title explained

Onward and upward! something that you say in order to encourage someone to forget an unpleasant experience or failure and to think about the future instead and move forward.

My e-mail: jjmiller6213@comcast.net

Wednesday, March 1, 2017

Predictions

My predictions for 2017 was it was going to be a year full of change.

One of those changes will be happening on March 30th.

Have you ever gotten news and you felt a cold band wrap around your mid-section?  That's the way I felt.

My doctor called.  My Colo-Guard stool sample test came back positive.  I have to have my first and I hope last, colonoscopy that day.  I'm not worried about the prep.  It will be spring-time by then and as my Grandma would say every spring, "You need a good cleaning out!"  My Mother would bring out the worm medicine and laxatives and if that didn't work, a warm soapy enema was in the offing.  

I am worried about the results.  I have had bouts of severe diarrhea and then constipation since July.  That's one of the "signs".

Every year I have the FIT test, which is a stool sample smear and all have been negative.  Then, on reading about this Colo-Guard test, I see there are a lot of people who have had false positives and clear colonoscopies.  But still.........................................

I have my lung CT scan on the 15th.  I sure hope that one goes okay.  My voice is still hoarse and that too is one of the "signs".  My chest x-ray last fall came back good, but chest x-rays don't always show tiny lung tumors. So....................................

GEEZ!!!  I'm falling apart!!

Well, if I'm going to talk the talk, I am going to have to walk the walk and put all of this in God's hands.  Not that He causes any of these health problems, but that He will help me get through whatever the future brings.
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Yesterday we had strong thunderstorms, high winds and a nearby tornado in Michigan.  Today, we are expecting snow this late afternoon.

I have to deal with the inkjet refill place again.  The black refills do not work!  Neither one!  I have tried them both in both of my printers, so I know, it is not a printer problem.  I should just break down and buy a new black inkjet at Staples and then---I'd know for sure.  They are so expensive--the new ones.  The refills are about half the price.  Oh---I just don't know what to do!!!!!!!!!!!!

After that, I go to the torture chamber.  So far all the maneuvers have done is cause my nerves to become more inflammed.  I don't think my left shoulder will ever get back into it's correct position--it comes forward a bit, but I am in it until the end of the treatments.
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So, today is Ash Wednesday.  I'm not Catholic so I don't get to have ashes on my forehead, dripping down my nose and I sure hope I don't tell someone they have a "smudge of dirt" on their forehead, like I mistakenly did last year.

I did learn something last night, as I watched Mother Angelica on TV.  The ashes are a sign to make us remember death.  That we all are going to die and return to ashes.  That knowledge seems to be an everyday thought in my life as I age.  I don't need a one-day reminder.

I know that Lent is a time of atonement and sacrifice.  We Methodists never "gave up" stuff for Lent.  When I was in the 9th grade, before going into my Algebra classroom, I stated to my friend that I was going to "give up Algebra for Lent".  Not realizing that my teacher was right behind me and heard that comment and was not pleased.

I rather like to take on something new for Lent.  Like calling a friend just to say I thought of them, or an e-mail or a note.  I think one day I will go over and visit Dar and her Dad and one day visit Merle and Pearl and one day visit Jackie.  

I never have quite understood why Catholics have the 40 days of Lent at this time of year.  Jesus went out into the desert for 40 days BEFORE He started His ministry, not 40 days before He went into Jerusalem and His death.  

Although, it IS a good time to have a period of thought and atonement BEFORE His crucifixion.  After all, He did it all for us.  Then the joyousness of Resurrection.  Christians would have no "religion" without His Resurrection.  

Sure, His birth was significant, but our church year begins on Resurrection Sunday--Easter.  If He hadn't come out of that grave alive, He would only be a great prophet.  He would not be the Son of God and we would not have all the promises He gave us to believe in.

So, March is coming in like a Lion.  Many will be anointed with the sign of the cross made on their foreheads with ashes mixed in oil and the rest of us have spring-time to look forward too.  A time of new life, as baby animals are born and flowers come up out of their cold, dark winter graves.

I'd say, there are a lot of reasons for celebration!

Tuesday, February 28, 2017

A Fun Day--mostly..........

A nice day yesterday.  I dropped off the genealogy book that needed binding on my way to Physical
Therapy.  When I walked into the PT office, I thought I recognized the coat hanging on the rack.  Then I heard the loud moaning and a couple of loud, "STOP!"  Dar was on the therapist's table.

