title explained

Onward and upward! something that you say in order to encourage someone to forget an unpleasant experience or failure and to think about the future instead and move forward.

My e-mail: jjmiller6213@comcast.net

Thursday, January 16, 2020

The Prednisone did help my back.  It got the pain back to a tolerant level---of course it will never be pain free as I have been told, "There is nothing we can do."

I have found that I can still clean surfaces--dust and scrub counters and all the cursed knick-knacks I have on those surfaces.  I just can't lift anything.  

I had a very blessed day yesterday.  I had called Dar and asked if her house cleaning lady ever did "one-time" jobs.  I don't need someone coming in twice a month, like Dar has.  So, she said she'd check and she and the cleaning lady came over yesterday morning.  Come to find out. the cleaning lady is Monica who lives just up the street...I have known her for years.

I just need my kitchen and utility area floor mopped.  I can vacuum, if I am careful and rest, but for some reason, the scrubbing back and forth action kills my back.

She looked it all over and said yes she'd be over Saturday morning to do it.  She said she likes to get down on her hands and knees, so that she can get into all the corners.  Sounded good to me!

When I asked the price, she said, "I'll charge you ten dollars."

My jaw quite literally dropped.  I was speechless for a moment and then said, "Oh no you won't!  You'll take at least twenty!"

I had expected it would cost 20-25 dollars and that is what I had set aside from the money my son gave me for Christmas.

She said she would even move the 3 wooden carts and chest of drawers I used for storage.  I will make sure to get all the surface knick-knacks off them for her.

I just can't believe this!
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Then I decided I had to get to the store.  Their "10 for 10, 11th one free" sale was on.  I drove on in to Brighton and found a parking spot right up by the door.  I managed pretty well with the cart.  If I have the cart to lean on, it doesn't hurt my back too much.

Of course, I had 11 2ltr. jugs of Diet Pepsi and a gallon of milk and a jug of kitty litter.  I wondered how I would carry it all in the house, but just as I backed into my drive, the neighbor kid came home from school and I yelled across the street and he came over and carried in the Pepsi, milk and litter for me.

His Grandma Marilyn is the one whose husband died last spring.  Then in late summer, she fell and tore up her knee.  She was in rehab for 6 weeks.  She and I had talked earlier in the day and I told her I probably should have been using my walker this past week, but it was out in the shed and I didn't have the motivation to walk way out there and get it.

Shortly after her grandson carried in my stuff, her son was at the door asking me if he could get the walker out of the shed for me.  I told him that I didn't really need it anymore and then I remembered something.

I had brought two coolers in from the shed to use to carry the frozen spaghetti sauce in for my Christmas gift for the boys.  Those two heavy coolers were still sitting in my kitchen, so I asked him if he would take them out and put them in the shed, which he did.
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I sat in my recliner last night and such a calm and peaceful feeling came over me.  

I don't ask for help and sometimes it is hard for me to accept, but I was in so much pain that I suppose I was in a weak feeling mood.  Besides, when I thought more about it, I could see God's hand in all of those blessings yesterday.  I just smiled and thanked Him.


Friday, January 10, 2020

I was minding my own business, cleaning up the house--I guess because it feels like Spring outside.
Got the den/computer room all done, washed curtains, dusted, vacuumed.  This is the dustiest room in the house because it houses the cat's litter box and I don't care what any commercial tells you, there is NO such thing as dustless kitty litter!

So yesterday I cleaned the bedroom and the bathroom.
I have a bite guard that I wear at night to keep from biting my tongue and cheeks.  I had lost it and figured it was under the head of the bed on the dusty floor.  So, I decided to pull the bed out--the Queen size bed with box springs, an 18" mattress and a 4" heavy memory foam mattress.
Wrenched my back.  Hurt, but not too bad so I kept on going.  Couldn't find the bite guard, so pushed the bed back in place.  A few minutes later, I found the bite guard under the bedside table.

Then I sprayed down and scrubbed the big shower I have and made many trips back and forth from there to kitchen to wash all my colored and cut glass pretties that I have on my bedroom dresser and shelves in the bathroom.  I got down on the floor to be able to give the toilet a good all over scrubbing.  My back twitched a bit when I pulled myself up.  I had dusted and vacuumed the bedroom, only had the bathroom to finish up.

