Feelings

Main Street in my hometown of Byron, Michigan

Wasn't it just last week that I was saying how happy I am that I am poor...because it has made me appreciate everything I have?  Wasn't that me?

Well--I'm over that now!  I'm not happy!  It is a struggle on most days.  There is a lot of stress and fear involved.  

My budget promises $50.00 left over every month.  My budget doesn't allow for "unexpecteds"--like a $60.00 service fee for the cable company to come out and fix my phone.  I understood that if the problem originated with their equipment, I didn't have to pay.  Apparently, a critter gnawing through their lines does not constitute a problem with their equipment.  Entirely my fault--even though they didn't have their line covered in an appropriate manner!

This Thursday is my luncheon with the Gal Pals.  Next Monday is my grandson Alex' 8th birthday.  Do I got to lunch or do I take Alex out for his birthday supper?  Well--you know the answer to that!  I can no longer take the kids shopping for their birthday present--I take them out for supper and give them dollar amounts of the year's old they are.  It will probably cost me $30.00 for Alex's supper and his $8.00 birthday money.

When I pay all my bills this month, I will have $8.00 left over.  I guess I didn't want a hair cut after all!  I guess I can get an oil change on my car next month!  I guess I don't really need to buy any more food do I?
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I went to the Food Bank today.  They yelled at me again because I didn't get enough "weight" of food.  They had no Tuna, which I needed.  I am only allowed 4 canned vegs or fruits.  I got green beans and soup.  I DID score on a nice looking piece of rib eye and some hamburger patties.  I didn't need any free laundry detergent, but I did get 4 rolls of bathroom tissue.  I also got 4 apples and a shriveled up cucumber and a bag of wilted lettuce.  Also a dozen eggs were pressed on me, although, I never eat eggs and only needed a couple for some Salmon patties.  I will give the rest to Pearl.

I shouldn't have posted on FB that I was feeling depressed.  The comment, while loving and kind, don't help much.  I was advised to "get out".  Get in the car--drive to the mall--find a sale and buy something for myself.  Bake something you like--the house will smell so good.

I CAN'T get out and drive the car anywhere.  I have $40.00 a month for gas for the car--that is not conducive for just driving around willy nilly.  I might want to drive up and visit my sister, so I have to conserve.

I would like to bake something I like.  I have apples so I could make half a recipe for my favorite Raw Apple Cake--unfortunately, I am out of brown sugar and only have 2 cups of sugar.

I WILL get $18.00 in food assistance on the 21st.  That will buy me milk and something else.  I won't get my favorite little cake this time.
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They took away the steps by the back door today--things are looking better.

Neighbor Tami has also cleaned up her yard--which gives me a much better view.

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It's been a very depressed day--can you tell?

I Got Plenty Of..........

......nothing.  

I got up too early and had laundry done, bedroom cleaned and whole house vacuumed by 11:00.

I was bored out of my mind for the rest of the day.

It's A Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood

 The tree tops look like they are on fire.  Early morning view. 

My friend Becky, started photography last year.

This was taken in our hometown Byron, on the Mill Pond.

She takes the most beautiful photos of flowers and birds and...nature.  If you'd like to see more, here is her link.  RJG Photography.

The, not so good, steps came down on Friday.

Considering the fact that this man is retired, after 50 years as a carpenter, the building of their deck and steps doesn't speak real well to his skills!!!

Things are looking better by Saturday.

We've had frost every night for the last 4, so it was time.  I hate to see my 7' Zinnia's go into the yard waste bag, but---time to clean up and put the gardens to rest.

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Another weird Merle thing happened.  He took two of my yard waste bags with him to the golf course, where he works, to dump them.  Friday evening, I was sitting in my chair, cross stitching and watching something on H2 channel, when there came a knock at my door--it opened and in walked Merle.  I was sort of startled.  I am used to Pearl or Dar walking in, but...Merle?

"I brought your bags back so you can use them again."

I started to get up out of my chair, as he walked farther into the living room.

