Ramblings

(Just a thought:  Sometimes a house is so big, that it owns you,

 instead of the other way around.)

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I have and always will hate this saying!!!!!

OR

"God never gives you more than you can handle."

BALONEY!!!   GOD does not give you anything BAD.  Usually you bring it on yourself, because GOD gives you free will and choice AND HE will NOT step in to stop your stupidness.  God WILL help you handle the bad stuff, however.

"Everything happens for a reason"--BALONEY!  Cancer happens, for a reason?  You get hit by a car and killed, for a reason?  The love of your life dies, for a reason?

For what reason?  Huh?  Explain that one to me.

Don't EVER say these two phrases to ANYONE, who is desperately ill or at a funeral visitation!  I MEAN IT!!!  ===================
My favorite was at Fred's funeral, when someone unknown to me, pressed my hands between hers and said, "I know just how sad you feel.  We had to put our fifteen year old dog down last week.  I haven't stopped crying since."  I have forgotten most of what other said to me that day, but I don't think I will ever forget her words of sympathy to me. HAH.

The simplest thing you can say at a funeral is, "I'm so sorry." and then a hug.  Not, "I'm sorry for your loss," not, "He/she was such a good person," (cause maybe they weren't), not "God will get you through this," just simply, "I'm so sorry."
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So--I know it's silly, but my saddest fear is, after the kids move, I will die before I see them again.
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Maisey and John stopped by last evening on their walk.  He had her "business" in a tied, white plastic bag that he sat at the end of my driveway.  We sat on the porch and as the sky darkened, it was time to leave.  

He stopped on the top step and said, "Is that a tame duck?"

I wondered what he was talking about.  A duck?  then he pointed toward the bag at the end of the driveway and yes, it did look kind of like a white duck, with it's head sticking up.

"Yes.  My tame duck,"I said.

"Really.  I've never seen it before."

"John...did you really think that was a duck?  That's Maisey's poop bag!"

He looked again and then bent over in laughter.

"I really did!" he said.  "Guess I need to wear my glasses!"

"Oh.  My.  Gosh!  You're losing it, Boy!"

"Don't you dare tell anyone."

"I won't."

(So, I am telling the world...here)

This morning, I hurriedly filled a white plastic bag with cat litter and put it out by my garbage pail. When I saw him and Maisey walking by, headed for home, with another while plastic bag in his hand, I stuck my head out the front door and started quacking!  HAH
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Chiropractor yesterday afternoon.  Headache gone.  Shoulder pain, gone.  Neck pain, almost gone.  I go back on Friday.

I'm Sad

Jennifer and Eric's house is for sale.

I remember how excited they were to find this property.  It was located in an orchard.  They cleared the land.  Eric had drawn up the plans when he was younger--it was/is his dream house.

I can remember how excited our whole family was when they moved from Salem, MA back "home".  Their oldest was just a baby.  

They built it the same time I moved in here.  A couple of years ago, they added a formal living room and family room, and added on to the kitchen, on the left.

It is a magnificent home with a wonderful view of a small lake out the back.  A huge concrete deck on the back. 

5 or 6 bedrooms, 6 bathrooms.  Beautiful.

They are starting a new life adventure.  At only 43.5 years of age, now is the time.

They will be moving to New Jersey and Eric will take over his father's Orthotics businesses.  Eric is very good at that--making artificial limbs and those running legs that the athletes use.  Jennifer will be able to do pro-bono work--she loves that and also help companies set up non-profits organizations, she is the expert in Michigan on that.

Eric wanted to start his own business here, but...the company he worked for had a two year non-compete clause, so he would have to wait that long and...well, that's kind of impossible.  DAMMIT!!!

I just hope my four Grand Babes can adjust well.  It is going to be a much different life than they've had here.  

My oldest daughter Pam is really going to have a difficult time adjusting.  She is very attached to the little guy.  

Our whole family is sad, but---what can you do.  Jen and Eric are doing what they think is best, overall, for their family.  I can't fault them for that, even though I cry about it most everyday.

