I sat here, Thursday morning, and composed a post entitled, "Lost My Joy".
For the last couple of months, I have been sad, depressed, no ambition to do anything. I was dreading going to lunch that afternoon. Just didn't want to drive--see people--have to make conversation. I didn't even feel like stopping in at The Farm, on the way home.
Hunting for a logical excuse to stay home. There was none.
I figured I HAD to go. I didn't publish that post, hoping that perhaps, if I went to lunch, maybe I'd have something better to post when I got home.
I dragged myself into the shower. I loaded the dishwasher. I kept looking at the clock, dreading Noon, when I had to leave. I slowly got dressed, I don't even remember what I wore.
The Cuckoo clock told me it was Noon. I loaded up my stuff, and with a sigh, got in the car.
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I wasn't particular with my driving. I had set my cruise control on 55mph and was looking around at the fields and the changing colors on the trees. Trying to find something to smile about.
Noting different houses, farms. The roads so familiar to me, meeting another car, every few miles. Never any traffic of any kind, until I get to Durand.
That is probably why I didn't make a full stop at that stop sign. I know that corner well. When coming from the Farm, which is west of that stop sign, I always stop. The brush is so high on one side of that corner, I usually stop twice. Once at the sign, then ease out and stop again, trying to see. This time, I was coming from the East and I could see real well.
Also, I had been thinking about my best friend, Arlene's childhood home, that I just just passed. Thinking about her and our times together. I saw no traffic, besides it is a 4-way stop, so I just turned right and went on.
At the next stop sign, another 4-way stop, I was so enthralled at noticing and exclaiming about the Purple and Gold mums, no cars coming, I "may" have idled through.
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Then I had my encounter with Deputy Lawson. After our 15 minute relationship, I found my self laughing. Smiling as I drove along. Excited to tell my friends about the encounter. Knowing they would laugh and joke about it with me. I was a real speed demon in High School, so they thought I had been stopped for speeding. "Ah--you finally got caught!" they all said.
I don't remember much about lunch, I was still thinking about Deputy Lawson.
Out to The Farm where I told my sister and BIL about my encounter.
"We always stop at that stop sign. I've seen cars blow right through there."
"Hm-mm. Maybe that's why Deputy Lawson was there. Complaints to the Sheriff and he sent him there that day to watch?"
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Friends, I don't know the how or why, but I have found my joy again, and it's Deputy Lawson's fault.
I wake up every morning smiling again. I say a prayer for him, with a smile. I can still see his face and hear his voice and all we talked about.
As one of you commented on my Friday post, "It was a God sighting."
I had been praying for God to help me find my joy again. Praying for the last month. So discouraged. So sad and depressed. Feeling so alone. Then I met Deputy Lawson.
Nothing has changed in my circumstances. I still don't have enough money each month. I'm still alone. I still fear dying in the middle of the night and not being found for a week--or more. Everything is still the same, but...I have found my joy and positiveness that God will sustain me.
There is no one that could ever convince me, being stopped by the Deputy was just a coincidence. God put Deputy Lawson in my path that day. I know it for sure!!