title explained

Onward and upward! something that you say in order to encourage someone to forget an unpleasant experience or failure and to think about the future instead and move forward.

My e-mail: jjmiller6213@comcast.net

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

It Is Really Noisy!!!

I woke up this morning with an awful headache, stiff neck and my Tinnitus is really loud.

Nothing has improved through the day, except I am dizzy and feel nauseous now.

I was doing a tour of the park and saw Merle and Pearl coming home from the doctor, so when I got home, I ran right up to their house.

The good news:  All tests results are in--there is absolutely nothing medically wrong with Merle!!!
His sleep study test revealed he only woke up once during the night, and that was to go to the bathroom.  He only snored twice, for a few seconds!  Amazing!!

So--why is he so tired?  Why can't he walk as fast as he used too?  Why does he feel punk and his voice is weak?

Is he just too old to work anymore?  He mows grass at the golf course.  Easy job.

Pearl said to him, "I'm done with ya!  You've been milking this all summer.  No excuses anymore!"

If it isn't medical, than it has to be psychological--right?  Depression because he has realized that he can't do everything he used too?    Early dementia?  Nope they did a memory test with him and also a CAT of his brain.  Who knows?  Maybe he just needs a nice, not too strong anti-depressant.  I recommend 20 mg of Celexa.  

I didn't actually mention that, but..................................
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Early morning work began on taking the new deck across the street, down.  Actually, all they did was get under it and cut the post off about 4 inches.  You see, the retired carpenter and his son, an active carpenter, made the deck too high and the front storm door wouldn't open.  HAH!!!


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I got the rest of the front garden cut back and weeded out.  I know, it looks like there is grass in there, but that is my Grape Hyacinth, that comes on, nice and thick after it blooms in the spring and I don't cut it back.

I dug up tons and tons of Rudbeckia--it is soooooooo invasive.  I dug up my pink Coneflower over by the edge of the front porch and put it in the front garden, and took a chunk of Rudbeckia and put it in the Coneflower hole.  My Coneflower hasn't looked very good this summer and I think, it isn't getting enough light.

I planted all my gardens 10 years ago.  Since then, the trees have grown and become larger and more shade is now on the gardens.

It looks so forlorn.  I still have some Tulips and Daffs to put in
here.  Next spring, it will be lovely.
======================
It was a nice bright, sunny day, so I decided to drive around the park to see what kind of color is going on with the trees.  Do you want to come along?  Just hop in the passenger's side--I'll give you a guided tour.

Heading north to the main road--Grand River.
The exit--to the right is Brighton 2.5 miles.
To the left is Howell, 2.8 miles

When the traffic cleared, I just did a "U" turn
so we can come in the entrance

Office straight ahead.  Stay to the right, please 


Continuing on--office to the left
One way going in and out


To our right, is an open field.
Sand Cranes love to play here

 Around the circle--to the right, please

This tree is always so unusual in the way it gets it's color
each and every fall 

More color down a side street-- Biscayne Street 



Oh My Gosh!  That's Merle and Pearl's car in front of us!


End of the entrance street.
Pearl and Merle went right, down our street.
Let's you and me turn left and look at the lake

Nice sandy beach off to the left


Fishing boats and Kayaks over to the right
Rich people's homes  across the lake

Across this nice open way, is another part of the park
and an area for people to store their RV's.
I wish my place backed up to this big open area! 

Back up to our corner 


The residents here did the corner, round flower bed.
Nice touch.

Heading west up Lakeview Lane

Nice Burning Bush coming into color --Pearl's neighbor 


Merle and Pearl's.  Yes, it is a "regular" mobile home, which are
no longer allowed in the park.
They got it for free 6 years ago, but had to put new vinyl siding on it.
Dar's off to the left and Jackie's is the blue one.


Tami and Ron--to the right where the red car is
New neighbor's on left where the street ends


Here we are--back home.




It's a really nice park.  Kept up well.  Quiet (except for July 4th), especially back here, away from the traffic on Grand River Road.

BTW--Grand River Road or Historic US-16, as it once was known,  goes all the way across the State.  To the East--it ends in Detroit.  To the West--in Muskegon..  Of course, there is expressway I-96 that runs (more or less) parallel, but sometimes, I find it fun to get on Grand River and travel up toward Lansing and go through all the little towns and farm land along the way.