Moaning on Monday

I know--anyone with severe arthritis, or fibromyalgia or any kind of auto-immune disease that causes pain in the joints and bones/muscles, know what it is like--the pain that is, and how we try to live with it.

My neck and shoulder had been feeling pretty good.  Then I decided to sleep on a different pillow and to tote in heavy groceries using my left hand.

For the past week, the continual pain coming out of neck, into my left shoulder and down into my left wing bone is so severe, it makes me nauseous.  I have tried everything--my hot rice sock, my ice pack, my horse liniment, my OTC pain pills.  Everything helps--for a couple of hours--that's it.

Anything I do, hurts.  Sitting here typing on the keyboard.  Sitting in my recliner crocheting.  Driving the car.  Doing laundry.  Making the bed.  Strangely, the only relief I get is when I lay down at night with my head on the contour pillow.  The one that has a place cut out for my neck and my head lays in a lower circle.  

It takes me down physically and emotionally. I don't want to go anywhere, see anyone, do anything!

I called to make an appointment with my chiropractor--I go in Wednesday afternoon.  I know he can help.  Help, not cure the problem.  There is no cure of stenosis of the C1,2 & 3.  Oh, I'm sure there is some sort of neck surgery they could do, but that is not going to help it.  Shots of Cortisone might help--for awhile, but I'm not that courageous at this time.  Besides, for that, I would need someone to drive me to the pain clinic and then drive me back home.
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Today, my dishwasher doesn't want to drain.  Lovely, just lovely.  I have had this repair done three years ago at a cost of $200.00.  Thankfully, I now have the Appliance Repair Plan through my electric company, which will take care of all of it.  So far, just this year, I have had about $600.00 of repairs and my plan costs $29.99 a month.  I would say, it has already paid for itself.
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It is easy for me to be assertive with John because, I do it in a light-hearted, joking manner.  He takes no offense.  If I did that with Dar, she would be very angry and never speak to me again.  I don't want that from her---I just don't need her coming over here every day and staying for hours.  Today, I have my front door locked and if she comes over, which she probably will around 7:00, I will either not answer, or I will slowly walk to the door and tell her that I am not feeling up to company--which is the truth.

Now, John talks way too much and too long.  Much like Dar, BUT his conversations are always funny and if I want to say something and he starts talking I just say, "Now...it's my turn." and he shuts up, at least momentarily.  He isn't a boaster and his conversations aren't always all about him.  BUT--that isn't to say in the mood I am now, I could take an hour spent with him either.  

I know that he is very depressed and very lonely.  He is used to living in town and walking everywhere he wants to go.  He has his group of church friends that he has lunch or coffee with three times a week.  He is very social, unlike me.  He now calls me "Hermie", because I told him I was a hermit.

When his dog Maisey dies, he is going to move back to Brighton into the Millpond Apartments, which are government subsidized and your rent is based on your income.  The last place on this earth where I'd want to live.  I need windows on all sides of my abode.  I need quiet and not having to put up with people on all sides and below or above me.  I lived in a townhouse once, for a year, with windows only on two sides, and it drove me crazy!!!

Okay--I'm off here.  It is so hot and humid outside that I am staying in--at least until the weather breaks or Wednesday.  Whichever comes first!!
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6:30 pm
I saw her coming.  I ran into my living room, sat and flipped my recliner back and waited.

I heard her knock and then try to open the locked door.  

I lay there with my eyes closed--peeked a bit.

Then she walked off the porch and around to look in my living room window!!

Back to the porch and tried the door again.

I got up, walked to the door unlocked it and she said, "Can I come in for awhile.  I won't stay long."

"Oh...I just don't feel well...I was napping."

"I'll just be a minute...I want to tell you something."

"I don't feel well enough, Dar."

"Okay.  Do you want me to leave?"

"Yes.  Please."
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Subterfuge?  Yes.  But it worked and I'm glad because I just could not handle her today!

Half-Way

Half-way through June--already!  It is scary how the days fly by!

I got up at 7:00 Saturday morning and John picked me up at 8:30.  He had an umbrella with him just in case.

I said, "You won't need to carry that around.  It's not going to rain until after noon today."

"Are you sure?"