"I put 'em on the porch."

"Oh.  Okay...thanks."

"I broke one of 'em.  Tore it.  Can't use it anymore."

"Oh--that's okay."

"Do you wanna spank me?"

<What?>

"Not hardly!   However, I do want to thank you for taking them."

and I quickly walked out onto the front porch.  I figured the stupidness would stop out on the porch where neighbor's might be watching.

He followed me out and showed me the ripped bag, which I picked up and wadded up and threw into the garbage pail.

"Thanks again," I said.

He walked down the steps and waved and got in his truck and drove home.

GEEZ!!!

I hate this sort of thing.  It makes me very uncomfortable.  Always has and I do not know what kind of vibe I am giving out that leads them to think they can make remarks like that to me!

I was at a party once, dancing with a friend's husband and he said, "Boy, you're tall."

"I know," I laughed.

"I'll bet if we were laying down...we'd be the same height."

OR--another dance--different friend's husband..

"C'mon and dance with me, Jude."

"I'm not a very good dancer."

"Oh--I know the secret.  I just tuck your left boob under my arm and you'll follow me anywhere."

OR--another dance--different friend's husband--very short man.

"Ya wanna dance, Judy?"

"Nah--I'm kind of tired."  because I did not really want to dance with him.

"Aw--come on, it's a slow one."

My husband nudged me to go, so, I got up and danced with the fool.

"Ah," he said, as he laid his head on my chest!

I was mortified.  Everyone laughed and said, "Oh look, Sarge is in his glory."

The worst time I think was when, dancing with my very best friend's husband, he whispered in my ear, "God--I have always wanted to play motor boat with those boobs of yours!"

What in the world was I suppose to do when faced with these situations?  Slap the guy and walk off the dance floor?  I certainly didn't want their wives to know how stupid they were.

The beer and alcohol was always flowing freely at these parties, so I just put it up to them being drunk and tried to forget about it.  I never told my husband because he worked and played golf with these guys.  Trouble was, I saw these friends just about every weekend.  It made me very uncomfortable to be around the guys.

Now-I've got this little twerp up the road!  I think I am going to have to start locking my door.  What if, when he walked in, I was in the bathroom or changing my clothes in the bedroom? 

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It was another perfect autumn day, so I got around to planting the 75 Tulip and Daffodil bulbs I ordered from Breck's last spring.  I looked around my front garden and the one by the porch and saw bare spots with no spring bulbs blooming.  I put a stick in those places last spring and today, planted the bulbs.

I saved the pink tulips Karen gave me last Easter.

I think they will do just fine.

Anxious to see if my long handeled trowel, that I bought

last spring just for this job, would work.

It did not.  

I needed my heavy duty pointed shovel. 

Pearl has given me two Greenland Tulips--pink with the green stripe--they were the puniest things I ever saw.  I planted them together in a hole and put a stick in so next spring, I can see how/if they grow.  She is FOREVER buying bulbs and plants from those places you see in the Sunday paper and when they don't grow, she gets mad.  My Greenland Tulip bulbs, that I got from Breck's, were four times the size of hers.  I figure, if I'm going to break my back planting the dang things, I want good stuff that will grow and multiply and grow for years.

I had a couple dozen left over.

I have no idea if Tulips and Daffs

will grow in a raised bed.

I guess I'll find out next April?

and...I can still plant my Zinnia's here as well.

Do you remember me telling you about John--with the dog named Maisey?  He's the one who told me his life story in 15 minutes the first time I met him?  Well--this is his place.  I can see his place from my back yard/shed.  He never, ever, opens his blinds!  I have walked down  his street and not a single window in his place ever has the blinds open.  How weird is that?  Who would want to live in all that dimness?