Here's a neat link about it.  Grand River Road


I love Monday's!

Ah...yes...popcorn and milk.  You have to be "born" into it or you probably wouldn't like it.  I have a picture of my great great grandparents, sitting around the old wood stove, eating bowls of popcorn and milk.  It was always our Sunday night supper.

Microwave popcorn does not lend itself very well, to this treat.  You need popcorn that has been popped using a big old pan on top of the stove, or one of those poppers used in the fire place.  It pops really nice with no hulls or hard kernels.

It is not at all like cereal--other than we ate it from cereal bowls.  It has salt and butter on it.  Nice and crunchy and the combo of salt and milk--yummy!!  You gobble it down so fast it hardly has time to get soggy.  Then you fill up your bowl with more.

You are usually introduced to this treat at the age of one.  No need to worry about a little one chocking on it as it is moist.

I am proud to say we are now on our 6th generation as my grandkids all love it too.  I always thought it was a German thing.  None of you have ever had it?
======================

I have loved Monday's for years and years and years.

When I was a school kid--living out on the farm with no close neighborhood kids to play with, weekends could get quite boring.  I loved Monday's because it meant I could go back to school and see all my friends.

When I was married, Monday's meant the hubs went back to work, the kids went to school and I had peace and quiet in the house.

After my divorce and when I got a job, weekends were lonely and boring.  Monday's meant I could go back into the office and see all my friends there.

Now--weekends around here are boring and lonely.  Usually on Monday, activity picks up.  Also, it feels like a whole new, clean and sparkling week has arrived and I can get started on projects.

Today--Monday--across the street:

taking back the temporary front steps











The inspector arrived.  He looked at everything, under the deck,
 at the deck, walked on top of the deck and left.
I guess we are A. OK.

====================================
Surprises starting happening around here about 1:00.  Got a call from my sister--Chuck had things to return to Lowe's.  They were coming here afterwards so Chuck could cut the dead branches out of my Privet bushes.
They looked nice enough last September.

Not so nice this summer 

Most of this is young Maple or Rose of Sharon suckers

Chuck got busy and CAREFULLY, ONLY, cut out the dead branches.
 These two do have growth at the bottom

 This one, not so much

 This sad one under my bedroom window.  One little sprig, down by the ground.
 Chuck says, "They will come back.  Just hope live long enough to see it."  ha

The Fur Kids are sure going to miss, sitting on the window ledge in living room and bedroom and gazing at all the birds that used to nest and live in these bushes.  I am going to miss the one outside the bedroom window that I always felt lent me a bit of privacy.

It is nice, in that, all the old/big/dead branches are gone and now, as the bushes grow, I can just trim off the tops, with the hedge trimmers, and keep them neat and tidy.  I do like, neat and tidy!!

Neighbor Tami mentioned on FB that, "your yard looks so empty," to which I so wanted to comment, "at least it isn't cluttered with junk like yours," but of course I didn't say that.

<you know--I have come to the conclusion that I really am NOT a nice person.  Outwardly--ah yes.  But the things, in my head, I think of saying or doing--a whole different nasty woman!>

Chuck then helped me get the 2x4's laid out on the shed floor and he put all the heavy boxes back for me. I could have done it myself, but....I just stood there and sang, "It's so nice to have a man around the yard....."

A bit of weirdness about the 2x4's.  I posted that Merle had seen the shed floor and I told him that my BIL was bringing down some 2x4's to put over the rotted out places.

Unbeknownst to me, Merle hauled over four 2x4's and put them in my shed--On the floor--over the rotted out spots.  Apparently he did this on Saturday while I was inside.  He called to tell me about it on Sunday.  Hm-mm.  

"Thank you so much, but...don't you need them?  Chuck has some left from their building he was going to bring."

"Nope.  Had them stored under the trailer.  Don't need them.  Knew you did."

"Okay.  Thanks."

I strolled up to their place tonight at 6:30, to take a book to Pearl and I told them that Chuck and Susan had been out and cut back the bushes.

Pearl:  "We know.  Could hear that chain saw all over the neighborhood!  What a racket!"