I sat down in my recliner to rest a bit and 45 minutes later, I couldn't get out of my chair.  My left leg felt numb, with no strength and a razor  (felt like ) ripped across my back.
I reached back and could feel the swelling around that herniated disc on my left side. 

I reached in the drawer of my chair side table and pulled out my TENS device and slapped the pads on my back and set the stimulater impulse up on 50!
I managed to get up, go to the bathroom and then fix myself a sandwich and stayed in my chair until bedtime.

I slept well. When I woke up and tried to get out of bed, I had the same reaction.  Left leg numb and no strength and hard back pain.  I managed to walk to the bathroom and then kitchen bent over double, but when I did bend over to put the cat food bowls down on the floor and went to stand up, such a sharp pain at trying to stand up that I actually screamed. It was like my back had frozen and wouldn't move. Then I started sweating and tears were coming out of my eyes.

I got into my computer chair that has really good support.  The pain was horrific...worse than it has ever been.  I was kind of scared.  Wondering if I should go to the ER.  I got on FB, to take my mind off and posted about what was going on...hoping to get some encouragement and ask for prayers.

At 9:00 I tried to call the pain doctor to see if he would give me a refill on the Prednisone Step-Down pack I had before.  His office was closed until Tuesday.
Then I called my primary care doc, knowing since he didn't write the original scrip, he might not write one for me now.  He was out until 1:30.

Meanwhile, daughter Karen had called yesterday to tell me she was coming out after her morning classes.  I called her phone and left a message asking her if she could stop on her way here and get me some cat food and Diet Pepsi.  She arrived at noon with my stuff.  She couldn't stay as she had to get down to her daughter's to take care of the kiddies.

I got a call at 1:45 from my primary care doc that he HAD called in a script for me.  I called the Pharmacy and they said it would be ready in half an hour.

So--how was I going to get to my car and inside the store?  My left leg was no longer numb, but the back pain was still horrible.  I managed, by walking bent over, to get down the porch steps and into my car.  Got up to Walmart and there just happened to be ONE space open right by the Pharmacy door.  I thanked God and crawled out of my car, got a cart that was sitting next to my car and used it to lean on to get into the store.  The script was not a Step-Down pack, but just regular Prednisone 10mg, 5 pills, take one a day.  I assume it will work just as well or maybe even better than the Step-Down pack that I take teeny-tiny pills 5 times a day, then 4 a day, then etc.

My car is kind of low to the ground, so trying to get my 5'10" frame up and out of the car has been a problem for many years, today it was near impossible.    I turned in the seat so I could get both feet on the ground and then reached up to the top of the door to help lift me up and give me leverage.  Of course, that made the door want to close on my lower legs.  What a comedy of errors.

I tried again--this time taking a deep breath and sort of yelling as I pushed myself up onto my feet.  I hope no neighbors were watching!

Got up the porch steps, one step at a time, holding firmly onto the hand rail and got in the house and headed for my computer chair again.  My, by now, warm Diet Pepsi was sitting on my desk and I had my prescription bottle in my hand and whipped the top off to swallow one of the pills.

The Prednisone will take down the inflammation and swelling, which is causing all the pain and I should be okay after a weekend of resting.
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Yes--my kitchen looks like the Wreck of the Hesperes and was on my agenda to clean today--not happening.  My living room will be pretty easy to clean--that's not happening either.  All my pretty colored and cut glass is shiny clean...sitting on my kitchen counter ready to be put back in it's proper place--that's not happening either as it involves too much walking back and forth.

It's my fault.  I did it to myself trying to move the heavy bed.  I should and do know better.  So...now I have to pay the Piper, whomever he is.  My script only cost .67 cents so that Piper was easily paid.
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It's nearly 5:00 and my main objective is to get to my recliner, put my feet up and hope that I can get up once in a while to go potty, make a sandwich for supper and crochet and cross stitch for the rest of the day.

I sure hope there is something good to watch on TV tonight.

Monday, January 6, 2020

I've made it through 6 days of 2020 and so far, it's been great.

However, I seem to be a bit discombobulated.  I'm not real sure what day it is--name or number.  It seems like from Christmas until this past weekend was one long weekend or something.  Plus, our weather has been sunny and mild, with no snow, and that just isn't normal.  I feel like there is only a few days until Spring begins.  

I don't know what it is, but something is throwing me off.  Maybe I am just getting more senile and having a hard time concentrating.  There sure is enough household chores to keep me busy for a week, but I seem to forget about them---until I'm laying in bed, then I start making lists.

