title explained

Onward and upward! something that you say in order to encourage someone to forget an unpleasant experience or failure and to think about the future instead and move forward.

My e-mail: jjmiller6213@comcast.net

Sunday, August 4, 2013

A Soft and Slow Sunday

Today's high temperature was:  69 degrees
Today's humidity was: 28%
Sunny, breezy and gorgeous!
===============================================

This is some kind of weather we are having.  Every one is talking about it.  Day after day of absolutely perfect weather--and looking ahead to the coming week--it continues.  If this is any case of global warming/climate change--let's keep it going, LOL.

This is what I did today:


This guy got up and asked, "Show me your hands if any of you
have already said today, "This a such beautiful day!""
Almost everyone raised their hand.


 So---we sang this



It was the first Sunday of the month, so we did this.


and we did this when we left the church....


then I stopped here.....



and here and bought this.....



had to go through quite a bit of this to get home...

Then, I changed my clothes and ate a nice big salad, and sat down to....

do some of this while...


I watched this.....


and did some of this while....




I watched this....



then the kids and I did this--for two hours.....

==============================================================

I don't quite know how to word this, but it has left me very shaken.  I kept jerking half awake, while I was napping.  I half awoke one time and I was opening and closing my hands.  Then--I was still sleep and I felt Fred touching my upper lip with his tongue.  I turned my head to the left and reached my hand up to touch his face and woke up smiling---and it was me--touching my upper lip with the tip of my own tongue.  My hand was still up and out to the side, reaching for him and I was smiling so big.

I said right out loud, "Oh Geez!  What in the world!!"  Buddy jumped off the chair, it scared him.

Here it is, hours later, and I cannot shake that weird feeling.  It reminds me of the first night I was in hospital with my last hip surgery and the nurse came in to see who I was talking too and laughing with and I told her, "Fred.  He is sitting right over there in the chair," and pointed to the empty chair by my bed.  

It was so real!!  I could hear his voice.  I could almost smell him.

Spooks me out!  I do not believe in spirits or souls coming back and communicating with us on this side of the "veil".  

Fred is dead!  He has been dead for 19 months and 3 days!  There is no way this is "real".  In hospital, I thought my encounter was from the drugs they were giving me.  Today?  I have no idea!

I thought I was all recovered from all of this death and grief stuff.  I go days and don't even think about Fred.  I still cry, once in a while, if I hear a particular song, or think of a memory or see a picture, but not all that often--and only a few tears.

What is going on?  

Is there still some tiny remnant, buried deep in my sub-conscious that thinks he is coming back?  Or is there a feeling that I am going to meet him again--soon?  

It's creeping me out!!!
=================================================




P.S.  If you comment--go back up to the picture of my pastor, please, and tell me how old you think he is--okay?















Saturday, August 3, 2013

Bad Day--Turned Out Good

Today's high temperature was:  74 degrees
Today's humidity was:  36%
Sunny, breezy, cool.
Glorious day!!!
=======================================

I woke up around 9:00 feeling very sad.  I don't know why--just thinking about Freddy.  Then--I watched this on You Tube.  I thought it ironic that this song and lyrics could be chosen as a wedding song or...a song for someone who has lost a child, a husband, a mother--any loved one.  Which ever setting it would be used in, would work.  It made me cry.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3ktiaNTJ2Q
Stupid to listen to this when in a sad mood!!!
====================================
Then I sat down and read my daily devotional--made me feel better.  It's like Jesus is talking to you.

I was going to take it easy today, because my hip hurt so much last night, I was barely able to walk. I was tired and sore and grumpy and.....so I would do only what was necessary!



I needed to fill up my pill boxes.
Of course, they are in order by color.  Only God knows what would happen
if I took pills from the clear box one day and from a blue box
the next.  No--No.(Can anyone say OCD?)
The file case I keep all my meds and supplements in.

All filled

Back in their box--12 days worth.  Done.

Then the mail lady came and brought a box up to my door.  This was inside--a little buy from E-Bay and cute, I think.  Maybe from New England?  It must have been a box of salted cod, because these instructions are printed on the side.
I love the little handle--there is a track, so it must have had a wooden top that slide in.
I remember my Mother getting cod in a small wooden box, but it had no handle.


"To prepare for cooking--freshen the fish as follows:

Wash fish for 15 minutes in cooled water.
Place fish in pan and cover with water.
Heat slowly to a boil and pour off water.
Repeat this last process until fish is no 
longer salty to taste.".


