Golly Gosh!

It seems all I do lately on this here blog is catch up.  The time change or something.  By the time I come in here to post--it has been pitch black outside for hours and I am too tired.

Tuesday:  I took Pearl and she and I got our hair cut.  She went totally nutzy-cuckoo!  Had her hair cut almost as short as mine--real short in back.  I love it!!!  I was kind of worried about what Merle would say--and her daughter.  They are the two reasons she won't wear her new $300.00 glasses.

I kept telling her how attractive the new cut was.  "You even look younger!  I like how neat it looks and not hanging down on your collar."

On the ride home, she said,"I don't know what Merle is going to say."

"Who cares?  It's your hair.  You can wear it anyway you want.  Did he ask your permission before he started growing that awful, scraggly beard of his?"

"No!  Doesn't he look awful?"

"Yes.  If he gives you a hard time, tell him to go piss up a rope!"

Then an few minutes later, Pearl called me and invited me up for pizza they were having delivered.  Perfect!  I was out of food and tired.

I asked Merle, "Do you like Pearl's hair cut?"

"Ah...yeah...it's okay."

"Okay?  It's beautiful!  Her gorgeous pure white hair, looks thicker now and....so easy to take care of and neat."

"Well...yeah...I guess...she won't have to spend so much time in the bathroom in the morning."

Dar came over when I got home.  Oh my!  She is just the rudest individual I have ever met, I think.  Of course, she had to go into minute' detail about her father's visit and how wonderful it was and how he left her with five thousand dollars for his time there and how he is so funny (actually he's kind of senile) and how he likes to give out gold fifty cent pieces to everyone he meets.  (I never got one.)  and how it is just so funny and cute that he flirts with every woman he meets. (yeah--right).

She said, "It's just too bad that none of my neighbors seemed to want to go over and visit my Daddy and make his acquaintance.  Oh well, it's their loss."
(I felt no loss.)

Then, she took a breath and went right into a tirade about work and just how important she is to the company.

Another breath and she went into a story about re-finding her Podiatrist, that had left to set up an office in another town and how she hasn't gone to a foot doctor since he left and then she found out he's back in the area and she went in yesterday just to see him and make sure he was staying and told him how thrilled she was and he was the best and she needed an appointment ASAP, because, "Jack is the only one I trust to touch my feet!"  (gag me with a spoon!)

Then she got into something about how her mother and daddy were so mean to her when she was growing up and how that has affected her entire life, but now daddy loves her and just dotes on her and spoils her..........................yada, yada, yada.

Then, she asked me how I have been and when I went to answer her, she checked her Fit-Bit bracelet, her watch and her phone.

"Oh, oh.  I better take the long way home.  I haven't walked my required steps today."

and off she went.....................
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Today, I felt weak and sick, dizzy and tired, but--after my Soap, I got in the car and off I went.  Stopped at Tractor Supply and a nice young person loaded two 40# bags of bird seed on a cart and took them out and loaded them into my trunk for me.

Up to Wal-Mart to get a prescription filled and order my new glasses.  Then I walked the entire store to the tune of a heavy cart full of stuff.  (Only after I got home did I realize I had not bought myself any food.)  I was so weak and dizzy I felt like I was going to stumble and drop into a heap.  A nice young cart-boy pushed my cart out to my car and loaded all the heavy stuff into the trunk and back seat.

I was a mile down the road before I remembered I hadn't picked up my prescription.  Back to Wally World!  Park the car.  Walk back in.  Going to fall on my face!

Then on to get an oil change--didn't have a coupon, but they just took $7.00 off the total price for me.  A cute young Arab looking guy and I had a nice chat.  His hair was longish on top with a pony-tail that looked like a stubby tail on a dog, and the rest of his head is close cropped.  That was what our chat was about.

Then to the car wash next door where I got a half-price car wash because I had my sale receipt from the oil change place.

I drove home in a half stupor and called John to see if he could help me unload the car.  He said he was on his way to take a meal to the elderly couple, then he had church, but he'd stop by around eight-fifteen.  And he did!

That gave me a chance to eat something and I immediately started feeling better.  I am really bad about not eating breakfast and maybe only a cheese stick for lunch.  No wonder I was ready to drop dead!!!  I really need to change up my schedule and start eating cereal and milk and orange juice, when I first get up.

I had two pieces left of the small pineapple upside down cakes I made and I gave then to John.  He's making soup this weekend and promised to bring some over.  I really like that kid!!!