I need a haircut--I do know that.  It's only been about 3 weeks since my last one, but the woman at Fantastic's Sam's---whom I have gone to before--just can't seem to understand the way I want my hair cut.  She always leaves some areas too long and they grow out so quickly, compared to the other areas, that I am looking like Bozo the Clown.

Oh believe me, if I could afford $35-40 every 6 weeks, I would be going to a decent salon with "real" professional hair stylists.  I think those stylists that work at Sam's, or Walmart, or places like that failed their tests to get into a good salon.  

Today, I had to run all over this area.  Down to Brighton to the inkjet refill place, then stopped to get gas.  Then a stop at the Print Shop and then on up to Howell.  I live half-way between Brighton and Howell and it is only an 8 mile trip from the inkjet place and where I had to go in Howell, but it felt like I was on the road all afternoon.

I have received an e-mail from one of my blog buddies that she is interested in having her genealogy done.  You know how much I love the journey of climbing someone's family tree.  So I am chomping at the bit.  I just finished one that went 24 generations up the tree.  The lady thought her family was Scot, but all of her ancestor's came from Ireland.  That might be the reason she is a true redhead?  I'm sure she is going to be surprised.

Right now, I am working on crochet gifts for next Christmas.  Trying to find a pattern I like for a dishcloth for each woman and of course, a nylon scrubbie to go along with it.  I spent too much on the ladies in my family this year, soooo------rather than stop giving gifts, that has been suggested by a daughter, I will just cut back and do what I did two years ago.  The girls LOVE those scrubbies!

I don't know what I will do for the boys.  The spaghetti sauce I make can get expensive and because it takes 3 days to make the sauce and I have to make 3 different batches, it gets hard on my back to stand for a long time preparing the ingredients.

Oh, and by the way, just to be a bit political, I'm glad we took out the Iranian big dog and his second in command.    Truman didn't ask Congress before he dropped the A-bomb and Trump didn't need to ask Congress before he sent in an un-manned drone.

Just my opinion.


Tuesday, December 31, 2019

Resolutions

...I make them every year.  
Usually to be a better person, less critical, kinder.
...but then there comes a time when I realized that I WAS a better person.  I had reached perfection.  So there is no need for any more New Year resolutions!

NOT!!!  Just spoofing you.
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I don't go out to church anymore (maybe that should be a resolution?).  I watch 3 different Pastor's on Sunday morning.  Every day, between the noon news and my Soap, I watch Joyce Meyer.  I'm not real keen on her, but her program is conveniently placed and I do learn.

I seem to be getting messages from all of these pastor's.  Why are they all teaching on the same thing at the same time, I wonder.  Hm-mm, maybe it's a God whisper sent just for me?

They all seem to teach and quote from scripture that if you are facing a challenging situation, the longer you complain about it, the longer you will stay in that situation.  The secret, is to TRUST that God will provide everything you NEED.

Well, I know that!  

I've witnessed that many times in the last few years.
My faith has become deeper, my belief stronger.
I've had months when there was no way I had enough money to pay the bills, let alone buy anything special to eat.  I do get sick of eating Ramen Noodles, but they are filling.

I complain about it every month.  Rant and rave on here.  The bills go up, the income does not.  I get scared.  My faith weakens.

...and yet, every month something comes through to help.  Finding a couple of twenty's laid on my bathroom counter after my sister's visit.  A surprise, "thinking of you" note from my cousin with a twenty inside.  My daughter Karen bringing by some food that she knows I particularly love.  A check from daughter Jennifer.  Support from my sweet girl, Chris.

Maybe if I quit complaining about my situation and see more clearly the blessings I receive, my situation will change?
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My resolution:  if any of you remember this Bing Crosby song...
"You gotta accentuate the positive,
Eliminate the negative.
Latch on to the affirmative,
And don't mess with Mister In-Between."
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When I get scared, push that thought away with a prayer.
Know FOR SURE, that God will provide.  He always has, He isn't about to stop now.
Work on deepening my faith with that knowledge.

I have a feeling, deep in my "gut" that 2020 is going to be a really good year, not just for me, but for all of us.

Looking forward and onward and upward!
  

Sunday, December 29, 2019

The family Christmas gathering up at The Farm was wonderful.
We have such a nice family.
No drinking.
No political discussions.
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Singing Christmas carols, while my sister played the piano.
Just everyone reveling in their love for each other.