"Trust me."

I was wondering how I was going to walk around the whole thing with getting the normal back pain from walking too far or standing still too long.    Luckily, as we were walking toward the market, John said, "Oh oh.  I forgot to change into my walking shoes."  Just then he stepped off the curb and winched in pain.  He has bad pain in the ball of his foot, I think Plantar Fasceitis, anyway, he was limping so I knew, we weren't going to be staying long.

He got lots of veggies and I got asparagus, a big tomato and we both got two quarts of Michigan, June bearing strawberries.  I have been craving them and not had them for a couple of years. I so hate those from California, that are available in the stores.  They are huge, but they have a big core you have to take out and they aren't naturally sweet.

We walked over by the millpond, but 45 minutes after we arrived, we were back in the Jeep.  He showed me where he used to live and the machine shop where he worked--a short block from his house  He drove home the back way, exactly like I would have, if I had been driving and just as we got to our park, he said, "Do you want to go have breakfast?  I've got a gift card to Leo's"

I said, "Okay, but...I want to go to Bob Evans."

"Okay.  Bob's is good.  I'll turn around and we'll go on up."

"Could you take me to my house first?  I have a gift card to Bob Evans.  You drive and I'll pay."

"We could use my gift card."

"Nope!  My turn to pay. "

"Okay...I guess so."

He dropped me off and went to his place to check on Maisey and get his other shoes.

When we got to Bob Evans, I could tell he was a bit uneasy about the whole thing.

"Order anything you want," I said.

We had a nice Brunch.  He told me more stories about his growing up in a family of 13 kids and funny things about the trouble he and his brothers got into.  
He insisted he leave the tip--which is the correct way to do things.  When he buys, I leave the tip.  He's not real comfortable with that arrangement, but that's the way it is going to be.

I was back home by 11:30.  For supper last night I had, fresh asparagus, a nice big sliced tomato and strawberries on the biscuit I brought home from Bob Evans.

I was exhausted by 10:00,l went to bed and didn't wake up until 11:00 this morning!!!

I have had a few gastric-enteritis problems all day--the first strawberries of the year will do that too me and while Dar was here this afternoon, I had an episode--or as my grandma would have called it, a "spell".

Sitting in my chair, listening to Dar prattling on and all of a sudden, my heart started pounding hard.  Not fast, just kind of hard.  I started to sweat and felt dizzy.  I told her and she got hysterical.

I leaned back in my chair, breathing deeply and slowly and she started yammering on about her job.  Every now and then she'd say, "Are you feeling better?"

"No."

"Do you want to go to the ER?"

"No."

"I told them today at work that I wouldn't..............."

Finally I said, "Dar, you'll have to go home.  I need to lie down."

So out the door she went like the devil was after her.

I kicked back my chair, the cats came to lay on top of me, my heart was now behaving nicely and I dozed for about an hour.

I got something to eat and then sat back down and worked on my crocheting while I watched a movie.  I feel good tonight.  Actually not a bit sleepy and it's going on midnight.  Guess I should go to bed.

I'll be fine!
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Thinking tonight of how happy I was 58 years ago--my wedding day.

Well...Hello!

Yes--I have been terribly remiss in my posting to my blog.

Why is that?

Trying to straighten out a mess in my genealogy.  I traced an ancestor, way back--way, way back, only ti find out, although the guy's name was the same and born in the same year--it wasn't who I was looking for.  How can that be?  Because waaaaay back in the day, not only did people name their children after their father and themselves, the next generation did the same.

So--one Conradt, named two of his sons, Conrad and Peter.
The next generation, Peter, named two of his sons, Conrad and Peter.
The next generation, Conrad, named two of his sons Peter and Conrad.

I had the right Conrad, but the wrong wife.  Then I had the correct wife, but with the wrong Peter.
What a mess--as I had posted that incorrect information into my Family Tree Maker and given that info to my sister, who alerted me to the fact of the mess.
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When I wasn't trying to figured that out, and in the midst of trying to get my crocheting on it's way, Pearl came over.  Tami came over.  Jackie came over and the ever popular Dar came over--twice.  ARGHH! 

