When I got home, I went outside to get my handy-dandy snaky hose to water, and found more Stink Horn Mushrooms.


I had never seen these until last late summer.  I think the spores
may have been in the mulch the kids put on my island garden, last year?


Then, I decided to fill up the bird feeders.  Not many of the summer birds around.  Baltimore Orioles, I haven't seen or heard in a couple months.  I am getting Cardinals, Woodpeckers, Chick-A-Dee, Titmice and Nuthatch.


and of course, the Hummingbird's still come around.




I came in and decided it might be a good day to empty and wash out the cat litter box.  I have a rather large one to accommodate Buddy.  I also scrubbed down the wall behind it.  Can't get down on my knees and crawl under the counter table, so I sprayed with Fantastic and then used my floor mop to reach under and scrub away.  "Necessity is the mother of invention."

I scooped out all the "bad" litter into a plastic bag, as normal.  Then I got a Glad Super Tuff-Strength of Steel, kitchen garbage bag and scooped the rest out--I could not lift the box to dump the remaining litter--so heavy.  When it was empty, I hauled it out to the outside hose.  Sprayed it with Fantastic and let it set.  Scrubbed it with my toilet brush, rinsed and rinsed and rinsed.  Then filled it with water and put some bleach in it.  Rinsed and rinsed and rinsed and........let it set in the sun to dry, while I scrubbed the wall.  I was so afraid that they'd need to go potty and no bathroom for them.  Buddy did look a little worried.

All this was accomplished, making my back hurt like sin!!  I got it back inside, dried it off with an old towel and filled it with new litter.   20# of new litter, which also made my back scream when I tried to pick it up and dump it into the box.  But all is well.

It is one of those long plastic storage boxes to use under a bed.  It has wheels on it, so it is easy to pull out to clean.  I also vacuumed the carpeting while it was drying.

Wall is all scrubbed, as is the box, back in place.

Buddy seems to approve.

I no more got sat down at the computer and....he climbed in and did his thing.


.See ya later!!!















...and The Days Dwindle Down--To A Precious Few....

Today's high temperature was: 87 degrees
Today's humidity was:  65%
Sunny all day--nice breeze, but still too hot!
Rain tonight--all around us, but not here.
=====================================================
I have been thinking about this all week.

There is an older woman--mid-seventies.  She lives all alone.  Her children do not stop in often to visit her.  She rarely sees her grandchildren--they are a distance away.  When she does see them, she isn't very nice to them--then, realizing she wasn't very nice, she tries to make it up to them, hoping the visit will end with them only remembering the good times with Granny.  

This woman complains about everything!  If her daughter offers to drive her to a family function, the woman complains the entire long drive.  She didn't really want to go.  Stop the car.  Let her out, she wants to go back home.  No, never mind, she'll go, but her family doesn't care about her.  She is superfluous--no one in the family would even miss her if she wasn't there.   On and on and on she rants. She weeps.  She is very sad. She is very angry. 

Afterwards, she realizes that she had a pretty good time.  Now she remembers the way she acted.  Some of the weird things she said.  She feels bad.  She calls and apologizes.  She thinks she might be losing her mind.

Now that she is home, home where she is in control.  Now that she has time to think.

Her problem?  She has way too much time to think.  What is there for her to do in life?  Sit and watch television--think about her past.  All the hurts she has had in her life.  She may lash out at people now, for those past hurts, even though they aren't the ones who caused the hurt.  She may feel guilty about her past life.  She would never admit it, because she can't allow herself to admit it--even in her own mind.  

She is divorced once or twice--rotten, damn men!!!  There is a niggle.  She wonders if the divorce was her fault?  No--it is not possible--she was a good wife--HE was the rotten one--surely it has to be that way, in her mind.

She has few visitors.  She is very lonely.  She feels that death is only a few short months away and she knows that and it makes her scared and even more lonely.  Just get it over with.  Then she won't have to think. Everyone in her family will feel a lot better with her gone.