Now, it's 11:00, but of course it feels like midnight so I am going to bed.  So exhausted!
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My Maggie.  I think it is so precious how she sits on her bottom and puts her paws up on the window sill and watches the show outside.  Tonight it was her turn to take a nap on Mommy's recliner.

Clock Says 7:00am. Body Says 8:00am.

I don't care which clock time we use, I just wish they'd leave it at either DST or EST and not change it!  I can remember when it came to a vote here in Michigan it was voted down.  Congress put it through anyway.  And NO--it was not put through for the farmers--they hated the time changes.  It was pressure from the UAW--at least in this state.  The day shift workers wanted more daylight in the spring and summer, after they got off work.
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I thought of something last night, as I was falling asleep.  The day before my best friend died, right after I left the Hospice unit of the hospital, she told her daughter (Pam's age), "Keep an eye on Aunt Judy.  Make sure she is okay.  This is going to hit her hard."

Now--that's strange.  She knew of my penchant for not crying at funerals.  We had talked about it and she thought I was weird.  "You should mourn--right then.  Get it out and it will be easier to get over."  She knew this because she was there when my Mother died and I didn't cry at all and then, six weeks later I had a near breakdown.  I was with her a few years later when her Mother died, and Arlene bawled her eyes out, but seemed to recover quicker.

I don't know why.  I guess it was the way we were raised--my sister doesn't cry at funerals either--even when it was her own young son.  We cry in private, but never in public.  Something told to us when we were little about how the person has gone on to Heaven and if we cry, it means we are selfish for wanting to keep them here in pain and sickness.  Something like that.

I remember seeing my mother cry at her mother's grave side and I wondered what was wrong with her.  Why was she carrying on like that?  She never cried!

I didn't cry during Arlene's visitation or funeral either.  Comforting her children and I didn't want them to break down.  I went with Bethie, we sat together and walked out together.  I got to the casket, one more time, and I felt like I had been hit with a thunderbolt.  I broke down completely.  Couldn't walk.  Shaking, thought I was going to faint and remember being so embarrassed.  Thankfully, Arlene's little brother came over and helped me out to the foyer of the church or I would have fallen on the floor in a heap.

I drove out to the cemetery in the funeral procession, beeped my horn, as I always had, when we passed by her house.  I was perfectly fine.  Up close to the grave site.  Then it was over. People were moving away to go back to the church for the luncheon.

It hit me again.  I didn't want to leave her.  I wanted to open up the casket, shake her and tell her to wake up and come on.  I don't think I was even in my right mind.  I do remember knowing that I had to get up to the casket so I could touch it.  I hadn't had my second hip surgery and I could barely walk.  I remember that my cane kept sinking into the ground and I kind of stumbled to the casket and bent down and whispered to her and kissed the casket.

All this emotional display was so out of character for me.  People must have thought I was crazed.  I'm sure I embarrassed them. I know I embarrassed myself.  People perceive me to always be in control, tall and strong and comforting and there I was, being an obscene mess!  It was almost like I stood watching the woman, who looked like me, move about the scene.

I don't remember the rest of the day.  I did drive back to town and to the luncheon and I must have talked to people and I did drive all the way home, but for the life of me, the next day I didn't remember any of that part.

Weird.
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74 degrees here on this lovely Indian Summer day.  I got my leaves all taken up and my lawn's last mowing.  

Then a nice walk and visited Pearl.
Laundry all done.

A troubling phone call from Pammie.  Tomorrow is her last day working for Jennifer.  She's been doing that job for a decade.  Jen put Evan in Montessori School three days a week.  Husband is still not working, so he can hold down the fort.  They don't need Pammie anymore. (They can't afford Pammie anymore).

She does have an interview at the Brighton Meijer's store tomorrow.  The same one where Dar works.  I will NOT tell Dar.

All Saints Day

I am probably the only one in this group that is not a fan of Halloween!  Not only am I not a fan, I truly dislike it.

Of course, my neighbors the Wiccans, say they love it--were even married on Halloween--in a cemetery no less--2 years ago.  What I have noticed, their porch light is NEVER on, Halloween evening/night.  They love Halloween, but they don't like little Trick or Treaters?

This neighbor, I will call her Tami, because she insists everyone call her Tamara, has started proudly wearing a Pentagram necklace.  She is now on Face Book, ranting and raving and complaining that her supervisor and people at work who used to like her, don't seem to like her as much and treat her differently because of the necklace.