I have no idea what they are doing--between my desk and the front window
Buddy has his head under the curtain
Crazy Cats!!!

This limb was dead--I had tried to pull it down, but couldn't.
I put the hummingbird feeder and some small sun catchers on it.
When I looked up from the cats--I saw it bent over.

I went out and pulled the branch off the tree...
So I took down the wind chimes...

Put the hummer feeder there....

and the wind chimes on the other end of porch

This bothered me every time I looked out the window.....


Or out the front door.............I was going to wait until Monday, but.....................



Got the hedge trimmers and took care of the Weigela


and the forsythia bush

I wonder if my neighbor would mind if I trimmed his Forsythia?
It annoys me!!!

The big Maple tree needs the many new branches trimmed away--
but, I cannot climb a ladder and get in that tree--


like Fred did five years ago---so--this project
is going to cost money!!!

Filled up the lawn waste bag with the clippings from the bushes
I think there is room to put some cut-back of the perennials.


Took all the tools back to the shed and picked these from
my weird garden.


Then I filled these


Came inside and did a little laundry

Sat down to watch a little golf--Tiger is doing well this weekend


Read some of this...

Did a little of this...

Just as I was about to get up and get supper, Pearl walked in and five minutes later, Dar.  We had to listen to what Dar had done today and then Pearl went to say something about her new carpet--because Dar asked--and Pearl got about six words out and Dar interrupted and said, "I have the worse mosquito bite on my arm!" and went into a long dissertation of how she is allergic to mosquitoes.  She is allergic to everything, by the way.

Then, she turned to Pearl and said, "Did you see my new car?"

Pearl--"Yes, it's beautiful!"

Dar--It gets forty miles to the gallon on the highway."

Pearl--"We have almost enough saved up to get another car.  Ours is seventeen years old and.....

Dar--"Judy, did I tell you, my father dyed his hair?"  horse laugh

I turned to Pearl, "You've had a great car!  What kind do you think you are going to look at?"

Pearl--"We wish they still made Saturn's.  Merle likes Ford's, but I'd rather get a Chev..........."

Dar--"He looks so funny!"  horse laugh

Pearl--"Look at the time.  It's almost seven and Judy hasn't eaten yet.  I'm going home.  Bye."

Dar---"Thank God--now I can have a cigarette!"

Me--"Well, if you will excuse me...I have to get something to eat." and I got up and walked over to the refrigerator.

Dar--"Oh, I gotta go too.  I want to watch that Debbie Macomber show tonight."

Me--"Yeah.  Me too.  See ya later."  and I didn't even walk her out!!!  Warmed up the rest of my Filet Mignon and baked potato--way good!!!  Ate most of the tomatoes I brought in from garden.

Something I noticed about Dar the last couple of months. Whenever she talks about her Dad, she laughs that horse laugh all the way through the telling.  She doesn't laugh like that when she talks about ANYONE else, except her Dad.  Some weird psychological thing going on there me thinks!

So--today, I didn't figure I would do anything, because of the hip and back pain, but I got a lot done, and now I can read a bit more and then go to bed.

Put your arm out in front of you--then put your hand under your arm--thumb in front, fingers in back.  Now squeeze thumb and fingers together.  The muscles in the back of my arr, under my fingers are killing me--as are the muscles in the front, under my thumb.

"It hurts...when I do this."  Doctor says, "Then quit doing it!"  Yeppers--hope all this is toning up my flabby arms--doubt it!!!

Later--Jude







Friday, August 2, 2013

Simple Pleasures

Today's high temperature was:  67 degrees
Today's humidity was:  40%
Weird weather today--very breezy, cloudy, then sunny, then cloudy.
========================================

I got up around 8:30 this morning--from the roar of the lawn mower outside my bedroom window.  My lawn mowing guy was here doing his wonderful job on my lawn.  

It was cold in this place--65 degrees, but I resisted turning on the furnace for a moment of take the chill off--opened up the front door and a couple of windows because it was warmer outside--68--but with the strong breeze, it just made it feel colder.  Truly weird weather for August in Michigan.