It's difficult to go anywhere.  Perhaps she is in pain from arthritis.  She doesn't move around very much so the arthritis gets even worse.  It gets too noisy at the family functions.  She may be hard of hearing and that makes conversations even harder. Too much background noise for her to even hear what the person next to her is saying.  

She is filled with fear.  She is disappointed in her life.  She can't do a thing about anything, anymore. There is nothing to look forward to.  No one cares--they look at her in a disparaging way.  She is a nasty, old bitch.  She can't remember things at times.  This frightens her too. Sometimes she gets very confused.  

People leave her alone because she is so nasty.  She gets nastier because she is alone so much of the time. When family does come to her house, she sees it in their eyes.  They aren't there just to sit and chat for awhile.  They are there out of a feeling of obligation.--they have to take her to an appointment.  They have to check up on her.  Wouldn't it be nice if they just came to simply visit--play a game of cards--watch a movie on TV with her.

This is much the way I would have felt about that woman when I was in my 40's-50's.  A pain in the neck that I didn't want to be around, didn't want to feel obligated too, remembered how nasty she had been to me, tried to figure out how I could avoid her.
===================

Now, I am the age of this woman.  NO--I AM NOT this woman, but all of a sudden, I understand her!

I too have felt, the last year, that something was very wrong with me--my thinking--the things I have uttered, or the way I have acted, or reacted.  At times, it has taken very bit of strength I had to go to a family function.  I'd just end up sitting in a chair in the living room and not really feel included--because I didn't interact with others.  When invited to go to a function--it was so hard.  It hurt so bad to have to walk up stairs to get to a ball game, or sit for a long period of time during a band concert or ballet performance.  When it was over, I did not want to go out to supper--yes, I was hungry, but, once again, I would have to sit on a hard chair, wait for the food, too much noise--I just wanted to come back home.  I was so tired--I wanted to sit down, put my feet up, be quiet.

After certain occasions, I remembered weird statements I had made.  At times, tears came into my eyes for no reason.  I felt very sorry for myself and no one understood--nor did they want to hear any of my complaints--they didn't really care.  Try to be upbeat and friendly and funny and----be exhausted in a couple of hours for the trying.  It use to come naturally, now it was forced. Yet--if I was quiet, people wondered what was wrong. 

I was scared that I was losing my mind--it felt that way sometimes.  I couldn't remember who was at the party--sometimes. Couldn't remember whom I had spoken with--sometimes, but, I always could remember the statements I made or the weird thing I did--which in turn, just made me want to stay away from people so I wouldn't embarrass myself again and again and again!!!  I was so tired, all the time.  I was in pain, all the time.  Everything was an effort, all the time.  

I was not the person that I remembered being.  I wondered what had happened to that person.  Why did I act like I did now?  Why did I say stupid things--act weird?  What was wrong with me?  Perhaps I did have Alzheimer's and everyone knew except me?  Maybe my kids stayed away because I had done something awful to them in their lives and now...I couldn't remember what.  Maybe I needed to be institutionalized?  Maybe I needed shock treatments?

The only difference between this woman and me was, that I was able--ON MY OWN--to seek  help.  No one had to take me to an appointment with the shrink!  I wanted no one else to know--because I was trying so hard to keep control and pretend that my weirdness was only because I was still in a brain fog from grief or I was getting old and just a tad eccentric.

The only difference between this woman and me was, I am younger then she is and maybe a bit more independent, or stronger and I realized that something was not right.  I know she knows, what she is doing, how she is acting is not right--I know she does.  

I just wish she could get help.  I just wish she would get help. She's probably afraid too.  She may have had mental issues all her life and never received the help she needed.  I just wish she could before she does die and the only feeling her family will have is relief that the nasty mother/grandmother bitch is gone.  

OH--I am so sad because, honestly, with a some help from some meds, maybe a tiny bit of talk therapy--she and everyone else in her family would enjoy the years she has left.