She is one of those people that, when she gets something into her head, especially something controversial, she makes a HUGE deal about it.  Shoves it in people's faces.  Preaches at them about her new belief system or her new enlightenment or--whatever.  I remember three years ago when she was going to the Seventh Day Adventist church, she informed me that I was going to church on the wrong day.  That everyone knew that God said to rest on the seventh day--to keep the Sabbath day holy.

She is also the kind of person who firmly states that she doesn't care what anyone thinks about or says about her.  So, I asked, "Why does this bother you?"

"Because they were nice to me and now they're not!  This necklace doesn't define who I am."

"Sure it does.  Perception is everything.  People will perceive the kind of person you are by what you wear, how clean you are, the way you talk.  You have a blue cast on your arm with a big yellow M.  People see that and know you are a Michigan fan.  If you wear a message T-shirt from the Humane Society, they know you like animals.  You wear a Pentagram necklace, and they know you are a witch."

"Well, I'd just like to explain to her what being a Wiccan means."

"Why?"

"So she would understand."

"She doesn't want to understand,  She isn't interested...any more than you are when your Baptist brother tells you that you are a pagan heathen and going to Hell."

"I don't like being judged."

"You said you didn't care what they thought or said about you."

"But---it just isn't right!"

"Reality check, Tami.  Correct or not--right or wrong--such is life.  She probably thinks you boil frogs in a cauldron.  You wear the necklace because you want people to ask what it is so you can promote your new belief.  If you don't like their perception, then don't wear the necklace.  If you don't care what they think, then wear it and go along with your life.  Or wear a cross necklace with it and really confuse them."
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I like today better.  All Saints Day.  A day of prayer for all the Saints who are in Heaven.  Not to be confused with All Soul's Day (tomorrow) a day of prayer for those who have died and not yet reached Heaven.  I suppose those would be the souls in Purgatory?

Actually, I know very little about any of this and I don't believe in Purgatory and I don't pray for people who have died.  I always thought you had your choice to make before your last breath and no amount of people praying afterwards was going to change that.

I guess I would instead prefer to think of all the people I know who have died in the last year and pray for their families to find comfort and peace.

Hm-mm, perhaps I have just invented a new religious day?  What can I call it?
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I decided that instead of crocheting or knitting on Chris' projects today, I would cross stitch--and I did, for about half an hour.  I guess I just can't stay away from the knitting and crochet!!

I also worked on printing out more pages for my genealogy book--it appears now my sister and her son would like one, so that means 7 instead of the 5.  The special paper I use from Staples is very costly--39.99 for a box of 150 sheets.  I know that at one time I only paid $20.00 and I told the people at Staples, but they said that wasn't the correct price.  So today, I just happened to be on-line at Staples and guess what?  $20.00 a box through November 14th.  I ordered two boxes and am quite proud of myself.  Why did I go look on-line?  I have no idea.  Just messing around and there it was.  Obviously a God Whisper!!
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Today is also my best friend Arlene's birthday.  She would have been 76 today--gone 3.5 years.  It's difficult for me to describe our relationship.  We met on the first day of Kindergarten.  Close, like a sister?  Nope.  Closer than that.  It's like she was part of me--she knew what I was going to say before I said it.  Soul Mate?  I guess.   That's why, since she died, I just can't get over the emptiness I feel.  It's like I am missing part of myself.  A chunk of my heart or a limb or---something.  Truth be told, I think of her more often than I do Fred--or my Mother--or my grandma.  I keep feeling like if I just wait a tiny bit more, she will call on the phone or I will see her driving up to my house.

(My goodness.  I sure was fat three years ago.  Look at my chubby face!  That was the day before she died.)

Cold, Rainy Day.

I decided, after having the ingredients for two weeks, I oughta make these today.

Put them in bigger muffin tin so I could use a whole pineapple slice and a whole cherry

Too much work!  Easier just to make the upside down cake in a pan.

But it IS tasty!!

Now, I'm going back to sitting in my chair, crocheting and knitting!

Crazy, Weird Day

I gotta tell ya, I did not expect this:

Up to Pearl's this morning to help her find her gmail.  There is no icon on her desk top, so she thinks she has lost her gmail.  There is a G sign-in on her desk top that takes her to Google sign-in and her gmail, but apparently that made no sense.  So, I set her up with a short-cut icon.

