The Forty-Two Year Secret

My sister and I, now, are the only two people on this earth that know this secret.  It has hounded us for 42 years.  Sometimes, in anger or in retaliation, we have wanted to shout it out and say, "You think you know everything?  Well--you don't know anything.  How about some truth, for once in your life!!"

It will do me good to get it written out.  You don't have to read it--it is more a "purge" via journaling then anything.  A catharsis for my mind.  Glad I didn’t post it on the last blog, but--now I can.  I need to do this.

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In 1940 a young man from Detroit moved out onto the farm bordering my parents farm. It was war time.  If you were a farmer, you were deferred from serving.  His mother was wealthy--the farm next to her brother's came up for sale.  She bought it and sent her son out to live on it.

This man, Clarence and my Daddy became very good friends.  My Daddy, a farmer all his life, helped the man learn how to till and plant the fields.  He went with him to an auction sale to purchase some cows.  They hunted in the woods that separated their farms.

My Daddy and mother had been married about 2 years--I was 1 at the time.  My Daddy and Mother's best friends in our small town, had a sister.  All these "kids" knew each from high school.  She was 2 years younger then my parents.  My Daddy and Mother set Clarence and this young woman, Helen up on their first date.  They were married in 1942. Of course, the four of them were now fast friends.  They did many things together, spent a lot of time together.

Clarence and Helen had a daughter in 1945.  She and I became play-mates.  They had another daughter in 1949--my sister was born in 1952.  The four of us girls were together--like sisters.  In fact, until we were older, we thought we were related.  We all loved each other a lot.  We went camping together--spent many happy times together.  Helen was so nice to me.  She made Salmon Patties, which I loved, and if I was down at their house playing, she'd ask me to stay for supper when she made them.  We had so many wonderful times together.  

My Mother didn't have a best friend type of relationship with Helen.  Helen liked to gossip and my mother would never say a bad thing about anyone.  They had another friend Florence.  If Helen was with Mother, she'd talk about Florence.  Mother told me once, "people that gossip about others TO you, will gossip about YOU to them."

Things were good though--Florence and her husband Richard were also friends and the three family's had hot dog roasts nearly every Sunday evening in the summer, card parties every other Saturday during the winter and they vacationed together about once a year--when the men hired men to come in and do the milking and chores for them.

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Fast forward to 1969.

It was June of 1969--near my birthday, but I don’t remember what day.  I had been to the doctor for my annual check up.  As I drove home, I decided to stop in and visit my folks.  As I was about to turn into the driveway, I saw Clarence driving out, so I stopped in the road, knowing that as he turned to go home, he would stop and chat.  He waved out the window and turned right to go south on Vernon Road.  I wondered where he was going. 

Mother and Daddy were sitting on the patio.  As I walked up, I noticed Mother was crying and Daddy was leaning forward, his arms propped on his knees, his head in his hands.

I asked what was the matter and Mother told me that Clarence had just come from the doctor.  He had not been feeling well, had a bit of pain in his chest and had some blood tests and x-rays done a week before.  Today, he had been told by the doctor that he had a blood clot, traveling in his blood stream.  It would either lodge in his brain, his lungs or his heart.  There was nothing they could do and he told Clarence he had about six months to live.

Clarence had stopped to tell Daddy and Mother and asked them to “take care of Helen” afterwards.   He also made them promise not to tell her EVER that he knew he was going to die.  He wanted to protect her now and in the future.

Mother and Daddy promised him and he left, on his way to Florence and Richard's to tell them.  I learned later that he asked Florence and Richard if they would go up to the cottage at Christmas time in case something happened to him then.  He didn’t want Helen to be alone way up in Michigan's UP.

He quit smoking immediately as the doctor had told him, smoking would make the blood clot move faster.  Within the next few months, he bought a self-propelled combine and a new camper.  He told Daddy that he paid for credit life insurance on them so that when he died, they would be paid for and that he wanted Daddy to have them and work on the farm, until Helen could get things straightened out. 

Clarence died December 26th 1969 up north, while the four of them were out riding snow mobiles.  Richard and Florence were with them and brought Helen home.

