title explained

Onward and upward! something that you say in order to encourage someone to forget an unpleasant experience or failure and to think about the future instead and move forward.

My e-mail: jjmiller6213@comcast.net

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Yawn

Well--you all have enlightened me!  Thanks for that.  I do like knowing of how you all have met some of life/relationship problems and resolved them into goodness.

Again, my perspective comes from my background.  On my Mother's side of the family--Methodist minister's for 5 generations.  It wasn't talked about, but "assumed" that we would all marry Protestant's and preferably Methodist's.   My Mother probably would have been tickled pink if I had married the Baptist preachers son!

Just an aside here--a memory.  The kids I knew that were Baptist, weren't allowed to come to any of the school dances and they didn't play cards.  What the rest of us noticed however, on any class or band trips, especially on the way home, the Baptist kids were in the back of the bus necking like crazy!  Us Methodist kids were up in front playing Euchre.  HAH!

On our second date, I asked Fred.  "I know you live close to Ann Arbor and usually date women from there.  Who do you root for in sports?  Michigan or Michigan State?"

He answered, "I root for Wisconsin."

"Who do you root for when Michigan and Michigan State play each other?"

"Michigan State.  I can't stand those arrogant people from Ann Arbor."

Needless to say, he was a keeper.  In my weird brain, I would have MORE problems living with someone who was a Michigan fan, than living with someone who was a Catholic or Democrat.  HAH!  I am so shallow!
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Okay, I gotta ask.  This probably only pertains to you living north of the Mason/Dixon line but....I have been so lethargic for the last couple of weeks.  No gumption nor energy to do anything.  I would like to snuggle into my bed and sleep for the next 15 hours!  

I don't know if it's because the darkness is coming earlier and earlier each day or if it's from the cooler weather, but I just want to hibernate.  I have to push myself to do anything!  Twice in the last two weeks, I have fallen asleep in my recliner at 4:00 each time.  I NEVER take a nap  I find myself yawning during the day.

I don't remember going through this last fall.  I wonder what could be causing this.
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Flu shot today.  It didn't hurt and so far, my arm is not aching.  That's about all the energy I could extend today.  

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Thoughts

I am way off base and probably completely wrong about a marriage being "easier" if the couple are alike in their beliefs.  My thoughts coming from what was perceived back in the 1950's, and where and how I was raised.

Nowadays, with more people going to college and meeting and having friends from diverse backgrounds, there is not such a problem with what we would have called "inter-marriages".  I just worry for my grand daughter.  

Her younger brother was in love with a Baptist girl.  They were so in love with each other.  Her family had practically disowned her because she was dating a Catholic.  They went together three years and were talking of marriage, but the girl would not convert.  Their relationship ended, she went back to her family and, after another almost three years, he is still devastated.  If he had ONLY dated Catholic girls, there would not have been that problem.  Other problems perhaps, but not the religious one.

And yet, I know of a couple who went against their families wishes and married, she Methodist, he Catholic.  They had six children.  She raised the girls Methodist, he took the boys to Catholic services.  They were married 60 years and very happily.  There may have been some worrisome influence that their children felt though, because the Catholic boys married Catholic girls and the Methodist girls, married Methodist boys.

And yet, my first husband and I were alike in all things.  We had known each other from 6th grade on.  We attended the same church in town, both alike in politics and backgrounds.  Look how that turned out.  Even after 27 years of marriage, it ended in divorce.

So, it's not that I am prejudiced against these kinds of relationships and marriages.  It's just that I worry about my grandchildren.  I want their lives to be smooth and easy.  Which, of course, no ones life can ever be. However, she will be transferred to Washington, DC in another few months and so I should quit worrying about the boyfriend, who will remain in Michigan and worry more about her living in DC!
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Something that I found weird.  Back, when I was in high school.  I was helping my mother clean her bedroom one day and as I rearranged her under wear drawer came upon a book entitled, "What To Do If Your Daughter Dates a Catholic".  