As I walked past to get to the exercise bike, she reached out her hand and said, "Judy!  Save me!"
I turned and looked down at her and said, "Pick up thy mat and walk, my child." and made a sort of sign of the cross over her.  I thought Lori, the therapist was going to fall down laughing.  Dar just moaned and said, "Oh, get away!"

Just last week, she had made fun of me and scoffed, when I told her the therapist had hurt doing the maneuvers.  She had never had my therapist---until today.  HAH!!!  

As she walked past me, she was barely moving.  "My turn," I called cheerfully and then helped Dar on with her coat and held the door open for her.  She grunted and moaned as she walked to her car.

Then it WAS my turn and I clenched my teeth and never let one moan escape.  HAH!
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I have been wanting new tier curtains for this computer room.  At night, with my lamp on, you can see me quite plainly from the outside.  So after PT, I stopped at Bed, Bath and Beyond and of course they didn't have the ones I had seen on-line, but the very nice sales lady said she could order them there and have them delivered to my home--free shipping.

As we put all the information into the computer, she asked if I had brought my 20% off coupon.  I hadn't and could see it sitting on my desk at home.  I told her that I also had an e-mail one which was the same.

She said, "Don't tell anyone I did this," and commenced to click away on the computer--adding the discount and special promo codes.  I had seen the original total and inwardly groaned at the $100.00, thinking I should not spend that.  When she was done clicking away, the total was down to $68.79--now that is a good price for curtains for three windows.  

The curtains are cotton, so they will keep any after-dark walkers from looking in and seeing me sitting at my computer.  
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Then I stopped at Taco Bell and ordered 3 soft tacos--I had such a craving for them.   I stopped at the print shop and picked up the book and was home.

Now, mind you, it was only 3:45 and you know what I did?  I sat there and wolfed down all of those Tacos.   Consequently, when 6:00 and supper time arrived, I wasn't a bit hungry.  I had some Cheerios and milk.
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I got a private FB message from Dar.  She said she was really sore and thought that Lori (the PT) was too rough on her.  I wrote back that Lori is the best one there and no pain, no gain, and that in the long run, she'd feel better for the deep, tissue massage and acupressure.
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I am ashamed to have such critical thoughts about Dar.  I know that she is really hurting.  It's just that she brags about what a high tolerance to pain she has, "I can withstand a lot more pain than most normal people."  She tells how hard it is for her to walk and yet, she and her Dad and her friend spent 6 hours walking around an historic town north of here and said to me, "You wouldn't have made it."

I need to readjust my thinking and become more sympathetic, caring and understanding.  I can be such a nasty, witch with the unsaid thoughts that go on in my head.  I don't like that about myself.

Monday, February 27, 2017

Nutzy Cuckoo Neighbors

It felt awfully early, Saturday morning when the alarm went off.  8:00--time to get up.  It was a struggle and I looked out the window.  Our record setting temperature from the day before, was now in the 30's and it was snowing.

I got the cats fed and went to the bathroom and so wanted to lay back down, but....8:15 is good enough to stay up.  Put my mug of milk in the microwave, got the milk nice and hot, two scoops of Nestle's Quik stirred in and came in to turn on the computer.  

I glanced down at the lower right hand corner to see what day it was and the time said: 7:20.

Wait.  What?

I trudged back to the bedroom.  My bedside clock said: 8:21.  Back to the kitchen to check the stove, microwave, my weather station.  All clocks read: 7:23.  

Oh Good Grief!!!!!  When I set the alarm, I must have pressed one time too many on that button and set it an hour early?

You would have thought I'd get a lot done, waking up an hour early.  That was not the case!
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I did have an interesting day Sunday though.

My neighbor Tammie came to visit.  She is the girl next door who claims to be a Wiccan.  At one time a Catholic and later a Seventh Day Adventist.  Her husband deals in magic, so when she met him, she started getting involved in that and the worshipping of different gods and goddesses.

She came over to inform me she has had a miracle sent from God and now belongs to a "Women for Jesus" group.  I have noticed lately, that her belligerent attitude and her penchant for FB arguing with people has tapered off.

Apparently she had a bill that was due, had not been paid for six months.  She has reacted to the company she owed in her normal angry way, but decided to get a bit humble and try and negotiate with them.  Glory Be--they are working with her and the pressure is off.  She sees this as a miracle because God knew she needed help.

Now, her life plan is to convert her husband from his "wicked ways".  "Can't he see that all his illnesses and surgeries the last two years are because he was worshipping the devil and being punished by God?"

I tried to explain a couple of things to her, but she is filled with the "fire", so I decided to let the Women for Jesus' group counsel her.  