Helen use to call my Daddy to come down and help with things.  She couldn't figure out how to turn the thermostat up to get heat (?)  She didn't know how to use the garage door opener (?)  My Mother thought at times it was a ploy, to get Daddy down there, but then she knew Helen was lonely and she knew my Daddy had promised to help and she trusted my Daddy.

When Mother got very sick, in February, 1970, she told Susan that if she died, Daddy would fulfill his promise to Clarence and marry Helen and take care of her.  She told Susan to "be nice and get along."  Our Mother died about six weeks later--from unknown causes. 

Helen and Daddy got married July 4th, 1971.  Daddy, Susan and I never told Helen or her two daughter's that Clarence had known he was dying.  That he asked my Daddy to promise to take care of Helen.  It was a giant secret--but we have kept our word--all these years.

Now it is written here for you all too see.

Susan and I have always said, someday we would tell our step-sisters.  Wouldn't they want to know?  Even if just for medical history knowledge?  After Helen’s death, we decided not to tell her girls.  Helen and her girls have always been protected from bad stuff, so maybe we should keep the tradition going?

Scary Stuff

Tornado just 5 miles west of my kids and sister.

Skipped over a mile north of them.

On the north edge of my home town--2 miles north-east of my family.

Yes--I am still awake--watching the storms on the radar on my computer.  Flint, MI, took a big hit, as did a town east of there--people at a sports banquet in the school's gym--there are some still trapped.

This is all north of me, BUT--at 5:00 a tornado warning came on the TV for this county.  It looked like it was going to stay south of me, so I wasn't too worried.  I called Merle and Pearl--they didn't even know--of course you know Pearl's theory about tornadoes coming here.  There's never been one, so there never will be one.

Then--my friend Bethie called me and told me I was in the middle of it.  Just as I hung up, the tornado siren just 1 mile west of me went off.  It was raining like a s.o.b.  I didn't stand around and see on TV where it actually was.  I got in my car and grabbed Dar who was just getting home from work and drove a mile east to the small hospital--they have a basement.

I parked in the parking lot, near the entrance, facing the south west so I could watch for a funnel.  Turned on the local station to listen.  Pretty soon, a few more cars arrived from my park.  I heard on the radio that it was headed right down M-36--where Karen and her family lives--so I quickly called her cell.  She was on her way home!!!  Her hubby and Maddy were home so she called them.  That funnel never came down to touch the ground--thank goodness.

We sat and chatted with the other people in the cars and pretty soon, the rain stopped and the clouds cleared and Dar and I came home.

I was most probably in more danger driving in the torrential rain and flooded road, then if I had stayed here.  Now I will have to endear Pearl's teasing, but...............rather safe then sorry.

The thing is--that damn siren goes off if there is a funnel or tornado in the entire county!!!  I wish we had one just for this area--that storm was about 15 miles south of me.  The later one that went near my little sister's, about 20 miles north of me!!

Bethie was so concerned about me--the later storm went very near her home, by the looks of the radar!!!

Tomorrow morning, I've got to call and see if everyone is okay!!!

We still have a long train of storms coming in--clear back to Kansas--tonight and tomorrow.  Storm all the rest of the week.  As far as I can tell, it looks like the worse of it will remain north of me--Lansing, on over my sister's head and into Flint.  She is probably sleeping like a log!!!!  and here I am, still awake with my eyes crossing from tiredness!!!

Memorial Day

I looked out my front windows this morning at 8:15 a.m. and this is what I saw.  It kind of creeped me out.

I have never seen a sky like this in my life.

Sort of light on top and that grey area underneath, 

but so defined...straight across.

It almost looked like a hill or mountain range 

behind the trees.

I tried to call Pearl and Dar and Jackie to look out their west windows and see this, but they didn't answer their phones.

I wondered, "What in the world is coming at me!"  Is it a Wall Cloud?  

Half an hour later--it started to break up.

15 minutes later

and now--just going to be a cloudy, cool day.

I won't say Happy Memorial Day because, I don't see how any "memorial" day can be "happy".  

When I was a kid, we called it Decoration Day.  It was on the 30th of May.  We went to the cemeteries where our ancestors were buried, we cleaned and scrubbed off the grave markers and planted flowers. 

