What Can I Say? The Woman Drives Me Nutz!!!

I'd say it was a pretty nice today.  

I got Pearl's album all done and will take it up to her tomorrow morning.  

Dar was over for a visit (?).  You know how it is to visit with her.  She talks, I listen and if I make a comment, before she wants me too, she puts her hand up, palm facing me as if to say, "Shut up--I'm not done talking."

She comes in, puffing away on her cigarette, sits down in the rocking chair, looks up at the ceiling and says, "You need to prime and paint your ceiling.  I notice, in the bright light, that it is dingy looking."

Especially on the ceiling over where you sit and blow smoke up at it, I am thinking. 

"Yes...I know," I said.  "It needs painting...all the walls need it to, but I couldn't do it anymore.  I would have to hire someone to come in and spray paint it...probably."

Then she starts telling me this yarn about how she wants to buy a car, but her brother, who used to sell cars, told her she couldn't afford the gas.  She would like to be able, once a month, to drive up north a ways to visit her son and his wife who has cancer.  

"My brother told me it would cost me one hundred-fifty dollars to make the round trip."

"Gosh--where to they live?"

"Alma.  It's about ninety-miles."

I thought for a moment and said, "Well, I hate to say this, but your brother is incorrect in his calculations."

"Oh.  No.  He knows all about cars."

So--because she drives me nuts with her no-it-all attitude, I say, "Let's do an experiment.  It will be fun."  I handed her a piece of paper and a pen.

"Let's say your car gets twenty miles per a gallon of gas.  Write that down.  Now, if a gallon of gas costs--oh, let's go high--five dollars a gallon.  You can drive twenty miles and it will cost you five dollars.  Right?  Put a five over to the right of the twenty."

"Okay--got it," she says.

"Now, here we go on our road trip.  You drive another twenty miles--that's forty miles you have driven and it has cost you ten dollars.  Now keep doing that--another twenty, which is a total of sixty miles and another five dollars.  Do that until you get to one hundred miles.  Now add up your fives."

"I got twenty-five."

"Okay--that's how much it will cost you to drive to Alma--fifty dollars for the round trip."

"Well, I would have to get an older car--like five years old or something and he said they don't get very good gas mileage.  Like ten miles a gallon."

GOOD GRIEF!!

"I don't know what car he is thinking of--I have a fifteen year old car and it gets--or the last I checked, it got twenty-five miles per gallon of gas."

"Well...why would he tell me it would cost me a hundred and fifty dollars?"

"Hm-mm.  He doesn't want you to buy a car?"

"So...once again some MAN is telling me what I can and can't do?"

"A yep."

She keeps bragging that her Daddy, who now lives here, is a multi-millionaire--I wonder why Daddy doesn't buy her a car---but I would not voice that.  I just get so frustrated when women can't figure these kinds of things out for themselves--especially women who live alone and brag about how independent they are.

Anyway--then she says, "I have to work tomorrow, so that means getting up at five o'clock."

"Why so early?  You don't have to be at work until nine do you?"

"That's right, but I have to do my Bible study and prayers in the morning.  I have four Bibles--different ones, and three study guides.  If one Bible doesn't seem to explain it so I understand, I get my other ones and look at the same verse.  Then I check the study guides to see if they agree.  Then I write it down so I can remember it later..in case someone might ask me and I can tell them the truth."

"That's a good thing to do...I guess."

So then--because I am such a rabble rouser, I say, "Which Bible do you study from?  The Douay Bible, the Jehovah Witness Bible--the NIV, the Amplified?"

"Oh--I don't use the Douay or Jehovah Witness ones--they aren't the true Bible!"

"Who says?"

"Because, they've either added books or taken books out..."

"Well, the King James Version has books that are left out too.  How do you know that version is the real Bible?"

"What books?"

"The Books of The Aprocryphal. The books from the Dead Sea Scrolls that were never included."

(I am such a brat!)

"You realize that what is in the King James Version is based on what the writers of that Bible--the interpreters wanted in it." says I.  "Other books were added or deleted depending on what the writers of those Bibles thought were important to their faith.  There are a lot of really good books in the Douay Bible--they even have the book of Judith, which I think is pretty cool!"

"Did I tell you Connie (her estranged daughter) called my sister-in-law and wanted to know how I was doing?"

"That's great.  Do you think she wants reconciliation?"

"I don't know what she wants...if it is...I would have a plain directive from God, telling me that she was sincere, before I would reconcile with her!"