"All you have to do is ask and God will give you everything."

I tried to caution that, "Sometimes His answer is 'No'," and encouraged her to keep praying because, "God and prayer WILL help you get through hard times easier." but, as I said, she is filled with the fire of a new convert, so best I let her find her own way.
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On the other hand, my other neighbor, Dar, who has claimed that Jesus sits on a chair next to her bed, seems to have fallen by the wayside.  She was over for a visit Friday night and I noticed crude words and a couple of "damn's" slipped into her conversation.

That would not have happened a year ago.  She found a church that she really liked, she said.  She went twice.  It was difficult because she sometimes had to work on Sunday morning and Wednesday nights when they had services.

She hasn't worked for 10 months and I had inquired as to how she liked her church.  

"Oh, I haven't been."

"Why not?  You have lots of time now."

"They didn't have any groups I wanted to join."

I guess to her, church is like a social gathering place.  She wants to be involved and for people there to "know" her good works?

When her Dad, a self proclaimed Atheist moved in, it was "God has sent Dad to me to show him The Way.  I know that is my mission."  She even got him, a life-long Democrat, to vote for Trump--which she took great glee and credit for.

Now she says she has doubts because God allowed her to be in that accident and that's when her troubles began.  She is in pain.  She can't work and God knew how important to her it was to work and be out and about everyday.  God seems to have left her.

I tried to counsel her in the same way I did Tammie.  "God never said you'd have a life without problems, but He will help you get through them.  Continue to pray."
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Both of these women are nutz!  I've thought that from the minute I met them.

I do not have enough training in theology to counsel either of them, or anyone else, for that matter.

I only know what works for me.  What I have witnessed in my last five years.  Things that could never be, "just" a coincidence and had to be a God whisper.  I guess both of them will have to find their testimony too. 
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Then, there's Merle and Pearl and Jackie.  Strong, yet quiet Christians.  Merle and Pearl can't attend church anymore, but they watch on TV Sunday morning and read the Bible every day and pray.  Jackie attends church every Sunday, but doesn't feel the need to get involved in the groups.  She reads her Bible every day and prays.

Tammie and Dar wouldn't do a thing for anyone, unless they got credit and praise for it, and they'd tell everyone what they had done.  Merle/Pearl and Jackie would give you their last slice of bread and wave away any sign of thanks.  

If you asked, they would give you their testimony and a God Bless You, to go along with it.  

I think I prefer the ones who lead quietly by example.  


Friday, February 24, 2017

I can never think of a title for my posts, so.............................whatever.

I decided it was time for me to put away my prideful nature for a bit and go back to the food pantry.  I haven't been since June.

Yesterday I went shopping for food,  I wanted to buy a roast so I could Crock-Pot it and have vegetables and the whole ball of wax.  Have you priced a cut of roast lately?

When I got home, I called Gleaners and got an appointment for this morning.  I found a nice frozen hunk of Choice roast beef.  The price on it was $18.50!! I also stocked up on diced tomatoes (for my spaghetti sauce), found a nice small cake from Meijers--which when I bought last month was $4.00.  Also a big bag of frozen vegetables--carrots, onions, celery--which will be great with my roast.  Also some King Hawaiian rolls.  John gave me some last fall--I had never had them before.  Oh my!  Delish!

Anyway, I am allowed 60# of food and I rarely get over #24.  Today I got #30.  I only take what I am going to need for a month.  There are so many that are worse off than I am, so if there are 20 bottles of water, I will take 5.  15 cans of cat food, I took 4.  Also got a can of Salmon, a dozen eggs and crackers to make Salmon patties.  

When I got home, I kept half the eggs and Hawaiian sweet rolls and took the rest up to Merle and Pearl's.  I wouldn't use a dozen eggs in 3 months.

Actually it felt kind of good to go back and see a couple friends who work there and when I got home, it was nice to tote in that extra food.  If any of you contribute to food drives and the like, thank you.  It is very helpful for us poor people.  
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I also had to drive on up to the print shop.  I took my pedigrees in Monday.  I hadn't heard a thing, so I called them yesterday and they said the copier that they use for the long, landscape paper had broken down.  I asked them to call when they got my copies done--no rush, no problem.

They called early this morning.  I think what really happened--they were kind of busy Monday and I think they put my order off to the side and just forgot about it.  HAH!  Oh well.  I have the pedigree pull-outs in the genealogy book and ready to take it in to be bound on Monday.  It turned out really nice and a pretty thick one.  Lots of information.

