Egads and Little Fish Hooks!!!

Cold and rainy today with a bitter wind.  Kind of matches my mood.

To the doc's office early to get a blood draw.  A different nurse and she can't seem to find a good vein and have I mentioned?  I HATE NEEDLES!!!

I left a report for the doc to look at before I go back, late tomorrow afternoon.  A list of the meds I was on when the AFib hit and a list of the ones I am on now.  Also a list of my BP three times a day--that oughta scare him, I know it sure does me.  Questions and suggestions we might try to lower the BP again and in large letters:  WE NEED TO COME UP WITH AN ACTION PLAN!

The lowest my BP has been all week was 179/58.  Did you know if you have a high number that the bottom number should be higher too?  With the bottom number low, it is not a good thing.  With 179 Systolic, I should be in at least the 70's, diastolic.  

I went back to taking 30 mg of my BP med, twice a day, like I was on before, as the 20mg wasn't doing a thing.  Unfortunately, neither is the 30mg.  

Last night, my BP was 213/79--this morning 197/62.  Pulse rate: 48.  THIS IS NOT GOOD!!
=====================
Dar came over at 11:00, just as I was trying to relax in my recliner and maybe catch a tiny nap.  

"I got the glider chair."

"Cool.  What is a glider chair and why did you get one?"

"It was my Dad's.  Pat and my brother are moving next week and they sent Dad's chair home with me."

"Okay."

"I am really feeling forsaken."

"Why?"

"Well, Pat and my brother are moving to Arizona and Dad will be flying out to get a new place next month and....I'm going to be all alone."

"Your brother Mike and his wife are still here."

"I don't like her."

"Oh."

"I feel like I'm not good enough and that is why everyone is moving away from me."

"Oh good grief!  They are moving because your brother wants to live in Arizona and so does your Dad.  That's the only reason."

"It doesn't feel that way to me."

"Good thing you have a job or you'd drive yourself crazy."

"I think that is the only thing that will save me."

"I think YOU think too much!"

"I'm going to go get my hair cut at one today."

"That will make you feel better.  I'm going to have to cut this short.  I'm not feeling well and I wanted to catch a little nap."

"Oh...okay."
<not so much as a question on why I didn't feel well--cause you know--IT'S ALL ABOUT HER!>
===========================
Off to the Chiropractor at 2:00.  My neck feels better anyway

Got a Subway with my gift card, on the way home.

Hopefully tomorrow brings some sort of explanation of the BP and how to fix it!!!

Illegal Aliens?

 Karen Rivard Our van had just arrived to Madeleine's house in Guatemala. I was so excited to see her I couldn't even wait for them to open the door. I grabbed her sweet face right through the window!

Karen, Madeleine and Susanna, in the 

tropical rainforest.

In order to stay another three months, Madeleine and her friend Emma had to cross over into Mexico and stay a day.  Then they could get their Visas renewed and cross back into Guatemala.  They had to pay the guys $50.00 to take them across the river separating the two countries.

ARGGH!

188/723--last night when I went to bed.

165/75--an hour ago.

I hate this!  There is a wive's tale about not worrying about the top number on the BP, but it worries me.  I continue with the Doc's experiment, even though I know if I increased my BP med, it would straighten out.  I USED to take 25 mg of Lisinopril, twice a day.  I was down-graded to 20mg twice a day in the hospital.  I just KNOW the doc will increase it back up to 25 next Tuesday when I see him.  

I have to get a blood draw Monday 9:30am, so he will have the results of the test when I go in Tuesday at 2:30.  You know how I HATE blood draws--I get so nervous and jumpy when I see that dang needle.  I DO NOT have White Coat Syndrome--my BP at his office is usually 126/68.  AND the dang Lasix is giving me the dizzies.  I never met a water pill that didn't make me dizzy.

You know what is weird?  Dar and I have the same thing=AFib,  She goes to my Doc now.  We are basically on the same meds, but she has to be careful about low Sodium and I have to be careful about low Potassium.  