His kitchen is on the back of his house--and his house backs up to the wetland area.  Maybe he has those back windows open?  I can't very well walk back there to find out.  I don't think. :-)

For Everything There Is A Season

To clarify--Pearl knew that I had promised to help Dar FIRST, when she asked me to go out with them.  I was hesitant at the time to even slightly agree to go with them..and she knew it was a "maybe I can" sort of thing.  She even said, "Well, if you can, you can and if you can't, you can't"

When I asked Pearl what time they were going to leave, she didn't know--in fact, she wasn't even positive it was going to be last night.  She said, she would call and let me know.  She also knew that I had not been feeling well.  She also knows I really cannot afford to go out to eat.

Then, she just bops in here as they are leaving and expects me to be ready to go...when I didn't even know what time they were going or if they were going?  When she found out that I was still feeling sick, she could have said she understood and quietly left--instead of getting on my case and calling me Miss Crabby.

As for Dar's behavior--well, we all know, that remains a mystery.
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I have felt much better today.  The headache appears to have gone.  My neck is still a bit stiff.  I have an appointment with the Chiropractor tomorrow afternoon, to see if he can help.  I will not get a massage, because that costs $15.00 and Medicare/Insurance won't pay for that.  I will get an adjustment, which is covered.

Today, I spent a good amount of time outside--well, a good amount for me.  I keep trying, but I cannot work for more than half an hour without stopping to sit and rest for 15 minutes.

It wasn't all that long ago, when I could work 4-5 hours outside.  I could get ALL my yard work done in a day's time.  Now---well, it just ticks me off that I have to stop and rest and, even with that, I can't do more than an hour before my legs start to tremble and my hands start to shake.

I try to be thankful that I can do what little I can do.  Before the hip replacement surgeries, I could do nothing!  I couldn't bend over.  I could hardly walk.

Today, I had to lop off the big Zinnia plants--their stems were so thick.  They were seven feet tall , so in order to get them into the yard waste bag, I had to bend over and cut them into three sections.  Then bend over and gather up the piles of raked up waste and put into the bag.

Then, I trimmed off some low growing Rose of Sharon bush branches, Lilac branches, Weigela branches and rake those all up.  I took the bird bath apart, washed it and put it into the shed.

That's all I got done and it took an hour.  The yard waste people came yesterday to pick up one bag and all the bundles of branches my BIL cut off the Privet bushes.  They won't be back for two weeks.  Since I don't want the bags I filled today, sitting around and get wet, I dragged them down to Merle, as he will take them in to the golf course and dump them into their yard waste bins, for me.

He had told me to just set them out by the street and he'd pick them up for me, but.....I didn't want to take a chance that "someone" would think that was too much work for him, so I hauled them down and put them in the back of his pick-up.

Pearl did seem a bit cool to me, but.........................
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I'm glad to see the old guy, across the street, working on his own without his son's direction.  He made his back steps and did a great job!

We are expecting low 30's temperature tonight so most of my annuals will freeze.  That is all right with me.  I am not covering any of them.  It is time.  I am cleaning everything up real nice--making sure that it is in perfect shape, so when spring arrives, everything will be ready for a new growing experiment.

It is the season to put everything to "bed" and snuggle down for the cold and snow ahead of us.  The night's are becoming longer and Mother Nature is telling us it is time to rest.  

I hope tomorrow, I can start on the porch and all my container plants there.  When everything old is put away, then I have 50 spring bulbs to plant and...that should do it.  

Does Anyone Have a Gun I Can Borrow?

Last night, I took a heavy duty pain pill--a nice opiate I have left over from hip surgery, and went to bed at 10:00.  I slept good and woke up feeling quite a bit better.  BUT along about 10:00am, the neck and headache tried to come back.

Monday, Dar told me that she had a day off on Wednesday and she wondered if I'd come over and drain and flush her water heater for her.

"I'll help you,"I said.  "We can work together and then next time, you will know how to do it yourself."

"Oh.  Okay.  I have a doctor's appointment in the morning and I have to get my hair cut, so I will call you when I want you to come over."

"Afternoon would be best for me."

"Okay."

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Yesterday, Pearl asked me to go out to supper with them, their daughter, grand daughter and great grand daughter, to celebrate the birthday's of the daughter and grand daughter.  I adore her daughter and grand daughter.