 Then the cute little John and Maisey stopped by on two different evenings, to sit out on the porch and talk.  He and I may or may not go to the Farmer's Market this Saturday--if it doesn't pour rain, which is predicted.  I have never been, but don't know if I can walk that much.
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Then there were phone calls about medical bills I owe from the hospital stay.  My DHS case worker said they didn't meet my deductible, but she was going to notify someone from the hospital "help" center, AND she did raise my food assistance again.  One of these days, I might actually get enough to help with groceries.  Anything helps, so I am very thankful.

Then there has been trips to get food and typing paper and inkjet replacements, and gas up the car (not all on the same day, of course)  and...I have been busy.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.  LOL

Monday? All Ready?

My weekend was calm.  Nose stuck in the computer working on Ancestry.com.  Crocheted, laundry, cooked a pit pot of Chili, watched some ballgames and movies.

Today, my Wee Sister showed up around 10:30 and we poured over genealogy stuff.  I gave her the TOME of papers I had printed out so she can update her family stuff AND I gave her my latest dics of Family Tree Maker, that I bought last fall, for her to install on her computer.  Then, I think I can send her all the info I have and it will upload onto her copy. :-)

At noon, we ran up to Subway and brought our lunch back with us so we could eat and continue talking.  

We talked about family and gardening.  Politics and religion.  She is much more well versed in our church and scripture, than I am.  Sometimes we even disagree about the interpretation of the same scripture/Bible verse and it's meaning.  Today, we got into the whole, "did Jesus descend into Hell after he died."  She says yes, because it says in the Bible, he visited the dead.  I say, it doesn't say the dead where in Hell.  We have a whole list of questions to ask God when we meet Him.  Both of us very sure we are going to Heaven.

I always enjoy time spent with her.  Even though we are 13 years apart in age--it isn't at all that I am like the "mother", we seem very equal and both the same age and knowledge.

We were going to play a game, but then I realized--I have given her all my board games!  So next time I visit her, we will get a game or two in.

Now, I am back to crocheting and finishing up a strip and joining it to the rest of the blanket.

Catching Up

OHGosh--I have so much catching up to do!  Let's see, where did I leave off?

Oh yes--Thursday--I spent most of the morning in Ancestry.com, trying to find the dates and people we were missing in our family genealogy.  I found a lot more than I expected.  My great grandmother's brother, married a woman named Ella.  We saw her name on their headstone when Wee Sister and I went to the cemetery.  I finally found her and was stunned and amazed.

Her father and his wife had 7 children.  One of his daughter's named Mathilda Ella was born in 1865.  I thought this was our missing person.  But wait--there was an Ella born in 1865 also--which lead me into reading more about him and come to find out, he had an affair and our Ella, born in the same year as Mathilda Ella, was the illegitimate daughter as a result of his affair.  He listed as father, no mother listed.

No wonder I was confused, as was probably his wife and other children.  He and his wife stayed together 55 years, so apparently she stayed because she needed his $$ support for her and his "real" kids.

Then, our great, great, great grandfather lived his last few years with his daughter.  BUT--we realized that he wasn't widowed as we thought because, his wife died three years after he did!  So, why did they separate?  No way of finding that out unfortunately.  

Ancestry.com gives you facts and dates, but not the stories that go along with those facts, unless, as in the case with Ella, someone write the story and uploads it to the website.
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My cousin came over in the afternoon.  She was having a bit of problem with a crochet stitch, I think called a PBPTR--partial back post triple--fun, eh?  I had her read the instructions while I tried to do it, but with thin yarn, a small hook and my right hand tremor, I had a heck of a time doing it.  So then, I read the instructions while she did it.  We got it figure out and if and when she gets the afghan done, it is going to be beautiful!!!  Of course we laughed and giggled and chocked on our laughter and had a wonderful time.  Her husband recently in a nursing home, so it was a nice diversion--for both of us.
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Then Dar came over!  Just back from her vacation Up North.  She brought me Mackinaw Island fudge, which warmed my heart toward her...for about 3 whole minutes, until..................she gave me the history of the Soo Locks, and the fort at Mackinaw City and the Crucifix at Indian River and, and.....been there done that several times, but I listened as it was all new to her.  73 years old.  Born and raised in Michigan and this was the first time for her to see these things?

