Very worried about Ernestine: 'My Journey to Mindfulness'.  I sent her an e-mail and have heard nothing.

Also Bella Rum: 'What's She Thinking'--nothing since July 15th.

It's not like either one said they weren't going to post for awhile.

Both had stated they weren't feeling well.  

They aren't on Face Book so I can't track them through there.

These two ladies were important to me, in my blog reading, for a long time.  I worry and miss them like I would any of you who just stopped posting.  I guess we all need a surrogate of some kind that would post on our blog if anything happened to us.

========================
Boy--I've been sicker than a dog.  I came down with it 3 days after being at Karen's for Thanksgiving breakfast.  Must have picked it up from someone.

Started out with a sore throat, ears hurt, then running nose and cough.  The cough got so bad I decided, after 3 weeks, to visit the Doc.  He walked into the exam room and said, "You must really be sick to come in.  I usually see you twice a year."

So he put me on a super-duper antibiotic--the size of a horse pill, take one a day for 3 days and they stay in the body for 10 days.

I took one with supper last night and 2 hours later, got severe stomach cramps and diarrhea.  I guess there is more than one way to flush the bad buggies outta my body?
===============
I used to have a web site with children's stories and poems I had written.  I decided to put all those stories into book form and give it to 3-year old Great Grand daughter Della.

I have been editing and printing out for days now.  I need to get it done and to the print shop to get it bound by this Friday.
===============
We are having our family Christmas on December 28th, up at The Farm.  My sister posted a photo of their home.

That very large 162 year old home has never looked so good.
Each window has a wreath in the top sash and a candle on the sill.
Garlands around each porch post and doorway.

She has 5 Christmas trees that she puts up and decorates.  One all done in crystal and gold.  Another one in pink and white. 

Her house looks amazing!!!

I'm ready!!!!!

So Friday, my Knight in Shining in Armor, Randy the towing guy, came out with the battery. Unfortunately this Dodge Stratus, circa 1998, has the battery in the fender well and you have to pull the tire to get to it.

WHAT KIND OF DUMB SPIT IS THAT?

So he charged up my battery and, in the morning I was to drive into Brighton to his "yard" and he would install the battery.  I had no idea what it was going to cost, he told me not to worry about it.

Of course Saturday morning, when I tried to start the car, it 

just gave me the same old “click-click” noise, so I called 

Randy and he said he would be out in half an hour.

Randy came out at 10:30 to charge my battery and I followed him into Brighton, where he shares a repair shop with another guy.

He put my car up on the hoist and went all over the underside, checking the shocks, tie rods, struts, gas tank, muffler system and said everything was solid.

Then he pulled the tire to get at the battery. He had a 2018 battery from a car that was totaled and he wasn't going to charge me for. When he went to put it in, it wouldn't fit.

So he went in another room and I could hear him calling an auto parts store to get a brand new battery.

Now remember, he has never charged me one penny.

While we waited, he filled up all the fluid levels, checked the air cleaner, check the windshield wipers, air sprayed out all the leaves up by the windshield, even opened up the trunk lid, where my tree toads live in the summer, and cleaned out the "swamp" back there.

Told me I didn't need to get an oil change because my oil looked as clean as if it was just filled. That saved me $29.00.

By then the parts runner was there with the brand new battery and I saw Randy guy pull out of wad of bills and pay the kid. When Randy moved toward my car, I stepped over and ask the kid how much it was. $106.00.

Randy put in the new battery, put the tire back on, went around and sprayed WD-40 on all the door hinges, the hood catch and the trunk lock mechanism. Then, he aired up all the tires.

Then he noticed that my heater knob that was broken off and I use a pair of pliers to adjust the heat and said he could get me one of those and that he is still looking for a seat belt that will work.

In the meantime, while he was putting the battery in, I left the work area and went into an office to sit down and write him a check. I was bound and determined I was going to pay him at least for the brand new battery.

He didn't want to take any money. All the time he has spent running out here. The time he has spent working on my seat belt and now the battery--nope, he didn't want any money. The labor costs alone, for all he has done, would have been $270-300 dollars.

I told him he saved me $29.00 by not having to get an oil change, he practically winterized my whole car. I feel so safe to drive it now, and I shoved that check in his hand, hugged him and took off before he could protest anymore.

I didn't think nowadays, especially in this high rent district, that there would be people like him that would help and want nothing in return.

The strange thing is, I never should have met him. I just stopped in on a whim at my service guys place to see what to do about the seat belt, and the towing guy was just bringing a car in. My service guy said, let me talk to Randy--he has a lot of spare parts.

Hey--things like that aren't a coincidence. He was a God sent blessing to help me.