I often think that someday--in the way far distant future, a person will run across one of my books that his great grandmother had me do and get information and enjoyment out of it.  That would be wonderful.  I think these genealogy books could become family heirlooms and treasures.  Not because of me, I am only the go-between, but for the interest of their family background.  
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Unusual weather today.  Very warm, with severe thunderstorm watches and warnings, followed by a cold front tonight and some snow this weekend.  

Enjoy your weekend, whatever the weather.
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4 months old today.




Thursday, February 23, 2017

Is it spring or is winter just around the corner?

Don't any of you have to answer those kinds of medical/health/social questions?  I have too every year for my Medicare Wellness check.  When I go in for my mammogram, I have to fill out a questionnaire--same at the PT office.  When I go in for my lung CT scan, I probably will again.  Then they ask the required questions like. Do you have black lung disease.  Are you a veteran. Do you have insurance through an employer and of course, with each new medical doctor, they inform you of the HIPPA regulations.

Sometimes I make funny notations, if I am writing the answers myself.  Like the "Are you sexually active?"  I write, "Only in my dreams."  or "Not at the moment."  Stuff like that--just to give them a laugh or throw them a curve.  One time I put down, "None ya."  (None ya business.)

This kind of paperwork is ridiculous.  Sometimes they give me an I-Pad to use and the pen they give me never works on the dang thing.  I think they may use these questionnaires for government surveys or polls of some kind.  The government likes their statistics and demographics.  Someone is working in an office in DC, making $100K a year just to record all the stats on how many women/men over 70 are sexually active.  HAH
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Beautiful day today.  Sunny and 67 degrees.  Tomorrow we are expecting a cold front to come through and along with it....severe thunder storms and.........tornadoes?  Yeah--we are going to have a tornado watch.  In February.  In Michigan.  Weirdest February I have ever lived through.  

I had a strange moment today.  I had to run up to Walmart for cat food and prescriptions.  Had a nice shopping trip, got home, unloaded with no problems, put everything away and sat down to relax.  All of a sudden, I had the strongest ache for missing Fred.  Tears just started running down my cheeks--and you all know---I never cry.

It came so quickly and for no known reason, but it was deep and it was hurtful.  I almost felt like he was near--just out of reach.  Very strange.  Very palpable pain and sadness.  I don't know why.




Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Social Interactions

My poor physical therapist!!  I think she thinks I may be a lost cause.  On our first meeting Monday, which I thought was only to fill up paperwork and do a evaluation on what I needed, but instead turned into an hour long torture session, must find me quite anti-social.

I hadn't worn my glasses so she had to answer the questions for me.  Put a little "x" in the box of yes or no.

"Do you exercise?"    NO.   "Okay, no need to ask you how much or how many times a week."
"Do you walk every day?"  NO.  "Okay, no need to ask you how far you walk."
"Do you belong to any social clubs?"  NO.  "Okay."
"Do you attend functions at a senior center?"  NO.  "All right."
"Do you go out to eat frequently?"  NO
"Do you go to movies?"  NO.
"Do you attend church regularly?"  NO.
"Do you visit with family members at least once a week?"  NO.

Then she looked at me.  "What DO you do?"

"Lots of things.  I'm always busy.  I cross stitch.  I spend a lot of time on my computer.  I love to garden.  I crochet and knit.  I do housework and laundry."

"Do you cook?"  Not if I can help it.
"Is there someone who would come into your home and assist you if you needed it?"  NO.

That's when she got it into her head that I should join a water aerobics class or a fitness center.  "It would get you out and you could socialize with people."

"That is the last thing I want to do!"

She looked at me again.  Then she started working on me and I said...................

"Okay--let me tell you my story.  For some 30 years I was involved in everything.  Starting with being a room mother, the PTA president.  The secretary for the Little League baseball team and the official scorer, where I was at the baseball field three nights a week.  Saturday nights I was also there because my Dad was a softball coach and I was his assistant and scorekeeper.

I organized a woman's golf league with two flights and 80 players and was scorekeeper and secretary of that.  I planned all the tournaments and events.  

I sang in the church choir every Sunday, I taught Bible School in the summers.  I took my kids to piano lessons, Flute lessons, swimming lessons, dance lessons.  I was an assistant Troop leader for the Girl Scouts.  One year, my house was where all the  cookies were delivered.

When my kids were in high school, I was a Band Booster parent and worked at the Friday night fish fry suppers.  I was on the curriculum committee and was a driving force to have computers put into the school in the early 1980's.  I had three men on that committee that thought computers were not needed.  They didn't need them when they were in school, neither did their kids.  I had to convince them.