Just my luck--we'll probably go down at the same time and be in hospital at the same time--no doubt the same room!  My worst case scenario!!!
===========
Anyway--yesterday I drove on up to the hometown and joined my friends at the High School Cafeteria for their monthly Senior Citizen lunch.  We had a good meal and it was nice to see people I haven't seen in years.  Some of them look the worse for wear--I tell you.  Younger than me and not looking good.  Scary!  

Then I went out to The Farm to drop some stuff off for my sister and they were not home.  I found out later, we passed each other on the road as I was coming home to Howell and they were leaving Howell to go home.  HAH!

Today--I work outside even if it kills me!!!  Dar tells me the harder I work, the lower my BP will go.

WHAT?

Upright.

I am upright and on the topside of the sod.

When I woke up early this morning, I didn't know if by the end of the day, that statement would be true!  Geez Louise!

Woke up at 6:45 with bad headache,  Took my BP: 189/72.  Popped my two BP meds and back to bed.  When I got up at 8:30, my head was very "thick" AND I had to drive up to Wal-Mart to get my other new med: Lasix.  I felt disoriented and kind of groggy--good thing I only had 2.5 miles to drive.

When I got back to my car, I immediately took one of the Lasix with water and came back home.    My neck felt like it couldn't support my head.  Bad ache in the base of my skull, but the ache in the top of my head receded.  Although I have been told I am not to take Ibuprofen (Advil) or Aleve because they both can cause stomach bleeding, especially because I am on a blood thinner, I figured that would only occur if I took them everyday, so I popped two Advil.

I had to drive down to the Chiropractor this afternoon and made it there and home.  At least my neck felt better.  I took my BP and it was at 164/65, which was a lot better and, because of the Lasix, I was peeing like a broken water main.  I also took my Potassium.

Well--tonight I am feeling much better although,  extremely tired.  My pulse rate is back in the mid-forties, which I don't like, BUT my BP is at 151/62.  The top number still too high, but I think that will correct in a few days.  I just might lose the 4 pounds I gained last week--no doubt edema, although my ankles never swelled, and with my skinny ankles, I can tell quickly if I have swelling.

So--I think I just might make it to fight another day. I did manage to get my 4 loads of laundry done, without too much effort, but tonight I have noticed the Lasix is making me a bit dizzy==one of it's main side effects.  That's why I hated the other water pill!!  The good news?  A 30 day supply only cost me $1.25.  

Here it is, the 15th of the month and I only have $11.00 in the checking account, but the good news is, all the bills are paid, the car is full of gas AND I just got a notice, that because I have a $50.00 a month dentist bill, they raised my food assistance from 16 to $35.00 a month, which will go into effect on the 21st.  Whew.

Then I remembered, my "adopted" daughter Chris, had given me a Wal-Mart gift card last month to buy myself a bouquet--which I didn't have the chance to do, so.....I can at least get some milk and food if I need too.

Everything is going to be all right and I'll be fine!

Hey--thanks for all your comments.  For a time, I thought perhaps my blog had gone invisible and I didn't know it.  I think I write posts that are sometimes way too long.  It's the "writer" in me.  I get started and I just keep rolling along, putting in descriptions and conversations.

It might also be that I get lonely and the comments left make me feel like friends are near.  Thanks.   

A Nice Day

I have to keep putting this photo up at the top of my blog because...it is so beautiful and I am waiting for my Grape Hyacinth, Tulips and Daffodils to bloom!  67 and sunny today.

This reminds me of our blogging friend Balisha.  She died four weeks now and still her blog is left open by her husband, Joe and still, her blogging friends are leaving comments.  I think we are all thinking of her because this time of year, she would be posting photos of her gardens and the plans for what she wanted to plant.  What a testimony to such a wonderful lady, that even after a month, her friends are still thinking of her and missing her.
==================================
So, this morning I had to go back to my primary guy to see how his "experiment" worked.  He lowered my new BP med to half--trying to raise my low pulse rate.  Well, it did that--I got up to 53 beats per minute.  However, my BP also went up--every day--until yesterday it was 196/68 and this morning, 192/66.  I took a full BP tab this morning, not wanting to risk having a stroke before I got to his office to tell him, "You are nutz!"  "Our experiment didn't work."  He put me on Lasik to see if that will do any good AND back on 40 MEQ's of Potassium to counteract the water pill.

