title explained

Onward and upward! something that you say in order to encourage someone to forget an unpleasant experience or failure and to think about the future instead and move forward.

My e-mail: jjmiller6213@comcast.net

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

No worries---

Not too worry that I don't lock my front door.  I never lock my front door.  Not even when I'm gone for the day.  In the summer I do when I go to bed, but.....................................

I live in a manufactured home park.  There are probably 300 homes in here, each lot size is about 35' between homes and it would be a One in a Million chance that some stranger would pick mine, out of all the others, to walk in to.  Besides, all of us neighbors are snoopy and if there was a car in my driveway and my car was gone, one of those neighbors would have written down the license plate number and call me when I got home to report the strange car.  LOL

Neighbors knock once and then slowly open my door and call out.  I do the same at Pearl's and Dar's and Jackie's.  It started when I had my last hip surgery.  They all knew it was hard for me to get out of my recliner and get to the door, so--they knock, then open the door and call my name and I yell, "C'mon in", and everything is fine.

When I visit Pearl, I knock on her window, by her chair and then just walk in.  It is hard for her to get up and come to the door too.

Actually the only people that visit and knock and wait for me to haul myself over and open the door, are my kids--which I find strange and weird!!
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I am officially in love with and completely addicted to Prednisone.  If it didn't hurt my kidney's, liver and heart, I would take it every day for the rest of my life.

I haven't felt this good in many months!  I have so much energy.  I don't get tired.  Because it is an anti-inflammatory, none of my arthritic joints hurt--not one bit.  My mind is clearer and quicker and sharper than it has been in years!!!  My mood seems so much happier.

You cannot imagine all that I got done yesterday, that I have been putting off because I was not in the mood.  I called my cable carrier and talked to those East Indian's and got my bill lowered from 122.00 to 95.00, locked in for a year--same channel package that I had before.

I called and made an appointment to get my CT lung scan done.  I called about my gift debit card that has been compromised.  I called to make an appointment to get to the physical therapy office and start treatment.  I called and found a new hair stylist and made an appointment, I did 5 loads of laundry, cleaned up the house, AND I got my pedigrees up to the print shop, AND I finished the editing on my last genealogy book and started printing it, AND I made my Rib Eye Steak for supper.

3 minutes on each side.  Look at the size of that thing!!  Two meals for sure.  It has been ages since I have had meat to eat.  It was so good!!!
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Monday, February 13, 2017

Monday Moaning

If you haven't become acquainted with or read this young man's blog--you must start now!

I subscribed to his blog so I see it in my e-mail, first thing in the morning, and his words make my whole day better.  Sean of the South, here.
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The Prednisone is working!  Now, if I could just keep my sinuses from draining and causing that "clumping" feeling in the back of my throat, so I don't feel like I have to cough, which irritates my voice, I should live.  I have started taking Claritin, hoping to keep my sinuses dry.

It's a good thing too because I have all sorts of stuff I need to get done.  I have pedigrees I need to get to the print shop to be copied and then put in the books, get the books bound and mailed.  

I need to get PT scheduled and my CT lung scan scheduled.  I need to get on the phone and fight with Comcast to get my bill corrected and I have hardly anything to eat in this house.

Plus, there is laundry I didn't do over the weekend and vacuuming and dusting, and I need a hair-cut bad and need to find a new hair stylist.

ARGGH!  I'm tired already just thinking about all of it.
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Saturday afternoon, I was sitting in my chair, watching a movie and cross-stitching, when I heard a knock at the front door.  I remained sitting waiting for Dar or John or Merle to just walk in as they usually do, but the knock came again, so I hauled outta my chair and opened the door.

It was Jennifer!!!!!

Last week was her week to work in Michigan.  She had to drive from New Jersey, down to Philadelphia to get out of the snow storm so she could catch a flight into Detroit, but she made it.