The oldest and the youngest in the family

Wednesday, December 25, 2019

Well, Merry Christmas and isn't it a fine day!
or Bah Humbug--whichever.

Here I sit alone all day, as I was yesterday.  Christmas Eve--the DAY we used to celebrate our FAMILY Christmas.

Nary a phone call.
Not one single invite.
My sister had Christmas with her son on Eve.  Last year she promised me, no matter what, we would be together every Eve.
Hm-mm.

My grand daughter Susanna, got in from Portland last night, so I know daughter Karen and all her kids and grandkids are together today.  I could have gone over, for a visit, if I had been invited.

Ah-hh.  But why does it matter.  Jesus was born in September.  It was only some early Pope that decided to out-wit the Pagans celebration of the Winter Solstice.  He'd make a decree that Jesus' birth would be celebrated at the same time of year.

As my Mother once said, "Just so we celebrate it."

I suppose winter time is as good a time as any.  People aren't too busy in the midst of December.  

Pine trees don't lose their branches in winter, so we can drag one inside our homes and decorate it, like the Pagans did, but....be sure to put a Nativity scene under it to make it legal.
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I'll tell you why it matters.  TRADITION!!!!!!  You are SUPPOSED to be with family on holiday's!

So today is just an ordinary Wednesday.  Heck--even my dang Christmas cactus didn't bloom!  My Soap is even going to be on TV today.

Just an ordinary Wednesday.


Saturday, December 21, 2019

Are we all counting down the hours?


Not so much here.  It's kind of sad.  Christmas was my favorite holiday for half my life.  It was so much fun, when my kids were young.  I got more excited than they did--I think.



I'd start in mid-November to put lights up on every bush in the front yard and climbed out the bedroom window to get up on the roof to anchor a big lighted star to the TV antennae and hang lights on the eaves of the house.  I had a garage door cover of the Nativity scene, but instead of putting it on the garage, I stapled it to a large piece of plywood and placed it in a small grove of trees we had, with a spot light on it.  We even had our home featured in the local paper one year.



The inside of the house was bejeweled too.  A real tree touched the ceiling.  Red and gold decoration and candles on every flat surface, or some years, blue and silver.  Lighted candles on timers, in all 30 windows...even the dining room chandelier was wrapped in tinsel and glass balls.  I had a long mirror that I put on top of the piano and laid clear lights along the surface, with a green garland and pieces of crystal to catch the light and sparkle.



Even when the grand babies started coming, it was exciting.  We got together on Christmas Eve with my folks and on Christmas Day, went to my in-laws for our celebration there.



Then, the divorce happened.  We still got together on Christmas Eve with my Dad, at The Farm house where my sister now lives.  Then, my Dad died, but we still got together on Christmas Eve.  Then, the grand kids grew up and it was difficult to get everyone together on Christmas Eve.



So, last year it was on the 21st and this year on the 28th.



BAH HUMBUG!!!

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I used to have a website with children's stories on it.  I had a lot of traffic on that site and it was a good place to advertise when I had one of my children's illustrated books published.  I had a teacher who e-mailed me and asked permission to print out and use some of the stories in her 1st grade classroom.


Then, over the years, it kind of died out, so I took it down.  Luckily, I had all the stories and illustrations saved in Word documents and picture files.



I decided to make a book for GGrand daughter Della for Christmas this year.  As I progressed along, editing and printing, I realized the book was going to be too big.  I had 197 pages!



I had a lot of short 2-3 pages stories and a few funny poems and then a longer story about adventures of a Scarecrow and another 3 different stories about a little girl named Emmy.  Plus, I had written 3 stories of biographical things from me growing up on a farm in the 40's and 50's.



So, I had 3 different books bound at the print shop yesterday.


I went searching on Google Images trying to find something for the Emmy book and I found a pencil drawing that looks so much like Della.  She might not notice, but I'll bet her Mom will.

I patterned the Emmy stories after my child self.  Della is a strong willed little girl, much as I was as a child.  The only difference, I got spanked when I acted that way.  LOL
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.......and the beat goes on around here.  I'm just looking forward to the new year.  Why it has any significance is beyond me.  It is just another day, but I like the way "twenty-twenty" sounds when I say it.  2019 was a bad year for me, so I guess I'm pinning my hopes on 2020.

Later....................................