GEEZ OH PETE!!!  You know how I hate running to the doc's all the time!  I gotta go back next Tuesday and have more blood drawn!  Today, he also asked when I was going to have a Colonoscopy.

"Never," I replied.

"Why not?  You need to get one to check and make sure you don't have polyps."

"I've never had one and I'm not going to start now.  I am over seventy-five and "they" say you don't need one after that age...AND...if I get colon cancer, I wouldn't go throuigh the treatments anyway...so......."

He just shook his head, perturbed at me.

Apparently my new insurance company wants me to do all the preventative stuff, because he quizzed me on mammograms (last August), bone density (last August) eye exam (in a few weeks) cardiologist visit plus an echo cardiogram and EKG (last week) and colonoscopy.

He asked if I still smoked and I told him, "I use pipe tobacco now.  It is milder, has less chemicals."

"How long did you smoke cigarettes, how many and what kind?"

"Ultra lights, usually half a pack a day, for 55 years."

"Do you cough, have chest pain or shortness of breath?"

"No.  Never."

"When did you last have a chest x-ray?"

"Last week.  Isn't it there in a report?"

"Ah-hh, yes, here it is.  Completely clear and normal.  There are no nodules, no scars, no shadows.  You're heart isn't enlarged either.  Doesn't look like you've ever smoked."

"I never inhaled."

"Hm-mm.  Are you going to quit?"

"No.  Well...maybe, but not today."

"Didn't you quit a couple of years ago?"

"Yes.  For six months."

"Why did you start again?"

"Because I wanted too."

"Hm-mm."

"Do you drink alcohol?"

"No.  Never."

"Maybe you should.  Wine is suppose to be good for you."

"I heard the latest report that said it wasn't."

"Yes--I did too.  Well, all things in moderation."

"Including smoking."
=============================
When I got home, my BP was "down" to 184/62.  I had stuff I wanted to do outside, but I was scared to lift or work hard with the upper number that high.  Two weeks ago, my BP was 126/62--now with changing meds, "they" have me all messed up again.  I HATE MEDICAL PROBLEMS!!!   All this doctoring makes me feel mentally as old as I am physically, HAH!

I did get my Hummingbird feeders up and filled as I see on the migration chart that the little Darlings are in Southern Michigan and I am only about 50 miles from the Michigan/Ohio border.  I also got my two chairs and little table out of the shed and ready to wash them tomorrow.

Karen called and invited me out to supper.  Tonight she took me to a Mexican place.  We had a delightful waiter.  Lyle and he was so overtly gay and sweet, especially to the Madre, that we had a good time.  We spent most of our time talking about Karen's trip to Guatemala.

"Mom...you just can't believe how they live.  The house we built, is exactly four inches from the houses on either side.  There is trash everywhere.  It smelled horrible all the time.  Most of them have no electricity, and a lot of them share a public latrine.  You just cannot imagine.  Dust everywhere.  At the end of the day, you have dirt and dust in your hair, inside your clothes and shoes.  It is so hot and sticky.  Some days, if the power was out, which it was a lot, people had no water, because the well pumps are run on electricity.  We complain if our Internet or electricity goes out for a couple of hours.  Everyone should have to go to one of these countries and stay for a week.  We are the luckiest people to live here in the United States."

 We take so much for granted don't we?  It's really only by a quirk of fate that we were born and live here.  I know I am thankful for that.

Monday Thoughts

========================================================================

I don't know quite how to describe something I went through.  While I was in the hospital.  After they did the cardioversion on me--as I was waking up from the Propofol.

They gave me the injection and I felt the heaviness in my forehead and said, "Here I go," and went out.  What seemed like a few minutes later--I was waking up, I guess.

I heard the nurse say, "What's so happy?"  and I asked, "What?"

She said, "You just said OH, quite loudly and I looked and you were smiling.  What's up?"