Did my morning routine and then went in to take a shower.  Not just an ordinary shower, but the ultimate shower.  It was so cold in the bathroom that I turned on the shower full blast to get some warm, moist air in there.  Put scrubbing stuff on my face and rubbed it in, put Veet Shower Hair Remover on my legs, brushed my teeth and hopped in.  Man--it is so nice to have nice really warm water coming out of the shower head!  I scrubbed the stuff off my face with a rough sponge, then washed my hair, and took my poof and lathered nice Dove Body Moisturizer Wash all over and lastly, took the same rough sponge and scrubbed the Veet and leg hair off.  I was nice and pink all over and smoooooth-----------------

Took care of my beard and mustache and then slathered my face and neck with Olay Anti-Aging moisturizer!  I looked in the mirror--tweezed out a few white eyebrow hairs and I looked as young as--oh--68 perhaps?  LOL.

I slathered my arms and legs with Eucerin for Dry Skin lotion, then pulled on socks, my jeans and a long sleeved knit top.  Felt great!!!






==================================

I no more got sat down in front of the computer when my lil' sister called me.  Man--she was giggly and so hyper!  Yesterday, she met her 3 best friends (from school) at the Byron Golf Course for lunch.  Then, they decided to walk around the home town a bit.  Looking at the houses where their other friends used to live--some with grandchildren still living there.  Then they stopped up at the Elementary School to see another friend of theirs (Libby) --a teacher's aid in Kindergarten, who was fixing up the room for the start of school.  Then they went out to Susan's to see the house, as last year they all got together there, just after she moved in.  Then on the spur of the moment, they decided to go to the other friend's (Marsha) summer home--she winter's in Texas.  Her "summer' home is near where I live and only 3,500 sq. ft.  "Much smaller then our Texas home", she said.  

Lana had told Susan, "Marsha has more money then God, but you'd never know it by the way she acts."  She is Lana's cousin.

Susan said it was magnificent--"I took pictures so you can see it!  She and her husband are multi-millionaires, but they worked hard for what they have and they give a lot to their church and charities because they are so grateful."

Susan said, "I left at eleven o'clock yesterday morning and I didn't get home until nine.  I had the most wonderful day since I've moved back here."

She said what was really nice about it, she and Marsha got to talk about step-mother's and Marsha is coming out to Susan's to have a longer afternoon--just the two of them.  Susan said every time she mentioned something about our step-mother, Marsha would say, "Oh...I know!"   So they will have a lot of notes to compare and it will do them both good to talk about it--just to know they aren't the only person with a Wicked Step-Mother!!

Lana and Marsha's mother's were sisters and friends with my mother.  Sue was born when her brother's were 15 and 17, and Susan born when I was 13, so she and Sue had much older siblings.  

Front:  Marsha and Sue
Back:  Lana and Susan
Look at Lana--she looks about 45!!!

These "little" girls were five when I graduated.  They were in our house a lot and liked being upstairs in my bedroom.  They'd sit on the bed and watch--as I got into my "ball gown" as they called it--ready for the Prom.  Or watch as I put on my formal for the Homecoming parade--holding my "plastic crown" as if they were little ladies in waiting.  Then, I remember them so well, standing on the sidelines of the football field, during the parade, and yelling my name.  I, of course, waved and threw them kisses.  They would just stand there and look up at me with such awe and admiration on their sweet faces.

 It's strange--when I went to Susan's last year and happened to be the day they all were there, they came tearing out of the house yelling, "Judy--Judy!" and grabbed me in hugs and told me how beautiful I "still am". Then they told me how impressed they were with me, back in those days.  How I was so "glamorous" and "cool" and how they wanted to be "just like you, when we grew up."  Delightful!!!

Then in 13 years, I watched as my sister was in the Queen's court and Lana was the Queen and my daughter dated Sue and her husband's son and.....all connected.  That's the way it is in a small town/community! Connected all of our lives!!!

They are all 61 now and looking pretty good themselves!!!

(BETHIE--they are--Marsha Gordon, Sue Skinner, Lana Cecil)
===============================

I didn't do a thing outside.  I WILL trim those bushes on the west side of my house tomorrow--I promise.  I also need to change the furnace filter.  Oh--I forgot--when I took my shower--I went into my bedroom afterwards and heard the gas going on under the water heater, but guess what?  Not one popping sound of calcium or lime deposits bouncing around on the burner plate.  I AM SO HAPPY!!!!!