She brought goodies for me to eat, a nice Rib-Eye Steak and a frozen Lobster tail!!!  And a washed, baking potato, shrink wrapped in plastic.  You don't take it out of the plastic--just put it in the microwave and nuke it like that.  Amazing and it was sooooooo good loaded with butter!

We had a nice chat, that didn't last near long enough.  Some of the incidences she told me about that she has gone through, getting out of meetings in the evening and having to walk to her car alone in the dark in the big cities.  Being accosted by a drug addict wanting money.  

She has a great life, very interesting and important to a lot of people, setting up Non-Profit organizations for the poor and under-privileged, but all of it just scares me.  None of which is her monthly air plane flights into and out of here.

She told me all about what the kids are involved in.  It was a wonderful time and I didn't cry at all--until after she drove away.

How I enjoy one-on-one visits.  I wish my kids would stop in more often.  
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Then, this morning, I found out, via Face Book, that apparently all the kids and Karen's kids and great grand daughter Della, got together Sunday at Pammies and.........I wasn't invited.  I don't know why that hurt, but it did.  How I would have loved that.  Just to sit back in a corner and watch them all interact with each other.  

I guess it's like their Sibling weekend they have up north at Karen's cottage.  I would ruin their time together?  Boy--it would be great to just be with all of my kids, all at the same time.  It's been a very long time since that has happened.

I think i t's because I remember back to the days when we all were together and had such a good time.  So much laughter and jokes and such a feeling of love in the house.  Now, it's like, I am off to the side and the next time we ALL get together, will be my funeral--except I won't be there.
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Enough of this maudlin, pity party--Dear Diary, I have things I have to do in this moment in time, on this day. 

As she says, "Onward and upward--ever forward"!

Saturday, February 11, 2017

Question

How long does it take this dang Prednisone to work?  I still feel lousy and tired.

Thursday, February 9, 2017

February Missions............

February is the month when I get all my medical stuff taken care of.

I am still harboring the cold and luckily, today was my doctor's appointment for what is now called, "The Medicare Well Check."  Two pages of stupid questions to answer, one of which was; "Do you suffer from any sexual dysfunctions?"  With choices of :Often", "Sometimes", I decided to be a smart a** and in large letters wrote, "NA".  HAH!  Got my weight, blood pressure checked, and all meds renewed and then the doc came in all aglow about my blood work.

I decided to throw him a curve, because I love to do that.

"These blood tests don't really show you much, do they?

"Well......."

"I mean, they wouldn't show if I had a cancer cell growing somewhere.  They wouldn't show if I had congestive heart failure.  Not just these normal CBC tests.  You would run a more specific blood test then.  Right?"

"True, but we have found a certain significance if someone were starting to have a kidney failure, on the kidney function blood work."

"SO--do I have to go through this torture twice a year?"

"Okay--in your case, these blood tests show nothing--that's true, and you probably only need them once a year--unless you start feeling unwell...something like that."

"I have a couple of questions I need to ask, so you gotta give me more than five minutes."

"I always give you half an hour, Judy....although most of the time we don't need that long."  He smiled.

"Okay--I still have this cold,  Can you check my throat?  It's still sore."  So he did and it was red and inflamed.

"I can give you something to help that, if you will take it."

"Okay.  Now--in August your office girls said I was too old to get the preventative low-dose CT scan of my lungs.  I called Medicare and they told me, "once a year, between the ages of 55-77, for ex smokers, or current smokers, who have smoked at least a pack a day for 30 years."

"How old are you?"

"Seventy-seven."

"I thought the cut off was seventy-five."

"I know you did...that's why I called Medicare."

"Okay, when will you be seventy-eight?"

"In June, so I'd like the referral paper work so I can get it done now."

"Okay.  Anything else?"

"Yes, I also need a referral paper so I can start physical therapy on my neck and shoulder.  I have put it off way too long."

"Okay.  Got it.  Anything else?"

"Yes.  Do you use those new Colo-Guard hemaoccult testers?"

"How long has it been since you've had a colonoscopy?"