I was a Sophomore at the time.  There were two Catholic families in our school.  All the kids younger than me.  Why did she think she needed to read that book?  Maybe in case I went on to college and got all crazy and met <gasp> a Catholic boy?

Little did she know, I wouldn't have dated a Catholic.  Heck, I wouldn't have even dated a Baptist!  At that time, I thought Catholics worshiped graven images and Baptist's were way too preachy.

And now, my three daughter's are Catholic's, five of my grandchildren are Catholic and the other four are Lutheran's.  

What is the difference?  We all worship the same God.

Still, if I were to date again, I wouldn't date a Baptist or a Catholic or a Jew, or a black, or a Hispanic, Italian, a man who drank, or was a University of Michigan fan.  My friend John is Nazarene, Italian/Polish, UofM fan, so that leaves him out.  HAH!    

I hit the jackpot when I met Fred, a non-drinking, farm kid from Wisconsin, German, Methodist, Republican, MSU fan. Just like me.  Maybe that's why we got along so well and never had one disagreement? :-)
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I have to tell you--remember Dar coming over and telling me I HAD to check on her Dad every day he is staying with her?  Well, last evening John was out walking his dog and Dar saw him.  She said, "My Dad is coming to visit me for three weeks.  Whenever you are out walking the dog, go up and ring the bell and check on him."  then she walked away.

John said, "I was so flabbergasted I was speechless.  I don't know her Dad...I don't even know her that well, but........she sure is a bossy one, isn't she?"

"Yes."

"She didn't even ask nicely...she just made a demand and I am suppose to obey."

"Well, she told Merle and Pearl the same thing and me too."

"What is her problem?  I'd hate to have to live with that!  I'd hate to have to work with someone like that.  I don't even want a conversation with someone like that!  I think Maisey and I will take our walks around the other way so I don't have to take a chance on ever seeing her again!"

Yes--she is a piece of work for sure.
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Last, but certainly not least--good news here--Cindy, my son Mark's companion called me at 2:00 just to let me know that yesterday Mark had more blood tests and another MRI and---his cancer is receding!!!  When he was first diagnosed, his PSA number was 20.  I don't know much about prostate problems, but the number is suppose to be around 4.  After being on the treatment in pill form since end of July, his number has dropped to 6.8!!

The oncologist was ecstatic!  Nowadays, the doctor's can put together different drugs specifically for the person's genetic codes.  What is working for Mark wouldn't necessarily work for another man.  It's amazing what can now be done to personalize cancer treatments.

He was surprised that the pills hadn't made Mark ill or weak.  Mark feels great.  He walks two miles everyday and has felt just fine.

Needless to say, we all are over the moon and very hopeful.  No--I don't think he will ever be "cured", but he very well may be able to be on a maintenance program for many, many years and have a normal life.

I might add, one good thing about having an attorney in the family is all the sources Jennifer has at her disposal.  When Mark was first diagnosed, she called around---many phone calls and recommendations until she found one of the best prostate cancer doctors in this area.  He is also involved with Cancer Treatment Centers of America, so he is very "up" on the latest treatments.

I have been a bit lethargic and down in the dumps lately, that news just put a smile on my face and a PRAISE GOD song in my heart!!!!!

  






Monday, October 12, 2015

Sunday-A Perfect Day

I rode up to The Farm with Karen, her oldest daughter Helene and Helene's boyfriend.  They wanted to pick apples.

While they were busy, I walked in the fields and around the barns and part of the woods.  For some reason, it was very emotional for me.

After we left, we stopped in at Pammies.  While they were all in the living room talking, I sneaked the basement door open and sniffed.  It smelled just like it did when I lived there.  Then I went outside and into the barns--they smelled the same as they did when my Grandma lived there too.

We got into the car and I had tears in my eyes.  So many memories.  Deep sadness that I didn't live there anymore.  Sadness that my divorce probably caused me to not be able to live there still.