I say nothing.

"What if Jennifer called you and wanted to get together...acted like she wanted you in her life again...what would you do?"

"I'd jump for joy!"

"You mean you would trust her again?"

"Yes."

"You'd expect an apology...right?"

"No."

"You would just pretend the last few months hadn't happened?  That she hadn't hurt you?"

"Yes."

"Well...how could you do that?  She's been cruel to you."

"Darlene...it's called...unconditional love.  It's called acceptance.  It's called forgiveness.  All the things the Bible teaches us."

"I can't forgive Connie...I never will!"

"Then you are willing to forego ever seeing your daughter and your grandchildren--ever again in your life.  Like when you cut your mother out of your life?" 

"I had a reason."

"Connie thinks she has a reason too."

I was getting a bit miffed at her pretentious attitude.  She claims to be such a great Christian.  She loves to show off in church.  She loves to pray out loud, in front of people.  She always says, "God's blessing on you" when she leaves.  She reminds me of the Pharisees--showing off. She brags to everyone about what a great Bible scholar she is--makes Pearl roll her eyes.  

So I say to her,"You keep telling me that God doesn't seem to be sending you things that you need.  You keep telling me Jesus isn't sitting in your bedside chair anymore and doesn't talk to you.  You expect God to forgive you of your wrong doings, and yet, you are unwilling to forgive others.  I think, you get back exactly the amount of forgiveness from God, that you give to others."

"What are you saying?  That God won't bless me if I don't forgive Connie?"

"Kind of,"  I said.  "Look  I just feel...you can read your Bible everyday, you can talk to Jesus and pray to God, you can go to church every Sunday, but if you don't put the principles of kindness, love, forgiveness IN your own life, you aren't going to get any of the promises spoken of in the Bible FOR your life. Go home and read Mark eleven or Matthew six or eighteen. See if what I am saying makes any sense."

So--she looked at her watch and said, "I've got to get going--it's past supper time."

She may not be back.

Monday==Feels Like Tuesday--Where Am I?

Today's temperature was:  83 degrees

Today's humidity was only 33%

Sunny all day.

GOT IT DONE!!!!!

Too hot for me today--well, in the computer room anyway.  I do not want to turn on the A/C as yet, so I just suffered!!!

Tonight, while I watched Tiger's Baseball, I put together Pearl and Merle's family tree album.  It turned out really, really nice.  I want to take it up to her tomorrow.  She is going to love it--I hope!  I made a chart that goes on the first page that says, in essence, "Your great, great, great grandfather on your father's side".   Put in the name, then the great, great, great grandmother's name, and on down the list to her mother's side and the same kind of chart.  I think it will help her understand better.  Of course, there is an ancestor tree chart, and also a family tree page for each person, showing not only their parents, but their spouse and children.  To someone who isn't use to reading those types of things, it can be a bit confusing.    I also put tiny labels at the top of each family tree page with the specific person, i.e., "Great,great,great grandfather."  Because once she gets into the album, she will have forgotten what relation it is to her.

Just on a whim, while I was in ancestry.com, I typed in my 6th great grandfather's name.  I have huge genealogy albums for each side of my family, so we have the history--I thought.  While my sister was living in New York, she gleaned a lot of info.  BUT to my surprise, he and three of his brothers, fought in the Revolutionary War!!!  My sis and I could join the Daughter's of the American Revolution!!!  We could be member's of the D.A.R.  We have the proof.  I have the page with their names on it.  I have the record of them getting their pensions. I guess it's quite a big deal to be in the D.A.R.  I don't know, but---I haven't told my sis yet.  I will see her on Friday and show her the record.  She is going to FREAK OUT!!!

I had to take a couple of breaks today--my head was getting really foggy and dizzy.  I went up to Pearl's and took her the "step by step" list I had made on how to get pictures from the web, how to save them, how to find them again ( :-) ) and how to print them.  She was thrilled!!!

Then after my soap, I went out to my shed, got a bucket and went over to the service drive where I remember them dumping sand a few years ago.  I had purchased some succulent plants the other day and a cute planter to put them in.  

I put some of my pea gravel (like I used on the railing planters for drainage), then mixed a bit of sand with some potting medium, knocked the succulents out of their pots and planted them.  I had one left over--I love it--it looks like a rose.