When I told Karen about it, she said she and Mark would pay for the battery.  Another God send.

I sure have been blessed this past week.  What relief I feel to know that my car, not only will start right up, but that it is safe to drive. 
=============
I am real worried about Ernestine at "My Journey to Mindfulness".  She hasn't posted in 3 weeks.  Has anyone heard from her?

I get so frustrated and of course, it does no good.

My car is sitting in my driveway right now...dead battery.  I was just bragging the other day that I've had the car 11 years and I have never had to replace the battery.

Jinxed myself, didn't I?

The guy that helped me with the seat belt, said he had a couple of batteries and he would charge them up and bring them out.  That was yesterday at 2:00.  It is now today at 3:57 and I ain't seen head or tail of him.  I so dislike people that over promise and under deliver.  I would have felt better if he had just said, "I can't get to you until Friday," and then shown up on Friday.  I feel like I can't get away from my phone.  Afraid of even running across the street to get the mail in case he calls and I miss the phone call.

I had saved up enough $$$ the last 5 weeks to be able to get a hair cut.  Right now my hair resembles Bozo's hair style,  it is so long and unruly.  I had the appointment yesterday, but when I jumped into my car and turned the key, all I got was click-click.  ARRGH!!

Luckily I had gone grocery shopping on Monday, so cats had food.

=============

I've been working on the spaghetti sauce for the "boys" Christmas gift.  I can't seem to cook anymore.  I have a devil of a time getting the sauce thick enough and I follow my 40 year old recipe to a "T".  Maybe there are things I did in years past that aren't in the recipe, but of course now, can't remember what the little tricks might be?

I did get my Christmas cards printed out.  I have the Hallmark Card software, so I can make my own cards and personalize them for the kids and grands.  My "Special Girl" in Idaho, always sends me Christmas stamps so I don't have a great expense in outlay.

==============

I am not decorating for Christmas.  I can remember in years past, when my Grandma and older relatives stopped putting up a tree, I firmly avowed, "I don't care how old I get.  I will always put up a decorated tree!"

Yeah--well.  Little did I know that now that I am old and with a painful back, the very thought of putting up and decorating the tree, which takes 4 hours, let alone getting all the other nativities, Santas, village, angels out, which takes about 5 days, would become more than I would want to do.

My sister tells me, "Do it for yourself.  It will make you feel better."  Yeah, well not having to put it up and then take it all down will make me feel better physically.

I hung the cross stitched picture I made of a Christmas angel on the wall and called it good.

I am rapidly turning into an old, cranky, Scrooge!!!

I finished a genealogy for a young woman that I became friends with when I first moved here.  She had a writing group that I joined.  She has three daughter's...2 have autism and the youngest has learning disabilities.  I don't know how she does it, as the oldest one acts out at school and keeps getting suspended for a few days.  20 suspensions already this school year.  The oldest is in her senior year, very big and strong and fights with other students and teachers.

It is a real struggle for my friend.

She mentioned that she was interested in finding about her family tree.  Her parents don't want to talk about any of it, so she basically knew nothing about her grand parents.

I told her if she had the birth dates and where her parents were born, I'd do some research and see what I could come up with.  She did know that and even knew her Dad's father's name, but no dates for him.

It took me awhile, but I finally found a "path" and once I found that, up the tree I climbed.  LOL

I knew this young woman couldn't pay, although she insisted she would.  My rates are $7.00 an hour for the research and putting the book together, i.e., writing the story and scanning and adding census reports, military records, marriage licenses, death certificates---whatever I can find in my research.

When she asked me how much it would cost, I told her, "about $100.00 and you can pay me as we go along."  One day she stopped in with groceries--milk, bread, a can of soup, cheese, a candy bar and a jug of Diet Pepsi.  I found the receipt in the bottom of the bag, so I credited her invoice for that amount.

I got her book bound last week and the total for all of the research work I had done, the acid free paper for the book, printing out the pedigrees and the book binding came to $234.00.  I "fudged" and printed out an invoice for her with a total of $108.00 and apologized that it was $8.00 more than I had told her at the beginning.

====================

My daughter Karen scolded me.  "Mom!  You, of all people, can't afford to do these genealogies for free.  That work helps you pay the bills your Social Security doesn't cover.  I suppose you gave it to her before she had paid for all of it."

"Yes."

"Mom!  Don't you remember that woman that never paid you?  You mailed her the book and she never paid for it.  That's why Jen and I told you to get a hundred dollars from the person, before you started any research for them."

"Yes, but............"

