title explained

Onward and upward! something that you say in order to encourage someone to forget an unpleasant experience or failure and to think about the future instead and move forward.

My e-mail: jjmiller6213@comcast.net

Monday, May 8, 2017

Feeling great--at least today.

The sun woke me at 7:15 and the cats nosed me until I got up at 7:30.  I felt great and remembered that I had salmon patties last night for supper. LOL

I had lots to do today and I did it all in fine order.  I needed to go into Brighton and with all the Main Street construction going on, I decided to go in the back way.  I came out on the side street by the Meijer grocery store, got my groceries--I had my list, up to the gas station and then remembered how hard it was to get on the main street if I went out the front drive.

So I went out the back way, down two blocks, then up to a traffic light and when it turned green, made a left turn on to the main drag.  Up another two blocks to Michael's on my right, got my floss and instead of going further up to take a small side road out of that mall, I doubled back to the light I came in on.

Turned right and right on homeward bound.  I stopped at the Print Shop (right turn) to get two pedigrees printed out and then home.  Unloaded all the groceries and put them away.

The only mis-step I had was when I got home, I pulled into my driveway, then remembered all the groceries in the trunk, so backed out and up a bit and backed in to make the trunk nearer the porch.

I had kind of mapped out my trip in my mind with mostly right turns involved and everything was as smooth as silk.  

I feel good about all of it.  Oh, by the way, I had roast beef and a baked potato for supper tonight.  HAH!

Sunday, May 7, 2017


I am starting to notice something--scary.

My short term memory is getting bad.

When I first wake up in the morning, I am a bit confused as to what day it is.  If you asked me right then, "What did you have for supper last night?", I wouldn't be able to tell you.  

Sometimes, while falling asleep at night, I think of something I want to do the next day, but the next day---I have to really think hard and for a long time on, what it is I wanted to do, and even then I can't recall.

Last Thursday night, instead of being in my computer room the last place I am before I go to bed, I was watching TV and got up and went to bed.  Friday morning when I came in here, my computer was still on and my night time pills were still in the little box.  Thankfully, I have my table lamp in here on a timer, or it would have still been on.

To top it all off, last month I forgot to pay a bill.

I have some bills I pay by check and some I pay on-line out of my checking account.  Along about April 28th, I was reconciling my checking account balance and was $40.00 less than what the bank was showing.  I went check by check against my bank statement.  I couldn't figure it out.  On the list I print out of what is due, when it is due, I had lined out that bill, so I knew I had paid it.

Later that day, I got an e-mail from the company saying my account was overdue.  I quickly got into that account and realized at once what I had done.

I had put in the information, what I was to pay, the day I wanted to pay, but had forgotten to click on the "submit" button.


Sometimes I even forget how to spell a word and have to Google it to get the correct spelling.
I have no problems remembering birthdays or appointments.  I have no problems when doing my genealogies.  I keep things on schedule and in good order, but the other things......................

Now I worry what I may have forgotten something that is really important.  

I have always been very organized and kept everything in my mind without needing to make lists.  Now, I have to write everything down!

It's creeping me out!  Do I need to see a neurologist and get a memory test?

Saturday, May 6, 2017

The weather doesn't help.................

.........my mood.

I have always been very aware of the weather.  My Daddy taught me a lot about what kind of weather was coming.  No TV's back then with their predictions and forecasts.  Daddy could tell by the way the clouds moved, how the wind felt and how the animals acted.  

I distinctly remember a summer day when I was about ten years old.  I was playing outside, enjoying the sunshine and Daddy came walking toward the barn--he was walking fast.

"You get all the chickens in the coop and haul your rabbit cages into the barn.  I gotta get the cows up from the pasture."

"Why, Daddy?"

"See those clouds?" he pointed west, out in the country, you can see the sky from a long ways off.  "There's a lot of wind in those clouds.  We've got a bad storm brewing."

Well of course, I did as I was told.  Took me nearly half an hour.  Have you ever herded chickens?

I loaded my rabbits, in their cages, into my wagon and hauled them over to the barn and dragged them inside.  Just then I heard Daddy getting the cows in their stanchions.

As we stepped out to head to the house, I could hear the wind roaring in those clouds and fat drops of rain pelting down.

Mother already had all the windows in the house closed as Daddy and I ran up into the back porch.  A glass enclosed porch.

We stood in the kitchen, looking out the window that faced west.  All of a sudden, Mother turned and Daddy grabbed my arm and we ran down into the basement.  Michigan Cellar is what it was--stone walls and dirt floor.  We could hear sounds of glass breaking, loud thunder and the wind roaring overhead.