"Never and I'm not going to start now.  Those testers come in the mail and you mail the sample back to the lab.  They test the DNA for cancer cells.  I'm all into DNA testing."

"Okay.  I'll fill out the form and you'll get it in the mail.

"Anything else?"

"Yes--do I need a mammogram every year.  Last year they told me I am at very low risk assessment."

"You don't need to get one ever again--unless you want too.  You don't need PAP tests anymore either."

"Good because I haven't had one of those since I turned seventy."

"You're doing great!  Anything else?"  

"Yes--can I still come in every six months instead of the four month check-in you like for your......what do you call us?  Oh yes......seasoned citizens?"

He laughed.  "Yes.  Six months for you, but you have to promise...if you have a problem...get in here."

"Okay.  I promise."

"Yeah, I bet.  You'd wait three months to see if it went away and then you'd come crawling in here and expect me to cure you.  By the way, I noticed your tremors seem to be worse.  In both hands now?"

"Yes."

" Do they interfere with your normal daily functions?"

"Yes.  I have a hard time brushing my teeth.  I have a hard time moving the computer mouse and getting the cursor in the right spot.  I have a hard time eating with a spoon, a hard time doing my crochet or cross stitch, and a hard time writing anything."

"I can give you something to help that.  Inderal."

"Okay, let me think about it.  That's also used for high blood pressure, isn't it?  A beta blocker?"

"Yes."

"Well, I'm on a beta blocker now and sometimes my blood pressure gets too low as it is and I have dizzy spells, so.............I think I'll wait on that."

"Okay.  I'll get a script for your throat.  Prednisone.  That will get you well quickly."

"Wait...wait...that's a steroid and I don't like them---they aren't good for my heart."

"You are only going to take it for five days.  That inflammation isn't good for your throat either!"

"Okay."
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So I stopped and got my Prednisone--ARGGH--he said to spread the three pills out over the day, taken after a meal and not to take it too late or it would hinder my sleep and "Be sure you take all fifteen pills, even if you start to feel better."

Other then the CT scan, the colon cancer stool sample and starting PT, my February medical needs are taken care off.  

So--I am healthy as a horse ( my father's ancestors are credited for my good genes) healthy as a horse, but still when I talk--I still sound like a horse--a hoarse horse.  

I'll see how good these dang steroids work!!!

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

February Miseries..........

It's gray, rainy and foggy today.  Exactly like my mood!  I am having to push myself to get anything done.

Last Monday, at my cousin's memorial service, a couple of people were, "fighting a cold", when I asked how they were doing.  It should have been no surprise to me when I woke up Wednesday morning, sneezing, runny nose and a scratchiness to my throat.  I haven't had a cold in six years and I was just bragging about it to one of those very cousins, last Monday.  I shoulda known better!!

By Thursday, I had laryngitis and no voice.  Red, sore throat.  I Vicksed, and I took Coricidan, and Flonased, to no avail.  Friday and Saturday, the same.  I felt worse on Sunday than I had on Thursday.

I had an appointment today (Tuesday) to run up to the doctor's office ( 6 miles away) to get my blood drawn before my yearly appointment on this Thursday.  I had heard a weather report that freezing rain was expected, so instead, I had the doc's office fax over my blood draw request to the little hospital just a half mile from here.  I went at 10:00 yesterday morning.

The nurse in my doctor's office uses a butterfly needle for the blood draw.  No such nonsense up at the little hospital.  They use the BIG needle that sucks the blood outta your arm.  Yes, it is quicker to get 3 vials filled up, but every time the nurse leaned over to get a new vial to pop on the needle, she also leaned the needle further into my vein.  So, within a couple of hours on getting home, the spot was still bleeding, and the bruise had started marching up toward my bicep and down toward my forearm.  Plus, my whole upper arm ached.