Merle:  "Yup.  Kept me from taking my nap."

Judy:  "Thanks again for the 2x4's.  Chuck put them down and put back all the boxes.  I think it's going to work great."

Pearl:  "What 2x4's are you talking about?"

Judy:  "The ones Merle brought down and put in the shed."

Pearl turns to Merle:  "When did you do that?  and, why didn't you tell ME?"

Merle says nothing and just smiles.

I got that creepy feeling again, so I jumped in with, "Pearl, you knew my floor in the shed was rotted out.  I told you, right."

Pearl:  "Yes.  Your brother-in-law was bringing down some 2x4's to put in there."

Then she turns to Merle, who has buried his face in the newspaper, "How did you know the shed floor was rotted out?"

Merle:  "You musta told me."

...and I quickly turned the conversation to the Detroit Tigers losing out in the playoffs!!

She complains that Merle is so tired that he can't do very much--won't even help her make the bed or vacuum the living room anymore, but...he is hauling FOUR 2x4's down to my shed?

Yes--I know.  He is a nice, caring guy, but............

I am not liking this circus event!  




Sunday, October 5, 2014

An Inside Day




Building the deck started this morning at 9:00am

I know nothing of construction, but I would think that the concrete
footings should be ON a concrete slab or concrete pads
not just sat on the damp ground.
Won't they settle into the earth and the deck along with them? 



Less than 8 hours later and the basic deck is almost completed 


See the posts for the railing cut off?
The old guy has the white plastic covers all ready to put on


I took the living room drapes down.  Windexed the windows and put them back up, along with the cafe' sheer on the bottom.  The drapes stated, "Dry Clean Only"--like that's going to happen on my budget.  Into the dryer, with a dryer sheet and they came out, sans cat fur and smelled fresh.

I like as much outside light as possible coming into this house.  In the summer, I keep the blinds down to the second window.  In the winter, with the light coming at a different angle, I pull the blinds all the way up and put a cafe' curtain across the bottom window so Tami can't see in!!!   With inside lights on for more hours than in the summer months, that sheer affords me a bit more privacy--or so I think.  They may be pulled back during the day so my purry furry's can see out.


Luckily I had purchased an extra tension rod a few years ago because,
one of the ones I was using decided to fall apart last spring when I took them down.




Pearl gave me her meatloaf recipe a couple of days ago, so I decided to use the last of my "free" ground chuck and make it for supper.  BLAH!!!  She uses a can of drained, diced tomatoes in hers and crushed up crackers.  I always put an envelope of Dry Onion Soup mix in mine, 1/4 cup Ketchup, and oatmeal for the filler.  My meat loaf always held together quite well--I could slice it.  Pearl's fell apart when I tried to get it out of the bread loaf pan.  Hers tasted pretty bland to me, but I have some great meat sauce my sister canned and I spread a lot of that on the meat.

The potato I baked to go along with the meat loaf was very good, however. :-)  

This for desert.  I do love this fruit!  Even when it thaws, it doesn't get mushy.  They had it on sale at Meijer the other day.  Yes--you see sugar on the unsweetened fruit!!!  You probably would have laughed at the inordinate amount of butter I put on a baked potato.  LOL.  Don't judge me.  I am old!  I am going to enjoy!

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As I read through my blogging buddies posts--I realize just how odd I am--compared to the more "normal" human woman.

Most "people" arise at an early time of morning.  If I get out of bed before 9:00am, I consider it early.  One worries that she could stay in her robe all day.  I never even think about the fact that, if I have no where to go, I am in my cotton, knee length nightie until 11:00am.  I live alone.  I spend 2 hours on this computer in the morning--my nightie is comfy.

Another widow is trying to figure out how to get the feeling of intimate comfort into her life. I don't miss sex in the less tiniest bit!  As I look back on my life, I don't know if I ever enjoyed it!  To me, sex was always a "trade-off" for something.  It made the guy I was with happier and when he was happy, he was nicer to me.  Oh...and I was a really good actress!!!  I had more than one guy tell me that I was the best sexual partner he had ever had!!!   