==========================

BUT.....this young woman knew nothing about her heritage.  She wanted to know.  I wanted her to know.  I found the cemeteries where her grand parents are buried.  I found photos of their grave markers.  I found photos of her Great grand parents.  I found that a town in Ohio was founded and named by her 6th Great grand father.  I found she is German/Irish.

....and the look on her face, when she saw her book, was way more important than the money I may have missed out on.  

My neighbor John.  You remember John, who stopped in to visit everyday with his dog Maisey?  He always cleaned the snow out of my drive (and all the neighbors)--for free.

Well, after Maisey died, he decided to go back to work.  He works nights at a nearby elementary school as Janitor.  He did stop in about a year ago and as we talked, he told me about professional "cuddlers".  Because elderly people get so lonely and miss out on human touch, they now have people you can hire to come to your house and sit on the couch, watch TV and cuddle.

He said that he knew of people that didn't hire the pro, they just got together once in awhile to cuddle.  He wondered if that would be something I was interested in.  Now John is a good Christian man and I know he would just cuddle and not even think to take it any farther, but in my mind I was all "EWWW" about it, so I told him it would be great if he wanted to come over and watch a Michigan State basketball game with me, but I wasn't interested in sitting on the couch, cuddling.

At one time, he WOULD come over and watch the Michigan State versus Michigan football and basketball games with me. He'd sit on the couch, me in my recliner.  He's a Michigan fan and we had a lot of fun ribbing each other.  But--I must have hurt his feelings because I have not seen or heard from him since.
=====================
Merle and Pearl.  Merle has Parkinson's, but he still mows his own lawn, shovels his own driveway and walks along our street every trash day and brings Dar, Jackie and my empty trash cans up to our porch.

Pearl on the other hand, sits in her chair 24/7.  She even sleeps in it now.  A couple of years ago, she just stopped walking, because her legs hurt.  She went to several doctors and physical therapy, but refused to do what they told her to do....so there she sits.

You know what happens when all you do is sit---now she can't walk.  She has a walker to use, but even with that, her legs collapse and Merle can't get her up, so he has to call the ambulance and the ambulance people have to haul her up and back into her chair.

They average two ambulance calls a month--and they are not charged for it.  The people told Merle to just call and they would come right over.  Their station only 1 mile away.

Their oldest daughter that lives about 80 miles north of here, comes down once a month to clean the house.  Pearl never has a good word to say about her.  Their youngest daughter, that lives just around the corner from here takes them to their doctor's appointments...Pearl recently diagnosed with Diabetes, and helps with yard work.  She is her Daddy's girl and not quite all that in love with her mother, but with that one, Pearl thinks the sun rises and sets with her.

I try to get down there for a visit every month.  It takes an effort on my part because I know what awaits me.  Pearl is very bossy and tell me how I should live, what I should do and if I express any feelings, tells me I'm nuts to feel that way.  
============
Then there's Dar.  Her Dad is now 96 years old, living with her at her suggestion.  Daddy has a ton of $$$ and I think Dar thought it would be good for her to have him near to help out.

That was 2 years ago.  He drives her nuts.  LOL  He insists that she take him in the car everyday.  In this past year, Dar has had a hernia surgery, and both hands done for Carpal Tunnel.  He got mad because she couldn't drive and stated that when her left hand was done she could still drive with her right hand and vice versa.

She and her best friend Sheila--a neighbor did manage to get away for a 4 days trip up north.  Dad was angry that he couldn't go with them and Dar had to jump through hoops to make arrangements to have her brother take him.  Dad hates her brother's wife, so he stayed in his room, at their place, all 4 days.

Four times a year, Dar and Sheila like to go up north to Frankenmuth--a city that has Christmas all year round.  They always take Dad with them.  They go on their birthdays so they get whatever their age is percent off their chicken dinner.  Dad is now up to a 96% discount, which he thinks is fabulous and is determined to make it to 100 so he will get a free dinner.

He is sharp as a tack and might just fulfill that wish of his.  He had given his 3 children their inheritances, so Dar got a huge sum, plus she got a $200K settlement on her accident case, so she is rolling in the green stuff, but with Dad following her around the house and making negative comments, she is beginning to wonder if her "suggestion" that he come live with her is worth it.

When he first moved in and I asked her if she thought it was a good idea because she likes to travel and wants to travel to Greece, she said, "He's 93, how long can it last?"

Oh....I do love you ladies!  How can people I have never met, bring me more uplifting feelings and support, than people I have known for years?

Yes, I do get this way every year, right about this time of year.  I think what "niggles" at me if, when my father was alive, the family Christmas was ALWAYS on Christmas Eve.  We all knew that.  We all made our arrangements to not interfere with Christmas at The Farm.  Everyone kowtowed to him and....he wasn't even that nice.