When things calmed down a bit, we climbed up the wobbly wooden steps and looked around.  Everything looked okay until we walked into the kitchen.  Our big Willow tree that I loved to climb in, was split in half and it was smoldering.  It had been hit by lightning.  

We had twin pine trees in the front yard, where two rope swings hung from the lower boughs--one pine tree was laying on it's side.  "There's hail out there six inches deep," Mother said.

Then Daddy walked out into the porch-room to go outside to check for damage.  "Dorathy, come here," he yelled.  Every west facing window in that room was shattered and rain was pouring in.

He stepped outside and stood on the cement step, I heard him moan.  There sat our almost new car, at the end of the path that divided our lawn.  It was covered in pock marks from the hail damage.
Being in tune with the weather, the last four days of steady rain and temperatures in the 40's, with nary a glimpse of the sun, everything has made me moody.   I shouldn't complain.  When I see the news photos of the floods down south, I can't even imagine what those people are going through.  There is water to the roof-lines of their homes!  How do you ever recover from something like that?

It's the 6th of May!!  Mother Nature, bring us some warmth, okay?

The sun is out today and my mood is better.  Still only a "high" in the 50's and freezing temps every night.  The furnace still comes on from time to time.

I just saw a guy walk by in tank top and shorts, walking his dog.  I ran to my indoor/outdoor weather station to see the outside temperature.  48 degrees!  By the way the guy is dressed, I thought it might be in the 60's.  Nope!
I DID walk up to Merle and Pearl's yesterday afternoon.  I didn't know it, but this is the second time in a week that they had to call the ambulance people for help.  She fell last week.

I asked her how and why she fell.  Did she get dizzy?  Did she black out?  Wasn't she using her walker?

No, she wasn't dizzy.  She didn't black out.  Yes she was using her walker, but she has no strength in her legs and they collapse and even using the walker, she just goes down.  She is so heavy that Merle can't get her up, so he has to call the ambulance people.  

Two summers ago, when Merle was so sick and weak and they couldn't figure out what was wrong with him, Pearl seemed to keep herself going.  She walked out to get the mail every day.  She'd walk down here to visit.  She worked in her small flower garden.  She cleaned house and did it all--grocery shopping, driving her car.

The minute Merle was diagnosed with Parkinson's and responded (like a miracle) to the drugs they put him on.........it was like Pearl just sat down and gave up.  She has always said that she wants to die first because Merle could get along better, by himself, than she could, if he went first.  

It almost seems to me that she has decided to just give up, sit in her chair and wait for her last breath.  WHICH IS STUPID, because she has NO health problems!!  Her heart is strong.  She doesn't have high blood pressure or cholesterol, no breathing problems.  She takes two pills a day--for pain.  That's it!

She could easily live another ten years, but of course, she won't.  

She doesn't move because her legs hurt.  Her legs hurt because she doesn't move.  Her muscles are wasting away.  AND SHE WON'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT, and good or bad weather---her attitude still makes my mood sad!!!

Friday, May 5, 2017

Are there days................

.......when you get ticked off, for no particular reason?

Early this morning--well 8:30, I looked out and noticed an ambulance parked in front of Pearl and Merle's house.  They weren't there very long and brought no one out on a stretcher and were soon gone.  I called to find out and Merle said that when Pearl tried to get out of her chair, she slipped down so her shoulders were low on the back and her bottom was hanging over the edge of the seat and she couldn't get up.  Merle couldn't lift her, so he called for help.

By 9:15 Dar was rattling my still locked front door and wanted to know what was going on with the ambulance.  I told her what had happened and she scoffed.

"How could Pearl allow herself to get in such bad shape she can't even get out of her chair?!"

"I don't know.  It's very sad."

"Sad?  It's stupid!  She needs to get into physical therapy!"

Then she jumped into her "it's all about me" thingie and went on to tell me she is going back to the Psycho Therapist next Tuesday so he can work with her on bio-feedback and other methods to rid her of her (imaginary) pain.

"Are you going to have hypnosis?  He said it would help."

"Oh no!  I can't be hypnotized.  I can't allow that control to be taken away from me."

"Control is not taken away from you.  You aren't unconscious!  You are just in a relaxed state--kind of like when you are sitting in your chair dozing, but you still hear the TV.  You can stand up at any time you want."

"No!  That scares me."

"That's very sad.  You talk about Pearl not helping herself and you are doing the same thing."
I'm ticked off at both of these women.  They complain and moan and groan and yet...won't do a thing to help themselves.