Pearl called me around 3:30 and wanted to know if I wanted to go to supper.  I have a gift card to Outback Steak House and I have been bugging her to take me the next time she and Merle go there.  Filet Mignon and a Baked Potato!!!!!    Their daughter met us there and her daughter and her daughter, LOL.  Pearl and Merle's, daughter, grand daughter, great grand daughter--the ones who raked up the clippings for me.  We had a great time!  The Filet Mignon was, medium rare and so tasty and so easy to chew and my baked potato came with only butter--like I requested--lots of butter and a few slim green beans on the side.  $26.57.  I wanted to get Pearl and Merle's supper too, but they wouldn't let me.  I only ate half my supper because I knew, if I ate it all, I would be sick.  It was more food then I have eaten in 2 days!!! and now, I have half left for tomorrow's lunch.


When we got back, I stopped in to see their new carpet that was installed today.  The girls had painted the ceiling white, which really brightened up their dark paneled living room and the carpet is grey.  Not a color I would like to live with, but one that Pearl just loves, so that's all that matters.  Tiger came out to greet me, which Pearl says is weird because he doesn't like anyone else.  It has taken Tiger and I about a year to get friendly, but now he knows, I am not going to bend down and pick him up (which he hates).  I let him come to me and then I pet him a bit on his head, scratch his ears, and when his tail starts switching--I stop :-)  He bite Pearl the other day because she hauled him up on her lap and he is NOT a lap cat.  Then she waggled her finger in his face and said, "No biting," and he bit her again.  I think he thought she was playing with him with the waggling finger--she does that to Maggie and when Maggie reaches out with her front claws and hooks Pearl, Pearl gets all mad.  I have told her and told her and.............that Maggie thinks she is playing and not to waggle the finger, but she just won't listen to me, so.......sometimes she leaves her with a few pieces of missing skin from her finger.  Hey---I warned you.

Anyway--we had a good time and I am stuffed!!!!!

I am hoping tomorrow I can get the other bushes trimmed. 

P.S.  Had to drink a glass of water and 2 Alka-Seltzer's as I am stuffed and feel barfy.  My digestive system is not used to meat and potatoes!!! 











Thursday, August 1, 2013

Done and Done!

Today's high temperature was:   74 degrees
Today's humidity was:  66%
Sunny, cloudy, with a nice breeze.
==============================================
I didn't get up very early this morning--guess I was still pooped out from Tuesday and the bush massacre!  I walked down to Pearl's and took Tiger (cat) a little mouse to play with and 3 DVD's for her and Merle to watch.  I asked her, 'Isn't is suppose to rain today?"

She said, "Nope.  Maybe later...during the night."

It was predicted to rain again, but by 2:00 and not a drop, I decided to get out and cut the remaining two Privet bushes.  It only took me an hour to get them both done.

I came in to rest and was cleaning the mold out of my window tracks when I saw Pearl--carrying two old plastic tablecloths, I yelled,  "What are you up too?"

"I brought these down--I am doing to load them up and take them home to put in Merle's truck."

"Why don't you wait for Merle to bring the truck down?"

"He's taking a nap and rain is coming."

"I thought you told me it wasn't going to rain."

"Changed my mind."

I went outside to help her.  I got my big empty garbage can to put the larger branches in.

"You can't be doing this, Pearl." I said as I started raking the stuff onto the plastic cloths.

"I feel really good today.  That medicine your doctor gave me seems to be helping a lot."

So we bent and we scooped.

Tami opened up her kitchen window and said, "Oh...look at the ladies working so hard."

Pearl was bending over and she said under her breath, "Quit looking and get your sorry ass out here and help."

Just about cracked me up, but we kept busy-- and we filled up both plastic tablecloths and the big can and I took one of the cloths, and the can and she came behind with the other cloth.  We had to stop twice, in that less then 50 foot walk back to her house, but we finally got them back to her place and in behind the truck.

She put her arm around me, leaned on me and rested her head on my shoulder and I put my arm around here and rested my head on top of hers and then we heard laughter and looked up---there was Merle watching us out the window.  He came out and loaded it all in the back of his truck and will dispose of it.

Merle said, "Why didn't you wait for me to take the truck up there?"

Pearl said, "You were taking a nap and it is going to rain so---WE ARE WOMEN--WE CAN DO IT!"

So glad to have it done.  What a Sweetheart she is!!!  AND, a half hour later, the clouds opened up and we got a gully washer!!!

That is a Maple tree growing up out of that bush--
and a Rose of Sharon bush growing there too.



They look a little ragged, but by next spring, they will be full and fine
and
I won't have to cut them back again until I am 80 years old!!!

from this to this
Now I have to trim my Forsythia and my Weigela bush and I should be all set for fall.