I didn't tell her because it was so fresh and new I didn't know what to say.

Just a second before I heard her, I saw Jesus.  He was walking away and he turned and looked right at me and smiled the biggest grin ever.  I was so surprised I took in a sharp breath and said, "Oh!" and I tried to catch up with Him.  I felt such peace and I wanted to walk with him.  I was so happy to see Him.

He didn't look like any picture I have ever seen of Him, but I knew instantly who He was.    He looked something like this image I Googled and finally found, except other people were with him and he was grinning at me.

I don't know what to make of all of this.  No doubt a reaction from the drug.  When I go to bed at night, I can see this image so clear.  Was He looking back at me and walking away because I was once again well and not going with Him?  I have no idea.  All I know is that feeling of peace and happiness and His great big grin have stayed in my memory since.

I don't believe in visions and spirits visiting us and any of that, so I have to assume that this "visitation" was just a reaction to waking up from the Propofol, however, I have had that drug many times and never had an experience like this.

I wonder...was it real?  
=====================

I have been threatening to (since January) and today I did--mopped the kitchen and hall/utility room floor.  I love it all shiny in the sunlight.

Last year, when I walked, I'd walk down to Fred's Heart tree and back=400 steps.  This evening I decided I needed to start walking again, so off I went toward the Heart Tree.  I got there and just kept on walking--to the corner and back.  Equaled 800 steps.  I can walk better now than I have in years--although it has taken 3 years since my hip surgery to finally get back to being able to walk with no discomfort.  

Sometimes, when I go to Wal-Mart, I count my steps from the front of the store to where I begin filling my cart--usually the back of the store, and I noticed that I could walk 200 steps quite easily.  I thought it might be harder here, with no cart to hang on to, but--I feel real proud of myself and I think next walk, I can make it down to the lake and back.
=====================
Hardly any comments on my blog anymore.  I guess I write too much?  Or what I write is boring?

Perfect Weather--66 degrees

I am lusting after this Oriole feeder.  On Sale (?) for $44.00!  Can you even imagine paying that much for a bird feeder?  All my feeders are copper, so this one caught my eye.

I guess my home made one will have to do.  I put it up yesterday, with jelly and a half an orange on the bush next to it.

John stopped by yesterday at 1:00 and unloaded the 90# of bird seed out of my car trunk and into my metal garbage can/bird seed container.  I tried to help him carry the bags, but he insisted he do it all by himself and handed the dog's leash for me to hold while he worked.  He put 1/3 of the sunflower seeds in the can and then 1/3 of the regular seed and bent over and fixed it with his hands.  Then repeated until all the seed was in the can.  I thought I'd stir and mix it up with a shovel, but he has paws as large as shovels and did a great job.  I never even thought of doing it that way.  Hm-mm.  I wonder if he has done this before or if he is just a smart enough man to know how to do something properly?  I filled up my feeders, sprayed them a bit with the Hot Sauce to keep the squirrels away and we are good to go.

Merle came down today and took down the frame-work and the insulation on my back door.  I have so much light coming into that hallway now--I am a happy person!

I vacuumed, dusted, rearranged the tables in my living room, cleaned the windows inside and decided to put up the summer sheers today--while I watched the Master's Golf Tournament.

Out with the heavy drapes and valances and cafe curtain

 In with the sheers and no cafe curtain on the bottom.

Do you think the tasseled valance is a bit too much?  Looks like a French Whorehouse?

I have no cafe curtain on the bottom half of the window so at night, any and all could look in.  They can't see me however, as my recliner is tucked back in the corner.  I just like wide open windows to catch every ray of light and bring it into my environment.  It doesn't get dark enough to put on inside lights until quite late, so---most neighbor's would be inside and not looking. Yes--I have blinds on every window, but I rarely lower them.  LOL 

Speaking of the Master's Tournament--what a great winner.  21 years old and set all kinds of records.  I hope he keeps going great in his career  AND  he is a lot nicer than Tiger.  At least if he hits a bad tee shot, he doesn't swear for all to hear like Tiger used too!
=================
A new week.  I will be outside over-doing!!