A poem to be continued for the next 12 days:
It’s the first day of Christmas,
And what do I see?
A dang Partridge sitting up high,
In my leafless Maple tree.
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You all know how excited I was that Jennifer and the kids were coming to our family Christmas Eve. I think I also mentioned that I was going in with no expectations. I would greet her and the kids the same way I greet any of my other children/grandchildren. But I gotta tell you, all the way up to The Farm, in the grey, rainy weather, I had a big smile on my face.
My brother-in-law hauled all my stuff in and my sister greeted me with, "Jen and the kids aren't coming. Evan got Norovirus from his grandma on the cruise and now Elise has it." My heart hit the slate floor and then she said, "Oh, and Pammie has been with them all week and she is afraid she might be carrying it, so...she isn't coming either." I wanted to just fall on the slate entryway floor and scream and cry and throw one of those kinds of tantrums I used to throw when I was three!
Pam did come up with her gifts for us, but she had on a mask and dropped the gifts off and left.
Then Karen and Mark arrived with their kids and brought the gifts Jennifer had for us and her planned dish of Deviled Eggs. (I did not eat any of the eggs from the Norovirus infested home!)
I really tried to be cheerful and I think I fooled everyone that was there. We all sang carols, while Susan played the piano--like we always used to when our Mother was alive and then Chuck showed us a video he had made of Christmas 1999--when Karen's kids were young.
My son Mark and his partner, Cindy
Karen & Mark
Karen's Kids and my Plus One (grandson in-law)
My nephew Adam and his wife and Kate.
At 3:30, Karen & Mark and the kids had to leave to make it 4:30 Mass, it was getting dark and I wanted to start home too. I was also so worn out and tired I felt like I was getting sick.
I was still so upset so, I stopped at Pammie's on the way home because I wanted to see her open one particular gift from me--the photo collage I had done of her farm--from 1922 on. We got to talking and griping and I felt better when I left at 5:00.
Of course, it was already dark. I do not see well enough to drive very well after dark and my parting words to Pammie were, "Well, I'll probably crash into a tree and die on the way home, but I don't care! I'll never see you again, so I want you to know that I love you!"
She laughed as I ran through the downpour to my car. She had no idea that, at that time, I really thought crashing into a tree and dying would be a perfect end to Christmas Eve 2014.
I was a very difficult drive! Every car I met--their headlights, glaring off the wet dark pavement, the rain pouring down, blinding me. I decided to drive the last 10 miles home the back way--knowing it would be better than having to look at oncoming traffic.
I no more than got in the door and the phone rang. It was Pammie. "I called fifteen minutes ago and you didn't answer and I got a bit worried that you might have crashed into a tree. "
"It was a bad drive, but I made it. Took me about twenty minutes longer than normal. No, I'm not dead--darn it."
"Love you, Momma. Merry Christmas."
"Bah! Humbug!"
I couldn't sleep and finally at 1:00 am, I got up and sat in my chair and just cried and cried. When they move to NJ, I probably will never have another Christmas with Jen and her family!
Then, I cursed myself of being TOO excited and feeling such anticipation of such a wonderful time. When will I learn that NOTHING turns out the way I'd like anymore!
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I woke up around 10:00 Christmas morning and felt like someone had beat me up. Karen had invited me to come down to their house for dinner, at 3:30. Her in-laws were going to be there for their Christmas.
I had promised her kids, the night before, that I would see them on Christmas day, so down I went. We had a nice turkey, stuffing, potatoes kind of dinner--the Thanksgiving turkey dinner I had missed out on.
They were wanting to have their "tree", so we took some pictures and I was home by 5:00. Perfect!
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Woke up this morning, feeling a lot better, but not in the mood anymore for Christmas, so I have spent the day, packing it all away.
I did get a nice "haul"--gift cards and some $$$ and this nice picture of Jennifer and her family. She has lost 50# and looks like her gorgeous self again.
At least I know, she was VERY disappointed that she and the kids couldn't come. That makes me feel a bit better.