Now, I am the eldest in the family.  I am the Matriarch.  Why do "they" think they can change up tradition?  They would have never done if when he was alive, but now................................

I feel like Tevya in Fiddler on the Roof.  TRADITION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
=========================

Just as I was having a two-day depression, pity-party...I do those so well, daughter Karen called and we went out to lunch. I had a gift card at Panera Bread so I got to pay for her lunch this time.

We yakked as fast as we could, and laughed a lot as we always do, then over to the Meijer store where she went one way and me the other--I of course buying cat food AGAIN, she got me some Pepsi and Chex Mix, while I searched for a Giant Hershey bar, she got stuff for her too and we met up front.

She likes to go through the self check-out, so I let her and I also let her pay for my groceries. LOL

It brought back a nice memory of when Karen was little, I'd take her grocery shopping with me--I'd give her half the list and she'd run all over the store getting the items I needed.

She is a busy woman in her retirement. Doing a Bible Study, helping with the Montessori kids at church, and a book club with friends, plus tutoring two different kids in two different locations this afternoon--that is just her schedule for today.

She is something else, so beautiful, loving and kind and everyone that knows her would attest to that fact!

I feel like the world has been lifted off my shoulders!

I am just wondering if I should even post anymore.

There is absolutely nothing interesting going on in my life.  

Nothing anyone would want to spend time reading about.

I can't even come up with an interesting illness, that people would want to follow, empathize, give advice.  I suppose that is a good thing.

Yesterday, I put the humidifier together, filled with water because everything I touched, I got a shock.  

Today I vacuumed the kitchen, living room and den.  And dusted.  Set up the air cleaner here in the den.

Oh, you did hear we got 9 inches of snow last week, right?  It's been unusually cold since, but I love the cold weather.  I had an appointment last week at the Pulmonologist and she asked if the cold weather bothered my breathing.  I told her "No" and she did a breathing test and said, "Your lungs are great for their age.", which struck me as funny.  My lungs are the same age as me, right?

or maybe not.  Maybe they are 6-7 months older---'cause they were growing before I was born?

My Christmas Cactus is healthy and nice and green and not one single bud on it's stems/leaves/fronds...whatever those things are called on a Cactus.  Everyone I know, who has a Christmas Cactus, are posting pictures of how theirs are loaded with buds.

This is my exciting and interesting life.

==================

No one is having Thanksgiving this year and I just found out our family Christmas will be on the 28th.

The traditional family Christmas Eve, which was celebrated for over 100 years, is now whenever--sometime in December.  So that means I will be home Christmas Even and Christmas Day.

Why don't I just slash my wrists now!!!!!!!?

Ever since my 80th birthday in June, I ponder on why I am here.  What good am I to anyone?

The kids don't call or visit.  The grand kids--well, I have no idea what is going on with them.

I don't see my sister very often.

It's hard.  At one time, I was the "hub" of the family, but then......I haven't been the hub in many, many years, so why does it bother me?

I feel like I am totally useless to anyone.  They would all get along just fine if I weren't here.

I think it is difficult for a once vibrant, involved in everything, socially active person to become irrelevant, but that is what I have become.

==================

I have this fantasy.  I sometimes sit and ponder on it and see it all falling into place.

I have a new car--a small SUV.  I pack it up with everything I will need for a month and...I just take off.  I tell no one that I am going.  Just like my kids and sister do--they go on vacations, or trips, and never inform me they will be gone.

I meander around the country.  I've always wanted to see Vermont in September.  I stay for a week, on the ocean, in Nags Head, North Carolina's Outer Banks.  I get off the interstate and travel the back roads, stopping along the way to see whatever takes my fancy.  I might even stop in at Oak Island, in Nova Scotia, of spend a week in North Dakota with my special "daughter", Chris.

I wonder how long it would take before anyone realized I was gone.  Two weeks?  Maybe longer.  Someone would notice that I hadn't posted on Face Book.  Someone might contact Karen and ask, "Is your Mom all right.  She hasn't posted on Face Book in two weeks."  Then Karen might call and leave a message.  The next week, she might ask the other kids or my sister if they had heard from me.  She might even drive up here and ask a neighbor.

No one knows.  Would they worry?  Would a police report be made for a missing person?  Would there be yellow police tape around my house as they checked for clues?  Would my face appear on a milk carton? 

I have no cell phone to trace my whereabouts by GPS.  

And when I returned, would there be an ambulance ready to take me to the nursing home---where I could be watched 24/7?

========================

Just a selfish, revenge fantasy, that would in the long run, prove my true irrelevance.