I heard someone say, "You might get addicted to the meds."  I say, "At 70+ years--how many years are left? Who the Hell cares if we get addicted?  What difference does it make?  Better have a nice, calm, happy life with a smile on our face, then go through all the torment of mental illness for the rest of our days!"















Thursday, August 29, 2013

This and That and Nice Stuff

Today's high temperature was:  84 degrees
Today's humidity was: 68%
Sunny all day
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Up a little earlier--9:15 (because the lawn mowing guy was here and mowing under my bedroom window)  LOL

Took a shower as I was going to head back into Brighton.  I found out that Evan, who will be two on the 23rd of September, already has a tricycle--or 5.  As he is the youngest of four kids--he gets ALL the hand-me-downs.  One of the trikes, that he can't reach the pedals yet, is a lot like the one I purchased for him.  Sirens, lights, all that jazz.  So I will take this one back.  YAY--50.00 back in my bank account!!

Pammie said, "I thought you always made a pillow for the kids with their interests cross stitched on the front."

"I do, but Pammie, I haven't seen him in four months.  I have no idea what he likes!"  <sigh>

"Momma--he likes everything!!  Oh wait---every morning when we get dressed, he always wants his orange Elmo shirt.  When we sit down for his morning snack, he wants to watch Elmo.  You know he doesn't like TV at all, but he does like Elmo."

Okey Dokey then---so I had to run up to Michael's and get some Aida cloth and two skeins of floss.  I found a picture on the Internet--for a cross stitch pattern--free download.  (Have you noticed--you can find ANYTHING on the Internet?)  I thought Elmo was red, but the color on the pattern was kind of pinkish?  So I went into Google and typed in, "what color is Elmo" and up came pictures and said he was reddish orange.  (I just so happen to really love the Internet--the world's biggest encyclopedia!!!

Just as I was leaving, Dar came over.  She had a Howell Melon with her--so named because they are grown in this area and also to give the little city of Howell another reason to have a summer festival, just 6 weeks after the hot air balloon fest!  It's nothing but a muskmelon, but--it is the size of a watermelon!!  She gave me half.  It is the sweetest muskmelon I have ever tasted.  Should last me half a month to eat!!!!!

Michael's has moved and I found the store.  HUGE--right next to the JoAnn's store and Bed, Bath and Beyond.  Love it.  If I can't find it at Michael's I can just walk to JoAnn's!!  I got my cloth and the floss and then ran on up to the ink jet refill store and got me a color and a black one.

Came home, three minutes before my soap was to start.  Then after that, the Detroit Tigers were playing against Oakland for the last game in a 4 game series.  Oakland won the first three--which is not good as we are trying to win the American League title.  Last inning, 6-4, we are behind.  Dang it!!  Then we get a couple on base and my new favorite Tiger Torii Hunter comes up to bat and puts a walk off homer into the seats!!!  YAY.

I wanted to walk down to Pearl's, take back her phone and see how Merle was doing.  I saw her car was home.  On down I trotted and walked in.  Tiger, her nasty cat, ran out to greet me.  He bites everyone, including Merle and Pearl.  He however doesn't bite me.  Probably because I don't make any sudden moves at him, don't try to swoop him up in my arms, and let him come to me.  So we "talked" for a minute and I walked into the living room and....................there was Merle, sitting in his chair, reading the local paper.

He had the stress test this morning, both tread mill and injected Thallium and there is nothing wrong with his heart!!!  Great news!!  However, they want him to get to a cardiologist and get a Holter Monitor and wear it for a month!  AND GUESS WHAT??  They are going to Dr. Leonen, Fred's cardiologist!!!  (The doc I suggested they go to.)

His office is at the little hospital, 1.5 miles up the road.  I am so happy!!!  Dr. Leonen is fantastic--one of the top doggies at the BIG hospital in Ann Arbor, but comes to the Michigan Heart office here, twice a week.  He saved Fred's life! No doubt about it.  Fred loved him, as do I and I think Merle will too.  YAY!