As I was walking out through her kitchen, she said, "I have to get a new microwave again.  I just got one last year at this time.  Must be they are only meant to last a year."

I stopped and said, "What's wrong with it?"

"It won't work.  Look--no matter which button I push, it won't come on."  She's punching buttons all over the place.

I looked.  I noticed that the clock was not showing up.

"You have to have the clock set up or it won't turn on to cook anything."

"What difference does that make?  I don't care what time it is."

"No, you might not, but in order for the microwave to run, it needs to know how many seconds or minutes you want it to run to warm-up or cook your food."

"Oh...that's nuts!"

So, I reached behind it and unplugged it.  Just in case she had really messed up the commands or something.  Just to clear it out.

Then I punched the "clock" button and asked, "What time is it?"

"11:21".

I put those numbers in and hit the clock button again, then hit 2 seconds and start.

"You aren't suppose to turn it on with nothing in there!"

"I know, that's why I only hit 2 seconds."

"So the time has to show up in that window before it will work?"

"Yep."

"Hm-mm.  I wonder if that is what was wrong with the one I threw out last year."

Hm-mm, indeed.

Pitiful, isn't it?
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I am completely convinced that either I have a brain tumor or Alzheimer's is setting in.  My brain is so foggy!!!  

Every morning I get on this computer and check all my e-mails, deleting them as I read them.  Today there was a notice that a book I sold on Amazon hadn't been shipped as yet.  The order was placed and I was notified to ship on Monday.

I swear I did not see that e-mail.

Then, friend Chris also sent me an e-mail this morning that wondered why I hadn't gotten back to her on a pattern she sent me to review--looking it over for typos and that sort of thing.

I swear, I did not see her original e-mail either.

How can I be missing these things?

My mind used to be sharp as a tack!  Now, it resembles mashed potatoes.

I feel fine physically, but I have no gumption to go or do anything.  I forget to eat breakfast and sometimes lunch and only notice when I get dizzy or my stomach growls.  I have no appetite for anything and realize at the end of some days, I have eaten no protein.

The Tinnitus in my ears is so loud lately, but nothing that can be done for that.  It can be very nerve wracking!  Every time I type the word "would", I type it "owuld".  Sometimes I sit here and can't remember a word I want to use.  

It's kind of scary at times.

Anyway, today it was frigid cold outside with high winds and I decided I needed to go to Wal-Mart.  I remembered there was a prescription waiting for me since Tuesday and I was nearly out of Diet Pepsi.  As long as I was out and it was such a miserable day, it seemed a good time to get the Shingles vaccine.

Three years ago at CVS the shot cost $250.00.  Two years ago at Walgreens, it was $98.00.  Today, I had them check and with my Humana Wal-Mart prescription plan, it was $6.60!!!!!  Now was the time to act!  I hate shots, but what the heck--it takes but a minute and I would be assured never to get the dreaded, extremely painful, Shingles blisters.  It seemed strange to be getting an injection from a pharmacist, but the attitude I had today, I didn't really care.

So, as the guy is swabbing the skin down under my arm with alcohol, he asks, "Have you had the pneumonia vaccine?"

"Yes."

"Have you had your flu shot this year?"

"Yes.  Three weeks ago."

"Well, that's good.  It looks like you are up on all your needed vaccines."

Now, I am under the (false) impression that this 50-something pharmacist would be up on medical stuff.  So, trying to be funny AND not think about the needle, I said---

"I've never had my DPT or MMR shots."

"Oh.  Was it against your family's religion?"
<Wait.  What?>

So he has already spoiled my joke--I can't go on.

"No.  I didn't get them when they came out in the late SIXTIES because I had all those diseases in the FORTIES, when I was a child!"

"Oh."

I guess I am too old to be trying to spoof these youngers anymore.  They take everything seriously and---they just don't get it.  

Then he says, "Did you get the Polio vaccine in the Forties?"

"No.  It didn't come out until nineteen fifty-five.  I did get it then and the sugar cube with vaccine in the sixties."

"Oh good."

It's like a few weeks ago when someone younger asked me what year I graduated.  I said, "Oh, about a hundred and fifty years ago."

They actually looked at me and nodded their head.

Are they so slow witted that they don't get it?  Or are they not really listening and just trying to appear nice and interested when they ask their questions?

No wonder I enjoyed the debate so much last night.  "Even in New Jersey, we would call that rude."
Hilarious!!!  Probably none of the Young Republicans thought it was sarcastic and funny.