I had a leaf shaped planter that I put a Philodendron in spring of 2012.  Maggie The Cat has eaten the thing down to a nub.  So I knocked the dirt out of that and repeated the drainage/sand/potting mixture and put the rose-shaped succulent in that.  I have them on the little table on my porch.  I think they will be able to stay out all winter--perhaps with a burlap bag around them?  I used to leave the succulents in my rock garden out all winter.  Or maybe, I will bring them because they are cute?  I probably won't though because, if I do, you know who will find them and eat them as her salad!!!

Cute--huh?  Looks like a giant coffee cup.

I love this rose one

An experiment to see how they do.

I definitely have to go on-line and find out the names for these pretties.  Someone on FB said they planted Hens & Chickens in their deceased husband's sneakers and have them outside.  Well--I still have Freddy's sneakers--just cannot throw them away.  I might just do something like that.  I could put them on the porch steps!

WOW--our Tiger's pitcher, Max Scherzer (who has one brown eye and one blue eye) just got his 10th win.  He is 10 and 0, which is a big deal.  First time since 1920 for the Tiger Team.  The Tiger's won another one and are firmly in first place in the Al Central.  Karen, Mark and some of their kids were down at the game tonight.

See ya tomorrow!!!  It's suppose to be cooler--YAY!

P.S.  I know when Dar's daddy's birthday is--I just might casually ask her what his name is and then go digging, LOL.  

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Please go to this link and read the poem.  It is so beautiful.  My friend is a wonderful writer.

http://balisha-neverenoughtime.blogspot.com/

Sunday Evening--I think

Father's Day and My Mother's Birthday--both parents not here, so no celebration for me.

Today's temperature was:  79 degrees

Today's humidity was:  55%

Sunny, with a nice breeze

No air conditioning required :-)

I was going to post last night, but...when I got around to it--it was almost 2:30 a.m. and my eyes were crossed and my head was dizzy.

I have worked over forty hours in the last four days.  Searching for Pearl's ancestor's and today--for Merle's ancestor's.  With great success, I might add.

I have been using ancestry.com--I just put in the person's name, where he/she lived, the year they were born--or a guess, and up pops all sorts of pages of census reports, death notices, on and on.

I worked up through the years.  I used the names I knew for sure, and on most of the reports, would be their kids names and sometimes (if I got lucky) their parents name, so I could go back one more generation.  I have 6 generations for Pearl and 4 for Merle.  I got all the way back, on both of their families, until I hit dead-end, because the next generation back was either in Prussia, Scotland, England.  You can get those records--if you want to spend a small fortune--which I do not and knowing them--they wouldn't even care.

Like I said before--this has been good for Pearl.  She is thinking--remembering.  It is also sometimes difficult, because Pearl goes off on tangents about uncles and aunts and cousins, that I could care less about. AND at times, Pearl gives me a person's name and come to find out--that isn't their name at all, but perhaps what a family member was called.  For instance, Carrie, was not Carrie, but Carolyn.  I know this because in the 1880 census, she was called Carrie, but in the 1900 census, she was called Carolyn and when I clicked on her name, up came her parents and siblings--back another generation.  I had two pictures of old ladies that Pearl had and on the back---not their names, but she had written Pearl's great grandmother..same inscription on both.  So, I had to call her--she couldn't under who I was describing, so I had to walk down and have her look at them and give me names.  and of course, chat for an hour. <sigh>

It's also been good for me actually--I haven't felt this involved in organizing, searching, planning anything since I did Fred's family tree--which led to car trips to Pennsylvania and Wisconsin to search out cemeteries to take pictures.  Too much fun!

Then when I get stacks and stacks of reports, I go into my Family Tree Maker software and enter all the information.  I get an ancestor tree, I get pictures--gotta scan them first, enlarge them, save them, attach them to whatever I want and then--print everything, put it in order, put in plastic sheet protectors and finally, arrange in their binder.  As you can see below--my desk area is really crowded and messed up--but I know what each pile is and where the info I need is.  I just don't  have the extra room I need!!

Stacks of stuff on the scanner, printer, keyboard.  A calculator to figure out ages.

I have a working ancestor tree, so I can mark on it and know where I am.

I do not know why these last 3 photos are rotated.

They are perfectly fine in my picture file!!

Individual family pages

I'm going to make a new title--instead of just Pearl, it is going to be Family Tree for

Pearl Elaine Cook and Merle Marvin Ott   "-)

So all I have left to do is put the whole thing together, then look every page over carefully and make sure there are no mistakes and it will be good to go and boy howdy--they are going to be surprised and probably need a lesson in how to read the thing.  