My grandmother was the sexton for "our" cemetery, so it was my job to help her get flags on every soldiers grave.  We didn't have the little brass flag holders back then--grandma knew every person that was buried in that cemetery--we'd start at the north end and she would point out the graves and I would carefully push a flag in front of the marker.

"There's the Horcha boy.  Oh, I remember when he went off to the war.  He was such a nice young man.  Terrible...just terrible."  On we'd go--she remembered every person from World War II on.

The flags were only left up that day and the next.  In respect to the flag and country, we went back in the late afternoon of May 31st and took them off the graves and carefully put them away.

When I got older--high school--I marched in the parade in our town.  I was in the band.  We'd gather at the high school and get in line.  There were the old vets who marched in front of us.  Their uniforms strained across their now ample stomachs.  They stood so proud as they carried the flag and their rifles.

Little kids rode behind us with their decorated bikes and--the horses and riders came last--so the rest of us didn't have to watch for horse patties along the way, LOL.

Of course, there were the local fire engines and one or two floats, pulled by a John Deere or Farmall tractor.

We'd march downtown--there was a bandstand where we put on a concert with appropriate military music--The Star Spangled Banner first and then ending with Stars and Stripes Forever.  In between songs, there was honoring of vets in the crowd--each one getting a red carnation pinned on their shirt. Prayers by the two town ministers.  Every single one of us in that crowd--even the little kids, knew what this day was all about.

Then, down through the rest of town to the cemetery.  No playing in the cemetery--the drums were muffled just to keep the beat for our, right, left.  Right, left.  The crowd was quiet!

We'd stop at a monument in honor of the army, marines and then on down to the millpond.  The soldiers lined up facing the water and shot off a three gun salute to the navy--the WRC women threw flower wreaths out onto the water.  I usually had both ears plugged with my fingers while this was going on.

Up on the hill, my friend Bethie played taps on her trumpet. It always gave me goose bumps.  Then we marched out of the cemetery--muffled drums, until we got out of the gate, and then a regular nice loud cadence and playing of marching songs back to the high school.

It sometimes rained a bit at the beginning of the parade, then the sun came out--nice and hot.  We had wool band uniforms at the time and they got wet then hot and itchy, when the sun dried them.

There usually was a baseball game after the parade.  The alumni against the high school team.  A couple of years, my boyfriend was pitching for the high school team and my Daddy was pitching for the alumni.  I didn't know who to root for.

Then home for a late afternoon hot dog roast.  One year, my uncle who sold eggs and chickens to a market in the Big City, got a watermelon from that market.  The first watermelon of the year--it was a big deal, let me tell you.

All this in a town that had around 600 population.  

They still have the parade.  It always gives me a thrill to look up the street and see the soldiers and the marching band coming over the hill.

My hometown--Byron, Michigan.  Small town USA!

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=490493441019381&set=a.490493401019385.1073741828.139525182782877&type=1&theater

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Did you know this day wasn't officially called Memorial Day until the mid '60's and wasn't on the last Monday in May until 1971?  The unions pushed for that so their workers could get a nice three-day weekend.

Don't forget.

This Is For My Blog Friend, Balisha

Hm-mm

I got nothing--it was that kind of day.

I think my tender Rosea Vinca got bit by the cold last night.  GEEZ!!

I fell asleep, in my chair, around 4:00 and didn't wake up until Pearl came down for a visit at 6:30.

Groggy the rest of the day.

Wasted day all around.

The high was 43 here today.  GEEZ

P.S.  In regards to my doctor's report--I have lost 30 pounds and I think that is why my blood work was so good.  The other reason--it's good genes.  I must have inherited that from my father's side of the family--he lived to be 92.  His grandparents lived to 88 and 96.  The greats were in their late 80's.

I should not be that healthy--I smoked for over 50 years--never drank alcohol, but smoked--and yet my lungs don't look like it.  But lung damage from smoking is an accumulated thing.  One day, the lungs can look good and 6 months later--you've got COPD.  I have never inhaled smoke into my lungs, but I'm sure the bad stuff got down in them.