"That (democratic) debate reflected a debate between the Bolsheviks and the Mensheviks."  Oh my lord, I laughed!

Oh well.  Senility may be moving into my brain.  Perhaps I need to be in a home with people my age--they might remember how sharp and wicked the wit used to be...back in the day.

Just my luck.  I'd probably end up with a room mate like Pearl and have to instruct her daily on how to turn on the TV.

Mish Mash Of Thoughts

A dreary day, but much needed rain, so I am happy!  I can remember my Mother saying, "We need a lot of rain in the fall and a good amount of snow in the winter. The spring flowering bushes need all that water or they won't bloom."  I know she was right.  My Forsythia bush and those of my neighbors, haven't bloomed fully for the last two springs.  The Spring of 2014, I had very few Lilacs, last spring was much better, at least for the Lilacs.  With El Nino', Michigan is suppose to have a much warmer, drier winter.  Less snow    The warmer part is okay for me, but I like lots and lots of snow!

Sorry to offend anyone with a birthday in November or February, but I really hate those two months.  Everything seems to me to be dying or dead.  Few days of sunshine.  Damp and cold.  UGH.  Maybe that's why I like snow so much.  It covers up the evidence that the earth underneath is dead!
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I got a nice Thank You e-mail from Karen.  I had made her a collage of her life and sent it to her for her birthday last Saturday.  I had fun doing it and she and the kids had fun looking at it.  To me, that's a winner.

  Thank goodness I am a picture saving, picture organizing, album person.  I had photos of her with all her grandparents, her great grandmother, her parents and her siblings.  All I had to do was get out the albums, scan the photos and save them in a picture file on the computer.

I did one for Pam and Mark and have one I am working on for Jen's birthday in December.
I am too, a good Momma--so there!
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Thinking back to October 28, 1988.  What a long time ago!  Seems like last week.  I married a man who "appeared" to be nice and very caring.

He stated on the wedding license he had been married once.  I found out two years later, I was his fourth wife!  Some of those marriages only lasting a few months.

A wolf in sheep's clothing shall we say?  He loved that I was so tolerant and non-judgmental and open to everyone I met.  Yes--I was, to my eminent downfall.

We arrived at our beautiful motel next to the Mackinaw Bridge and he got angry with me because I was fascinated with the view of the Bridge with all the lights on it, when I should have been zoned in on only his magnificent self.  Three days later in Munising at Scotties Motel, he got angry again because I was writing out a few postcards to send home.  He tore up the postcards, threw them in my face, stormed out of the room, took MY car and left--coming back at noon the next day so we could return home.

For the next 3.5 years, this White Supremacist, George Wallace loving, anti-government man kept me hostage.  Why did he marry me when I was all the things he hated?  I had money!  I had a good job!  He quit his the second month we were married.  He slapped me around, beat me, gave me black eyes, broke my cheekbone, and tried to choke me to death on a monthly basis.

Why did I stay so long?  Only a woman who has lived that kind of life will understand.  There is more terror in leaving than there is in staying.

If I had not had a friend who offered to rescue me, I probably would still be married to the ogre.  No--I'd probably be dead by now.  

Ogre is on his 7th wife and they "seem" happy, they've been married 15 years now.

I look quite pixalated, don't I?  That feeling probably should have been a clue!
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What would I do without my sister and brother-in-law?  They came down today and he insulated my ill fitting back door.  I put a sheet over it so it blends in with the wall.

Foggy, Foggy Night.

I haven't posted anything since Saturday?  What is the matter with me?

Nuttin, Honey!

Fall doldrums?  Full Moon?  Low barometric pressure?

Honestly, there is nothing to write about.

Sunday morning, I got up, took a shower, watched my program with Dr. David Jeremiah, played computer games and watched a couple of movies while I knitted and crocheted.

Monday morning, I got up, played computer games, did laundry, watched my Soap, ran up to Staples, watched The Big Bang Theory while I knitted and crocheted.

This morning, I got up after only 5 hours sleep.  I thought it was Wednesday all morning long.  My brain is in a fog.  We have a big rain storm coming in tonight and all day tomorrow.  Remnants from Hurricane Patricia.  I worked most of the day on getting my family genealogy book printed out, in preparation to take it to the printer place to get it punched and spiral put on.  I watched my Soap, and the news, while I knitted and crocheted. 

My phone rang once in the last three days.  It was Wal-Mart telling me my prescription is ready.

See what I mean?
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