I was ready to jump in the shower this morning when Pearl called and needed me to come down.  She wanted a lesson--right then--in how to copy a picture off the internet and save it.  So we had our lessons---2.5 hours of lessons.  I showed her while she wrote down the steps--then I had her do it.

Then I came home and finally at 2:00, got myself something to eat and sat down to watch the baseball game and the U.S. Open golf tourney--switching back and forth--now that I HAVE CONTROL of the remote, LOL.

Pearl called and asked me if I could type up the "lesson steps" as she had forgotten and couldn't read her own writing.  So I jumped on the computer and did that.  Step, by step.  I even have to put "hit the enter button" in the steps or she forgets and sits there saying, "Why won't this damn computer do anything?!!"

"Well--you have to tell it to by hitting the enter button." says I.

I was planning on potting some new succulents I recently purchased and Dar walked in.  She was here yesterday when Pearl was here.  Pearl got to see Dar like she normally is around me and---Pearl did not like it!!!

Pearl was sitting in the rocking chair, so Dar pushed Buddy off the couch and sat down there...cigarette in hand.  Then she went in to her dissertation of what all she had done that day.  She is not a conversationalist--she is a lecturer and we her un-paid audience!  She did not want to hear anything Pearl and I had to say--it was, as usual, all about her.  If we tried to make a comment, you could see her fidgeting and soon she'd jump in--back to what SHE wanted to talk about.

She noticed two new novels I had laid out to take to my sister.  "Oh--can I take these?"

"No.  They are going to my sister."

"Why.  I can have it read in two days and you can still take it to her."

"No--because...when I get a brand new book, and I know I won't read it for awhile, I give it to my sister first.  She gets to open it, crack the spine and read it.  Then she gives it back to me.  She reads much faster then I do."

"Well, that's weird," says Dar.

I look over at Pearl, who is rolling her eyes.  She stands up, "I gotta get home.  It's time for supper."  and out the door she goes--of course, she calls later and goes on and on about how rude Dar is and why does she smoke in my house and she doesn't like the way Dar treats Buddy.

So today Dar comes over again, cigarette in hand with her lecture on what she did today!  She laughs her loud horse laugh and the cats go hide under the bed.  Then she says,  "I shouldn't have smoked when Pearl was here.  But, it is your home and I figured you wouldn't mind if I smoked."

"You don't smoke in your house,"  I say.

"Well, no!  I don't want to stink it up,"  Seems perfectly reasonable to her.

Then I say, "Do you smoke in Jackie's house?"

"No.  She's very allergic to smoke."

"Well, so is Pearl,"  I say.  "So if you come over and she is here, please don't smoke."

She skips over that and starts telling me....

"We were at Costco today and my brother bought a shed.  They were on sale.  Of course, you have to buy the shingles, the caulking, the paint, but he wanted it."

"How big is it?"

"It's eight by ten and seven feet tall."

"That's the size of the ones we have.  Except, most of them are at least nine feel high inside.  Seven feet isn't very tall to store stuff in the rafters."

"Oh no--it's plenty big.  You could park two cars in there."

I have had it with this woman so I retort, "You could never fit two cars in an eight by ten shed!"

"Why not?"

"I don't know.  Measure my little car on your way home and see if two that small size would fit in YOUR eight by ten shed!"

IDIOT!!!

I was going to drain the water heater tomorrow, but (delaying tactic) I think I will plant my succulents and do some laundry and.....anything I can think of.  LOL

It is quarter to eleven right now and I have not read an e-mail or gone on Face Book all day.  So I gotta do that before I go to bed.

Hope I have something interesting to write about tomorrow.

Fun Friday

Today's temperature was:  73 degrees

Today's humidity was:  35%

Sunny and a nice breeze

Do you know what I did all day?  I worked on Pearl's family tree---for 12 hours!!!

I found ancestor's she didn't know existed!!

Now I need to type up the chart and put into a nice album for her--probably another 8 hours.

That's all I did--

This has been good for her too--I ask her questions and she thinks--then she starts to remember stories of her grandma, or an aunt or a family story like her great grandma being related to a Duchess.  I have not found any evidence of that and the great grandma, who she said was always called Catherina Frederika--is actually Hannah Frederika.  (sigh)

I think we are both enjoying this.  I have a lot of pictures I have scanned into a file that I am going to include on that person's page.