However, within those couple of hours, I signed into my Patient Portal and there were the results of my blood work.  I find it seriously funny, when I used to ask, "When will I know the results," they used to answer, "You doctor will have them in three days."  In reality, the results have gone to the lab, been centrifuged and posted on the network computer within 2 hours.  Why the three day answer?  Because that's how long it takes the doctor to get around to look in his computer to see them.

In actuality, my doctor will read them just before he walks into my exam room on Thursday.  THUS--the reason I get them, go over them, record them in my Excel spreadsheet and compare them to last years, BEFORE I go to my appointment.  If there are any major changes, I want to know so I can ask the doc about it.

Now last year, he said I had the blood work of a 55 year old.  This years results are nearly the same with my bad cholesterol being one point lower.  Does that make me a 54 year old?  HAH!!!
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You may think all this makes me obsessive about my health.  Not so.  It's just that I don't exactly trust any doctor, so over these many years, I have researched every med prescribed to me.  Researched every procedure done to me.  All of that seems to bring a certain comfort and less stress to me.  To see the report before the doctor does.  I want no surprises!!!

I even watched a video of a hip replacement surgery BEFORE I had mine.  I wouldn't suggest you do that because it is a pretty ugly surgery; bone fragments flying around the operating room, the leg totally disconnected from the body, except by tissue and skin, but for some reason, knowing what was going to happen, made me feel a lot better.  Plus, afterwards, it made me aware of WHY that hip hurt so damn much and I knew, my pain wasn't unusual.  LOL

Besides all that, I think every one needs to be their own advocate and ask questions, like, "Is this test really necessary," and I feel so dismayed when I have asked people like Pearl or Dar, "Which med do you take for high blood pressure?" and they answer, "The pink one."  ARGGH!!!
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Today, I am feeling a bit better from the cold.  My throat only hurts on my left tonsil, my runny nose is drying up and I have my voice back--well kinda.    My living room looks like a total mess, but I have my big long folding table up in there, as I am laying out long pedigrees to take to be printed on long sheets of landscape paper at the print shop.  Maybe tomorrow I will take them.  Not today, in the rain.

Then I can put them into the genealogy books (2) and get those bound.  2 more books to print.  One with an extra generation added, so that will mean another set of pedigrees to be created, put together and printed.  

This work is probably the only reason I have gotten through this cold without totally giving up and just going to bed.  LOL  A nice distraction.
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I watched the first half of the Super Bowl.  My favorite part was George H. W. and Mrs. Bush for the coin toss.  I love those two.  I HAVE to watch "Mercy Street". "Victoria" and "The 6 Wives of Henry VIII" on PBS, so I missed the best part of the Super Bowl--the ending.  Oh well--I didn't really care who won, so it's not to matter.  I am happy these shows are on PBS on Sunday night because I have missed watching "Downton Abbey".

Friday, February 3, 2017

Collections.....

Debbie, over at All About Purple, blogged about her massive collection of Sea Glass.  I had asked her about it a week ago, so I was tickled to pieces to see her post.  I have 3 pieces of sea glass--that's it.

Living in Michigan, we are surrounded by the 5 fresh water Great Lakes.  We occasionally find a piece of sea...or lake glass I suppose it would be called, but mostly, on our lake shores we find rocks!  Interesting rocks.  I have collections of different kinds of rocks, gathered here in Michigan, and from every State I have visited.  My favorites are the heart-shaped rocks I have found.


all kinds of stones 


I found this while looking for info on our State rock--the Petoskey Stone.  I had no idea that at one time Michigan was located near the equator!  Apparently I have forgotten everything I ever learned in college Geology I and II, about Continental Drift.

"Well before dinosaurs roamed the earth, over 350 million years ago during the Devonian period, the land we know as Michigan was located near the equator. Covered by a warm, shallow, saltwater sea, the colonial coral hexagonaria percarinata thrived with other marine life in tropical reefs. The earth’s plates moved and pushed Michigan north to the 45th parallel and above sea level, which created dry land formations. More recently, about two million years ago, glacial action scraped the earth and spread the fossils across the northern Lower Peninsula, depositing major concentrations in the Petoskey area. The prehistoric fossil, unique to the Traverse Group rock strata, is called the Petoskey Stone and is Michigan’s official state stone."

