Heart Broken

I just received an e-mail from my youngest.

She doesn't want me to contact her or the grandkids in any way shape or form.  I am not to come to her home and see the kids when my older daughter is working there--I am not to go to their school or church for any functions.

I have no idea what post on my old blog upset her, but she has cut me completely out of her life.

and to think, it was a family member who read my blog and notified her that I had posted something about her.

I have been trying to repair our relationship for the last---many years.  Trying to undo the damage--the wedge that the step-mother so successfully created.

Since Fred died, I have reached out to her on so many occasions, asking--no begging to be included in the kids activities--maybe be asked to come to a Sunday afternoon lunch with her family.  She never notified me--never invited me over--never came to visit.

I have tried and tried.  Now, she has told her kids not to e-mail me or call on the phone--we are to have no contact.

I am heart broken!

But wait--after calling Pearl--she came down--and gave me good advice.  It seems that her oldest daughter didn't speak to her for two and a half years and Pearl never did find out what she had done to make her so mad.  Then I remembered something--I keep e-mails from my kids and I went searching.  1995--she sent me an e-mail that she never wanted to speak to me again.   2004--another one accusing me of not calling her enough or seeing the baby.  2005--a nasty one that her oldest has forgotten who I was, because I had made a remark that I hadn't seen them in two months. I did go over there one day and she wouldn't answer the door and I later saw movement--she was hiding with the kids in the toy room.   2006--when she had her third child and her older sister and I were worried that she had post-partum depression and we both talked to her husband about it, she sent us both a nasty e-mail, telling us to stay out of her business and she wouldn't be coming to any family functions.  2009--again--Fred was here at the time and talked me down saying, "You know how she gets."  And now this.  And I have no idea of what I wrote on the blog to upset her.  No clue.

This time, she has discussed all this with the grandkids and now they also hate me.  Why would you discuss something like this about your mother to your kids?

Well--friends--I will not participate in an e-mail, back and forth rant with her.  She doesn't want contact so there will be no contact--there was very little before now anyway.

She is 41--someday when her kids reject her in some way, she may well remember--we are all flawed people.  None of us are perfect--especially mother's.  I just feel badly that she probably has told both her sisters, my sister and other family members that I viciously attacked her and her family "for all the world to see, on that damn blog!".

We've never had a family problem like this.  I have heard of other families where the kids hate their parents, or the parents break off all contact with their kid(s), or siblings get into these kinds of situations--but this has never happened in my family.

It makes me very sad!!!