Pearl's mother left her when Pearl was only two.  Her Dad couldn't take care of her, so she lived with her grandma.  I think all of this is giving her a certain continuity--to see her family all stretched out before her--how she has come down through this family and has some of their physical traits.

She hoped I would find some dirt--I did find a speck--her great great grandfather signed up to fight in the Civil War.  He enlisted in New York and five months later, in Fairfax, VA--he deserted!!  He was 45 years old with a family back in NY--he probably was just worn out.  She never even heard of this guy--so another generation opened up to her.

Anyway--I am having the best time with all of this :-)

A Perfect Day

The temperature today was:  73 degrees

The humidity today was:  56%    YAY

Sunny with a nice 10-12 mph breeze

If the weather would stay like this the rest of the summer, I would be one supremely happy woman!!!  I promise--I wouldn't be cranky, or sad, or complain about anything.  Honest!!!

I got up at 8:00, which was a bit early as I had stayed up until 2:00, watching the approaching storms on the Weather Channel and the radar on my computer.  I can put the radar into a 6 hour future and see just where the storms are (maybe) going.  When I saw the really bad stuff was going to stay south of us--I finally went to bed.

It wasn't raining nor lightning, but just as I was about to climb into bed, there was a flash and then a thunder boom that scared the cats and me.  Weird!  Just that one instance, then all was quiet.  We did get a lot of rain, nearly 2 inches, but I like the sound of that.

I walked down to Pearl's this morning.  She said, "That thunder boom made me sit right up in bed.  I thought the world was ending!"

Later, she mentioned that she and Merle were sitting in their chairs when the thunder boomed.  It's little statements like that

that worry me.

She scolded me again about being afraid of tornadoes.

"I keep telling you.  We are not on a tornado path!  This park has been here over forty years and we have never had a tornado!"

"Then--statistically--the odds are growing smaller that we are due."

"Oh--statisti--whatever--I don't care.  We aren't going to ever have a tornado!"

"Well, there had never been a tornado in Dexter either, until last year."  (Dexter is a small town south of us.)  Never been a tornado in Cohoctah either, until two years ago.  (Cohoctah a really small town north of us.)

"I don't care," she says.  "God won't let that happen here."

Okay..................

Then Pearl showed me a whole envelope of birth certificates, death certificates and pictures she has of her ancestors.  Much more then I got from her the other day.  I brought it home and searched on ancestry.com and found out great grandparents, parents names that she had never heard of.  Then I decided something.  Pearl needs a complete record of her family tree--all in one place, not scraps of info here and there--put in a nice album, the pages in sheet protectors--like the ones I have.  So, I went back and got all the stuff she showed me and the print-outs I made the other day and I am going to make a nice family tree for her.  Individual pages of the people, their children, where they lived--all of it for her.  

I love that kind of stuff and I cannot wait to get started on it.

HOWEVER--since the weather was so extraordinary today, I went out after my Soap and took my new loppers and trimmed the Lilac bushes up from the bottom.  There were so many low hanging branches that they cut out the sunlight and a lot of my tulips and daffodils planted there, didn't do too well this spring. 

Man--if you don't take care of your yard/gardens--they seem to want to return to their natural jungle state!!  I had quite a pile of Lilac branches when I was done--bundled them up in three bunches, tied them securely with twine and will put them out for the yard waste pick-up next Tuesday.

Then--I dead headed all my annuals, filled the bird feeders, checked on my few strawberries (I think the birds got them all), and my veggies, swept the porch, moved some planters around and swept the cottonwood fuzzies off my screens.

My back was screaming by then and tonight the backs of my thighs are yelling and my calves are mooing, but gosh--I feel so good!!!

Fred had drilled two small holes in the brace under the roof of my porch.  This year I have one with my hummingbird feeder and one with my Oriole feeder and no place to put up my wind chimes. I have been wanting a couple more holes along that edge, but I tried to make one with a nail and it didn't work real well.

I walked back down to Pearl's and asked Merle if he had a power drill.

"Yep."

"Well--someday, when you got nothing to do and are out in your shed and see your drill--can you come down and bring your drill and a bit--I don't know which size--that will drill through aluminum.  I want four more small holes drilled along my porch roof brace."

"Yep."