"What time?"  I asked.

"I don't know."

"Where are we going?"

"I don't know that either."
<okay>

"Well, Dar asked me to help her drain her water heater and, if we get done in time and if I feel better, I would love to go with you guys.  Just call and them me know."

"Okay."
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By noon, I was really feeling rough.  I didn't really want to do anything.  The headache is like a migraine, in that any noise or light really makes it hurt worse and makes me nauseous...but I had made a commitment to Dar, so.............

I hadn't heard from either one of them, so after my Soap, I heated up my rice sock, put it behind my neck and kicked back in my recliner to rest.

My front door opened and in walked Pearl...at 5:00.  I had slept three hours!!!!!

"We're getting ready to leave.  Are you ready?"

"I guess I can't go, Pearl.  My head and neck still hurts, I'm kind of sick to my stomach and Dar hasn't called yet for me to go over and help her."

"Come on.  Get up and come with us.  My neck hurts too and I'm going."

"Do you have a headache that any noise or light makes it throb and you feel like you're going to throw up?"

"Well...no."

"I do and I don't really want to go...anywhere."

"Okay, Miss Crabby.  Just stay home."  and she walked out the door.

Oh GEEZ--now I've made her mad

I got up and went potty and took two Advil and back to my chair.  I must have fallen back to sleep because my phone woke me up at 7:00.  It was Dar.


"OH MY GAWD!!  I just realized that I was suppose to call you today and let you know when to come over."

"Yeah."

"I woke up this morning and my back was frozen.  I couldn't even walk!!!  I had to cancel my doctor's appointment."

"Gosh...that's awful."

"I did go get my hair cut---because I HAD to get my hair cut, but................."

"You couldn't walk so you didn't go to the doctor's but...you did manage to get your hair cut?"

"Yes."

"Ah."

"Anyway, Sheila and I went out for dinner and on the way back...I realized that I hadn't called you!"

"Your back must feel better."

"It does.  Do you want to come over now and do the heater?"
  <it's after seven and it is getting dark, NO you dumb broad, I don't want to do it now>

"It's kind of late.  I haven't felt too great today either.  Can we do it another time?"

"Sure.  You don't feel good either?  Good thing we didn't do it."
<yes, but it would have been nice if you'd called and told me that THIS MORNING>

"Okay--talk with you later.  Bye."
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When the maintenance guys leveled off the lawn across the street and brought in top soil, I thought they were going to put in the grass seed.  I was out getting my mail and asked.  My pal Aaron, the head maintenance guy told me, "Not until next spring, Jude."

"We used to sow the seed in the fall, cover it with a thin layer of straw and by spring it was growing," I said.  "Now, they are going to have to contend with all that mud all winter and next spring."

Aaron said, "We have to let the yard settle."

"Oh. Really?"

"Yeah."

So, when I got up this morning and saw this...I decided I should put in my application to be Maintenance Supervisor!!!

Sowing the grass seed and putting down the straw cover

Later, I worried when I saw the Old Guy out working alone.  He was sawing away.  It tickles me because, his son's don't trust him to do a thing on his own.  Although, he was a carpenter for over 50 years--he can't work with his older son (the park manager) because "all we do is disagree and fight about how things should be done," so his younger son, also a carpenter and he built the deck.  Which, was too high and his older son was the one that crawled under the deck yesterday and cut and shortened the posts!

So--now, Old Guy is working alone?  I wonder what son's are going to say.

...and lookee here--he the made the frame for the  steps and they look like mighty fine steps at that.

Don't you love his saw horses?  A couple of kitchen stools!!!

Oh--about that gun I wanted to borrow?  At first it was for me...but now...maybe a murder suicide? 

It Is Really Noisy!!!

I woke up this morning with an awful headache, stiff neck and my Tinnitus is really loud.

Nothing has improved through the day, except I am dizzy and feel nauseous now.