There is no cancer gene in my family on either side--that doesn't mean that in this day and age with all the preservatives and the air, I still couldn't get it, but for 6 generations, there has been no cancer--we just have crippling arthritis.

So--it is nothing I am doing right--it's just dumb luck :-)

Grey--Cold and Other Stuff

I slept with a couple of windows open last night and when I woke up--it was 65 in this place.  So, like the wimp I am, I turned on the furnace to take the chill off and...have left it on all day!!

It is dreary out there today--rainy, windy, cold.  BUT--no severe storms so I am happy.

I got a new phone number about eight months ago--when I bundled it with the Internet and Cable TV. On and off over these months, I have received phone calls from three credit companies that wanted to talk to "Frank".  At first, I'd say, "There is no one here by that name."  They kept calling.  Then I'd explain, "I just got this phone number--it must have been his."  They kept calling.  Last week, I finally got his last name from one of the companies.

I went to my computer last Friday and to the White Pages site and typed in the guys name.  Nothing too much came up.  So I put in my phone number and up came everything.

I found his address.  I also found out he was born February 4, 1950 and DIED March 3, 2012.

So Monday, I called back each company and told them what I had found.  They were really quite nice about it all.  One lady said, "Gosh--we use White Pages all the time, but I never found out all that information.  We ought to hire you to find the people who owe us money!"

Which makes me wonder--if I could find it so easily, why couldn't they?  I don't think I will have any more creditors calling for Frank.  Rest his soul!
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Pearl needs a new doctor.  Hers is so inept that is it scary.  I have been telling her to call the doctor her husband goes to.  He was Fred's doctor and he is great!  Finally--after months and months, she finally got up the courage to call.  Guess what?  He isn't taking any more patients that are on Medicare.  Why?  Obama Care.  Under the Affordable Health Care Act, doctors are getting paid much, much less from Medicare and so, they can't afford to take on any more, because their costs have gone up.  New office staff has to be hired to fill out the many more paper work.   Despicable!!!!!  We need to repel that program, IMHO!!!

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So--while I was at my doctor's I asked him if he still took Medicare patients.  He does!!  He is a fairly young doctor--use to work the ER.  He started his own practice seven years ago.  I was his second patient.  He is also head of the nursing homes in this area--so most of his patients are older.  He said, "This Obama s**t really has messed up the medical community.  No one wants to take on older patients because Medicare no longer pays as much as they used to.  BUT--I am not going to neglect my seasoned citizens!"  I also got the name of a highly recommended rheumatologist for Pearl to see.

It may have been a wasted trip today--out in the rain--fifteen minute delay trying to get through a construction zone, but I guess I am glad I went.  I wanted to talk to him about the blood work, mammogram and chest X-ray I had last week and the lower then normal blood pressure.  I haven't seen him in a year, so............the blood work is perfect!  The good numbers are up and the bad ones, down.  The mammogram is normal.  When I was in the ER last December, they did a chest x-ray and said I had a nodule in my left lung.  It is no longer there--if it ever was!!!  Personally, ER did the x-ray while I was in bed, sitting up.  I think it was a shadow of my left nipple, to be perfectly frank with you.  The x-ray showed clear lungs--no shadows--no problems.  He isn't at all concerned with the blood pressure.

"You should be happy it is low!  That bottom number is when your heart is at rest.  What it indicates is that  your heart and arteries are not old and stiff.  It's great!"  He thinks the loss of the 30# since January 2012, is the "cause".  He listened to my heart, lungs, ankles, carotid arteries and pronounced that I wasn't aging, I was "youngering".  I am in better health then I was last year--2 years ago--five years ago.

He wants to see me in three months.  I only like to go once a year.

I said, "If nothing is wrong...can I wait a year?"

He then said, "Okay--three months."

I said, "Let's compromise.  Six."

He said, "Three is good."

I said, "Okay.  We'll compromise. I'll be back in October (5 months.)".  We shook hands and I kidded around with the office staff--got print outs of my mammogram and chest x-ray and came home.

So--it almost felt like a wasted trip, but with that kind of news, it has me feeling quite high, actually.