Then she asked, "How has everything been around here?"

"It's been pretty quiet around here......................."

"Oh!  I've got to tell you about my brother and sister-in-law.  They found a new house up in Alma."
<it's pronounced Al Ma.  She pronounces it All Mah>

and on and on she went.  It is even bigger than the mansion they sold on May 10th, for their retirement move to AZ on May 13th, and their subsequent move back here on May 30th.

"That's sounds nice......................"

"Oh!  I got the most wonderful copper wall hangings at Mackinaw City.  They cost more than my whole vacation.  <insert Three Stooges laugh> and.....oh, did you see Jackie yet."

"Yes--she got home Wednes......................"

"Then we stopped at the casino......................."

I quit listening...she went home.............and 30 minutes later.............phone rings..........

"Have you seen my purse?"

"No."

"It's Robins-Egg blue.  Did I leave it over there?  Go check by MY chair."

"Nope."

"Well, where did I put it?"

"I don't know Darlene.  Where did you put it?"

"I know I had it when I got home....then I did some laundry and put away some clothes.."

"Go back and retrace your steps.  Is it in your bedroom closet?"  I can hear her walking around.

Pause

"I've checked everywhere.  It is not here!"

"Did you check your office?"

"No!  Geez!  Why would it be in there?"

"Just check so you know for sure."

"I went in here, but..........wait..........oh here it is!  In my office closet!  Now why is it in here?

"Because...that's where you put it!"

DUH!!!
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Friday:

I finally got up to Wal-Mart to get groceries.  I have been without food for a few days.  $193.18, which was less than I expected for the amount of food I got.  They had Marie Callendar pot pies for $1.00.  I don't usually care for Pot Pies, but I had it Friday night and it was delish!!  The crust nice and brown and the thing was huge.  I could barely eat all of it!  They also had frozen entrees for $2.00 and I got six different kinds.  Also grnd round to make chili.

Took me seven trips to tote all the stuff into the house.  I had thought to call John to carry in the heavy things like the water jugs, cat litter and food, but decided I needed the exercise.  Of course last night, I could barely raise my left arm, shoulder hurts so bad.

About 9:30, I was watching the ball game and crocheting and the phone rang.  It was John.

Chit-chat, then....

"I hurt my shoulder today at school.  Putting heavy copy paper away, up on the shelf, for next year.  Had to move one of the copier machines and one Special Ed. teachers wanted to print out 600 pages for her to give to the kids for summer work."

"I have some really great horse liniment that will help your shoulder pain.  In fact, I just put some one my shoulder a little while ago.  If you need it, come get it."

"Okay--hm-mm, horse liniment?"

"Yes, it works great!!!"

"Okay-hm-mm, I will be over as fast as my little legs will bring me."

In a few minutes he was at the door---

"C'Mon in." I said.  He has never been in my house before.

He stepped in and stood by the door.

"Sit down while I get the liniment.  Oh and here is your soup container.  Best chicken noodle soup I ever had, John."

I went into the bathroom, got the liniment and handed it to him.

"Which shoulder?"

"My right one.  I can't even lift my arm.  It's the result of a bad accident I was in two years ago.  A guy in a pick-up T-boned me.  I also had a closed head injury and was in the hospital for two weeks."

"Do you want me to rub it on your shoulder for you?"

"No.  I'll wait until I get home.  I wouldn't want to take the chance that it might stain my shirt.  Oh--it even has a picture of a horse on it!"

"Hey--I got some Sweet Cherries at the store today.  Would you like some?"

"Ah--yeah.  Not too many though, I don't want to be up all night."

"Well, you don't have to eat them all at once," I said, as I filled up a Zip Lock quart baggie.

"Yes I do."

So we chatted a bit more and as he left, he said, "If this horse stuff works, you will see me galloping by tomorrow morning!"  and he whinnied.
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Lord love a duck--he is funny--a bit strange--but then again, aren't all my neighbors strange?