Merle said there are three or four guys where he works that have A-Fib episodes often--monthly and the day Merle had his, he was sitting in the club house and drinking coffee, because it was raining outside.  He doesn't drink coffee at home, but that morning had 5 cups of coffee.  

I said, "Hm-mm.  Think all that caffeine might have kicked your heart rate up a bit, Bunky?"

"Might have." (He's a man of few words.)

Pearl is still angry at him that he didn't tell her when he had the other ones.

I told Merle, "Well, A-Fib is not life threatening.  Many people have it for years and take medicine for it.  It can cause a stroke if it goes unchecked however--so you get it all checked out and Dr. Leonen will get you  fixed up!!"
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I came home feeling really good about everything!!  I walked into my yard and put my garbage pail away and saw these:





Wanna know what they are called?  Are you sure?  

Dog Penis Mushrooms.  For obvious reasons, I suppose.  

They are said to be a delicacy to eat (UGH!!) and in Medieval England they were called Devil's Penis, because it look like the Devil was sticking his doohickey up through the earth from Hell.  LOL

They stink like a son-of-a-gun and are sometimes called Stink Horn.  I found this definition in the World's Largest Encyclopedia--otherwise called, The Internet!!

"This small member of the Phallaceae family emerges from an off-white egg-like fruiting body that lies half buried in leaf litter on the woodland floor. White mycelial cords (rhizomorphs), are often visible beneath this 'egg', which is 2–4 cm (0.8–1.6 in) high, and 1–2 cm (0.4–0.8 in) wide.[4] The 'egg' has a tough outer skin (peridium), which covers a gelatinous inner layer, which in turn protects the fully formed, but unexpanded fruiting body. When the ‘egg’ splits open the fungus expands rapidly (usually within a few hours), to its full height of 10–12 cm (4–5 in). It is around 1 cm (0.4 in) thick, and is either yellowish-white, yellow, or pale orange. The split egg is retained as a volva-like sack, at the base. The column is very fragile, pitted, and cylindrical. It has a pointed tip, and is usually curved. The tip is covered in the spore bearing matter (gleba) which is a dark olive-brown paste, and has a smell which is irresistible to insects. (These insects help distribute the spores on their bodies, and in their stomachs.) Beneath the spore mass the tip is dark orange. Although its smell is not as strong as the related common stinkhorn (Phallus impudicus), it has been described as smelling like cat feces."
That is your biology/botany/fungi lesson for the day.  Enjoy.
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As I was leaving for town, I got the mail out of my mail box.  There was a small envelope and it was from Jennifer.  I went to open it and then decided to wait.  Who knew what might be in it and if it was something snarky or bad--I didn't want to read it before I went shopping.

I just remembered it and opened it up.

When I was making sun catchesr, I had purchased a very large box of beads.  Some of those beads had glitter sparkles in them and they did not melt very well.  I gave the box to Pammie and asked if she would give it Elise to play with.  Pammie later told me that Elise was so excited to get them.  That made me feel good.




This was the note inside the small envelope.



I can't figure out if Elise wrote it or Jen--the handwriting looks like Jen's, but maybe so does Elise'. I wonder if Jen even told the kids that they wouldn't be seeing Mimi anymore because the note almost sounds like she wonders why she hasn't seen me all summer, but hopes to see me soon.   
I hope so too!!

I don't want to read anything into this, but I wonder--is the glacier melting?  Evan's birthday is in four weeks--are they having a party?  Is this to pave the way for me to be invited? On second 10th reading, it looks like Elise wrote it because Jen would not mis-spell forward (foward.)  Anyway, Jen knows, because she is the one who mailed it from her work office!!!

I can only hope and....continue to pray for reconciliation.
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I just remembered (11:00 p.m.) this is a holiday weekend here in the US.  So if any of you are doing that sort of thing--or whatever one does on a holiday weekend--we always stayed off the roads--be safe, have fun and next week--it is going to be much cooler here!  YAY!!