I have Petoskey stones--many, many, collected by the Lake Michigan (west) side of the State.  



One week, in 1985, I was having a very difficult time in my life.  Newly divorced 10 months before, and dumped by my first "rebound" boyfriend, I packed up my station wagon and headed to Lake Huron (east) side of the State.  As I drove along the shore-line, I saw some little cabins, built on the sand, about 100 feet from the Lake.  I stopped and rented one for four days.

Let me tell you--it was tiny.  Probably 200 sq. ft, bed, two kitchen chairs, small table and a bathroom.  It was perfect.  I unloaded my stuff and then walked along that shore-line for a mile or so--looking down, always looking down for any interesting rocks or the occasional shell I might find.

There was a full moon that night and around midnight, I walked out to the shore-line.  I was crying and so distraught.  I looked up and the light from the moon shimmered on the water.  It looked like I could walk on the path of that light right up into Heaven.

I took one step into the water, then another.  Following that path of light across that big Lake.

I do not remember anything after that.   I woke up the next morning, naked in the cottage bed, with a pile of my wet clothes on the floor.  

What had happened?  Had I tried to drown myself?  I can't swim and yet, there lay the evidence that I had been in water up to my neck.  I felt shaky.

I jumped into some dry clothes and walked out to the spot where I had been that night.  The sun was shining so brightly and a nice warm breeze.  I tried to remember the night before.  I remember starting to walk into the big Lake, but...............nothing else.

I looked down at the rocks along the water's edge and saw what I thought was a Petoskey Stone.  Couldn't be--they are found on the other side of the State, many water miles away.  I reached down and picked it up.  Oh My God!  It was!

 It is only as big as my thumb nail.  I carry it in my coin purse, these last 32 years, because that little stone showed me that if it could somehow travel from Lake Michigan, up the shore-line, under the Mackinaw Bridge and down the Lake Huron shore-line to exactly where I was standing?  All things are possible!!
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Wednesday, February 1, 2017

February--or, dark and dreary in the North.

While January always has felt like a new time, a time to get inside chores done and clean up the house, February has always felt like drab, dark and dreary to me.  "The longest month of the year," my Mother used to proclaim.  Usually not enough clean, white snow to cover the dead gardens/lawns and not enough sun to brighten up the dark spaces.

February used to be a much dreaded month for me.  Not so anymore.  I don't know why.  My sister is still affected by it.  Is it my Ott Daylight lamp I sit under while I stitch?  Or is it, that at this age, time goes by so fast that by the time I realize it's February, March is knocking at the door?
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I finally got all the ham sliced and packaged and frozen from the half ham Karen gave me for Christmas.  Sunday, I put that bone in the Crock Pot.  Monday, I added the cabbage, onions, carrots and potatoes.  I enjoyed a nice dish of boiled dinner for supper.  I have frozen the rest.  8 plastic snap-tight containers.



I also attended a Memorial Service for my cousin's husband on Monday.  It was lovely.  I have never been to a Memorial service and it seemed different than a regular funeral.  Better, more relaxed than a funeral.  Perhaps because the deceased person is not reclining in a casket at the back/front of the room?

Each of his children got up and talked about memories of their Dad, and a lot of the grandchildren did also.  It lasted a long time--over two hours--with lots of songs too.  But, I was so engaged that I didn't even get fidgety.  Which is unusual for me.

I want lots of music at my funeral too.  I have a song picked out for a duet to sing, and 3 songs for the people to sing.

The first song we sang at the Memorial service was, "Jesus Loves Me."  I just might add that to my funeral.  
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Not too much else going on.  Creating pedigrees for genealogy.  Making copies of a book for other family members.  Running up to town to get new inkjet cartridges, the usual household chores and...
I am really having fun with this cross stitch.  It is going to be just the right size for over the back door.