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Tonight, I drove about 15 miles to watch my grand daughter, Madeleine, dance in her ballet school's Presentation Night--sort of like the year end recital.  Girls--and one boy--from age 4-to young adults.  Maddy has been going to this school since she was 3.  The little ones are so adorable--a bit unsteady on their feet and tippy-toes, but so darn cute.  They danced to "This Little Light of Mine" tonight.  This ballet school is called Fountain Dance Ministry--it is Christian based.  They have over 100 students.  I have seen Maddy dance in the Nutcracker Ballet, which this school puts on every December--three performances, that are always sold out.  Tonight however, I was so emotionally touched by the last dance, especially.  The tears just poured down my face--glad I was sitting in the back row tonight.  I watched Maddy, and it looked like she was transported--to--I don't know how to explain it.  I felt like I was in church.  I wanted to stand, put my hands in the air and Praise God.

Afterwards, I saw one of the teacher's and she recognized me.  She grabbed me by the arm, pulled me over by the wall and said, "When Madeleine dances--the look she gets on her face...it's like...like... she is in rapture!  Do you know what I mean?"

I certainly do!!!

This July, Madeleine will be staying with Susanna, her older sister in Portland, Oregon, and has been accepted to study with the Portland Ballet Company.

Do these young people really realize all the opportunities they have?

Maddy always likes to be able to see me in the audience.  She tells me that me being there, helps her dance her very best.  Well, tonight she couldn't see me from the stage, but she knew I was there.  Afterwards, she came up to me and hugged and kissed me and told me how much it meant for me to be there.  Karen's children--they are always so appreciative of me.  It makes me feel that I really am important--at least to them.

Thank you, God!!!
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Tonight, it is 40 degrees outside.  No prediction of frost, so I think my plants will be okay, but when I got home and got out of my car, I could see my breath!

Changes Are Going To Be Made!!!

Last night when I went to bed, I set my alarm for 8:00 a.m.  I hear you laughing!!  You all get up early.  I am a night owl, so I tend not to go to bed until midnight and then, usually not asleep for half an hour.  BUT--that will change.  Well, not my bedtime, but my arising time.  I am such a slug, I will sleep in until near 10:00.  Not good!!!  Too much sleep!!!   

My friends all get up at around 7:00.  They tease me that the "day is half over when you get up."  I tell them, "I see no reason on earth to get up that early, unless I have an appointment or church."
Let's face it, kids.  The days are long and empty enough around here, without adding another hour or so to the morning.  Besides, a lot of my friends take naps in the afternoon.  They are yawning by two in the afternoon. Two in the afternoon is just when I am getting started!!!  So I tell them, if they ask if I nap, I say, "Yes.  From seven until nine in the morning."

Anyway--I am going to start getting up earlier!!!  At least during Daylight Savings Time.

I am also drinking less Diet Pepsi and more water and iced tea.  I bought some special tea bags just for brewing iced tea.  BLECH!!!  I noticed my sister buys her iced tea.  It comes in a jug and has a bit of lemon and sugar in it.  BLECH!!!  So I went looking and found TradeWinds--which comes sweetened or not.  I got the unsweetened and BOY HOWDY is it ever good!!  It is mellow and tasty and no bitterness.  

This morning, I was out on the road by 10:00--on a quest to find one of those expandable, flexible hoses like advertised on TV.  I have a nice box that contains my two hoses--with a handle to reel it up with, but--the dang hose is so heavy to pull out.  I have to tug it and lug it over to the the extreme side of my lot in order to get enough hose to then, walk around to the front--without dragging it through my gardens.

My Face Book friends have been raving about this new type hose.  How light-weight it is.  How easy to use.  When you turn off the water--the dang things coils itself up!!!  I mean--it looks like a living thing!!

This was the Consumer's Report review:  "We even found a clear winner, the Pocket Hose, if you want higher flow far from the spigot but have wimpy water pressure."

My FB friends told me what stores, in their area, sold them.  So--off I went to the same stores in my area.

The opening question was, "Do you sell the expandable, flexible, pocket hose that is advertised on TV?"