Karen said, "Are you okay, Mom?  You haven't said a word since we left Pam's"

"Yeah.  I'm just tired."  I kept my face turned toward the window on my side of the car.

"Are you crying?"

"Nope.  I was out in the barns and I think my dust allergy is kicking up."
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By the way:  My grand daughter Helene is a devout Catholic.  When I saw a picture she posted on FB of her and the boyfriend, I clicked onto his page.  His family is Orthodox Jew.

From my experience, these kinds of relationships usually don't work out.

Saturday, October 10, 2015

Up North

My kids had a weekend up north.  Wish I could have been there too. <sigh>

Jennifer, Karen, Cindy (Mark's companion) Pammie
My Mark and Karen's Mark (Rivard)

They practically had to hog-tie and drag my Mark up there, but he ended up having a wonderful time.  I haven't seen him looked that relaxed in a very long time. (He doesn't look like he has cancer, does he?)

Friday, October 9, 2015

Sometimes, I Get Real Tired of People

Pearl's daughter showed up.  She couldn't remember the password she had put in, so she deleted Pearl's Face Book account and registered a new one.

Heck!  I could have done that!  Thought about doing that, but then Pearl wouldn't have any "Friends".  As it is, she can't find any of her games, so yesterday, when she was down for a visit, I showed her how to search for the games she likes.  The password the daughter chose?  pearlott1.  Yeah--that's a real good one.
<sigh>

But I promised to stay out of it and out of it I am.
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So, Dar came over.  Her Dad is going to stay with her for three weeks, while her brother and SIL, whom Dad lives with, are on vacation.  Among the many things Dar wants me to do, while she is at work, stop over and ring the bell and go in and talk to Dad.  #2.  Try and get Dad to go for a walk with me up to the lake.  #3.  Check on him and make sure he isn't just sitting in the chair sleeping all day, while she is at work.

Oh yes, and if she calls and asks me out to supper with them, I am not to refuse--no matter what, because Dad needs stimulating conversation with someone other than family.

Don't you just love it?  I've met Dad once.  Dad is 94.  I could not care less if he wants to sit in the chair, watch TV and sleep while she's gone.  I told her, "Your Dad is not my responsibility.  If I see him outside, sure I will talk to him, but I'm not going to be bopping into your house every day to check on him."

I found out later, she stopped in to Pearl and Merle's and ask them the same thing.  Pearl said, "I've never been in your house.  I've never met your Dad.  I don't feel comfortable going over there and checking on him."

My theory?  If you offered for Dad to come live with you for three weeks, take three weeks vacation from work and take care of him yourself!
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Into my fall housecleaning.

Got my bedroom done, but did not empty the closet to swap out my summer to winter clothes and thus, did not get to drain and flush the water heater.

Did get the bathroom and laundry area all done and spotless.  Did this--




Did get the kitchen done.  Windows washed on the inside, kitchen curtains soaked in this
Washed, starched, ironed and back up.

John and Maisey stopped in for a porch chat.  Maisey had just returned from the beauty parlor and John brought me some of the best chicken soup I have ever had.  Nothing fancy--just like Grandma used to make.  Chicken, noodles, carrots, onion and celery.

Today is cleaning and rearranging of the living room.  The dreaded office/computer/storage room will wait until next week.

Don't forget to clean out your dryer lint trap--at the dryer and also the outside vent.  Turn your dryer on while you do the outside--it helps blow all the lint out.  Change your furnace filter and, if you live in the colder climates, push the switch on your ceiling fans UP so the fan moves the hot air down towards the floor.

Now, if those people weren't in my way, I'd have a much nicer view of the woods and and the trees.


<Sigh>

Looking forward to Saturday so I can sit in my chair, watch UofMichigan football at noon and Michigan State football in the late afternoon and crochet and knit for hours!!!