Our barn was where my daughter's class met every October to build their homecoming float.  I made several hundred tissue paper flowers.  I made all the skirts and blouses for the flag girls, the first year the marching band promoted flag girls.

I baked cakes and cookies for every cake walk or cookie sale or bake sale my kids classes had.  I organized and recruited workers for the annual school fun/game night and festival.  I organized and recruited other women to have a book sale from the school library.

Then, when I went to work, I was the bosses private secretary--or he thought of me that way.  I had to pick up his dry cleaning, go out and get his lunch and take his car to be washed.  When his wife turned forty, he was out of town, so I had to plan her surprise party, the catering, the venue, the decorations.  I made all the travel plans and airline and hotel reservations.  

I put out a monthly newsletter and I planned and coordinate the annual company Christmas party and the annual company picnic for three hundred people.  I organized and made all the booklets for the annual business meeting, made all travel arrangements for the different managers and set up the room where the conference was to be held."

"Oh."

"I have done enough socializing in those thirty years to last me the rest of my life.  Now, I like one-on-one visits--that last an hour or less.  The world is too noisy for me and I am very content to be in my home, doing what I want to do and not being scheduled up to my ears in stuff I HAVE to do."
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  So today, when I went in for my hour long PT, she merely asked me how I was doing and if I was in any pain.  Then as she worked on me, she told me her life story.  She is one of those modern working mother's that thinks she can do it all and have it all.  I feel kind of sorry for her.

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

The agony and the.................No. No ecstasy

No arson took place yesterday, you will be glad to know.

Up to the Cartridge World at the crack of 10:00.  Swapped out the bad Tri-Color inkjet for a new one.  Stopped at the print shop to drop off pedigrees for them to copy onto nice long paper.

Put the new inkjet in and printed out the photos on scrap paper and the Navy blue clothes were indeed, Navy blue.  Loaded in the expensive, special paper and..............success.  The last page done.  The book completed.  Now to get the pedigrees back from the print shop and inserted in the book, back to the print shop to get the book bound and off into the mail.

It was around 1:00 when I happened to look at my calendar and noticed I had an appointment at the physical therapy place at 4:00--in Brighton.  ARGGH!!! If I had only remembered, I could have made a trip to the Cartridge World AND PT at the same time.  One trip.
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My visit to the Physical Therapy place was just for an evaluation.  I turned in all the paper work you have to do for those places and then a therapist came and got me and we walked back to a little room.  She just wanted to look at me--how I stand and sit and walk.  No big deal.

Ah Hah!  An hour later, after she had pressed and pulled and maneuvered every sore spot on my upper body and created more sore areas, I finally called "Uncle" and she stopped.  Good Grief!

The sorest spot--the muscle under my scapula (wing bone), which hadn't been really sore in weeks, was now inflammed and marching to a pain that came with every pulse beat.  

"You're a mess!"  she proclaimed.  "Why have you waited so long?"

When I could once again breathe, I said, "I have been intending to get physical therapy for the last two years, but..........................."

"Well--you have waited so long it's going to take longer to get you back into shape!"

"Sorry."  

I haven't been scolded like that since I was twelve.

"Your shoulder is practically frozen.  Your C2 and C3 are practically welded together.  That's the reason you can't turn your head and the reason for the numbness in your left arm and hand.  Your shoulders are sitting up by your ears.  Your left shoulder is higher than your right shoulder and becoming humped.  When you walk, you walk with your head jutted forward."

Now, this young thing is small.  Thin as a rail and delicate looking.



She had hands with the strength of Brunhilde!  When she put her thumbs into that muscle in my back, I expected it to come out through my chest.  



"You need to start exercising.  I'd like to see you start swimming."

"I don't know how."

"Water aerobics then."

"I don't have a swim suit."

"You can buy one for twenty dollars at Meijers."

"Not one that will hold up these ta-tas.  The last one I bought was a hundred and twenty."

"Join a gym and lift weights and exercise your upper body."

"I can't afford that."

As she ushered me to the door she added, "Oh, since you are on a blood thinner....you may have bruising on your back.  Don't worry about it.  See you on Wednesday."
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I have had physical therapy and chiropractic therapy on my upper and lower back several times in the last twenty years.  I had PT before and after both of my hip surgeries.  I have never hurt as much as I did when I stumbled out of there yesterday.

To tell you the truth, I don't remember what I ate for supper or what I watched on TV last night, but I do remember looking at the clock when I fell into bed at 9:00 last night!   9:00?

See ya on Wednesday.