I still have to drain and flush my hot water heater and I keep putting it off.  Because---I am scared of the whole thing.  I do not like natural gas--I am scared if I turn the heater to pilot light, that it won't come back on when I am finished.  I am scared that IF it does come back on, it will poof at me when the gas ignites.  I am afraid that I won't be able to get down on my knees in that tiny space to turn the gas down.  I'm just scared of the whole thing.  Now--if Fred was here, I could do it while he watched and encouraged me, but................

I ought to get Pearl to come down, sit on the bed and watch me.  I just might do that!!!

So--tonight it is going to be in the mid-50's and no humidity, so I will sleep with the bedroom window open.  Tomorrow promises to be low 70's and sunny all day!  YAY.

Oh yeah--one of these days I gotta paint the trim on the shed and trim the bushes on the east side of my house.  I can use the electric trimmers, but I know--that chore is going to kill me.  It did last time I did it and that was four years ago!!  I just am not going to pay $50.00 to have someone else do it--dangit all.

Okay--Buddy is pacing and meowing--apparently he thinks it is time we all went to bed.  

See ya tomorrow!!!

Jude  

Wednesday--Storms?

Today the temperature was:  72 degrees

Today the humidity was:  89%  YUCK

Drizzly all day.  

Pearl called and woke me up at 10:00!!!  Honest to goodness.  I did have my alarm set for 8:00 because I've been wanting to change that habit of getting up late, but...I didn't get to sleep until nearly 3:00, so....

I didn't do a thing all day!!  Well--I watched my soap and then the baseball game--that's about it.  But it was not nice outside, so I didn't even go for a walk.

They kept warning us on TV about bad storms coming this way--60-80 mph winds--perhaps a tornado--from the storms  that were in the Mid-West.  I kept checking The Weather Channel radar map on my computer.  I have it centered on my Zip Code.  All I could see coming was green--just plain old rain.  Tonight they are saying the bad stuff probably will stay south in Ohio and Indiana, but we are suppose to get 3-5 inches of rain!  Oh well--I am not in a flood area, so not to worry.  Other then there will a soppy lawn for a few days.

The monument company called me this afternoon--they have the grave markers in.  They are mailing me a picture of them to make sure all the information is correct, and when I approve them, they will take them to the cemetery and get them placed on their bases.

This kind of creeps me out a bit.  I was okay the day I went and ordered them.  I want to get them set and get Fred's ashes buried.  I want my marker there so when I die, my kids will have one less thing to worry about.  It's just going to feel weird to go to the cemetery and see my very own, eternal resting place with my name and all--carved in stone, so to speak---like it's just waiting for me.  Shivers!!!

Almost like this is the one last chore I have to do and then....I can just sit down and wait to die.  I DO NOT want to do that!!  It just seems like that is the one major event in my life I have left--dying.  I've done everything else--no more major events to look forward to.  Some minor ones, but not ones that will directly effect me like, getting married, having babies, getting a new house--that sort of event.  I only got one more.

I hope I can get my head straight and realize that even a day like today--with nothing exciting or even interesting happening--is still a good day.  I got to see the rain and watch the cats and talk to Pearl and even see the sunshine for a bit.  Even piddly little jobs are okay--just to know we are still alive.

I just feel--have felt like I am waiting for something to happen.  Like I can't quite move forward until whatever it is, happens.  (Just had a thought--I'll bet I am waiting for the step-mother's Will to be made known.  I'll bet that's it. )
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Anyway--I got some cute pictures in the e-mail today.  Pictures of Karen's youngest daughter--Madeleine.  She is going to spend July in Oregon with her older sister.  She has been accepted to study with that city's ballet company.  Above all--Maddy loves ballet.  She just learned how to dance "on pointe" last summer.  By these pictures you will see--everywhere that girl goes, she is practicing her ballet.  Even on vacation, LOL.  In these pictures was suppose to be some of her and me, after her last recital, but apparently, Karen can't find them on her phone.    Next time--I am taking my own camera!!

She went dancing down the lane behind their house--blowing 

a "wish and blow" as she calls it, while she danced..

This is a "wish and blow".

She will be 17 in August and a Senior in high school next September.

She adores me and I feel the same way about her.  

She always tells me that knowing I am in the audience when she dances, always helps her to dance better.  

Pamela Ann Miller or P.A.M. or Pammie

The temperature today was: only 72 degrees

The humidity today was: 98%  yuck

Sunny and Humid
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She was five years old and in Kindergarten before someone pointed out that her initials spelled her name! We had not realized that! 