I think perhaps that is why Fred and I got along so well.  He was nearly impotent from the day I met him.  After his heart attack and surgery, he was so relieved when I wasn't disappointed that we could no longer have "sex".  He gave me more love and intimacy than any man I've ever known. 

At this stage of my life, the thought of sex makes me ill.  I would not want anyone to see this saggy, scarred body!  I can barely look at it in the mirror when I get out of the shower!  It would be way too much work on my part--because most of men my age are impotent, but they think, I would be the one to renew their youthful vigor.  My arthritic fingers, painful shoulder, brusitic elbow and stiff neck tells me--I am not going through that much work or pain to give him 33 seconds of fun!!!!!

Yes--I miss the comfort of  hugs, kisses and being held, but....unless I could find another Fred, I am not going to have those comforts.

Another blogger friend tells of her hours getting her home and herself ready for winter.  I think I must really be lazy or not aware as the casual way I treat winter.  I have many afghans--hanging over the back of the couch, or chair--looking all ready for use.  I never use any of them.  I did put the thermal light-weight blanket back on the bed, between light bedspread and sheets, but that's about it.  I don't have an electric blanket or heated throws.

I did swap out my summer and winter clothes--but that was just for the "good" clothes--sweaters instead of tops.  I go barefooted in the house most of the year.  Perhaps a pair of cotton sox once in awhile.  I keep the furnace thermostat set at 73 degrees--summer and winter.

She has brought out her scarves, mittens, hats, boots, coats, for winter.  I have a scarf--a decorative one that hangs around the collar of my winter coat.  I never wear a hat--never.  I rarely pull on a pair of gloves--more for fashion than for warmth.  I only wear my boots if the snow is above my shoe tops, LOL.

I do prepare my house, in that I make sure all my windows are closed tightly and locked and I do insulate my back door, but only because it has a leak along the bottom.  

Most of my blog buddies love to read.  They curl up in their chair, under their cozy afghan and read.  Or they read in bed at night.  My bedside table holds a lamp with a 20 watt bulb in it.  The only thing I do in my bedroom, is change into my nightie, say my prayers and go to sleep.  The only thing I do in my chair, is cross stitch, crochet and watch TV.

Some are bemoaning the fact that their outside activities, things they go to, will be curtailed by the winter snow and weather.  Since I don't go many place any time of year, winter weather never bothers me.  In fact, I would much rather have a blizzard and be snowed-in for two days, then have to worry about humidity and an approaching severe storm.  

I am not a porch-sitter in the spring or summer, so not being able to do that doesn't matter to me when fall and winter chills come along.    As for taking a walk--I rather enjoy a walk down the block with snow falling on my head, than with sweat from the humidity running down my face.

Others post or tell of the wonderful meals they prepare. I can't even begin to explain in a way you'd understand, my total disinterest in food.  I eat when my stomach growls and reminds me...or when I get a bit dizzy because my blood sugar is low.  More often, it is a piece of cheese grabbed from the refrigerator.  A peanut butter sandwich on a croissant because I keep no bread in the house and croissants can be quickly thawed in the microwave and the dough is much lighter than bread.  

I eat whatever is near and easy.  I do, at times, crave a nice Subway sandwich, but a lot of times, I crave popcorn with milk on it.  I eat more fruit and vegetables than I ever have in my life.  I have no appetite, so...I don't eat much.  I don't enjoy, going out to eat, because I take a few bites and I am full.  I probably could exist on warm milk with Nestle's Quik and toast dunked in it.  These eating habits will probably catch up with me one day, but right now...............................

So--I have always known that I was "different" than most of my friends--in the way I think and the way I react to things.  That never bothered me.  Who wants to be like the crowd?  Right?  Now, as I grow older and am alone, I have more time to compare and to think and..............

I guess I am just me.  Different than most.  Not interested in what others find interesting.  Not really caring.   It makes me wonder if I am missing out on life.
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I gotta go and get some warm milk and cocoa--that greasy meatloaf has made me nauseous!!

    

Friday, October 3, 2014

It Is What It Is...And That's Okay

Awake again this morning at 7:00am to get ready for the Comcast service guy to come between 8:00-9:00am.  He was here at 8:10, which I thought was great.  He checked the modem, then went outside to check the lines.  Soon was back in:

"I found the problem."