Aren't these cute?  They may look like hats, but they are bath mitts.  Large, med, small and child sized.

I am starting a hat pattern--looks complicated, but I will do it--one row at a time. :-)

GO GREEN--beat Rutgers.


Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Things Like This Make Me Sad

Pearl called Monday.

"Can you take me to pick up my computer?"

"Sure.  Did Marge call Heidi and get the password thingy figured out?"

"No!  Marge is being snippy right now.  I just want my computer back so I can play my games on Face Book."

"Okay.  I gotta go potty and then I will be right up."

Back home, I managed to get the computer into the house and onto Pearl's office chair so we could wheel it down the narrow hallway to her bedroom.

I sat back and let her plug all the wires in.  She had used bread bag clips to label each wire.  Of course, the ink had smeared on them and she could read none.  I told her, "Each wire has a color on it and you just plug it in to the corresponding colored hole on the back of the computer."

She was holding the last wire and looking at it.  "Oh.  I know," she said.  "This one goes into a USB port."  and she plugged it in.

She did a great job and the computer fired up quickly.  She liked that.

She then clicked on the Face Book icon and her login came up.  There was her e-mail address.  YAY.  The little box for her password was empty.

"What do I do now?"

"Type in your Face Book password."

"I don't know it."

"Well...let me think.  When I set you up for Face Book, we used "tiger09" as your password.  The same one you have on your on-line banking account."

She typed in "tiger09". 

 Incorrect password.

"Now what?" she said.

"I don't know.  That's the only password I know of you having."

"Marge changed it, I think.  I guess I'll have to get her to come over here and figure it out."

"Guess so.  She's the only one that knows it.  When she gets here, I want you to write down the password...on Face Book, on your bank, on your g-mail--which is your e-mail account now."

"Okay."

"I suggest you use a simple one that you will never forget.  Use the same one on all your accounts that call for a password."

"Like what?"

"Oh...like your name and birth date.  pearleo3136."

"Oh..yeah...that's a good one.I'd never forget that"

"We hope not!"
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It is now Wednesday evening.  Marge has yet to show up.  So Pearl has her nice, cleaned up, fast running computer, but no way to use it.

Breaks my heart!!!

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

May The Circle Be Unbroken




There is an engraving inside this wedding band.  It is scarcely visible.  The letters read:  R.U.W. to H.M.C  Oct.6, 1915

It has been 100 years since my grandfather Roy Ulmer Walts, placed this ring on my grandma Helene Mary’s left ring finger.  She never took it off.

On October 21, 1966, the day she died in Hurley Hospital in Flint, MI, it must have fallen off her finger, because the funeral director wanted to know if she had a wedding ring and if we wanted it placed on her finger.  We had no clue it had been lost.

I drove to Flint and the hospital to ask if the ring had been found and placed in lost and found.  The nice lady checked for me, but whispered, “If it fell off in her bed clothes, whoever found it, probably kept it.”

Two weeks later, just on a whim and because it bothered me so that grandma had  been buried without her wedding ring, I stopped into Hurley and checked again.  This time, the same nice lady said, “I’m going to check further.”

Fifteen minutes later she was back.  “Can you describe the ring?”  

“Yes—just a plain, thick, gold band, but wait….there is an engraving inside with R.U.W and H. M.C.”  I had just remembered my grandma telling me of that engraving so many years ago.  A God whisper for sure.

The lady handed me a small brown paper envelope and inside—grandma’s ring!  “It was found in the laundry room and put in the office.  We didn’t know who it belonged too.”  I hugged her, thanked her and we both wept.

I drove home, so happy and took it to my Daddy.  He opened the little envelope and said, “I can’t believe someone turned it in!  Well, it’s too late to bury it with Ma now…why don’t you just keep it.”


I put it on the middle finger of my right hand and have worn it every day since---49 years.  

When I die, it will go to my oldest grand daughter, Helene Mary Rivard, who was named after my grandma.