I no more got back into my chair to rest my back and the phone rang--it was Dar.  She was at work, but sounded all panicky.

"You have to get on-line and research about electronic cigarettes and order one for me!"

"Ah--wait----what?"

"I just found out I have COPD and I have to quit smoking.  I need one of those electronic cigarettes to smoke.  Like the kind you used to have!"

"They don't make the kind I used to use anymore.  They have gone to a different, more expensive one.  I don't know anything about them."

"Well--just get on the computer and research it for me and order me one that you think will work.  I will pay you for it later."

"Dar--I can't do that"

"Why not?"

"This is something you have to do.  You have to research them and figure out which one you want and buy it yourself.  It's not something I can do because I might make the wrong choice."

"Oh--I just don't know how to do that!"

"I will send you the link.  When you get home, go to your e-mail, click on the link and take it from there."

"But--I don't want to put it on my charge card."

"Well--I am not going to put it on MY charge card.  Have them take the money out of your debit card."

"What if someone hacks into my account--they could take all my money."
   So it's okay if someone hacks into MY account, but not hers?

"Try the patches instead."

"I can't.  I'm allergic to them."

"Try the gum or the lozenges."

"I can't.  They give me sores in my mouth."

"Get some Chantix from your doctor."

"I can't.  The last time I tried that I got suicidal!"

"I guess you are just going to have to cold turkey it then."

"What?  I can't do that!"

"What do you mean...you can't?"

"I just can't."

"Of course you can.  It will take two weeks of cravings and then they will get less and less and then you won't have any at all. With the other patches, gum, whatever--you still have to wean yourself off the nicotine--eventually."

"I've been smoking since I was twelve!!  That's almost sixty years!  I can't quit!"

"Well then---don't!  It won't make the COPD go away if you quit--not now, not once you have it, but it will slow the progression down.  I will send you the link, so you can research what you want to do.  You can then make up your mind."
=================================

I said "no"!  Amazing!!!


The phone rang around seven o'clock this evening--it was Dar.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Oh, sure.  I'm great!"  horse laugh

"When did you find out you have COPD?"

"Oh--I don't know for sure.  The last time I was in the ER, they did an x-ray and I got the report and it said I had a nodule and the beginnings of COPD."

"Oh--you know--remember--when I was in that same ER last December and they also told me I had a nodule in my left lung and when I got it checked out---there was none.  Remember?"

"Yeah.  I have an appointment next Tuesday to get a CAT Scan of my lungs."

"Well--don't worry until you get the results of that."

"Oh--I'm not worried."

"You aren't?  You seemed kind of in a panic when you called me at four o-clock...from work."

"Hey--did you notice?  I drove home in that heavy thunder storm?"

"Yes.  I noticed.  Good job."

"Yeah...now I just have to learn to drive on the expressway again."

     Okay--I guess her crisis is over?
========================================== 

Tonight, I watched the DVD of Bambi.  GEEZ!!! What a horrible movie for little kids to watch.  I first saw it when I was four and was so terrified that I got to crying (really loud) and my grandma had to take me outside!  Then, a year later Mother and Grandma took me to see "Lassie Come Home" and I got to crying and sobbing about the poor doggie when Lassie was trying to get home and her paws were all cut and bleeding from the rocks she was climbing over.  

The nursery rhymes and fairy tales we were brought up on? Terrible scary stories.  "My Friend Flicka"--my grandma read me that book when I was six and in bed with the measles.  I had nightmares and I didn't even LIKE horses.

And who can forget this:


No wonder a lot of us grew up traumatized and scared of everything!!!

My Mother always sang Brahms Lullaby to me.

Lullaby and goodnight, with roses bedight
With lilies o'er spread is baby's wee bed
Lay thee down now and rest, may thy slumber be blessed
Lay thee down now and rest, may thy slumber be blessed



I loved it, but for the life of me, I could never figure out what "roses bedight" meant!

I sang this one to my kids:

Bye, baby Bunting,
Daddy’s gone a-hunting,
To get a little rabbit skin
To wrap his baby Bunting in

I must ask them someday if they were traumatized by that lullaby!!!  GEEZ!!

My grandma always sang, "You Are My Sunshine" to me.  I think that was the best song ever!!

You are my Sunshine,
My only sunshine.
You make me happy,
When skies are grey.
You'll never know dear,
How much I love you.
Please don't take 
My sunshine away.

She never sang the other stupid, sad verses--she just kept repeating the chorus over and over.