Then, there's Jackie, directly across the street from me.  Nearly 80 years old, went in Tuesday for shoulder surgery, at 10:00, and home by 2:00.  No hospital stay.  No going to the rehab place for a few days.  Came home, with a pain pump and her grand daughter to stay a few days.  What a woman!!!
On Face Book this morning, there were 3 links friends had "shared".  All three of the links were either from a "satire" or "fake" news company source.  They just go along sharing these links without even considering if the "news" is true and thus, stirring up even more (usually political) anger from their friends that comment.  I hate it when people start arguing with each other in the comments area.  Argue with the person who posted the link, not with their friends that comment!

I am also ticked at President Trump.  I just wish he would do The Job and quit with the Twitter.  He talks too much and a lot of what he says is down right stupid!!

When he was rambling about how Andrew Jackson could have talked it out and stopped the Civil War and why was that war fought anyway.  I just wanted to scream!!!  Good Grief!  Did he not have any history lessons in those schools he went too?  Andrew Jackson died 15 years before the Civil War started.  He has a bust of Andrew Jackson in the Oval office.  He is one of his heroes.  If so, shouldn't he know the history of the man's life?  

I had to live through 8 years of Dumb and Dumber and now...4 years of  Bozo the Yellow-Haired Clown?

There are a lot of qualified Presidential candidates out there.  Why aren't they nominated?
Then I just read a quotation on a friend's blog.  "Keep busy in your pursuit of all, in these last years.  Do not expect much from others.  Take responsibility for your own happiness, without depending on anyone else."  

This is painfully true to me and reminds me, I haven't heard anything from my kids or my sister since Easter.
Ever have one of these kinds of days?

I think I'll walk up to Pearl's and talk for awhile.

Thursday, May 4, 2017

I'm Okay!

I'm fine--really--just no time to post because I am putting the finishing touches on the latest genealogy and I want it done, mailed and arrival BEFORE Mother's Day!

Rainy and cold here for about 4 days in a row.  That's good as it gives me an excuse to stay inside, away from others, and work!!!!!!!!!!

I just found out today that it is possible for one to stay in their comfy, jammies until noon and only have a teeny bit of guilt about not being dressed.

Monday, May 1, 2017

May Day

I have always loved May Day.

May Day, with sun and warmth and spring-like smells of new life.  All the Maple trees are that vibrant chartreuse green and the lawns?  Oh my!  The Red Bud trees are deliciously pink as are the Magnolia bushes and that neon yellow of the Forsythia.  Tulips and Daffodils give color to the green growth of future blooming perennials of Lilies and Iris, Peonies and Shasta Daisies.  The Lilacs are starting out, from the top of the bushes downward and already their scent is noticed.  Lovely.

It's all there, in my garden, if you look real hard through the downpour that has been going on for 3 days straight--if you step out on the porch, bundled up in your winter jacket, because it's 48 degrees.

Not exactly the May Day I prefer!!
Darlene came over Saturday night.  Her brother and his wife had taken Dad to a movie.

It was exactly one year from her minor accident.  Nine different doctors and specialists.  Six months of physical therapy, twice a week.  Another round of MRI's and CAT scans.  There is nothing out of place on any of those scans.  A bit of inflammation near her tail bone--that's it.  Yet she claims to be in severe pain all the time.

Friday she had an appointment, 50 miles away, with a renowned (for the area) Psycho Therapist that deals with pain.  Her appointment was 3 hours long.

She had to fill out a questionnaire of 150 questions--repeated in different formats to see if she gave the same answer each time.  A memory test, in which she scored quite low.  Some sort of brain scan, with wires attached to her head, in which she was asked questions.  When the technician was putting the wires on her head, she had her arm in front of Dar's eyes and Dar jumped up and ran over to the corner of the small room.

#1--she cannot stand for anyone to get that close to her face.  #2--she had the feeling the technician was trying to strap her in the chair and was going to give her shock treatments through the electrodes.  So, they allowed her to stand by the door, that was opened a bit, while they did the test--so she wouldn't feel confined and could run out the door if she needed to,.

Then the doctor came in and talked to her for over an hour.  

She had to recount the accident, or what she could remember about it and she became quite anxious and near hysteria.  Doc thinks she has PTSD.  The accident was a minor rear-ender with only a small repairable dent in her back bumper and no front-end damage to the other car.

The doc flat out told her, she has magnified the accident into an "unreal" major incident.  That her mind has locked into it and the pain she is feeling?  Purely in her mind, feelings, emotions.

