title explained

Onward and upward! something that you say in order to encourage someone to forget an unpleasant experience or failure and to think about the future instead and move forward.

My e-mail: jjmiller6213@comcast.net

Thursday, September 17, 2020

 Neighbor and friend Pearl was in the hospital two weeks ago.

I posted a while back that she has been "living" in her recliner.  Having such a hard time walking that she even slept in it.

Two weeks ago, she couldn't manage even to get up on her feet so they took her in.  She was having terrible pain in her legs and they thought she might have a blood clot.  She did not.

Then, they predicted that she had Leukemia.  She was sent home, but in bad shape.

I haven't been in her house to sit down and talk to her since her birthday March 1st.  Then the whole shutdown started.  Some days, I would walk down to her house and peek into her living window.  If she was awake, we'd try and talk and make sign signals and try and read each others lips and laugh.

Home Hospice came in this past Monday, complete with the requisite hospital bed.  Her daughter who has been with Merle and Pearl for the last couple of months, wasn't able to move Pearl around or get her up to get dress, so the taller bed helped.

Her daughter, with the help of the Hospice Aide did manage to get Pearl into her wheel chair and take her out into the sun on Tuesday.  Neighbor Jackie saw them and went over to talk to Pearl.  She said, Pearl only said, "Hi" and  just sat in the chair, looking down at the ground.

Jackie called me this morning at 9:00 to let me know, Pearl died around midnight.  I got dressed and scooted right down there.  

The daughter was there and Merle and her other daughter and the Hospice aide....and Pearl.  I happened to think that she looked just like I had seen her many times.  Asleep, with her mouth open, but....

this time...........................

I went over, bent down and kissed her forehead and tried to hug her.  I had forgotten how cold and gray a person is when they have died.

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Her daughter mentioned they were trying to find a good photo of her for the newspaper obituary and that they remembered I had taken some photos of Pearl at her and Merle's 60th wedding anniversary.

So, I scooted home, turned on my computer and into the picture files and found a couple that were okay.  I printed them out and took them back down to their house.  By then a couple of her grandkids had showed up and were visibly upset, so I scooted out of there.

When I got back home, I looked again at the photos and I must have missed looking at all of them them the first time because there was one, in the center of the file that was the best photo of her taken in 2013.  So, I printed that one off and back down to the house---it's only 60 steps away.

I wondered why the funeral home hadn't come to pick Pearl up.  She had been gone 10 hours, but as I walked home, I saw her son and his wife and kids drive up.  

As Pearl is going to be cremated, they must have been waiting for family members to arrive to "see" her one last time?  Too bad they didn't come to visit while she was still alive?  But then--Pearl had alienated her two oldest kids, so..............

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Finally at round 1:00 this afternoon, a black, unmarked SUV showed up and took her away.  Done so swiftly and carefully that none of the neighbors would even know what was going on.

In fact, Dar called me shortly after they left and asked, "Do you know what's going on over at Pearl and Merle's?"  Her house does not face the street so she wouldn't have seen all the cars coming and going.

Their daughter said, "Now we have to worry about what to do with Dad."  Merle has Parkinsons Disease, but he is strong, walks everyday and some days, rides his bike around the park.

I said, "Well, you don't have to worry about that right now.  Wait and see how he does.  Let him feel his way along for awhile.  You'll be here everyday and you can keep track on if he is taking care of himself."

I said that because it was almost like she was ready to ship him to a home tomorrow and I know, as an old person, that I would want to be alone for awhile to get over the shock and used to the idea of being alone and just see how it went.  

Two weeks ago, Merle had requested that his daughter (a cigarette smoker) give him one of her cigarettes.  When she refused, he asked her if she would buy him a pack of Swisher Sweets--little, thin cigars.  He'd smoke two a day, out in his shed.  When she told me, she said, "Are you shocked that I'd do that?"

I answered, "Heck no. Why not?  At 85 years old, let him enjoy the days he has left."


Pearl Elaine Ott
March 1, 1936-September 17, 2020

    




Saturday, September 5, 2020

It's been awhile, hasn't it?

I have been working on a genealogy for a client that has taken on a life of its own.  She decided she wanted one done for her son, which is like hers, but with photos of his family added.  Then she decided she wanted one for her daughter, who has a different father, and then the daughter notified me that she also wanted her husband family done too--so that their daughter and grand children would have all their ancestor's in the same book.

My client's book is 162 pages, her son's is 170 pages and her daughter's is 240 pages.

I am starting to print out the books this weekend and of course am having printer problems--because that is just a Murphy's Law kind of thing.

Other than that, my grandson that was supposed to have a big wedding on June 6th, and ended up having a small wedding, on June 6th and their big reception this past weekend.  Most of us that attended the small wedding stayed home from the reception so they could invite more of their friends---because of the social distancing and only a certain number of people at gatherings in our State.

It was waaaaay too far away and too long of a weekend for me to tolerate anyway.  
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Other than that--I spent some time in the ER last week, chest pain and come to find out, it was nerve pain coming from my neck/shoulder blade.  They would give me nothing for the severe pain, telling me that nothing unusual showed up on the heart scans or lung x-rays, so they had no idea what was causing the pain.
I guess if they couldn't "see" the pain, it didn't exist and I was just some old, gray haired junkie trying to score some opiates?
One good thing came out of all of it, I found out my heart is strong and perfect and my lungs are clear and perfect too. The scans also showed my liver, kidneys, pancreas, gall bladder and even spleen are in great shape.
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Other than that--I got my hair cut Friday.  This lady that Karen referred me to, is the best stylist for short hair that I have had in many years.  She is also expensive, or what I view as expensive=$40.00 for a cut and style.  I did her genealogy for her in a barter for my hair cut two months ago.  Friday I had managed to save $40.00 all month.  When we were done, she wouldn't take any money.  I asked if she would accept a Tip and laid a twenty dollar bill on the counter.  She didn't want to accept that, but she has a small salon and has been closed down.  Then she said that from now on my hair cuts would be $20.00.  I am thinking to myself that $25.00 sounds better.  I can get that much out of my budget every month--that's what I used to pay the stylist that couldn't cut short hair decently.
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Other than that--I am finally over the anxiety that going back to the grocery store all masked up, hampered me for the first 2 months back.  Karen had done all my grocery shopping for 3 months and the first time I tried it on my own, the mask got so hot I couldn't breathe, there seemed to be too many people and I got anxious.  Well, I have now conquered that.  That's mainly how I get my exercise.  To the grocery store every week or 10 days and walk clear to the back and then over to the grocery department, up and down the aisles and finally out--about 3,000 steps.  My legs muscles are getting stronger now too--since I am back on schedule.
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Other than that--I have a bunch of doctor's appointments and yearly tests that I canceled in March to attend to this month.  AND, I have another genealogy awaiting me and still another one on the horizon.  I probably will be busy with them right up to Christmas time.

Are we going to get to celebrate Christmas with our families this year?

Tuesday, September 1, 2020