I was doing a tour of the park and saw Merle and Pearl coming home from the doctor, so when I got home, I ran right up to their house.

The good news:  All tests results are in--there is absolutely nothing medically wrong with Merle!!!
His sleep study test revealed he only woke up once during the night, and that was to go to the bathroom.  He only snored twice, for a few seconds!  Amazing!!

So--why is he so tired?  Why can't he walk as fast as he used too?  Why does he feel punk and his voice is weak?

Is he just too old to work anymore?  He mows grass at the golf course.  Easy job.

Pearl said to him, "I'm done with ya!  You've been milking this all summer.  No excuses anymore!"

If it isn't medical, than it has to be psychological--right?  Depression because he has realized that he can't do everything he used too?    Early dementia?  Nope they did a memory test with him and also a CAT of his brain.  Who knows?  Maybe he just needs a nice, not too strong anti-depressant.  I recommend 20 mg of Celexa.  

I didn't actually mention that, but..................................
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Early morning work began on taking the new deck across the street, down.  Actually, all they did was get under it and cut the post off about 4 inches.  You see, the retired carpenter and his son, an active carpenter, made the deck too high and the front storm door wouldn't open.  HAH!!!

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I got the rest of the front garden cut back and weeded out.  I know, it looks like there is grass in there, but that is my Grape Hyacinth, that comes on, nice and thick after it blooms in the spring and I don't cut it back.

I dug up tons and tons of Rudbeckia--it is soooooooo invasive.  I dug up my pink Coneflower over by the edge of the front porch and put it in the front garden, and took a chunk of Rudbeckia and put it in the Coneflower hole.  My Coneflower hasn't looked very good this summer and I think, it isn't getting enough light.

I planted all my gardens 10 years ago.  Since then, the trees have grown and become larger and more shade is now on the gardens.

It looks so forlorn.  I still have some Tulips and Daffs to put in

here.  Next spring, it will be lovely.

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It was a nice bright, sunny day, so I decided to drive around the park to see what kind of color is going on with the trees.  Do you want to come along?  Just hop in the passenger's side--I'll give you a guided tour.

Heading north to the main road--Grand River.

The exit--to the right is Brighton 2.5 miles.

To the left is Howell, 2.8 miles

When the traffic cleared, I just did a "U" turn

so we can come in the entrance

Office straight ahead.  Stay to the right, please 

Continuing on--office to the left

One way going in and out

To our right, is an open field.

Sand Cranes love to play here

 Around the circle--to the right, please

This tree is always so unusual in the way it gets it's color

each and every fall 

More color down a side street-- Biscayne Street 

Oh My Gosh!  That's Merle and Pearl's car in front of us!

End of the entrance street.

Pearl and Merle went right, down our street.

Let's you and me turn left and look at the lake

Nice sandy beach off to the left

Fishing boats and Kayaks over to the right

Rich people's homes  across the lake

Across this nice open way, is another part of the park

and an area for people to store their RV's.

I wish my place backed up to this big open area! 

Back up to our corner 

The residents here did the corner, round flower bed.

Nice touch.

Heading west up Lakeview Lane

Nice Burning Bush coming into color --Pearl's neighbor 

Merle and Pearl's.  Yes, it is a "regular" mobile home, which are

no longer allowed in the park.

They got it for free 6 years ago, but had to put new vinyl siding on it.

Dar's off to the left and Jackie's is the blue one.

Tami and Ron--to the right where the red car is

New neighbor's on left where the street ends

Here we are--back home.

It's a really nice park.  Kept up well.  Quiet (except for July 4th), especially back here, away from the traffic on Grand River Road.

BTW--Grand River Road or Historic US-16, as it once was known,  goes all the way across the State.  To the East--it ends in Detroit.  To the West--in Muskegon..  Of course, there is expressway I-96 that runs (more or less) parallel, but sometimes, I find it fun to get on Grand River and travel up toward Lansing and go through all the little towns and farm land along the way.

Here's a neat link about it.  Grand River Road