Our second child.  I just knew she was going to be a girl, and I had the name Jill Elaine picked out.  Her Daddy didn't like that name.  "How silly is it going to sound when she is seventy with a name like Jill?"

"No sillier then when we are seventy with the names of Judy and Gary!"  I replied.

My aunt suggested the name Pam--said she had always liked that name.  Her Daddy and I agreed.

She was always a happy child--always smiling and laughing--no matter what.  I called her Sunshine.  She had blond curly hair--still does.   

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Pammie, I call her now and she calls me, Momma.  She is doing much better.  Her new teeth have given her a certain sense of confidence and now she, once again, smiles all the time.  

She called me Sunday and we talked.  The guy who has been living with her and putting all sorts of junk vehicles and crap in her yard for the last 12 years, is beginning the process of moving out--Praise God!! He's been approved for a loan to get a place--I don't know the amount--none of my business.  HOWEVER--there are plenty of low cost housing in the area--government subsidized apartments in Byron, many trailers or manufactured homes in the area, even small stick built homes.  He says he HAS to have a garage or shop to keep his junk in and work on vehicles!!!  He can't find a place like that on what his loan will pay.

Pammie told him, "What you want and what you can afford isn't going to be the same.  You need to have all your stuff out of here and be moved out by mid-August."

"But, it's not what I want!"

Pam said, "Hold both hands out in front of you.  Poop in one and put your "I wants" in the other and see which one fills up first!"   Pammie is honest and direct--to the point, if nothing else.  You always know where you stand with her!

I am really proud of her for her stance!  None of us ever liked him--even though I have known him all his life.  He isn't abusive to her--well, probably verbally and emotionally abusive, but not physically.  He has borrowed quantities of money from her and only recently, paid part of it back.  He was injured and it took him many years to get his workman's comp and social security disability.

His mother has a place up north that he could easily move into and probably not have to buy it or pay rent.  It is up by East Tawas, near Lake Huron, on a river, and would afford him the fishing and hunting capabilities he so enjoys.

At least now, on his quest to find a place to move, he is gone all weekend and that gives Pammie the freedom she so enjoys.  When she called me, it was to thank me for the afghan I made her years ago.  "I'm in  Fred's recliner you gave me, snuggled under my wonderful afghan and watching old John Wayne movies.  Momma---it's wonderful!"

Pammie watches Jen's children three days a week and Jen pays her quite well.  Pammie stays at Jen's on Monday nights and then goes home on Tuesday night and back to work on Thursday.  She has a lot of responsibility with the four kids and that keeps her mind occupied.  Pammie never had children of her own--she had five miscarriages in her first seven years of her first marriage.  She hasn't had the knowledge of taking care of babies and children, but she sure is good at it.  The kids love her, even though she is strict with what they can and cannot do--following their mother and dad's instructions.

Pammie is a lot like me--even looks like me.  She has always been a champion for the under dog.  You should have seen some of the kids she brought home to eat supper with us or spend a few days!  She wanted them to see what a "normal" home was like, she often said.  She'd see some kid being bullied at school and she'd wade into the fracas, tell the other kids off and then take on the bullied person as her personal project to help and build up.

She reminds me of me--as the feeling of wanting to help others--to give them a happier life, tends to get us in trouble.  Haven't I done the same thing so many times and ended up with misery?

Pammie is following in my foot-steps--about twenty years behind me.  That worries me.  I remember all too well how hard it is to be without enough money.  To help someone and have them take advantage of you.  BUT--it is no reason for me to give her all sorts of unwanted advice!

Pammie is almost fifty-four.  She knows her mistakes.  She is becoming stronger and more self-reliant.  She can take care of her house and yard--and herself.  

I would NEVER remind her of her "stupid" mistakes or denigrate her in any way.  Unlike the treatment I got from my father and step-mother--with their shaking of heads--rolling of eyes, their comments of being a fool, their statements of "Well, we just hope you don't make any more stupid decisions!"

No--I would never do that to Pammie.  I support her in any way I can--I wish I could do more.  I wish I could give her ten grand to put in a savings account--just in case.  If she asks, I tell her things that I did wrong and things I did right and things she is doing that are much better then what I did--but only if she asks.  Pammie is like her mother--she rarely asks for help or advice.  We are strong, we are independent, we are stubborn.

I just hope that SOB that lives in her house has enough decency to move out with grace and not make a whole lot of trouble for her!!!

My Sunshine---

May 2013