Lowes--"No."
Home Depot, Howell--"I don't think so. Let me check. No."
Home Depot, Brighton--"I just started work here. You'll have to check along the back wall."
Ace Hardware--"The what? Nope. Oh, wait. You mean this? Well it's flexible!"
Bordines Nursery--"Let me check. No--sorry."
Bed, BB--"Is that for a dryer? We don't carry those kinds of things."

Came home--Website--click, click, put in mailing address, click. It's on it's way. Seven days.
Had to pay shipping--cheaper then running all over the county.
Priceless.

I can't wait to get it and test it out--we shall see how good it works.  Then--just maybe, Merle and Pearl will want my hose reel box and I can get rid of it--they can have the hoses in it too.  Just come and get it, LOL
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Merle fixed the brace on the bottom of my shed door.  He wanted too--I didn't even notice until last week that it was falling apart.  Oh, I gotta tell you this conversation--Sunday afternoon.

Ring--ring.

"Hi, Pearl.  What's up?"

"Can you hear that sawing?  It's driving me nuts!  Someone is sawing down your way."

"I don't hear anything."

"There--now do you hear it?"

"Nope."

"Well, someone is sawing down there.  Go tell them to stop!  ha ha."

So I hang up the phone and walk outside--down to the next corner--only about 50 feet, down that street to the next corner and then cut cross lots by the neighbor behind me and came in and called Pearl.

"I have been around the block and there is no one sawing down this way.  Are you sure it isn't behind you.  You know how sounds echo in this place!"

"You walked all around the block?"

"Well, no--but I walked down to the corner and up that street.  No one is even outside, let alone sawing."

"Okay."

I hang up.

It wasn't a minute and she called back.

"It's Merle.  He's sawing out here in the patio--by the shed."

I started laughing so hard, I started coughing and couldn't get my breath.

"It's Merle?  Right outside your window.  And you--didn't know?"

"I thought he was out riding his bike.  I didn't know he had come back.  He's making the thingie to fix your door."

OMG.  I hung up and laughed for another ten minutes.  Didn't know it was right outside her window!

So--anyway--every morning, when I threw the cat litter clean-up bag out in the garbage pail, I looked over at my shed.  That door still looked the same.  White, with black trim on the corners and around the door.  I didn't see any new, raw wood brace.

Tuesday afternoon, Merle called.  "Did you notice I fixed your shed door?  It should open easier now."

"No.  I didn't see any new wood on there."

"I painted it black.  Gotta keep it from rotting."

I walked to the porch and saw it.

"You painted it?"

"Yes."

"Well---why didn't you paint the rest of the trim?  It needs it!"

He started laughing.

I said, "I mean--there you were.  Paint brush in hand.  Can of black paint open and...you couldn't paint the rest of the trim?  What kind of friend are you?"

So we hooted and hollared for awhile and then hung up.
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I transplanted 3 hostas today--the varigated ones.  The big leafed

green one was already there.

I have another green one that will go on the other side of the

other varigated one--these are under my Lilacs and Rose of Sharon bushes.

Yes--I dug the holes by myself   :-)

I noticed today, when I was out working my in gardens, that the huge Rose of Sharon bush in back of my house is dead!  That's two that I have lost since I lived here.  They are a beautiful bush, that blooms in August, but--it appears that when they get old, they get rotten.  I was outside when one of the maintenance men that works in the park, came walking by.  Aaron--who used to do lawn work for me before he got the maintenance job.  I waved him over and asked, "Do you have a chain saw?  I need this cut down to ground level and hauled away."

"Sure--I can do it for ya."

"Whenever you have time.  No rush.  It isn't going anywhere!"

So that chore will be taken care of.  Probably cost me fifty bucks--but worth it.

We got three nice rain storms today and it is getting real chilly tonight.  Just a nice rain--no lightning or thunder with it.  I knew Mother Nature could give us rain without all that other chaos thrown in.

Tomorrow afternoon, I have my doctor's appointment-  I haven't seen him in a year.  Since my blood work was all right, and no one has called to say anything is wrong with my mammogram or chest x-ray, I assume everything is fine.  I want to talk to him about this low blood pressure issue I am having.  The severe dizzy spells are driving me nuts!!

Later----Jude