"Great.  What?"

"There is no problem ON our line, but there is a problem WITH our line.  Some critter chewed the part laying on the ground, nearly in half!  I spliced the two pieces together and put it up under your house where they can't get at it again."

 He was gone by 8:30am.
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It was a gorgeous morning at 7:00am, I rarely see the sunrise.  The sky was all pink.  Even the "air" outside looked pink.  By 7:30, we were in the midst of a downpour that was so heavy, it looked white.

I had three phone calls by 10:00am.  Glad the phone works, but tired of talking, LOL.

I decided to go get groceries after my Soap.  I checked my bank account and my Social Security was in there---the full amount!!!  I need to send my case worker a thank you note!

Off to the Meijer store in Howell.  I just kind of strolled around the store--letting all the Momma's rush by.  I don't know where all the kids came from, but it was a noisy, yelling, at times shrieking mess.

When I came out and was pushing my cart to my car, I saw a penny laying on the pavement.  Of course I bent over to get it--then I saw another one...and another...and another.  All were "head's up".  As I was picking up my booty, a young 20-something guy walked by and I saw his condescending smile.

"Look at that old lady, overjoyed at finding a penny on the wet pavement", is what I supposed he was thinking.

I thought of a lot of things to say to him, but said none and proceeded on.  The wet pennies resting nice and warm in my jeans pocket.

I got to my car, popped the trunk and looked down and...another penny--this too head's up.  "In God We Trust" facing me.

A sign?  

When my best friend was dying of cancer, every time she saw a penny with those words facing up at her, she figured God had sent her a sign and she picked them up.  At her funeral, tucked in her right hand was a little white satin bag with all the pennies she had found inside.  They had given her so much hope and courage.

I put my groceries in the trunk, sat in the car and enjoyed my treat--a Raspberry filled Bismarck and thought---

I am so glad that I am poor!  This has been a really good life and spiritual experience for me.  

Of course, it is embarrassing and humbling to ask for help—those agencies that help want to know everything about you—right down to the size of your underwear, (not really, but it sometimes feels that way).   

I didn’t want anyone to know.  The first time I went to the Food Bank, I peeked inside—just in case I knew someone in there and if I did, I wouldn’t go in.  

After awhile, desperation sent me for help and it is amazing!  What I have learned, the stories I have heard in line at the Food Bank, the many poor people and how, they just seem to continue forward.  

Remember the old, “Walk a mile in my moccasins” saying?  Well, it is very true.  You have NO concept—you can’t even imagine what poor people go through—unless you’ve been there. 

I know I didn’t.  I sat there in my nice big house and looked down on and thought anyone on Welfare was lazy and defrauding the government—and of course some are, but most aren’t.  

It takes away ALL your pride—and in the long run, that is a GOOD thing.  I appreciate every little thing so much more.  Someone gives me a beautiful red, ripe tomato from their garden, and I am thrilled!  A neighbor shares their pie or brings me cookies and I giggle with happiness.  I wanted a nice fall plant, but knew I couldn't afford it and then, a visitor comes and brings me the biggest, most beautiful Mum plant I've ever seen and my heart swells to overflowing.  

I actually am much happier now than I ever was when I had it all and took everything for granted.  

I don't have to worry about how to pay my charge card--because I no longer have any.

I don't worry one bit if my retirement account/stocks/value of my house are dropping.

I guess, the less I have...the less I have to worry about?

I am witness to the FACT that God takes care of me and keeps me moving forward.  I always said that to others, but I don't know if I really believed it.  Now--I know that I know that I know!

I may be poor money-wise, but I am rich in my spirit!!     

Philippians 4:12  “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.”  St. Paul 

This has been a difficult week in many ways, but I have found myself feeling very peaceful and content.  
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Continued rain and chilly weather for the next few days.  I think it is a good weekend just to hunker down--cross stitch, read, watch a DVD, enjoy football games on TV and continue, writing a book of house maintenance tips for my friend.

Life is soooooo good!!

I remembered this, after I posted--I like to sit in the dark in the living room and I noticed this.  I like how the kitchen light shines through the jewel tones of my collected glassware.
without flash

with flash