He can help her with the (imagined) pain, through talk therapy and hypnosis.

She claims she cannot be hypnotized and so there is no reason for her to go back to him!
She will not allow herself to be hypnotized because she is afraid of what will happen while she is "out".  I tried to explain the whole process to her and that she wouldn't be "out", but............

When she left, I walked out with her as far as my mail box, we were talking all the way, and I talked to her as she walked the few steps to her house.  She walked right along, as straight and flexible as can be.  I did that on purpose, to see if my talking could distract her from the pain she usually displays when she walks.

Well, we've known for years that Dar is a mental mess.  I've seen her weird actions so many times.  Now, she has even given up reading her Bible and praying, which was such a great part of her life.  She said, "It doesn't make any sense to me anymore.  God has left me and I don't know how to find Him again."

I told her, "This is the time when you should be praying more.  You are trying to control everything again and you know--you can't do that.  God hasn't left you...you have allowed your mind to be so filled with all this junk--imaginations, fears, jumbled thoughts...there isn't any room for God."

That doesn't sound very kind, but Dar reacts better to straight, sometimes hard talk.

"I know.  You're right." she said.

AND--I best get too it! 

Saturday, April 29, 2017


I've been absorbed with the latest genealogy I am doing.  So absorbed that I had no desire to write a post and, there's nothing else going on here.

I got stuck!  I had no problems finding all I needed for the father's side of the family, but when I started the mother's side?  Three generations up and could not find the parents.  Nowhere could I find that guy's parents.  Not a birth record.  Not a census listing his parents.  Not a marriage or death record that listed them.

I perused State records, not listed in Ancestry.com, but just in Internet State records.  Nothing.
I Googled his name.  Nothing.  I spent hours searching.  Uncharged hours because I didn't feel it was fair to charge my client for the hours I spent searching for something I KNEW HAD to be there and I just couldn't find!  That was Thursday.

I took a break and got my hair cut.  I had been trying to get an appointment with the new stylist I have at Fantastic Sam's.  They don't DO pre-appointments.  You call the day you want and see if your stylist has an opening.  (I hate that!)  So Thursday, I had to run into Brighton and figured, as long as I was in town, I'd just drop in and see.  I was at the point where I'd take ANYONE to get the long hair off my neck!  Well, I walked in and asked and it just happened that the stylist was sitting in her chair with no customer.  

YAY!  I was outta there in 30 minutes.  I don't really like it there.  Not much personal interaction.  I had known my last hair stylist for 14 years.  She had done my daughter's and grand daughter's hair and that's how I found her.  She knew most everything about me and me, her.  Then she died and they set me up with another one in that salon, and we got pretty well acquainted.  Then she decided to get her own salon, many miles out of town and three round-abouts to get to her.

Karen recommended this stylist as her friend goes there and the stylist DOES know how to cut short hair.  But....it's kind of like a drive-thru oil change place.  You go in, you get your hair washed and cut and out you go.  When she was done with the cut, she whipped off the cape around me and headed off to turn her ticket into the cashier.  By the time I got to the cashier, the stylist was gone.

Bada Boom, Bada Bing.  No "Hi how are you?".  No,, "Thanks, have a nice day." In you go and out you go.  I did get a decent cut this time, after she finally relented to cut it shorter in back.  She "thinks" (I guess) that I want fringes hanging down the back of my neck.  When she was done, I asked for a mirror so I could see the back and then asked her to cut it much shorter.  "Shape it in from the sides to that natural point I have on the back of my neck.  I don't want to look in a mirror and see any hair hanging down behind my ears."  She did!  I don't think she likes it that way, but it was perfect!

It only costs $17.00, which is half what I used to pay, so--------in and out we go and no chit chat!
Friday morning I got right back into the genealogy.  I was searching again--places I had already been, thinking I had missed something.  Then--all of a sudden, a message came up on the monitor that asked if I wanted to link into another search program.  It is not connected to Ancestry.com, but can be linked (like Ancestry) into the program I use to collect, sort, record and store all my information.  

What the heck, right?  Why not.  I opened an account, it's free, when it came up, I put in the name and--Oh My Gosh--there he was and his parents and his parents and on and on back 11 generations!!!

YOWZA!!!  What a gold mine!

So that's how I spent Friday--and that's why I didn't post on here. 

Onward and upward I go.  Printing out information, scanning records, inputting the info into my Family Tree Maker.  I also ordered two brand new inkjet cartridges and a box of the special paper I use because.....I am going to be writing and putting the book together sometime next week!